Diplomacy: MONTREUIL-SUR-MER, Spring '01 From: rapp@freezer.it.udel.edu (Brian Rapp) Date: Mon, 25 Jun 1990 19:44:03 +0000 ********************************** * MONTREUIL-SUR-MER, Spring 1901 * ********************************** ((( Headlines ))) AUSTRIA INVADED! Russians in Galicia! Italians in Trieste! English navy controls the frigid northern waters... French armed forces charge towards Iberia! Spain has already fallen! German marine units occupy Denmark! Italian armies sneak into Trieste, catching Austria off guard! Russian fleet lands in Rumania! Turks conquer Bulgaria! ((( Moves ))) ----- AUSTRIA --------------------- F Trieste - Albania A Budapest - Serbia A Vienna - Budapest ----------------------------------- ----- ENGLAND --------------------- F Edinburgh - Norwegian Sea F London - North Sea A Liverpool - Edinburgh ----------------------------------- ----- FRANCE ---------------------- F Brest -> Mid Atlantic Ocean A Marseilles -> Spain A Paris -> Gascony ----------------------------------- ----- GERMANY --------------------- F Kiel -> Denmark A Berlin -> Kiel A Munich -> Ruhr ----------------------------------- ----- ITALY ----------------------- F Naples - Ionian Sea A Venice - Trieste A Rome - Venice ----------------------------------- ----- RUSSIA ---------------------- F St. Pete (s.c.) - Gulf of Bothnia A Warsaw - Galicia A Moscow - Ukraine F Sevastopol - Rumania ----------------------------------- ----- TURKEY ---------------------- A Constantinople - Bulgaria A Smyrna - Ankara F Ankara - Constantinople ----------------------------------- ((( Unit Positions ))) Austria -- F: ALB A: BUD, SER England -- F: NTS, NWS A: EDI France --- F: MAO A: GAS, SPA Germany -- F: DEN A: KIE, RUH Italy ---- F: ION A: TRI, VEN Russia --- F: GOB, RUM A: GAL, UKR Turkey --- F: CON A: BUL, ANK ((( PRESS ))) *****Northern Europe's Little Powers Wage Economic War************************* Luxembourg (UPI)--At a meeting of LiCONE (Little Countries Of Northern Europe), the member nations unanimously pledged cooperation in waging economic war against the Great Powers. "Germany may have the Blitzkrieg, but we have the Breakfast!" So said Foreign Minister of Denmark, announcing an embargo on pastry. Norway immediately supported this action, noting that although they had no standing army, they could at least cut off exports of dried cod and Gudbransdalost. (It was unclear whether anybody cared.) Belgium then announced an increase in the price of waffles, which England took to be a threat to afternoon tea, and Sweden, having cornered the world flatbread market, pledged supporting actions. Spain and Portugal, although not members of LiCONE, sent telegrams of encouragement, and may be planning actions of their own, triggering a sharp increase in the price of olive oil and sherry futures on the London stock exchange. Perhaps the most serious threat was made by Holland. The Dutch are starting to subsidize exports of Heineken to the United States, directly undercutting Germany's main industry. Perhaps the least serious threat was made by Finland, which is cutting off sales of ceremonial reindeer horn to Russia. It is not known what actions England, France, Germany, and Russia will take, but none of the Foreign Ministers contacted were willing to rule out military force. ******************************************************************************* Excerpted from the "International Observer", 13 February 1901. GDANSK [Diplomacy Press International] - Diplomatic representatives of Germany and Russia concluded their winter conference with an unusual declaration. The actual text of the agreement is unavailable at this time, but observers note that its intent proceeds as follows: Military forces of neither nation will attack or support an attack upon the other. In the event either nation abrogates the agreement, the other will respond with all force, even to the point of withdrawing troops from other active fronts. Tsar Tuthechiv, when reached in Sevastopol for comment, would only say "The German mind is a very difficult one for us to understand or negotiate with. Having failed to achieve any concrete cooperation between the forces of our great nations, we take the only option available to us." Kaiser Ludwig was too occupied with the pastry and beer crises to comment at length on the agreement, but did say that "with Rasputin in the Winter Palace, you never know WHAT those Russkies are up to." Interpretations of this agreement are widely varied. Our own correspondent reached Hans-Jurgen Offenwaschen, professor of International Relations at the Geneva Politische Universitaet, who noted "this agreement, which we have taken to calling the 'Poison Pill Pact', represents a most interesting trend in international relations. Rather than trust, this is based on MADness." ******* DEUTSCHLAND DOUGHBOYS DELUGED WITH DANISH ***************************** Copenhagen, April 1, 1901 (AP) -- It's only been a week since Germany invaded Denmark, but the sailors and marines of the German 1st Fleet are already sick of Danish pastry. "The day we arrived," explained Ensign Fritz Deutsch, "we marched to the Royal Palace and were pelted with pastry thrown by residents from upper-story windows. No eggs, no tomatoes, just pastry." Since then, the Germans have found pastry everywhere, skewered on their bayonets, under their pillows, even in their laundry. "And all of it's stale!", complained Ensign Deutsch, who is counting the days until his first leave, when he can go home and eat some strudel. The German invasion was in retaliation for Denmark's embargo on pastry to Germany. "It could have been worse," remarked Marine Pfc. Dieter Dumkopf. "If this were Norway it would have been fish." ******************************************************************************* The GM: ------------------------------------------------------------------------ | Brian Rapp | rapp@freezer.it.udel.edu | brapp@vax1.udel.edu | Ferret | ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Up