Diplomacy Zine -- Chapter Five EP #142 From: Eric_S_Klien@cup.portal.com Date: Mon, 19 Feb 1990 17:28:11 +0000 Issue #142 of ELECTRONIC PROTOCOL: Chapter One contains: NAVARONE, BLITZKRIEG, OPERATION OVERLORD, GETTYSBURG, and HMS HOOD And is published by daybell@aludra.usc.edu/Donald Daybell Chapter Two contains: DRAGONSLAYER, BISMARK, COLD WAR, JACAL, MANHATTAN, and VERSAILLES And is published by tedward@cs.cornell.edu/Ted Fischer Chapter Three contains: TANNENBURG, ENTENTE, MULHOUSE, DAWN PATROL, SNIKKEL-2, and BERLIN And is published by cwekx@htikub5.bitnet/Constantijn Wekx Chapter Four contains: PETAIN, FIRE WHEN READY, DREADNOUGHT, HOHENZOLLEN And is published by xcbe12a@ucrmath.ucr.edu/Wayne Wallace ------------- Chapter Five ------------- Spring '05 of the game RATATOSK (BNC number 1989IJ) (GM is jall@diku.dk/Mogens Jallberg) Hi Everybody. The result of the draw vote was: 5 for 0 against i.e. the game is over, and is officially declared to end as a five way draw between Russia, Italy, Germany, Turkey and France. Spring '05 of the game BUSHIDO (BNC number 1989IN) (GM is ronin@cory.berkeley.edu/Sam Parazette) I am still waiting for orders from a player. Spring '05 of the game HUGO (BNC number 1989IO) (GM is willis@trwind.ind.trw.com/Willis Marti) Due Feb 11 Winter '03 of the game JUGGERNAUGHT (BNC number 1989IR) (GM is rdesper@eagle.wesleyan.edu/Rick Desper) Due Feb 13 Winter '03 of the game TOKUGAWA (BNC number 1989IS) (GM is rc0o@andrew.cmu.edu/Bob Cochran) Austria: A Bud Turkey: F Smy England: A Lon Italy: F Nap Russia: disband F Nwy France: disband A Par Deadlines: Orders for the Spring 1903 season must be submitted by Sunday, Feb.18 at midday EST. Please try to avoid being chronically late. Rob GM - Tokugawa Fall '03 of the game DUNKIRK (BNC number 1989KN) (GM is sjzwange@phoenix.princeton.edu/Steven Jacob Zwanger) Just replaced a player, results will be published soon. Fall '04 of the gunboat game VERDUN (MNC number 1989AZrb32) (GM is eric_s_klien@cup.portal.com/Eric Klien) AUSTRIA WAVES BYE-BYE! FRANCE MAKES LARGE GAINS! GM Notes: Russia can retreat A SIL to LIV or STP German A Kie was annhilated Adjustments due by Tuesday at midnight. AUS: A Budapest - Galicia ENG: F Clyde S F Wales - Liverpool F Norway S A Sweden H A Sweden H <F Wales - Liverpool> FRA: <A Burgundy - Munich> <F English Channel - North Sea> A Holland S A Ruhr - Kiel <A Munich - Berlin> F North Atlantic - Norwegian Sea A Ruhr - Kiel GER: <A Denmark - Kiel> F Heligoland Bight S F Skagerak - North Sea <A Kiel - Berlin>[***] A Liverpool H F Skagerak - North Sea A Yorkshire S A Liverpool H ITA: <F Albania - Greece> <F Eastern Med - Aegean Sea> F Ionian Sea S F Eastern Med - Aegean Sea A Trieste S A Vienna - Budapest A Tyrolia - Bohemia A Vienna - Budapest RUS: A Galicia - Ukraine <A Moscow S A Silesia - Warsaw>[ret](LIV STP) A Silesia - Warsaw TUR: F Aegean Sea - Greece A Bulgaria S F Aegean Sea - Greece <F Constantinople - Aegean Sea> F Rumania H <A Serbia S A Budapest H>[nso] A Sevastopol S A Ukraine - Moscow F Smyrna S F Constantinople - Aegean Sea A Ukraine - Moscow Position Report Fall 1904 Game VER AUS: A GAL = 1 ENG: F CLY F NOR A SWE F WAL = 4 FRA: A BUR F ECH A HOL A KIE A MUN F NWS = 6 GER: A DEN F HEL A LVP F NTS A YOR = 5 ITA: F ALB A BOH A BUD F EME F ION A TRI = 6 RUS: A ??? A UKR A WAR = 3 TUR: A BUL F CON F GRE A MOS F RUM A SER A SEV F SMY = 8 Supply Center Report Fall 1904 Game VER ENG: EDI LON NOR SWE = 4( 4) FRA: BEL BRE HOL KIE MAR MUN PAR POR SPA = 9( 6) +++ GER: BER DEN LVP = 3( 5) -- ITA: BUD NAP ROM TRI TUN VEN VIE = 7( 6) + RUS: STP WAR = 2( 3) - TUR: ANK BUL CON GRE MOS RUM SER SEV SMY = 9( 8) + Press ----- London Times, England The only announcement this week from the Supreme Leader, General Quid, was that his cabinet's recommendation to the Germans was to withdraw their forces from England. As it now stands, the German forces on the Isle have over extended the German line and now the French are on German soil. Unless the Germans consolidate their positions, things look pretty gloomy for both parties. There was no statement concerning a possible attempt on his life and coupe. Also, he did not address the wide spread pandamonia in the streets. Germany -> England: I agree, I shall withdraw my forces from England. In return, let me keep Liverpool until I am able to gain back something from France. If you take Liverpool back, I will be unable to do anything. As it is, it may be too late. If I get into the North Sea now, please try and get in yourself in Spring 1905. It is the only way we will survive the French attack. Germany -> Russia : Hey, you and I are both on the defensive now. It looks like we are stuck between marauding French, Turkish and Italian forces. Germany -> Italy: If you expect to live at all between Turkey and France, you'd better cut one of them down now. I hope that you can go for France, but from your current position that seems unlikely. Good Luck France -> England Well, it seems lucky for "you" that our fleets bounced off the coast of Norway. I think the German has shown his true colors: not only did he invade your homeland, he tried to steal your Scandinavian possesions. France on the other hand has never taken military action against English possesions. I admit there was some bad "press" but that was the "old" France. The new France wants a long standing relation with that "Jewel of the North Sea." You scrach my back, I'll scrach yours. So with our new understanding, don't bounce me in the NWS again. I'm sure you can find better things to do with your fleet. --------------- France -> Germany Nothing personal, it's just that the person you made all those anti-English alliances with doesn't exist any more. He's gone forever, poof, "kein mehr" (i.e. replaced). Anyways you can still talk to me, maybe we can come to some sort of an agreement. France -> England A SWE -> DEN would be greatly appreciated. Austria to Turkey: Thank you for your support. I hope my move has helped you this turn. I am brave and will die to help you. Please continue the support. Turkey->Russia I'm on my way to take your capital (StPetersburg), and after that I'll take out Germany, just like you predicted. I can probably defeat Italy while I finish you off. The way things are going, I will be victorious before the snow hits the ground in 1908. THE SULTAN Russia->Italy I'd feel a lot better if you would take BUD and finish off Austria. It seems like Turkey is playing games with you. He could have finished off Austria any time he wanted to. All either of us need right now is for him to get another supply center. I'll do my best to stop him from getting any more of mine, but if England decides to be a prick, then I can kiss off StPetersburg. Turkey -> Austria Looks like Italy might be intent on having you completely out of the game. Is there anything we can do to help encourage him to let you survive without causing an all out war with him?? THE SULTAN Turkey -> Italy Now when I said that the Aegean was off limits, it also included the Eastern Med. Hopefully you can see that neither of us will get anywhere banging our heads together down here. I think you should opt for another alternative (any other alternative, you pick). You should be well aware of the fact that at this point of the game I can't do any more harm to you than you can to me. If you stay out of my way I will stay out of yours. THE SULTAN Turkey->Italy GET OUTA MY FACE OR I'LL PULVERIZE YA! THE SULTAN Turkey->Germany Your next. Say your prayers now cause you won't have time once I finish off Russia and Italy. THE SULTAN Turkey->England Well I haven't communicated with you yet, because we are soooo far apart. You can have STP if you take it now. I don't really want to expand that far north (too cold). I'll just be content on taking out Italy and Germany. Their areas are in a much milder climate. Anyway, if you want it, take it now. I may even support you to take it once I get Moscow. THE SULTAN Russia - Verdun - Fall '04 Petrograd, September 16, 1904 (Reuters) In a joint press conference Foreign Minister Mikhail Davidovitch and Defence Minister Yuri Kalashnikov expressed their thanks for the support they have received from the other great powers. "We believe that we have turned the corner in the south and may even be able to take the offensive in the 1905 campaign. It will be a long hard battle to regain the territory lost to the Turk, but we believe that we will succeed in pushing the Turkeys back to Asia where they belong." Russia -> Germany: We are sorry to see that you also seem to have been victimized by an untrustworthy ally. We are sorry we can't lend assistence from Silesia right now, but I'm sure you understand. Thank you for keeping Her Majesty's forces sufficiently occupied so they haven't taken advantage of our weaknesses.Press: Rome (BBC): The Joint Chiefs of Staff today issued comments concerning the unexpected moves to the southeast by the Italian navy. The situation is "regretable," as one official put it. "The Turks have treated us in a reasonable fashion," commented the High Admiral. "However," he continued, "the drastic naval build-up was the turning point." The Admiral went on to speculate about the strength of the Turkish forces in general, and pointed out that only Italy is in a position to stem the tide of the Turkish road to world domination. "That could not be tolerated either," added the Admiral. "Hopefully, the other nations of Europe will see the unique role that Italy is playing in the current conflict and offer whatever services they can to assist Italian forces in halting the Turkish invasion." Winter '01 of the game BIG WILLIE (MNC number not known) (Blind game, GM is okamoto@hp-ses.hp.com/Jeff Okamoto) Received. Spring '01 of the classic game RED STORM RISING (MNC number not known) (GM is jbillone@jarthur.claremont.edu/Jeremy Billones) Due Feb 11 Winter '1913 of the game #40 COMRADES IN ARMS (MNC number not known) (GM is att!druwa!hardlj or hardlj@druwa.att.com/Larry Hardouin) Due Feb 20 Winter '00 of the game EL ALAMEIN (BNC number not known) (GM is cap@htikub5.bitnet/Joris Pinkse) The situation is now: Unit positions: A F Austria: Bud,Vie Tri England: Lvp Lon,Edi France: Par,Mar Bre Germany: Ber,Mun Kie Italy: Ven,Rom Nap Russia: Mos,War StP sc,Sev Turkey: Con,Smy Ank ownership supply centers: Austria: Bud,Vie,Tri England: Lvp,Lon,Edi France: Par,Mar,Bre Germany: Ber,Mun,Kie Italy: Rom,Ven,Nap Russia: Mos,War,StP,Sev Turkey: Con,Smy,Ank 00 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 Cumulated # hours late Odear (A) 3 0 Crabbe (E) 3 0 Klaus (F) 3 0 Pulliam (G) 3 0 Davis (I) 3 0 Darken (R) 4 0 Huntsman (T) 3 0 Press: ******************************************************************************* Le Matin(7.2.1901) Today our glorious Emperor Francois Pomme de Terre has sent missionaries to Spain and Portugal where nowadays there is anarchy. We are shure, that our offered help to these still economicaly backwards Nations is welcome. The Emperor expressed his best wishes for the European future, where France will play one of the major roles. Any participants in our attempt for a new peaceful order in Europe are welcome. Due to heavy storms in the English Channel, our links to England are down. We will try our best to overcome this difficulties. (Hello Ric (England), my mail to you is always rejected as undeliverable. If you are interested in cooperation then send me a note, so I get your correct address from there. Bye Tokla) ******************************************************************************* Next deadline (S01), unless the players decide otherwise, will be February 20th 9.00 am MET (about 3.00 am EST), but the results will be sent out as soon as everyone's moves are in. Fall '01 of the game SNIKKEL (BNC number not known) (GM is cap@htikub5.bitnet/Joris Pinkse) Moves: Austria (Malhomme): England (Boyce): A Gal-Rum (* bounce *) A Edi-Bel A Bud-Ser (* bounce *) F Nth C A Edi-Bel F Alb-Gre F Nwg-Nwy /* builds: A Vie */ /* builds: F Edi, F Lon */ France (O'Regan): Germany (Fink): A Par-Pic A Kie-Hol A Spa-Por A Mun h F MAO-Spa sc F Den h /* builds: F Bre, A Par */ /* builds: A Ber, F Kie */ Italy (Aubourg): Russia (Sinha): A Ven h A War-Gal (* bounce *) A Apu-Tun A Ukr-Rum F Ion C A Apu-Tun F GoB-Swe /* builds F Nap */ F Sev S Ukr-Gal /* builds A Mos, F StP nc */ Turkey (Wekx): A Bul-Ser (* bounce *) A Ank-Con F Con-Aeg /* builds F Smy */ The situation is now: Unit positions: A F Austria: Bud,Gal,Vie Gre England: Bel Nth,Nwy,Edi,Lon France: Pic,Por,Par Spa sc,Bre Germany: Hol,Mun,Ber Den,Kie Italy: Tun,Ven Ion,Nap Russia: Ukr,War,Mos Swe,Sev,StP nc Turkey: Bul,Con Aeg,Smy ownership supply centers: Austria: Bud,Vie,Tri,Gre (* has built 1 *) England: Lvp,Lon,Edi,Bel,Nwy (* has built 2 *) France: Par,Mar,Bre,Spa,Por (* has built 2 *) Germany: Ber,Mun,Kie,Hol,Den (* has built 2 *) Italy: Rom,Ven,Nap,Tun (* has built 1 *) Russia: Mos,War,StP,Sev,Rum,Swe (* has built 2 *) Turkey: Con,Smy,Ank,Bul (* has built 1 *) 00 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 Cumulated # hours late Malhomme (A) 3 4 0 Boyce (E) 3 5 4 O'Regan (F) 3 5 0 Fink (G) 3 5 0 Aubourg (I) 3 4 0 Sinha (R) 4 6 0 Wekx (T) 3 4 0 Press: ******************************************************************************** Amsterdam: Sweet's zip(per) code: 5046 PL. Belgrade: Yesterday Hungarian troups crossed the border with Serbia. Commander Bela said on today's press conference: "Those Serbian slaves have provoked us by blowing up a Hungarian press office in the district Becs. From now on we will answer their terrorist actions with bombs!". The Hungarian military action has caused a lot of commotion abroad. The Serbian government denies any involvement in (what has been named) the Becs incident. They have even released a secret staff report from Bela's unit dated 10th of April 1901 in which the date of "the intended invasion" is clearly specified. The Serbian minister of foreign affairs Stojanov said he has evidence that the explosion had been planned and worked out by the Hungarian intelligence agency. On an extra meeting of the cabinet this morning, the Serbian leaders have decided to ask both humanitarian help and military assistance to their allies. Bonn: (Rumors column) The Kaiser was spotted entering Madame Finch's establishment in the red-light district here last Wednesday. This has been his fourth visit in the last month. Is our fearless leader having an affair? Or are these visits, as his aides have claimed, merely surprise inspections. Only time will tell. Brussels: What?!? But we have not enough chocolate for our own soldiers! Budapest: Archduke Francois-Joseph warned Turkey not to interfere with his aspirations in the Balkans today. Constantinople: The Turkish Emir was vacationing this past week at our Southern Coast resort. All other Turkish press was censored. Constantinople: The Emir has joined Austria in condemnation of lasagne. "Lasagne is a waste of spices. If that Pope-guy wants to really enjoy spicey food, we can deliver a serving of our best Falafel to him personally." The Emir was then reported to have called a local falafel house and ordered a few servings to go. The food was delivered aboard a Turkish War tugboat stationed in Constantinople. The Tugboat represents the complete Turkish naval force. Helsinki: The weather forecast for Wednesday, February 14: Austria/Hungary Vienna cloudy/sun -1/ 7 C Budapest cloudy/sun -1/ 6 C England London cloudy 4/ 7 C Edinburg rain 3/ 5 C France Paris rain 6/10 C Marseilles rain/sun 7/14 C Germany Berlin cloudy 0/ 2 C Munich rain/sun 2/ 5 C Italy Rom sun 8/17 C Venice cloudy/sun 5/11 C Russia Moscow snow/sun -2/ 2 C Warsaw cloudy 2/ 5 C Turkey Ankara cloudy/sun -3/ 7 C Constantinople cloudy/sun 7/12 C London: A delegation representing the Emir Constanti et Salami arrived here in London last week. The purpose of this visit from a nation on the other side of Europe has raised a few eyebrows in the international community, but mums been the word from 10 Downing St. In a possibly related story, the shipyards of London have been hiring large crews for unknown project. More to come as the story unfolds. London: The recent actions of France and Germany in the Lowlands and Burgandy has shown the Prime Minister's office of the unstability of the region. Thus English forces are being sent onto the continent to bring order into the area. "Hopefully", the Prime Minister said, "the presence of our superiorly trained forces will keep the Barbaric Germans and the Wimpy French in line". London: Stiff winds blew the Norwegian expeditionary troops off course. After many days at sea, one soldier's desperate need for chocolate led the force to land in Belgium. The rest is history. Marseille: There was a great explosion at the town hall of Saluzzo just across the border in Italy last Friday. Strangely, both French and Italian troops cooperated in the clean-up efforts. Local police superintendant Vicent Poirot (no relation to the famous Belgian) was livid. "We can take care of our own town, thank you. We need no help from these, these ... soldiers," he sputtered, "I will get to the bottom of this incident!" The Sup's assistant Dr. Hestings was nearby when the explosion occured, and dashed to the scene of the accident, only to find the troops already there putting out the fire. Some witnesses claimed that they saw the troops actually throwing paper on the fire rather than water, but soon afterwards the witnesses were carried away in patriotic fervor and enlisted in the Navy, and were last seen sailing out of Naples for the East. Moscow: Boris Snitchovitch declared yesterday that countries that would dare disobey the Tsar would be crushed, destroyed and stomped over. Thus if austrian stinkers don't go out of Galicia and Rumania, if turkish slaves go to the black-sea or give no support to rumania, or if the prussian mongrels don't give support to sweden, or if english bastard go to Norway, they will have to face the Tsar Retaliation, and prepare to be annihilated. Moscow: The Tsar announced that he and his staff had absolutely nothing to do with the kidnapping of the Dutch girl by the Emir of Turkey. He went on to call it a reprehensible act, and called on all nations to wipe Turkey off the map. Munich: Training continues for the Alpine attack forces stationed just outside Munich. These forces will probably be incorporated into a unit of the army during the Winter of this year. They are expected to head south into Tyrolia in the Spring. "Zeze men are ze best troops that Germany haz available. Zey alzo play beach volleyball vell, zo a trip to ze Riviera iz very pozzible in ze near future. " This statement along with a recent attempt to move into Burgandy has the German press wondering about the Kaiser's mental health. Oslo: What?!? 10 sailors?? But we had expected thousands of hungry soldiers! What are we to do with all this fine Italian lasagne which we intercepted in route from Rome to Munich?? Paris: Just thought I'd dash off a quick note to inform you all that I have made a tiny mistake in my latest press note to Joris. I had no intention declaring war on Turkey (yet). "Turkey" should be replaced by "Jerky". And we all know who's meant by that, eh, Joris? Roma: The Pope is very concerned about a possible French invasion of the Vatican protectorate of Italy. As such, he is asking the infidels of Turkey to not carry through with an expansion in the Mediterranean, and asking the Unbelievers of Germany to push into Burgundy. He is also asking the Godless hordes in Austria to leave Greece to the Pope, so that he can convert more people to the true faith. Rome: Since France has declared war on both Turkey and Austria, I am sitting ducks right between those lunatics. Sofia: The commander of the first Turkish army has been replaced due to a corruption gifts scandal. Stockholm: Prime minister Karlson: "Mr. Snitchovitch says "we will bury you", I don't subscribe to his point of view." Russian minister Snitchovitch: "Free, free, set THEM free!" St. Petersburg: Czar Nicholas requested the Turks to stay out of the Russian/Austrian conflict. "It can become pretty tough there", he said, "and you might get hurt". St. Petersburg: Minister of Defense, Boris Snitchovitch, announced today that the Russian campaign into Galicia was a major disaster, but it proved the reliability of his spies in Vienna. "The treachery of the Austrian people cannot be ignored! After many attempts to make peaceful relations with the Austrians, they turned on us! Well, Russia will not relax her vigil until the Habsbourgs are removed from the face of the earth". St. Petersburg: Turkish diplomate: "Our mighty Emir has attended a post graduate course International Relations last year." Czar Nicholas: "Hahahaha, that clumsy jellyprick?" Tilburg (Leuter): The Dutch foreign minister, having sought refuge in Canada, has declared that the Dutch forces will soon kick them Germans out of The Netherlands again. It appears that only one town has resisted the German aggression and will continue doing so in order to ensure the freedom of press. Vienna: Archduke Francois Joseph has just declard that the tsar was a ridiculous bloated blockhead, stating that his ludicrous declarations had just caused bursts of laughter in the whole empire. Warsaw: The Duke of Warsaw, a distant relative of the Habsbourg family in Austria, proclaimed himself King of Austria-Hungary today. He then declared that Austria-Hungary would be placed under Russian rule on the Nov 15, 1901. He hoped that Russia and Austria would then be friends. In order to prevent any uprisings of the no longer ruling family, he ordered his personal forces into the Austrian province of Galicia. He will even lead the forces himself. Washington: President Roosevelt has declared war on Italy for refusing to deliver a Hawaiian Pan Pizza to the White House. "Pizza Hut delivers! Why can't the damned Italians? We shall never surrender! We shall fight on the beaches! We shall fight in the air! We shall overcome this threat to our nation's security!!" Zurich: There has been much activity in the banks lately. A great deal of Russian money has flowed into the country lately. Also, the amount of German and Japanese money has started to increase. ******************************************************************************* Next deadline (S02), unless the players decide otherwise, will be February 20th 9.00 am MET (about 3.00 am EST); please submit retreats as soon as you receive the movement results, but certainly before February 22nd, 9.00 am MET. Winter '00 of the game OZARK (BNC number not known) (GM is sam@uafsysb.bitnet/Sam Huntsman) Due Feb 23 Publisher comments: From David Letterman Feb 15, 1990 show: TOP TEN PERRIER SLOGANS 10. Dangerous toxins, yes! Cholesterol, no! 9. Kills bugs dead! 8. Take the Perrier challenge! 7. The favorite chaser of Kitty Dukakis. 6. A wholly-owned subsidiary of Exxon. 5. Slightly better than drinking from those puddles in the subway. 4. It's high octane enjoyment! 3. The drink that made milwaukee nauseous! 2. Goes perfect with Chilean grapes! 1. Coming soon -- our new kerosene flavor! And here is a little more of the latest Zine Register: ---> International Zines: *************** Great Britain *************** Paul Gardner, in writing up his experiences as US representative of the International Subscription Exchange, ran this little description of the British hobby. I stole it from him, with his permission of course: The Brits are a varied lot, not neccessarily peaceful, though I believe they like to see themselves as above the sharp divisions evidenced in our subsiding "great feud." The hobby is peppered with university people who are forever poor and busy but full of energy and wild ideas among older and no less interesting hobbyists. Pubbers there stress "fannishness," a quality which I would translate as a cross between egotism, chatty gossip, and club-like atmosphere. Humor on the Monty Python pattern is evident and story telling is an entrenched tradition. Aside from riding motorbikes and odd little cars of English manufacture, British pubbers are not nearly as comuter dependent as their US counterparts. In fact, they tend more to mimeo than xerox from what I've seen. The comparison that comes to mind is that of a Honda Accord next to '55 Chevy with the fins and all. The US hobby presents a stramlined, efficient profile and the Brit hobby is more diverse and stylish ((sounds like a lot of self-righteous justification for his own neo-Luddite tendencies! I mean have you seen NNY? Primitive! -Ed.)). Another departure from the US hobby is the number of different games they offer. US zines are diversifying more frequently these days, but in the UK DIp is the unifying game in a potpourri of games; variants and railroad games prominent among them. For those like myself who dote on Railway Rivals, UK is Mecca. Rianna Games Review is the zine founded by its inventor, David Watts, now run by Anne Nock. In general, if there is a postal game that you wish to play that is not offered in the US, grab a copy of Mission from God and see if it is listed in the UK - chances are good that it is, because they play so many different games. PG Abode of the Abnormal Abbot (#16, September) Jan Niechwiadowicz, 35 Poplar Crescent Bayston Hill, SHREWSBURY, Shropshire, SY3 7BA, GREAT BRITAIN. 45p/issue, digest, xerox. 16 pp, 5 weekly, est. 1988. Runs: Nothing. Openings: None. If you're looking for a UK version of Diplomacy World, you'll be disappointed. However, if you're loooking for a comprehensive service of British hobbynews, Diplomacy and general stats and other related projects, with an occaisional international flavour, this is exactly wht you want. PS C'est Magnifique: (#76, November) Pete Sullivan, 27, Farrar Street, DARLINGTON, Co. Durham, DL3 6RG, ENGLAND. 35 pence/issue, A4, mimeo (of course!), 16 pp, 3 weeks. Circ. 58 (? can't read the blasted mimeo!). Runs: Dip (2), Railway Rivals (4). Openings: Dip, International Dip, Downfall VII, Railway Rivals, International Railway Rivals. The international games are run to alternate deadlines (i.e. 6 weeks). International subbers have the same rates as Brits, making this the cheapest way to explore the British hobby. Features chat on hobby matters (I am the UK Orphan Games Re- houser), sport and politics, both British and international. PS Mimeoed, so it's politically correct in Britain. Pete did this zine as a mainstream hobby effort through issue #50, when as an undergraduate, he decided there were too many other fun things to do he'd never again have quite the same opportunity to participate in. So he folded cleanly, passed on the games to other GMs, and kept one game he continued to run in a flier that kept the C'Mag name. So when he graduated this spring, he relaunched the zine as a major effort, starting with #70. Steady, reliable to the extreme, lots of games, chat and good letter column. I'm 36, so I feel fine (get it?) with his obsessive use of Beatle titles and snippets to name the various segments of the zine. But he feels the need to apologize for it, as if the music snobs are criticizing! What's the younger generation coming to? I mean it's not like it's James Taylor or the Bee Gees, for god's sake, it's The FAB FOUR THEMSELVES! This would be an excellent zine to start a North American hobbyist's venture into the Brtish zine scene. TEN Dolchstoss: (#135 November) Richard Sharp, Norton House, Whielden Street, Amersham, Bucks, HP7 OHU, ENGLAND 50 pence/issue, digest, xerox, 28 pp, 5 weeks. Runs: Dip (24) Openings: Dip. Regular and international. A far as I know, Richard Sharp is the author of the only commercially published book about the game of Diplomacy. Mark Berch used to distribute it in the US, but no longer does. I have no idea how a copy can be had, but I suppose a note to Mr. Sharp may be the way to find out. Anyway, Dolchstoss is one of those grand old zines of the British hobby that keeps coming back even after folds. Runs a ton of regular dip, and nothing but. They are mostly adjudicated and reported in a "supplement." Has his own in-house ratings system that adjusts the number of points you get for winning, drawing, etc, based on the difficulty factor of the specific game, which is figured by averaging the ratings of all the players in the game. At least that's how I make sense of it. Well written, as you might expect. Lettercol basically has revolved around three themes: cricket, and how wonderful it is (but how bad the Brits themselves have gotten at it), South Africa, and how wonderful it is, and critics of South Africa, and how bloody stupid and intolerable they are. TEN In the lettercolumn this issue, Richard talks about South Africa. He has been talking about South Africa since roughly issue 72. He's still one of the best writers around, and has somehow managed to stay in love with the game of Diplomacy for 20 full years, more or less. I'm not convinced that the zine is actually going anywhere, though it drifts better than any other one around. WW I think Dullstuff has been everywhere and is entitled to aimless wondering. Certtianly one of the best zines I see, and, gulp, my top zine poll vote for a zine not edited by myself. IDB Gallimaufry (#94 September) Steve Doubleday, Norton House, 46 Whielden Street, Amersham, Bucks, HP7 OHU, ENGLAND 60 pence/issue, digest, xerox, 16 PP, 5 weeks. Runs: Diplomacy (3), Fall of Empires. Openings (?): Dip, Dynastic Dip, Mercator, 1830, Air War, Scrabble. Not sure where this one goes... in the British or US sections. AMybe in the fold section even. The pubber, Steve Doubleday, is in the process, a process that seems to have taken longer than he initially planned, of moving to the US to be with his fiancee, and, presumably, engage in matrimonial type activities. He plans to continue the zine from his new quarters in, probably, West Virginia (yes, Melinda, you'll have competition in the Mountineer state at last!), but aware of the difficulties involved in doing that. The future of the zine is therefore in a bit of limbo, and the present has been marked by irregularity and a constant string of caveats to the readership not to expect more until things are settled. Generally an excellent zine with good writing, assorted interesting features, and a pleasant look and feel. When he lands, and gets established, will be definitiely worth looking into. TEN Greatest Hits: (#152 December) Pete Birks, 228b Gipsy Road, London, SE27 9RJ, ENGLAND 50p/issue, open page, xerox, 24 pages, five weeks. Runs: Diplomacy The longest running British zeen, with only two 6-month breaks in 15 years. Now running as a relaxed chat zine, with the games taking second place. Features articles on hobby history, food, books, politics, and life in general. I like it lot. PS Unless my sub ran out without me noticing, he's quite late. A "perzine" in the best sense of the word, he writes about whatever interests him currently. Hence, the great emphasis on recipes and literature in recent issues. A zine I'd like to keep getting for the reading even if I swore off games. TEN (Late note - he was quite late. Issue 152 just arrived with a page two explanation of why it was SO late - mostly having to do with two robberies - and a last page note explaining the 8 week delay from when the article of page two was written! But a gem, discussing hobby news, grammar and language usage, and an essay on the beginnings, middles, and ends of novels. Oh yes, and a recipe. TEN Mad Policy: (#156 November) Richard Walkerdine, 13 Offley Rd., Hitchin, Herts, SG5 2AZ, ENGLAND 25p + postage/issue, open page, mimeo, 16 pages, 5 weeks. Runs: Diplomacy (5), International Diplomacy, JOTTO, Multimind. Openings: None One of the mainstays of the British hobby, now "running down to a fold." RJW will hang it up, again, after #160. RJW is the originator of the Wolrd Dipcon concept, and will be leading a contingent of British hobbyists to Chapel Hill for WDC II come the 3rd weekend in June. TEN Mission From God: (#10 November) Iain Bowen, 2 Elderberry Close, Norton, Stowbridge, West Midland, 0Y8 3JN, ENGLAND $1/surface mail, $1.50/air. A4, mimeo (and proud). 35p, quarterly. Circ. 100 (ish), est. Nov. '86. MfG is the UK equivalent of the august slimesheet in your paw at the moment. Unlike ZR we do the reviews - frequent;y asking the question "cui bono?" The massed bands of the editorial junta have gained recognition of their lively zine by instilling fear, loathing, and armpit smells on the UK hobby. A dedicated few slimeballs with the brains of a decomposing sea slug still resist - but these retarded ameoboids will, I say, will be crushed. Subjectivity is everything, objectivity is impossible. Probably the best guide to the UK hobby (wee it's the only one)> Bruce Geryk? Such a mild mannered boy. IDB What's the big deal about who writes the review, Iain? I mean, as it happens, that is the exact, verbstim, word-for -word review I would have written anyway. If I read one more blurb on MfG describing it as "hard hitting," I believe I must barf. Yes, it's honest in it's reviews, but it appears to have lost a bit of the edge it once had. Yes, it's true, even Bowen has gotten subtly co-opted by being a "hobby insider." He all but admits this by bringing in the ultimate hobby outsider, William Whyte, to join the editorial collective for the latest two issues. It IS funny. Bowen et al clearly have fun putting it together. On the ubiquitous mimeo machine, of course. Politically correct neo- Luddite all the way! TEN NERTZ (Now Eat The Rabbit): (#410 November) William Whyte, 10 Salamanca, Roebuck Road, Dublin, 14, EIRE. 2.50 lbs/Year. A4 (sometimes), mimeo (usually), 24 pp (at times), 5 weeks (but don't count on it). Runs: Diplomacy, Rather Silly Dip, Utterly Ludicrous Dip, Railway Rivals, Sopwith, Snookerstars (?), It Can be Cold in London (2), Posatl Frisbee Piggy (???). Openings: Dip, Somewhat Demiurgic Dip, Seismic Dip, Geophysical Dip, Downfall, Para-Time, Sopwith, Snookerstars, and It Can Be Cold In London - Damn Cold ((I don't have the vaguest idea -TEN)) Ghod, I LOVE this zine! I wish I could put out something like it. It is heads and shoulders above everything else available on 3 continents when it comes to originality, creativity, fannishness, and pure UGLINESS. Let me explain the latter. Some zines are just plain ugly in a way that serves no purpose whatsoever... BOAST comes to mind. Graustark would be a better zine in my mind done with DTP and and a laser. Other zines' ugliness is a reflection of personal style and character that makes a statement... Vertigo on a laser wouldn't be Vertigo. In that vein, this anarcho/performance art mess of unsullied personal expression is technically hideous, but artistically a tour de force. NERTZ defies attempts at description; unlike any other other zine in the hobby, it truly HAS to be seen to be believed. It is unlike anything else out there, and one suspects that this is because Mr. Whyte is unlike anyone else out there. The latest issue (actually two since then, he's actually approaching regularity!) came with the first and last pages intact, and all other pages sliced in 3 with instructions to create your own articles by pasting it together as you wish, with a prize for the best effort. There was also an issue this summer which came twisted round a spoon, which customs apparently felt too weird, so I never got mine. Sigh. TEN Imagine Arfle Barfle Gloop, an empty CocaCola can, an evening newspaper making love in the rain, a sheet of cardboard, an empty wardrobe, the Sound of Music, Noddy wllpaper, an old school photo, a petrol station, a sunset, cigarette smoke, a blown lightbulb, and an empty chocolate box. That feeling you feel now is how you feel after every issue of NERTZ. Nice, isn't it? ND Oh yes, he has his own numbering system that I can;t figure out... there have NOT been 410 issues! TEN Prisoners of War!: (#36 November) Editor: Wallace Nicoll, 48 Broughton Road, Edinburgh, Scotland, EH7 4EE. Publisher: Doug Rowling, 228 Kinnell Ave, Cardonald, Glasgow, Scotland, G52 3RU 1 pound/issue, digest, offset, 48-60 pages, 7 weeks. Circ. 125, est. Dec 1984. Runs: Dippy Variants (4) (Definitive Downfall, Excalibur, Excali- Stab, Gesta Danorum) Sagittarius, En Garde, Railway Rivals (3), Touchdown!, Sopwith, Its a Raid, Fictionary Pictionary, Destiny. Openings: En Garde!, Sagittarius, Fic Dip, Dip, Capitalist Dip, and Swiss Cheese Dip. PoW! is slow but sure; the 7 week deadlines were designed to allow overseas players to take part on an equal footing with those in the UK. Content wise up to 20 pages an issue ceontain articles and letters on varied topics, ranging from motorcycle reviews to ships to music to books, with some UK and world hobby news. Presentation is high on the list of qualities of this zine, and the editor being the first in the UK (he believes) to spend hard money to buy a Macintosh/LaserWriter. WN The Upstart of the British hobby. Actually, even prettier than U, graphically the most appealing zine I have ever seen. Lots of games, with a lot of variety, a subzine, letters, ramblings on folk music and motorcycles, a very good hobby news section that often covers the North American hobby as well, and oh those crisply done laser printed pages! How does he deal with the contempt of the British neo-Luddites ("real zines are mimeo... and ugly to boot!"). Slow (every 7 weeks), but all the better for a Yank playing RR like... well... like me. TEN Will it Lead to Trouble: (#81 October) Andy Mansfield, 14 Trinity Rd., Ware, Herts, SG12 7DB, ENGLAND 50p/issue, digest, xerox, 32 pages, 4 weeks. Runs: Diplomacy (lots), Brum Wars, Woolworth Dip, Killtest 2 player, Original Diplomacy, Stab, Railway Rivals, Fictional Dictionary, Quadroscrabble. Openings: Diplomacy, Vain Rats, M.A.D. Diplomacy, Woolworth IID, Killtest Team Diplomacy, Killtest 2 Man Dip, London Nights, Stckbridge, and Deluge. A heavy games zine, with a couple of subzines, including "The Ageing Hippy." Amount of chat varies a good deal. The most unique thing about it, really, is that he's running a section of Calhamer's 1958 version of Diplomacy, with significantly different map and rules from the version that ultimately made it to market. Appears regular and reliable. Will be taking over Walkerdine's games after his fold. TEN Y DDRAIG GOCH (#41 November) Iain Bowen, 2 Elderberry Close, Norton, Stourbridge, West Midlands, DY8 3JN, ENGLAND 50p/issue, 75p overseas, mimeo, open page, 24-30 pages, 4 weeks. Runs: Diplomacy (4), Railway Rivals (4), Downfall, Aberration, Deluge, Chaos II, Aquinas, and Monday Morning Quarterback. Openings: Diplomacy, Downfall XIII, Cline 9, Empires, and Superbowl. Besides, or in addition to, the fact that we run our respective hobbies' zine listings, I get a feeling that Iain Bowen is "the British Tom Nash." Ghod, that's scary. Well at least he's not the British Jeff McKee. Or Don Williams for that matter. He's a chatty, funny, anarcho-lefty, irreverent type. I used to be a Luddite myself once, back in the days when I lived in Madison, worked in a worked-run grocery co-op, lived in a commune, and hung out at all the politically correct benefit dances getting half sloshed and dancing up a storm to The Irish Brigade. I have a feeling Iain would have felt right at home there. Yo, Iain... get in time... buy a PC and a laser printer! It's 1989! PS - The title means "The Red Dragon" in Welsh. Home of the Bowen-Nelson feud on "what constitutes a variant, and who decides." TEN The Yorkshire Gallant: (Vol 5, #9/10, September) Markie Nelson, 112 Huntley Avenue, Spondon, Derby, DEZ 7DU England. $1/issue (ISE). Digest. A5 xerox, 32 pp, bimonthly, games run to seperate deadlines, circ. 80, est. March '85. Runs: Dip (6), Apposition, Cline V, Intimate Dip, Downfall (2), Gunboat (7), National Express. Openings: International Dip, International Downfall, Imperialism VIIR, Gunboat, Railway Rivals. TYG has an unashamed International slant, and with over 30 non-UK readers, we must be doing something right! At times, it even seems that TYG is the home of American hobbyists in exile: Cal White runs a subzine, articles from Francois Cuerrier, letters from Fred C. Davis... Robert Sacks, Michael Hopcroft, bridge from Jeff Richmond, and the unique Doug Acheson stars as Doug Acheson ((The astonishing thing is that Markie is so out of touch with the North American hobby despite writing letters in EVERY ZINE, that he thinks these names would attract readers! Hell, they make me want to RUN SCREAMING FROM THE ROOM!!!!! - Ed.)) Occaisionally, there's even a Brit in sight! Dip articles, variants, bridge, and SF. That's TYG. MN Mark has a somewhat robust hobby presence, being one of the few Brits addicted to that peculiarly American pastime of feuds. However, this Diplomacy-Digest-style publication must be the one of the first choice zeens for any aspiring internationalist (as well as CMag of course!). PS "Robust," eh, Pete? I'll bet you're one hell of a dip player! The one issue I've seen had scads of reading material, including some nice vintage reprints. The games are apparently run by flier outside the main zine, but there is a brief synopsis of each game carried in the main zine. TEN Zeebie (Zine to be Believed) (#87 October) Nick Kinzett, 11 Daleway Road, Greeen Lane, Coventry, CV3 6JF, ENGLAND. 40 pence/issue, A4, mimeo, 10-14 pages, monthly. Runs: Diplomacy (9), Deluge, Empires of the MIddle Ages, Somewhat Demiurgic Dip. Openings: None that I can see. Yet another British neo-Luddite zine in the politically correct blue, A4 format mimeoed and ugly as all get out. The way the Brits like 'em and God meant 'em, eh? Kinzett has been quite active, serving as Orphan Games Rehouser and statsmaster until recently, still the British BNC, and a contributing member of the Mission From God collective. This is your basic Brit zine, lots of games, although heavier on regular Dip than many (US flavored in that), some good chat, hobby news, and a nice sense of humor. A zine North Americans would probably feel comfortable with, though you won't get all the insides jokes and references (kind of like KK without the New Yahk accent). TEN (Oops, I missed the fact that he too, is running down to a fold. Like lemmings, these Brits, eh? TEN) ************************************************************************ I need more scribes! I need more scribes! I need more scribes! I need ************************************************************************ I am enjoying moderating this zine, keep that mail coming! Eric Klien Up