Diplomacy Zine --- The Lost Chapter

From: tedward@grimnir.cs.cornell.edu (Ted Fischer)

Date: Tue, 29 May 1990 18:28:43 +0000

Chapter Two of ELECTRONIC PROTOCOL:

This chapter contains results from DRAGONSLAYER, BISMARCK, COLD WAR,
and gunboat games JACAL, VERSAILLES, MANHATTAN, and DRESDEN.

Issue #154
===============================================================================
Results from Dresden for year 1902
===============================================================================

DRESDEN: Spring 1902
---England----------------------------------Germany----------------------------
A NWY H                                 |A Den - SWE
F Nws - BAR                             |A MUN - Bur            BOUNCE (Par)
F NTS S (F Lon - Ech)                   |A Kie - RUH
F Lon - ECH                             |A Ber - PRU
---France-------------------------------|F Hol - BEL
A SPA H                                 |---Austria----------------------------
A PAR - Bur             BOUNCE (Mun)    |A GRE S (A Ser - Bul)
F Ech - WAL                             |A Ser - BUL
---Italy--------------------------------|A Tri - SER
A Mar - GAS                             |A BUD S RUS (A Gal - Rum)
A Pie - MAR                             |F Alb - ION
F Tun - WME                             |---Turkey-----------------------------
F Rom - TUS                             |A Bul - Rum            FAIL (Disband)
F Nap - TYS                             |A SMY - Arm            BOUNCE (Bla)
---Russia-------------------------------|F CON S (F Ank - Bla)
A Gal - RUM                             |F Ank - BLA
A STP - Nwy             FAIL            |--------------------------------------
A SEV S (A Gal - Rum)                   |
F Bla - Arm             FAIL (Disband)  |
F Swe - GOB                             |
-----------------------------------------

POSITIONS:
Austria: 5      A Gre Bul Ser Bud        F Ion
England: 4      A Nwy                    F Bar Nts Ech
France:  3      A Spa Par                F Wal
Germany: 5      A Swe Mun Ruh Pru        F Bel
Italy:   5      A Gas Mar                F Wme Tus Tys
Russia:  4      A Rum StP Sev            F GoB
Turkey:  3      A Smy                    F Con Bla

PRESS:
THE KAISER PRESENTS PRESENT TO LORD DAN
LORD DAN SPEAKS TO REPORTERS
SULTAN SPEAKS CANDIDLY ON LORD DAN
SULTAN VISITS REMAINS OF SUMMER HOME
SOUTHERN WAR GOES ON
CZAR PROPOSES PEACE WITH ENGLAND
REPORTER BAGGED BY EMPRESS
DIPLOMATIC INFILTRATOR PICKED UP IN ITALY
GERMAN FORCES CHARGE OVER THE BELGIUM BORDER

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Deutsch Homeland (Vienna)     May 1, 1902

As a sign of goodwill between the German and Austro-Hungarian
Empires the Kaiser presented Lord Dan with a collection of fifty rare
pens today.  The collection was assembled by the Kaiser himself and
includes his personal favourite, one with a hand-carved miniature of
the Kaiser posing in front of Kaiserland, the popular German amusement
park.  There was excitement in our leader's eyes as he demonstrated
how you could make it snow in Kaiserland by shaking the pen up and
down.  Lord Dan declined to make any comment.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Austrian Herald 			(Mar 17, 1901)
  Reporters have been assured by Lord DAN that the Rumanian and
Bulgarian uprisings will be put to rest by the end of 1901.  There
isn't really a lot that the Sultan can do about it right now, as the
Russians currently have control of the Black Sea.  This spring the
Army from Serbia will be attempting to liberate Bulgaria from the
Turks, and if it fails, they will be trying again in the fall
(hopefully with the support of the Russians).  In any event, the
Christmas party will be in Ankara on Dec 24, 1903.  All major
political leaders are invited to attend and a collection has been
started to fix up the Sultan's palace after the bombardment last fall.
Also, Lord DAN has voiced his hopes that the Austrian fleet doesn't
get delayed moving through the Ionian Sea in route to the coast of
Turkey.  He has realized that it will be an inconvenience to Italy to
let them pass at this time, especially seeing that the Italians have
two new fleets to be sent out to sea.  No conflict is intended if they
bounce and the Austrian fleet will stay out of the Ionian as long as
necessary if this occurs.  It is just that Lord DAN had announced his
intent last fall about this move, and if he changes his mind, it could
cause a small rift in the Austrian/Italian relations.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Swiss Star: 		January 1902

In a rare exclusive interview given to the Swiss Television network,
STV, the Sultan spoke on issues from the drug trade to the bombing of
his Ankara palace.  The show will air later in the year, but the Swiss
Star was able to get the following snipet:

STV: "What about your sometime friend and sometime rival, Lord Dan?

Sultan: "I have always admired L.D., but his handling of the Rumanian
situation has left me puzzled.  There will not be much left of the
Russian empire in a year or two after England completes its invasion
yet he hands Rumania over to them willingly instead of taking it
himself.  Very strange!  I believe this is the first mistake I have
ever seen L.D. make"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ankara Daily News			March, 1902

The Sultan visited the rubble of his seaside resort here today and
appeared quite shaken by the scene.  He began screaming incoherently
and then started ordering peasants into the Black Sea yelling, "If I
say the beach is safe to surf, it's safe to surf."  Later, apparently
after composing himself, the Sultan held a press conference where he
addressed relations with Russia.  "The Czar has done a very stupid
thing by destroying my mansion, my cars, my Jacuzzi,...  and he will
pay.  The Russian people will now feel my full wrath."  When asked
about the Russian's apparent alliance with the Austrians, the Sultan
replied, "At this point, the Austrian's have done nothing to
antagonize us and I am sure that when the time comes, they will see
that the riches to be gained by plundering Russia are very great
indeed."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
IRP (Imperial Russian Press) March 1901

Now that new forces have been mustered in Sevastopol, victory
against the infidels is near. If Austria gives the promised support,
our troops can finaly leave foreign soil and end the Rumanian civil
war. After that, Russian troops are only waiting for the Austrian
government to say from where they want to attack Bulgaria, and they
will help liberating this country from the Turks.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
IRP (Imperial Russian Press) March 1901

With the Russian fleet already leaving Sweden, the Czar proposed a
three-points plan for peace between Russia and England:
  1) The Czar accepts Englands claim for all Scandinavia
  2) England doesn't attack Russia in St. Petersburg or elsewhere
  3) The Barents Sea and Finland are demilitarized by both countries
The Czar stated that Russian troop movements against Norway this Spring
are only maneuvers to keep England from moving overwhelming forces to
countries bordering the Russian Motherland, as this proposal would reach
England so late, that English forces might be already moving. If England
wanted peace, they should make this public as early as possible and move
accordingly in Fall.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Swiss Star, Spring 1902:

A reporter taking pictures of the Empress on vacation in the Alps
was knocked over the head with her great handbag today.  She was
spotted leaving her private jet at the airport.  She arrived at the
hotel with an unidentified man, and assaulted the reporter as he took
a picture of the couple.
  She was overheard at the dinner table criticizing the French.
"First they threaten the English, but back down in the end.  They
can't get anywhere with Germany, and they let us walk right into
Marseilles as they lounge around in Spain."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Naples News, April 5, 1902.

Today details of a secret plot to bribe the Empress were revealed.
It seems some foreign entity the state is not revealing has found a
way to get a private message through to Ieda.  This excerpt was
released:

From envoy Fri April 1 12:00:01 1902
	Received: from America.cs.edu
		id AA11783; Fri, 1 April 02 12:00:01 GMT
	Date: Fri, 1 April 02 12:00:01 GMT
	From: envoy (Diplomatic Envoy)
	Message-Id: <8905041448.AA16761@America.cs.edu>
	To: Ieda@Italy.Europe.edu
	Subject: Spring Moves
	Status: RO

Empress,  I am writting to you representing one of the greater
	powers of Europe.  They wish to conduct secret negotiations
	with you, and  asked me to act as go between.  Please let me know
	as soon as possible.

As a result of this, security measures have been taken to prevent
further intrusions.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Deutsch Homeland, (Amsterdam)    April 12, 1902

German forces, officially freed from any obligation to the English,
poured across the Holland-Belgium border shouting cries of "Alex!
Alex!  Alex!".  Traditionally there has been little love lost between
the Germans and the Belgians, and tensions between the two countries
have increased in recent years.  A beaming Kaiser at a press
conference yesterday told reporters that he fully supports the English
plan to stabilize the French nation and that the invasion of Belgium,
the first step in this plan, should go smoothly as long as the
renegade French armies in the area don't cause a fuss.
===============================================================================

DRESDEN: Summer 1902
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
no retreats

PRESS:
AUSTRIAN NATIONAL HOLIDAY DECLARED
THE SIXTEENTH ANNUAL "NAPOLEON AT WATERLOO" AWARDS
RUMORS OF EMPRESS IEDA CONFIRMED
THE RETURN OF HELGA
GERMANS BREAK NEUTRALITY
CHIEF'S CHEF'S GOOSE COOKED!
POPE ANNOUNCES GLOBAL RELIEF PROGRAM
WALES AT PERIL FROM FRENCH FLEET

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hungarian Herald 			(June 26, 1902)

June 26 has been officially declared as an Austrian National
holiday.  It marks the birth of Lord Dan and the parlament has
proposed and passed a bill to declare it a national event.  Lord Dan
was quite suprised and embarassed about the whole affair.  "Who would
declare a national holiday to celebrate the birth of a leader who
can't even find his pen in order to sign those all important
documents.  At this time I would also like to personally thank the
people of Germany for their gift of 50 fine quality pens.  I shall do
my best to keep track of each and every one.  The people of Austria
also thank you as it will be in their best interest if I can sign
those things on time.  I would also like to send my regrets to the
Russians on their recent loss of their fleet in the Black Sea.  The
Austrian fleet is even more critical in this area than ever before.
We will attempt to counter any hostile maneuvers the Turks make
against either of our countries."
   The people of Austria seem to be very pleased with the way Lord Dan
is running the country and the latest polls show he has more public
support than any Austrian leader since Billy Joe McCallister in 1612.
They are happy that things are going well economically, and with our
neighboring countries.  The general feeling is that the people feel
safer than they have in years.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Swiss Star                                            June 6, 1902
  Last night at a gala event in the auditorium of the posh Swiss Arms
Hotel, the Swiss Academy of Military Affairs presented their annual
'Napoleon At Waterloo' awards for, ahem, exceptional performance of
national leaders in the fine art of war.
  This year, the 'I'll Bite Your Bloody Kneecaps Off!' award goes to
the leader of France for his valiant invasion of England in spite of
being simultaneously dismembered by three hostile neighbours.
  The 'Was It Something I Said?' award was given to the leader of
Germany for turning a friendly nudge to the Russians into a full-scale
invasion of Sweden.
  Finally the 'Why Didn't You Think of That Before We Left the House?'
award was received jointly by the leaders of Austria and Russia for
dumping on Turkey with a gajillion armies and only one fleet.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Swiss Star 						August, 1902
  The reports of our photographers, reporters, spies, and all-around
finks have confirmed the rumor that the unidentified man seen with
Empress Ieda in Switzerland was in fact none other than the President
of France.  The two have been having a secret but torrid love affair
for several years now, but it is said that the current situation
between Italy and France has been putting something of a strain on
their relationship.  Chin up, you two!  Remember, the world is
watching.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Deutsch Homeland 				July 3, 1902
  Helga, the controversial mother-in-law of our beloved Kaiser, made
news once again last week as she seized control of the 49th German
Marine Battalion and marched them north.  Before loyalist forces could
regain control of the battalion, she had managed to invade Sweden, and
was busy making plans to liberate her Norwegian hometown.
  Since then, the Kaiser has repeatedly stressed to reporters that he
has no intention of stealing any parts Scandinavia from their rightful
owners, the English, and that he will be ordering the withdrawl of all
troops back to Denmark.  Several military advisors have suggested that
it would be to England's advantage for the Germans to remain in Sweden
over the fall to quell pro-Russian sentiments there.  To this the
Kaiser replied "Be that as it may, it is not our decision to make.  If
King Edward would like us to take such a course of action, he should
send an admiral to Denmark to inform us of his decision.  We will
abide by it."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
IRP (Imperial Russian Press)                     June 1901
  While our troops are struggling in the holy war against the Turks,
the Germans are trying to sneak in through the back door and proceed
towards Poland. Now Germany is fighting a war on three fronts, France,
Russia and Scandinavia. While Russia is unable to stop them, we can
only hope that the other nations won't allow them to succeed.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Swiss Star					 Summer 1902:
  The king's chief chef was executed today.  He was tried and
sentenced for crimes against the state.  It has been rumored that he
served the court knockworst & sauerkraut on kaiser rolls.  In
response, the king barked out "Wieners, wieners, I'll give him
wieners!  We'll see how he likes an army in his back yard!  The Queen
of England wasn't very happy!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Naples News					 July 6, 1902.

The vatican has announced plans for what has been dubbed "Papal
Relief".  This will be a support team to help war ravaged areas of
Europe.  The current plan is to gather donations (1-900-the-pope,
$8.99/call), and send the relief team to eastern Europe.  It is
believed that the Russian states may separate from their current
rulership, leaving Russia with a fraction of it's former size.  The
fighting to occur is expected to be intense, and many would be left
homeless.  The relief team will bring medical supplies, food, and
temporary shelter for the homeless.  Meanwhile, other war torn areas
of the world will be monitored for future assignments.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cardiff, Wales					 July 22, 1902
  The surprise appearance of a fully armed French fleet in the Cardiff
harbor has the people of Wales anxiously awaiting what His Majesty
King Edward VII will order in retaliation.  The leader of the French
fleet, Admiral Embrasse Mon Derriere, said he invaded Wales because he
didn't receive the Cardigan sweaters he ordered from Sweaters-Are-Us.
Asked if he planned on visiting any other English territory, he said
that his personal soothsayer, Nostra Damus, had said that sixty years
from now a group called "The Beatles", playing a form of music unknown
to us today called "Rock and Roll", would lead a "British Invasion",
and that he was going to level and pilage their hometown so as to stop
this invasion of French soil before it occurs.  When pressed further
about where exactly this hometown is, Admiral Derriere just simled and
offered no comment.  Experts here in Cardiff think that Nostra Damus
is full of it, and that the Admiral is just trying to pull the wool
over our eyes, so to speak, and will leave just as soon as the
sweaters he ordered are delivered to his ship.  King Edward VII, after
reviewing the situation, has ordered his envoy to France to begin
negotiations immediately so as to get the Admiral his sweaters and get
the fleet out of English waters.  Rumors are that, since the French
were kind enough in the past not to invade London, and since the
French are being overrun by the Italians in their "Taste's Great vs
Less Filling" war, King Edward will propose that England will not
invade Brest, and instead will aid the French in recapturing part of
their homeland with support from the Channel.  There is no word from
the French as to whether this is indeed a proposal on the table or
not.  The King, has, however, issued a statement that should the
French fleet venture further into English territory, that retaliation
would be "swift and severe".  Meanwhile, on the Scandinavian front,
King Edward is delighted that the Russians have come to their senses
about the fate of both Norway and Sweden, and is willing to recall the
fleet from the Barents so as to leave StPete alone.  He has agreed
that the Barents and Finland shall be a neutral zone. However, the
intrusion of a German force into Sweden has the King none to happy,
and he has entered negotiations with the Germs to have their army
return to Denmark and to declare a peace along the Danish-Swedish
border so both sides can turn their attentions to the problem of
France (and, eventually, Italy).  Rumors are running rampant that
should the negotiations with the Germans break down, the King would be
more than willing to discuss with the Russians and the Italians the
possiblity of applying a little armed pressure from three sides to
"encourage" the Germans back to the barganing table.
===============================================================================

DRESDEN: Fall 1902
---England----------------------------------Germany----------------------------
A NWY - Swe             FAIL            |A SWE - Den            BOUNCE (Nts)
F BAR - Nwy             FAIL            |A Mun - BUR
F NTS - Den             BOUNCE (Swe)    |A RUH S (A Mun - Bur)
F Ech - BRE                             |A Pru - WAR
---France-------------------------------|F BEL H
A Spa - POR                             |---Austria----------------------------
A PAR H                                 |A GRE S (A Ser - Bul)
F Wal - LVP                             |A BUL - Con            BOUNCE (Bla)
---Italy--------------------------------|A SER - Bul            FAIL
A GAS - Par             FAIL            |A BUD H
A MAR S (F Wme - SpS)                   |F Ion - EME
F Wme - SPS                             |---Turkey-----------------------------
F Tus - GOL                             |A Smy - ARM
F Tys - WME                             |F Con - AEG
---Russia-------------------------------|F BLA - Con            BOUNCE (Bul)
A RUM S (A Sev H)                       |--------------------------------------
A STP H                                 |
A SEV S (A Rum H)                       |
F GoB - BAL                             |
-----------------------------------------

POSITIONS:
Austria: 5      A Gre Bul Ser Bud        F Eme
England: 4      A Nwy                    F Bar Nts Bre
France:  3      A Por Par                F Lvp
Germany: 5      A Swe Bur Ruh War        F Bel
Italy:   5      A Gas Mar                F SpS GoL Wme
Russia:  4      A Rum StP Sev            F Bal
Turkey:  3      A Arm                    F Aeg Bla

SUPPLY CENTERS:(New in caps, old in parens)
Austria: 6      Vie, Bud, Tri, Gre, Ser, BUL
England: 4      (Lvp), Lon, Edi, Nwy, BRE
France:  3      Par, (Bre), (Spa), POR, LVP
Germany: 8      Mun, Ber, Kie, Den, Hol, SWE, WAR, BEL
Italy:   6      Ven, Rom, Nap, Mar, Tun, SPA
Russia:  4      (War), Mos, StP, Sev, (Swe), RUM
Turkey:  3      Ank, Smy, Con, (Bul)

BUILDS:
Austria: 1
Germany: 3
Italy:   1

PRESS:
ROYAL PALACE REOPENED
RUSSIAN FLEET VISITS BALTIC
LORD DAN EXTENDS THANKS
SWISS STAR FILES LAWSUIT AGAINST THE SWISS STAR
IEDA MAKES STATE OF THE EMPIRE SPEECH
FRENCH EXPOSE BRITISH CITY AS FRAUD
FRENCH BOYCOTTING AWARDS CEREMONY

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ankara Daily News:  				(September 5, 1902)
  Thanks to contributions from around the world, the Royal Palace was
reopened here today by a beaming Sultan.  "Although I still think
Budapest would be a more appropriate place, the Palace will be more
than ready for the 1903 Christmas party" he stated.  Invitations to
the party have been sent to all world leaders, but as of this writing
only 3 world leaders had responded.  As expected, Lord Dan said he
would attend.  However, the Csar and the President of France will both
be unavailable at that time.  It is expected that the Kaiser, who made
a generous donation to the restoration, will be in attendance.
Unconfirmed reports say that the Sultan is very much looking forward
to meeting the Italian empress.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
IRP (Imperial Russian Press)                     September 1902
  The Russian fleet is currently visiting the Baltic Sea. It is said
that Russian diplomats are on board to visit the German Kaiser for
talks about German troup withdrawal from Poland.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hungarian Herald 				(October 17, 1902)
  In a press conference earlier today, Lord Dan has expressed his most
sincere thanks to the Princess and the people of Italy.  I am very
happy they understood our situation and were willing to delay their
own progress to allow our fleet to pass through the Ionian Sea.  Due
to the recent loss of the Russian fleet in the Black Sea, it has
become extremely urgent that we have a fleet of our own poised for
defense of this highly volitile area.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Swiss Star					 Fall 1902
  Swiss Star has filed a 3.2 billion dollar lawsuit against
"The Swiss Star".  The Star claims that by publishing under
that name their copyright and trademark on the name
'Swiss Star' has been infringed on.  The Star is claiming
1 billion for copyright infringement, 1 billion for trademark
infringement, 1.2 billion for damage to their reputation, and
$1.95 for lost subscriptions.  The judge is expected to rule
on an injunction preventing "The Swiss Star" from publishing
under that name while the trial is pending.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Naples News					Sept 7, 1902
  The following is an excerpt from the state of the empire
speech Ieda gave this fall:
    "First, I would like to thank all of you, the people who
  have made this possible"
  <<applause>>
    "This year has been good for the empire.  The entire
  Western Mediterranean is under one rule."
  <<applause>>
    "I must now turn my attention to the British Empire.
  They have managed to threaten every single one of their
  neighbors.  I will now read to you from their paper:

London Times, November, 1901: "His Majesty King Edward VII
    has contacted the leaders of both Germany and Italy to
    propose an alliance to quickly overthrow a troubled
    France and divide the territory."

Cardiff, Wales, July 22, 1902: "England will not invade
    Brest, and instead will aid the French."

"the King has entered negotiations with the Germs to
    declare a peace so both sides can turn their attentions
    to the problem of France (and, eventually, Italy)."

"should the negotiations with the Germans break down,
    the King would be more than willing to discuss with the
    Russians and the Italians the possibility of applying a
    little armed pressure to "encourage" the Germans".

"You don't have to take my word for it.  Read the paper!
  They have threatened to cut up a country they have never
  set foot on, and say in the same paragraph that they will
  help them instead.  I'll tell you the kind of help they'll
  give the French!
    They talk about cooperating with the Germans, and then
  detail how they will threaten them if they don't.  I
  certainly don't want my allies threatening me in that way.
    And look at us.  They say they will "eventually" deal
  with the Italian problem.  But later they ask for our
  help in their dealings with the Germans.

I'll tell you what I would do if that king were my son.
  I'd take him by the ear and wash his mouth out for talking
  like that.  No sir, I would not put up with that kind of
  double dealing in my family.  And I'm not going to put
  up with it in my friends either.

I want you all to know that I do not trust them, and
  have warned the other European countries as well.  They
  will have to show us that they can be trusted again.

But fear not, we do have allies that can be trusted,
  and the empire shall continue to grow."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Paris (or wherever we're going to have to move the capital to), France --
  The much-oppressed French government today announced that its navy
had discovered that the famed English city of Liverpool was neither a
pool nor made of liver.  Sources within Britain could not be reached
for comment on the fraud.
  When the British approached the French contingent and presumptuously
enquired as to what they were doing in England, they were told, "Mind
your own business, you English pig dogs."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Madrid, France						August 1902
  Although pleased to receive the "I'll Bite your Kneecaps Award", the
French President declined to attend the awards ceremony because of the
presence of contraversial British comedian, Winston Dice Claymore.
The President said he was shocked by the comedian's repeated
anti-French jokes.  Moreover, the President was busy preparing for the
1st Annual Festival of Lord Dan, which will take place in the Baleric
islands, just about the only place that the French have a chance of
holding by the time it rolls around.
===============================================================================

DRESDEN: Autumn 1902
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
no retreats

PRESS:
LORD DAN OFFERS ARBITRATION BETWEEN RUSSIA AND GERMANY
ANTI-GERMAN ALLIANCE FORMED
GERMAN'S PEN A DEAL
BUSINESS BOOMING IN NAPLES
APOLOGIES FROM THE KAISER
FRENCH NOT UNHAPPY WITH MOVE

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hungarian Herald    			        Oct. 30, 1902
   In a press conference today, Lord Dan has taken a neutral stance to
the Germans being in Poland.  "How can the Austrians take sides in an
action that is none of our business?  I consider both sides to be our
allies and wish that they would both tend to the matters at hand
rather than fighting one another.
   However, if I were to arbitrate, I would suggest that Russia be
given control of Warsaw, and forgo any interest in the Scandanivian
countries (which they have already conceded).  If Russia agreed to
help and Germany activated a couple of fleets this winter, they could
own both Norway and Sweden and put the English back on their island
where they belong.  England seems like it would pose more of a threat
to Germany than Russia at this time, as Russia has half it's troops
occupied helping us keep Turkey in line.
   If Germany were willing to go for this, it would really help to
keep the Turks from infiltrating the Russian and Austrian Empires.  I
feel that without the help of Russia in this matter, we will have our
hands quite full.
   Since Germany has had such a rapid growth recently and will be
activating more troops, I would like to repeat my request that fleets
be given a serious consideration.  If the Kaiser were to look at the
actions of England over the last year or two, he will realize who
needs to put in their place."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
IRP (Imperial Russian Press)                     Oktober 1902
  When the visit of Russian diplomats with a fleet in the Baltic was
answered by the Germans with massive troup mobilisations, the Czar
decided to ask all the worlds leaders for help against the threat of a
German world domination. Germany occupies a territory that is as big
as England and Russia together, so the threat seems very real.  The
Czar is waiting for proposals, especially by Empress Ieda of Italy and
the English King, how to end this threat. Meanwhile the Russian fleet
has to retreat once again, because it can't stand against the
overwhelming force of Germany.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Swiss Star 						Autumn 1902:
  The German consulate and the Turkish ombudsman were seen conferring
in the lobby of the Swissington Inn yesterday afternoon.  Arousing the
interest of nearby guests.  After talking with some of the guests, it
was pieced together that key pens in the recent collection given to
Lord Dan have been set to either not work, spill ink all over, or to
release a sleeping gas.  Following the reinforcement of the recent
invasion of Poland, the German forces will turn south, and attempt to
surprise the Austrians with a lightning invasion next fall.  When Lord
Dan attempts to counter, the pens should delay his orders long enough
to let the Germans complete their invasion, and the Turks will press
from the opposite side.  The two were later seen asking for the
Italian messenger.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Naples News						 Nov 8, 1902.
  The name of Frank Paducci was spotlighted again tonight.  He was
honored as the Naples businessman of the year.  At his acceptance
speech he praised the work of his loyal employees, and the efforts of
the Italian Naval forces.  Declaring that because of the unprece-
dented peace in the Mediteranian, his business has boomed.  In
response, he offered a 10% price reduction on all merchandise.  He
also stated that plans were underway to send a delegation to the gala
Christmas party being thrown at the Sultan's newly rebuilt palace.  He
announced that it was still too early to tell if the Empress herself
would attend.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Deutsch Homeland                                 December 26, 1902
(Berlin) In the wake of the memorable 1902 Christmas party held at the
Sultan's palace on the Black Sea coast, the Kaiser has hastily drafted
a statement apologizing for his conduct on the night of the 25th.
  First of all, the Kaiser would like to apologize to the Empress Ieda
of Italy.  He says he has no idea what caused him to dump 2 pounds of
live shellfish down the back of her gown, except that "he'd seen it in
a movie once and he thought it was a good idea at the time."
  He also feels apologies are due to the Sultan, for stealing his
prize camel 'Filbert' and joyriding along the beach shouting "Air
raid".  The Kaiser is unfamiliar with the particulars of camel
physiology, but it is his sincerest hope that camel hair grows back
quickly.
  The Kaiser also wishes to note that he is normally a temperate man
and restrained, and hopes that his conduct will not sour negotiations
with the Italian or Turkish empires.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
French High Command, Lisbon				November 1902
	The French were a bit tight-lipped about the status of their
wandering fleet in the British Isles, other than to say that it had
orders to "ravage, pillage, plunder, maim, and put big hickeys on all
the fair damsels."` Responding to the relocation of 2/3 of their
country's territory to lands foreign, the French merely shrugged and
commented that the change of scenery is "tres bien".
===============================================================================

DRESDEN: Winter 1902
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BUILDS:
Austria: 1	A Vie
Germany: 3	A Ber, A Kie, <declined>
Italy:   1      F Nap

POSITIONS:
Austria: 5      A Gre Bul Ser Bud          F Eme
England: 4      A Nwy                      F Bar Nts Bre
France:  3      A Por Par                  F Lvp
Germany: 7      A Swe Bur Ruh War Ber Kie  F Bel
Italy:   5      A Gas Mar                  F SpS GoL Wme Nap
Russia:  4      A Rum StP Sev              F Bal
Turkey:  3      A Arm                      F Aeg Bla

PRESS:
ITALY DECLARES WAR!
KAISER SUES SWISS STAR
AUSTRIANS UP IN ARMS

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Naples News, Dec 31, 1902.
  This Wednesday evening the Empress gave a small group of reporters
the text of the official document declaring that a state of war exists
between the Italian Empire and the ruling government of the nation of
England.
  The document describes the state of affairs between the two
countries as unrepairable.  It documents the lack of consistency in
the government, the failure to follow any sort of protocol in
negotiations, and the attempted aggression against nations while
proposals for peaceful solutions are underway.
  She spoke briefly afterward:
    "The Kaiser related to me that he was in conference with the
  English negotiators when word reached him that the army stationed in
  Sweden could not return as expected because the English had attempted
  to enter Denmark.  He said that if they had not attempted that under-
  handed move, they would be in possession of Sweden at this moment.
    It is for this reason, and others stated in this document that I
  must inform you that a state of war now exists between our empire
  and the English government.  It is my intent to place a more
  rational government there.
    It is my pleasure to announce that on this matter, the French
  President and I see eye to eye.  I have told Pierre that we would
  support his position in Paris for as long as necessary.  This
  matter with the English is of more importance.  When our own armada
  is in a position to coordinate efforts with his lone fleet against
  the English we will do so.  It is unfortunate that the fate of the
  men in Portugal is sealed;  that port is needed as a staging area
  for our own armada.
    I have asked the Kaiser to coordinate his men to press the
  English out of Norway.  It is my hope that this matter can be
  taken care of efficiently and quickly."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Deutsch Homeland                              January 5, 1903
  In the wake of some very personal attacks on the Kaiser by Swiss
Star last autumn, particularly on the subject of booby-trapped pens,
the Kaiser has decided to sue Swiss Star for emotional damages, an
action highly lauded by the staff of The Swiss Star.
  "Complete rubbish!", states the Kaiser's lawyer, Helmut Getemrich,
"He's been framed!  Those reporters are known Russian sympathisers and
agitators!  The reputation of our beloved leader has been besmirched!
Besides, he was buying toys for the orphans at the time!"
  The Kaiser, having disposed of Getemrich, reiterated his position
that he has absolutely no desire to go to war with Austria.  He does,
however laud the efforts of the Turks in their fight against Russian
opression, and looks forward to further Christmas parties at the
Sultan's palace as long as the fifty pink giraffes are removed from
the wine cellar next time.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hungarian Herald                                    (Jan 2, 1903)
  In Vienna today, the general populace was up in arms about the
possibility that the pens the Kaiser gave to Lord Dan being a "Trick".
Lord Dan had no comment other than, "You have to trust somebody
sometime, the tough part is knowing when to trust and when you are
being taken advantage of".  At this time, the First Vienna Guard has
been formed for home defense in the case that the Russian/German
conflict expands.  It is known that Lord Dan was against the idea of a
need for home defense at this time, but when the people volunteered to
do it at no cost to the government, he couldn't refuse their wishes.
===============================================================================

That's all from this game.

Cheers,
Lord Valentine

References

Diplomacy Zine --- The Lost Chapter
tedward@grimnir.cs.cornell.edu (Ted Fischer)
Tue, 29 May 1990 18:26:21 +0000