Diplomacy Zine -- EP #203 Chapter Seven From: Eric_S_Klien@cup.portal.com Date: Wed, 10 Oct 1990 04:44:51 +0000 Issue #203 of ELECTRONIC PROTOCOL: ************************************************************************ "May we ask to arrange for the return of the prisoners?" "Oh", Drill said. "That won't be possible. After we learned what we needed to know, we terminated their lives. They were being kept in an area reserved for a garden. The landscapers wanted to get to work." Drill bobbed his head reassuringly. "I am pleased to inform you that they proved excellent fertilizer for the gardens. The result was quite lovely." ************************************************************************ Chapter One contains: BLITZKRIEG, GETTYSBURG, and PASSCHENDAELE And is published by uunet!cti1!rlister or rlister@cti.com/Russ Lister Chapter Two contains: DRAGONSLAYER, JACAL, MANHATTAN, VERSAILLES, DRESDEN, and KHAN And is published by sinhaa@mcmaster.ca/Anand Sinha Chapter Three contains: DAWN PATROL, BERLIN, EL ALAMEIN, SQUALANE, UNGAWE, CAPTAIN CAVEMAN, BRUSILOV OFFENSIVE And is published by cwekx@htikub5.bitnet/Constantijn Wekx Chapter Four contains: NICKEL, OZARK, DEADLY DAGGERS, YORKTOWN, MONTREUIL-SUR-MER, FIRE WHEN READY Chapter Five contains: ARCHANGEL, BORDEL, ERIS, MASADA, and YALTA And is published by jjcarette@watami.waterloo.edu/David Gibbs Chapter Six contains: TOKUGAWA, BERLIN WALL, HIROSHIMA, GENGHIS KHAN, SEA LION, VIOLENT PEACE And is published by ps9zrhmc@miamiu.bitnet/Peter Sweeney ------------ Chapter Seven ------------ Winter '00 of the gunboat game GOODBYE BLUE SKY (EP #79) (GM is death@watcsc.waterloo.edu (Trevor Green) Continued from past issue. |------------------------------------------------------------------------------| |The Free Blue Sky - Waterloo - Official Megaphone of the Dissociated Press | |October 1900 | |OUTBREAK OF SILLINESS OVERWHELMS PRESS OUTLETS! | | | |WATERLOO (DP) - As the new century threatens to dawn, with nations everywhere | |mobilizing, all our wires have been cluttered with silly press with | |datelines such as "Istanbul to Paris", or "Italy->Germany". Needless | |to say, press is not a transitive event, as it tends to cover | |something which occurs in only one place. Proofreaders at the | |Dissociated Press offices are working overtime to acquire legible and | |comprehensible press, or, failing that, modifying what they did get | |into an acceptable format. | |------------------------------------------------------------------------------| |Paris - This morning, our beloved King Louis LXXIV. discussed European | | politics with the ambassadors of the neighbours of France. Beneath some | | smalltalk about the weather, He said: | | "Moi, King Louis LXXIV. wants peace with all of its neighbours. As Our | | traditional support lies in the iberian peninsula, We'd like to keep peace | | at our other borders. Regarding Italy We hope the Italian King agrees upon | | keeping Piemont free of armies. The same applies to the French Channel (often| | misinterpreted as the "English" Channel). We will also strengthen our eastern| | frontier, but do not intend to attack Germany." | | The English ambassador was made fully understand that an English fleet in the| | Channel would mean war with France; the same applied to the German ambassador| | with regards to Burgundy. There also were some negotiations concerning | | Belgium. Of course - as everyone knows - Belgium is a French territory as | | half of the people living there speak our beautiful language; however there | | seemed to be a certain concern about other countries different thoughts about| | that. | |------------------------------------------------------------------------------| |The Daily Gossip October 14, 1900 London, England | |QUEEN INTENT ON WAR! | |Our Palace sources have revealed that Her Imperial Majesty, apparently | |still in most excellent health on her deathbed, has ordered her | |generals to begin a series of extensive military manoeuvres. Could | |this be war? A general in the Royal Navy who asked for | |confidentiality told a Gossip reporter that purchases of arms for his | |fleet were triple that of last year. We leave you, dear reader, to | |make up your mind. | |------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | Winter 1900 THE PAPAL BULL 250 Lira | | "All the propaganda we deem fit to print" | | | | Arab Dissent Grows | | Tunis (IPS) Once again our Arab brethren took to the streets of Tunis to | |protest against their evil Muslim overlords. Crowds marched on the | |governmental offices chanting slogans such as 'Viva Italia' and 'Heck nope, | |we want a Pope'. One protester asked, "We were once a part of the [Roman] | |Empire, why not again?" The government in Rome has declined to comment. | | | | Papal Rumors Denied | | Rome (PWI) The Papacy is still denying all rumors that Pope Leo XIII has | |been assassinated and replaced by Pope Sadis I. These denials come amid | |growing concern over the location of Pope Leo XIII, who hasn't been seen | |since a loud barrage of gunfire was heard at St. Peters. Since this time | |the government has arrested several suspicious looking men, who have | |supposedly been wearing turbans, brandishing large swords, and shouting | |"Long live Turkey, Down with the Pope!" The Italian government has | |declined to comment. | | | | New Project Proposed | | Genoa (IPS) The Ministry of Defence announced yesterday that it was | |appropriating one trillion Lira for a building project in the Alps north of | |Genoa. "Hopefully by next fall, we will have built the Piedmontese Alps at | |least 5000m higher, making them impassable to anyone.", declared the | |Minister of Defence. He went on to state that the project was not intended | |to be an offensive act, and that in no way would the French Alps be | |modified. The Mayor of Genoa was elated be the proposal. He stated, "This | |should bring one million new jobs to the area, not to mention all of the | |skiers." The president has declined to comment. | |------------------------------------------------------------------------------| |The Daily Mail October 15, 1900 London, England | |WAR RUMOURS RUN RAMPANT | |Rumours have been flying fast and thick through London following the | |erroneous publication of The Daily Gossip's article, "QUEEN INTENT ON | |WAR!". We remind you, gentle reader, that the article refused to name | |any sources for any of the so-called "information" that it published | |indicating that Her Majesty wanted one final military fling before | |passing the baton. Additionally, we have received an official | |statement from the Palace's staff that Her Majesty, although as | |majestic as usual, was in no condition at any point this past month to | |issue any orders. At a press conference for the Royal Navy concerning | |the breach of security, General Jacobs-Sulky IV stated, "Our military | |prep...exercises this year are no more extensive than our routine | |yearly exercises." Jacobs-Sulky went on to re-iterate Britain's | |promise to keep the Channel free of all military vessels. | |------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | LEUAGE OF NOTHINGS JOURNAL | | December 1900 | | Members of the Committee on World Peace, today is indeed a great day. | |All of the information gathered by this committee has conclusively shown | |that we are on the brink of aqn epoch of peace. many states have already | |complied with the joint Austrian, British, French, German, Italian, | |Russian, and Turkish resolution calling for disarmament and disbandment of | |their armed forces. Among them are the Scandinavian, Iberian, and Low | |countries, not to mention the Balkans. I know that the Great Powers have | |yet to comply, but I have the upmost faith in them. It is insane to assume | |that there could ever be another war....Gentlemen, world peace is upon us! | |------------------------------------------------------------------------------| |Istanbul (AP) - New Century celebrations were cut short following news that | |Turkish citizens had been attacked by angry Bulgar mobs throughout the region | |of Bulgaria. The Sultan ordered festivities halted and the Defense Minister | |has been recruiting volunteers to comprise a peace-restoring mission. Although| |there has been no actual fighting, His Majesty has called for the restoration | |of order in the troubled region. Rumors of similar happenings in Sarajevo and| |Bucharest could not be confirmed. | ================================================================================ Winter '00 of the warp game DEF CON 5 (EP #80) (GM is jjcarett@watami.waterloo.edu/David Gibbs) Country assignments: Austria: Greg Paul; paulg@frith.egr.msu.edu England: Eric Hyche; eric@medinfo.gatech.edu, eric@eedsp.gatech.edu, gt7417a@prism.gatech.edu France: Bill Stamos; bstamos@ncsa.uiuc.edu Germany: Jim Feldhouse; jfeldhouse@miavx3.bitnet, jf5irhmc@miamiu.bitnet Italy: Jordan Lampe; jordan@bosco.berkeley.edu Russia: Gary Samad; gary@chema.ucsd.edu, gsamad@ucsd.edu Turkey: Trevor Dewey; deweyta@whitman.bitnet Since this is a warp game, I would like to run things fairly quickly. If it is acceptable to everyone, and if all the links are fast enough, I would like to run deadlines for moves to be midnight the day after I send results, and I would like to get a 24-hour turn around at my end as well. If weekends are bad for people, I can consider a weekend to be one 24 hour period. Example: I mail results 8:00 am Tuesday, orders due by midnight Wednesday, I mail results 12:30 pm Friday, orders due by midnight Sunday. If nobody has problems with this, I'll run things this way. If this is a problem, get back to me, I don't want to go any slower than 2 day turns though. Since the first turn is the most difficult for Diplomacy, and for fixing email/address problems, the deadline for Spring 1901, assuming no major communication problems, will be: (drum roll please) Thursday at midnight. (ie 11:59:59 Thursday, Sept 5, 1990) -David Gibbs (jjcarett@watami.waterloo.edu) Winter '00 of the no press gunboat game KING'S GAMBIT (EP #82) (GM is chbrin5@dknkurz1.bitnet/Kai Hortmann) Hi| I'm Kai Hortmann, your GM in the no press gunboat game KINGS GAMBIT. You are playing XXXXXXX. And now some important points: 1) Network connection: Please respond as soon as you get this letter. I must be absolutely sure that I can reach everybody. 2) Deadlines: Spring 01 deadline is Wednesday, 10 Oct 1990 As we need no time for press or negotiations, I will try to make this game as fast as possible. I will calculate results as soon as I have all moves, even if this is before the deadline| If I haven't received your move until the deadline, I will send you an angry letter and give you three more days before I ask Eric Klien for a replacement. 3) Acknowledgement: When I receive your move, I will send you a letter that I have received your move and what I read out of it. You can use the abbreviations mentioned in Eric Klien's rules, but I would prefer if you write the provinces in full length, especially if you move fleets in the NOR region. :) An acknowledgement should reach you in not more than 24 hours, but don't get nervous until 2 days are over. 4) Header: I will try to include in each header a line saying Subject: KINGS GAMBIT:(your country) and would like you to do the same. Tell me if the header of this message includes such a line, as it might have been mangled by a mailer or my crossnet program. 5) Comments: Feel free to add any comments to your moves. I will not include them into the results, they are for my eyes only. Maybe you want to tell somebody why this moves was brilliant/necessary, and I'm always interested. Don't expect an answer though, as I might have insider information already. 6) Me no American: I'm German, that means that English is not my native language. If I make any mistakes, correct me. As long as you use no slang, I will understand you. 7) Complaints: If you object to anything of the above, please tell me before Spring 01. 8) Good luck :) <* Kai Hortmann - chbrin5@dknkurz1.bitnet - Konstanz - Germany *> Publisher comments: Quote is from Facets, p. 317, by Walter Jon Williams. Here is the rest of the MetaDiplomat #18. Part one was in EP #200. ((Sorry about the hack-and-slash stuff. I hope you're satisfied with my presentation of your thoughts without your details. I'll concede that your points will make a difference to players who are seriously concerned about the detail of their games. But I still stick to my basic premises about British Style....that the majority of people would prefer to write their orders (Spring and Fall, not retreats or adjustments) with the total knowledge of where the enemies' units lie, and without delays to set the units in place. There are going to be complicated problems in either system. Those who welcome complexity will choose American style; those who prefer simplicity at the expense of a little control will prefer British.)) Where has this guy been? Here's GARRET SCHENCK: I haven't read a full report from DipCon, but it does seem like the scoring system interfered with selecting the "best player" (I suppose the fact that Bergmann ended up winning is prima facie evidence that a massive transgression transpired, but perhaps I digress) (actually, I'm kidding, I haven't the faintest idea how good or bad a player Jason is). I wrote to David Hood about the problem of including supply center counts in the scoring system, but apparently without effect. Did Jason end up getting (21 x 7) extra points for his 21 center win? (( Yes, he got 42 more points for his 21 center win than I got for my 15 center win. )) That would be a travesty. At the very least, supply center count scoring systems should be cut off at 18--in fact, all wins should count as 18. However, that's only if tournament directors insist on counting SC's at all--my feeling is that they are irrelevant to who won or drew (i.e. which single person got 18 centers, or could convince the rest of the board that they could get 18 centers; or which coalition of powers were able to drive the rest of the players from the board, or were able to convince the rest of the players that they could drive the rest of the players from the board). ((Whew!)) After reading several discussions on scoring systems over the past year (and I suspect you've opened up the can of worms again), the best scoring system I've run across (I think I saw it explained in Megalomaniac) is one where if someone wins a game, they are the winner of the tournament, unless someone else wins a game. If there are multiple people who've all won the same number of games, then 2-way draws are looked at, then 3-way draws, etc. It does reward good play, doesn't take supply centers into account, and almost forces serious contenders for the top position to play the entire tournament--i.e. who's going to rest on their 1 win, 1 draw laurels after two rounds in a four-round tournament, when they know people who did relatively poorly in the first two rounds could match their performance in the last two? It also heavily rewards winning as opposed to drawing--which given the relative difficulty of both, is only proper. I don't know if this system has ever been tried at a major convention, but I think it should be. It's a simple, novel approach, that just might answer your three "points" of a good tournament system. Does anyone out there have any experience of such a scoring system being used? ((The only problem I see is that it doesn't separate the lower levels of players very well. Perhaps centers could be counted for survivals, and years of life for elimination, to break ties. This suggestion has already been brought up in Meta (#11 or so, I think), and I think it's tremendous. I'm going to forward a comp copy of this issue to Cal White and see what he thinks. CLOSING REMARKS BY THE PUBLISHER: I asked David Hood to send me some reasons that SC's are worthy of consideration. He has done so, but I'm not going to print it here, as many readers have already expressed complete boredom with the topic. However, he has asked me to write for Diplomacy World on the non-virtues of counting supply centers for tournament scoring. I hope to get around to it in time to meet his mid-August deadline. So, check DW out to see the battle continue, if you're interested. Meanwhile, I'll take the issue up with Cal White for next year, and see what comes up in the meantime. Parting shot: Anyone got any good ideas on how to play Bridge postally? Here's some good stuff forwarded from the INTERNET network by way of MALINDA MATNEY: THE UNOFFICIAL SMILEY DICTIONARY -------------------------------- :-) Your basic smiley. This smiley is used to inflect a sarcastic or joking statement since we can't hear voice inflection on the computer. ;-) Winky smiley. User just made a flirtatious and/or sarcastic remark. More of a "don't hit me for what I just said" smiley. :-( Frowning smiley. User did not like that last statement or is upset or depressed about something. :-I Indifferent smiley. Better than a Frowning smiley but not quite as good as a happy smiley :-> User just made a really biting sarcastic remark. Worse than a :-). >:-> User just made a really devilish remark. Those are the basic ones...Here are some somewhat less common ones: (-: User is left handed %-) User has been staring at a screen for 15 hours straight :*) User is drunk [:] User is a robot 8-) User is wearing sunglasses B:-) Sunglasses on head ::-) User wears normal glasses B-) User wears horn-rimmed glasses :-{) User has a mustache :-{} User wears lipstick {:-) User wears a toupee }:-( Toupee in an updraft :-[ User is a Vampire :-E Bucktoothed vampire :-F Bucktoothed vampire -1 tooth :-7 User just made a wry statement :-* User just ate something sour :-)~ User drools :-~) User has a cold :'-( User is crying :'-) User is so happy, s/he cries :-@ User is screaming :-# User wears braces :^) User has a broken nose :v) broken nose, other way =:-) User is a punk rocker =:-( (real punk rockers don't smile) +:-) User is the Pope or religious |-I User is asleep |-O User is yawning/snoring :-Q User is a smoker :-? User smokes a pipe O-) Megaton Man On Patrol! O :-) User is an angel (at heart?) :-P Nyahhhh! :-D User is laughing (at you!) :-X User's lips are sealed :-& User is tongue-tied :-C User is really bummed <|-) User is Chinese <|-( User is Chinese and doesn't like these kind of jokes C=:-) User is a chef @= User is pro-nuclear war *<:-) User is wearing a Santa Hat :-o Uh oh! (8-o It's Mr. Bill! *:o) And Bozo the Clown! d8= User looks like a beaver wearing goggles and a hard hat. E-:-) User is a Ham radio operator :-9 User is licking his/her lips [:-) User is wearing a walkman <:-I User is a dunce @:-) User is wearing a turban The invisible smiley ..-) User only has one eye ,-) Ditto...but he's winking C=}>;*{)) Mega-Smiley... A drunk, devilish chef with a toupee in an updraft, a mustache, and a double chin (EDFH?) Note: A lot of these can be typed without noses to make midget smileys. :) Midget smiley :I - Hmmm... :( - Sad :[ - Real Downer |^o -Snoring :-#| smiley face with mustache :-0 smiley orator :-? -smiley smoking pipe }:^#}) mega-smiley: updrafted bushy-mustached pointy nosed smiley with a double-chin A pig: Bon Jovi: Ed Koch: Bozo the Clown: ### # ### :@) #:-) :-) :o) ### # ### ----------------------------------------------------------------- End of MetaDiplomat #18 Here is a letter from loeb@kim.laas.fr/Daniel Loeb: I know you are always looking for quotes. If you happen to like Monty Python, then this file collection will keep you stocked for a long time: Date: Wed, 12 Sep 90 14:14:36 EDT From: Malcolm Dickinson <CLARINET@YALEVM.bitnet> To: loeb@grace Subject: Python Files REPLY TO 09/11/90 17:26 FROM loeb@GRACE.LAAS.FR: MP files Thank you for inquiring about the Executive Version Python Files that are available here at The Virtual Python, inc. You are obviously a user of excellent taste who appreciates the finer quality things in life and is willing to pay the few extra pence for an article of *real quality*. To you, we offer a full range of 90 (yes, ninety) select Python files, including a full 14 files from the Album of the Soundtrack of the Trailer of the Film of "Monty Python and the Holy Grail." If you would like any of the Executive Python files, please send mail to me personally here at CLARINET@YALEVM.BITNET specifying a) The userid and node to which the files are to be sent b) Which files you would like to be sent c) The shop where you bought the equipment d) Where you got that outRRRAGEOUS accent, you silly king. Anticipating with utmost apprehension your order, I remain Sgt. Maj. Malcolm M. Dickinson (Mrs.) <CLARINET@YALEVM> The Virtual Python, inc. P.S. remember, with each purchase of 180 files or more, you get a free limited- edition hardback autographed signed copy of "Biggles is Extremely Silly"! P.P.S. And with every purchase of >2700 files you get your free autographed copy of the naughty bits of Reginald Maudling! P.P.P.S. I wish to object to the preceding P.P.S. It was in very bad taste. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The following list of file names and subjects appears ONLY in the *Executive Version* of this letter. (Numbers indicate the order of the HOLY GRAIL files) ** List of all 90 Python Files ** | \|/ ANAGRAMS - Three sketches about marasang (7) from "Papperbok" and Flying C. ANTHRAX - the Tale of Sir Galahad, from "Holy Grail" (10) ARCHITEC - the Architects sketch, from "Flying Circus" ARGUMENT - the Argument sketch from the "Live at City Center" album ASSOCIAT - the Word Association sketch from the "Contractual Obligations" album BANTER - the Air Force Banter sketch from "Flying Circus" BARBER - the Homicidal Barber sketch from "Flying Circus" BED - the Buying a Bed sketch from "Flying Circus" and "Previous Record" BEE - the fish license/Eric the half a bee sketch from "Previous Record" BIGNOSE - the 'Big Nose' scene from "Life of Brian" BISHOP - the Dead Bishop on the Landing sketch from "Live at City Center" BLCKMAIL - Blackmail! The TV Game show from "Live at City Center" BODY - "How Your Body Works" by A. Nother Doctor. From "Papperbok" BOOKSHOP - the Bookshop sketch from "Live at the Hollywood Bowl" BRAINCEL - the "Spot the Braincell" Game Show sketch from "Live at Drury Lane" BRIAN - the opening song from "Life of Brian" BRIDGE - the Bridgekeeper scene from "Holy Grail" (14) BRIGHT - the 'Always Look on the Bright Side of Life' song from "Life of Brian" BRUCE - the Australian sketch from "City Center" (incl. 'Philosophers Song') BUTTOCKS - the Man with Three Buttocks sketch from "Flying Circus" CAMELOT - the Camelot song from "Holy Grail" (6) CAT - the Burying the Cat sketch CHEESHOP - the Cheese Shop sketch from "The instant Monty Python Record Coll." CHURCH - the Atheist's Sunday Brunch sketch from "Contractual Obligations" CINEMA - an interview with Sir Edward "Eddie Baby" Ross. From "Flying Circus" CLAIM - 'Stake Your Claim', from "Monty Python's Previous Record" COMPOSER - the 'Decomposing Composers' song from "Contractual Obligations" COMUNIST - the Communist Quiz sketch from "Live at Drury Lane" & "City Center" CONTRA - the Contradiction Sketch from "Monty Python's Previous Record" CROC - the Men being Eaten by Crocodiles sketch from "Contractual Obligations" CYCLING - the Cycling sketch from "Flying Circus" episode 10 DEAD - the 'Bring out your dead' scene from "Holy Grail" (2) DINOSAUR - the Dinosaur sketch from "Flying Circus" and "Previous Record" DONG - the 'Not Noel Coward' Song from "Meaning of Life" * ELECTION - the Silly Party Election sketch from "Live at Drury Lane" EVEREST - the hairdressers' ascent of Everest sketch, from "Flying Circus" FRENCH - the French castle scene from "Holy Grail" (8) FRUIT - the Self-Defense Against Fresh Fruit sketch GALAXY - the Galaxy song from "Meaning of Life" GRAIL - the Blessing from the Lord scene from "Holy Grail" (7) GRENADE - the Holy Hand Grenade scene from "Holy Grail" (13) HAGGLE - the Haggling scene from "Life of Brian" HITLER - the North Minehead Bye-Election sketch from "Flying Circus" HYMN - 'All Things Dull and Ugly' from the "Contractual Obligations" album KNIGHT - the Black Knight scene from "Holy Grail" (4) LEGS - the 'I've Got Two Legs' song from "Live at the Hollywood Bowl" LIFEBOAT - the Lifeboat sketch ("I'd rather eat Johnson...") LLAPGOCH - the 'Fear No Man' advert from "Monty Python's Brand New Papperbok" LORETTA - the Inalienable Rights scene from "Life of Brian" LUMBERJK - the Lumberjack song from "Flying Circus" MEDOCTOR - the 'Me, Doctor?' scene from "Flying Circus" MELLISH - the story of Ralph Mellish from "Flying Circus" MONEY - the Money Programme sketch from "Flying Circus" MOORE - the Dennis Moore sketch from Monty Python's Previous Record NEWS - the News for Parrots sketch from "Flying Circus" NI - the Knights Who Say 'Ni!' scene from "Holy Grail" (11) NUDGE - 'Nudge Nudge, KnowhatImean, Saynomore!' from "Live at City Center" PEASANT - the 'Repression' scene from "Holy Grail" (3) PENGUIN - the Penguin on top of the Television Set from "Flying Circus" PETSHOP - the Dead Parrot sketch from "Flying Circus" PHRASEBK - the Hungarian-English dictionary sketch from "Flying Circus" PILATE - the scene in Pilate's chamber from "Life of Brian" PIRANHA - the horrible tale of Doug and Dinsdale Piranha from "Flying Circus" POOR - the 'We Were Poor' sketch from "Live at City Center" and "Hollywood" QUIZ - the communist quiz sketch from "Live at Drury Lane" RHUBARB - the Rhubarb Tart song by John Cleese ROBIN - the song of Sir Robin from "Holy Grail" (9) ROCKNOTE - the Rock Notes sketch from the "Contractual Obligations" album SHEEP - the sheep in the trees sketch from the first episode of "Flying Circus" SITON - the 'Sit on my Face' song from "Live at the Hollywood Bowl" * SPAM - the Spam sketch from "Flying Circus" and "Previous Record" SPANISH - the Spanish Inquisition from "Flying Circus" SPERM - the 'Every Sperm is Sacred' song from "The Meaning of Life" STONING - the Stoning scene from "Life of Brian" STORY - the Story of the Film so Far from "The Album of the Trailer of the Soundtrack of the Film of 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail'" (8A) STRING - the advertising sketch from "The instant Monty Python Record Coll." SWALLOW - the opening scene from "Holy Grail" (1) SWAMP - the complete Swamp Castle scene (The Tale of Sir Launcelot) from "Holy Grail" (12) TOUR - What's wrong with Package Tours, from "Live at City Center" TRAIN - The "It all happened on the 11:20 from Haynought" sketch TRIAL - the short trial sketch TWOSHEDS - an interview with Arthur "Two Sheds" Jackson, the film maker UNDERTAK - the Undertaker's Sketch from the "Contractual Obligations" album VICTOR - the tale of Sir Victor and the angel... from "Life of Brian" WHIZZO - the Whizzo Quality Assortment sketch from "Live at the Hollywood Bowl" and "Live at City Center" (a.k.a. "Crunchy Frog") WINES - the Australian Wines sketch WISEMEN - the nativity scene from "Life of Brian" WITCH - the famous Witch Burning scene from "Holy Grail" (5) WOOD - the Woody Words sketch from "Flying Circus" WORRIED - the 'I'm So Worried' song from "Contractual Obligations". ************************ ALSO AVAILABLE ************************************* * the file PYTHON DATA, which contains 203 one-line quotes from various Python sketches. Put it on a public disk and write an exec to let people get random one-line responses when they type PYTHON! * the exec PYTHON EXEC, which does exactly that for VM/CMS operating systems. * the .COM file PYTHON.COM, which does it for VAX/VMS systems. * the .COM file MAILPYTH.COM, which sends python quotes as MAIL to other users (for those of you without SEND priveleges) Here is a letter from loeb@kim.laas.fr/Daniel Loeb: "Here is a letter from Ken Lowe (indented), and my reply: > I will send you a copy of the program and you can see how I did it even > if you don't know LCS. You offered an LCS interpretter earlier as well. I haven't gotten anywhere in trying to design my strategy, but I'm taking the rest of this week off and looking at this is on my list of things to do. I'm not ready to commit to designing a master level player, but I should be able to come up with something that will help debug your program. I just sent you [Ken] a complete copy of my program along with a "comment" on the name, usage, type, and meaning of each object. (I haven't tested it yet really, but it does compile correctly.) Bernard (bernard@rita.laas.fr) just gave me a copy of the interpretter. I'll port it over to Bordeaux, and if it works there, then I will tar and uuencode it over to you [Ken]. Don't worry if your [Ken's] program is not "master level". If it was TOO good other people would be too intimidated to write their own, and in any event, once somebody writes a better program, I'm sure you'll want to change yours. I'm sure I'll have some substatial comments on your protocol after I start to think seriously about my design, but there are a couple of things I'd like to point out now. One item concerns prior knowlege. Somewhere someone brought up the point of whether his program should know what other programs were playing the other powers. My feeling is that your program should NOT be told who the other powers are. Each game should be unique in itself with no grudges held to the next. I have made the decision that the names of a program are to be kept secret. Thus, a program can store information from game to game if it is one of those "learning" programs, but it should have no idea against who it is playing. Of course, one fault in the logic, is that a program can purposely identify itself by behaving in a particular manner, and thus benefit from a trustworthy reputation. Of course, such a program would be suseptable to impersoniation by other less scrupulous programs. Another item is that programmers should be instructed to make their programs restartable at a particular phase in the game. If something goes awry with the adjudicator in fall of 1906, you don't want to have to start over from the beginning to test that again. Also, if the game continues to 1910 before you stop it, you don't want the results of that phase affecting a replay of 1906 (eg: Russia stabs Turkey in 1910 and Turkey puts that in its own database which then causes Turkey to stab Russia in 1906 when it gets replayed). This is easy to put into my program. I'll make the change right away. At the beginning of any game a program should expect the following input: HLO nation to indicate what nation you are playing. Followed by the input NOW season year [(natunit)] where season is either SPR or FAL (games will never begin in a build phase or retreat phase). If the season and year are SPR 101, then the program can assume that this is a new game. Otherwise, the program must consult the list of units with nationality which follows. For debugging purposes, eliminating random numbers or at least using predictable random numbers (based off of a fixed seed for a particular phase of a particular game) might be desirable or even necessary. I would not like to make too many restrictions on programmers. But I would like every programmer to send me with his program: 1 - A list of countries it can play, if not all. 2 - Whether the behavior of the program is repeatable. 3 - Whether the program can play against itself. 4 - What commands the program understands. 5 - What commands the program sends. 6 - A brief summary of your strategy. 7 - Suggested additions (or changes!) to protocol. 8 - Installation instructions. Another idea I had recently, was whether to allow variants. I think I will EVENTUALLY allow variant which only change the configuration of the board, the initial set up, the number of countries, and victory condition. No variants will actually change the rules will be considered since it would be impossible to write a strategy to take into account an arbitrary rule system whereas I am hoping that some people will write strategies that can be played on an arbitrary board. I would install such variants by giving the HLO command some additional parameters. However, before I do so, I would like to hear some input from you out there. ******************************************************************** QUIZ ANSWER! ******************************************************************** In EP #197, published the following quiz: From: loeb@moon.greco-prog.fr (Daniel Loeb) In order to keep my reputation as problem-poser, here is another one. (Q) In the game of chess, White has 20 possibilities for his opening. However, later in the game one can find positions inwhich their are many more possible moves. What is the chess position with the most legal moves? (The position must be one that can LEGALLY arise in a chess game, but you need not show how it can come up.) How many moves are possible? To which I got the following response: From: dougi@astro.as.utexas.edu (Doug Ingram) Eric, Here's my guess on the chess problem. I hope this is a valid entry; it is a legal position, after all. 8 - - - K - - - - 7 r - - - - - - - 6 - p - b b n - p 5 - - - - - - - - 4 - - - - q - - - 3 - - n - - - - - 2 - p - p - p - - 1 - - - - - - r - a b c d e f g h Total possible moves for black = 93 Ra7 = 14, Rg1 = 14, Bd6 = 11, Be6 = 11, Nc3 = 7, Nf6 = 7, Qe4 = 24, Pb6 = 1, Pb2 = 1, Pd2 = 1, Pf2 = 1, Ph6 = 1 Doug Ingram Well Doug, you did the best of anyone who submitted an answer, so congratulations! Here is the best answer: This is the answer to my chess quiz for publication in EP: A: This trick in coming up with the maximum number of possible moves for white is to recall that a player can have more than one queen. In fact, it is theoretically possible for white to advance ALL of his pawns into queens before the end of the game giving him a total of nine queen. The only other important consideration is that since it is white's move, black must not ALREADY be in check. After considering the above constaints, you will find the following solution (which allows White to chose from between 203 legal moves) to be the best: Q K N B B R r k . Q . R b . . Q . N . . . . Q Q . . . . . Q . . . . Q . Q . . . Q lower-case indicates black pieces "." indicates empty dark spaces "N" indicates knight Incidentally, only 6 out of these 203 legal moves will give white an immediate win. (Problem and solution due to Warner Smith.) ******************************************************************** QUIZ ******************************************************************** Here is another quiz from loeb@moon.greco-prog.fr (Daniel Loeb): *** CONTEST *** Let's see who out there knows the rulebook the best. The objective is to come up with a diplomacy position and orders for all the countries during one half-year (either spring or fall any year) which employs the use of the most rules. In addition, points will be given for inventing situations not covered by the rules. For our purposes, we use the following definitions: Season: A season begin when the previous season end except that Spring 1901 begins when the players decide to play diplomacy. A season of diplomacy ends after results have been computed, and any necessary builds, removals, and retreats made except that a season can end with a one player victory after the autumn retreats, or with a draw at any point. Rules: The standard rules of Diplomacy with 7 players are used as enumerated below in the following list. Each line represents one rule with the following exceptions. Rules preceeded by a number in brackets divide themselves naturally into that many subrules and you score one point for each subrule. (Rules not so preceeded only earn one point.) Rules preceeded by infinity in brackets earn you one point the first time they apply, and 1/2 a point each time thereafter. Rules beginning with ellipsis "..." are an additional clause of a preceeding rule. You get a point for that clause only when the clause goes into effect. To get a point for the general rule, you must have a case where the clause does not go into effect. Negative rules are preceeded by a "-". You get a point for using them, if there is an attempted violation of this rule. Positive rules are preceeded by a "+". You get a point if there is an action done allowed by this rule. I.a +[7] There are 7 players (A-H, E, F, G, I, R, T) in the game. I.b +Players chose their countries by drawing lots. II.a +A player wins with 18 supply centers II.b +Players may propose draws at any time II.c +If all players agree, the game ends in a draw including all surv. VI.2. +[7] If one of the 7 nations runs out of markers, use another color VI.3.a +[7] Specification of starting position (F Lon, F Edi, A Lpl, ...) VI.3.b +[12] 12 remaining SCs are unowned VII.1.a -A unit may only move, support, convoyed or hold VII.1.b -A unit may not do more than one of the above things VII.1.c +A unit may go unordered VII.1.d -Armies may not convoy VII.1.e -Units may not move to nonadjacent spaces VII.1.f -Armies may not move to sea VII.1.g -Fleet may not move inland VII.1.h -Fleets can only move between coastal provinces "along the coast" VII.1.i -Units may not move to unnamed spaces VII.1.j -Units may not move to Switzerland VII.3a.a+[2] Fleets may enter Kiel and Con (from either side) VII.3a.b+[2] Armies may enter Kiel and Con (from either side) VII.3a.c+[2] Fleets may leave Kiel and Con (on either side) VII.3a.d+[2] Armies may leave Kiel and Con (on either side) VII.3b.a+[3] A fleet in a Spa/Bul/Stp occupies the entire province VII.3b.b-[3] No Ambiguous moves to Spa/Bul/Stp VII.3b.c+[3] Supports are allowed INTO Spa/Bul/StP without regard for coast VII.3b.d-[3] Supports OUT OF Spa/Bul/StP must take coast into account VII.3c.a+Units may pass between Sweden and Denmark VII.3c.b-Bal and Ska are not adjacent VII.3c.c-Sweden only has one coast VII.3c.d-Den and Ber are not adjacent VII.4.a +Units illegally ordered stand in place VII.4.b +Mistaken orders are followed if legal VII.4.c -Ambiguous orders are not allowed VII.5. +When assigning country, an 8th person can be made Gamemaster VII.6.a +Two units moving to the same space is a stand-off VII.6.b +Two units moving to each others space is a stand-off VII.6.c +A unit moving to a nonempty space is a stand-off IX.1.a +Supports may be given to units trying to hold a space IX.2.b +Supports may be given to moving to a space IX.2.c -The supporting unit must be able to enter that space IX.2.d +It need not necessarily be adjacent to unit being supported IX.2.a +Equally supported units in rule VII.6.a bounce IX.2.b +Equally supported units in rule VII.6.b bounce IX.2.c +If equally support in rule VII.6.c the attacker bounces IX.2.d +A unit can be forced to retreat by a superior force IX.3.a +Dislodgement prohibited by your own unit IX.3.b +[infinite] ... However, such attacks are valid for "other purposes" IX.3.c +Your own support may not cause your dislodgement IX.3.d +[infinite] ... But is valid for "other purposes" IX.4.a +A country can stand itself off with 2 equally attacks on a province IX.4.b +... However, if one attack is stronger then it succeeds IX.5. +[infinite] Beleaguered garrison rule. IX.6.a -A unit not ordered to move may only receive support for holding IX.6.b -A unit ordered to move may only receive support for his move IX.6.c +The support is invalid in the case the move fails IX.6.d -Support can not be convoyed IX.6.e -A player can not cut support given by one of his own units IX.7.a +If (A->B) dislodged (B->A), then (B->A) doesn't bounce (C->A) IX.7.b +[infinite] If (A->B) dislodged (B->A), a 3rd unit could retreat to A X.a +Support normally cut by being attacked X.b -Support not cut from space into which it is supporting X.c +Support cut even in case above if dislodged XI.a +Dislodged units may retreat XI.b -No retreat to occupied space XI.c -Nor space attacker came from XI.d -Nor space left vacant due to stand-off XI.1. +If 2 or more units retreat, moves are made simultanously XI.2.a +Player may be forced to disband if no choice XI.2.b +Player may CHOSE to disband XI.2.c +2 retreats to same space, then disband all XI.2.d +Failure to retreat, then disband XI.2.e -No convoyed retreats XI.2.f -No supported retreats XII.1.a +A fleet can convoy an army between 2 adjacent coastal provinces XII.1.b -Each fleet can do only 1 convoy per turn XII.2. +Long convoys are possible. XII.3.a +A dislodged fleet disrupts convoy XII.3.b -Other attacks do not affect convoy XII.4. +[infinite] Ambiguous convoys are disrupted by failure of any route XII.5. -[infinite] A convoyed attack does not protect the convoying fleets XIII.1.a+Occupation of SC in Fall with retreats determines ownership XIII.1.b+Otherwise, ownership is same as preceeding year XIII.1.c-Spring Occupation doesn't do anything XIII.2.a-Excess units must be removed XIII.2.b-To comply with XIII.2.a, a player can not remove units except his own XIII.2.c+To comply with XIII.2.a, a player may remove any of his units XIII.2.d+New units can be built if enough SC XIII.2.e-... in an unoccupied XIII.2.f-... home XIII.2.g-... supply center XIII.2.h-... still under his control. XIII.2.i-Must specify army or fleet in coastal provinces XIII.2.j-And coast in StPete XIII.2.k+If no space, builds are differed to another year XIII.2.l+Builds can be volunteerily differed XIII.2.m+Players without home supply centers continue to play but not build XIII.2.n+If more than 2 sets are needed, write builds simultaneously XIV.3.a +Unplayed countries are in CD. XIV.3.b +CD countries hold in Fall/Spring. XIV.3.c +CD dislodged units are disbanded. XIV.3.d +CD buids are waived XIV.4. +CD removals are computed by distance and alphabetical order XIV.5. -[2]Fleets in Kiel and Constantinople may not convoy. +The orders (A->B, B->C, C->A) can all be successful +The orders (A->B, B->A with C convoying) can all be successful Special Comments: Will be in next issue. ****************************************************************************** To join in the fun, send your name, home address, home and work phone numbers, and country preferences to Eric_S_Klien@cup.portal.com. ****************************************************************************** Up