UEFL - Central Division From: jbillone@jarthur.Claremont.EDU (Jeremy Billones) Date: Thu, 12 Apr 1990 01:42:40 +0000 UEFL League Report vol 1, issue 10 FINAL STANDINGS: Central Division: LP Club W L D GS-GA CP TP BANK($K) 43 Tuxedo Park Ridgebacks 19 6 5 93-39 5.0*# 3 887 38 Safety in Numbers 18 10 2 106-66 3.0 2 1215 32 Amdahl Unlimited 15 13 2 88-83 3.5* 3 1270 29 Hoary Marmots 11 12 7 58-50 5.0 # 3+1 1263 29 The New Lions 11 12 7 60-57 4.0 3 1212 27 Gandy-Dancers 12 15 3 73-104 4.0 5 1260 26 Drunken Stupor 9 13 8 37-75 4.5* 8 1404 25 The Noble Physicists 10 15 5 75-72 3.0* 1 1085 25 Oxaxaca Tortugas 11 16 3 67-85 5.0 9+1 1501 24 The Bathtub Stoppers 11 17 2 62-105 2.0* 3 1325 HM beat tNL for 4th based on goal differential (1st Tie-Breaker) tNP beat OT for 8th on goal differential (1st Tie-Breaker) note: TP column includes free scouting reports (n+free_scouts). # indicates dude player this session * indicates early-bird bonus Commissioner's report: Well, that's it. The top 4 teams are in, the rest wait 'till Fall. One thing I did was to roll up the actual minute each event occured (carding, shot, injury, etc.) I won't include every list due to space constraints (this thing is long enough as it is), but I made some rude comments where appropriate. Press releases: [GM]- East Dorm Lounge expresses social disaproval of the Noble (snicker) Physicists behavior in match 29. [Bathtub Stoppers] 'I'm utterly gutted', commented coach Wise in response to the Stoppers latest run of results. 'How in hells name could we go and lose to the Physicists??' The latest results from Session I have seen the Stoppers fall to last place, only to still remain only 6 points from playoff contention. 'Realistically we're out of it', Playford mused, 'but we're not giving up. Three wins from these last three games is unlikely, but...'. A 0-0 draw against the lowly Gandy-Dancers was the only reward from what promised to be a useful session. 'That match was a complete deadlock with neither of the teams capable of even one shot on target. We played like a bunch of headless chickens!', coach Wise said. The game that followed saw the Physicists take two points from the Stoppers in a match where the Stoppers goal came under a barrage of shots from the home forwards. 'What is there to say??', manager Playford said when leaving the ground, 'We were useless.' The final game of the session offered a little more hope for the new management team, with a 3-0 loss at Safety in Numbers. 'We came here knowing a victory was beyond us and that it was up to us to confound the opposition. I think we did that?', Wise quizzically added. When questioned about the team future manager Playford said, 'Well its up to the lads to prove to us that we should keep faith in them, this last session is make or break for them as far as I'm concerned. Get us off bottom spot, I told them, or John and I are out the door.' [Tuxedo Park Ridgebacks] TPR wishes the new commissioner good luck! [Drunken Stupor] [Tom T. Nose, Bud Bowl, Milwaukee] When this reporter got in to see Coach Eacker he was fuming. He had managed to shutdown Gorilla with the Hoary Marmots, but he was extremely upset that Daniels and Eray were injured. He does not like getting players injured. Luckily the injuries were not extreme but he was a little perturbed that they occurred against the Physicists. They aren't a very blood thirsty bunch and the injuries should not have occurred. He went on to say that the team had a tough schedule in Session J against the 3 & 4 rated teams of Amdahl and the Lions. He was going to see what he could do against these two teams. He hopes to see if he can gain enough League Points to catapult him into the #4 spot this round. Overall he is quite pleased with the play of the Stupers and hopes that they will be able to come together as a team in this final session. In any case he is glad to have been able to pick up the reins and come away with at least a tie against the Marmots in the last session. [Hoary Marmots] Wrapping up the season, the Hoary Marmots announced that their last regular season home game would be Fan Appreciation Day. If, by some stroke of luck, the Marmots make it into post-season play, a big celebaration is in store... [The Noble Physicists] The Nobel Physicists will be wearing black armbands this session in memory of William Emil Wickart, grandfather of the current manager, who died on the morning of March 30. No further press is available. [Safety in Numbers] The team wants to announce that although they probably will not be playing together after the Shocker's Cup games, there will be no trade or sale negotiations untill after the end of the season. Match report: ============================================================================== Match 1: Bathtub Stoppers at Drunken Stupor 1 - 2 shots 1 - 3 Derbocks (bk) B Lite (bk) Pele (1) M Lite (1) Filling (1) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Tuxedo Park Ridgebacks at The Noble Physicists 6 - 5 shots 18 - 13 Orshalik (bk) Hertz (bk:1) Rezvani (bk) Curie (1) Botsana (1) Millikan (1) Fleck (1) Planck (1) Feynman (4) Michelson (1) A total of 5 shots were taken in extra time, with goals by Curie and Feynman. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Hoary Marmots at Oxaxaca Tortugas 3 - 1 shots 4 - 3 Runner (1) Day (1) Gonzales (2) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Safety in Numbers at The New Lions 1 - 1 shots 1 - 4 Brady (bk:1) Kepler(1) Brady's shot and goal came late in extra time, right before the whistle blew. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Gandy-Dancers at Amdahl United 0 - 10 shots 0 - 10 Friend (1) Tom (2) Baird (1) Washington (1) Bateman (1) Britton (3) Hindo (1) ============================================================================== Match 2: Bathtub Stoppers at The New Lions 1 - 4 shots 4 - 7 Emover (1) Herschell (1) Li (1) Kepler (1) Fermi (1) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Drunken Stupor at Amdahl United 0 - 3 shots 0 - 5 Jacobson (1) Sterner (2) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Safety in Numbers at The Noble Physicists 3 - 10 shots 7 - 12 Cyphers (1) Planck (2) Completo (2) Millikan (RC:4) Lancaster [inj; broken leg] Hertz (3) Feranbauh (RC) deBroglie (1) Schroedinger (bk) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Oxaxaca Tortugas at Tuxedo Park Ridgebacks 1 - 3 2 - 6 Hay (bk) Lyons (1) Effe (1) Ngumbo (1) deMunoz (1) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Hoary Marmots at Gandy-Dancers 1 - 0 1 - 1 Rabbit (1) ============================================================================== Match 3: The New Lions at Drunken Stupor 0 - 0 shots 1 - 1 Li (bk) Blanca (inj; sprain) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Tuxedo Park Ridgebacks at Hoary Marmots 2 - 2 shots 5 - 2 Cooder (2) Pixie (bk) Tenn. Tux. (bk) Snagglepus (bk:1) Yosemitie Sam (1) Mag. Gorila (1pen:0) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Noble Physicists at Gandy-Dancers 1 - 0 shots 1 - 0 Heisenberg [inj;muscle pull] Wadley [inj;sprain] Schroedinger (bk) Gandy, Sr [inj;ligaments] Knehans (1) [inj;concussion] Hyndman [inj;sprain] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Amdahl United at Safety in Numbers 0 - 11 shots 0 - 15 Brady (1) Feranbauh (2) Cyphers (bk:1) Kicker (4) Giacco (2) Nyveen (1) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Oxaxaca Tortugas at Bathtub Stoppers 1 - 4 shots 1 - 9 Eme [inj;muscle pull] Pele (3) Hay (bk) [inj;muscle pull] Shin (1) E [inj;sprain] Effe [inj;sprain] Aiy (1) [inj;concussion] Day [inj;sprain] Chay [inj;sprain] Bay [inj;concussion] Say [inj;ligaments] ============================================================================== bk = booked (+4 DP), RC = thrown out(bk x2) (+10 DP), inj = injured, #pen:# = # of penalty shots:penalty goals scored, # = goals scored ============================================================================== next deadlines: Shocker's Cup - April 27th Early Bird April 24th next season - TBA Up