Diplomacy Zine -- EP #142 From: xcbe12a@ucrmath.ucr.edu (wayne wallace) Date: Fri, 02 Mar 1990 00:48:13 +0000 I'm posting 2 things at once so no comments for now, I'll talk more when I get the NEWEST issue out. Issue #142 of ELECTRONIC PROTOCOL: ------------- Chapter Four ------------- This chapter contains results from PETAIN (#30), FIRE WHEN READY (#35), DREADNOUGHT(#37), and HOHENZOLLEN (#39) ************************************************** Publisher is xcbe12a@ucrmath.ucr.edu/Wayne Wallace ************************************************** Fall '03 of the game PETAIN (BNC number 1989IT) (GM is ssmith@ms.uky.edu/Scott Smith) ORDERS: Austria (Quarnstrom): Italy (Capwell): A GRE H A Apu - Nap FAIL DISL A Mun - BUR 2-1 A NAP - Tun FAIL 1-1 A ROM S F Adr-Apu F TYS C A Nap-Tun A VEN S A Rom H F Adr - APU 2-1 Russia (Jog): F ION - Tun FAIL 1-1 A ANK S F Con-Smy A ARM S F Bla-Con England (Schwartzman): A SWE H F Edi H FAIL DISL F Bla - CON F LIV - Wal FAIL 1-1 F Con - SMY F LON - Wal FAIL 1-1 F NAO - Mao FAIL 1-1 F NWG S GERMAN F Nth-Edi France (Chow): F Nwy - NTH A Bur S F Ech-Bel CUT DISL F Rum - BULE A MAR S A Bur H CUT A WAL - Liv FAIL 1-1 Turkey (Bartlett): F ECH - Bel FAIL 1-2 F AEG H F IRI - Mao FAIL 1-1 Germany (Hasting): A HOL S F Bel H A PIE - Mar FAIL CUTS A RUH S AUSTRIAN A Mun-Bur F BEL S ENGLISH F Lon-Ech NSO F Nth - EDI 2-1 English F Edi may retreat to Cly, Yor, or disband. French A Bur may retreat to Gas, Par, Pic, or disband. Italian A Apu disbands due to lack of valid retreat. The English and French retreats are due Tuesday at 10:00 PM. ----- UNIT POSITIONS: Austria: A Bur Gre Rom Ven F Adr Apu England: A F Liv Lon (Edi) France: A Mar Wal (Bur) F Ech Iri Germany: A Hol Pie Ruh F Bel Edi Italy: A Nap F Tys Russia: A Ank Arm Swe F Con Nao Nwg Nth Smy BulE Turkey: A F Aeg ----- CONTROL: Austria: [7] Bud Tri Vie Ser Ven Gre ROM England: [2] Liv Lon (Edi) France: [5] Bre Mar Par Por (Bel) Germany: [7] Ber Kie Mun Hol Den BEL EDI Italy: [2] Nap Tun (Rom) Russia: [11] Mos Sev Stp War Rum Bul Swe Con Nwy ANK SMY Turkey: [0] (Ank) (Smy) ----- BUILDS/DISBANDS: Austria: Build 1 England: Disband 1 (If F Edi is disbanded, no change.) France: Disband 1 (If A Bur is disbanded, no change.) Germany: Build 2 Italy: No change (since A Apu was disbanded) Russia: Build 2 Turkey: Disband 1 (This will be F Aeg) Builds and disbands are due Tuesday 10 PM. They may be made conditional on the English and/or French retreats. ----- DRAW PROPOSAL: We have a proposal for an Austrian/Russian draw. Please send your votes in by the Spring move deadline (Sat 3 Feb.). "No vote received" counts as a vote against the draw; but if everyone sends in their votes with their moves, we shouldn't have any problems with this. Remember: Votes on draws must be unanimous. ----- PRESS: Geneva: Turkey is forced to surrender to the invading Russians. Italy defended Tunis from the Austrian navy, but lost Apulia, with heavy casualties, to the Austrian army. Germany and Austria moved westward capturing Edinburgh and Burgandy, respectively. Germany held off an amphibious attack by the French in Belgium; while England kept the French invaders on the coast of Wales. Spain remained neutral for yet another year; the leaders of the guerilla forces have applied for financial assistance from the United States. ---------- Vienna Probe ( All the news that's fit to primp) Young Prince Herman today had the pope executed and declared himself pope. "From now on, I will be called, His most high holiness of bright countenance and pure, unsullied feet; Pope Herman the first," he is reported to have declared upon entering the Vatican. He then immediately excommunicated all persons of French descent and declared a holy war on France. He shouted loudly, "I, Pope Herman the first, his most high holiness of bright countenance and pure, unsullied feet, do declare that I will not rest until the evil French scourge is eliminated from the face of the earth utterly and completely. So help me Jesus." Given Hermans intellect and temperment, it is not clear what these statements mean. --------- Vienna (Free Associative Press) German hospitality in Munich has been so great that the Austrian army there has agreed to assist the Germans in a plan to blitzkreig France. It is not quite clear who proposed the idea. --------- Vienna (Free Associative Press) Minister of defense Vastenblunder is elated with the progress of the war. He was quoted as saying, "It's all over but the mopping up." Other war officials are also enthusiastic, but think the minister is a bit premature in declaring victory. --------- Vienna (Free Associative Press) Emperor Wilhelm has apparently agreed to declare Naples an open city. Austrian armies will not enter Naples due to the cooperation of our Italian friends in evacuating Rome. However, he stated that this open city status will most likely be transferred to Tunis in the future, and that the Italian fleet should be prepared to ferry Italian citizens to Tunis should the Austrian army decide that Naples must be occupied. --------- Berlin Times - The less you know, the better! The kaiser was seen last Sunday with a tart Austrian winch. He kept calling her "Dahling". It is rumored that she was a gift from the Austrian Government in return for favors to the German people. The Crown Prince of Austria is quoted as saying "In return for accepting our gift, we shall leave Germany and go on a trip to the Wine country. (snicker snicker), slug, swallow, spit. And, for the pleasure of the German troops, we shall allow them to vacation on the French Riviera" --------- MOSCOW: (Novosti Press) Prince Smirnoff, Viceroy of Turkey, has eliminated the last remains of the Ottoman empire. A ship bearing the Sultan's harem was captured in the coastal waters off Constantinople, and they will return in triumph with the Prince to Moscow for Christmas 1903. Czar Rajeev IV has condemned the Austrian invasion of Munich, saying "If Emperor Gotterdamerung is exhausted, he can retire to Siberia or Murmansk; partying at the Oktoberfest at this advanced age does not befit him." His Imperial Majesty further announced that Russia has now recognized Prince Herman as the legitimate ruler of Austria-Hungary, and whether the Prince can control his limbs or not is irrelevant. The Czar demanded the immediate withdrawal of the Austrian troops. --------- Warsaw: Massive troop deployments have been observed in and around Warsaw. Continuing the previously declared "Last Domino" policy, Czar Rajeev IV (who has now earned the moniker "the Terrible") has extended martial law over all of Poland, Rumania and Bulgaria. Mass pogroms are underway (with five thousand "Enemies of the Empire" executed, according to government sources). Unofficial sources report the actual figure could be close to twenty thousand. It is suspected that the Russian General Staff will use this pretext to garrison even larger numbers of troops here, and upset the balance of power in Central Europe. --------- Stockholm: Grand Duke Dmitri intends to spend the winter peaceably in Stockholm. All fleets and the Kremlin Guards under his command have been ordered to hold their positions, and render the necessary assistance to the bereaved Queen of England, Beulah II, in her efforts to fight the rebels led by the Pretender Arthur. In return for being a protectorate of the Russian Crown, the Queen's government has recognized Russian suzerainty over all English lands, including Normandy and Aquitaine. ---------- Bavarian Journal: The Kaiser was furious at the Austrian annexation of Munich, and demanded an immediate withdrawal of the occupying troops. "The Oktoberfest is over... now will all you Tyrolia hillbillies go home?" He alternately suggested that France could recompense Germany for the loss of Bavaria by ceding the province of Belgium, and by accepting his bull dog as the ReichProtektor of Alsace-Lorraine. ----- DEADLINES: Retreats, builds, and disbands are due Tuesday 1/30 at 10:00 PM (EST). Spring 1904 moves and draw proposal votes are due Saturday 2/3 at 10:00 PM (EST) Fall '01 of the game FIRE WHEN READY (BNC number 1990B) (GM is rlg@ai.mit.edu/Bob Givan) Orders ([] indicate failed orders): Germany England F Hol S ENGLISH F NTS-Bel A Yor-Bel via NTS A Mun-Sil F NTS C A Yor-Bel A Boh-Vie F NWS-Nor France Russia A Spa-Por F GOB-Swe A Gas-Spa A Ukr-Rum F MAO-WME A Sev-Arm [F BLA-Ank] Austria Italy F Alb-Gre A Tyr-Ven A Tri Holds A Ven-Pie A Ser S A Tri Holds F ION-Tun Turkey A Bul Holds [A Smy-Ank] F Con-AEG Current Positions: Germany: F Hol A Sil, Vie England: F NTS, Nor A Bel France: F WME A Por, Spa Russia: F Swe, BLA A Rum, Arm Austria: F Gre A Tri, Ser Italy: F Tun A Ven, Pie Turkey: F AEG A Bul, Smy Supply Centers Owned: Germany: (5) Mun, Ber, Kie, +Hol, +Vie England: (5) Edi, Lvp, Lon, +Nor, +Bel France: (5) Bre, Par, Mar, +Por, +Spa Russia: (6) StP, War, Mos, Sev, +Rum, +Swe Austria: (4) Tri, Bud, -Vie, +Ser, +Gre Italy: (4) Nap, Rom, Ven, +Tun Turkey: (4) Smy, Ank, Con, +Bul Retreats: None. Builds & Disbands: Germany: +2 England: +2 France: +2 Russia: +2 Austria: +1 Italy: +1 Turkey: +1 PLAYERS: Please submit your build orders by 12:01 AM EST, Thurs. MORNING, Feb. 15, 1990 The Spring 1902 deadline will be 12:01 AM EST, Wed. MORNING, Feb. 21, 1990 Press: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Constantinople Constant - Ides of March, 1901 EXTRA! EXTRA! EXTRA! EXTRA! EXTRA! EXTRA! EXTRA! EXTRA! EXTRA! EXTRA! EXTRA! EXT -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- OLIVE CROPS RECOVERED Damascus (OP) - The olive orchards of Syria are now in full bloom once again following the disastrous winter harvest last year. The Minister of Trade has announced that he is calling off all deals he made with foreign olive producers in Greece and Italy. "Why should we have to stock up on the inferior Italian olives when we have enough of our own?" he stated in a press conference upon returning to Constantinople. RUMANIA IS INVADED! Sofia (PA-OP) - Reports on Bulgarian state radio are confirming the successful invasion of their northern neighbour yesterday about tea-time. "This a great day in the history of social autocracy," the King of Bulgaria announced in a speech to the masses assembled in Tananmenov Square in Sofia. He went on to state that the Rumanians are "getting their just desserts" for having been born north of the Danube. "I mean, why would anybody choose to get born outside our nation?" The King also welcomed the Ottoman Third Regimen which moved into his country in February to help quell social unrest in his nation. "Without them, we could never have dominated Rumania!" RUSSIAN SPY SHIPS SIGHTED OFF THE NORTH COAST Constantinople (OP) - Turkish officials are protesting to Russia over their recent naval occupation of the Black Sea. A Russian captain who was interviewed said, "the Minister of War has always been a little paranoid. I, on the other hand, was just following orders." The Turkish Minister of Defence, on the other hand, was more adamant. "Unless we get some of the fishing quotas in the Black Sea, it'll be war." YOSEF KJELLMEISTER IMPRISONED Warsaw (Routers) - In a trial in the Warsaw Supreme Court last week, Norwegian spy Yosef Kjellmeister was sentence to 36.5 years in jail. He was given 10-year sentences by the judges from Poland, Lithuania and Ukraine, and 6.5 from the Russian judge. Summer '02 of the game DREADNOUGHT (BNC# 1990I) (GM is rbk@aiai.edinburgh.ac.uk/Richard Kirby) Italy: A Tri RETREATS TO Ven France: A Bel RETREATS TO Pic Fall '01 of the game HOHENZOLLERN (BNC# 1990J) (GM is jog@hpda.hp.com/Rajeev Jog) -- Great Powers complete annexation of all neutral countries: Scandinavia partitioned amongst Germany, Russia and England, Carthage falls to Rome, France conquers Iberia, Anglo-French forces in Brussels, Austro-Hungarian colors fly at the Piraeus, Germans blitz through the Netherlands -- Major failure in Italian Postal Service; forwarding service through Switzerland slow, but functional -- Intriguing developments in the Balkans -- Press strike in Europe ends BUILD/DISBAND orders due Sunday February 18th at NOON PST. All press submitted will be posted with the next due announcement of results or builds, unless immediate posting is requested by the submitter. Remember, this game allows white, grey and black press. Thanks for all the press submitted, please continue the good reporting. These are the orders for Fall 1901 (failed orders in parentheses): Austria-Hungary Italy --------------- ----- A Gal S RUS F Rum A Ven H (A Ser -> Bul)* A Apu -> Tun F Alb -> Gre F Ion C A Apu -> Tun Russia Turkey ------ ------ A Sev S F Rum A Con S A Bul A Ukr -> War A Bul S A ITA Apu -> Gre % # F Rum -> S AUS A Ser -> Bul F Blk -> Arm F GOB -> Swe England France ------- ------ A Yor -> Bel A Pic S A ENG Yor -> Bel F Nwg -> Nwy A Gas -> Spa F Nth C A Yor -> Bel F MAO -> Por Germany ------- A Ruh S A Kie -> Hol A Kie -> Hol F Den enjoys shore leave (F Den H) Retreats: None *********************************************************************** Notes: * 2:2 in Bulgaria % No such order # Support cut Unit Positions: AUSTRIA-HUNGARY: A: Gal, Ser F: Gre ITALY: A: Ven, Tun F: Ion RUSSIA: A: Sev, War F: Swe, Rum TURKEY: A: Con, Bul F: Arm ENGLAND: A: Bel F: Nth, Nwy FRANCE: A: Pic, Spa F: Por GERMANY: A: Hol, Ruh F: Den Supply Centers (_gained_/(lost)) and Builds/Disbandments (+n/=/-n) AUSTRIA-HUNGARY:Home, _Ser_, _Gre_ (+2) ITALY: Home, _Tun_ (+1) RUSSIA: Home, _Rum_, _Swe_ (+2) TURKEY: Home, _Bul_ (+1) ENGLAND: Home, _Nwy_, _Bel_ (+2) FRANCE: Home, _Por_, _Spa_ (+2) GERMANY: Home, _Den_, _Hol_ (+2) Supply centers by year: 00 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 AUSTRIA-HUNGARY: 3 5 ITALY: 3 4 RUSSIA: 4 6 TURKEY: 3 4 ENGLAND: 3 5 FRANCE: 3 5 GERMANY: 3 5 *********************************************************************** Press: ****** Rome: ----- Chaos reigns in Rome as the Italian postal strike enters its second year! The Trieste Star Telegram ------------------------- St. Stephane Sails for Greece It was revealed this week that the King's battleship, the St. Stephane and the rest of the Austrian fleet are at present steaming off of the shores of Albania in route to Greece. When asked about whether the headlong charge to the east was the best way to ensure the safety of Austria, the King's security advisor, Fritz "One Thumb" Obligato asserted that the empire was not totally without a military presence. Although he declined to elaborate, it is widely believed Mr. Obligato was referring to the Gianandrea family. Frank Gianandrea, the head of the family, assured this reporter that "We will provide all the protection Trieste needs." The King dismissed concerns about the large number of Italians in this defense forces by saying "Oh? I hadn't really noticed." THE TIMES OF LONDON ------------------- >From Picadilly to Barnet, riots broke out on the streets of London today, demanding the resignation of Lord Stodgy, the Minister for Foreign Affairs. The ruckus arose over a recent article in the English-language version of THE OTTOMAN HERALD, in which Lord Stodgy reportedly arranged with the Turkish ambassador to England an exchange of football players for a harem. When word of the report reached the House of Uncommons, Lord Stodgy was indignant. "I've been misquoted," he declared, "Football players are England's finest, indeed perhaps only, natural resource, and I would never give them up so easily. I offered football fans, not players." he insisted. Lord Stodgy further maintained that the report was part of a "communist plot" against him. As of press time, no one was quite certain what a communist might be, or why anyone would be plotting against the foreign minister. When pressed on this matter, Lord Stodgy only mumbled something about "waiting fifteen years" and stalked off to his chambers. The Queen issued a terse, apparently unconcerned statement, saying only that "Lord Stodgy is clearly quite uncommon." Other commentators were equally unfazed, as one wag noted, "Perhaps Lord Stodgy felt that in order to minister foreign affairs, he ought to be involving himself in a few." Vienna Daily News ----------------- King Pronounces Turkish Cultural Exchange Program Success The King was visibly impressed by the first performance of the dancers who received belly dancing training in Ankara. Also at the performance were several Turkish musicians, who left immediately afterwards to attend a concert given by a lesser known Austrian musician, Hanz von Singensongen. After the show one of the Turkish musicians, Mohammad Gouda, commented, "Dude, it was like, totally granular, man. You know, dude, I felt, like, meshed with the vibrations." Another of the Turkish musicians, Aral Ege, commented, "I want to jam with that dude for sure." THE OTTOMAN HERALD ------------------ On Saturday, Crown Prince Sadam was annointed Sultan of all Turkey. He assume the throne and titled himself, Sultan Ingmuad the Inept. Hundreds of thousands of people turned out for the celebration. The only blackmark was a counterdemonstration by the People for the Turkish Way. Police estimated protesters at 15. The Sultan in his speech outlined goals for increased education spending, an investment tax credit and increased money for the defense forces. He declared, "It is my fond hope that with these goals acomplished; Turkey will gain entry into the modern world and garner international respect." High speculation ensued as to whether the Sultan would announce that he will take a foreign bride or a domestic bride. ...in other news ... Sultan Ingmuad stated that all previous agreements with foreign countries are under review. Appointment of ambassadors should begin soon. Rumors have been flying around the palace that the Royal Security Corps had found damaging evidence that the Russians had played a prominent role in assasinating the previous Sultan. This gives the Turkish navy more hope for action against the Russian fleets. The democratic underground issued a statement declaring its rejection of the Sultan Ingmuad's assumtion of the Sultanate. The organization, People for the Turkish Way called on all citizens to push for elections and overthrow the monarchy. Le Papier du Republic ------------------ Paris: President Rougevin was quoted today as saying that he concerned that public unrest in several of the developing countries is reaching crisis proportions. Noting France's own bloody revolutionary phase, the President stated his hope that the three Great Western Powers could form a barrier against unnecessary bloodshed. He highlighted Spain and Portugal noting that French Forces were the only auxillary having a reasonable hope of reaching these troubled areas in time. The President also applauded swift German action to counter a revolution by anarchists in Denmark. Asked as to what role the British Empire might play in quieting the turmoil, he expressed hope that the English would provide a helping hand in guiding the future of the continent. "Indeed, we must remember that the British have a history of Democratic Rule, predating even that of our own, and theirs is a model system for all the world to follow." When asked whether the possibility of hostilities might come about from lack of communication and coordination he replied, "No, no, I am quite sure that the Western Powers can come to an accord as to actions of propriety." In other news, the Minister for Foreign Affairs gave a brief statement to reporters: "The recent rise of tensions within Eastern Europe, is both saddening and of no small concern. Recent accords establishing cultural ties with the Ottoman Empire may be threatened by what appears to be a full scale mobilization on the part of the Eastern Powers. We can only hope that prudence will guide the actions of these Great Nations." The completion of the following accords were announced: Demilitarization of the Piedmont for an indefinite period. Demilitarization of the English Channel for an indefinite period. Notice to the general populace: despite rumors by anarchist and marxist elements, the Defence Minister announced that there are no plans for a general mobilization and/or conscription. The Defense Minister stated that there would be a need for additional troops for planned garrisons to maintain order on the Iberian peninsula; however, it is anticipated that the necessary troops can be gained through normal volunteerism and recruiting from the Foreign Legion. Notice to the general populace: sign up today! Exciting army and naval careers await those with a taste for adventure and exotic scenery. Serving in the Forces of the French Republic is both an honor and a challenge. You will receive excellent pay and benefits to include full medical care and a stipend for your family should untoward events occur. In this age of peace and prosperity, the military is one of the most exciting and safe occupations to be in. Don't wait, see your recruiter today. The Republic needs YOU! Budapest Informant ------------------ Mona Offers Turks Intelligence Personnel In response to widespread rumors that the Sultan's Royal Security Forces would undergo a thorough overhaul, Mona, the King's Chief of Intelligence, personal Astrologer and Guide to the Spirit World, offered to provide the personnel to, in her words, "Offer the Sultan the kind of advise and guidance which a person in his position needs." ************************************************************************** If you are interested in joining the fun here in Electronic Protocol, send mail to Eric_S_Klien@cup.portal.com including your name, home address, home phone number, work phone number, and country preferences. ************************************************************************** Issue #143 of ELECTRONIC PROTOCOL: ------------- Chapter Four ------------- This chapter contains results from PETAIN (#30), FIRE WHEN READY (#35), DREADNOUGHT(#37), and HOHENZOLLEN (#39) ************************************************** Publisher is xcbe12a@ucrmath.ucr.edu/Wayne Wallace ************************************************** Winter '03 of the game PETAIN (BNC number 1989IT) (GM is ssmith@ms.uky.edu/Scott Smith) Due ASAP Winter '01 of the game FIRE WHEN READY (BNC number 1990B) (GM is rlg@ai.mit.edu/Bob Givan) Italy: Builds F Rome France: Builds A Mar, A Bre Austria: Builds A Bud Turkey: Builds F Ank England: Builds F Lon, F Lvp Russia: Builds A Mos, A Sev Germany: Builds F Kiel, A Mun Spring 1902 orders are due Wed, Feb. 21 at 12:01 AM EST. Fall '02 of the game DREADNOUGHT (BNC number not known) (GM is rbk@aiai.edinburgh.ac.uk/Richard Kirby) England ------- F Lon - Wal F NTS - Lon F NWS - Nor A Nor - Stp Germany ------- F Swe Holds F Hol - Bel A Bel - Pic A Bur S F Hol - Bel A Ruh - Mun <failed> Russia ------ F BAL C A Liv - Ber F Sev - Rum <failed> A Ukr S F Sev - Rum A War - Pru A Liv - Ber Turkey ------ F BLA S A Arm - Sev F AEG - ION <failed> A Rum S A Arm - Sev <failed> A Arm - Sev A Bul S A Rum Austria ------- F Alb - ADR A Tri Holds A Vie S A Tri A Bud - Gal Italy ----- F WME - Spa <failed> F TYS - ION <failed> A Pie - Mar <failed> A Tyr - Mun <failed> A Ven - Tri <failed> France ------ F ECH - MAO F Bre S F ECH - MAO F Mar - Spa <failed> A Por - Spa <failed> A Pic - Par =============================================================================== Retreats -------- Russia: F Sev scuttles rather than surrendering valuable hardware to the Turks. =============================================================================== Dreadnought Winter 1902 Unit Positions England (Scardamaglia) F Lon F Wal F Nor A Stp Germany (Hallen) F Bel F Swe A Ruh A Bur A Pic Russia (Pease) F BAL A Ber A Pru A Ukr Turkey (Cochran) F BLA F AEG A Bul A Rum A Sev Austria (Mullins) F ADR A Tri A Vie A Gal Italy (Nelson) F TYS F WME A Pie A Ven A Tyr France (Belle) F Bre F MAO F Mar A Par A Por =============================================================================== Supply Center Ownership '00 01 02 Supply Centers England 3 4 5 Lon, Lvp, Edi, Nor, PLUS Stp Germany 3 5 6 Mun, Kie, Den, Hol, PLUS Swe, Bel, MINUS Ber Russia 4 5 3 Mos, War, PLUS Ber, MINUS Stp, Sev, Swe Turkey 3 5 6 Con, Ank, Smy, Bul, Rum, PLUS Sev Austria-Hungary 3 4 5 Bud, Vie, Ser, Gre, PLUS Tri Italy 3 5 4 Rom, Nap, Ven, Tun, MINUS Tri France 3 5 5 Par, Bre, Mar, Spa, PLUS Por, MINUS Bel =============================================================================== Builds/Disbands England: One build Germany: One build Russia: One disband (F Sev being the other disband) Turkey: One build Austria: One build Italy: One disband ============================================================================== Press ----- Turkey Today #1 in Turkey Over 4.5 million copies daily March 17, 1902 Inside: Weather: Money: Purina Camel Chow falls to 21 5/8 Hot, Sports: Sanjay Khanna, World Class Camel Trotter Dry Life: Turkish Broadcasting to get "Cosby" See A10 RUSSIANS ATTACK TURKEY!!!! Ankara (TPI) - Today, in an act of violence comparable only to the Italian invasion of Trieste last year, Russian forces slaughtered many of the first Turkish Fleet stationed in the Black Sea. Russian negotiators have tried to convince the government that the Black Sea would be a good place for them to get into, to help with thier progress to the Mediterranean to wage war on Austria. Austrian authorities did NOT grant permission however for the action, so the Russians retaliated by doing it anyway. Turkish defense minister Ahmed Ka' Mel announced in a public statement that "The Turkish government will in no way support or condone an attack on our peace-loving Austrian neighbors." ITALIANS CONDEMNED TO DEATH!! MASSACRE IN ANKARA!!! With the current hostile state of affairs existing between Turkey and Italy, the Sultan called today for the immediate execution of all Italians except his brother Harold, who shall be jailed. All Italian tourists in Ankara have been captured and shot. Their bodies have been fed to the Sultan's dogs. In addition, the Sultan sent the second Turkish Fleet, stationed in Constantinople, to scout things out in the Mediterranean Sea. NEWSLINE: Sultan Ali-Hakim today extended a warm invitation for peace with the leaders of France, Germany and England, adding that he would be "very interested" in joint military maneuvers with the french government in the near future. In sports, the First Turkish fleet stationed in the Black Sea has reported the capture of the largest fish ever in the Black Sea, which was identified as a Sea Sturgeon. Defense minister Ahmed Ka' Mel announced today that there is no truth to the rumor that the Russian Fleet will enter Rumania in the fall. The purveyors of the rumor have been identified, and those responsible have been sacked. Finally, the large fish captured in the Black Sea yesterday was found to be a fraud. Examination revealed that the fish contained Italian surveillance equipment to monitor the Turkish Fleets. The fish has since been shot in the head. Turkey Today #1 in Turkey Over 4.5 million copies daily August 28, 1902 Inside: Weather: Money: Camels to be sold at public auction Hot, Sports: Steroids discovered in Khanna urine sample Dry Life: Elvis appears on Turkish Network TV See A16 DIPLOMATIC RELATIONS CRUMBLE! RUSSIA "A MAJOR THREAT" SAYS SULTAN Constantinople(AP) - In a nationally televised news conference this morning, Sultan Ali Hakim and Defense Minister Ahmed Ka' Mel announced that they fear an end to the non-aggression pact with Russia is close at hand. "We have spoken extensively with Czar Barr over the last week and have found the man to be a totally incompetent military strategist. His ideas are ridiculous and his plan to eliminate Austria is nothing short of looney" the Sultan said. Ka' Mel announced that an offensive against the "Russian idiots" will be launched "very soon" with the intent of sinking the Russian fleet in Sevastapol. "We offered the Czar a very reasonable plan for him to get his fleet where he wanted it. We even offered him safe passage through Constantinople in 1903, and how did he thank us? By demanding we relinquish power in Rumania." "That," said Ka' Mel, "is a definate impossibility." AUSTRIAN RELATIONS STRENGTHEN With the newly announced offensive on Russia, the Sultan has announced a powerful ally in the Emporer of Austria-Hungary. "Emporer Mullens and myself will be sharing a great deal of military strategy in the effort to drive the Russians out of Europe. The Emporer is a very reasonable man and has some wonderful ideas to benefit both of our nations. We like the way he thinks." NEWSLINE: The first Turkish Fleet, stationed in the Black Sea, reported yet another sighting of "Blackie", the Black Sea Monster. The monster was reported to have busted a hole in the hull of the battleship "Camelbreath" and "stole all of our rum." Ka' Mel announced that diplomatic relations have been progressing "quite nicely" with French President Soldat. "Soldat and the Sultan have been hitting it off wonderfully," he said yesterday. In Sports, Sanjay Khanna was stripped of his title in the Greater Asia Minor Camel Trot after anabolic steroids were found in a urine specimen taken after the race. Khanna's record time will be erased and the race will be run again next Spring. ============================================================================== DEADLINES & other business -------------------------- Can I have your builds/disbands by Friday 16th February at 12 midday EST. The Spring 1903 deadline will be Monday 19th February at 10pm EST. As to the vote for speeding the game up:- 3 yeses, 1 no, and 3 NVRs, so the game will not be speeded up. Winter '01 of the game HOHENZOLLERN (BNC number not known) (GM is jog@hpda.hp.com/Rajeev Jog) Due Feb 16 ************************************************************************** If you are interested in joining the fun here in Electronic Protocol, send mail to Eric_S_Klien@cup.portal.com including your name, home address, home phone number, work phone number, and country preferences. ************************************************************************** ******************************************************************************* * [5;7mLord Zar,Commander Of All He Surveys[0;0m * (and hater of spaces near commas.) * * // Only /\ Internet: xcbe12a@ucrmath.ucr.edu * *\\ // /--\MIGA QuantumLink: Lord Zar * * \X/ USNail: 100 Aberdeen Drive Box #737 * * Riverside,CA 92507 * * /// * * /// Only /| __ _ * * \\\/// /_| |\/| | | _ /_\ makes it * * \/\/ / | | | | |__| / \ possible... * ******************************************************************************* * "The only good Assassin/Paladin/Telepath/Telekinetic is a dead one!" --Me * ******************************************************************************* Up