Realms of the Arcane. From: Mike Barlow <Rondor@Talweb.com> Date: Sun, 16 Apr 2000 00:00:00 +0000 Visit Realms of the Arcane today and get your feet wet.. http://www.talweb.com/rondor/index.html Realms of the Arcane Times for Turn April, Year 3 ======================================================= Signed Articles ======================================================= Guardian Angel (21) writes: ************* The Bastak Herald ****************** FAIL SPLEEN!!! Crouds gathered in support of the Anti-Spleen coalition in Sinan today as the announcement of the first bounty payment was made. The Draconians with a confirmed total of 31 will recive 155 SILV. **Ship schedules** Ship Departing Arriving Ninha Carhue 03Dec Sinan 04Oct Pinta Southern Mountains 03Jun Forest Isle 03Aug Forest Isle 03Aug Arezzo 03Oct Irmanja Southern Mountains 03Jul Forest Isle 03Sep Forest Isle 03Sep Arezzo 03Nov Arezzo 03Nov Forest Isle 04Feb ***PUBLIC NOTICE**** The following Ships are under the protection of the Bastak Empire and should not be molested or hindered in any way: + Princesa de los vientos [104] : Longboat. + Sirena [108] : Longboat. + Ninha [132] : Longboat. + Pinta [133] : Longboat. + Manticore [134] : Longboat. + Irmanja [138] : Clipper. + Santa Maria [139] : Longboat. + 7o de Setembro [154] : Galleon. + Chimera [156] : Galleon. + Lechon panzudo [160] : Galleon. + Nova Iguacu [170] : Galleon. If you wish to come to Bastek please contact one of our embassys, to obtain a Visa, and be sure to stop on the way in at Customs and Emigration to register. Our Minister of Internal Security does not take kindly to smugglers. For information, Contact: carioca@stratos.net ******************** ------------------------------------------------ Dark Angels (25) writes: Imperial Holidays and Events to be Observed in the Month of Aprch Year 3. Pegasus Day. Observed April 29th. This holiday is to celevrate the Discovery of the Legendary Winged Horses in the Empire. Tax Day April 15th. All outstanding Taxes for year 2 will be collected on this day. Extension can be applied for with the Imperial Taxation Office. The Fourth of Twelve Liberation Days Observed on the 14th. In the News. Pegasai Discovered Near Haikou. The Emperor is truly benevolent as a Herd of the Legendary Winged Horses was discovered near the Imperial Provincial Capital of Haikou. Bishop Martin and Master Horse Trainer Khaless intend to have a shrine dedicated to the Emperor and the magnificent animals in the Abrantes Cathedral. Here is the story in Master Khaless' own words. "I came to Haikou to resupply and to find new leads to chase down in my search for the elusive creature. I will admit I stumbled across them as I moved North. I've never heard of them living this close to civilation before. The leader, a great stallion, led the herd off as I approched but I have no doubt that with the help of the Emperor I will gain the leader's trust and then the magnificent animals will serve the Empire in honored fashion." In other news Dwarf Mining Engineers on the Northern Frontier have discovered two veins of Mithril. Gloin chief engineer claims that test run on the ore show it to be 98% pure. Bounty Clairification The Bounty is open to anyone who kills dominion Troops. Azthar if you want to slaughter your allies troops I'll pay you the bounty. If your allies want to slaughter your troops I'll pay them the Bounty. It saves me the trouble of Slaughtering you and your mongrels. I thought 5 Silver was too much for worthless dogs such as yourselves and your allies but the Emperor declared that the bounty shall be 5. I am his loyal servant afterall. The Bonus for identifing as yet unknown dominion factions will be 100 Silver. The Bonus Covers the Following Factions 193 194 Spleenish Inquistion including the so called beast. To Collect the Bounty you can contact Dark Angels Faction 25 Lordtharin@aol.com or Guardian Angel Faction 21 Carioca@stratos.net To Collect the Bounty you must provide the following information 1: A Confirmed Battle Report 2: If Defeated the Hex number, Terrain Type and Province where the Battle Occured 3: If Victorious the Hex Info where the Battle Occured ------------------------------------------------ SLO-IM (32) writes: The young mage hurriedly gathers his belongs and prepared for his journey. Word had come from his benefactors that he was needed in a far-away land. He wasn't sure which spells might be needed there, so he brought everything that he could reasonably carry on such short notice. Hopefully, he would survive the trip... ------------------------------------------------ Draconians (37) writes: As Winter draws near we shall see if another season passes before the final assault. Our defenses are strong and allies are afoot but a strike before the winter snows could spell disaster. We shall have to wait and see... Memoirs of Sabin Vestre Draco March 23, 03 ------------------------------------------------ Aries Wave (45) writes: He read the letter that the pigeon had brought few minutes ago. Although the words were different of those writtten in another letter he had received from a first pigeon, the subject was the same. The time to act had arrived. He wrote two letter and set the pigeons free with them so that they could travel to their owners. In the meantime he ordered the men to prepare to travel. When he moved outside his barrack the soldiers were waiting, organized in ranks according the different platoons. No speach was necessary. They all knew what they were going to face. The small garrison began to move in direction of the mountains. They knew the enemy was awaiting for them. No matter the surpise effect they were going to defeat them or die. Victor Sousa Aries Wave, 45 TCS Speaker ------------------------------------------------ House Arkonides (120) writes: After eighteen months of sailing, immobility, starving and finally a mutiny, we have finally landed. It is not the expected eden but lands... As soon as we landed, we noticed that wild beasts salivated with the idea of the meal which we could represent. Only an optic effect had with our broad clothing, after so many months of deprivations there remain of us only bones to be gnawed and bushy beards. They will be disappointed. Arkus ------------------------------------------------ Evil Empire (141) writes: Erisort Inquirer Police Briefs Erisort's Chief of Police announced today that no crimes have occurred in Erisort in the last week. "We got all the criminals locked up now", he said to a group of reporters. The Chief was referring to last month's massive arrest of ESCA violators. When asked when a list of those arrested would be available the Chief replied, "We are still checking that list. We wouldn't want to make any mistakes. You should get the list any day now." At the moment, nearly 10% of Erisort's population is officially missing. In other news, the Mayor of Erisort has made the Erisort Silver and Currency Act a capital crime. The new law is retroactive. Executions may begin as soon as next week. ------------------------------------------------ Servants of the Grand Master (153) writes: Grand Master Kai Liao Personal Journal April, Year 3 There is cause for rejoicing this month! In late January, a group of sandlings were discovered on our land. In March, our brave warriors hunted down and annihilated the sandlings, recovering silver and raw materials. However, among the jubilation of our first military victory, there is sadness. Four of our men were killed in the assault. This is most unfortunate and I have sent a message written by my own hand to the widows of these brave men who gave their lives so that we may be safe. The survivors of the assault have been given a furlough and will retire the land of their kinfolk, hoping to recruit replacements and have a little rest. Meantime, production continues unabated. Stone, iron, and wood are among the greatest amounts being produced. Starting next month, we hope to begin training 2 Master Scouts, who will be sent to the east to scout out the possibility of new lands, as promised to us by the Empire. Hopefully, they will be ready to go by year's end. May the Light continue to shine on us and may it protect the widows of the men who died in combat. ------------------------------------------------ Thoradin (172) writes: Oh A Farmers Life is the Life for Me, Falee Falee. A Farmers Life is the Life for Me, Faleigh Faleing. A Farmers Life is Carefree you See, Falee, I'm shoveling Horseshit Every Day, Faleigh! ------------------------------------------------ Vossaen (180) writes: Finally the scouts of the Confederation sent into the mountains of Menter have managed to locate the last remains of the Iarrascurathari tribe. Reports show that they are trapped in deep mountain gorges and have lost all possibilities for escape. It is time the Iarrascurathari must pay for the Corwen massacre and the rape and pillage in the North by following the path of their accomplice, the Shaeltalan. Vos, the Konung of Vossaen ------------------------------------------------ Sisters of Iszmar (187) writes: Iszmar on the move (3) Duhanr was eleven when he decided he would leave to see the world . His adoptive parents wanted him to help at the farm but he had definitely other ideas for his future . Somehow, he had the feeling he should not stay , that someone or something was waiting for him outside . There was nothing he could do about it ; he had to go ... One early morning , he left for the big city, for Carahue . His mother was awake and she heard him leaving but the sorcerer had warned her not to stop him ... there was something about this kid; he was not a farmer... he knew things he should not... he talked to animals and he knew the stars ... In a sense, the woman was relieved but she cried silently hearing her kid's footsteps fading away . Everything is alright, she thought and she should not stop him. Carahue was like a gigantic shipyard ; woodcarts rolled day and night from the Griminish forest to the docks , sailors were coming from everywhere to join the future crews . It was long ago before the Masparian wars, but that is another story . Duhanr jumped on a cart and had no difficulty entering Carahue. During the first days , he would ran around the harbour , helping merchants on the markets in the morning, begging in front of churches in the afternoon, avoiding other beggars,avoiding drunkards and basically whatever could have led him to death or worse ... he had of course no money to pay for a journey ... where to, anyway ? His only treasure was a tattoo on his right shoulder , his only tie to his real parents and he could not sell it . After a few days , hungry and desperate , he managed to enter a shipyard . No one seemed to take notice of the little boy who sat near the fire and stared at the boat, but they did ... Strangely enough, it looked as if they were expecting him, as if he had always been here . An old Vulbarian gave him some soup and talked to him in a strange language; Casopr seemed to understand . The captain presented him to a tall and beautiful woman named Iszmagog . She looked at the tattoo and she said that he was the one and that he was to join the crew . Duhanr was the one ... (gosh... that was fast... how many times have I read these kind of stories -always the same beginning-, and yet, everytime, I know it is going to be different ... surprises ...let have some fantasy... Atlantis deserves it , doesn't it?... sorry for my English which can prove disappointing when it comes to dreaming...mind you, I usally dream in Iszmarian...) ------------------------------------------------ The Spleenish Inquisition (194) writes: Hail Spleen! I emphasise to all the members of the Dominion from the humblest sprout farmers to the most cunning Inquisitors, that rank and position in the Dominion are based on experience, ability and performance. If someone can prove more worthy of a position or role, it is theirs. Whether they like it or not. Does anyone really think I actually enjoy being Commander in Cheif, High Pontiff, Minister of Propaganda, Minister of Piracy and Customs, Minister of Internal Security, Minister of Foreign Affairs, Minister of Agriculture, Ambassador to Everyone *and* Under Secretary of Everything Else? Please people, I'm manic, not masochistic. Give me a bit of credit here. In light of all this I have come to the following conclusion. While I think we all will agree that I am a reasonably skilled propaganda artist, I am likely the only one who sees the effects that are generated behind the scenes. There is the work of one individual that has done more to generate new recruits and inspire rabid enthusiasm among the Dominion, than any other. I can not in good conscience continue to hold my position as Propaganda Minister of the Dominion of Spleen and I must resign the position and make room for Lord Azrael to take his rightful seat. I know when I am outclassed. I only hope the rest of the Dominion will forgive me for not making this formal move sooner. Lord Azrael, I strongly encourage you to come to Erisort to take your seat. I will even build you an Inn. I will just do my job and continue to read the cue cards that get stuck in front of my face. -Azthar Spleenmonger, former Dominion Propaganda Minister, Chief Financial Officer of the Spleenish Imperial Savings Bank and Investment Services. (oh, do click the banner) ------------------------------------------------ The Temple Keepers (216) writes: Aujourd'hui, maman est morte=2E Ou peut-etre hier, je ne sais pas=2E J'ai re= =E7u un telegramme de l'asile : "Mere decedee=2E Enterrement demain=2E Sentiments distingues=2E" Cele ne veut rien dire=2E C'etait peut-etre hier=2E ------------------------------------------------ Quentin's Merchant Empire (224) writes: Quentin Oddquirk walked to the Erisort docks and looked to the skies. He had waited weeks for a carrier pigeon from the exploratory vessel he had sent out two months ago, the "Bartumba's Pride". Finally, word from the ship had arrived. He read the note scrawled on the small scrap of paper: "Supplies ran out sooner than expected. Only things we could find in the hold this week were Spleenco (tm) haggis and rats. Turns out rats aren't too bad with a little salt. -- Captain Ned" "Whew!" Quentin sighed, "at least things aren't desperate enough for haggis, yet..." ------------------------------------------------ Ambiguity International (239) writes: Ambiguity International - Now selling personal defense issues! I don't know about this silver replacement business going on around Erisort, but I know a shakedown when I see one. Yesterday, I was walking back to the office after a hard day's barhopping, when I get pulled into an alley by an oversized oaf. He demands that I exchange my silver for a rather suspicious-looking form of reimbursement. "Frankie's orders," he says. I quickly searched my environment for weapons, but no magic swords were close by. I quickly improvised, whipping out my spare copy of Ambiguity International, which was conveniently rolled for storage (added features!), and set about giving the thug a taste of editorial furor. Unfortunately, the only thing I succeeded in doing was ticking him off. Undaunted, I resorted to plan B. Run like a scared rabbit. It worked. But this incident got me thinking... If it worked for me, why not others? So now Ambiguity International is proud to offer our Silver Saver kit, complete with rolled-up Ambiguity International back issue and floater-hide running boots. Each package may contain a different issue of AI! Collect them all! --Hecatonchires, Chief Editor of Ambiguity International ------------------------------------------------ Les Enfants de Guerre (254) writes: Hmmm... Am prety short in money. As soon as I find a way to get silvers from fish I let you know. Question : What's the difference between a bird and a sword ? Read the next "times" if you want THE answer. Tugdual map Bre-Gant, Ain=E9 des Enfants de Guerres, 254. Cry Havoc ! (and Pogues Mahose) ------------------------------------------------ Knights of Septentrion (261) writes: Is the Carahue Island destined to be a fortress ? Well, it seems so, for the inhabitants are not hurry to leave and find another places to live in. I can see with my eyes the smiths produce terrible weapons, tower watch are being built, and the whole territory is being seeked by gate_finders. I even don't speak of the Magic University, a diamond of wisdom and knowledge, 80 magicians working together for a single objective, being protected from any kind of attack. Hum, don't come in, if you have bad intentions, you may not leave alive... ------------------------------------------------ les centaures Riants (278) writes: Do you know about Dragon's eggs ? I desperate to find one ! NAK' *****************PUB**************** Do you want an exellent crew for your boats ? Fenn'la biz can teach him.....He is a supersailor, 10 times winner of = the Carahue's cup ! Contact him in "L'arsenal" (hex 99, 31) Faction 278 ****Last time**** Feature !! 10% for the 5 first registered ------------------------------------------------ Kei Altos (279) writes: Long long way from home. Where are you, our sweet home? Through dusky dungeons and glittering peaks our way stretches but when the End Of Time come we will reach our home. Our destiny. ------------------------------------------------ The Djinn Watch (280) writes: Mulla Nasruddin thought he should learn some more art while he waited for his TeaHouse to be built in Prettstern So he went to a music teacher : "How much to teach me to play the oud ?" The man replied : "That would be three dinars the first month, and then one dinar per month." Very satisfied, Nasruddin said : "That's fine, I'll start the second month !" ------------------------------------------------ Trinity Hall Traders (290) writes: Well, after exchanging many letters, the Master had finaly convinced the Farmers not to eat the grain that they grew but to put it in bags for sale at the market. Now as long as the man he had hired to transport the grain to market was more reliable than the farmers, he might actualy start making some money. If the farm ever managed to make a profit, he could use it to train more farmers, since the plains spread away on every side, and the nearby towns required far more grain than his small farm could hope to produce. ------------------------------------------------ The Chosen (296) writes: Carahue Docks Fresh from the official naming ceremony of their newly constructed longboat, "The Nomad", Feirha, Kief Kyr and Sylk sat around a small table in the Captain's cabin, studying the sea charts of the ocean to the East of the city. The ceremony had gone well. A bottle of the Blue Turtle's finest Absinthe had been broken against the hull, traditionally granting the ship and all its future crews, passengers and cargo, the blessings of any gods watching over them. It was not known whether the gods actually drank Absinthe, and if they did why such a waste would be likely to gain their favour, but that was the tradition. Meanwhile the newly selected and trained crew scrubbed the decks with a barrel of Grogma, an equally ancient Viking tradition giving much the same effect, but with the added bonus of certain more practical applications into the bargain. The sea charts they had acquired were pretty sparse, showing nothing but empty ocean. Luckily the Grand Master had provided them with the exact location of the Isle of Akbou, which Sylk had marked on the charts. It would take them three months sailing to reach the island, even with Kief on board. He had learned how to summon winds to speed their journey and the extra speed would be used to fill some of the gaps in the chart along the way. Sir Olaf was to be left in charge of the Order's affairs in Carahue. Darkmoon and the newly recruited Ignia, would stay in the Union Tower, to continue their studies until Kief returned. The three travellers would rest this night, and set sail at first light... ------------------------------------------------ Zandragal (298) writes: et vogue la galere....que les vents de l'insertitude me portent.... et hop! ------------------------------------------------ Red Dogma (300) writes: Kovarick's Diary, March Year '03 Well, my time has arrived. I'm probably unprepared, but no risk, no reward, right? My thanks to The Union for their shelter and protection. They have been so kind and urge me to stay to finish my training. In my heart I know what they speak is true, but I cannot deny the call. I will return or send a follower to help them out as much as they helped me. My heart fills with excitement and trepidation as I prepare the Gate jump, knowing it can lead to great opportunities or great pain. I know that others crossing the Gate have met their end. I accept my fate. I pray to the Astral Winds that they may lead me in the right direction. -K. ------------------------------------------------ Order of the Lady Nicoline (353) writes: Dragons, dragons all around us. May The Lady Nicoline preserve us. ------------------------------------------------ Order of Excalibur (357) writes: Finaly Lancelot could rest. He escaped the pair of ogres and now he had found a place to start recruting some men and train them in the art of war. Hopefully the High Priest will be pleased. ------------------------------------------------ The Babylonian Institute of Commerce and the Magical Arts (362) writes: I sat in my room at the inn in Sinan. I had sent my men to inquir about access to the Sinan Tower for the third month in a row and was waiting hopefully for good news this time. Suddenly a knock at the door gave me a start. "Come in!" I yelled. The door opened and Gossamero stepped into the room. "Sir, uhm..." He started. "Well well, spit it out already!" "Sir, they still say we are not on the list." "WHAT! Arg! Fine, fine, fine. I will take care of this _Myself_. Now out before my mood gets any worse." I could not believe this. My men were obviously fools. A simple letter to the head mage in charge over at the tower would solve this once and for all. I grabbed my quill, ink, and parchment and set to work on the letter as I heard Gossamero slam the door to my room. Oh well, he'll get over it. Damn High Elves. ------------------------------------------------ Sarsaparilla (392) writes: We have hired some of the locals here to help us seek the legendary ginger root that supposedly can be found here. I'm disappointed that none of them have actually heard of it. Indeed, most of these yokels had never even heard of root beer, let alone ginger! It's discouraging...perhaps we are looking in the wrong part of the continent... ------------------------------------------------ Zetetics (396) writes: Haggis is good for you!!! I'll have none of this libellous nonsense. Oatmeal and onions, boiled in a sheep's stomach. Wonderful stuff. ------------------------------------------------ False Light (398) writes: *** SYNOPSIS *** SYNOPSIS **** SYNOPSIS **** Through a great expenditure of time and energy I have summarized the last Times by taking a word from each entry, the results are a frightening portent: The imperial dragon cracks mountains, Plains growing population lumber, Winter bell stands, Half fish remains to travel, Camel horses protect a wilderness in undead Atlantis. While the first line may sound ominous, and the 3 intermediate lines are vague and cryptic, the last line is the one that frightens me.... By taking the last non-proper word of each entry in the times and then realizing the words were in the wrong order I came to the following prayer(?): Relevant history course lecturers circle smugglers silver bounty. Outside of two year time, beast thought studies us. Start to-night sir, wait anymore cost paid. -Amen This is a much clearer indication of what is to come. First we see that those ostensibly involved with studies really covet their pillaging neighbors wealth. The second line indicates that a force is watching us, I do not believe this to be a reference of the so-called 'Beast of Erisort' but a mythological beast tha may be returning to the land; does this mean that he is currently studying us or that in 2 years he will study us? The third line indicates that one must begin to prepare now for that day, although there is no indication as to what will happen to those who are unprepared... Anyone who wants to add to this analysis is free to do so... ------------------------------------------------ Les sans culottes (405) writes: each one has to do what he dares! ------------------------------------------------ The Kimch'i (410) writes: Nexus: The food is bland, the serving staff unfriendly, and the decor dismal. I couldn't recommend this place to anyone. Still, at least the weather is clear... ======================================================= Rumors ======================================================= Dear Atlanteans, If you are reading this then I have suffered an untimely death. A death served by the true and all powerful rulers of Atlantis. See there is a secret group operating amoungst you. You will never know who they are till it is to late. And you will never see them even if they are right in front of you. I arranged for this to be sent out apon my death as nothing more then a warning and a means to keep this knowledge alive. Good Journey, .... ------------------------------------------------ Tommy I went into a public'ouse to get a pint o' beer, The publican 'e up an' sez, "We serve no redcoats here". The girls be'ind the bar, they laughed an' giggled fit to die, I outs into the street again an' to myself sez I: O it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy go away"; But it's "Thank you, Mr Atkins", when the band begins to play- The band begins to play, my boys, the band begins to play, O it's "Thank you, Mr Atkins", when the band begins to play. I went into a theatre as sober as could be, They gave a drunk civilian room, but 'adn't none for me; They sent me to the gallery or round the music-'alls, But when it comes to fightin', Lord!, they'll shove me in the stalls! For it's Tommy this an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy wait outside", But it's "Special Train for Atkins" when the trooper's on the tide- The trooper's on the tide my boys, the trooper's on the tide, O it's "Special Train for Atkins" when the trooper's on the tide. Yes, makin' mock o' uniforms that guard you while you sleep Is cheaper than them uniforms, an' they're starvation cheap; An' hustlin' drunken soldiers when they're goin' large a bit Is five times better business than paradin' in full kit. Then it's Tommy this an' Tommy that an' "Tommy, ow's yr soul?" But it's "Thin red line of 'eroes when the drums begin to roll- The drums begin to roll, my boys, the drums begin to roll, O it's "Thin red line of 'eroes" when the drums begin to roll. We aren't no thin red 'eroes, nor we aren't no blackguards too, But single men in barricks, most remarkable like you; An' if sometimes our conduck isn't all your fancy psints, Why, single men in barricks don't grow into plaster saints; While it's Tommy this and Tommy that, an' "Tommy, fall be'ind", But it's "Please to walk in front, sir" when there's trouble in the wind- O it's "Please to walk in front, sir" when there's trouble in the wind. You talk o' better food for us, an' schools, an' fires, an' all: We'll wait for extry rations if you'll treat us rational. Don't mess about the cookroom slops, but prove it to our face The Widow's uniform is not the soldier-man's disgrace. For it's Tommy this and Tommy that, an' "Chuck 'im out, the brute!" But it's "Saviour of 'is country" when the guns begin to shoot; An' it's Tommy this and Tommy that, an' anything you please; An' Tommy ain't a bloomin' fool-you bet that Tommy sees! ------------------------------------------------ The Explorers' Guild are the running-dog lackeys of the Grand Assembly of Learned Elders. ------------------------------------------------ Dear Atlanteans, If you are reading this then I have suffered an untimely death. A death served by the true and all powerful rulers of Atlantis. See there is a secret group operating amoungst you. You will never know who they are till it is to late. And you will never see them even if they are right in front of you. I arranged for this to be sent out apon my death as nothing more then a warning and a means to keep this knowledge alive. Good Journey, .... ------------------------------------------------ Dieu est toujours pour les plus gros bataillons. Vive la bagattelle d'Anges! ------------------------------------------------ The Explorers' Guild are the running-dog lackeys of the Grand Assembly of Learned Elders. ------------------------------------------------ Tommy I went into a public'ouse to get a pint o' beer, The publican 'e up an' sez, "We serve no redcoats here". The girls be'ind the bar, they laughed an' giggled fit to die, I outs into the street again an' to myself sez I: O it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy go away"; But it's "Thank you, Mr Atkins", when the band begins to play- The band begins to play, my boys, the band begins to play, O it's "Thank you, Mr Atkins", when the band begins to play. I went into a theatre as sober as could be, They gave a drunk civilian room, but 'adn't none for me; They sent me to the gallery or round the music-'alls, But when it comes to fightin', Lord!, they'll shove me in the stalls! For it's Tommy this an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy wait outside", But it's "Special Train for Atkins" when the trooper's on the tide- The trooper's on the tide my boys, the trooper's on the tide, O it's "Special Train for Atkins" when the trooper's on the tide. Yes, makin' mock o' uniforms that guard you while you sleep Is cheaper than them uniforms, an' they're starvation cheap; An' hustlin' drunken soldiers when they're goin' large a bit Is five times better business than paradin' in full kit. Then it's Tommy this an' Tommy that an' "Tommy, ow's yr soul?" But it's "Thin red line of 'eroes when the drums begin to roll- The drums begin to roll, my boys, the drums begin to roll, O it's "Thin red line of 'eroes" when the drums begin to roll. We aren't no thin red 'eroes, nor we aren't no blackguards too, But single men in barricks, most remarkable like you; An' if sometimes our conduck isn't all your fancy psints, Why, single men in barricks don't grow into plaster saints; While it's Tommy this and Tommy that, an' "Tommy, fall be'ind", But it's "Please to walk in front, sir" when there's trouble in the wind- O it's "Please to walk in front, sir" when there's trouble in the wind. You talk o' better food for us, an' schools, an' fires, an' all: We'll wait for extry rations if you'll treat us rational. Don't mess about the cookroom slops, but prove it to our face The Widow's uniform is not the soldier-man's disgrace. For it's Tommy this and Tommy that, an' "Chuck 'im out, the brute!" But it's "Saviour of 'is country" when the guns begin to shoot; An' it's Tommy this and Tommy that, an' anything you please; An' Tommy ain't a bloomin' fool-you bet that Tommy sees! ------------------------------------------------ The Explorers' Guild are the running-dog lackeys of the Grand Assembly of Learned Elders. ------------------------------------------------ Hey brother, You and your Knights of Septentrion (261) are going to die in few turns. ------------------------------------------------ Dieu est toujours pour les plus gros bataillons. Vive la bagattelle d'Anges! ------------------------------------------------ The Explorers' Guild are the running-dog lackeys of the Grand Assembly of Learned Elders. ------------------------------------------------ The Explorers' Guild are the running-dog lackeys of the Grand Assembly of Learned Elders. Up