Diplomacy Zine -- EP #161 Chapter Five From: Eric_S_Klien@cup.portal.com Date: Wed, 25 Apr 1990 03:37:38 +0000 Issue #161 of ELECTRONIC PROTOCOL: ********************************************************************* Computers make excellent and efficient servants, but I have no wish to serve under them. Captain, a starship also runs on loyalty to one man. And nothing can replace it or him. ********************************************************************* Chapter One contains: BLITZKRIEG, OPERATION OVERLORD, GETTYSBURG, and HMS HOOD And is published by daybell@aludra.usc.edu/Donald Daybell Chapter Two contains: DRAGONSLAYER, BISMARK, COLD WAR, JACAL, MANHATTAN, VERSAILLES, and DRESDEN And is published by tedward@cs.cornell.edu/Ted Fischer Chapter Three contains: MULHOUSE, DAWN PATROL, SNIKKEL-2, BERLIN, SNIKKEL-1, EL ALAMEIN, SQUALANE, UNGAWE, CAPTAIN CAVEMAN And is published by cwekx@htikub5.bitnet/Constantijn Wekx Chapter Four contains: FIRE WHEN READY, DREADNOUGHT, HOHENZOLLERN, HUGO, JUGGERNAUGHT And is published by lord_zar@ucrmath.ucr.edu/Wayne Wallace ------------- Chapter Five ------------- Spring '06 of the game BUSHIDO (BNC number 1989IN) (GM is jall@diku.dk/Mogens Jallberg) Due April 25 Winter '04 of the game TOKUGAWA (BNC number 1989IS) (GM is rc0o@andrew.cmu.edu/Bob Cochran) Due this Thursday. Fall '05 of the game DUNKIRK (BNC number 1989KN) (GM is sjzwange@phoenix.princeton.edu/Steven Jacob Zwanger) Dunkirk, Fall 1905 Germany (Brandt): Russia (Lucock): [A Mun H] -- retreat F StP (SC) H F Hel-Den A LVN S F StP H A KIE S A Mun H A HOL S A Kie H Austria (Soare): A MOS H France (Boyce): A WAR H F Bre-MAO A Sev-ARM F Wes-GOL A TYO S A Tri-Ven A MAR H A Tri-VEN A Par-GAS A Ven-ROM A BUR S A Mar H A Boh-MUN A BEL H A BER S A Boh-Mun A ANK S A Sev-Arm Italy (Sinha): F NAP H F Naf-TUN A SIL S A Boh-Mun [A Arm-Ank] -- retreat F SPA (SC) H England (Starkey): A Pie-TUS F NTH S F Den H F Gol-TYN [F DEN S F Nth H] F Aeg-BUL F NWY S F Bar-Stp [F BAR-Stp] F Lon-ECH Positions: Austria: A Mos, A War, A Arm, A Tyo, A Ven, A Rom, A Mun, A Ber, A Ank, F Nap, A Sil England: F Nth, F Den, F Nwy, F Bar, F ECh France: F MAO, F GoL, A Mar, A Gas, A Bur, A Bel Germany: F Hel, A Kie, A Hol, A ??? Italy: F Tun, F Spa (SC), A Tus, F Tyn, F Bul (SC), A ??? Russia: F StP (SC), A Lvn The German army from Munich may retreat to Ruh or disband. The Italian army from Armenia may retreat to Smy or Syr, or disband. The Italian and German retreats are due Wednesday April 25, 6 PM EDT (not 10 PM). Winter 1905 orders are due Saturday, April 28, 10 PM EDT. Steve Autumn '08 of the gunboat game VERDUN (MNC number 1989AZrb32) (GM is eric_s_klien@cup.portal.com/Eric Klien) Turkey retreats F TUN-NAF Winter '08 of the gunboat game VERDUN (MNC number 1989AZrb32) (GM is eric_s_klien@cup.portal.com/Eric Klien) England disbands A WAL France builds F MAR Italy builds A VEN, F ROM Turkey disbands F NAF, F SMY (Turkey got creative with F TUN!) Press: Moscow, January 27, 1908(Reuters) After a brief court-marshall tribunal held in closed session, the head of the Tsar's military intelligence organization Gen. Boris Badanoff, was executed today. The charge was gross neglect of duty and was allegedly caused by failures in the recent Warsaw campaign. Apparently the general staff, relying on reports from MI, believed aid from Italy was forthcoming when in fact the Italian forces were not in a position to lend their assistence. This error lead to the loss of Warsaw to the superior French forces. Foreign Minister Mikhail Davidovitch expressed hope that the French forces could be driven back in the spring. Russia -> Turkey: We are puzzled by your last message. We thought that our alliance with Italy had been plain since your invasion of our territory several years ago. Did you think that a few kind words and empty promises would cause us to leave a true ally? Remember, it was your own paranoia that broke up the Russo-Turkish alliance. Our southern fleet never attempted to move beyond a Rumania you were willing to let us have. If you had been less suspicious, your troops might be in Rome today, instead of his in Ankara. Russia -> Italy: We think that our long range goals are reasonably in tune with your own, to wit, stop France. Unfortunately our generals occasionally have problems implementing these goals. For example, last season our military intelligence (sic) people had our general staff believing that you had an army in Galicia that could help keep the French out. Thus they ordered the attack on Sevastapol in the hope of adding an army and a fleet to the fight against France. Had they known the true situation, the defense of Warsaw would not have been neglected. Two new armies may be better than one, but right now one would be infinitely better than the none we are getting. Once again we prove the truth of the old Russian proverb that it is the greed man who ends up with nothing. France -> Italy: It seems that you are planning a war against me, and so I must build a fleet in Marseilles. Rome (Reuters) The declaration of war on France was met here with very mixed emotions. Pope Bud I refused to appear before the masses to offer leadership. He is reported to be consumed by his new GI Joe action set and has been heard screaming from his chambers about investing in a guillotine. The President offered his outlook by uttering a long, heavy sigh. "We had no choice in the matter," he stated. "The wanton aggression against virtually every nation had to be curtailed. Our long-standing relationship with France is now officially severed. We have recalled our ambassador from Paris." Italy -> France: A draw!?! Hee Hee...that's a good one. Prepare yourself. Your attack on the Poles was foolish and mistimed. You have plently of clean up to do with your current campaigns..why attack Russia? ( I know, it was a previous leader, but that's your problem.) BTW, your maneuvering of Marsailles was inspired. No, I really mean it...really. Thanks for permission to retake Tunis. You can count on me moving west of the Tyrrhenian Sea also. Italy - > Germany: Keep up your efforts on Kiel...They will be rewarded. Italy - > Russia: Well, what now? Italy - > England: I'm sure my movements are coming too late to save you. You're efforts to harrass France are appreciated, however. Keep banging! Italy -> Turkey: It's amazing how fast you've managed to forget your aggresive behavior toward Italy. Remember your naval build up? Oh, yeah! Your attempts to get sympathy from the newly installed leader of France are pathetic, at best. Give it up! You're history! TSAR DISCOVERED TO BE LONG LOST ENGLISH MINISTER!!! London (UPI): The capital city is abuzz today with news that the Russian Tsar is, in fact, the English Minister of Silly Walk who has been missing for over 3 years. The story was confirmed by the absurd troop movements that the Tsar continues to make in his effort to remain in the forefront of European politics. When asked about the Minister returning to his post in England, the Prime Minister said, "No, absolutely not, no way! We have enough silliness as it is! He couldn't even count past 2!" TURKEY -> RUSSIA You're in for it now, you got the green guys after you (the infamous GRUDS are helping them out from the underground, at least those that are left from the Italian massacre). TURKEY -> ITALY That's it, keep 80% of your forces down here in my hell while the French play PAC-MAN at your back door. WAKKA, WAKKA, WAKKA !! TURKEY -> FRANCE COWABUNGA DUDE! I'll keep them occupied for a little (very little) bit more, but you gotta act now, and act fast or it'l be 3 against one (even though I don't count Russia and England as too much of a threat. How- ever, they are tying up a large portion of your forces which could be playing tiddly-winks with the Italians. I can only be a pain for one more turn, two at the most. Then I will probably not have any supply centers left and will lose the last two men I have. After that, the Austrians and I can only offer our moral support. We would both do whatever we could to keep the Italians from even getting a tie in this game Winter '03 of the game BIG WILLIE (MNC number 1989KBrd24) (Blind game, GM is okamoto@hp-ses.hp.com/Jeff Okamoto) Due April 20 Spring '04 of the classic game RED STORM RISING (MNC number 1990Fcb05) (GM is jbillone@jarthur.claremont.edu/Jeremy Billones) Due April 30 Summer 1916 of the game COMRADES IN ARMS (MNC number 1990Ird24) (GM is att!druwa!hardlj or hardlj@druwa.att.com/Larry Hardouin) Fall 1916 moves are due on Tuesday May 1st. Italy disbands A Rom Russia disbands A War, A Mos Winter '02 of the game OZARK (BNC number 1990P) (GM is sam@uafsysb.bitnet/Sam Huntsman) I WILL withdraw as GM on May 4. This should give you plenty of time, Eric =) Deadline for spg03: Wednesday Apr 25. Backup moves will be taken: Friday Apr 27. ____ Germany Builds Armies in Munich and Berlin. TURKEY: Build Army in Smygra (I swear to God, that that is the way the name looks (on my photocopied Diplomacy map. :) Russia: Army St Pete Army Warsaw Austria Disband F ADR France: Retreat from Belgium to Burgundy Disband Tun The situation is now: Unit positions: A F Austria: Ser,Tri England: Yor Nth,Nor,Lon France: Bur,mar lyo,eng,mid Germany: Kie,ruh Den,bel Italy: Rom,Tyr Tys,Ion Russia: Vie,Bud,Rum,Gal,STP,War Swe,Bar,Sev Turkey: Bul,Gre,Smy Con,Aeg Fall '02 of the game NICKEL (MNC number 1990Ird24) (Blind game, GM is waste@vtvm1.cc.vt.edu/David McCrumb) Not Received. Spring '02 of the game GROUND ZERO (BNC number not known) (GM is Harry.Protoolis@UK.Sun.COM/Harry Protoolis) Due April 23 Summer '01 of the game DEADLY DAGGERS (BNC number not known) (GM is demon@eve.wright.edu/Brett Kottman) Nothing happened. Publisher comments: Quote from Spock, "The Ultimate Computer", stardate 4729.4. I really, really, really, really need some more guest publishers and scribes. (One for each really would be nice.) Following is info about two hobby polls, one hobby convention, an article about a previous hobby convention, and another article about the original Diplomacy zine which is still being published over two and a half decades later. I am aware that many people will lose their e-mail access over the summer. There are two consequences of this. 1) I need more standbys including standby GMs. 2) I am calling for votes for the 1990 Runestone Poll before these people lose their access. This poll is VERY important. No matter what you vote for Electronic Protocol, your vote will show how many people play Diplomacy via e- mail. Send your votes to ebrosius@lucy.wellesley.edu. Anyone who has read two copies of my zine in the past year is elligible to vote. Just give him a number of 0-10 for this zine, 0-10 for any GMs that you have played under in this zine. Following is additional info if you wish to read it: Got the following from CompuServe: THE 1990 RUNESTONE POLL ZINE POLL You may rate any amateur Diplomacy-related zine that you've read enough of to rate fairly. This means you've seen (or would have seen if not for delays) *at least* two issues since August 1, 1989. Only North American zines are eligible, but anyone may vote. Rate each zine from 0 (the worst) to 10 (the best)---no fractions, please. Do not rate your own zine. Blanks are for zines I forgot to list. __ The Abyssinian Prince __ Electric Trains __ Not New York __ Against the Odds __ Electronic Protocol __ Ohio Acres __ Alpha & Omega __ Empire __ Ouinipique __ Angst United __ Entropy __ Passchendaele __ The Appalachian General __ Everything... __ Penguin Dip __ ark __ Excelsior __ Perelandra __ The Armchair Diplomat __ fast trax __ Perestroika __ The Assassin's Blade __ Fiat Bellum! __ Pilot Light __ Been There, Done That __ Fol Si Fie __ Pirate __ benzene __ The Gamer's Zine __ Politesse __ The Big Bop __ Get Them Dots Now! __ The Popular Flyer __ Blade Wars __ Gonzo Rails __ The Prince __ Boardgame Challenger __ Graustark __ The Prodigal Zine __ Boast __ Ground Zero __ Protocol __ The Boob Report __ Hagalil Hamaarvi __ Protozoan __ Bushwacker __ Hansard __ Punt Formation __ The Canadian Diplomat __ Heroes of Olympus __ Rebel __ Carolina Cmd & Cmntry __ The Home Office __ Retaliation __ Cathy's Ramblings __ House of Lords __ A Sharp Mind... __ Cheesecake __ Kathy's Korner __ So I Lied __ Clandestine Activities __ Known Game Opngs __ Son of Flip __ Comrades in Arms __ KGO Zn Drct (Carrier) __ Starwood __ The Continuing Crisis __ The Last Resort __ The Swiss Observer __ Costaguana __ Loose Caboose __ Ter-ran __ Countermeasures __ Mad Dog __ Thorazeen __ Dark Mirror __ Maniac's Paradise __ TRAX __ Dipadeedoodah! __ Massacre by Treachery __ Two Bars in C Sharp __ Diplomacy Digest __ The Megadiplomat __ Tyromania __ Diplomacy Today __ Megalomaniac __ Upstart __ Diplomacy Tribune __ The Messenger __ Vertigo __ Diplomacy World __ The Metadiplomat __ Victims Wanted __ Diplomag __ Moire __ War Fair __ Diplomatic Contraband __ Mondoj __ When the Lights... __ Dippy __ Mouse of Lords __ White House Mania __ Disease City __ Niccolo __ The Zine Register __ Down at the Mouth __ No Name Flyer __ Dyslexia __ Northern Flame ADVERTISEMENT To get copies of the main lists (zines, subzines, and GMs), check here __ and enclose 50 cents or two 25 cent U.S. stamps. To get the Poll publication, check here __ and enclose a donation of $4.00 or more. Last year's publication was 104 pages long. It contained main lists, articles, statistical analysis, and everything else you'd want to know! Thanks for your donations; they really help. SUBZINE POLL A subzine is a regular section of a zine which is (a) edited by someone other than the zine editor(s), or (b) edited by the zine editor(s), but devoted to a specific hobby service. Any subzine of a North American zine is eligible. The other instructions are the same as those for the Zine Poll. __ Acropolis __ Notes from the Bunker __ Asterion __ Obfuscate __ The Blind Wars __ OPERABLE __ Buckeye Rail Gazette __ Poll Talk __ CDO News __ Reginald Maudlin... __ The Eccentric Diplomat __ Ring Finger in Rear __ Extremism in Defense... __ Seriously Folks __ The First Negotiator __ Shut Up Jack!!! __ Foot in Mouth __ Standard Deviation __ In the Garden __ Subwithnoname __ High Inertia __ Tennessee Rails __ Horsin' Around __ Top Knife __ Karmel's Panorama __ Variance __ Magus __ War Correspondant __ McKee Raves __ Water on the Knee __ The Melnibone Herald __ The Whipping Post __ Nash Rants __ You Knew the Risks __ The New Utopia GM POLL You may rate any GM under whom you played a postal or e-mail game of regular or variant Diplomacy since August 1,1989 for long enough to assess his or her competence. Only North American GMs are eligible, but anyone may vote. All GMs in Electronic Protocol are considered North American GMs. List GMs alphabetically by name (not zine). Rate each GM from 0 (the worst) to 10 (the best)---no fractions, please. GMs may not rate themselves. __ __________________ __ __________________ __ __________________ __ __________________ __ __________________ __ __________________ __ __________________ __ __________________ __ __________________ Send this ballot to Eric Brosius, 41 Hayward St., Milford, MA 01757 or to ebrosius@lucy.wellesley.edu You have until June 30, 1990 to vote, but please vote early. Indicate one way in which you participate in the North American Diplomacy hobby (sub to zine XXX, play in game 1989YY, etc.): _____________________________________________________________ Enter your name _____________________________________________ Check here __ if you do not want your name on the list of voters. RUNESTONE POLL CONTEST Guess the Zine Poll winner---this year's prize is a travel Diplomacy board with magnetic pieces. To be eligible you must vote in the Poll and correctly guess the winning zine; I will pick the contest winner at random from the set of eligible entrants. The names of the winner and any other eligible entrants will be published in the Poll publication. To enter, type your address:________________________________________ ________________________________________ The zine you think will win:________________________________________ Received the following from waste@vtvm1.cc.vt.edu/David McCrumb: ************************************************************************ Now to mention a less important voting event. (I can't win, so how important can it be?) You can send votes via postal mail to Ron Cameron or via e-mail to me. Don't sent votes for the Runestone Poll to me, only the Hobby Awards poll can go to me! ************************************************************************ 1990 HOBBY AWARDS BALLOT Name: Hobby Role: Instructions: Vote for one choice only in each category. The above ID portion MUST be completed. Receipt deadline is 11 June 1990! 1990 DON MILLER AWARD for service to the hobby: Fred Davis - for 18 years of BUSHWACKER & work with Mensa Sig & Variant Bank Steve Heinowski - for work with the Boardman Number Service Melinda Ann Holley - GMing numerous games in the hobby, her zine REBEL & work with EVERYTHING Tom Nash - publishing ZINE REGISTER & BEEN THERE, DONE THAT Larry Peery - DIPCON `89 & zine DIPLOMCY WORLD & hobby census work 1990 JOHN KONING AWARD for outstanding play of Diplomacy Edi Birsan - 1989 DIPCON Champion (overall) Gary Behnen - play by mail play in 1989 Hohn Cho - 1989 DIPCON Champion (Diplomacy Tournament) Steve Cooley - numerous FTF Championships, excellent play in DIPLOMACY WORLD Demo game Fred Hyatt - 1989 CANCON Champion 1990 MELINDA ANN HOLLEY AWARD for quantity participation in the hobby Kathy Caruso - zine KATHY'S KORNER Linda Courtemanche - subzine HIGH INERTIA Jim Diehl - Multitude of games; no one has ever met him in person Melinda Holley - zine REBEL and multitude of games played and GMed Cathy Ozog - overseas participation & zine CATHY'S RAMBLINGS 1990 ROD WALKER AWARD for literary excellence Larry Botimer - article "Unabashed Botimer 'Playing Italy'" in KATHY'S KORNER #115 Francois Cuerrier - article "Lowballing" in PASSCHENDAELE #97 Jack Garrett - article "New Game Start" in DARK MIRROR #6 Greg Maynard - article "Or: Why My Name Is Now Mud" in THE LAST RESORT Greg & Linda Maynard - article "Survival As A Diplomat's Wife" in PENGUIN DIP #30 Please vote early. Deadline of 11 June will come early. Publishers are encouraged (begged) to reprint this ballot in their very next issues. Should anyone wish to receive a copy of the articles nominated for the Walker Award, s end postage and your request to RON CAMERON, 7821 Bouma, LaPalma, CA 90623 or FRED DAVIS, 3210-K Wheaton Way, Ellicott City, MD 21043. Winners will receive perpetual plaques, nicely engraved. This COSTS MONEY, so please accompany your vote with a dollar donation. The committee this year was to be indeed complimented. It was no easy task to pick a final ballot as the MILLER AWARD category alone had, counting muliple nominations, 20 nominees. Two Canadians were asked to serve on the committee as well as two women, all for various reasons declined. However, the 1990 committee needs no introduction as their feats and contributions in and to the hobby are too well known. A good mix of publishers and excellent players. Heartfelt thanks to each: GARRY BEHNEN, MARK BERCH, FRED DAVIS, DAVID McCRUMB, TIM MOORE, MARK PETERS. It will be fun to see which of the finest are awarded their due at DIPCON in Chapel Hill. Hope to see you there!!! Send all ballots to RON CAMERON at the above address. Ron Cameron, Hobby Awards Coordinator. Following was received directly from the Can Con organizer, scribed by jimp@rtp.dg.com/Jim Pendergraft Yar matie. Ha' ya been pitched too many times in any number of the Sea of Despair games that are the rage? Have ya got an itchin' to repay ol' whats-hiz-name for that stab in your last postal match? Or, are you in need of that vacation get-a-way to Toronto that you had tentatively marked down on your calendar because you missed last year's CAN-CON? Well, don't despair, we're back. This here flyer, so generously included by the publisher of the zine you are now reading, is the opening volley to attract those well- heeled, or those who are flat-footed to consider coming to the Canadian (now get this) INTERNATIONAL Diplomacy Championships/Convention. Five Townhouses have been secured again this year, accomodating 30 people of which I know one townhouse has been reserved for returnees from last year. So that leaves 24 more spaces/rooms to go. First come, first served. Now for the vital information. ============================================================================ CAN-CON '90 PREREGISTRATION FORM Name: Address: City, Province/State: Postal Code/Zip, (Country): Preregistration fee for the weekend convention is $20/person. On campus, townhouse accomodation for Friday and Saturday nights is $28/night/person. Last year we had access to the cafeteria for breakfast and the rest of the time we were on our own. Would you be interested in the same set-up? The townhouses are equipped with kitchens. ============================================================================ Now for the important information. CAN-CON '90 is being held at U of T Scarborough Campus, Toronto, again this year. Those wanting transportation access info just say so with your registration. CAN-CON '90 is being held the evening of August 3rd, all day August 4th, and 'till 1300 hrs, Sunday, August 5th. Schedule of events on following flyer. Contact person and to whom cheques should be made out - Douglas Acheson Unit 5, Suite 320 320 Yonge St. Barrie, Ontario L4N 4C8 Canada Both of the following articles are from Diplomacy World #39 and were scribed by as365156@yuorion.bitnet code named Video Dienstag: PUDGECON REVISITED by Kathy Byrne [Many local Cons are held throughout the U.S. each year. Among the best-known is one in "Kansas", of all places: PudgeCon (After the hobby nickname of its host). Herewith is a report on what one of these affairs can be like!] Once a year there is a pilgrimage to Wichita. People come from all over the country to enjoy a weekend of fun and gaming at Bob Olsen's house. This year (1984) was no exception and once again I found myself unable to resist temptation. I had to be crazy to go from New York to Kansas just to see some Diplomacy players, but the strange force that compelled me to go also pulled in players from Colorado, California, Pennsylvania, Illinois, Wisconsin, Ohio, Oklahoma, Michigan, and even Maryland. Yes, Diplomacy players are strange. They will travel thousands of miles just to play a game -- or is there more to it than that? Three years ago Woody (Steve Arnawoodian) and I decided that if Bob would not come to any Cons and meet the hobby, then the hobby would go to Bob. We were determined to make a social butterfly out of one very shy person. I don't believe he was too thrilled with the idea at first, but you should see him now. Bob was prepared for the invasion this year -- well, almost. He wasn't ready for 4 female Dip players at once. Being the gentleman that he is, Bob always gives his bed to the female, but this year that was a major problem since he has only one bed! Of course, being an old lady has its advantages: at least *I* didn't have to sleep on the floor! When I arrived there was a game of Diplomacy in progress; but most of the weekend, Diplomacy seemed to be secondary. The real fun at these "home" cons is the socializing and friendships that you make. One brave soul, James Wall, actually brought his grandmother over to meet everyone. Mark Frueh, Ty Hare and I immediately started a conversation with her, and being the great diplomats that we are, she actually believed that James was in "good hands". Even so, *we* had the *easy* job -- poor Bob had to keep John Michalski from making a pass at her, keep Russ Rusnak from saying anything out of line, and make sure that Woody stayed in the closet. Trivial Pursuit has become a good late night game to entertain Dippers of late. We play partners, so that 10 of us can play at once. You should have seen the teams ... what pairing! John Michalski and I were great -- hey, we won, even though I had a handicap!! I loved listening to Dewood Bowen, who would confer with his partner (Dan Stafford) only to get snoring sounds in response. Nancy Irwin, a very bright individual, got stuck with Woody, which explains why she lost. Julie and Dick Martin were the big competition, and Bob was at a loss for a partner as Russ was sound asleep. Trying to find a decent place to eat in Wichita, the booming metropolis of the midwest is always a challenge. Especially if you want Italian food. The worst part was that the place we wanted to go had a dress code; and needless to say, we all forgot our tuxes. So I was given the job of talking our way into the restaurant. Did you ever try to talk the manager of a restaurant into letting 20 of the most decrepit-looking people into one of the finer restaurants in Kansas? I decided to play on the fact that I was from out of town. The minute I said that, he said, "I never would've guessed from your accent!" (Cute!) Well, we did get in, and all I can say is: Thank God I live in New York, where we have *real* Italian restaurants. As you can see, everyone had a good time. Diplomacy might not have been the high point of the weekend, but it was the one thing that drew all of us to Kansas. It gave us an excuse to see each other again, and to meet new friends. Who says that Diplomacy doesn't have a way of bringing people together? This hobby has a lot of things to offer -- even a free place to stay in Kansas! [Assuming that one *wants* to go to Kansas in the first place. Has anyone suggested to Pudge that he relocate? Kathy -- whom I understand is a charter member of the Worshipful Order of the Daughters of the Mailed Fist -- is surely able to suggest a few dire alternatives if Bob refuses to live in some civilized locality ... can't you, Kathy? [Well, be that as it may, Kathy Byrne is surely well-known to most of our readers as one of the best players in today's postal circles, the editor of Kathy's Korner, and now General Editor of D.W. She is also hostess to a good number of "local" cons herself ... the frequent and popular ByrneCons at her home in Flushing NY. When asked for technical advice on how to hold such things, Kathy dutifully repeats John Caruso's instructions: "First you buy the beer ... "] MILESTONES #3 THE 500 ISSUES OF GRAUSTARK by Kathy Byrne & Rod Walker [The "Milestones" series (we finally have a name for it) covers active zines which reach significant events in their publishing histories, as well as other major achievements and significant revivals. We will, however, avoid covering a zine at too-frequent intervals, in order to avoid repeating ourselves. Ordinarily, we won't cover a given zine more than once in any 2-3 years.] On 3 November 1984 the 500th issue of GRAUSTARK was in the mail. As publishers ourselves, we can only be amazed that John Boardman has managed to publish non-stop since May 1963 ... over 21 years of having to meet deadlines. His reason for doing it is quite simple: he enjoys it. John's first contact with the game of Diplomacy was in 1962 while he was shopping in Macy's. After buying the game and reading the rules, John became convinced that it could be adapted for play by mail. He proposed doing just that in his sf fanzine, KNOWABLE, and with his first game and GRAUSTARK came the birth of our present PBM hobby. GRAUSTARK began as a 2-week publication, but this increased to 3 weeks when slower mail service made that a hardship for his players. At one point, he considered going to 4 weeks, but a poll of his players showed that they wanted to continue with good quick 3-week deadlines. John is a firm believer in accommodating his players. GRAUSTARK is named for the fictional Balkan nation which is the setting of 5 novels by George Barr McCutcheon, written during 1901- 1924. This began a tradition of using such names for Dipzines, although it is not much observed these days. In the early days of the hobby, everybody got GRAU because it was the "hobby central" -- full of news, game stats, final game results, and all, along with witty press (much of it by John himself), a hyperactive letter column, and many other features of interest. The wit and flair of the zine were classic -- even (dare I say it?) Golden Age. GRAUSTARK continues to offer more than well-run Diplomacy games (although it certainly has those). John is a very interesting man with a flair for creative writing. He especially enjoys writing book reviews, while his readers provide reviews of games. There is still that letter column, still with the politics -- John's views often differ from those of the average American. John tells us that he loves the hobby because it is a great way to keep in touch with people. To our surprise (and yours, too, no doubt), he says that he doesn't play postally because he has a horrible time meeting the deadlines -- this from a man with the timeliest zine in the hobby! Kathy notes, "I view John as one of the most interesting people it has ever been my pleasure to meet and I am lucky to have him as a friend. As a novice, I was in awe of him. The first time I talked with him, I was amazed that the man who had started PBM Dip and the Boardman Numbers would take time to speak with a "nobody". But even with his vast knowledge and authoritative way, he is just like the rest of us. People are just fascinated by him, especially me." GRAUSTARK #500 consisted of 42 pages, much of which consisted of long political articles (hobby and national), book reviews, fiction, letters, and games ... plus one of John's now-rare cartoon-montage covers. GRAUSTARK is available from John Boardman, 234 E. 19th St., Brooklyn NY 11226. Subscriptions for non-players are 9 for $5, and a sample is 37 cents. Games are still (at last report) open -- game fee $15 (which includes a sub for the life of the game). We all hope GRAU is still around for yet another 500 issues! It is pleasant organizing this zine, keep that mail coming! Eric Klien Up