WeWF Report #16

From: arxt@quads.uchicago.edu (Aidan Palmer)

Date: Mon, 15 Apr 1991 02:07:58 +0000

WeWF Report #16			4/14/91

Frank Steel Still Champ, Beats General!

Frank Steel continued his title reign, the WeWF's longest ever, by winning
four of his title matches, and fighting to a draw against his partner, "Irish"
Mike Flint.  In his final match of the week he beat the General, who had
beaten him by DQ the week before.  However, the General hung on to the #2
contender spot, and will get another shot next week.  The Re-Animator and
"Irish" Mike Flint held onto their Continental titles, they will also get
shots next week.  DiMadMan, after losing the Tag Team belts, came back to
regain the Africa/Australia Championship!

Flint and Steel Take Tag Belts!

Flint and Steel defeated the Intoxicators to win the Tag Team Titles for the
third time!  This means that they hold almost all of the major titles except
the six man belts, which Apocalypse Now successfully defended.

Four Corners, Elementals Tied For TCS Lead!

The Four Corners moved up to a tie for first place with the Elementals in the
Team Challenge Series.  Neither of these great teams has faced the other yet,
and that is the matchup many fans are looking forward to.

Four Corners Fined!

The Four Corners have been fined $10,000 each for their vicious attack on
the Circus of Pain which put four men in the hospital!  The members of the
Abattoir have been fined $1,000 each for their part in the attack which took
place at the Awards Ceremony.  The $44,000 will go to pay the medical bills
of Dr. Pain and his Circus.  Meanwhile, Dr. Pain has been fined $1,000 for
shaving Robby the Lame's head!  Robby was seen recently asking an unidentified
man, said to be Lanny Poffo, about toupees.

Supercard 3 News!

Two matches have been signed, and several other challenges are still out
there.  The matches signed so far are: The Four Corners and the Abattoir vs.
the Elementals and Sword, Shield, Axe, and Chain in a Triple Dome of Terror
Match with the Hit 'N' Run Rabbi as referee!  And Doug "Crusher" Corey vs.
the Crusher in a Loser Drops Name Match!

There is still plenty of time, the Supercard will be held the last day of
April, so send your challenges now!

Summer Vacation?

A lot of managers will probably be away from terminals for the Summer Break,
so when you send me your matches and comments, let me know if you will be
gone, and when so that I can get an idea of who will be here this summer,
and what will happen to the WeWF.

Time

I have been trying to save time, so I have a couple of programs doing the
points and match results, and I would really appreciate it if someone could
write a program to do the rankings.

I removed 27 wrestlers this week, since I hadn't heard from their managers in
the past month, and I would like all managers to not create any more wrestlers
for the time being, since there seem to be plenty already.

There are a few simple things that you can do to help me, which are: 1) make
as few strategy changes as possible.  If it ain't broke, don't fix it!  2)
when you are listing your matches, please keep title match
challenges on one line, since I grep through a 70K file looking for them, and
it's really annoying having to search through the entire file...  Please
list your opponent's name, and your wrestlers name on the same line so that
I can send title challenges to the champions faster!

Send me your matches/comments by 4/21/91!

Matches This Week

World Title:

Frank Steel barely pinned the Re-Animator.
Frank Steel and "Irish" Mike Flint fought to a time-limit draw.
Frank Steel destroyed WindWarrior.
Frank Steel barely pinned Virus.
Frank Steel pinned the General.

Tag Team Title:

The Intoxicators beat Sword and Shield.
Flint and Steel barely pinned the Intoxicators.
Flint and Steel beat the Law.

Continental Titles:

The Re-Animator beat Klingon Disrupter.
The Re-Animator destroyed Destruction.
The Re-Animator destroyed Devastation.

"Irish" Mike Flint dominated Judge Dredd.
"Irish" Mike Flint pinned the General.
"Irish" Mike Flint destroyed Sasquatch.

WindWarrior survived the Romulan Mauler.
Mr. Roddy barely pinned WindWarrior.
DiMadMan beat Mr. Roddy.

Individual Matches:

The Iceman pinned the Berserker.
Guardian dominated the Berserker.
"Viking" William pinned Max Altitude.
"Viking" William beat Ultra Boy.
"Viking" William beat AquaDemon.
Ahpook the Destroyer dominated Johann "Great Dane" Svenson.
The Millionaire survived Mathie Man Riemann Savage.
Mathie Man Riemann Savage pinned WindWarrior.
Virus barely pinned the General.
The General beat Volcano.
The General beat the Masked Marvel.
The General destroyed Samson Goliath.
"Irish" Mike Flint destroyed Death.
WindWarrior survived Doom.
Vito Gianelli beat Darth Vader.
Klingon Disrupter dominated Khan Noonian Singh.
Thanos pinned Galactus.
Darkseid the Destroyer barely pinned Lar Gand.
Skrog the Marauder's Dragon barely pinned the Secret Agent Man.
Bjorn "the Sweedish Pretzel" annihilated Cap'n Good.
Cap'n Good pinned Nanook of the North.
Ahpook the Destroyer destroyed Cap'n Good.
The Plaid Powerhouse destroyed Sgt. Happy.
BudMan annihilated Sgt. Happy.
Skrog the Marauder's Dragon dominated Grunk the Barbarian.
Skrog the Marauder's Dragon pinned FireLord.
Skrog the Marauder's Dragon dominated Mort Rue, the Merciless.
Skrog the Marauder's Dragon survived Judge Dredd.
Judge Dredd destroyed Galactus.
The Flying Dutchman pinned FireLord.
The General barely pinned the Flying Dutchman.
The Flying Dutchman dominated Juggernaut.
BudMan beat the Flying Dutchman.
The Flying Dutchman beat the Romulan Mauler.
Klingon Disrupter beat Sasquatch.
The Romulan Mauler survived Sasquatch.
The Crusher beat the Grim Reaper.
The Crusher annihilated Cap'n Good.
The Crusher dominated Doom.
The Crusher survived Pain.
The Savage pinned Judge Dredd.
The Savage beat TerraDoom.
The Savage pinned Mathie Man Riemann Savage.
The Hit 'N' Run Rabbi beat the Dutch Hooligan.
The Neutralizer dominated the Dutch Hooligan.
Tom "the Animal" Brown destroyed the Dutch Hooligan.
The Dutch Hooligan barely pinned Destruction.
The Dutch Hooligan barely pinned TerraDoom.
DiMadMan annihilated Samson Goliath.
BudMan and "Irish" Mike Flint fought to a time-limit draw.
BudMan destroyed FireLord.
BudMan beat the Millionaire in a Mask vs. Mask match.
"Irish" Mike Flint annihilated Nanook of the North.
Ultra Boy beat Darth Vader.
The Romulan Mauler beat Mort Rue, the Merciless.
Ahpook the Destroyer beat Sasquatch.
DiMadMan destroyed Sasquatch.
"Irish" Mike Flint destroyed Sasquatch.
Volcano barely pinned Sasquatch.
Judge Dredd pinned Sasquatch.
Jimmy Carbon destroyed Thorin.
Lokis beat Guardian.
Jimmy Carbon dominated the Berserker.
The General beat Guardian.
Venom pinned Sour Krout.
Sour Krout pinned Darkseid the Destroyer.
Sour Krout beat Lar Gand.
Sour Krout and WindWarrior fought to a time-limit draw.
"Irish" Mike Flint beat the Millionaire.
Judge Dredd barely pinned Vito Gianelli.
The Masked Marvel survived Vito Gianelli.
The Re-Animator survived the Neutralizer.
The Neutralizer annihilated Cap'n Good.
The Neutralizer barely pinned the Hit 'N' Run Rabbi.
The Neutralizer pinned Ahpook the Destroyer.
The Neutralizer barely pinned Judge Anderson.
The Millionaire barely pinned the Grim Reaper.
Mr. Roddy and the Mexican Bandit fought to a time-limit draw.
FireLord barely pinned Lord Roderick.
Venom pinned Volcano.
The Eradicator beat Volcano.
Sasquatch pinned the Iceman.
Khan Noonian Singh survived the Iceman.
Judge Anderson pinned Max Altitude.
Virus annihilated the Berserker.
Virus barely pinned 'Viking' William.
The Frozen Caveman and Sasquatch fought to a time-limit draw.
The Frozen Caveman barely pinned Mugambo Squid.
The Iceman pinned the Frozen Caveman.
Black Tiger destroyed the Salivating Sadducee.
The Millionaire beat the Salivating Sadducee.
Ahpook the Destroyer beat the Salivating Sadducee.
Skrog the Marauder's Dragon beat Ferro Lad.
Skrog the Marauder's Dragon dominated Val Amorr.
FerroLad beat Nanook of the North.
Val Amorr beat Nanook of the North.

Tag Team Matches:

The Law pinned the Bruise Brothers.
Sword and Shield survived the Maniacs.
Flint and Steel destroyed the New Gods.
The New Gods barely pinned the BattleCruisers.
The Intoxicators beat the Maniacs in a Steel Cage match.
The Exterminators beat the Maniacs.
The Exterminators pinned Sword and Shield.
The Law destroyed the Legion of Super Wrestlers.
The Intoxicators annihilated the Thunder Brothers.
The Highlanders barely pinned the Steel Monkeys.
Flint and Steel beat the Highlanders.
Alpha and Omega beat the Chain Gang.
The Chain Gang beat Death and Destruction.
Fire and Ice pinned the Righteous.
The Terror Technicians beat RnR.
The Terror Technicians pinned the BattleCruisers.
The New Gods pinned the Class of 2964.
Alpha and Omega pinned the Class of 2964.

Six Man Matches:

Apocalypse Now dominated Death, Doom, and Devastation.
Apocalypse Now beat the Superstars.
Apocalypse Now barely pinned the Union Shop.
The Union Shop beat the Superstars.
Apocalypse Now barely pinned the Abattoir.
The Abattoir pinned Capital Punishment.
Sword, Shield, and Axe barely pinned the Chain Gang 3.

WeWF Wrestler Rankings

World Champion:			Frank Steel (62-17-2)

Tag Team Champions:		Flint and Steel (37-13-1)

Americas Champion:		The Re-Animator (15-2-2)
Eurasia Champion:		"Irish" Mike Flint (38-20-1)
Africa/Australia Champion:	DiMadMan (23-8-1)

Six-Man Champions:		Apocalypse Now (5-0)

1. Virus (34-9)
2. The General (48-26)
3. Mr. Roddy (42-25-2)
4. The Crusher (35-20)
5. BudMan (23-8-1)
6. The Romulan Mauler (22-7-1)
7. FireLord (30-18-1)
8. AquaDemon (17-6)
9. WindWarrior (19-9-1)
10. The Neutralizer (34-26-3)
11. The Flying Dutchman (33-25-2)
12. TerraDoom (17-9)
13. Juggernaut (32-26-1)
14. Tom "the Animal" Brown (15-9)
15. Ahpook the Destroyer (7-1)
16. Black Tiger (14-9-1)
17. The Hit 'N' Run Rabbi (6-1)
18. Destruction (25-21)
19. Dutch Hooligan (17-13)
20. Skrog the Marauder's Dragon (9-5)
21. The Savage (7-3)
22. Sour Krout (5-1)
23. The Millionaire (14-11-1)
24. The Plaid Powerhouse (13-10)
25. Venom (5-2-1)
26. Bjorn "the Sweedish Pretzel" (16-14-1)
27. Judge Dredd (6-4-1)
28. The Eradicator (4-2-1)
29. Mathie Man Riemann Savage (4-2)
30. Volcano (36-35-1)
31. The Masked Marvel (14-13)
32. Thanos (1-0)
33. The Salivating Sadducee (5-5)
34. Darkseid the Destroyer (1-1)
35. Khan Noonian Singh (1-1)
36. Ultra Boy (16-17)
37. Grunk the Barbarian (1-2)
38. The Secret Agent Man (0-1)
39. The Frozen Caveman (3-5-1)
40. Ferro Lad (1-3)
41. Val Amorr (1-3)
42. Darth Vader (0-2)
43. Death (0-2)
44. Devastation (0-2)
45. Doom (0-2)
46. Judge Anderson (1-4)
47. Mort Rue, the Merciless (0-3)
48. Nanook of the North (20-24)
49. Vito Gianelli (18-22-1)
50. Mugambo Squid (17-21)
51. Lar Gand (8-12)
52. The Iceman (15-20)
53. Pain (10-15-1)
54. Samson Goliath (4-9)
55. Galactus (3-8)
56. The Berserker (4-10)
57. Sgt. Happy (1-7)
58. "Viking" William (11-18-2)
59. The Grim Reaper (0-7)
60. Lord Roderick (21-30-3)
61. The Mexican Bandit (7-17-2)
62. Johann "Great Dane" Svenson (5-16)
63. Cap'n Good (1-12)
64. Sasquatch (4-16-1)

Tag Teams:

1. The Terror Technicians (15-4)	Pain and Virus
2. The Intoxicators (12-3-1)		BudMan and DiMadMan
3. The Maniacs (22-15)			Maniac #1 and Maniac #2
4. Alpha and Omega (10-6)		Alpha and Omega
5. The Law (6-3)			Judge Dredd and Judge Anderson
6. New Gods (4-1)			Thanos and Darkseid the Destroyer
7. The Exterminators (7-5)		The Enforcer and the Law Maker
8. Sword and Shield (9-8)		Jake Shield and Angus Campbell
9. The Thunder Brothers (3-2)		Thorin and Lokis
10. The Highlanders (9-9)		Bjorn and the Plaid Powerhouse
11. Class of 2964 (2-3)			Val Amorr and Ferro Lad
12. Steel Monkeys (0-1)			Monkey #1 and Monkey #2
13. Death and Destruction (0-1)		Death and Destruction
14. The Bruise Brothers (1-3)		Ahpook and Grunk
15. BattleCruisers (0-3)		Romulan Mauler and Klingon Disrupter
16. The Righteous (1-7)			Cap'n Good and Sgt. Happy
17. The Chain Gang (12-18)		The Steroid Centurion and the Eunuch
18. Fire and Ice (6-13-1)		Volcano and the Iceman
19. The Legion of Super Wrestlers (6-14)Ultra Boy and Lar Gand
20. RnR (4-14-1)			Lord Roderick and Mr. Roddy

Six-Man Teams:

1. The Abattoir (4-2)
2. Sword, Shield, and Axe (2-2)
3. The Union Shop (1-1)
4. The Superstars (4-5)
5. Capital Punishment (0-1)
6. Death, Doom, and Devastation (0-1)
7. The Down-Under Decking Crew (0-1)
8. The Chain Gang 3 (0-2)
9. Bermuda Triangle

Did Not Compete:

Action Man (3-2)
Albert Turing (7-10)
Bart Simpson (10-27-2)
"Crusher" Cootus (3-4)
Doug "Crusher" Corey (10-17)
George Bush (16-18)
The Golden Pig, Oink Zeggpold (6-15-1)
Master
Max Altitude (6-4)
The Menace (7-6)  Injured
Mr. B (6-8-1)
Mr. Fujikuchi (3-6)
Wizard

Chaos Personified (0-1)
Chilled Fury (0-1)
The Dynamic Machine (14-13-1)
O.S.E. (6-1)

Comments

Screen fades in, showing a great battle in progress...
There are two figures almost single-handedly defeating a huge army.

The Eradicator steps in front of the camera.  "We have come to know
the wrestlers of the WeWF as true warriors.  Most have strength and
courage.  However, courage cannot help you when you're overwhelmed.
And strength cannot help you when you've been outmaneuvered.  This
is what we do best."

With the battle over, Grunk the Barbarian and Ahpook the Destroyer
approach the Eradicator, "We have conquered again, but it's not a
challenge anymore....We need to fight real men.  Three men who think
they are equal to us.  Those men may not exist, but if they do, we'll
find them."

The Eradicator again turns to the camera.  "We have grown weary of
one on one competition only, so we plan to conquer the six-man tag
team belt.  We will challenge all the teams that currently exist.  They
will step into the ring, but they will never leave.  That is why we have
decided to name our team after one of your planet's greatest mysteries, the
Bermuda Triangle.

The camera fades out as the trio turn around and walk across the now-barren
battlefield.

Zoom in on the General pacing back and forth with a Mike in his hand...

"Well Mr. Steel, you used the rules to your advantage to sneak out
 of this one!  After my Superplex left you unconsious in the center
 of the ring, you had your partner flying clothesline the ref from
 the top rope!  Your need to hide behind the technicalities of the
 abominable rules situation to hold on to your belt!  If we had one
 decent ref in this federation, I wouldn't have this problem.  Since
 we don't, I challenge you to a title match at the next supercard where
 the champion, if that's you or me by then, loses the belt if he
 disqualifies himself.  I challenge you on your honor as man to do it.
 If you truly feel that you can take me one on one in a fair fight,
 then I challenge you to accept this match.  If you chose to turn
 down this offer of a one-on-one scientific match, then it will show
 that you are no better than the rest of these pansies and scrubs
 that call themselves competitors.  The ball is in your court!"

Camera fades away...

"I've had a lot of time to think since the sneak attack by the Four Corners,
and I've come to the conclusion that Pain and his schemes were holding me
back. So, it's time for a change of strategy for the World's Strongest Man,
and I'm gonna start with you, Steroid Centurion! I can hit you from behind,
you can hit me from behind, but that doesn't prove which one of us is the
strongest! So I challenge you to a Test of Steel match. The rules are simple:
fifteen foot steel cage, the first one out wins. But here's the catch: this
cage has a ceiling, and the door gets welded shut after we're in! That's right,
the only way out is to make your own opening! And I don't think either one of
us is gonna let the other one do that unless he's face down on the mat! Let's
settle this once and for all, Centurion-no Pearl Harbor, no chains, just you,
me, and the Cage!"--Samson Goliath

Darth Vader caused Vito Gianelli to be mysteriously tangled in the
ropes, allowing him to beat Vito severely...

During the match between Thanos and Galactus, Darkseid charged into the ring
area and used a scepter to clock Galactus when the ref wasn't looking...

The Crusher:  "Alright, Doug 'The Crushed' Corey... I'm tired of you whining
              that I adopted 'The Crusher' as a name before you did... I
              accept your challenge for the SuperCard... and THEN we'll see
              who The REAL Crusher is... and who gets CRUSHED!"

During a match by the Law (Judge Dredd and Judge Anderson), Thanos the Mad God
snuck into the arena and blindsided Judge Anderson with a hefty Business Law
book, allowing the Law's opponents to win easily...

GREEN JEAN OKTOBERFEST: All right, ladies and gentlemen, help me welcome
a newcomer to the WeWF!  He claims he has some top-secret information,
and he's gonna release it...right here!  Let's bring out The Secret
Agent Man!

GREEN JEAN OKTOBERFEST <as music fades>:  I must say, Secret Agent Man,
you have had some of us here at the WeWF a bit CONFUSED.  Here, you've
been saying all along you have information -- classified information!
-- about some of the goings on here in the WeWF.  I can't imagine what
you may know that the rest of us do not.

SECRET AGENT MAN <low voice>: It's not so much the goings-on IN the
WeWF as it is the goings-on OUTSIDE the WeWF.  You see, Green Jean,
I've been investigating for quite some time.  About 90% of the infor-
mation I have I can't even talk about, because the investigations are
not complete.  Most of that information is just hear-say, and some of
it turns out to be untrue.  But you see, the Secret Agent Man ONLY
speaks when he has the truth, and he ONLY speaks when he has the proof
to back it up.  <Takes a small guest book out of his overcoat.>

GJO: Whoa, whoa, whoa! What is THAT?!

SAM: Evidence, Green Jean! Pure, undoctored, untouched evidence!  This
will prove to you all that when the Secret Agent Man speaks, he speaks
the truth.  This is only THE FIRST of many investigations, Green Jean,
that I have conducted!  And let me tell you something <cracks a grin>,
it's some juicy stuff!

GJO: Whaddayamean, juicy?  Where'd you get that?  <reads the cover>
"GUEST BOOK....The Rain Forest Hide-A-Way." What in the world is that?

SAM: It's a brothel, Green Jean! <crowd reacts with shock>  A dirty,
sleazy, stinky, cheap-thrill brothel...AND...as I'll show you on Page
Two, look who runs the place in her spaaaaaare time!"

GJO: You gotta be kidding me, a broth-....<reads> Oh my! Amazon Amy!
<crowd pops>

SAM <big grin>: That's right.  You thought Amazon Amy was just another
witch-with-an-attitude.  Well, you can call her Madame Witch-With-An-
Attitude! <crowd laughter>

GJO: Wait just a minute, where did you get this?

SAM: Well, I made a deal Green Jean.  I was only allowed to show this
book to you <points to the camera> and all the WeWF fans, if I kept the
exact source a secret.  I can tell you, however, it was loaned to me by
a vice squad of a Texas town.  This whole thing would devastate the town
if I released its name, because most of its residents don't even know
about it.  And when the Secret Agent Man makes a promise, he keeps it!

GJO: Well, that's very --

SAM: Wait, Green Jean, that's not even the half of it!  Let me flip
through this thing, and show you exactly who's been frequenting Amazon
Amy's "Abode of Amore!" <flips the pages and points out names>

GJO: Oh well now wait!  We don't need to know tha -- whoa-ho-ho! Well!
<grabs the book, flips, grins, flips, bigger grin> I see every name of
the Four Corners here in this book! <crowd laughs and cheers, SAM nods>
This is absolutely amazing!  <flips some more, closes book>  I can't
believe it; the Four Corners have been frequenting a cathouse?!?

SAM: You got it, Green Jean. It seems that you need a reservation to
get into this place.  The ladies write down the names in this book, and
upon their enterance, the gentlemen sign right next to where their names
are written.  The drawback is, if someone ever gets his hands on this
book, the real names are seen because real names are needed to get in!
So that not only makes Amy an Amazon, it makes her a DUMB AMAZON!!
<crowd is roaring with laughter>

GJO <trying to fight back smiling>: So, you mean to tell me that Amy...
and the Four Corners....?

SAM <serious face, hold one hand up>: I know what you're thinking Jean,
and I don't have any proof of that. Like I said, the Secret Agent Man
only speaks when he can back it up, and I don't have anything to back
that up, so I'm not saying THAT happened.  But I do know -- and now we
ALL know -- that Amy has been making a little extra money on the side,
and that the Corners have been SPENDING a little extra money on the
side.  Oh, we all knew that THAT bunch was never the straight-and-narrow
type, <takes the book and holds it up> but I'll bet you NEVER thought
of THIS!

GJO: Tell me, Secret Agent Man, why are you telling us all of this?

SAM: To prove a point!  Four Corners, Amazon Amy, I'll bet you thought
the fans would NEVER find out about this!  You thought you had your
tracks so well-covered, that it wouldn't matter WHAT you do!  Well that
just goes to show ya, YOU BETTER START LIVIN' THE STRAIGHT AND NARROW,
'CAUSE IF THE SECRET AGENT MAN IS WATCHIN', YOU DON'T WANNA FIND OUT!

During a match against Klingon Disrupter, Khan Noonan Singh brought some
mind slugs to ringside.  Chekov, Photon's manager, stayed clear of that side
of the ring the entire match.

When Sword and Shield returned to their Lockers they found a pile of Ashes from
a funeral where their clothes once rested.  Atop the pile, a note which read,
'Ashes to ashes.....'.

The now famaliar globe spins in the background as Judges Dredd and Anderson
stand at either side.  A smile crosses the face of Judge Dredd as he begins
to speak.

Dredd: 'RnR you crossed the line, let your punishment stand as an example of
 the fate that awaits all the misanthrops in this league.  And you so called
 Exterminators, in the ring fans saw who the true law of this federation is.
 Talk is cheap, just like you.'

Anderson: 'And as for you self proclaimed emperor, you can not hide forever.
 No one can hide from....'

Both: 'The LAW!!!'

Anderson: 'Not even you.'

Green Jean: Wince, Baboon.  We have today a man with whom the Four Corners and
            the Abattoir have asked to be the special guest referee for the
            Triple Dome of Terror Cage Match.  Why?  Well maybe this man will
            tell us why.  First of all for you people that don't know what the
            match is, TWIW will be bringing you exclusive reports every week.  I
            can tell you this, it's three steel cage rings on top of each other
            and it's sixteen men going at each other fullbore with no rules
            once you get inside.  Well anyway here's the man the Four Corners
            and the Abattoir have asked to ref, the one and only Hit 'N' Run
            Rabbi.  (Some fans cheer as the Rabbi enters)  Well Rabbi why do you
            think the Four Corners and The Abattoir have asked you to referee
            this unique match?

Rabbi:      Well Green Jean I can't tell you any particular reason.  I can tell
            you one thing, they can't buy me.  I'mn going to ref this match with
            the highest Kosher Standards.  I will check all sixteen men for
            international objects, and when a man is ready to come out, I'll
            unlock the door for him.  Corners, Abattoir I know about your wrong
            doings.  Elementals you have also been known to pull a couple of
            tricks, well none of you are going to get by me.  My Kosher
            Standards are known throughout the world and they will stick for
            this match.  So don't try to pull anything past me.  Green Jean its
            been a pleasure.  Malzel Tov! (The fans cheer as he leaves the
            platform.)

Green Jean: Well there you have it the Hit 'N' Run Rabbi isn't going to stand
            for anything.  Corners, Abattoir you may have made a mistake on this
            pick.  This is Green Jean Ocktoberfest, and I'll be keeping you
            informed on this interesting Triple Dome of Terror Cage Match, back
            to you Wince and Baboon...

Nanook of the North, with bone spear in one hand, a man-sized leg hold
    trap in the other, glares at the camera...

"Most of my trap lines are set.  The rest will be done soon.  Tom
    Brown, how soon will it be before you are caught?  HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Nanook of the North shows up at ringside for all of Tom "the Animal"
    Brown's matches, pacing around the ring, brandishing his spear and
    leg-hold trap at "the Animal" whenever he looks Nanook's way.

Schofield and Brack are unavailable for comments due to their ongoing feud.

Flint: Intoxicators, we want our tag belts back and we can't think of
anyone better to take them from than you lowlife scum.

Steel:  Well, well, It looks like we got a few more masked wrestlers in the
WeWF, I've never really liked masked wrestlers, so Apocolypse Now, well, just
see how long you stay masked.

Molly: I guess we got some new business and some old business, Millionaire,
we haven't forgotten about you and Mike is going to refresh your memory about
what it feels like to go up against a working man, and Four corners, we
plan on hitting you as often as we can to knock you out of the WeWF.

=======  WeWF Wrestling Spotlight ========

JAY:  Hello FANS!  Crazy Jay Morgan here once again...awaiting the arrival of
      the newest member of the CHAIN GANG. In the meantime, lets-
  (Jay is cutoff by the deafening sound of the large motorcycle driving into
   view.  A large biker-type with a big beer wearing a black Harley-Davidson
   T-shirt slides off the bike to talk to Jay.)
JAY:  And here he is, NED HARLEY.  Ok, Ned,..
NED:(Interrupting)  That's Mr. Harley, to you, CHUMP!
JAY:(Unphased)  Ned, How did you get into wrestling?
NED:(Slightly peeved)  It's like this.  I was coming out of the bar when I see
  these two guys knocking over my hog.  They're wearing these jackets that have
  Chain Gang on 'em.  I ain't never heard of this Chain Gang before, so I think
  that this must be a new gang in town that wants to rumble.  So's I goes over
  there and start kicking the <BLEEP> out of them.  All of a sudden, these guys
  do somethin' I've never seen before and I'm kissing the pavement.  Turns out
  these guys was pro-wrasslers.  Then this tall chick comes over.  Sez I have
  potential and asks me if I want a job.  So I say "Whadda I have to do."  She
  tells me that she'll pay me to bust some heads.  And to think I've been
  doing that all these years for nothing.  Heh-heh-heh-heh.
JAY:  Whatever.  Ok, Ned, What do you have to say to all those other recently
      formed teams going for the 6-man title?
NED:  Get out of town CHUMPS.  This is The Chain Gang's turf.  All those who
      come here better be prepared to rumble.
  (SLIDES BACK ON THE BIKE, REVS IT SEVERAL TIMES, PEELS RUBBER PULLING OUT)
JAY:  Ned Harley, along with the Chain Gang...Truly a force to be dealt with
      here in the WeWF........
=========================================

VITO GIANELLI
  Ok, DiMadman, that's twice you've cheated me out of the belt.  It may have
been a while since I've won a tough match...but I want to thank all of those
Vito-maniacs for standing by me.  But I've got plans for the Four Corners, big
ones.  Keep your eyes open at all times, FOUR CORNERS.  And keep your SUPERCARD
 commitments free.  Because PAYBACK TIME is coming SOON!

During a Flint & Steel Tag-team match, the Chain Gang's Steroid Centurion and
the Eunuch stand at opposite ends of the arena, waiting by some doors.
Suddenly, the Eunuch opens the door and Ned Harley comes roaring down the aisle
on his Harley-Davidson.  After looping around the ring several times, he laughs,
opens up a beer, chugs it, throws the can at Flint.  He makes several more
passes, and the kidnaps Molly Maguire!!!  He drives through the doors being held
open by the Steroid Centurion.
  Molly Maguire arrives back at the arena, several hours later, in a decidedly
worse shape than before -- covered in ink staps reading "Heavens Devils Biker
Bar."

Destruction was assaulted in the showers after a match this week.  According
to reports he was struck from behind and shoved into the wall.  When he
regained his senses, he noticed a message written in blood on the shower wall
'The End'.  A scythe was found soon after reposing against Destruction's locker.

Ross Hibbs, manager of the Neutralizer, was seen at ringside of all
the Continental Champions' title matches... with a notebook and pencil.
He also was on hand for the title defenses of Frank Steel, with the
same notebook and pencil.