Re: New: The Elf Gathering (free, open-ended, email, www, human, fantasy, rpg, abstract)

From: Chris Wilkes <telinir@attbi.com>

Date: Wed, 27 Nov 2002 15:28:44 +0000

Well... I have read the posts that ended (or should have, anyway) in
that hilarious spoof game of throwing aging rock stars through panes of
glass, and I still am not sure what the point of these many posts by Mr.
Lindahl are. However, if they really are supposed to be some kind of
recruiting tool, proper spelling and grammar would likely increase their
effectiveness a lot. In my opinion, even if such a method *could* work,
they are currently more of an embarrassment than an inducement, given
the unbelievable number of errors typically imbedded within them.

I would suggest that the author try using a good word processor with the
grammar checking and spell checking features turned on, if he plans on
writing more of them. Then cut and paste the clean copy into his posts.

Chris W.

PS - I usually ignore errors and typos, as we all occasionally make
them, but these posts border on functional illiteracy. No insult is
intended, I just think you should work on your skills, a lot.

Remember that there are many tools you can use, even online tutor
programs, that will help you improve your written english skills. You
need to take advantage of them if you want to be anything more than a
sad joke. You don't need to be perfect, no one is, but you do need to be
able to at least understand normal grammar, and know how to use a spell
checker. Good luck in that endeavor.

EXAMPLES
<Errors in the post that I noticed, and fixes for them>:

> ...or your characters in play.
or your characters are in play.
<but even better would be...>
or your characters are currently involved in the action.

> ... play buy mail RPG
play by email RPG

> Through the dence
Through the dense

> know one knows
no one knows

> have felt it's presents.
have felt its presence

> have banned together
have banded together

>and to help restore their lands back to the peace they once knew.
and to help restore the peace their lands once knew.

> the Elven council of Telngar wish to invite you
the elven council of Telngar invites you

>to join in this task
to join them in their task

>thier
their

<One humungously long run-on sentence, that should be five or six short
ones, minimum.>
**start sentence**
 > Although this game is farly new I wish that it would catch you
 > attention and you will find it interesting enough to join in the
 > fun, it is an add on story line that has been set and keeps getting
 > set as we play, there are no loss of points if there is a fighting
 > sceen gold is won by doing the tasks that are presented in the time
 > frame that it is set, there is more information at the site, I
 > don't show the maps nor the members bio pages, they have asked that
 > those be kept for members only.
**end sentence**

> game is farly new I wish that it would catch you attention
game is fairly new, I hope that it will catch your attention

> and you will find
and that you will find

> the fun, it is
the fun. It is

> that has been set and keeps getting set as we play
<?? not sure what this means; does it infer the game is 'interactively
created'?>

> there are no loss of points if there is
there is no point loss when there is
<victory points?>

> ...fighting sceen gold is won by doing the tasks that are presented in
 > the time frame that it is set,
...fighting scene. Gold is won by accomplishing the available tasks
within the given time frame.

> ...there is more information at the site,
More information is available at the <Linked> site.

> I don't show the maps nor the members bio pages, they have asked that
 > those be kept for members only.
Game maps and player's bio pages are only available to players.

> players. there
players. There

> brief history as to what is going on and
brief history about what is currently happening.

<not salvageable, rewrite>
 > things are are kept simple, until you get into the members section
 > then your blasted with things have to be done. Like  bio page layout
 > and a map that must be completed one week after you have joined.
 > Those are a must so I can post them up.
If you become a member, you must submit a completed bio page and
position map within one week, so they can be posted.

<but if you wanted to use the aforementioned drek>
*******
 > then your blasted with
then you're blasted

> done. Like  bio page layout and a map
done. Such as a bio page and position map

> must be completed one week after you have joined. <why not before?>
must be submitted within a week of joining.

> Those are a must so I can post them up.
They are required, so that I can post them.
*******

> Other than that please come and take a look around and see if it is
 > something you may like to try out.
If the idea appeals to you, please take a look at the site.

<**Erk! I assume that english is not your first language?**>
 > I don't wish to get a huge amount of members but I do
 > wish that I have enough that are willing to be able to play and keep
 > the story line going that is something I will push for.
Membership is limited, but space is currently available. I reserve the
right to delete inactive members, in order to make room for players who
are interested in contributing to the storyline.

> thanks for reading this, hope to see you at the site.

References

New: The Elf Gathering (free, open-ended, email, www, human, fantasy, rpg, abstract)
lindahl@pbm.com (Greg Lindahl)
Tue, 26 Nov 2002 20:14:44 +0000

Referenced By

New: The Elf Gathering (free, open-ended, email, www, human, fantasy, rpg, abstract)
lindahl@pbm.com (Greg Lindahl)
Tue, 26 Nov 2002 20:14:44 +0000