Diplomacy zine -- Chapter Four From: Eric_S_Klien@cup.portal.com Date: Wed, 15 Nov 1989 06:09:44 +0000 Issue #114 of ELECTRONIC PROTOCOL: *********************************************************************** This is a special chapter four. Chapter four will be standard starting tommorrow. Today's special chapter has one game and one article. *********************************************************************** Winter '00 of the game PETAIN (BNC number not known) (GM is ssmith@ms.uky.edu/Scott Smith We have yet one more proposal to vote on. It has been proposed that the deadline for moves be changed to 10 PM (EST) Saturdays rather than 10 PM (EST) Sundays. (This will not affect Spring 1901 moves, they are still due 10 PM (EST) Sunday 19 November -- this is also the deadline for this vote.) A majority vote will decide the deadline. No vote received is a vote for Sunday. On the other two issues, the votes have been tallied and the results are: Non-DIAS 5 DIAS 2 (We will play non-DIAS.) No black press 4 Black press 3 (We will not have any black press.) ----- NIT POSITIONS: Austria: A Bud Vie F Tri England: A Yor F Edi Lon France: A Mar Par F Bre Germany: A Ber Mun F Kie Italy: A Rom Ven F Nap Russia: A Mos War F Sev StpS Turkey: A Con Smy F Ank ----- PRESS: [I leave it to you to figure out which are white, which are grey, and which are telling the truth.] Geneva: Swiss observers anxiously await the start of hostilities. They expect fighting to commence in the spring. It is hoped that the war will be over quickly, but with the massive forces now mobilizing to do battle the Great Powers seem ready to fight on into the next century. (AP) Paris - Napoleon XIX is studying at a university in the U.S.A. Before he left France, he ordered his army not to confront with any other major powers in Europe. (AP) Tunis - A riot occurred recently and Italian government is going to handle it, after being requested for help for more than 3 times in 1 day. (AP) New York - Rumors abound of an English invasion of Turkey. Also mentioned are a Russian invasion of France and a proposal for a seven-way draw. (AP) Tokyo - A peace treaty will be signed between France and Italy in February 1901. (AP) - The Royal (British) Navies prefer to rest at home rather than go fishing in the North Sea. Vienna (Free Associative Press) The Austrian Emperor today announced that rumors of the forced unification of all Germanic speaking peoples is just that. A rumor. However, like all rumors, it is very interesting. Vienna Probe (All the news that is fit to primp) The opposition rag, the Vienna Probe, reported today that the Hapsburg emperor Wilhelm Gotterdamerung is extremely upset with reports that the Turkish Ruler is a pederast. The emperor is reported as saying "Such perversion cannot be tolerated in the civilized community, outside of the English ruling family, of course." MOSCOW: (Novosti Press) His Imperial Majesty the Czar, the Imperial family and the court moved here today at the onset of winter in St. Petersburg and the possibility of an outbreak of hostilities in Europe. The Empress was disappointed at having to cancel her planned visit to San Francisco at the head of a Russian relief mission to help earthquake-stricken Californians. Envoys have been dispatched to all the capitals of Europe in an effort to maintain the peace. The Czar has personally appealed to the heads of all the Great Powers to keep calm amidst the mounting tensions. However he sounded a more somber note at a rally in the central square of the Kremlin. Addressing a gathering of thousands of cheering subjects, he said: "Holy Russia will stand by her treaty obligations and by her special destiny as Protector of the Slavs. The Sultan of Turkey is requested to join in our efforts to prevent an Austrian hegemony from enveloping the Balkans. The Germanic powers are warned that Russia will resist any efforts to undo the partition of Poland, or disturb in any way the status quo in Central Europe. Russia offers them peace, but stands armed to defend her vital interests". In other developments, Grand Duke Dmitri is mobilizing the northern fleet in St. Petersburg, and will set sail as soon as the frozen Neva thaws in the spring. Vienna Probe (All the news that is fit to primp) Zja Zja mania sweeps the US. The young Hungarian actress Zja Zja Gabor began her first tour of the United States this week. Reportedly she is playing to huge crowds who receive her with open arms. The Hapsburg empire is extremely proud of it's citizens who constantly strive to maintain world peace and harmony. The Leech'n'Sting Tatler ------------------------ France and Italy have agreed to a treaty of mutual friendship and co-operation. Piedmont is to be no-man's-land and France will not build a fleet in Marsielles without Italy's permission. The Turkish government signed an agreement with England allowing for free and unhindered travel between their two countries. An anonymous spokesperson was quoted as saying, "We want to be friends with all our neighbors". Our correspondent in London reports that the official British reaction was a terse "No comment", but a visiting pianist at Buckingham Palace was heard playing "Moscow nights" to great applause. Monaco - The winning lotto numbers for the bi-annual 2.2 billion franc Monaco State Lottery: 02 19 22 23 34 45 47 51. Vienna (Free Associative Press) Austria today issued a press release saying that the Emperor sincerely wishes peace with the Italians and the Russians. The Emperor is is also reported as saying that these are not the helpless pleas of a widow begging a landowner not to forclose on the mortgage. Any violation of Austrian borders will be punished severely and immediately. ----- Remember: Spring 1901 moves, and votes on the Saturday/Sunday proposal, are due 10 PM (EST) Sunday 19 November. GM comments: *********************************************** Transmitted via scribe rlg@ai.mit.edu/Bob Givan *********************************************** Taken from Voice of Doom #85: How Not to Get a Puppet By Bruce Linsey So it's midgame and by gosh, you're doing a pretty decent job of growing. But how much easier the battle would become, if only you could get that little country nearby to order his pieces to suit your needs. The balance of power that currently exists would tip appreciably in your favor if he would use his one or two units to further your ends. Your situation is delicate, though; most players don't like to think they are being "used", and yet, that is precisely what you are trying to accomplish. I can offer some good suggestions on what _not_ to do, taken from my own experiences in the game Swedish Roundabout, which recently ended in Europa Express. Three times in that game, I tried to acquire a puppet, using different negotiational strategies each time. Three times, my attempts failed miserably. I have studied my correspondence regarding all of these attempts, and have arrived at some conclusions as to what I did wrong, and how I might have gotten what I wanted had I handled matters differently. You folds being the loyal, screaming, _paying_ subscribers that you are; I may as well let you learn from my mistakes. The first situation I shall describe was the entry into the game of John Kador as a standby for a three-center Turkey. My France was fighting a strong Austro-Italian alliance for control of the Med, and I wanted Turkish cooperation (not quite puppethood) in achieving a breakthrough. The Letter My letter to John opened with a rather lengthy (and not totally factual) history of the game, presented, as I put it, "so you can have a little more of an idea how things stand." Then I went on to talk about the present: "...This game is _far_ from over for you. It will take some doing for you to come back, but it's not impossible. To do this, you must overcome an Austria twice your size, not to mention Italy. But here's where I come in! I want to pick up where I left off with the previous Turk. Would you be willing to help me take down the other two Med powers? Logically, it's your best option as well as mine---they are the players who are threatening to take you out. And I don't relish the thought of fighting them singlehanded. I'm hoping to take the Ionian Sea, and once I do then the camel's back will be broken. With you help, I have a good chance of success in 1 1/2 or 2 game years. "What's in it for you? If you can stay friendly with Russia, I can help you turn the tide versus Austria. I expect to get three centers from Italy: and while it may seem far-fetched now, you _could_ stand to gain several centers in the Balkans. If you are able to reach that point, your options will of course be greater in number than they are now. "And _please_ don't feel that you're ultimately cutting your own throat if you aid the western triple. My eventual choice of an ally will be based on who I feel will be easiest to deal with in the long run. The triple won't last forever, and when it breaks I can assure you that I will consider you as a long-range ally. To be even more blunt about it...((I then went on to badmouth Garry Hamlin, the English player.)) ...So, how about it? At this point you can do little but stand and defend, but when I get in position to help you out, would you care to try and make a go of it?..." The Result: John never wrote back to me in this game, though he did call and acknowledge receipt of the letter. He did, indeed, continue to fight his aggressors until he was eliminated, but I chalk this up more to mortal necessity than to what I had written. We never really cooperated, and in his endgame statement I finally discovered what his reaction was: "...I was impressed by the volume of mail that immediately came my way. Everyone, it seemed, was after my heart and mind. Soon I discovered that the part of my anatomy that they really wanted was considerably lower on my body than my heart or mind." What was Wrong with the Letter? I never achieved the cooperation I was hoping for with John because, I suspect, my approach was too aggressive and too insulting to his intelligence. John being a player of considerable more experience than I, there is no way he could have found my attempts to pass off my requests for help as a mutually beneficial arrangement to be at all plausible. Hell, I even said outright that I was trying for the Ionian. What room for expansion did that leave him? "Several centers in the Balkans" was farfetched to the point of absurdity, and I suspect John knew it. And my badmouthing of Hamlin when in fact the Franco-English alliance was clear as day probably reinforced whatever fears John had that once French fleets reached the Ionian, they would continue to steam merrily eastward. What I Should Have Done I should have been less pushy and less extravagant in my predictions of what Turkey might gain out of all this. A far better strategy would have been to sound him out first---where did _he_ feel his chief threat lay, and what did _he_ want to do? No great harm would have been done had I suggested that we "cooperate in taking the Ionian", rather than mentioning point-blank that I intended to get it. Even silence on my part might have been preferable to the above letter; the natural Turkish reaction in this situation would be to fight off Austria/Italy, and he might have come to _me_ asking for help eventually. The game the proceeded rather favorably for me, and soon Bob Osuch's Italy was on the ropes. i wrote a quick letter which briefly mentioned the possibility of puppethood, and he wrote back that he would be agreeable. Whereupon I wrote one of the most horrendous letters I've ever written. The Letter "...I'd like to discuss your offer to puppet. I must admit that I didn't think you'd agree to it, since I thought your desire to get revenge against me might be stronger than your desire to live. The fact that you're willing to change your course of action to help both yourself and me, despite all the garbage I've given you pup till now, increases my respect for you as a player---I think 95% of all players would just suicide out against me at this point. "Let me get specific about what I'd like, then. First, I will make a commitment to you: you will survive until this game ends, unless certain unlikely circumstances make it necessary for me to wipe you out. I'll get into those in just a minute. But, to add to my part of the deal, you are also free (per your request) to write any press that you wish, including goads at me. The more, the merrier. "Now, here's the help I need from you. First, I will ask for your cooperation from the standpoint of orders. What I will ask you to do will naturally serve my interests as well as, or more than, yours; but I will not ask you to do anything which might lead to your own elimination either. Secondly, I may at some point need your help from a _diplomatic_ standpoint. That is, I may need to ask you to vote a certain way on a proposal or even say something to a certain player for me. I wouldn't ask you to way out of your way in this regard, of course, but I may need your assistance in this respect somewhere down the line. "I must issue a warning: I would regard your failure to submit the correct orders as a termination of our agreement, and this holds even if you make a miswritten move or an NMR. While I _think_ you're sincere, I'm just saying this so you'll know where I stand. "I wrote on the previous page about certain unlikely situations where I would find it necessary to eliminate you. One is described above: if you don't submit the orders I ask for. Two: if I discover that you are betraying me diplomatically: i.e. passing my letters or trying to get another player to stab me. Three: if your remaining centers are absolutely the only means for me to achieve a desired end in the game. That is, if it should happen that I need your last center to avoid being stalemated at 17 centers, then I would let you know that I must have it. This, of course, is extremely unlikely; I'm just clearing it with you in case it should occur. "You may be wondering if I will ever let you _grow_ again. I am not opposed to this, but will permit it only if I can do so without jeopardizing my own well-being. In fact, it is not probably that I will be able to let you get above 1 or 2 centers, and I must make sure you're aware of this at the start. In fact, if you are sincere, you will be down to 1 center after this turn unless you aren't stood out of Trieste, or if you get Greece. "OK, what I need from you this turn is A Ven-Tri, A Rom-Nap, F Ion-Gre, F Eas-Smy. Given these moves by you, I will be taking Ven and Tun (which I will do anyway) and Rom (which would have had to wait a year had you not offered to work with me). You will keep Naples permanently, unless you are compensated elsewhere. It is important that you have Naples instead of, say, Venice, because I can assure that another player won't be able to grab Naples; whereas Randolph ((Germany)) or Dick ((Austria)) might conceivably wipe you out if you sole supply center was Venice..." The Result Did anyone _not_ guess it? Bob failed to deliver my requested moves that turn, and fought me tooth and nail until the end of the game. What was Wrong with the Letter? Jesus Christ on a crutch! I could write a whole _book_ on what was wrong with the above letter. If Bob was sincere to begin with, that letter was certainly the best way to change his mind. The suggestions themselves were airtight: he really _could_ survive in Naples without fear of destruction from an outside power. But, oh, the condescending, demanding tone that I used! Most of the stuff above would have been much better left unsaid. When someone offers to puppet for you, it should go without saying that he will make the moves you want, will not try to induce others to stab you, etc. There was no need for me to go into all that painful detail about how Bob would have to obey my wishes in every particular. As for the mentions that I might eventually need his help diplomatically or that i _might_ have to take his last center to avoid being stalemated at 17; those were bridges best crossed if and when I got to them. Nobody, let alone a player of Bob's experience, likes to be bossed around that much. Even a puppet needs freedom to enjoy the game. I was, in this letter, attempting to control Bob's every action. I didn't leave him any room to breathe. And so, if he really did plan to help me, I lost him. What I Should Have Done I should have said something along these lines: "I accept your offer to puppet. You will survive in Naples till the game's end as no one else can take it from you. Please make the following moves this turn..." Now wouldn't that have been a much better letter? The game proceeded, and I decided that I would like to get Bob Olsen's on-center Russia (he owned Ankara) on my side. I struck up a novel plan... The Letter "Sit down before you read this. I'm about to make you the god-damndest suggestion you've ever heard (outside of JUPITER). I'm basing this on your last letter, which has led me to a few conclusions: 1) you're not totally opposed to helping me; you just don't see much point to it; 2) you're more pissed at Dick than you are at me; 3) you either want somebody to take your last center, or to let you grow larger; 4) you are going to move to the Aegean this turn regardless of any request I may make; and 5) you'd like to inject just a bit more excitement into the game. Let me know if any of those are wrong, but I gather that they're all pretty close to true. "The suggestion I have now is compatible with _all_ 5 of my assumptions. Without further preliminaries, it is this: move F Con-Aeg this turn, and then, in S '06, _help_me_convoy_an_army_from_Apulia_to_Constantinople! (Well I told you to sit down!) Let me review how this jibes with the five points above: 1) you would certainly be helping me, 2) you would be helping me put the screws on Dick, 3) from Constantinople, I would be in a position to take Ankara _if_ this is what you _really_ want; however, I'd rather be able to support you into Bulgaria (SC) in F '06 and conceivably (though not probably) you might _eventually_ take back Sevastopol. not likely; you'll probably end up having to work with one unit, but with my help you might even grow center-wise. I would view this as preferable to my taking Ankara, by the way, if only because the latter would be wasting valuable time in my fight against Krud ((Dick)). I'd do it if you want, though, 4) this is consistent with your upcoming move to the Aegean, and 5) it almost goes without saying that this will add excitement to a dull game. And I'd _love_ to see Dick's face if we pull it off! "This will take trust on both sides; if you say you'll do it and then don't I'll have wasted two units next season (A Apu and F Ion), while on the other hand I could stab you by moving into Ankara the following season. _But_i_won't_ unless you ask me to. Your fleet would be of far more value to me than any unit I could build in Marseilles, and I'd just as soon help you take Dick's centers, and grab a few for myself. "So is _this_ exotic enough to capture your interest?..." The Result It almost worked! I cannot resist quoting part of Bob's reply, to illustrate the delightful style he always maintained in his letters: "What a degraded, disgusting, perverted, sinister, deviant, farfetched, ridiculous proposition! What am I, some kind of brainless toady, and a scoundrel too, who would toady to someone who would go so far as to put game propaganda in his zine, and, yes, to lie to a fellow-player? What, should I descend to whatever nether level you and your degenerate kind currently inhabit? "Well...maybe. "Your assumptions about my attitude to the game are correct, point by point. And the very stupidity of your suggestion is a great recommendation. About the only objection I have is that doing this would make the game a little _too_ easy for you. Recently I was discussing who was a good player with Langley, and I said to him, "I can't tell if BRUX is any good, or not---he's had such an easy time of it in Swedish Roundabout that I can't tell!" I mean, talk about your free rides! A couple of strategically placed Big Lies and you just walk into the whole board. It's really ridiculous. I'd be embarrassed if I were you; in fact, I suggest you resign right now in order to save yourself the disgrace of such an easy win. "As for your proposal...well. It's tempting, because it is so very ridiculous. I do have some feeling of responsibility toward Crud, however---after all, he's one of the few people who has not attacked me in the game. And he has a very clever way of not having to tell lies; he just never says anything. In this particular case, I do have some time to decide, so here's my decision: I'm going to defer action, and let my dear friend Crud determine what I do. No I'm not going to ask the dear boy-s permission---I am going to give him a chance to save himself. If before the deadline for whatever season this is supposed to occur (i.e. next season), Dick writes me a letter, any letter, then I won't do it; but in the meantime I'll write preliminary orders to convoy your army like you say, and let them stand until Crud gives me some reason to change them. This is a most satisfactory solution! Even as one might let a blind man "save" himself by reading a passage out of a book, so I will let Crud save himself if he can overcome the deficiencies of his play! I like it!" Alas, four letters from Russia later (in a letter that was labeled "From: the Viceroy of Vacillation To: The Bambino of Bruxism"), Olsen finally decided not to go through with the convoy. And he supported Austria for the rest of the game. What was Wrong with the Letter? Actually, my letter to Bob wasn't nearly as bad as those I sent to Turkey or Italy earlier in the game. Olsen, like me, is the type of guy who would enjoy doing something totally absurd just for laughs, especially with the game out of reach. However, I wouldn't recommend making such a suggestion to a more serious player. It pays also to walk on eggs in this sort of situation; my suggestions could easily have been passed on to my English ally and presented as evidence that I wanted to go for the win. (To cover myself, I had alerted England to the fact that I intended to try and get Russian help, though i didn't go into specifics at the time.) What I Should Have Done Welll...now that I think about it,there wasn't a whole lot wrong with my letter to Russia, given all the circumstances. i'd probably do it exactly the same way if I had to do it again. Out of all these examples can be drawn some general conclusions about how _not_ to get a puppet: 1. Don't be pushy. Make suggestions, and if the puppet-to-be is interested he'll respond with some of his own. Don't try to control his every action as this will increase his desire to strike back at you. Pull his strings, but don't choke him. 2. Don't promise unreasonable riches to your potential puppet, unless he's the sort of fellow who can be very easily duped. The more credible he finds your statements the likelier he is to go along with you. 3. Don't condescend. Just because you have a better position than he does in this game doesn't make you a better player than him---and even if you are, keep it to yourself. Very few people like to be overtly treated as the inferior member of a partnership. Keep these points in mind next time you're trying to get a puppet. Hey, I don't mind if you Doomies learn from my mistakes. That's why I write these things, right? I am enjoying moderating this zine, keep that mail coming! Eric Klien Up