WSGB COCHRANE Summer '01 Press From: ckd@bu-pub.bu.edu (Christopher K Davis) Date: Wed, 11 Oct 1989 04:04:08 +0000 SUMMER '01 RESULTS: No moves, no results. SUMMER '01 PRESS ------ BOSTON (GM) - EDITORIAL Lots of good press this season and last. Keep it up; the press is one of my favorite parts of *any* Dip game, and even more so in Gunboat. ------ Turkey: The Sultan is denying rumors that a battle has been fought in the Black Sea. "...In fact the Russians were conducting joint naval maneuvers with us when a sudden storm came up and sunk several ships." ------ Germany: The Kaiser's peaceful wine-tasting expedition to the French wine country was rudely interrupted yesterday as French soldiers opened fire on the Kaiser's unarmed entourage. The German leader was unwounded, but hastily spirited away, back into the Fatherland. Outraged by this monumental display of French discourtesy, the Kaiser has called on all civilised nations to condemn the French as "rude bastards, and they stink, too!" ------ Russia: Marshal Budenny of the 1st Valiant Red Army congratulates the Austrian Emperor on the efficient Warsaw-Bucharest railway. "The revolutionary troops did not exhibit even the slightest desire to disembark from the train in Galicia, so comfortable were the coaches" he said. The Combined Soviet Training Command reported that the artillery practice performed by the joint operation of the Ukrainian Army and the Black Sea Banner Fleet was purely an exercise and no shells actually landed on Romanian soil. "On? no, I wouldn't say ON, per se," said General Chekhov, "but we won't mention aerial bursts, will we?" A Pravda editorial today applauded the benign supervision of the Scandinavian countries by the combined educational efforts of England, Germany and the Soviet Union. It expressed concern for the insufficient sailing experience of the Norwegian people and hoped strongly that the English would contribute their considerable NAUTICAL expertise rather than any field sports. "If the freedom-loving Norwegian people are not sufficiently versed in the fine sport of SAILING, the recreational department of the Soviet navy would be happy to assist." The General Secretary of the Party expressed his continued satisfaction with the German-Soviet exchange pact. "Bavarian beer is the perfect chaser for ice-cold vodka," he said. "We only wish that the German Economic Bureau would obtain some fine after-dinner liquers, such as Cognac." ------ Germany: German diplomats continued to work overtime in London as news of Edward's ascension to the throne reached Berlin. Since the recent economic collapse of the Danish government, the "Danish question" has become an issue. The Kaiser has reportedly asked His Majesty the Prime Minister, Edward Rex VII, to permit him a free hand in attempting to stabilize the crumbling state of affairs in Copenhagen. In return, the Kaiser has offered the steadfast alliance of the German people. ------ Well-placed sources recently informed this reporter that Italy and Turkey are coordinating an attack upon Austria. Hitting high and low, was the term used to describe the grand strategy. ------ Russian officials categorically denied western allegations that the Czar has been fluoridating vodka exports. "It's the only explanation for the 22 bizarre case histories of remote mind-control I have!" exclaimed one researcher who insisted on being identified, but whose name we refused to put in print. ------ Rising coffee prices in the Soviet Union are resulting in nationwide panic. Hordes of armed civilians are reported to be rushing to and fro searching for strong black coffee. In many cases these mobs have turned violent in their search for the national hangover remedy. ------ Remember--Fall moves due 11:59pm EDT on Wednesday! -- Christopher Davis, BU SMG '90 <ckd@bu-pub.bu.edu> <smghy6c@buacca.bitnet> "Technology is dominated by those who manage what they do not understand." Up