Diplomacy Zine -- EP #169 Chapter Five From: Eric_S_Klien@cup.portal.com Date: Fri, 18 May 1990 03:21:54 +0000 Issue #168 of ELECTRONIC PROTOCOL: ************************************************************************** Endicott sank to his knees on the sidewalk, clutching the top edge of the box with both hands for support. There were no coins in his pocket, but he did not need them. He stared through the scratched glass at the front page of the Boston Globe for Monday, August 22, 1966, stared with disbelief at the small headline tucked in a box at the top: Sports: BOSOX LOSE in 10th, INDIANS SWEEP YANKS ...IC He was not in Philadelphia. He was not even in what he would have called Boston. He was somewhere that could not be, where things that he knew to be false were apparently true. And for the first time in his life he felt the horrible touch of desperate insecurity that comes from questioning whether there really were any rules to the game. ************************************************************************** Chapter One contains: BLITZKRIEG, GETTYSBURG, BUSHIDO, RED STORM RISING, and COMRADES IN ARMS And is published by daybell@aludra.usc.edu/Donald Daybell Chapter Two contains: DRAGONSLAYER, BISMARK, COLD WAR, JACAL, MANHATTAN, VERSAILLES, and DRESDEN And is published by tedward@cs.cornell.edu/Ted Fischer Chapter Three contains: MULHOUSE, DAWN PATROL, SNIKKEL-2, BERLIN, SNIKKEL-1, EL ALAMEIN, SQUALANE, UNGAWE, CAPTAIN CAVEMAN And is published by cwekx@htikub5.bitnet/Constantijn Wekx Chapter Four contains: FIRE WHEN READY, DREADNOUGHT, JUGGERNAUGHT, BIG WILLIE, NICKEL, and OZARK And is published by lord_zar@ucrmath.ucr.edu/Wayne Wallace ------------- Chapter Five ------------- Nothing has happened since the last issue was published since I just published it 15 minutes ago. New results will start again in issue #170. I needed to catch up in publishing the chapters. Publisher comments: Quote from From p. 6 of Alternities by Michael P. Kube-McDowell. Remember that I am always looking for more quotes! I need some standbys and some scribes. If anyone wants to type in some new articles, I would love to send them to you! ************************************************************************** CONTEST! ************************************************************************** The Fall 1904 turn of a DIPLOMACY game looms. You have the role of Italy, and despite various threats, have done well up to this point by gaining a center or two each year. Now you wish to maximize your gains for 1904. You have been approached by both Russia and Turkey offering you assistance. Assuming that each of those players would write their orders as you ask, which alliance should you accept? Or should you go it alone. Upon your decision hangs your victory. In this contest, you need only draft your orders with a view to attaining the maximum number of builds in the upcoming Winter season. But there is a catch -- one set of orders must be drafted with the assumption that Turkey is your loyal ally (i.e. he will write any orders supporting your moves that you may wish); the other set must assume that Russia is loyal. You need not worry about the pieces of any other power; they will not interfere with events in the East. Positions of all Italian, Russian, and Turkish units are as follows: Unit positions: ITALY: F AEG, F TYS, F ION, A APU, A TRI, A VIE RUSSIA: A SWE, A WAR, A BUD, A RUM, A MOS, F BLA, F BAL TURKEY: A ARM, A CON, A GRE, A SER, F ANK, F BUL(ec) Supply centers: ITALY: ROM, NAP, VEN, TUN, VIE, TRI RUSSIA: MOS, WAR, STP, SEV, SWE, BUD, RUM TURKEY: CON, ANK, SMY, GRE, SER, BUL Those able to guarantee the maximum number of builds for the Winter 1904 turns will be declared winners. Based on the evaluation of options, indicate the preferred enemy (Russia or Turkey) you will concentrate on, assuming a steady alliance with the other. As a tie-breaker, entrants must indicate their Winter builds (location and type of unit) in order to continue eastwart expansion against the chosen enemy. Good luck! Send your entries directly to me at eric_s_klien@cup.portal.com. The following two articles are a reprint from PROTOCOL #5 (my postal zine) Taken from Blunt Instruments #1: Article by Bruce Geryk. Certain decisions in one's life can give one a valuable insight into one's priorities. Just such an occassion occurred last week. With mid-terms coming up in a few weeks, your intrepid editor decided it was time to take a much-needed vacation, and set out one windy Thursday morning from downtown Chicago, headed for BRUXCON/TOMATOCON '86 (in Newfane, Vermount) Unfortunately, my trip had a rather ominous beginning. The original plan was for me to leave Chicago at six o'clock Thursday evening (October 23rd), switch buses in Cleveland, and arrive in Albany at one in the afternoon on Friday, to get a ride to Paul Gardner's house with Mike Barno. However, the bus I was on ended up breaking down halfway between Toledo and Cleveland. The result was that I missed the connection, and spent five long hours in the Cleveland bus station waiting for the next bus out. Eventually, I got to Albany at nine on Friday night, where I was greeted by Bruce Linsey and Bruce McIntyre. This carload of Bruces proceeded to the Albany airport, to be joined by Steve and Linda Courtemanche. From there, it was on to Brux's mother's hourse, where hefty portions of pizza awaited your by-now starving editor. Along with the pizza came an introduction to Survive!, a relatively simple yet quite interesting game by Parker Brothers which ended up being the surprise hit of the con. The center of the contest is a sinking tropical island, made up of individual hexagonal tiles, on which are printed one of three types of terrain: sand, jungle, or rock. The tiles are set up at random within a predetermined area in the middle of the board, which is surrounded by open water. ON these tiles, the players place thier tokens, which represent people trapped on the island. Each token has a point value printed on the underside. The object is to get the tokens off the island and onto dry land before the island sinks completely. Each turn, a player may move his tokens by swimming or by boat. After each turn, the players remove one tile, which is considered to have sunk beneath the waves. On the underside of each tile are printed various events, such as whale or shark appearance, dolphin assistance, and the like. The players must make their way through the sharks, whales, whirlpools, and sea monsters before the tile with the volcanic explosion printed on it is removed, ending the game. Steve, Brux, McBruce, and I played a game, which I happened to win, which figures, as I was the only person who hadn't played before. Before long, we were off again, this time to Brux's apartment, where, after another game of Survive! and a perusal of several back issues of THE VOICE OF DOOM, I managed to go to sleep, despite the fact that I had just slept for about twelve hours on the bus. Early Friday morning, we packed ourselves into Brux's car and drove to Pittsfield to pick up Steve Hutton and Alan Stewart at the bus station. From there, all seven(!) of us made the trip to Paul Gardner's. Seven people made for quite a full car, but no one seemed to mind, and a quick stop for breakfast at Dot's Restaurant (don't ask me which hamlet it was in, as I lost track eventually) refreshed all of us weary travellers. From there, it was but a short hop to the site of the festivities, where I was determined that I would play at least one game of Titan. The festivities were in full swing indeed, as was evidenced by the smoke pouring out of Paul's house. Well, not exactly pouring, but there was enough to prevent us from going into the house for a few minutes. Apparently, shortly before we arrived, the fireplace decided to malfunction, causing the smoke to go everywhere except where it was supposed to (up the chimney). Consequently, when Steve Hutton, Alan Stewart, Mike Barno, and I decided to play Survive! (again), we did so outside on a picnic table. Outside, I made the acquaintance of Gary Coughlan, Simon Bellenness, and Dave Lincoln. The chill air did not seem to affect Alan's play, and he made short work of the rest of us (although Steve came close to beating him at the end). Other hardy souls had a go at frisbee, although by the time the Survive! game ended, the frisbee players were nowhere to be seen. Shortly afterward, I joined an Axis & Allies game in progress, in which Dave Lincoln's daugher Rebecca was doing quite well as Germany. Allen Wells was bearing the brunt of the attack as Russia, while Dave's son Bryan was fighting a valiant defensive action as Britain. I switched places with Dave, who was sitting in as the United States, and was under attack from John Rigley's Japan. Try as we might, there was just no stopping John and Rebecca, and we eventually conceded the game to a victorious Axis alliance. At this point, I was all set to lose myself in Titan for several hours. However, Allen Wells and several others were pushing for Diplomacy, and after a dramatic die roll, it was decided that Diplomacy would be next on the agenda. Drawing Russia, I proceeded to let Austria (Michael Ward) and Turkey (Arye Gittelman) waltz all over me (for which I earned Allen Wells' enduring enmity, as his Germany ended up having to fend off my units for no good reason). At this point, Russ Rusnak suggested a Titan game for anyone who cared to play, and I gleefully suicided in anticipation of some serious legion-stomping. My last army died in Tyrolia in 1903. This had taken a while, though, and by the time I was free, Russ had decided to take a nap (we Midwesterners are a wild bunch!), and I was left without a Titan opponent. Ironically (from my point of view), a "blind" Gunboat Diplomacy game was forming, and I volunteered to GM. The players were: Jeff Zarse (Austria), Tom de Graaf (England), Dave Lincoln (France), Alan Stewart (Germany), Gary Coughlan (Italy), Steve Hutton (Russia), and Ron Krukowski (Turkey). The game progressed quickly, as the players had only five minutes in which to write orders. After several hours of intense play, the game ended in Fall, 1909 in a three-way draw between Germany (ten centers), France and Turkey (both at eight). Gary Coughlan was probably bored for most of the game, as his Italy was knocked out in 1904, yet he had to stay at the board and continue to submit orders to preserve the "blind" aspect of the game. He hid it well, however, as his orders either contained orders for other countries (which actually succeeded in fooling me once, when I couldn't tell the difference between his handwriting and Steve Hutton's and consequently retreated a Russian unit incorrectly -- Steve, of course, couldn't protest) or humourous messages. MIke Barno joined us as England after Tom had to leave. It was a lot of fun at the end when the players actually wrote down their guesses as to who played which country. I don't have the actual written guesses, but believe me when I say that some players were quite a bit off the mark! The game was momentarily interrupted for dinner, which consisted of "Uncle Brux's Special Spaghetti" (for which large quantities of his "secret formula" sauce had been frozen and shipped to Paul's before the con), which was quite unique and tasty, and Simon Billenness' Vegetarian Chili, which reaffirmed my belief that meat is often a completely unnecessary ingredient in many dishes. Simon's chili was simply fantastic, and I am kicking myself for not secretly photographing the ingredents list when he briefly showed it to me. Simon, the chili was incredible! How about trading that recipe for some sub credit? Also available were massive quantities of pickles, provided courtesy of Bruce Linsey, who obviously knew that the success of a con is directly proportional to the amount of pickled cucumbers on hand for general consumption. I had several, but I can assure you that had there been no chili or spaghetti, we could have had a hearty meal consisting solely of pickles, and had some left over for breakfast. After the Gunboat game, Simon, Alan Stewart, Jeff Zarse, Steve Hutton, Mike Barno, and I played a couple of games of Mayfair's Family Business, a quick-playing card game of mob warfare in which one tries to be the last gang to survive while killing off the other players' gangsters. Each player's hand contains offensive and defensive cards, the optimum balance of which is paramount to winning play. Players try to put other players' gangsters on the "hit list", which puts them in deadly peril should a mob war begin. Play flows smoothly from player to player, and a well-placed defensive card can swing the momentum in that player's favor. Alan and I each won one game, although (obviously) much depends on the simple luck of a player's cards. The cahcnes for a Titan game on Saturday became very slim indeed when Ron Krukowski announced the opening of a massive Circus Maximus game. Ron had brought with him a huge, table-sized mapboard and a slew of beautiful hand-painted miniature chariots. To my memory, thirteen people played, through far fewer chariots than that actually finished. The players (as in any Circus Maximus game) were divided into two categories: those that wanted to drive fast, and those that wanted to crush other chariots. The "heavies" of the latter category generally gave up their chances of winning, though they are usually instrumental in determining which of the light chariots survive to get across the finish line. Attrition in the game changes the place standings radically as the game progresses, as was evidenced by the fact that I, with the benefit of exceptionally sturdy hourse (75 endurance points) found myself in first place about two-thirds of the way through the game after a rather mediocre start. Unfortunately, the incessant whipping to which I had subjected my horses throughout the race and the beating which they had taken from the "enforcer" chariots of Russ Rusnak and Peter Mateunas finally caught up with me, as my first horse was killed in the final straightaway. This allowed Jeff Zarse to speed past me into first place and an eventual win a few minutes later. As always, the winner was the one who managed to be as unobstrusive as possible and avoid being attacked, as Jeff clearly showed. No one really even knew he was in contention for the win until the final lap, which I'm sure was to Jeff's great delight. Anyway, by then it was almost two in the morning, I was suffering from the shock of having watched the Red Sox throw away Game Six of the World Series due to Bill Buckner's misplay at first base, and I quietly slipped off to sleep (which I almost did several times during the game itself). By the next morning I was quite refreshed, although I knew I couldn't get into any long games since I had to leave Albany by five o'clock that evening if I were to make it back to Chicago in time for my Monday afternoon classes. I did get a chance to play one more game of Survive! with Nelson Heintzman, and Dave and Rebecca Lincoln. Thanks to a setup which hindered the movement of the sea creatures, we were all able to save more of our pieces that usual. I saved the most and won the game. After this, I wandered over to the boxes of 'zines sitting of a table and spent a peaceful morning reading through some vintage copies of Excelsior, Europa Express, and several others. At about one o'clock, it was time for me to head back to Chicago. Bruce Linsey was kind enough to drive me and the Courtemanches back to Albany, and we indulged in an informal game of Scruples on the way, which simply consisted of our reading the questions to one another and defending our answers. We make a short stop at McDonald's for lunch, where Brux became BI's first official subscriber by earning two issues of sub credit by buying lunch for this editor-to-be (thanks, Bruce!). After that, it was off to the Greyhound station, whence I departed on the long journey home (which, thankfully, did not take another twenty-six hours). BRUXCON/TOMATOCON '86 was a truly delightful experience. The turnout was excellent, and I think I am safe in saying that everyone had a wonderful time. My warmest thanks go to Paul Gardner and Bruce Linsey for organizing such a stupendous gathering, and to Bruce for providing transportation both to and from Paul's (as well as his generous gift of Mayfair's Jerusalem). My memory fails me when trying to remember everyone who attended, but that does not mean they were anything less than splendid company. Next year, I'm going to be at DipCon '87 in Madison, and I hope to see many of you again. This time there won't be any marathon bus rides for me. Taken from Electric Penguin #5: Article by John Mirassou. DRINKER'S FAULT FINDING CHART SYMPTOM PROBLEM SOLUTION --------------------------------------------------------------------------- | | | | | Drinking fails to | Mouth not open while | Buy another pint and | | give satisfaction | drinking or glass being | practice in front of | | and taste: shirt | applied to the wrong | mirror. Drink as | | front wet. | part of the face. | many as necessary | | | | until technique is | | | | perfected. | | | | | +-----------------------+-------------------------+-----------------------+ | | | | | Drinking fails to | Glass empty. | Find someone who | | give satisfaction | | will buy you another | | and taste: beer | | pint. | | unusually pale and | | | | clear. | | | | | | | +-----------------------+-------------------------+-----------------------+ | | | | | Feet cold and wet. | Glass being held at | Turn glass the other | | | incorrect angle. | way up so that open | | | | end is pointing | | | | towards the ceiling. | | | | | | | | | +-----------------------+-------------------------+-----------------------+ | | | | | Feet warm and wet. | Incorrect bladder | Go and stand next to | | | control. | the nearest dog - | | | | after awhile complain | | | | to the owner about | | | | it's lack of house | | | | training. Demand a | | | | pint as compensation. | | | | | +-----------------------+-------------------------+-----------------------+ | | | | | Bar blurred. | You are looking | Find someone who will | | | through the bottom | buy you another pint. | | | of your empty glass. | | | | | | +-----------------------+-------------------------+-----------------------+ | | | | | Bar moving. | You are being carried | Find out if you're | | | out. | being taken to | | | | another pub - if not | | | | complain loudly that | | | | you are being | | | | hijacked by the | | | | Salvation Army. | | | | | +-----------------------+-------------------------+-----------------------+ | | | | | You notice that | You have fallen over | If your glass is | | the wall opposite | backwards. | still full and no | | is covered with | | one is standing on | | ceiling tiles, | | your drinking arm, | | and has a | | stick it out. If | | fluorescent strip | | not, get someone to | | across it. | | help you up and lash | | | | you to the bar. | | | | | +-----------------------+-------------------------+-----------------------+ | | | | | Everything has gone | You have fallen over | See above. | | dim: you have a | forwards. | | | mouthful of dog-ends | | | | and broken teeth. | | | | | | | +-----------------------+-------------------------+-----------------------+ | | | | | Everything has gone | The pub is closing. | Panic. | | dark. | | | | | | | +-----------------------+-------------------------+-----------------------+ | | | | | You have woken up | You have spent the | Check your watch to | | to find your bed | night in the gutter. | see if it's opening | | hard, cold and wet. | | time. If not, treat | | You cannot see your | | yourself to a lie | | bedroom walls or | | in. | | ceiling. | | | | | | | +-----------------------+-------------------------+-----------------------+ I am enjoying publishing this zine. Keep that mail coming! Eric Klien Up