Diplomacy Zine -- EP #169 Chapter Five

From: Eric_S_Klien@cup.portal.com

Date: Fri, 18 May 1990 03:21:54 +0000

Issue #168 of ELECTRONIC PROTOCOL:

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Endicott sank to his knees on the sidewalk, clutching the top edge of the
box with both hands for support.  There were no coins in his pocket, but
he did not need them.  He stared through the scratched glass at the front
page of the Boston Globe for Monday, August 22, 1966, stared with
disbelief at the small headline tucked in a box at the top:

Sports:  BOSOX LOSE in 10th,

INDIANS SWEEP YANKS ...IC

He was not in Philadelphia.  He was not even in what he would have called
Boston.  He was somewhere that could not be, where things that he knew to
be false were apparently true.  And for the first time in his life he felt
the horrible touch of desperate insecurity that comes from questioning
whether there really were any rules to the game.
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Chapter One contains:

BLITZKRIEG, GETTYSBURG, BUSHIDO, RED STORM RISING, and COMRADES IN ARMS

And is published by daybell@aludra.usc.edu/Donald Daybell

Chapter Two contains:

DRAGONSLAYER, BISMARK, COLD WAR, JACAL, MANHATTAN, VERSAILLES,
and DRESDEN

And is published by tedward@cs.cornell.edu/Ted Fischer

Chapter Three contains:

MULHOUSE, DAWN PATROL, SNIKKEL-2, BERLIN, SNIKKEL-1, EL ALAMEIN,
SQUALANE, UNGAWE, CAPTAIN CAVEMAN

And is published by cwekx@htikub5.bitnet/Constantijn Wekx

Chapter Four contains:

FIRE WHEN READY, DREADNOUGHT, JUGGERNAUGHT, BIG WILLIE,
NICKEL, and OZARK

And is published by lord_zar@ucrmath.ucr.edu/Wayne Wallace

-------------
Chapter Five
-------------

Nothing has happened since the last issue was published since I
just published it 15 minutes ago.  New results will start again
in issue #170.  I needed to catch up in publishing the chapters.

Publisher comments:

Quote from From p. 6 of Alternities by Michael P. Kube-McDowell.
Remember that I am always looking for more quotes!

I need some standbys and some scribes.  If anyone wants to type in some
new articles, I would love to send them to you!

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                              CONTEST!
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The Fall 1904 turn of a DIPLOMACY game looms.  You have the role of Italy,
and despite various threats, have done well up to this point by gaining a
center or two each year.  Now you wish to maximize your gains for 1904.
You have been approached by both Russia and Turkey offering you assistance.
Assuming that each of those players would write their orders as you ask, which
alliance should you accept?  Or should you go it alone.  Upon your decision
hangs your victory.

In this contest, you need only draft your orders with a view to attaining
the maximum number of builds in the upcoming Winter season.  But there is
a catch -- one set of orders must be drafted with the assumption that
Turkey is your loyal ally (i.e. he will write any orders supporting your
moves that you may wish); the other set must assume that Russia is loyal.
You need not worry about the pieces of any other power; they will not
interfere with events in the East.  Positions of all Italian, Russian,
and Turkish units are as follows:

Unit positions:

ITALY: F AEG, F TYS, F ION, A APU, A TRI, A VIE
RUSSIA: A SWE, A WAR, A BUD, A RUM, A MOS, F BLA, F BAL
TURKEY: A ARM, A CON, A GRE, A SER, F ANK, F BUL(ec)

Supply centers:

ITALY: ROM, NAP, VEN, TUN, VIE, TRI
RUSSIA: MOS, WAR, STP, SEV, SWE, BUD, RUM
TURKEY: CON, ANK, SMY, GRE, SER, BUL

Those able to guarantee the maximum number of builds for the Winter 1904 turns
will be declared winners.  Based on the evaluation of options, indicate the
preferred enemy (Russia or Turkey) you will concentrate on, assuming a steady
alliance with the other.  As a tie-breaker, entrants must indicate their Winter
builds (location and type of unit) in order to continue eastwart expansion
against the chosen enemy.

Good luck!  Send your entries directly to me at eric_s_klien@cup.portal.com.

The following two articles are a reprint from PROTOCOL #5 (my postal zine)

Taken from Blunt Instruments #1:

Article by Bruce Geryk.

Certain decisions in one's life can give one a valuable insight into
one's priorities.  Just such an occassion occurred last week.  With
mid-terms coming up in a few weeks, your intrepid editor decided it
was time to take a much-needed vacation, and set out one windy
Thursday morning from downtown Chicago, headed for

BRUXCON/TOMATOCON '86
                        (in Newfane, Vermount)

Unfortunately, my trip had a rather ominous beginning.  The original
plan was for me to leave Chicago at six o'clock Thursday evening
(October 23rd), switch buses in Cleveland, and arrive in Albany at
one in the afternoon on Friday, to get a ride to Paul Gardner's house
with Mike Barno.  However, the bus I was on ended up breaking down
halfway between Toledo and Cleveland.  The result was that I missed
the connection, and spent five long hours in the Cleveland bus
station waiting for the next bus out.  Eventually, I got to Albany at
nine on Friday night, where I was greeted by Bruce Linsey and Bruce
McIntyre.  This carload of Bruces proceeded to the Albany airport, to
be joined by Steve and Linda Courtemanche.  From there, it was on to
Brux's mother's hourse, where hefty portions of pizza awaited your
by-now starving editor.

Along with the pizza came an introduction to Survive!, a relatively
simple yet quite interesting game by Parker Brothers which ended up
being the surprise hit of the con.  The center of the contest is a
sinking tropical island, made up of individual hexagonal tiles, on
which are printed one of three types of terrain: sand, jungle, or
rock.  The tiles are set up at random within a predetermined area in
the middle of the board, which is surrounded by open water.  ON these
tiles, the players place thier tokens, which represent people trapped
on the island.  Each token has a point value printed on the
underside.  The object is to get the tokens off the island and onto
dry land before the island sinks completely.  Each turn, a player may
move his tokens by swimming or by boat.  After each turn, the players
remove one tile, which is considered to have sunk beneath the waves.
On the underside of each tile are printed various events, such as
whale or shark appearance, dolphin assistance, and the like.  The
players must make their way through the sharks, whales, whirlpools,
and sea monsters before the tile with the volcanic explosion printed
on it is removed, ending the game.  Steve, Brux, McBruce, and I
played a game, which I happened to win, which figures, as I was the
only person who hadn't played before.  Before long, we were off
again, this time to Brux's apartment, where, after another game of
Survive! and a perusal of several back issues of THE VOICE OF DOOM, I
managed to go to sleep, despite the fact that I had just slept for
about twelve hours on the bus.

Early Friday morning, we packed ourselves into Brux's car and drove
to Pittsfield to pick up Steve Hutton and Alan Stewart at the bus
station.  From there, all seven(!) of us made the trip to Paul
Gardner's.  Seven people made for quite a full car, but no one seemed
to mind, and a quick stop for breakfast at Dot's Restaurant (don't
ask me which hamlet it was in, as I lost track eventually) refreshed
all of us weary travellers.  From there, it was but a short hop to
the site of the festivities, where I was determined that I would play
at least one game of Titan.

The festivities were in full swing indeed, as was evidenced by the
smoke pouring out of Paul's house.  Well, not exactly pouring, but
there was enough to prevent us from going into the house for a few
minutes.  Apparently, shortly before we arrived, the fireplace
decided to malfunction, causing the smoke to go everywhere except
where it was supposed to (up the chimney).  Consequently, when Steve
Hutton, Alan Stewart, Mike Barno, and I decided to play Survive!
(again), we did so outside on a picnic table.  Outside, I made the
acquaintance of Gary Coughlan, Simon Bellenness, and Dave Lincoln.
The chill air did not seem to affect Alan's play, and he made short
work of the rest of us (although Steve came close to beating him at
the end).  Other hardy souls had a go at frisbee, although by the
time the Survive! game ended, the frisbee players were nowhere to be
seen.

Shortly afterward, I joined an Axis & Allies game in progress, in
which Dave Lincoln's daugher Rebecca was doing quite well as Germany.
Allen Wells was bearing the brunt of the attack as Russia, while
Dave's son Bryan was fighting a valiant defensive action as Britain.
I switched places with Dave, who was sitting in as the United States,
and was under attack from John Rigley's Japan.  Try as we might,
there was just no stopping John and Rebecca, and we eventually
conceded the game to a victorious Axis alliance.

At this point, I was all set to lose myself in Titan for several
hours.  However, Allen Wells and several others were pushing for
Diplomacy, and after a dramatic die roll, it was decided that
Diplomacy would be next on the agenda.  Drawing Russia, I proceeded
to let Austria (Michael Ward) and Turkey (Arye Gittelman) waltz all
over me (for which I earned Allen Wells' enduring enmity, as his
Germany ended up having to fend off my units for no good reason).  At
this point, Russ Rusnak suggested a Titan game for anyone who cared
to play, and I gleefully suicided in anticipation of some serious
legion-stomping.  My last army died in Tyrolia in 1903.  This had
taken a while, though, and by the time I was free, Russ had decided
to take a nap (we Midwesterners are a wild bunch!), and I was left
without a Titan opponent.

Ironically (from my point of view), a "blind" Gunboat Diplomacy game
was forming, and I volunteered to GM.  The players were:  Jeff Zarse
(Austria), Tom de Graaf (England), Dave Lincoln (France), Alan
Stewart (Germany), Gary Coughlan (Italy), Steve Hutton (Russia), and
Ron Krukowski (Turkey).  The game progressed quickly, as the players
had only five minutes in which to write orders.  After several hours
of intense play, the game ended in Fall, 1909 in a three-way draw
between Germany (ten centers), France and Turkey (both at eight).
Gary Coughlan was probably bored for most of the game, as his Italy
was knocked out in 1904, yet he had to stay at the board and continue
to submit orders to preserve the "blind" aspect of the game.  He hid
it well, however, as his orders either contained orders for other
countries (which actually succeeded in fooling me once, when I
couldn't tell the difference between his handwriting and Steve
Hutton's and consequently retreated a Russian unit incorrectly --
Steve, of course, couldn't protest) or humourous messages.  MIke
Barno joined us as England after Tom had to leave.  It was a lot of
fun at the end when the players actually wrote down their guesses as
to who played which country.  I don't have the actual written
guesses, but believe me when I say that some players were quite a bit
off the mark!

The game was momentarily interrupted for dinner, which consisted of
"Uncle Brux's Special Spaghetti" (for which large quantities of his
"secret formula" sauce had been frozen and shipped to Paul's before
the con), which was quite unique and tasty, and Simon Billenness'
Vegetarian Chili, which reaffirmed my belief that meat is often a
completely unnecessary ingredient in many dishes.  Simon's chili was
simply fantastic, and I am kicking myself for not secretly
photographing the ingredents list when he briefly showed it to me.
Simon, the chili was incredible!  How about trading that recipe for
some sub credit?

Also available were massive quantities of pickles, provided courtesy
of Bruce Linsey, who obviously knew that the success of a con is
directly proportional to the amount of pickled cucumbers on hand for
general consumption.  I had several, but I can assure you that had
there been no chili or spaghetti, we could have had a hearty meal
consisting solely of pickles, and had some left over for breakfast.

After the Gunboat game, Simon, Alan Stewart, Jeff Zarse, Steve
Hutton, Mike Barno, and I played a couple of games of Mayfair's
Family Business, a quick-playing card game of mob warfare in which
one tries to be the last gang to survive while killing off the other
players' gangsters.  Each player's hand contains offensive and
defensive cards, the optimum balance of which is paramount to winning
play.  Players try to put other players' gangsters on the "hit list",
which puts them in deadly peril should a mob war begin.  Play flows
smoothly from player to player, and a well-placed defensive card can
swing the momentum in that player's favor.  Alan and I each won one
game, although (obviously) much depends on the simple luck of a
player's cards.

The cahcnes for a Titan game on Saturday became very slim indeed when
Ron Krukowski announced the opening of a massive Circus Maximus
game.  Ron had brought with him a huge, table-sized mapboard and a
slew of beautiful hand-painted miniature chariots.  To my memory,
thirteen people played, through far fewer chariots than that actually
finished.  The players (as in any Circus Maximus game) were divided
into two categories: those that wanted to drive fast, and those that
wanted to crush other chariots.  The "heavies" of the latter category
generally gave up their chances of winning, though they are usually
instrumental in determining which of the light chariots survive to
get across the finish line.  Attrition in the game changes the place
standings radically as the game progresses, as was evidenced by the
fact that I, with the benefit of exceptionally sturdy hourse (75
endurance points) found myself in first place about two-thirds of the
way through the game after a rather mediocre start.

Unfortunately, the incessant whipping to which I had subjected my
horses throughout the race and the beating which they had taken from
the "enforcer" chariots of Russ Rusnak and Peter Mateunas finally
caught up with me, as my first horse was killed in the final
straightaway.  This allowed Jeff Zarse to speed past me into first
place and an eventual win a few minutes later.  As always, the winner
was the one who managed to be as unobstrusive as possible and avoid
being attacked, as Jeff clearly showed.  No one really even knew he
was in contention for the win until the final lap, which I'm sure was
to Jeff's great delight.  Anyway, by then it was almost two in the
morning, I was suffering from the shock of having watched the Red Sox
throw away Game Six of the World Series due to Bill Buckner's misplay
at first base, and I quietly slipped off to sleep (which I almost did
several times during the game itself).

By the next morning I was quite refreshed, although I knew I couldn't
get into any long games since I had to leave Albany by five o'clock
that evening if I were to make it back to Chicago in time for my
Monday afternoon classes.  I did get a chance to play one more game
of Survive! with Nelson Heintzman, and Dave and Rebecca Lincoln.
Thanks to a setup which hindered the movement of the sea creatures,
we were all able to save more of our pieces that usual.  I saved the
most and won the game.  After this, I wandered over to the boxes of
'zines sitting of a table and spent a peaceful morning reading
through some vintage copies of Excelsior, Europa Express, and several
others.

At about one o'clock, it was time for me to head back to Chicago.
Bruce Linsey was kind enough to drive me and the Courtemanches back
to Albany, and we indulged in an informal game of Scruples on the
way, which simply consisted of our reading the questions to one
another and defending our answers.  We make a short stop at
McDonald's for lunch, where Brux became BI's first official
subscriber by earning two issues of sub credit by buying lunch for
this editor-to-be (thanks, Bruce!).  After that, it was off to the
Greyhound station, whence I departed on the long journey home (which,
thankfully, did not take another twenty-six hours).

BRUXCON/TOMATOCON '86 was a truly delightful experience.  The turnout
was excellent, and I think I am safe in saying that everyone had a
wonderful time.  My warmest thanks go to Paul Gardner and Bruce
Linsey for organizing such a stupendous gathering, and to Bruce for
providing transportation both to and from Paul's (as well as his
generous gift of Mayfair's Jerusalem).  My memory fails me when
trying to remember everyone who attended, but that does not mean they
were anything less than splendid company.  Next year, I'm going to be
at DipCon '87 in Madison, and I hope to see many of you again.  This
time there won't be any marathon bus rides for me.

Taken from Electric Penguin #5:

Article by John Mirassou.

DRINKER'S FAULT FINDING CHART

I am enjoying publishing this zine.  Keep that mail coming!

Eric Klien