Diplomacy Zine -- EP #183 Chapter Six From: Eric_S_Klien@cup.portal.com Date: Wed, 11 Jul 1990 22:47:53 +0000 Issue #183 of ELECTRONIC PROTOCOL: ************************************************************************ Later on, Walter Koenig wandered over. "Hi, what are you doing?" "I'm cutting my script down." "Anything of mine?" he asked -- was that desperation edging in his voice? I couldn't resist. "All of it", I said. He uttered a strangled scream. ************************************************************************ Chapter One contains: BLITZKRIEG, GETTYSBURG, RED STORM RISING, and PASSCHENDAELE And is published by daybell@aludra.usc.edu/Donald Daybell Chapter Two contains: DRAGONSLAYER, JACAL, MANHATTAN, VERSAILLES, DRESDEN, and KHAN And is published by tedward@cs.cornell.edu/Ted Fischer Chapter Three contains: MULHOUSE, DAWN PATROL, SNIKKEL-2, BERLIN, SNIKKEL-1, EL ALAMEIN, SQUALANE, UNGAWE, CAPTAIN CAVEMAN And is published by cwekx@htikub5.bitnet/Constantijn Wekx Chapter Four contains: FIRE WHEN READY, BIG WILLIE, NICKEL, and OZARK And is published by dm8sstaf@miamiu.bitnet/Douglas M. MacFarlane Chapter Five contains: ARCHANGEL, BORDEL, ERIS, MASADA, and YALTA And is published by uunet!bnrgate!bmers1!dgibbs/David Gibbs ----------- Chapter Six ----------- No games in this issue. Publisher comments: Quote from p. 162 of The Trouble With Tribbles by David Gerrold. The following was scribed by dmb@crayamid.cray.com (Dave Bowen) Taken from Diplomacy World #58: FREDRICK THE GREAT'S REVIVAL, OR HOW TO SURVIVE WITH A FLAT-OUT ATTACKED GERMANY By Christophe Barot I. GERMAN SITUATION A quick glance at recent statistics and another one at the board's geography let appear two particularly endangered states, Austria and Germany (Russia is another one, but her situation is "special", and Italy has mainly long-term trouble). Austria's case has been the subject of numerous articles, at least in France, and an avid reader should by now have ideas to cope with it...it is simple, if not easy, but Germany is rather a more delicate matter. Germany is often an "all or nothing" proposal, so what can be done if you are blessed with an "attacked right from the start" Germany? I do not have complete statistics, but it appears to me that in recent trends, E/F alliances are at least as numerous as E/G (I wonder why, but it is a fact) or G/F (the rarest of all). More than often, an E/F alliance is lethal for Germany, who is usually dispatched, then, around 1905 at best. A recent fashion makes Italy move to Tyrolia...for attacking Munich, usually with French support. The usual Italian move (Tyrolia as part of an Austrian attack), making the French southern flank safe, breaking the Southern balance, and helping Russia, is usually bad for Germany. This variation is terrible for her! Russian or even by beginners or originals) Austrian attacks right out from the start are rare enough, but happen anyway. So... II. PREVENT IT TO HAPPEN A lot of trouble can be avoided by timely and active negotiation. Germany, less than any country, can not wait till the end of 1901 to see what's happening...or it could happen to her. A first pre-Spring 1901 approach is absolutely necessary: - With Austria: the first objective is to prevent a nonsense clash! You and her are natural allies, and you'd better ensure that Austria knows about it. The second step is to ensure that Austria knows enough of the game to defend herself efficiently, which will spare you an emergency and premature Southern intervention. If you can get her to send an A GAL, at least defensively, you should have at least a few years of "peaceful coexistence" with Russia. Creating the famous (infamous, from a French point of view) Triplice alliance (G/A/I) is good for your interests,...if you can probe Italy's sincerity. The last step could be a middle-game help against Russia, but it's less likely and you could never need it. But the first two steps should be easy! - With Russia: The key here is F KIE-DEN. Always play it, and always let Russia know it. This is your Russian life- insurance! (and, in some way, Russia's). Russia must know that anything nasty (such as A WAR-GAL or -SIL) will deprive her from Sweden. You can add a WAR-GAL first turn prohibition "which will prevent some Russian pincers around Germany", and even ask for the presence ("I can understand your greediness about our Sweden if you have the same one about your Norway") - which will usually force England to support her Norway move, makes her paranoid about Russia, and weakens Russia's southern flank - or absence ("I don't want to feel threatened by too strong a Russian presence North") - which weakens Russia in Scandinavia - of A STP. Sweden is worth it! It's the only center Russia can make sure of (Rumania depends on an often hostile Turkish play and an unsure Austrian...there will be a Balkan conflict!) and it depends only on your goodwill. Therefore, for your own sake, you should let Russia have it each time she complies with your demands, or the trick will never work twice. It's binary: "you do=you get; you don't=you don't get." It usually works, and you not only get peace with Russia in the first years, but also a help against an aggressive England as well! - With Italy: Speak him out the frequent pro France/Russia stuff! "He can't win such games!" (he can, indeed, but hardly). An attack on Munich is only for France's profit, an attack on Austria for Turkey's (if this makes him negotiate with Russia an attack of Turkey instead of Austria, so good!), his two worst long-term enemies (who's going to send fleets in the Mediterranean, uh?). Propose him an alliance against France in...let's say 1902 or 1903, just the time for France to turn against England and to show her back. Italy has the Stalemate to pass (Gibralter), and three centers to win (MAR, SPA, POR), plus any bonuses in England, and you're the only one willing to help her (the reasons for France and England not to like this scenario are obvious). "While A/T will be deadlocked, and Austria under your common watch". He should buy it! If you feel he doesn't, get into Tyrolia to stand him off! With F Den, you shouldn't get a Russian attack, and any French Army in Burgundy can't go further alone (while England should be busy conquering Norway with two units) - With the western powers: basically the same proposals can be made: an Alliance against the other other one, disclaim short-term interest into Belgium, "It should go into the German center-net in the long run, but an ally can get it temporarily", and a lion's share for the ally in the carving of the "villain". Germany will have more arguments for an English negotiator, for there is the Russian problem as well, and "Who's next in a Franco-Russian alliance when Germany is disposed of?" - With Turkey: It basically depends on German-Russian relationship, but usually sending Turkey towards Sevastopol initially (instead of Mediterranean or Austria) can't do any harm. III. ALL HAS FAILED! I'M DOOMED! WHAT TO DO? Usually only a point has failed, and you are not doomed, but to get out of it is the subject! First, keep cool: If some of the (necessarily) bad guys are after you, there will be others deeply annoyed by your potential disappearance! - Make them help you! - Negotiate with your aggressor(s) to make him change his target. - Resist selectively to imbalance the game! If you are attacked by only one country, you should easily cope with it. If Russia is in StP, England can at worst deprive you from Holland (if you don't have two units contiguous) by not getting one build for herself (France is supposed hostile to England or wants Belgium for herself). You can easily make sure of Munich in front of France or Italy alone. A Russian attack in Silesia is a nuisance, but unlikely and not getting Sweden (and probably Rumania as well) and likely early trouble in Black Sea and/or Scandinavian area should give him other concerns compensating even a wrong guess! Against three enemies, you're probably doomed and should think about your conducting of negotiations, but the "2 enemies advice" principles apply as well! The real problem comes with two enemies. Their alliance must be both broken and countered! The most frequent pattern is E/F vs you! Against England, you have Russia. Russia should have a strong Northern position, and a friendly (yours) holding of DEN/BAL area is vital for her Scandinavian interests. He'll usually be willing to help militarily and diplomatically (to turn France versus England...this configuration allows such good stabs). If you have let the Tsar into Sweden, English progress will be slow anyhow, and this is another argument to serve to the King: he holds the bad side of the French/English alliance. Against France, you have Italy, and likely Russia. You can even get Austrian help in the mid-game (She is far too busy elsewhere in the opening). Italy is France's next victim "For France can't attack England while attacking me, and so where is she going to send her fleets, uh? to Munich?; and does Italy want a French attack on Venice...from the North? Austria is usually friendly could try to make the French attack devy on her Italian neighbor. Do Austria/Russia/Italy (/Turkey?) want the French past the stalemate line, what about Vienna/Warsaw. A small buffer-Germany is a safe neighbor, better than a French menace who'll advance...towards them, and won't turn back! And who could hold Munich better and earlier than Germany? better a live buffer/satellite than a dead Germany. Then you've a choice to make: which aggressor are you to favor: England or France, for you don't have the means to resist both. The answer depends upon a bunch of parameters, among which: - Their personalities (especially reliability -stabbers by interest or by pleasure- and consistency) - The attitude of other players towards you: which ones are willing to help will do a great deal to determine where you can resist (i.e. to whom) and to whom you have to "repay a moral debt" (if you have to disappear, help your former allies rather than your former enemies) - The general situation, and where you can resist best. This should determine the trend of your negotiations with E/F, and your strategy. From now on, you're in a race between your own disappearance and the general imbalance of the game, which you are going to accentuate up to the point where you'll be absolutely needed to redress it (and then saved). All this parameters are not easy to fit together, but this is the fun of the game! Let's say Russia is powerful and friendly. You'll resist to England and try for an understanding with France. If Italy is friendly too, you can even afford to resist to both of them, but try for the understanding. Russia and you will be happy to help her against Britain. Munich, especially with A (RUS) Silesia is an unlikely target. France will get Belgium, plus Edinburgh, Liverpool...Italy is ready for a truce if France turns against England...which happens to be tied up and makes no progress; after, Germany will be a useful buffer between France and Russia...isn't it better than a too powerful Russia. If Italy is unfriendly and Russia unwilling to help against France, then why not letting France into Munich, on a temporary basis. All other centers are for England's taking, however, unless England is France's puppet (and in this case, let everybody know about it!). You'll resist England and he'll cross the stalemate line and strike Italy from all sides, and even perhaps Austria (depending on her attitude)...it's terrible for Austria, too, but you have to save yourself first! Then turn towards England and announce her your policy! England will never get Scandinavia. Belgium and even your own centers will be hard and long to take. Berlin will end up Russian, Munich French, and even the British isles will be highly vulnerable to a French stab during all the process. England has no chance of winning the game, and even small chance of ending it! Does she want to change her policy? You don't want a war with her, but making the first peace step - stopping attacking you - is up to her! Then wait to see what happens! If Russia is weak and hostile/indifferent, then have her crushed (it'll please Austria/Turkey and annoy Italy usually...watch the coherence with your other relationship), resist at Munich if you can, and help the British getting Scandinavia, whatever she does to Kiel and Holland (negotiate at least for slowing the tempo there, however)! Where are the French fleets? Against Italy? Does France really want a two front naval war with Italy and such a powerful England? With Russia down, you're her only hope, her only potential ally! Or does she prefer a three-way alliance against her? If she's already turned against England, the latter will be happy to notice it...and perhaps Italy to stab France and getting out with the goods...there is so little to gain East with a crushed Russia; and however E/F alliance is then ready to break out! If Russia is powerful but unfriendly, or weak but friendly, it's up to you to judge. There is no "ready-made answer for all situations" but you got the point. It usually pays in the long run to favor one's allies interests, but is not always possible. The same principles apply to any other alliances. A French/Russian alliance is a natural and expected one, but you're not doomed then! You can take them with England's help and usually get the upper hand. France has Italy and Russia Austria/Turkey to care for. All you have to do is resist first against the weaker. Usually, only Munich is seriously threatened...defend the rest and get some Austrian or Italian help to take it back! Advertise the stronger partner's successes, and in no time you should see you aggressors in poorer shape than yours, and your biggest problem being your English ally's size! If you can have only one of them getting reduced and the other to realign with you, you're doing well! An English-Russian alliance is rare. One of them is usually the "sucker" in the pair (sorry, we Frenchmen call this a "Turkey"-of-the-joke, which sounds a lot better), the one who doesn't get Scandinavia. But it's a deadly one. Get Turkey/ Austria to attack Russia; for once, try to prevent Italy to attack France...for now at least, and have France attacking England flat out! You can't conceivably win that game (You're not getting England nor Scandinavia), but they're getting into big trouble and only one of them is going to survive in Scandinavia! Italy plus one of your three "dangerous neighbors" is little more than an additional nuisance, but a big one! Don't let her into Munich, and, if you can't, never neglect covering Berlin and Kiel. Have the Austrian or the Turk, depending on their shape, attacking her at the same time. Once out, she won't get back! Austria is crazy to join in, except in mid-game. She is prone to be crushed in other places awhile! If she isn't, yell that "Southerners are crossing the stalemate", help or truce elsewhere should not be long to come. Of course, not of this is going to give you victory by itself, not even is it a foolproof life-insurance recipe, but it should greatly improve your Germany's survival rate. Germany is hard to play, but if things go awry, at least, you're insured to have fun, even with a handful of centers! With her strategic position, Germany is THE Kingmaker, and you should play this trump card whenever possible! Scribed by AS365156@Orion.YorkU.CA code named Video Dienstag: Taken from Fol Si Fie #146: Fighting The Winner Whenever one power has a clear advantage over a bunch of others -- enough to win handily if everyone doesn't band together to stop him -- the need to oppose him is clear if you have a "Calhamerian" philosophy at all (only wins and draws are meaningful: allowing anyone else to win is a loss, whatever the other circumstances). By this point, though, the chances of actually presenting a united front against the leader are very slim. Not all of your fellow players *are* Calhamerian and won't put the same kind of priority on stopping the winner. Others aren't capable of handling their units properly, even with advice; even with the best will in the world, their defenses eventually crumble. Let's face it, a guy with 12 centers and no close opposition among five other survivors ends up winning 90% of the time ... as long as his gains were the result of true ability in the first place. To stop such a fellow, then, you really have to start earlier, and that means a game-long strategy of sabotaging the progress of the strongest player on the board (next to yourself). If you're satisfied with an eventual draw, and the strongest player is also your best ally, you may transfer your attentions to the next player in line; but remember that if your ally is as strong as you estimate, he may be doing a skillful job of wool-pulling over * your* eyes! Note that "strongest" does not necessarily means "most centers"; Russia may well be the *weakest* power in 1901. The strongest player is the one with the most potential. Early in the game that's the guy you think is the best player. Center disparity becomes more and more important as the game progresses. This may not look easy. Often the other guy is at the other end of the board. Or perhaps he's your temporary (but temporarily necessary) ally. Only rarely would you be smart to come to blows with a neighbour of superior strength anyhow. The battle you must fight is on the diplomatic front, and usually so subtly that nobody realizes what you're up to. A forthright statement that you oppose a certain player always seems to get back to him somehow. Then, the very best you can hope from him is a cautious neutrality, and the other players have no reason to respect your "unfounded" attitude either. Against some players this hardly matters, but here we're talking about the strongest guy on the board. Even a diplomatic counterattack from him would be a sever blow to any progress you hope to achieve yourself. Also, such a statement will become embarrassing if the fellow falls back to an average position and another strongman takes his place. You don't want the reputation of being too fickle about your enemies, any more than about your allies ... every player will wonder whether they will be next on your hate list. (They will be, if they become strong enough ... but that philosophy is never for public consumption.) Obviously, this is the strategy of the "balance of power" player, but these people usually start off too late and come on too strong. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of curse, and a diplomatic nudge can put the brakes to a 7-center power a lot more easily than after he's rolled up beyond 12 centers without opposition. The tactics you use to cut your enemy down depend on you. From: John O'Regan/J_OREGAN%CSVAX1@IRUCCVAX.UCC.IE: Recently someone called me from one of the "Out on the Floor Offices", an ethereal place rumored to exist only in hyperspace, populated by mysterious beings called Users. She was quite frantic. She was having trouble running a program through the computer, and her message was clear enough, although rather ill-conceived: "MY FILES ARE FULL!" I furrowed my brow, lit a smoke, and explained to her, "Really now, Miss Butterman, I don't have time for this." I slowly exhaled the menthol vapors as I stopped her process, crushing any hopes she may have had of ever again seeing that document she had spent three hours slaving over. "I was typing this REALLY important letter, and it HAS to be ready in an hour... there's all this stuff on my screen that I didn't type... it says something about an error, should I read it to you?" "No point. Just press return." "Oh my, it wants my username. Can I restart that where I left off?" "Not a chance." I drew another puff and tossed the phone aside. It occurred to me that if I had to hear one more of those whining complaint sessions, heads were going to roll. Where do you people GET this stuff? I'm going to tell you what's really going on here. Now LISTEN UP. I'm not going over this a second time: Computer The black box that does your work for you. That's all you need to know. Response Time Usually measured in nanoseconds; sometimes measured in calendar months. The general rule is: Shut up your complaining about response time. Hardware See "Computer." Again, not your concern. Software If we want you to know, we'll tell you about it, otherwise, leave us alone. Network Don't worry about it, we'll take care of it. Use it to send mail among your half-wit selves, and don't think we won't read it all. What do you think we do all day? By the way , Butterman... shame about your mother's Pancreas. Data The general rule is: Don't use any data files and if you find any, delete them before I find out about them. In fact, just stay off the computer. (See "Response Time") System Crash Don't ever call the system manager to tell him you think the computer is down. Don't call him to ask him when it will be up again. The more you bother him, the longer it takes. Downtime Like I said, don't ask Uptime Be thankful for it, use it wisely, and get out of my face Overtime Don't be ridiculous. Vacation A time during which I don't have to put up with your sniveling. Don't try calling. There's no point. Computer Room Keep out, you're not invited. Don't knock on the door -- don't even think about it. I broke the phone last time one of you jerks called me, and I'm not about to replace it. And keep your greasy fingers off the windows. My Office The name says it all... it's mine; stay out. Your Problems The name says it all... Deadlines The general rule is: Deadlines are not acknowledged by me; they're not my responsibility. Go tell someone who cares. Maintenance a) A valid reason for shutting down the system at any time. b) Much more important than anything any of you bozos do. c) Anything I choose to call "maintenance" is maintenance. Software Upgrades Far too complex for you to comprehend. If I tell you I'm upgrading the system, just be quietly thankful. It's for your own good, even if it does mean extensive downtime during peak hours. Electronic Mail I delete it before it's read, so don't bother sending any to me. Defaults We like them just like they are; we chose them for a reason. Don't mess with them; consider them mandatory. Error Messages I'm not interested. I'm going to kill your process anyway, so keep them to yourself. Killing your Process a) Don't ever ask why b) Beyond your control c) No warnings are given d) The highlight of my day e) If you call, it's going to happen. No exceptions. Passwords I reserve the right to change them without notice at any time. I choose them, and the more you bother me, the more degrading yours will be. (Example: BUTTERMAN: SNOTFACE) Users a) They slow down the computer b) They waste my time c) A general nuisance d) Worse than that, actually Software Modifications You don't know what you want -- we'll tell you what you want. It stays like it is. Period. Privileges I've got them, you don't need them. Enough said. Priority Mine is higher than yours, accept it. That's the reason my games run faster than your lousy accounting package. (See "Response Time") Terminals Before calling me with a terminal problem, consider this: a) Are you prepared to do without one for weeks? b) Do you REALLY want your process killed? c) Did you just trip over the cord again? d) Of course you did. Disk Space I set the quotas, you live with them. If you need more space, check "Data Files". Operator I hired him and I trained him. He does what I tell him to. Usually armed; always dangerous. Backups A good idea if I gave a shit, which of course I don't. Lunch The only time that calling my office won't result in the killing of your process. Data Security That's your problem. I'm certainly not going to lose any sleep over it. My files are locked up tight. I feel secure. Jiffy Length of time it takes me to resolve your problem by killing your process. Eternity Length of time it takes me to give a shit about any problem that can't be resolved by killing your process. Impossible a) It can't be done (as far as you know) b) I can't be bothered c) You're starting to annoy me Inevitable a) Couldn't have been avoided b) Not my fault (as far as you know) c) The result of annoying me Menus If it's not on the menu, don't ask for it. It's not available. If it is on the menu, it's probably of no use or it doesn't work. We're working on it (See "Eternity"). Utilities I find them quite useful, you'll find them quite inaccessible. Besides, they're not on your menu, are they. What did I tell you about that? Nuisance You. Of course, I reserve the right to add, change, or remove anything from the above list. I'm not asking you to accept these matters without question, I'm telling you. Now that we all know where we stand, I'm sure there'll be no future problems. If you have any questions or comments please feel free to keep them to yourself. If you feel the need for more information, I highly recommend that you ask someone else Sincerely, The System Manager P.S. The new disk quota of 30 blocks per user became effective yesterday. Anyone caught exceeding the quota will lose their accounts (this means you, Butterman!) -- Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL your jokes (jokes ONLY) to funny@looking.ON.CA Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply. Remember: Always give your jokes a descriptive "Subject:" line. Not "joke." Eric Klien Up