Diplomacy Zine -- The Lost Chapter From: tedward@svax.cs.cornell.edu (Ted Fischer) Date: Wed, 06 Sep 1989 13:05:55 +0000 Chapter Two of ELECTRONIC PROTOCOL: Issue #94 This chapter contains results from DRAGONSLAYER, DOUGHBOY, BISMARK, COLD WAR, JACAL, and TRENCHFOOT =========================================================================== Dragonslayer: Summer 1904 retreats Final Positions: AUSTRIA: A Boh, A Rum, A Tyr, A Tri, A Gal ENGLAND: A Den, F Nth.S., F Ska, F Nor FRANCE : A Bur, A Ruh, A Pic, A Bel, F GoL, F NAf GERMANY: A Kie, A Mun, A Sil, F Hol, F Hel.B. ITALY : A Rom, A Ven, F E.Med., F Ion.S. RUSSIA : A Mos, A Vie, A St.P., F Swe TURKEY : A Bul, A Sev, A Ukr, F Smy, F Alb, F Nap Russian A Galicia retreated to Vienna. German A Bohemia retreated to Silesia. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Supply Center Ownership: AUSTRIA: +0 [5] Vie, Bud, Tri, Rum, Ser ENGLAND: +0 [4] Liv, Edi, Lon, Nor FRANCE : +0 [6] Par, Mar, Bre, Spa, Por, Bel GERMANY: +0 [5] Ber, Mun, Kie, Den, Hol ITALY : +0 [4] Ven, Rom, Nap, Tun RUSSIA : +0 [4] War, Mos, St.P., Swe TURKEY : +0 [6] Con, Smy, Ank, Bul, Gre, Sev =============================================================================== Doughboy Spring 1904 DISL = Dislodged NSO = Not so ordered ---Austria-----------------------------|---England----------------------------- A Gal - Ukr FAIL,DISL |F Nwy - St.P(nc) A Tyl S FRA A Pie-Ven |A Lon - Nwy A Bud S A Bul-Rum CUT |F Nth C A Lon-Nwy A Bul - Rum FAIL |F Ska - Swe ---Italy-------------------------------|F Den S F Ska-Swe A Ven S RUS A Ser-Tri NSO,DISL |---Germany----------------------------- F Nap S F Eas-Ion |F Hel S FRA A Ruh-Kie NSO A Rom S A Ven H CUT |F Bal - Ber FAIL F Eas - Ion |---Russia------------------------------ A Smy S RUS A Ank-Con |F Swe S F GoB-Bal CUT,DISL F Gre - Aeg |F GoB - Bal FAIL ---France------------------------------|A Ber - Kie FAIL A Bel - Pic |A Sil S A War-Gal A Ruh - Hol |A War - Gal A Mun - Kie FAIL |A Sev - Ukr FAIL F Mar - GoL |F Bla - Rum FAIL F Wes - Tun |A Ank - Con F Tyn - Rom FAIL |A Ser - Bud FAIL A Pie - Ven |---Turkey------------------------------ ---------------------------------------|F Con - Bul FAIL,DISB |--------------------------------------- AUS A Gal must retreat to Boh, Vie or disband ITA A Ven must retreat to Apu, Tri, Tus or disband RUS F Swe must retreat to Fin or disband TUR F Con must disband Positions [] = must retreat Austria 4 A Tyl Bud Bul [Gal] England 5 A Nwy F Nth Den Swe StP(nc) France 7 A Pic Hol Mun Ven F GoL Tyn Tun Germany 2 F Hel Bal Italy 6 A Rom Smy [Ven] F Nap Ion Aeg Russia 9 A Ber Sil Gal Ser Sev Con F GoB Bla [Swe] Turkey 0 Summer 1904 retreats: Retreats Austria A Gal -> Vie Italy A Ven -> Tri Russia F Swe -> Fin Final positions Austria 4 A Tyl Bud Bul Vie England 5 A Nwy F Nth Den Swe StP(nc) France 7 A Pic Hol Mun Ven F GoL Tyn Tun Germany 2 F Hel Bal Italy 6 A Rom Smy Tri F Nap Ion Aeg Russia 9 A Ber Sil Gal Ser Sev Con F GoB Bla Fin Turkey 0 Press -ROME- Yesterday the Emperor was criticized by members of Parliament for what some members feel is an unjustified military buildup. Today even his greatest critics were praising his foresight. In a press conference, Emperor Ravioli delivered a furious condemnation of the French aggression saying, "Those [deleted] Frogs have finally realized that they can't cook worth a [deleted] and have invaded our fair nation in order to get some real food." The Emperor also answered questions about the occupation of Austrian soil by Italian forces saying "It was a pre-emptive retaliatory strike." In other news, former ex-General Marco Spumoni has been reinstated to his position as General of the new Italian Third Army garrisoned in Rome. Sources in the military have said that Spumoni was the logical choice for this position since he has considerable interest in maintaining the sanctity of Italian food. **FLASH** The Emperor has just issued a proclamation declaring that all amphibians are illegal and calls upon all red blooded Italians to kill every toad, salamander and especially frog in the country. At press time there has been no official word from any environmental concerns group in the country. -------------------------------- London (Reuters) - Reacting to the threats of the heathen Turks, the palace guard has been placed on full alert. They have been given orders to shoot to kill anyone who even looks Turkish. One officer was heard to comment, "As hideous as they are, it's not their looks that will give them away. We'll be able to smell the filthy buggers before they even make it to the cliffs of Dover." When asked how this would affect diplomatic relations with the rest of Europe, First Sea Lord Winston "Winnie" Churchill said, "They'll love us!! We are merely echoing a sentiment held by all the civilized nations of Europe. Why, Turkey isn't even Europe, really. Those bloody savages have more in common with their camels than they do with we Europeans!" Birmingham (BBC) - Mass rioting broke out early yesterday as news of the Turkish threats spread. Opium parlors all over the city were broken into and burned to the ground by irate Britishers. In a tragic scene, one person obviously of Turkish extraction suffocated after being stuffed with fish n' chips. The Home Guard had to be called out to protect the Turkish Counsulate here in Birmingham from the angry mob. Dover (BBC Home Service) - The scenes this week at the docks of Dover have been ones of heart-rending tragedy, as the ships of the Royal Navy have brought our boys home from the dikes of Holland. They were caught there by a surprise last ditch German offensive and driven into the sea. Thanks to a valient daylight rescue mission undertaken by units of the North Sea squadron of the Royal Navy, the majority of the men of the BEF were able to be saved. They were, however, forced to leave nearly all of their material on the Dutch beaches, where it was captured by the Germans. The families of the soldiers have been maintaining a vigil for the last week, each waiting, hoping that their loved one was among the fortunate who made it safely home. General Bingham of the Royal Army's Quartermaster Corps stated that this loss, tragic though it was, was not expected to permenantly affect Army operations. He remarked that the equipment lost in Holland was being replaced quickly by German equipment found in hidden caches all over Denmark. "We caught the Germans trying to establish a secret base in Denmark, and now we will crush them with their own weapons!" stated Gen. Bingham. There have been several unconfirmed reports of an impending arms-for-arms swap with the Germans. When asked about these rumors, a Col. South, of the PM's Security Council, responded, "I didn't shred anything!!" The Royal Navy was rather pleased with its performance in the evacuation. Admiral Jellycoal, commander of the North Sea squadron, stated, "Everything went just fine. Now we know that we will be prepared if this sort of thing ever happens again. No more Rotterdams for us!" -------------------------------- THE COSSACK'S GAZETTE -Moscow- A representative from the Imperial Ministry To Squash the Turks announced total victory was in sight. "The heathens are trying to make their last stand in Constantinople. If all goes well, everyone will be drinking vodka and good Italian wine in that corner of the world." A spokesman from the newly created Imperial Ministry To Stomp the Austrians says that it will be a long fight, but the Czar's troops will claim victory in 2 years. General Ivan Yabukovski, front commander, was quoted as saying, "These Austrians are pushovers. They can't handle the winter." When reminded that that part of the world doesn't get very cold, he said, "No way. I don't believe you. That's just a fairy tale, that there are places where it doesn't get cold." ============================================================================== COLD WAR RESULTS -- FALL 1902 ----------------------------- ---------------< Orders >----------------------------------------------------- AUS: A GAL-Ukr GER: A HOL hold A RUM S Turkish A Arm-SEV F BAL-Swe A BUD S A RUM hold A KIE-Den A SER S A RUM hold A Ber-PRU F GRE hold F DEN-Nth ENG: F NTH-Den ITA: F Ion-AEG F NAT-Mid F Tyn-GOL F LON-Ech A Tun-NAF A SWE S F NTH-Den A Tus-PIE FRA: A Mar-SPA RUS: *F Sev S Turk A Bul-Rum (NSO) F BRE-Ech A UKR S Turk A Bul-Rum (NSO) F MID S F BRE-Ech A Pru-WAR A PIC hold F GOB S Engl A SWE hold A BEL hold TUR: A Arm-SEV A Con-SMY A BUL hold F Ank-BLA ===============< Final Unit Positions >=================================== AUS: A Gal, A Bud, A Rum, A Ser, F Gre ENG: F NAt, F Nth, F Lon, A Swe FRA: A Spa, F Mid, F Bre, A Pic, A Bel GER: A Hol, A Kie, A Pru, F Bal, F Den ITA: A Pie, A NAf, F GoL, F Aeg RUS: A War, F GoB, A Ukr *F Sev was forced to disband* TUR: F Bla, A Bul, A Sev, A Smy ===============< Supply Center Count >==================================== AUS: VIE, BUD, TRI, SER, GRE, RUM (6) +1 unit ENG: EDI, LVP, LON, SWE, NWY (5) +1 unit FRA: BEL, PAR, BRE, MAR, SPA, POR (6) +1 unit GER: HOL, MUN, KIE, BER, DEN (5) no change ITA: VEN, ROM, NAP, TUN (4) no change RUS: WAR, MOS, STP (3) no change TUR: ANK, CON, SMY, BUL, SEV (5) +1 unit ===============< Press >================================================== Berlin, May 8, 1902 The Kaiser of Germany and his chief aide, General von Bluchker, have expressed outrage at the invasion of Germany by Russian forces. In a clear violation of peace, the Russians moved, without provocation or warning, into the state of Prussia. The declaration of war by Russia and England against Germany also caught the Kaiser and Von Bluchker off guard. "Clearly", commented von Bluchker, "the people of the world can see that the English and Russians are trying to oppress the Germans. We have done nothing to warrant such a blatant violation of our border by the Russians. We have also had favorable dealings with the English in the past and do not understand why they have joined with the Russian usurpers. The German people shall not rest until we have eradicated the invaders and all of their allies!" The Kaiser called on all of the people of the world to boycott all Russian and English goods. Such a boycott would bring the invaders to their knees. He also called upon other European nations to aid Germany in the effort to repel the invaders, saying that if Germany fell, the rest of Europe would also. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- EXTRA! EXTRA! Turkish troops capture Sevastapol! Austro/Hug. allies rejoicing in Vienna and Budapest! Russian fleet disbands! -------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Berlin Chronicle October 15, 1902 Berlin: General Klaus von Bluchker has announced the new counter offensive to be taken against the invaders and their allies. In a bold move, the German navy has moved against the English, to re-gain control of the seas. The German army has decided to use a land based attack to repel the invading Russians. All of Germany salutes the bold moves taken by von Bluchker to repel the war mongerers to the East and North. General von Bluchker also announced that France has joined Germany in the fight against the Imperialistic, oppresive English. Long shall Germany and France be friends! -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Rumania: Pursuing remnants of the Russian Army, which ceased to exist as a fighting force in this area, the Austrian army has moved towards the border towns of Russia itself. In what is described as a punative strike, the Austrians hope to provide sufficient support to allow the Turks to capture the Black Sea ports. A second Austrian force in Galicia is moving to prevent interference by the Ukranian Cossacks. Intial reports are highly favorable to the attack, with no casualties and light resistance. In support, the Turkish fleet has begun maneuvers along the coast and it containing the Russian fleet, preventing escape or commerce raiding. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- New York August 31, 1902 The King of England has reportedly approached the King of Austria to ask for assistance in the attack of Germany. He was flatly refused, in fact, the King of Austria declared that England was as bad as Russia and deserved to be eradicated as well. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- >From the unpublished doctoral dissertation: The Life and Times of an Ambassador Chapter 6: San Francisco Muhammed Ali found himself on the docks of San Francisco after a year-long voyage from Constantinople. Nine months of that voyage had been spent in his cabin suffering from seasickness. Having disembarked, he realized that he had no money. He wandered around the piers asking for directions to the Turkish consulate. However, there was no Turkish consulate west of the Mississippi River. Moreover, Ali was under the misapprehension that he was in New York City. The combination of his native Turkish costume, his confusion at being on the wrong side of the United States, and his poor English made him an easy target for con-men and common street toughs. However, since Ali did not have any money he found himself beaten up more often than robbed. He finally found a helpful policeman who took him to the closest police station. The desk sergeant calmly listened to Ali explain, in broken English, that he was the Turkish Ambassador to the United States. He was promptly locked up in the drunk tank for 2 weeks. Upon his release he went out in search of transportation to Washington, D. C. He went to the Wells Fargo office but since he had no money they refused to do anything. He went to local office of the Atchison, Topeka, and the Santa Fe Railroad and asked for a car appropriate for a foreign dignatary. They took him to their work camp and said that all foreign ambassadors were supposed to work building the railroad before they could ride. Ali, naive as he was to the world of international politics, thought this was a crazy idea, but he was not about to make a faux-pas. So he found himself working in a railroad gang. It took him nearly 3 months to work his way to Salt Lake City. He had by this time earned enough money to get a fourth-class ticket to Chicago. So he soon found himself riding across the Great Plains. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- London Times: August 27,1902 The King of England is very disturbed by the weakness his new ally, Russia. He feels that England should re-evaluate its position with regards to helping such a weak nation. Privately, he was reported to cheer the Austrian invasion of Rumania. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Leningrad. September 3,1902 The Tsar is reportedly disturbed that the English have not helped with the defense of Russia, but have only used the alliance to gain power. The Tsar is also upset by the betrayal of the Austrians. In a difficult decision, he has decided to send his forces against the Austrian betrayers and to leave the Prussian pretenders alone. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ANKARA - The Ministry for Internal Security has issued the following official proclamation: The assassinations of the late Sultan and his heirs were not committed by twelve highly-trained members of the elite Palace Guard, who are trained to kill in 4503 different ways, and who have been recently promoted by the Commander of the Home Front even though they have not seen combat, and who were seen by 1267 witnesses in the act of performing the assassinations, and who are under the personal command of the General whose hatred of the late Sultan is only outweighed by his superior intellect, cold ruthlessness, and undying devotion to the current Sultan Sulamein III. Instead these highly intricate and subtle murders were committed by four people who were lurking suspiciously outside of the Ministry yesterday afternoon. Under interrogation, these four people have confessed to the murders and said they were paid by the Russian government to commit the assassinations. This tragic and confusing situation will be over and done with when these four miscreants are executed tomorrow at dawn. Sultan Sulamein III held a press conference immediately after the Ministry for Internal Security issued its proclamation. "We are very happy now that the murderers of my father and brothers have been brought to justice," he said. When asked if he was contemplating retaliation against the Russian government he replied, "Yes. Most certainly. We will not rest until the Russian people and armed forces have been ground into dust. We had not expected that the Russian government could be so arrogant as to pay mercenary assassins to kill our Sultan. They must be taught a lesson that they will not soon forget." -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Roma = In an effort to define Italian foreign policy, the government today issued a proclamation: Keep Them Confused. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Stockholm(UP) - The Swedish government has sent an emissary to Berlin to request Germany's help in removing the English occupation army. General von Bluchker has given preliminary approval for a German invasion of Scandinavia. Rumors abound that the Russians, who helped England move into Sweden in the Spring, have agreed to aid Germany in every way possible. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Munich May 12, 1902 In a speech given here today, General von Bluchker applauded the Austrian-Turkish "liberation" of Rumania from the Russians. He said that the people of the world would not stand for the invasion of Germany, and the action by the Austrians and Turks is proof of that. He extended his hand in invitation to the Austrians and Turkish to help Germany in the destruction of Russia. He also called upon England to end the treaty with Russia or risk the same fate as Russia. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Berlin May 15, 1902 General von Bluchker ordered the arrest of all Englishmen today, stating that they are all spies. They will be shot. There are approximately 3000 English men, women and children living in Germany. As von Bluchker stated, "The English knew our secret attack plans and relayed them to Russia. The English living here are responsible for the invasion of Prussia and must be dealt with severely." ========================================================================== COLD WAR -- WINTER 1902 ========================= ================< Adjustments >=========================================== AUS: + A TRI GER: no change ENG: + F LIV ITA: no change FRA: + F MAR RUS: no change TUR: + F CON (F Sev forced to disband in the fall) ========================================================================== TRENCHFOOT: Spring 1901 ---England----------------------------------Turkey----------------------------- A Lvp - EDI |A Con - BUL F Edi - NWS |A SMY H F Lon - NTS |F Ank - CON ---France-------------------------------|---Germany---------------------------- A MAR S (A Par - Bur) |A Ber - KIE A Par - BUR |A Mun - BOH F Bre - MID |F Kie - HOL ---Italy--------------------------------|---Austria---------------------------- A Ven - TYR |A VIE - Gal FAIL A Rom - VEN |A Bud - RUM F Nap - ION |F Tri - ADR ---Russia---------------------------------------------------------------------- A WAR - Gal FAIL | A Mos - UKR | F Sev - BLA | F StP (sc) - GOB | ----------------------------------------- POSITIONS Austria: 3 A Vie Rum F Adr England: 3 A Edi F Nts Nws France: 3 A Mar Bur F Mid Germany: 3 A Kie Boh F Hol Italy: 3 A Tyr Ven F Ion Russia: 4 A War Ukr F Bla GoB Turkey: 3 A Bul Smy F Con ============================================================================== That's it folks! Due to a low demand, I seem to have skipped issues 92 and 93, as other people are already publishing issue 94. No submissions were received from BISMARCK or JACAL. Cheers! Lord Valentine Up