New: League of the Fantastic Amazings! (free, open-ended, email, human, modern, rpg) From: lindahl@pbm.com (Greg Lindahl) Date: Mon, 13 May 2002 07:13:00 +0000 Name: League of the Fantastic Amazings! Costs: free Frequency: every 2 days Email: david@dlsharrock.freeserve.co.uk Type: Comedy, super hero Last-Update: 2002May12 Keywords: free, open-ended, email, human, modern, rpg Description: "The trouble with Gethburg City," Captain Superbguy muttered as he sat for the umpeenth time before his extremely expensive and extremely complicated computer data processing databank surveying its incomprehensible but hugely informative flashing lights, readouts and wave algorithms, "is that there are simply not enough hours in the day." "Oh sir, I do wish you would stop your grumbling," his devoted butler 'Chives' responded, picking up a discarded Coke can and throwing it expertly into a nearby super-waste atomising recyc-unit where it instantly dissolved into a billion red and white molecules, "its not the hours in the day don't you know, its the years on your life." "What's that supposed to mean?" Captain Superbguy frowned as a particularly bright light flashed several times informing him that someone somewhere in the city had done something spectacularly incriminating. "Well, without putting too fine a point on it sir, you are getting on a bit." "Hah," Captain Superbguy waved a dismissive hand at the butler, but his laugh lacked its usual trademark confidence. "Getting on a bit? Me? The hero who foiled the world-dominating affairs of Lecturn the Very Evil, Spitwad the Extremely Distasteful and Kakfiend, the baddest most wicked villain who ever lived? Me! The super fellow responsible for eradicating crime on the streets of Gethburg and bringing peace to the citizens of this fair city? Me! The dashingest, fightingest and bravest guy who ever graced the surface of the Earth? Me?!" "Yes" "Hmm. Maybe you're right. What do you propose we do about it?" Chives rolled his eyes toward the ceiling then sighed. He rolled his eyes a bit more for emphasis. Sometimes he felt pretty old himself. "Well sir, perhaps its time you started to think about retirement." "Retirement!?!" "Yes sir." "Retirement?!? Me?!" "Yes sir." "But Chives, if I retired, who would look after Gethsburg, who would eradicate crime and strike fear into the hearts and minds of the most evil criminal minds this planet has ever seen? Who would operate the extremely expensive computer data processing databank?" "Hired help?" Chives answered succinctly, polishing an already immaculately polished spot of wall. "Hired help." Captain Superbguy repeated thoughtfully, "yes, now you know you could be onto something there." "Really." "Computer," Captain Superbguy leaned forward, addressing the vast and unfathomable brain of the super computer. "Yes?" the computer answered tiredly, "what now?" "We need hired help. Someone to replace me as this city's most revered and superb super hero. Actually, on second thoughts, better make that several someones. No single guy is going to be able to match up to my personal record for crime fighting. Best get in a whole gang. What do you have?" "Sigh," the computer sighed. It usually did this before answering a question. Nobody knew why but Chives suspected he knew, the word empathy sprang to mind on occassions such as this. "Let me think. Uuum. Oh, I tell you what, I'll just pop out and check my directory of superheroes shall I? Yes, that would be a good start. I think I had one delivered with the last white pages. Shan't be a tick." "Can the sarcasm loser," Superbguy reclined heroically in his extremely padded leather seat and folded muscular arms across a muscular chest, "just give me names." "Don't have any, surprise surprise. Tell you what though, I'll put an ad in the local paper. Wanted, super hero to replace decrepit glorified security guard. Must have own ego and must be willing to work weekends. Minimum wage applies. Sound ok?" "Gah," Superbguy slapped his thigh in a heroic way, "you're no help." "Actually," Chives raised an eyebrow, pretty much the only facial expression he ever utilised, "the computer does have a point. An advertisement in the local rag might be a good place to start." "Are you serious?" both Superbguy and the computer chimed in together. Superbguy kept speaking as tended to be his manner, "and alert every criminal brain in Gethsburg that Superbguy is retiring? The crime spree would be unimaginable." "Quite," Chives pursed his lips patiently, "but not if we put the advertisement only in the early editions. Everybody knows bad guys only come out at night." "Genius," Superbguy clenched his fist and banged it on a nearby surface which just happened to be the super computer's main input keyboard. He goggled wonderingly at some distant point and bared his teeth dramatically, something he reserved only for the most inspiring moments. "Computer, make it so." "Make what so," the computer answered in a bored tone. "Eh? What Chives just said you idiot." "Oh, right. Sorry. I wasn't listening."... And so it came to be that the next week, in every early edition of every local newspaper throughout the city of Gethsburg a call to arms appeared. A small advertisement of only a few lines, concise and to the point, brilliantly dictated by Captain Superbguy himself, an invite to Gethsburg's finest that would..." "Do you really have to do that?" Chives interjected. "Eh?" "Talk like that." "Like what?" "Like you're narrating some kind of cheap made-for-TV movie." "Sorry, I was just giving the moment some dramatic emphasis." Chives tutted and stalked out of the cave. The computer tutted too, but it quite often did that and didn't necessarily need prompting or a particularly specific reason. Captain Superbguy watched his butler leave then sat forward, just so he could recline heroically again and fold his arms in a smug, self-assuring way... PLAYER INTRO You have always known of your super-power, that certain definable something that sets you apart from the crowd and in many ways alienates you from them as well. And you have always wanted to use your power to fight crime. You don't really know why. It just seems like the inevitable thing to do. One morning, while munching on a bowl of soggy cornfleks and scanning the early edition pages of The Daily Planetarium you come across a small ad that instantly grabs your attention. "WANTED: superhero(s) willing to work for next to nothing fighting crime and generally doing good deeds of a socially beneficial kind. Must have super powers, own car and minimum two years experience, although training will be provided. Apply, millionaire Hank Smithson's mansion." Yes! At last the break you've been looking for. But you don't have your own car. Never mind. You can always pretend you do. All employers expect a little glossing over. You reach for a nearby piece of paper and a pen and start to write. As you scribble a rising sense of anticipation and excitement mounts within your super-body. Finally you will be able to use your gifts for good and the benefit of all mankind! [ This is a new entry for the PBM List. You can find the list itself, and instructions for adding games or comments, at http://www.pbm.com/~lindahl/pbm_list/ -- greg ] Up