Diplomacy Zine --- The Lost Chapter

From: tedward@modi.cs.cornell.edu (Ted Fischer)

Date: Wed, 02 May 1990 16:55:50 +0000

Chapter Two of ELECTRONIC PROTOCOL:

This chapter contains results from DRAGONSLAYER, BISMARCK, COLD WAR,
and gunboat games JACAL, VERSAILLES, MANHATTAN, and DRESDEN.

Issue #149
===============================================================================
Results from Manhattan for 1904
===============================================================================

MANHATTAN: Spring 1904
---England----------------------------------Germany----------------------------
A Wal - YOR				|A Ber - KIE
F NTS - Nwy		BOUNCE (Swe)	|A HOL - Nwy		ILLEGAL
F DEN - Kie		FAIL		|A MUN S (A Ber - Kie)
F ECH - Nts		FAIL		|F Kie - BAL
F Edi - NWG				|---Austria----------------------------
---France-------------------------------|A Ser - RUM
A Por - SPA				|---Turkey-----------------------------
A Bur - PIC				|A GRE S (A Bul H)	CUT (Aeg)
A BEL S (A Bur - Pic)			|A Bul S (A Ser - Rum)	FAIL (Ret. ???)
F Mid - NAT				|F Con S (A Bul H)	FAIL (Disband)
F SpS - MID				|---Italy------------------------------
F BRE - Ech		FAIL		|A BOH S (A Gal H)
---Russia-------------------------------|A GAL S (A Bud H)	CUT (War)
A Rum - BUL				|A BUD S (A Gal H)
A WAR - Gal		FAIL (2:2)	|A VIE S (A Ven - Tri)
A Smy - CON				|A Ven - TRI
A ANK S (A Smy - Con)			|F Eme - AEG
A UKR S (A War - Gal)			|F ION S (F Eme - Aeg)
F Aeg - Gre		CUTS (Ret. ???)	|--------------------------------------
F SWE - Nwy		BOUNCE (Nts)	|
F BLA S (A Rum - Bul)			|
-----------------------------------------
Russian F Aeg can retreat to Smy.
Turkish A Bul can retreat to Ser.
Turkish F Con must disband.

POSITIONS:
Austria: 1	A Rum
England: 5	A Yor				F Nts Den Ech Nwg
France:  6      A Spa Pic Bel			F NAt Mid Bre
Germany: 4	A Kie Hol Mun			F Bal
Italy:   7	A Boh Gal Bud Vie Tri		F Aeg Ion
Russia:  8	A Bul War Con Ank Ukr		F ??? Swe Bla
Turkey:  2	A Gre ???

PRESS:
DAEMONS SHUT DOWN ITALIAN POST OFFICES
POPE REVEALED TO BE NON-ITALIAN!
ELVIS LEADS POPULAR REVOLT AGAINST BOGUS POPE
KING OF ROCK AND ROLL MAKES FIRST STATEMENT
ELVIS OFFERS HAND OF FRIENDSHIP TO RUSSIA
BELEAGURED POPE DENIES VALIDITY OF NEW MONARCHY
HOLLYWOOD BUYS THE MEMOIRS OF AHMED THE PEACEFUL FOR $5 MILLION
CZAR WELCOMES POPE AND CARDINAL LIZ BACK FROM VACATION
COOPERATIVE MANUEVERS SOUGHT BETWEEN GERMANY AND RUSSIA
ICELAND PROTECTS FISHING GROUNDS --- FRENCH OBJECT
EKITHUMPERS MISS AWARD PRESENTATION

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rome (AP) --- Catholic officials have been working around the clock
today all over Italy in an effort of exorcise a group of daemons that
have virtually shut down all mail service in the country. The problem
began a week ago as the Pope returned from his vacation, only to find
that key postal officials all over Italy had been possessed by evil
spirits from the fifth plane of Hell. "Well, boys, it's time to break
out the holy water and the crucifixes," the Pope told a crack team of
Vatican hellraisers, "this time it's war." By this time, most normal
mail services have been restored, but problems still linger in some of
the rural offices.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Venice (Reuters) --- In a shocking report today, officials at the
Venice Institute for Speech Analysis revealed conclusively that the
Italian King/Pope, Joe Bob I, is not from Sicily as he has previously
claimed, but instead from backwoods America! "We've really got him on
this one," chuckled Fred Linguini, head researcher at the institute,
"we can now show scientifically that the so-called Pope is nothing
more than an American impostor!" The results came after of seasons of
intensive work identifying the Pope's peculiar accent, finally
matching it to a rural dialect found only in the American state of
North Carolina. "Basically, he sounds like Jesse Helms," Linguini told
reporters, "there's no way he could be from Sicily." The reaction all
over Italy has been one of shock and rage as people begin to realize
the depth to which they had been duped. "You mean barbeque isn't
ITALIAN?" screamed premier chef Larry Lasagna, "I'm ruined!" The Pope
could not be reached for comment, although a spokesman denied the
validity of the report.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Naples (UPI) --- What began as a small party of discontent against the
current Italian government has grown over the weekend into a
full-blown revolt against the monarchy of Pope Joe Bob I, lead by none
other than the ubiquitous King of Rock and Roll, Elvis Presley!
Following on the heels of the revelation that Joe Bob is, in fact,
American rather than Italian, a small meeting of the Italian Popular
Front for Rock and Roll in Naples quickly snowballed into a large
demonstration under the leadership of native Italian rocker Presley.
Marching under the banner of "Presley: A *Real* Italian Leader", the
group has been riding a tidal wave of popular discontent and has
assumed almost complete control of the Italian state. With only Rome
as the the last holdout, Presley has temporarily assumed the title of
monarch and taken control of the armed forces in an attempt to quell
the resistance and set up a new government.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rome (AP) --- With last death throes of the monarchy of Pope Joe Bob I
over, the new King of Italy, Elvis Presley today made his first
official statement to the press. First complementing the bravery of
his fellow freedom-fighters, Presley then went on to criticise the
former king for his lack of scruples. "Well, uh, where I come from you
just don't lie to people like that," said Presley, "and I know that
I'd never do anything like that to the Italian people or my fans.
Thank you very much." When asked if there would be any formal change
in foreign policy, Elvis told reporters that "I think, uh, the former
course of events was, uh, detremental to Italy's health, and I think
we'll be seeing a number of changes this season. Thank you very much."
The King then donned his baby-blue sequinned cape and left the press
conference humming "Suspicious Minds" under his breath.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Venice (UPI) --- While inspecting the new Italian forces in Venice
today, King Presley announced his offer of a new truce with the
Russian forces and his hope for future cooperation between them.
"Well, uh, basically, I think that this whole Russian/Italian thing
has gone about as far as its going to go," Elvis told reporters. "If
we, uh, drag this out much longer we're probably both going to get our
butts kicked. So I'm saying 'let's get together'. Thank you very
much." When asked about the former king's promises to Austria and
Turkey to "keep them alive as long as possible", the King replied that
"if I thought, uh, it was really viable to keep them alive, I'd do it.
But at some point you gotta look out for number one and I can't let
them bring us down. Sorry, man, I wish there was some other way."
Elvis expressed some worries that the Russians might rebuff the
Italian offer, but felt confident that the Czar would see that "it
would be a lot easier to work with us than try to take us out alone."
When it was then pointed out that it was Italy who had backed out of
the previous agreement with Russia, Presley said that "the situation
was, uh, a little different then -- Russia was making threats and
looked like they were just going to roll over everyone. I think we can
now enter into a solid working relationship, although undoubtedly
there will be some mistrust at the start." Details of the exact plan
have yet to be worked out, but the Italians are tentatively proposing
to take Serbia and Greece, leaving Bulgaria and Constantinople to the
Russians as per the original agreement.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Vatican (AP) --- Speaking from the inner sanctum of his residence
in the Vatican, Pope Joe Bob I today made his first public statement
since the revelations a week ago that he is American. Denying the
reports vigorously, the Pope that his accent resulted from his
childhood tutor who, he claimed, was from America. "Hell, I've never
even been to America," the Pope swore, saying that the rebel leader,
Elvis Presley has stabbed him in the back. "Here I go looking for him,
and what does he do? He takes over!" the Pope shouted almost
incoherently. Screaming "Presley must die!" over and over, the Pope
was quickly dragged from the room by Vatican officials who
administered him a sedative and put him to bed. "Times have been
pretty rough around here." Cardinal Wendy told reporters.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
CONSTANTINOPLE (AP) --- Ibdrahim the Wise today announced that he is
selling "My Military Successes -- The Memoirs of Ahmed the Peaceful"
for $5,000,000 to some unnamed Hollywood studio. When asked why he
sells the memoirs, the Grand Vizier said, "I think that the film they
are going to make from the book will be much funnier than Keystone
Kops. Besides, Turkish armed forces will need the money."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Moscow (PRAVDA) --- "Welcome back from vacation," said the Czar in a
telegram to Pope Joe Bob.  "If I knew that you shared my love of the
Caribbean, I would have tried harder to work with you from the minute
you took control of Italy!  Anyone who makes a winter pilgrimage to
the Islands is OK in my book.  Personally, it's my favorite spot to
spend New Year's (which I've done on about 5 different islands).  By
the way, please extend my best wishes to the now-tan Cardinal Liz.
Now ... moving on to current events in Europe ... is this war between
us really necessary?  Sure, we both know you'd like to conquer Russia
and then move on to take all of Europe by yourself.  BUT IT'S JUST NOT
GOING TO HAPPEN.  Even if you're successful in taking over northern
Russia without Italy falling under attack from the west, it would
still take many, many years to rout the defense of Turkey.  Think for
a moment of what the world would look like at that time ... the
enormous expanse of Italian-controlled lands.  Do you really think the
dominant power or powers in western Europe will sit back idly and
permit you to make the final conquests that will give you more than
half the "world"?  Of course not.  The path you're pursuing will at
worst not succeed directly, and at best will FORCE the western
power(s) to ally with me.  Wouldn't both our futures be brighter if we
work together?  It certainly seems that way to me.  Decide on terms
for alliance that you think are reasonable for both of us.  Then make
an offer.  If your terms are not unreasonable or one-sided you can
count on my acceptance and we can start working together THIS FALL.
Meanwhile I wish you and Cardinal Liz (and Cardinal Wendy, too) an
enjoyable springtime back in "Italy"."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
St. Petersburg (AP) --- In a speech yesterday the Czar gratefully
acknowledged the withdrawal of the German army from Silesia, and added
his hopes that this would begin an era of friendship between our two
great nations.  Even moreso, he proclaimed his desire for cooperative
military manuevers between Germany and Russia in Scandinavia and its
surrounding waters.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reykjavik (INS) --- Tension in the fertile fishing waters off of
Iceland was high today as Icelandic frigates moved in to cut away
fishing nets of a visiting French commercial flotilla.  They did this
in spite of the fact that the planned 200-mile limit is not due to be
enacted until 1975.  After the first net was cut away, crewmen aboard
the Icelandic frigates spotted smoke on the horizon, and soon after
noticed splashes near their vessels approximately the size that a
14-inch shell would produce.  The Icelandic fleet returned to port for
a "scheduled long-term refit".
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
M62 (Soleil) --- Interviewed whilest on-route to Humberside that
Commander of the 3rd Light Ekithumpers expressed his "pleasure and
delight" at receiving such an award from the 7th Annual Nurenburg
Human-Rights Festival. "Its just a shame that we weren't able to pick
it up in person, but the ferry service to the continent is rather
unreliable at the moment. We've been trying very hard for many years
for just such an award, the men are very happy, and we hope to be
getting similar commendations in the near future."
==============================================================================

MANHATTAN: Summer 1904
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
RETREATS:
Turkey:		A Bul - Ser
Russia:		F Aeg - Smy

POSITIONS
Austria: 1	A Rum
England: 5	A Yor				F Nts Den Ech Nwg
France:  6      A Spa Pic Bel			F NAt Mid Bre
Germany: 4	A Kie Hol Mun			F Bal
Italy:   7	A Boh Gal Bud Vie Tri		F Aeg Ion
Russia:  8	A Bul War Con Ank Ukr		F Smy Swe Bla
Turkey:  2	A Gre Ser

PRESS:
PRIME MINISTER WARNS GERMANS OF IMPENDING INVASION
PRESLEY PROMISES TO KEEP SUPPORT
RUSSIAN CONFLICT OVER SAYS GERMAN AMBASSADOR
NEGOTIATIONS CONTINUE BETWEEN RUSSIA AND ITALY
"BALTIC FLEET TO DENMARK, PLEASE" REQUESTS THE CZAR

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Foreign Office (Soleil) --- Mr Kaiser, Old Bean, you can't have failed
to notice that both Austria and Turkey are going to be completely
conquered very soon; possibly this winter with Italy taking Serbia and
Greece (see press) and Russia taking Rumania. This gives Italy the
capability to produce two more forces, and Russia likewise. With all
resistance annihilated in the south, and with an alliance involving
Italy, where next to go for *both* partiers but Germany. You must
limit the Russia expansion before too many armies are mounted on your
borders. Also note, that unless the Russians support you into Denmark
(and why should they) you will not re-capture it. Hence I must suggest
that you solve two problems with one move; namely support my Danish
fleet into Sweden from the Baltic Sea, our fleet in the North Sea
defending Norway. That way Russia looses, England stays the same and
France stays the same - giving you the added benefit that the English
home defence can hold off the French barbarians for longer. Surely
this all makes sense for your future in a difficult and war-torn
Europe. Sincerly, the PM.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[ Italian correspondant's note: due to the heavy fighting between the
forces of Pope Joe Bob I and King Elvis, very little press has made it
out of the country at this time. More will be forthcoming this fall.]

Outside Rome (UPI) --- Taking a break from his busy schedule of
managing the battle against the forces of Pope Joe Bob I, self-
proclaimed King Presley I today told reporters that he was firm in his
promise to pursue peace with Russia. "Well, uh, despite the fact that
the Balkans ended up looking like a Three Stooges episode," the King
said, "I'm sticking to my guns with this Russian offer." Even though
the unforseen events presented a tempting offer for further attacks on
Russia, Elvis said that what Italy really needed was "a substantial
ally -- sorry Turkey and Austria-Serbia." He further added that the
current terms of the Italian agreement would be the return of Rumania
to Russia and the control of Serbia and Greece by the Italians.
"Personally, I think the terms aren't all that bad, and that we can
work together real well." the Pope said, adding "If this goes through,
I think we can begin negotiating some troop withdrawls from sensitive
areas like Galicia and talk about the future. Thank you very much."
Russia has still provided no answer to the offer.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Berlin (AP) --- The Kaiser announced the beginning of a new era of
Russo-German cooperation.  In view of the fact that both nation's
interests in the Scandinavian sphere involve the dismemberment of
British protectorates in the area, he has requested Russian military
aid for the planned liberation of Denmark in the Fall by the landwehr.
The Kaiser expressed hopes of future cooperation between the two
nations, as well.  He also indicated his intention to use any supplies
gained from the offensive to construct additional warships to join the
French blockade of England.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Berlin (UPI) --- The German government declined to recognize the rebel
government of Monsignor Presley, formed earlier this Spring.  The
Kaiser expressed his full support for Pope Joe Bob I, and referred to
the possibility of an Italian rock and roll singer leading Italy to
greatness as being about as likely as an Austrian painter taking over
Germany.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Telegram from royal palace in Serbia (AP) --- Well, it seems that
Italy and Russia are cooperating again which means that Turkey and
Austria will be destroyed soon.  I have secretly transferred all
Turkish assets to Cairo and I am following them soon. Bye, bye.
--Ibdrahim the Wize, Grand Vizier (retired)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Moscow (PRAVDA) --- "Just who's in charge there?" the Czar asked in a
telegram to Cardinal Wendy.  "This Elvis guy has made some real
friendly overtures.  But how do I know he's the one to deal with?  I
hope this situation gets cleared up during the Fall.  Let's talk about
a partnership between Italy and Russia, shall we.  The suggestion I
received from Elvis talked about <leaving Bulgaria and Constantinople
to the Russians as per the original agreement>.  As I remember the
original agreement, the Russian border extended to include Budapest
and Greece.  This new suggestion is a major change from that.  While I
can understand it's necessity in the short term to help expand the
Italian forces, in the long run Italy has a lot of room for westward
expansion that Russia doesn't.  I think Greece should be considered a
Russian territory that will be temporarily occupied by Italy for our
mutual benefit.  The return to Russia at a later date can be planned
in a non-threatening way, such as by a lone, unsupported army or
fleet.  I would also like to suggest some key buffer areas between
Italy and Russia -- Galicia, the Aegean Sea, and the Eastern
Mediterranean Sea.  I promise not to attempt to move into those areas
this Fall, and then to stay out of them as long as Italy does.  But
before vacating Galicia I'd like to request a favor -- support my
efforts from Ukraine to Rumania this Fall.  The assistance would be
appreciated and we would then be able to totally disengage our forces
from each other."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Moscow (PRAVDA) --- Responding to the Kaiser's request for cooperation
the Czar said "If the attack on Denmark comes from the Baltic rather
than Kiel, we would look upon that as a substantial gesture of
friendship from Germany."
===============================================================================

MANHATTAN: Fall 1904
		!!!!!!!!AUSTRIA AND TURKEY FALL TOGETHER!!!!!!!!
---England----------------------------------Germany----------------------------
A Yor - LVP				|A KIE S (F Bal - Den)
F Nts - NWY				|A HOL S FRE (A Bel H)
F Den - Swe		FAIL (Ret. ???)	|A MUN H
F Ech - WAL				|F Bal - DEN
F Nwg - BAR				|---Austria----------------------------
---France-------------------------------|A Rum - Sev		FAIL (Disbands)
A Spa - CLY				|---Turkey-----------------------------
A PIC S (A Bel H)			|A Gre S (A Ser H)	FAIL (Disbands)
A BEL S GER (A Hol H)			|A Ser S (A Rum H) 	FAIL (Disbands)
F NAT C (A Spa - Cly)			|---Italy------------------------------
F MID C (A Spa - Cly)			|A BOH - Tyl		BOUNCE (Vie)
F Bre - ECH				|A Gal - BUD
---Russia-------------------------------|A Bud - SER
A BUL S (A Ukr - Rum)			|A VIE - Tyl		BOUNCE (Boh)
A War - LVN				|A TRI S (A Bud - Ser)
A CON S (A Bul H)			|F Aeg - GRE
A ANK - Sev		BOUNCE (Rum)	|F ION S (F Aeg - Gre)
A Ukr - RUM				|--------------------------------------
F SMY rapes and pillages		|
F SWE S GER (F Bal - Den)		|
F BLA C (A Ank - Sev)			|
-----------------------------------------
English F Den can retreat to Nts, Hel, Ska, or it may disband.
Austrian A Rum cannot retreat to a supply center, and so must disband.
Both Turkish armies must disband for the same reason.

POSITIONS:
Austria: 0	ELIMINATED
England: 5	A Lvp				F Nwy ??? Wal Bar
France:  6      A Cly Pic Bel			F NAt Mid Ech
Germany: 4	A Kie Hol Mun			F Den
Italy:   7	A Boh Bud Ser Vie Tri		F Gre Ion
Russia:  8	A Bul Lvn Con Ank Rum		F Smy Swe Bla
Turkey:  0	ELIMINATED

SUPPLY CENTERS:(New in caps, old in parens)
Austria: 0	(Ser)
England: 4	Lvp, Edi, Lon, Nwy, (Den)
France:  6	Mar, Par, Bre, Spa, Por, Bel
Germany: 5	Ber, Mun, Kie, Hol, DEN
Italy:   9	Ven, Rom, Nap, Tun, Vie, Tri, Bud, SER, GRE
Russia:  10	War, Mos, Sev, StP, Rum, Swe, Ank, Smy, BUL, CON
Turkey:  0	(Con), (Bul), (Gre)

BUILDS:
England: -1
Germany:  1
Italy:    2
Russia:   2

PRESS:
IS AN ENGLISH/FRENCH/ITALIAN PARTNERSHIP ON THE HORIZON?
IBDRAHIM THE WIZE MOVES FROM SERBIA TO CAIRO
ABDUL ALHAZRED MOVES FROM GREECE TO CAIRO
RUSSIAN PRESS CONFERENCE CANCELLED
GERMAN FLEET RECEIVES RUSSIAN ESCORT
REMNANTS OF PAPAL FORCES HOLD OUT AGAINST VANGELIS
PRESLEY HOPES TO CEMENT PACT WITH RUSSIA
ITALIAN MONARCHY LASHES BACK AT GERMANY
ELVIS PLANS NEW TOUR IN FRANCE

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Zurich (AP) --- Is an English/French/Italian Partnership on the
Horizon?  --- That's the question being asked around Zurich after the
Italian ambassador was overheard looking for an alternative to the
partnership with Russia.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Moscow (Pravda) --- The Czar was scheduled to hold a press conference
this morning, but cancelled to direct preparations for the Autumn
Vodka Celebration, which has now been re-instituted.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
St. Petersburg (Pravda) --- The Commander of the Armed Forces, while
visiting the naval facilities in St. Petersburg, ordered the Swedish
fleet to support Germany's efforts to liberate Denmark.  He suggested
to the Kaiser that a neutral zone be established in both the Baltic
Sea and the Skagerrak, along with a mutual non-aggression treaty
between Denmark and Sweden.  He expressed the hope that the Kaiser
would provide an expedient answer so that the fleet under construction
in St. Petersburg could be launched from the North Coast with
confidence.  He also ordered the Polish army to pull back into Livonia
as an added gesture of good will.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Vatican (UPI) --- Despite weeks of heavy fighting, the forces of
Pope Joe Bob I continue to hold out against the rebel army of King
Elvis Presley I. Turning to ever-increasing threats, the Pope has
established a "Line of Excommunication" around the Vatican and has
announced that he will kick any person stepping over the line out of
the church. This move has temporarily stymied Presley, although his
troops have resorted to blasting light music at the Vatican through
large loudspeakers around the clock. "We give 'em, ah, about three
hours of Windham Hill--" said one captain, "and that should be enough
to make any man beg for mercy."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Outside Rome (AP) --- Depending on how the season's movements go, King
Presley told reporters yesterday, he hopes to have a solid agreement
settled with Russia by the end of the year. "Well, uh, there really
isn't all that much left to say," Presley said, "We, uh, basically
have agreed to eventual Russian control of Greece and would be more
than happy to pull out our forces from neutral areas. Thank you very
much." Presley expressed regret that the Galician force was not
available for assistance, but felt that the Russians didn't need the
help in this case anyway. "My only concerns," the King told reporters,
"are those my, uh, predecessor expressed: the number and placement of
Russian forces." Secretary of State Priscilla later presented a
proposal sent to the Czar, requesting that both powers negotiate a
withdrawal of units from the Balkan area, saying that "if this season
went well, this shouldn't be a problem."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Outside Rome (Reuters) --- King Presley today strongly denounced
Germany's denouncement of his new monarchy. "Well, uh, y'know, it
wasn't very nice, and I don't take very kindly to it." the King said
angrily, adding "they're probably just jealous because none of their
composers could compose anything like 'Heartbreak Hotel'." Elvis then
announced that he would be going back to the studio to record a new
record entitled "You Ain't Nothing But a Hound Dog, Kaiser" unless the
German government recognized his government soon.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Vienna (AP) --- While visiting Vienna today, Elvis announced that he
would be once again be going on tour next year, visiting all points in
"Greater Italy" as well as a few goodwill stops in French cities.
Tentatively named "Elvis: The Back-From-The-Dead Tour", Presley told
reporters that he hoped it would help bring greater unity to Italy's
diverse people and a better friendship with the French nation. "I, uh,
think that music is something to bring everyone together. Thank you
very much." the King said as he was ushered into his new blue suede
limo. Tour officials said that due to French concerns, Elvis would be
traveling with only a small retinue of road crew to guarentee that no
unpleasant incidents would occur. "Basically, we're not interested in
starting a war here," tour promoter Frank Calzone said at the meeting,
"we're interested in a better friendship with the French nation."
===============================================================================

MANHATTAN: Autumn 1904
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
RETREATS
England F Den - Ska

POSITIONS
England: 5	A Lvp				F Nwy Ska Wal Bar
France:  6      A Cly Pic Bel			F NAt Mid Ech
Germany: 4	A Kie Hol Mun			F Den
Italy:   7	A Boh Bud Ser Vie Tri		F Gre Ion
Russia:  8	A Bul Lvn Con Ank Rum		F Smy Swe Bla

PRESS:
THE LATEST RUMOR: RUSSO-FRANCO-GERMAN COOPERATION AGAINST ITALY
BALTIC SEA OPEN FOR PLEASURE BOATING
GERMANS REJECT ROCK KING
CZAR PERPLEXED

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Zurich (AP) --- A meeting of the ambassadors of Russia, France, and
Germany has been reported in Zurich.  The ambassadors discussed a
joint alliance to end the chaos in Italy and punish the Italians for
keeping the world in a prolonged state of confusion.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Copenhagen (AP) --- After the highly successful joint Russo-German
maneuvers in Denmark, the leaders of the two nations agreed to
establish the Baltic as a demilitarized lake.  A German spokesman also
expressed the government's desire for a continued understanding
between the two nations.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Berlin (UPI) --- The Kaiser, while continuing to support the temporal
power of Pope Joe Bob I in Italy, was forced by public opinion to
tacitly recognize the de facto rulership of Elvis Presley.  German
diplomats sought to establish relations with the new regime.  Sources
indicate that friendly relations would require that the Pope be
permitted continued dominion over the Vatican.  The Kaiser was
reported to privately state that "the state cannot abandon the man who
brought genuine (?) Italian barbecue to Germany."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Moscow (Pravda) --- "I don't get it," said a perplexed Czar to the
Commander of the Armed Forces.  "Just when it looks like Elvis has
taken complete control of Italy, new rumors surface about forces loyal
to the Pope."  "Yes.  But look at the evidence," answered the
Commander.  "The Italian forces HAVE pulled back from all three buffer
areas we suggested.  That leads me to believe Elvis is now in charge."
"True.  Very true," said the Czar.  "It's just that if he had complete
control the Viennese army would have started its march to Marseilles
last Fall.  Well, I suppose there might be some good domestic reason
for the delay.  Let's get on with the disengagement of forces,
particularly in the Balkans.  Go cautiously as long as Pope Joe Bob is
still around.  You can pull back quickly once you've got confirmation
of his execution."
===============================================================================

MANHATTAN: Winter 1904
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
BUILDS:
England: -1	(A Lvp)
Germany:  1	A Ber
Italy:    2	A Ven, F Nap
Russia:   2	F StN (Russia declined its second build)

FINAL POSITIONS:
England: 4					F Nwy Ska Wal Bar
France:  6      A Cly Pic Bel			F NAt Mid Ech
Germany: 5	A Kie Hol Mun Ber		F Den
Italy:   9	A Boh Bud Ser Vie Tri Ven	F Gre Ion Nap
Russia:  9	A Bul Lvn Con Ank Rum		F Smy Swe Bla StN

PRESS:
MESSAGE TO GERMANY:  ATTACK FRANCE'S BELLY WHILE YOU STILL CAN
KING PRESLEY RESPONDS TO CHARGES OF CONFUSION
POPE CAPTURED AT LAST
PRESLEY TO CZAR: LETS CUT THE BULL
ITALY OFFERS FRIENDSHIP TO FRANCE
READY ... SET ... WITHDRAW!"
RUSSIAN COMMANDER REQUESTS GERMAN HELP
RUSSIA DISBANDS NEW POLISH ARMY

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Zurich (Soleil) --- The English ambassador was overheard saying to the
German ambassador: Fools!  That's who is ruling your homeland.  A
bunch of fools!  While you sit by idly France is about to totally
conquer England.  Where will you be then?  Strike at her belly while
you still have a chance!!!  Outside Rome (AP) --- Responding to recent
charges that he has been keeping the countries of Europe in a
prolonged "state of confusion", King Presley today called the charges
"misplaced". In a private conversation, Presley said that it was the
powers of Western Europe who were causing the problems with their game
of "Musical Alliances".  "We're kinda on our own on this one," the
King said with alliteration, "so we're playing it by ear. Give us a
break!" New Secretary for Foreign Policy James Brown later told
reporters that he "felt good" about the situation and thought that it
all would work out in the end.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rome (UPI) --- After years of heavy fighting, the government of Pope
Joe Bob I finally fell today as the Vatican was stormed by the forces
of the newly legitimated King Presley. Amidst great revelry, the Pope
was taken into Italian custody and placed in a specially built prison
for political prisoners outside Rome. In his first speech from the
royal palace on the Palatine hill, King Presley said that, in the
spirit of forgiving your enemies, he is not planning to execute the
deposed monarch, but rather keep him locked up. "Well, uh, you know,
where I come from, you just don't kill people, so we're just gonna
keep him in the jailhouse for a longer while. Thank you very much."
the King told reporters. It is expected that after a short period of
stabilization, the monarchy will once again be back in full swing.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Vatican (Reuters) --- While in the process of moving the royal offices
from the Vatican to the new palace today, King Presley took some time
to talk candidly to reporters about the latest word from Russia.
"Well, I think it's real great that they're gonna pull some forces out
of the Balkans," the King said, stuffing papers into a shredder, "but
I just don't know what the Czar's thinking about this France thing."
Saying that he wished to speak frankly about the matter, Presley said
that he thought it would be a "mistake" to attempt any attack on
France at this point. "First thing is, it'd be difficult to make any
real gains alone," the King continued, erasing piles of computer
disks, "as the French forces could easily stall us, and with Germany
sitting on the fence post it doesn't look like there's much of a
chance at the moment." He then paused and added, "And I don't want to
seem paranoid or anything, but I'm not real hot on sending all my
forces west, leaving the eastern border sparsely defended. Call me
stupid, but there have been enough changes in alliances that I think
it wouldn't be prudent at this juncture to withdraw completely without
some assurance of Russian compliance."  When then asked just where the
hell his forces were going, the King replied that he had no idea.
"We're not going back into Russia -- that'll just bog down again.
Basically, I'd say that there really is only one place to go after
that, and frankly a Russo-German-Italian alliance doesn't seem too
stable, does it? After Scandanavia, I really don't see much of
anything for Russia--except Italy or Germany."  Presley then called on
the Czar to make clear his position on the future of Europe and said
that he was still waiting to read the season's missives before
completely committing to *any* course.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rome (UPI) --- Elaborating on his comments earlier this week
concerning France, King Presley today made a public offer of
friendship to France, saying that he feels that both countries "stand
to gain a lot from friendship with each other." Pointing out that it
would be difficult for each country to attack each other effectively
and commenting on the fact that Germany now finds its eastern border
temporarily calm with surplus armies, the King said that he would be
happy to work together with the French in any joint military actions
in the future. "Well, since no one else has made much of an offer yet,
I thought I might as well be the one," Presley was quoted as saying.
When asked about the fleet being built in Naples, Presley told the
press that it was purely a defensive build to help "protect the home
front in case of military crisis."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Moscow (Pravda) --- The Czar said to King Presley of Italy by telegram
that, "We are concerned that the Pope's forces have not been entirely
subdued, and anxiously await your word that the Pope and all his top
commanders have been executed.  In the meantime, however, it seems
that you have at least the eastern Italian forces firmly under your
control.  Therefore, Russia is planning to begin the disengagement of
our forces from yours by withdrawing them from border regions, slowly
at first, and more aggressively once mutual trust can advance between
our two great nations."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sweden (AP) --- "Now that I've helped you into Denmark (even though
the help turned out to be unnecessary), how about returning the favor
and helping me hold my fleet in Sweden?" asked the Commander of the
Armed Forces of Russia in a communique.  "Of course, if England
disbands either of his adjacent fleets the request is withdrawn.  By
the way, I have also been authorized to provide you any possible
future support for action west and south of Norway."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Warsaw (AP) --- The Russian ambassador to Switzerland revealed that
the new army under training in Poland was disbanded because "we did
not want to cause undue concern about our intentions to either of our
friendly neighbors, Germany or Italy."
===============================================================================

That's all from this game.

Cheers!
Lord Valentine

References

Diplomacy Zine --- The Lost Chapter
tedward@modi.cs.cornell.edu (Ted Fischer)
Wed, 02 May 1990 16:54:37 +0000