Diplomacy zine -- Chapter Three From: Eric_S_Klien@cup.portal.com Date: Fri, 27 Oct 1989 23:06:36 +0000 Issue #109 of ELECTRONIC PROTOCOL: ************************************ And now I am caught up in my issues! ************************************ Chapter One contains: NAVARONE, BLITZKRIEG, OPERATION OVERLORD, GETTYSBURG, and HMS HOOD And is published by Daybell@aludra.usc.edu/Donald Daybell Chapter Two contains: DRAGONSLAYER, DOUGHBOY, BISMARK, COLD WAR, JACAL, and TRENCHFOOT And is published by Tedward@cs.cornell.edu/Ted Fischer ------------- Chapter Three ------------- Autumn and Winter '03 of the game TANNENBURG (BNC number 1989HZ) (GM is ebrosius@lucy.wellesley.edu/Eric Brosius) Not Received. Spring '02 of the gunboat game VERDUN (MNC number 1989AZrb32) (GM is sccs6069@iruccibm.bitnet/Michael O'Regan) Not Received. Fall '15 of the 1914 variant ENTENTE (MNC number 1989IJrv17) (GM is matt@oddjob.uchicago.edu/Matt Crawford) Due next Wednesday. Fall '02 of the Blind variant MULHOUSE (MNC number not known) (GM is barry@vax1.acs.udel.edu/Barry T. Fausnaugh) I know they have reached or passed this season, but have not got results. Fall '01 of the game DAWN PATROL (BNC number 1989II) (GM is sinhaa@mcmaster.ca/Anand Sinha) Due next Sunday Autumn and Winter '02 of the game RATATOSK (BNC number 1989IJ) (GM is jall@diku.dk/Mogens Jallberg) England: -------- Builds F Lon France: ------- Nothing Germany: -------- Builds A Ber Italy: ------ Builds A Ven Russia: ------- Nothing Turkey: ------- Builds A Con, A Ank Austria-Hungary: ---------------- Retreats: A Bud -> Gal A Rum -> Ser Builds -2: A Ser disbanded, F Adr disbanded Fall '01 of the game BUSHIDO (BNC number not known) (GM is ronin@cory.berkeley.edu/Sam Parazette) [] - indicates unsuccessful move ITALY ===== F Ion-Tun A Tyr-Vie [A Ven-Tri] Supply Centers -------------- Nap, Rom, Tun, Ven, Vie Builds ------ F Nap A Rom position -------- A Ven, A Vie, F Tun, F Nap, A Rom RUSSIA ====== F Bot-Swe A Gal S ITALIAN A Tyr - VIE F Rum H A Ukr S F Rum. Supply Centers -------------- Mos, Stp, War, Sev, Swe, Rum Builds ------ A Stp A Mos position -------- A Ukr, F Rum, F Swe, A Gal, A Stp, A Mos AUSTRIA-HUNGARY =============== FIRST VIENNESE ARMY RETREATS HOME (AP) - Called upon to defend their home, the First Viennese Army has hurriedly left the Public Works Project of Trieste to defend the Viennese border from Italian and possibly Russian attack. General Brimley had this to say: "Sometimes your best friends turn out to be your worst enemies. Just so happens that my mother's brother's uncle is high up in the Italian court, and his son-in-law commands the Second Division of the First Polish Army. If I ever see 'em again, I'll cut off both their ball sacks and let 'em feast on each other's nuts. Put that in your oatmeal and chew it." *** UNSUCCESSFUL: BOUNCE BACK *** NAVY PUTS TRAINING TO USE (AP) - Responding to the threat of Italian invasion, the Imperial Navy is returning to Trieste, supported by the First Budapesti Army now stationed in Serbia. Admiral Uri Geller expects to find intense resistance from Italian forces: "I have spent many nights lying awake after seeing dreamlike visions in my sleep, visions of the Italian advance, but not once have I seen a vision of the fall of Trieste. Budapest and Vienna, of course, are another matter entirely." *** BACK UP *** Supply Centers -------------- Bud, Tri, Ser position -------- A Ser, F Alb, A Tri FRANCE ====== A Bur -> Bel A Spa H F Mid -> Por Supply Centers -------------- Bre, Par, Mar, Bel, Spa, Por Builds ------ F Bre A Par A Mar position -------- A Bel, A Spa, F Por, F Bre, A Par, A Mar ENGLAND ======= F Norwegian Sea -> Barents Sea A Yorkshire -> Norway F North Sea Convoys A Yorkshire -> Norway Supply Centers -------------- Edi, Lip, Lon, Nwy Builds ------ F Edi position -------- F Bar, A Nwy, F Nts, F Edi GERMANY ======= Kiel moves to Holland Munich Recovers from the Oktoberfest Denmark Watches "clockwork orange". That means *HOLD* Supply Centers -------------- Ber, Hol, Den, Kie, Mun Builds ------ A Kie A Ber position -------- F Den, A Hol, A Mun, A Kie, A Ber TURKEY ====== A Bul - Gre F Con - Bul (South Coast) A Ank H Supply Centers -------------- Ank, Con, Smy, Bul, Gre Builds ------ A Con F Smy position -------- A Ank, F Bul, A Gre, A Con, F Smy ===== PRESS ===== Austria-Hungary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- VICTOR RETURNS!!! (AP) - Victor Schwarzenegger. Captured by Polish troops. Chained to the pillars of the Imperial Spa. Approaching death by hypothermia. . . but in a move not even the biblical Samson could pull off, Victor yanked down the solid marble pillars and escaped into the night. The Spa collapsed on the entire third division of the First Polish Army, killing all instantly. Victor, still naked, hijacked a Polish Infantry bus and made for the Viennese border. Under heavy fire, and after losing the rear end of the front-wheel- drive bus to a tank shell, Victor drove off a bridge, jumped out of the flaming bus in mid-air, and executed a perfect swan dive into the frigid depths. Stealthily avoiding enemy search patrols, Victor resurfaced 300 meters down- stream, accepted clothes and skis from a Galician patriot, and continued on to Vienna under cover of the moonless night. At a parade in his honor, Victor was able to complete only a single sentence before the crowd erupted into deafening applause. "People of my country -- I will pump -- you up!" RUSSIANS AND TURKS VIE FOR SERBIAN SUPPORT (HP) - After helping the rightful Serbian Government back into power this summer, the First Infantry of Budapest was again beset with requests for assistance, this time from the Czar of Russia and the Sultan of Turkey. Given the Czar's penchant for violating agreements, the Emperors decided to give him some of his own medicine. However, for reasons which the Emperors did not elaborate, the dosage to be administered was quite moderate, taking the form of a promised support which in actuality was withheld. The Russian side of the deal was to retreat from Galicia, which the Emperors do not expect the Czar to honor. BUDAPEST EVACUATED (HP) - The prescence of Russian forces in nearby Galicia has forced Emperor Franz to call for an evacuation, with all deliberate speed, of the area surrounding Budapest. Evacuees have been streaming across the Serbian border in droves, headed for the only territory in the Empire where their status as non-casualties may be assured. Turkish forces in nearby Bulgaria have reportedly been ordered to stand their ground, and thus will not pose a threat to the security offered by Serbia. Emperor Franz: "Given our current situation, there is simply no way we can defend our proud city. I wish it were not so, but we will have to proceed purely on the basis of our negotiations with Russia." It is not known if the Emperor will vacate his palace on the Danube. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Versailles-The King still awaits replys to His Invitations. Madrid-Units of His Catholic Majesty's Royal Armed Forces have taken up residence in our fair city. This paper has learned that leading military figures are asking for asylum in our fair country. One battallion commander who asked not to be identified has been quoted as saying, "We are afraid to return without fulfilling His Majesty's Instructions. But there is not a single orange jack-o-lantern pinata stuffed with licorice bats in this entire country. He will be very displeased if we fail." The Azores-The Spanish First Fleet left before dawn today without ceremony, slipping out silently into the dark waters of the Atlantic. No explanation has been offered for the sudden departure of these ships; the crew's planned leave was secretly cancelled last night. Though no official explanation has been offered, rumour has indicated that the sudden disappearance of the ships may be related to the huge bar bill submitted to the Admiral-in-Chief yester- day afternoon. The Admiral was reportedly "sick" and unavailable for comment at press time. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- TURKEY ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- In order to protect the fun loving free citizens of Greece and Bulgaria, the Sultan was pleased to announce today that Turkey's Army and Navy have made good will visits to these countries. Now that these two countries have been liberated, the Sultan has declared a massive celebration to which he specifically did not invite the Courts of Europe. This was due to the observation that when Hans and Franz, Emperors of Austria and Hungary, invited all of Europe to the Viennese Opera, all of Europe actually tried to come and they brought their troops with them. ----------------- WASHINGTON (UPI) - Late Winter, 1901: The State Department announced today that they had just noticed that war had broken out in Europe almost a year ago. They became alarmed when they noticed that every major supply center in Europe was under the control of a major European power. Through careful analysis they were able to trace this back to a war which seems to have started early this year. They still have not been able to figure out what caused this unexpected conflict. They were puzzled by the fact that all seven major European countries seem to have simultaneously mobilized. Initial intelligence reports indicate that the likely winner of any conflict in Europe would be Austria-Hungry so the President (who always likes to support a winner) has proposed a goodwill visit to Vienna. Fall '01 of the game HUGO (BNC number not known) (GM is willis@trwind.ind.trw.com/Willis Marti) Game delayed by Earthquake until next Sunday. This is real funny considering that the game was named after a natural disaster! Spring '01 of the gunboat game VERSAILLES (MNC number not known) (GM is sccs6016@iruccibm.bitnet/Gearoid Casey) Not Received. GM comments: I finally am caught up on my activities (finished a script, a magazine article, and even some additional health related paperwork), so I can give you a report on how we're doing. This zine now has 130 players and my paper zine has 30 players. This zine is running 22 games and my paper zine is running 4 games. 23 guest GMs are currently helping out! Note that I count people on waiting lists as players, and I count games that I have organized as running. My paper zine currently needs one more person for its next game and my electronic zine has a couple games that would get started with another 1-3 players. Check my message "Diplomacy game opening!" in rec.games.pbm for details. With 1000 known Diplomacy players in the Canadian/U.S. hobby, we have passed the 10% of the population mark, and are nearing the 20% mark. Note that we don't have 160 Canadian/U.S. players -- we have more like 140 due to duplications and our additional players from England, Finland, Ireland, Sweden, Switzerland, The Netherlands, Denmark, and France. So it will take a major increase of players for us to hit the 20% mark before the year ends. But we have a chance! I would really like to increase our amount of international players. It would be really neat to have a Diplomacy game which each country is played from someone from that country! Here is the beginning of the lastest issue of BTDT: Been There, Done That is an approximately monthly (more like every five weeks) postal gaming zine mostly devoted to the play of Diplomacy and its variants, but including the play of other PBM games, especially Railway Rivals. Reflecting its origins as a subzine meant to bridge the PBEM and PBM Dip hobbies, BTDT continues to be an electronically distributed subzine to both Ken Hill's The Armchair Diplomat, and Eric Klien's Electronic Protocol. The hard copy version is put together by me, transmitted electronically via phone lines to Ken Hill, who prints out the master copy on a HP LaserJet. THe masters are then mailed to me for xeroxing, collating, and mailing. There is therefore about five days to a week lag time between the end of production and mailing. To minimize the impact of this on the games, game results are mailed separately to the players. Diplomacy was invented by Allan Calhamer and is distributed by Avalon-Hill, and Railway Rivals was invented by David Watts, and was, until recently, distributed in the US by Games Workshop. BT,DT is available from the editor/publisher, Tom Nash, who resides at 5512 Pilgrim Road, Baltimore MD, 21214. (301) 254-2836 (don't call between 9 and 10 PM, It's my daughter's bedtime!). CIS PPN - 74676,3310. The cost is .75/issue, or $6/10 issues, for the incredible savings of $1.50 if you sub for 10 issues! All players and current standbys will continue to get the zine free, for now. Letters and articles will earn sub credit at the rate of .75/page. So play and/or write, and you get the damn thing free! Trades are actively solicited, but I am probably already trading with you for the Zine Register. Hey, that's cool, send me two copies of your zine in return for ZR and BTDT so I have more for those hungry novices who request the North American Zine Bank sample! Game Openings: Regular Dip: One final opening for now. Signed up: Zarr (paid), Hill (paid), Hodel (paid), Johnson (paid), and Moore. Two more needed. This is absolutely the last DIp opening until Choo Choo Coleman ends. Gunboat: Six signed up, one "expression of interest." Possibly one more needed. You are signed up if this is circled. You ___ are paid; ___ owe me a game fee. Postal Kremlin: Signed up: Wrobel (paid), Hill (paid), McKee, and Winship. Gamestart inside. I will still take one or two more, see the gamestart notice. Purest Dip: Hoffman, Reynolds (paid), Mann (paid), and McHugh (paid) signed up. need 3 more. Glenn Overby and Dan Hodel, let me know if you are in. Colonia VI: Gamestart inside. You are in if this circled. I have one standby specifically for Colonia, could use some more! Game Fee is $5 for all games except Colonia VI, which will be $10. NASH'S RAMBLINGS The ZR: AS most of you know, I have taken over the Zine Register and North American Zine Bank from Ken Peel. Although I've been distributing ZRs all summer, I have yet to put out a ZR of my own. The first one is due this month. I'm happy to say that I see no reason why it should not be out by the end of the month... no reason at all, save a 3 month old baby's who's been sick for 2 1/2 weeks, an incredibly demanding job which just got all the more crazy and insane, an October marked by having to leave town every Thursday night through Saturday night to teach a course across the state, and therefore having one day weekends, a wife getting ready to go back to work in a couple of weeks after maternity leave and us trying to work out the details of day care for two kids, and a vacation/job interview for both of us taking up the bulk of the last week of October. But hey, I really do expect to have it finished by the end of the month. This process of me doing BTDT in WordPerfect and sending the file via modem to Ken Hill for Laser printing, is really about keeping the ZR as visually attractive as possible. One of the problems in inheriting it from Kenny is that he raised the ante in terms of production values. While I feel strongly that the ZR should emphasize it's content, rather than flashy style, I didn't want the overall visual quality to drop dramatically. My dot matrix printer, while eminently serviceable, is, well, I believe "workman-like" is an appropriate way to damn with faint praise. Ken and I still have a few bugs in the system to work out, but hopefully, with this issue (depends on my time in the next day or two), this very issue you are reading will show some of the fruits of this set up as I begin to experiment with some scanned in graphics and different fonts and type sizes that Ken has available on his printer. I hope. This edition of the ZR will also represent, in many ways, a major revision in content. Seems like there has been a veritable explosion of new zines out there. Everything form the simple one game flyer to fairly elaborate and exciting new efforts. Coverage of overseas zines will be increased, as I'm seeing a lot more of them, and have received a number of reviews to add in from Pete Sullivan, a returning British pubber (and hey, Cathy Ozog... where's you know what???). I'm also chopping a bunch of deadwood. Zines I know have folded, as well as any that nobody has seen in aa while and the pubber hasn't responded to inquiries as to what is happening. Baseball Ramblings: Again, let me state that there is this, uh... lag time between production and distribution. Therefore, as I write this, the play offs have just ended, and it's a full four days before the Series starts. Hey, has anyone ever had as marvelous a Championship Series as Will Clark? I mean, the guy was incredible! Well, let's see how about Rickey Henderson in... when was it... oh yeah, that was this year too! All in all my predictions for the year, as documented in this zine, weren't too bad, as I picked both the As and the Blue Jays to win their divisions. The N.L. stumped me as I picked the disappointing Mets and the (what a chump I am...) hapless Dodgers. Rom Cameron, admit it, the Orioles stole the Dodgers blind in both trades this year! Yeah, it was exciting watching the Os, who had no business playing that well, take it down to the last weekend of the year. And painful to see the bullpen boot it away. I'd say "wait 'til next year," but I don't think it'll be any better for my two teams, the Os and Dodgers. The Os will not do as well next year (but then I picked 'em dead last this year, so what do I know), and the Dodgers face major reconstruction surgery. And an offense transplant. For the Series... ghod, it's hard to pick against the As. They have everything... speed, power, average, fielding, starting pitching, a bull pen, defense. But, here goes... if Will Clark stays hot, I'll go with the Giants. If not, it's a massacre. Can one player make that much difference? IN a Series he can! Anyone ever hear of Roberto Clemente, Graig Nettles, Brooks Robinson, or Reggie Jackson to name a few? Here it goes... a conditional prediction: if Clark gets a base hit his first time up, I pick the Giants. If not (including a walk or reaching base on an error in the "if not" category), I take the As. LETTERS Al Tabor: "I've located my copy of Trout Mask Replica! I'll swap for a tape with Safe as Milk and early Fugs. All I've got in the Fugs department is a tape of a very bad lp of It Just Crawled into My Hand, Honest. I can't yet testify to the quality of the TMR disk. I've been listening to a old tape of it I made before my brother borrowed it for a decade or so. The tapes so old it's got Bob Dylan singing, "Feel like I'm fixin to die", and saying "A lot of folks don't have much food on the table, just a lot of forks and knives and they gotta cut something" to fill out the back side. ((Alas... I don't have any Fugs. I will send you Safe As Milk, though I don't have a dubbing tape deck... oh well, I'll figure something out. Dick Martin says Trout Mask Replica *IS* out on CD, but I've never seen it, so send that cassette along!)) "There's a choo-choo game you should consider even though it run as a PBM business. I haven't played it but intend to as soon as my time frees up a bit. It's been getting raves from all participants. Its called Continental Rails. It use the whole US as a map. You get points for rail building, spanning areas first, and providing service to key cities. It also has a full blown stock market. You acquire your railroads by acquiring there stock or you can buy a private railroad and take it public or merge it. You have to defend your railroad against hostile take overs, short sales aimed at ruining you, etc. You also get points for money and can play your railroads straight or loot them and abandon the husk. It's run by Graaf Simulations who also designed Feudal Lords which PBM personage Tim Sullivan recommends as a game for folks who like mega-diplomacy. It apparently takes more dipping than either Diplomacy or Starweb which are the two mega-dip games I've played. I realize it may gall some to pay a set-up and be charged for each turn but that's the only way you'll get to play in a simulation of this complexity. These PBM business games are generally computer moderated and take a large amount of time to write and run. ((I have never played a professional PBM game. I have nothing against them in principle... I don't think all gaming should be "amateurly" run as a point of political faith, or anything. If someone puts that amount of time and effort into putting together a system of that level complexity, they ought to be compensated fairly. In fact, I think one of the general truths of our hobby is the way in which GMs and pubbers in general undersell themselves, their products, and their services. This may be perceived as being in conflict with my own pricing policy for game fees, and the fact I practically give away the zine to anyone who asks, but I'm new at this and just getting a feel for the nuances and issues involved. I do want to encourage an involved readership. I'd rather have everyone who gets it play, standby, or write, or trade, and in that way feel a sense of personal connection to the entire readership, then make back the bulk of my expenditures by charging more. At least as long as I get (usually) free xeroxing, After all, publishing this thing is my hobby. I may, nay will, I am sure, change many of my ideas and policies along the way, but this works for me now. But I digress. Again, I have nothing pre se against professional PBM fees. Simply, I have my hands full with PBM games, which I derive tremendous enjoyment from, without having to pay those fees, so why do so? However, Continental Rails sounds like my cup of tea, so perhaps, as a few other games come to conclusion, I'll investigate it. Your description of it also sounds a lot like a cross between EB or RR and 1830.)) "RE: Jimmy Williams. Encourage him! Can we get this guy a grant or something?" ((From the MacArthur Foundation perhaps?)) Garrett Schenck: "Hi Tom -- hopefully I'll include a couple of extra copies for your zine bank. I'm printing up about five extra this time, so I may even have some left over next time for you, you lucky guy. ((Good. I have received feedback from a couple of pubbers who send extra copies for the Zine Bank that they have gotten subbers/players that way. Phil Reynolds comes to mind immediately, because he mentioned it recently, but I know someone else said the same thing...)) What happened to the Brat Pack anyway? Your last issue fawned all over such obvious has-beens as Ken Peel, Ed Wrobel, Dick Martin, and even Bruce Linsey. Obviously, with several spectacular folds among the minions who up to now have provided the Brat Pack cannon fodder, you've decided to cut and run, joining forces with the same old crowd who that's controlled Dipdom for years. Tom, Tom, I was hoping for better then this! Can't you provide better leadership than this? "Seriously, I enjoy BTDT immensely, and am impressed by the amount of energy you are putting into things -- but you don't fool me. This seat on the DipCon committee has the look of a long planned conspiracy. I've played Kremlin too, ya know." ((I repent! You're right! I'm in danger here, on thin ice, losing my revolutionary zeal. No more boot licking! All old farts gratuitously slammed from now on! Martin - a fool! Linsey - senile! Wrobel - the very name makes me choke with disgust! And I haven't even gotten to von Metzke! Let us now praise the new blood! McKee and I are taking over the US hobby just like Doug Acheson has done in Canada! (then I stab McKee, again, and well... the rest is history!!!)) Jeff McKee (Wichita KS): "Tom, I'm only on page 4 and I'm already going bananas. First of all, Mickey misquoted me about what I said were "no-no's" in Dip. What I said (or, perhaps meant to say, you know me) is "Never open to Livonia with your FLEET as Russia!" Plus, you ought to know Mickey's writing style by now, sort of like mine, approximate (so to speak). If YOU want to open F StP(sc)-Lva as Russia, I'll play any country on the board in that game, the closer to you the better. ((Jeff, my point was that the Diplomatic element of Diplomacy is so complex, making the game itself that rich and diverse, that there are NO absolutes. Some "almost nevers" perhaps, but no nevers. The article I referred to by Mark Berch is called "The Livonian Lunacy: F StP-Lvn." The name itself proves your point, the content mine. Here is the situation. You as Russia are certain Germany will open F Kie-Den. You think he will not move A Ber-Kie (perhaps A Ber-Sil instead). Once in Bot what would you do... bouncing in Swe is too good for Germany, as it allows F Den to do the double duty of keeping Den for a build, and preventing you from getting Swe. Threaten to move to Bal and hope to slip into Swe, right? But why would Germany believe you? Few Russian players actually do it. Most threaten, then attempt Swe. The temptation is too great. Germany wants you out of Bal, and if you could convince him that you are indeed headed there, might do what German players almost never do, i.e. move F Den-Bal to bounce you. Berch's point is that regardless of what gets said, what actually gets done virtually every time, is the bounce in Swe. However, Germany would believe you if you were in Lvn. What the hell else are you going to do with that but move to Bal? So he is faced with the choice of conceding Bal to you, and keeping Den, or bouncing you in Bal. If you think he's gonna do that, hoping to keep you out of Bal while keeping Den, you can move to Bot in the Fall, he loses Den, and if you've moved A Mos-StP-Fin, you have the best shot at Swe you could get, in '02, with the starting presumption of a Spring '01 move F Kie-Den. Now, granted, this is a situation that won't come up this way all that often. I've played Russia, FtF, PBM, and PBEM perhaps 8 times and I have never opened F StP-Lvn. The odds are good that as long as I play Dip, I won't. The point is simply that the played as a Diplomatic, human game, rather than as a mere tactical one, there are situations where the unusual opening is precisely the best one. So I stand by my statement, never say "never" in Dip, even if it's a Russia F StP-Lvn in Spring 1901!)) "You can also put an army in Tunis if you want. It's useful to convoy to France or Turkey or wherever, sort of an intermediate stopover point. So, it sounds like I should have clarified what I was saying when I suggested that to Mickey. But if you are playing Italy or France and those two countries are fighting (as they, or others who have taken their place) often do after 1905), your position is not very good with an army in Tunis. If you put an army in Tunis and get attacked by fleets, you could have a really tough time getting it out of there. Again, you can put one there if you want, but please let me be the country that is attacking you! That single problem is what let Dave Lindeman in on the draw in C44 (E/F vs T). If France had taken Tunis with the fleet to begin with, Turkey would never have made it to Marseilles. But as it was, there wasn't enough support to go around to hold all of the waterways.) Much of the commentary I make about tactics comes from the Gamers' Guide. Perhaps I should be telling people to understand the geography of the board rather than to make or not make specific moves. ((Yeah, I basically agree with this one, but again, I wouldn't say "never." There must be some cases were it would be useful. I just can't think of one. The "Gamer's Guide," while certainly useful to the novice, reflects only Rod Walker's philosophy and gaming style. It is therefore very limited, and limiting as well. Ever try to get an A/T alliance (one I think can be very effective) with a relative novice who's read it? Forget it! They are often totally unwilling to try it simply because Rod didn't like it. Imagine if Conrad had written it... every novice in the game who got Austria would be attacking Italy in Spring '01! There are equally deserving strategic treatments for the novice... Masters of Deceit, Supernova, the Dip World anthology of Berch's articles on tactics, etc. The best advice, I believe, for the novice, is read 'em all, play out lots of fantasy games on your board, then don't be afraid to try anything, once. But always remember, as I believe Kathy Caruso said, it's a game of seven people, not seven countries.)) "You certainly deserve to be attacked in every game you play. But it's not because you're rated well, but rather because you are such an excellent player and should have no difficulty worming your way out of it (unless faced with extremely resilient opposition)! It works for me! "About ratings, I'd like to see the average rating per game on the Calhamer scale for TAD also. But, I still think the replacement positions need to be thrown out. ((I do too)). I've taken positions with no hope of drawing (simply because it was the right thing to do), but I am a ratings-conscious player too. I'd rather not be punished for this. Perhaps an average Calhamer rating for regular games and a cumulative rating for replacement games would be in order. "Smith and McKee both overslept and missed the Dipcon Society meeting. No wait, it was Aube and McKee that overslept. Smith was out eating something nutritious--no, he was finding a box in which he could federal express an ear of his popcorn to some impatient somebody somewhere. "You mean to tell me that all this time the BNCs have thought TAD was a PBM zine?? Good. That means there ain't no # signs by our games! Suffer, all you prejudiced PBM ratings people! "At least you're getting more honest in your old age. You put both "Jeff McKee" and "RRGTs" in the "What's Hot" column. I also noticed that my name has appeared at least 6 times so far and I'm only on page 10! Keep this up and you'll have to pay me royalties to use my name. ((Ahem... the first couple of MetaDiplomats were marked by mention of my name an average of 47 times. These will be remembered as Meta's golden issues. The last one had a measly 17 mentions (I really haven't counted if anyone is taking this seriously). And if you throw out Mickey's poem, it's really thin.)) I think a good number of your readers don't even know who I am! God knows everybody was asking me "who's this Mickey Preston?" my last issue. And, to George Mann goes out the burning question, "Who is George Mann?" "Suggest you offer "open press" in your gunboat game rather than press that disallows blatant negotiating. You're itching to get some negotiation into Gunboat, aren't you? Have you read the reports from the Gunboat game I'm running? It's one of the best press games I've seen in a while, and we just finished 1901!" Mickey Preston: "Greetings from the land of bluegrass! Of what mirth you wrought from my mailman as he delivers my TEDS, ((The Eccentric Diplomat -Ed.)) letters from Susan, and other Diplomatic goods - and out drops your BTDT zine in it's "Oakview Treatment Center" envelope. Yep, he knows I'm not quite in touch with reality, yet. "I was quite amazed at the latest BTDT - although becoming more professional with each issue, I noticed you didn't tread on your usual amount of toes. What gives? Baby Sam mellow out the GnashMaster? No soapbox to climb on this month? Tom, I expect so much more from you! Well, you did have a few glancing shots at Miller Numbers, a speech about anarchist/Brat Packers, but no real stinging rebuttals or chest pounding oratories. Que Pasa? ((Ouch! Et tu, Mickster? Similar feedback from you and Garret Schenck... I must look at it. Am I becoming, fat, complacent, mellow? I know I've lost my edge playing Dip. I've become positively mediocre recently. Perhaps fatherhood the second time around has mellowed me. More likely, it's exhausted me. No, I know. It's the ZR. I took it over from Ken Peel, and I caught Milquetoastism from him. I've been practicing my best Peel intonations: "Uh... while this zine is visually unappealing and there are quite a few GMing errors, well.. it's really not so bad, you know. I mean there a few things nice about it. Well... it rarely arrives postage due, for instance. Ummm... and the pubber's a real nice guy, so I hear." No, don't worry Mickey, I promise I will work hard at becoming more vicious, opinionated, hot headed, anything you want. OK?)) Peter Sullivan: "Hi, how's tricks? (Fine but she prefers to be called Tracey). I am writing this from within the environs of New College Durham, where my employers, the North Yorkshire County Council have sent me to start learning to be an accountant. It's currently lunch hour, but since it only takes me 10 minute to actually have lunch, I have time to kill. It's wither write & respond to BTDT #8, or read the next chapter of "Accounting for Beginners." Well, I don't think I'll have to toss up for that one! "I am apparently the British rep for World DipCon II - my appointment seems as shrouded in mystery as yours. Biggles ((huh?)) mentioned it to me, then R.J.W. ((Richard Walkerdine - a stalwart of the Brit hobby, though apparently in the process of burning out, and, I believe, the force behind the World DIpCon idea - Ed.)) printed in Mad Policy that he'd appointed me before flying off for a 3 week holiday. I tell you Tom, it's a good thing us young Turks are coming up to replace these inefficient old dinosaurs. "You should have gotten my aerogramme of reviews for the next Zeen Register ((I have... thanks!)). Hopefully this is going to complement the stuff you get from the lovely Ms. Ozog and any you do yourself ((ah yes, the stuff I've gotten from the lovely Ms. Ozog... WHAT STUFF THAT I'VE GOTTEN FROM THE LOVELY MS. OZOG? I HAVEN'T GOTTEN A BLESSED THING FROM THE LOVELY MS. OZOG!!!! Seriously, though, thanks. I just got the latest Mission From God today, and Iain and crew were terribly outdated and uh... thin, in their very brief section of American zines. Reviewing The Scribblerist as if it were a going concern is embarrassing. But that is the problem with overseas reviewing. Has it folded, or is it just stuck somewhere in the Twilight Zone of surface mail?)) "Loved the list of What's Hot and What's Not, and amazingly managed to catch most of the references. I shall probably steal the idea and do a British hobby hip guide in CMag. "How about a mention for my international game lists in CMag? I could do with a couple of more Americans in Dip and Railway Rivals. Hey come on folks, this is your chance to see the hon. Tom Nash get totally trashed in a game of international Railway Rivals. ((Sure Pete... Pete runs the fine, and typically British, zine C'est Magnifique. He published, I believe, 50 issues as a mainstream zine before, like the elusive Mark Lilleleht, deciding that there were too many other interesting things to do while a college student. So he folded responsibly, transferring his games save one, and continued CMag as a one game flyer for 20 more issues. Now that he's graduated, he's relaunched the zine on a large scale, lots of games, chat, letters, British hobby news, etc, and currently features waiting lists for international games of Railway Rivals (I'm signed up!) and Dip run to longer deadlines than his other game to allow for international play. It is available from him for a price I do not remember, at 27 Farrar Street, Darlington, England DL3 6RG. The best way, actually, to sub to British zines is to send some money, say $5 or so, to Paul Gardner, the American end of the International Subscription Exchange, and the name of the zine you want. Paul handles the transfer and changing of funds with the British (or Australian, Canadian, etc) rep of the ISE. Paul's address is 20 Spruce St., Brattleboro VT. 05301)). "Do you have any map preferences Tom? I'm thinking vaguely of New England, Chesapeake and Ohio, and the new Iowa map. This last one has one distinguishing feature, or should I say, lack of a feature. Well how many hills would you expect there to be on an Iowa map anyhow? ((Yeah I've heard of the hill-less Iowa map. Sounds intriguing. I'd play in any of those 3.)) "Tell David Orne he wants to try a Dip convention. I mean, I know you Americans take them seriously and actually play Diplomacy FtF at them (gad, how vulgar!, but if he comes to DixieCon/ DipCon/World DipCon, there'll be plenty of Brits to introduce him to the delights of R.R., Junta, Pit and all the other good convention games. ((Good, how'd you like to run the R.R. tournament. This is a serious question. See David Hood's question and my comment below a few pages. IN the U.S. the convention game of the year, outside Dip was Titan in '88, and definitely Kremlin in '89.)) "William Whyte is a Captain Beefheart fan ((figures!)). He also produces the strangest zeen of all time, NERTZ. (One issue was a mobius strip, another cut into thirds so you could "mix and match" pages, and another a strip of paper wound around a plastic spoon). I wonder if this Captain Beefheart addiction and zeen formatting are in any way related? I think we should be told. ((NERTZ is marvelous. It's wonderful. It's unique. I just got done writing a gushing review of it for ZR. It is the performance art masterwork of unbridled creativity in the all-too-same world of zines. I don't think I'd want to play in it... I mean when you get a year old copy of an issue with a note apologizing to all the subbers, saying, essentially, "gee, I typed, printed, and addressed this issue last year on vacation, and thought I mailed it... but gee, look what I just found cleaning my room," well... you know. But as a reading zine it has absolutely no compare!)) "Who is Jimmy Williams, and how much does his analyst earn? ((Jimmy is the William Whyte of the American hobby, but doesn't do a zine, rather expresses himself in postcards, MANY postcards, innumerable postcards, to players and GMs in games he's in, as well as the occasional letter of comment.)) "I'm not aware of any really big PBEM scene in Britain.We have two major electronic networks, Prestel (an info service with limited Email facilities), and Telcom Gold (an Email service with limited information facilities) ((And we now have Prodigy, a limited service with limited everything, that IBM is counting on American computer owners being dumb enough waste money on. Well as they say, nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American consumer)). There are a host of smaller services, all incompatible ((but of course)) as well as the amateur bulletin board scene. I have at times contemplated getting a modem, but the potential effect on my phone bill has always made me think again ((I play Dip on CompuServe, which involves no long distance charge, so the phone bill isn't effected. You pay the service for online time however, But that can be mitigated by a script driven automated communications program, and a GMing online credit.)). "As for the problems in copying the R.R. maps, it serves you Yankees right for using such odd paper sizes. The A4 size I'm using now is much better. Fold it in half along the long side and it remains the same shape. This can be useful when pasting up for photo reduction! "Some interesting choo choo articles but I think Ed Wrobel's was a bit of a cheat! Still is the poor boy is that desperate to get into print alongside Dick Martin... "You are absolutely right on with your comments regarding the returning of subs, and calling it mail fraud. And yet, and yet... yes I know we should all keep the money separate in order to be able to pay it back any time. But some people don't. ((Me for one. I don't keep it separate. But I'd still pay it back. Don't see the connection. As long as you know how much you owe folks what difference if it's in a separate account?)). And many messy folds coincide with periods of personal emotional and financial stress. Frankly, if someone is going to be in substantial financial trouble if they have to pay back mine and everyone else's sub money, I'd rather write the amount off. ((So would I, but I would ant to be given the choice. Maybe it's embarrassing or uncomfortable to write to your subbers and say, I'm folding, and broke, and I'll do what I can to return your money, but it won't be right away, and if you can spare it, I could certainly use the help of you writing it off, but it's unethical and illegal to do the other choice, i.e. just fade away without a word and not saying anything. I'd certainly write the amount off under such circumstances, and would respect the hell out of the pubber for being honest and up-front under difficult and embarrassing circumstances.)) Of course they ought in all decency to explain their position to their debtors, but if they're suffering from emotional problems (or just want to protect their own or their families privacy) then they probably won't. ((I think you're making too many excuses. How many pubbers who fold messily really are simultaneously suffering from severe financial and emotional problems with a concurrent need to protect their families privacy? Isn't it ore frequently a case of just not caring, or not being responsible?)) "In the end this is a caveat emptor hobby in a caveat emptor world, I suppose. Best wishes to you & yours (especially Emily and Sam). ((Gee, with recent letters from you and Wol Nicholl, I seem to be the American Pubber getting significant British involvement without a single letter from that weird and horrid Markie Nelson who appears hell bent on having letters appear in every zine in every country. What ho! What's this in today's mail, why a letter from....)) ************************************************************************ I need more scribes! I need more scribes! I need more scribes! I need ************************************************************************ I am enjoying moderating this zine, keep that mail coming! Eric Klien Up