WeWF Report #12 From: arxt@quads.uchicago.edu (Aidan Palmer) Date: Mon, 18 Mar 1991 01:10:05 +0000 WeWF Report #12 3/17/91 Frank Steel hangs on to World Belt, Tag Title! Frank Steel beat all five challengers this week to retain the WeWF World Championship! He and his partner, "Irish" Mike Flint also retained the WeWF Tag Team Titles! Next turn, Steel will defend against FireLord, AquaDemon, DiMadMan, Virus, and Juggernaut. Will the so far undefeated DiMadMan be the one to stop Frank Steel? Will it be one of the Elementals? Or will he stay champ for another week? FireLord wins Americas' Title! FireLord won the Americas' Title tournament, left vacant by Frank Steel last turn! He beat Incision in the first round, Mr. Roddy in the second, and Juggernaut in the finals! I guess this means Robby the Lame will be gloating for months! FireLord's partner, AquaDemon, won the Eurasia Title, and WindWarrior came very close to winning the Africa/Australia Title! Six-Man Entries! A number of managers voted for six-man matches in the TWIW poll, so as soon as there are enough teams, six-man matches will begin! To enter a team, send the name of the team, and the three wrestlers in it, as well as their moves, if they aren't already in the WeWF! Remember, a six-man team counts toward your five wrestler limit, so managers who already have five wrestlers may not enter a team. Also, there is a limit of one six-man team per manager. Supercard News So far 3 matches have been signed for the March Supercard: The Phoenix Spawn vs. the Ultimate Trekkies in an 8-man elimination match, The Elementals vs. The Lords of Discipline in an 8-man match, and Vito Gianelli and the General vs. The Crusher and a partner to be named later. Send me your matches and comments by the 24th! Send title challenges by the 22nd! Matches This Week World Title: Frank Steel beat the General. Frank Steel dominated Destruction. Frank Steel dominated Tom "the Animal" Brown. Frank Steel pinned Virus. Frank Steel destroyed Volcano. Tag Team Title: Flint and Steel beat the Chain Gang. Flint and Steel pinned RnR. Continental Titles: FireLord barely pinned Incision. (First Round) Mr. Roddy barely pinned BudMan. Vito Gianelli survived the Romulan Mauler. Juggernaut beat George Bush. FireLord pinned Mr. Roddy. (Second Round) Juggernaut survived Vito Gianelli. FireLord survived Juggernaut. (Finals) AquaDemon beat Destruction. AquaDemon dominated the Plaid Powerhouse. AquaDemon pinned "Irish" Mike Flint. Tom "the Animal" Brown dominated "Beastmaster" Gunter Wilson. DiMadMan beat Tom "the Animal" Brown. DiMadMan survived WindWarrior. Individual Matches: The Neutralizer dominated the Dark One. Vito Gianelli survived the Romulan Mauler. The Feral Frog destroyed "Beastmaster" Gunter Wilson. Frank Steel beat the Dark One. The Neutralizer dominated Destruction. Samson Goliath dominated Photon Torpedo. The Neutralizer beat Mr. Fujikuchi. Virus pinned the Dark One. Max Altitude destroyed "Beastmaster" Gunter Wilson. The Neutralizer barely pinned Beaver Bernie. Destruction pinned Photon Torpedo. Vito Gianelli destroyed Ultra Boy. Mr. Fujikuchi beat Photon Torpedo. Bjorn "the Sweedish Pretzel" pinned the Feral Frog. Samson Goliath pinned Pain. Strike Eagle barely pinned Lar Gand. The Neutralizer beat Laceration. Bjorn "the Sweedish Pretzel" beat Destruction. "Viking" William beat Johann "Great Dane" Svenson in a Steel Cage match. Virus barely pinned Mr. Fujikuchi. Nanook of the North beat Johann "Great Dane" Svenson. The Plaid Powerhouse beat the Golden Pig, Oink Zeggpold. The Romulan Mauler dominated Jake "Canadian" Shield. Jimmy Carbon dominated Ultra Boy. TerraDoom destroyed Jake "Canadian" Shield. Vito Gianelli barely pinned Mr. Roddy. Mr. Roddy beat the Mexican Bandit in a Welcome to the TerrorDome Match (1st). Beaver Bernie pinned Nanook of the North. Virus dominated the Mexican Bandit. The Flying Dutchman annihilated Joe "Brick" Wall. Nanook of the North pinned the Dark One. "Irish" Mike Flint destroyed Puncture. The Flying Dutchman beat the Plaid Powerhouse. DiMadMan beat the Berserker. Destruction pinned Angus "the Claymore" Campbell. Iceman beat Guardian. Nanook of the North survived Mr. Fujikuchi. The Swiler beat Guardian. The Flying Dutchman barely pinned Mugambo Squid. Destruction pinned the Mexican Bandit. Nanook of the North barely pinned Laceration. The General beat the Mexican Bandit. Nanook of the North destroyed Puncture. "Irish" Mike Flint beat Death. DiMadMan destroyed il Duce'. The Flying Dutchman barely pinned Laceration. "Irish" Mike Flint pinned the Hellhound, Rick Schroeder. Johann "Great Dane" Svenson pinned the Golden Pig, Oink Zeggpold. Mugambo Squid beat the Mexican Bandit. DiMadMan beat Franz. The Flying Dutchman barely pinned "Irish" Mike Flint. Mr. Roddy pinned Tom "the Animal" Brown. Juggernaut barely pinned Samson Goliath. Nanook of the North barely pinned "Irish" Mike Flint. The Killer Kangaroo pinned the Dutch Hooligan. FireLord dominated Volcano. The Romulan Mauler pinned Bart Simpson. Beaver Bernie destroyed the Dutch Hooligan. TerraDoom barely pinned Virus. Max Altitude dominated the Dutch Hooligan. The Flying Dutchman beat Bart Simpson. AquaDemon destroyed the Lethal Lemming. The Feral Frog barely pinned the Berserker. Joe "Brick" Wall survived the Dutch Hooligan. BudMan beat the Killer Kangaroo. TerraDoom beat Bart Simpson. Incision destroyed the Violent Vampire. FireLord beat Destruction. The Millionaire beat the Violent Vampire. TerraDoom dominated Volcano. The Crusher survived Incision. The Iceman pinned the Berserker. DiMadMan dominated Decapitation. Laceration barely pinned the Dark One. The Dutch Hooligan barely pinned Puncture. The Neutralizer annihilated Doug "Crusher" Corey. WindWarrior dominated Volcano. Franz dominated the Dutch Hooligan. The Masked Marvel barely pinned Bart Simpson. Death pinned Doug "Crusher" Corey. The Swiler pinned Bart Simpson. Incision pinned BudMan. The Iceman barely pinned the Dark One. The Hellhound, Rick Schroeder beat Doug "Crusher" Corey. The Masked Marvel beat Lord Roderick. Doug "Crusher" Corey survived the Unknown Masked Wrestler. Sgt. Happy pinned the Lethal Lemming. The Feral Frog destroyed Cap'n Good. The Crusher destroyed Doug "Crusher" Corey. Frank Steel destroyed the Millionaire. The Crusher survived Vito Gianelli. "Viking" William destroyed Doug "Crusher" Corey. The Crusher pinned BudMan. Virus destroyed Ultra Boy. The Flying Dutchman beat the Hellhound, Ricky Schroeder. The Crusher beat the Millionaire. BudMan pinned Death. Mr. Roddy beat the Mexican Bandit in a Steel Cage match (2nd Match). Tag Team Matches: The American Storm beat the Klingons in a Team Challenge match. The Imperial Storm barely pinned Photon Torpedo and the Romulan Mauler. (TC) The Killer Klowns survived the Klingons. The Thunder Brothers survived the Highlanders. The Death Squad barely pinned the Killer Klowns. The Intoxicators barely pinned the Lords of Discipline. The Imperial Storm barely pinned the Dynamic Machine. The Death Squad survived Sword and Shield. The Highlanders dominated the Chain Gang. The Terror Techicians beat the Killer Klowns. The Intoxicators destroyed the Klingons. The Imperial Storm destroyed the Chain Gang. The Thunder Brothers beat the Klingons. The Highlanders barely pinned Fire and Ice. The Imperial Storm annihilated the Legion of Super Wrestlers. The Klingons pinned the Chain Gang. The Leaping Lords pinned the Righteous. WeWF Wrestler Rankings World Champion: Frank Steel (40-16-1) Tag Team Champions: Flint and Steel (21-10) Americas Champion: FireLord (20-6-1) Eurasia Champion: AquaDemon (11-2) Africa/Australia Champion: DiMadMan (9-0-1) 1. Virus (23-5) 2. Juggernaut (30-14-1) 3. Mr. Roddy (32-23-1) 4. Destruction (24-15) 5. Volcano (34-26-1) 6. The Crusher (28-20) 7. The General (27-19) 8. Nanook of the North (13-6) 9. TerraDoom (10-4) 10. WindWarrior (9-3) 11. Romulan Mauler (8-2) 12. Vito Gianelli (15-10-1) 13. The Flying Dutchman (19-14-2) 14. George Bush (13-9) 15. The Masked Marvel (10-6) 16. The Millionaire (7-5) 17. BudMan (6-4) 18. Incision (5-3) 19. Max Altitude (4-2) 20. The Swiler (11-10-1) 21. Tom "the Animal" Brown (7-6) 22. Lar Gand (6-5) 23. Samson Goliath (2-1) 24. Decapitation (2-1) 25. Sgt. Happy (1-0) 26. Franz (4-4) 27. Jake "Canadian" Shield (4-4-2) 28. Beaver Bernie (2-2) 29. "Irish" Mike Flint (18-19) 30. Ultra Boy (12-13) 31. The Killer Kangaroo (6-7-1) 32. Angus "the Claymore" Campbell (5-6) 33. Cap'n Good (0-1) 34. Photon Torpedo (17-19-1) 35. Joe "Brick" Wall (17-19-2) 36. Mugambo Squid (15-17) 37. Strike Eagle (14-16-1) 38. Bjorn "the Sweedish Pretzel" (8-10) 39. The Plaid Powerhouse (5-7) 40. The Berserker (4-6) 41. The Lethal Lemming (21-24-1) 42. Mr. Fujikuchi (1-4) 43. "Beastmaster" Gunter Wilson (0-3) 44. The Feral Frog (20-24) 45. Lord Roderick (20-24-3) 46. The Iceman (10-14) 47. Pain (10-14-1) 48. Doug "Crusher" Corey (10-14) 49. Il Duce' (8-12-2) 50. Dutch Hooligan (2-6) 51. Laceration (1-5) 52. The Neutralizer (17-22-1) 53. The Golden Pig, Oink Zeggpold (6-11-1) 54. Puncture (0-5) 55. Johann "Great Dane" Svenson (4-10) 56. The Mexican Bandit (1-7) 57. The Dark One (0-7) 58. The Hellhound, Rick Schroeder (3-12) 59. "Viking" William (7-17-2) 60. Bart Simpson (10-22-2) 61. Death (7-21) 62. The Unknown Masked Wrestler (0-16) Tag Teams: 1. The Leaping Lords (22-13) The Feral Frog and the Lethal Lemming 2. The Dynamic Machine (14-8-1) Juggernaut and Black Tiger 3. Terror Technicians (8-2) Pain and Virus 4. The Death Squad (2-0) Death and the Hellhound, Rick Schroeder 5. The Imperial Storm (11-11-1) The Samurai and the Kamakaze 6. Sword and Shield (1-1) Jake "Canadian" Shield and Angus Campbell 7. The Highlanders (5-6) Bjorn and the Plaid Powerhouse 8. The Intoxicators (1-2) DiMadMan and BudMan 9. The Righteous (0-1) Cap'n Good and Sgt. Happy 10. The Chain Gang (7-9) The Steroid Centurion and the Eunuch 11. The Lords of Discipline (0-2) Abrasion and Incision 12. The Klingons (12-15-1) Klingon Phaser and Klingon Disrupter 13. The Legion of Super Wrestlers (4-8) Ultra Boy and Lar Gand 14. The Killer Klowns (1-5) Bozo and Chuckles 15. RnR (2-7) Lord Roderick and Mr. Roddy 16. Fire and Ice (4-12) Volcano and the Iceman Did Not Compete: Action Man (3-2) Slaving Albert Turing (4-6) Black Tiger (9-8-1) Dr. Bong (7-14) Drake Dukenagger (8-9) Hans (11-9) The Human Ox - Mongo (0-14) Irving Forbush (7-8-1) Mason "the Arm" Rockwell The Menace (7-6) Injured Mr. B (6-8-1) Vacationing The Re-Animator The Savage Turbulence (0-3) Alpha and Omega (5-4) FEAR (8-13-1) Hans and Franz (4-4) The Maniacs (16-12) The Newfie Bullets (1-3) O.S.E. (6-1) Magnum Force Tom "The Animal" Brown speaks: "It is time that the Africa/Australia Belt was held by a true champion, and a true Australian. As we say over here in Animal Land :"you're all wombat and no balls!!" Nuff said, losers! "Irish Mike Flint. You're one of the toughest opponents I've had to face yet. Along with your partner, Frank Steel, you've held more gold than most wrestlers ever get a shot at. Well, I've held this belt for close to a month now, and I'm looking to hold it for a long time to come, but I'm gonna be a fighting champion, and that means taking on the best of the best! If you want a title shot, Flint, step to the front of the line, but be prepared to face Destruction!" -Destruction "Laydees and Gentlemen! Introducing the greatest collection of wrestling talent ever assembled on one continent! Step right up, folks, and see these wonders of the world in action! Samson Goliath, the World's Strongest Man!" "Steroid Centurion, you trash your body with chemicals all you want, little man, it doesn't matter! I _am_ the World's Strongest Man, and when I press you up to the heavens, you're gonna come tumbling down like ALL my opponents!" "But that's not all, folks! In this ring, the King of the Jungle, Lord of All Things Wild: the Beastmaster, Gunter Wilson!" "All animals will bow before me! I have walked the savannahs of Africa, I have travelled to the far reaches of the African interior! The lion, the mighty elephant, the grizzly bear, I have tamed them all, and they no longer provide a challenge! I'm after bigger game now: Frogs, Kangaroos, and Lemmings! But first, the King of the Beasts: The Africa/Australia Champion, Tom "The Animal" Brown!" "Steroid Centurion, Tom Brown, Dr. Pain's gonna cut you a deal, boys, 'cause I feel sorry for ya's. After these two men get through with ya, I'll give ya both jobs in my Freak Show! Steroid Centurion, you can be the Musclehead With No Bones, 'cause Samson's gonna break every one of 'em! Tom Brown, you can have a job as the Man With No Face, 'cause the Beastmaster's gonna rip it off! YOW-za yow-za you-ZA!!!" "Beastmaster" Gunter Wilson arrived at his match with Tom "The Animal" Brown accompanied by his trained lions, Saba and Simba. After the match, he forced Brown to jump through a hoop with his whip. After his match with the Feral Frog, he forced the Frog to balance on a ball while juggling burning torches. He then had Saba and Simba chase the Frog back to the locker rooms. >From "Pretty Boy" Paul Schofield: I've had enough of you sissies here in this league! MY wrestlers are gonna show you what REAL men can do in the ring. Take Crusher Crawford here. He doesn't speak much, 'cause he's been hit too many times in the head. But when he sees his opponent, WHAM! He goes and turns into a meatgrinder, and pretty soon, there's nothin' left. I hereby challenge anyone to come and try out the Crusher for themselves. I also FORMALLY declare challenges to The Black Tiger, Max Altitude, Mexican Bandit, Dutch Hooligan, and Mike Flint. You wimps ain't seen nothin' yet! I'll let my tag team do the talking for themselves, since these guys make Crusher look nasty, and they're intelligent to boot. The Thunder Brothers: I am Thor, and the warrior beside me is my brother Loki. We have watched Midgard for many a century, searching for a competition worthy of our skills. And we have found it-- the WeWF! So, be warned, warriorlings! The God of Thunder has come down to Midgard, and his hammer is ready to smite thee! As my brother said before, I am Loki. Now, I may not be QUITE as impressive as my brother (of course, WHO could?), but do not mistake me--I am still a formidable opponent physically. But there is more to wrestling than strength alone. There is skill, cunning, deceit, and treachery--my finest points! So, be warned--we shall do anything AND everything to win our matches, whether inside or out of the ring! Watch your back, your front, and all sides--you may see our shadow just before we strike, so that you will know who has beaten you! Klingons! Come meet the true warriors of this planet--the Asgardians--and see how well you fare. Highlanders , we invaded your land long ago, and soundly beat you! My brother and I shall do worse! Sword and Shield--prepare to meet the hammer of Thor and the anvil of Loki! Imperial Storm--go blow your hot air in another galaxy--Earth belongs to the Thunders! And--heehee--Newfie Bullets, it's time for us to play 'patty-cake' with your heads! Manager Steven S. Brack: Now, imagine that! Schofield actually thinks those guys are gods! Why, next he'll be claiming that he's Odin! Anyway, pay no attention to that blowhard and HIS mice--MY boys are new in town, and want to establish some reps. We're looking for some good, clean fights with you, but any illegal horseplay will be met summarily in kind. So, to Iceman, Swiler, and Il Duce': Guardian is waiting for you to summon up the courage to face him, one-on-one. And after he's handled you, he wants some pieces of Killer Kangaroo and Strike Eagle--he's getting very hungry. Ultra-boy and Masked Marvel--Jimmy Carbon wants to show you what REAL superheroes can do to guys like you. Nanook, Terra Doom, and Jake Shield--you're next on his list for this week. Photon Torpedo--"Miracle" Rastan wants to show you the moves he learned while studying in Tibet, as a demonsrtation for his old teacher. Black Tiger, whatever is left of you after Crusher is also wanted by Rastan, along with Berserker, Angus Cambell, and Franz. "Dr. Pain, who do you think YOU are? I am Pain, you are nothing! You are what I scrape from under my fingernails. You are the scum of the earth. We will see what kind of man you are when Max, Virus and I clean your boys' clocks." >From StarFleet Headquarters, here is the Omnipotent Admiral Chekov: "Lightfinger! At SuperCard 2, your Phoenix Spawn will have to face my Ultimate Trekkies in an elimination tag-team match. That's right, a Survivor Series match to end the Team Challenge! This is going to be their last shot at glory, Lightfinger, and they will miss it, because they can't take our kind of heat. This time, the Phoenix will burn down to ashes and will never get back up. As for you, Killer Klowns and similar twits from the three-ring circus, just wait until we are finished with Lightfinger. Just wait... And you will know why the Ultimate Trekkies always prevail. Chekov out!" Wince: "Hello this is Wince McLady ringside at the tagteam matchup of Sword and Shield vs. Death Squad and introducing Donald Brooks guest-announcing from the PCWF. Donald?" Donny: 'Glad to be here, Wince. I've kept up with the WeWF for a while and I understand that there has been a lot of speculation about this new Death Squad team. Is that right?' Wince: "It certainly is Donny. This is Death's new tag team after breaking up with Destruction during the February Supercard. There's been a lot of speculation about who his new partner is. Last week they visciously attacked the Wild Boy R.U. Reddy and ended his career. Apparently Death's new partner is as nasty as he is! Some people are speculating that it is Mr. B in disguise, but that has been said about a lot of masked wrestlers lately." Donny: 'That's often the case Wince. There's also the matter of the bad blood between Sword and Shield and Death. I saw their Supercard match, woof! This could get ugly.' Wince: "I'm afraid that it will. With Death around, mayhem usually follows. Sword and Shield are entering the ring now. There's the Death Squad coming out of the locker room now! Death's in front... There's his partner! Look at that Donny, he's covered from head to toe in leather and spikes. He's still wearing a mask too. Don't those zippers over the eyes hurt?" Donny: 'Wince, look at those dogs Death's partner is taking with him, rottweilers. I only know of one "man" in the WeWF that has had a rottweiler with him ringside. You don't think...' Donny and Wince look at each other slack jawed. Thirty seconds later... Wince: "Well, there they go into the ring. I have a bad feeling about this, Donny. Death has got a new scythe it seems. Yes, he's swinging it around like he always does. The referees are getting smarter though. They let the Sword and Shield get into the ring first." Donny: 'Look, Death's partner is removing his outer clothing to get into fighting trim. Whew! Those leather trunks look awfully tight! God! I recognize those scars on his chest! Those are the markings of... of... The Thugee Death Cult!" Wince: "Well, it looks like the Death Squad will be getting along better than Death and Destruction did. Hold on, he's removing the mask, leaving the spiked dog collar on though. Is it Mr. B? No, it's... I can't believe it. It's..." Donny: 'RICKY SCHROEDER!!!!! It really is! Oh my...' The Hellhound Rick Scroeder turns and looks at Donny with a look that could only mean one thing, Murder! Donny: 'GOD!?' Hellhound Rick: [jumps out of ring charging Donny] "Ricky is dead, now there is only the Hellhound! Heed my words mortal cretins, as I will make an example of this sniveler. Grimtooth! Fang! Kill the whiner!" Hearing their names, Hellhound Rick's pets burst their chains at ringside and charge Donny Brook. The leap upon his chest and begin mauling him. When Wince tries to pull them off, Ricky picks him up by the throat and shakes him like a doll. He laughs. Death joins him in laughter. Hellhound Rick: [mocking] "Yes, Ultra Boy, I'll be a good itty witty Boy Scout! Hah! Little did you know that I was learning the secret martial arts of the Thugee assassins! I'll stand you on your ear Boy! Then I'll rip it out MoueHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" The Hellster shakes Wince for effect. Unable to stand any more of this uncalled for violence, Angus 'The Claymore' Campbell and Jake 'Canadian' Shield leap out of the ring to try to save Donny and Wince. Angus manages to throw off the rottweilers in their feeding frenzy and Jake tackles The Hellhound Rick Schroeder from behind, knocking Wince from his grasp. This is the chance Death has been waiting for. He begins to swing the scythe at Jake Shield. Wince: "Get the paramedics in here! Well, there it is fans, the Death Squad have declared themselves. OW! Jake just took a nasty scythe swing in the gut. Hopefully this sneak attack on ourselves and Sword and Shield will not faze Angus and Jake. It's usually not my job to pick sides at ringside, but it's not my job to be throttled either. And poor Donny. Look at his throat! His career is over! I can't take this anymore. I'm staying away from The Death Squad from now on!" Wince reaches out and turns off the camera. The Ultimate Trekkies showed up at all the Legion of Super Wrestlers matches, cheering for the LSW and pulling the fans on their side. The Trekkies never interfere, however. Virus, Dr.Bong and Lord Roderick were found knocked out in their dressing rooms. All of their hair had been shaved off and there are many cuts on their bodies in the configuration of tic-tac-toe boards. Virus and Lord Roderick had all of their possession set on fire and Dr.Bong had his right arm pulped by lockers. On each wall was the phrase:"In time, all things come to CHAOS!" In the Imperial Storm vs Legion of Super Wrestlers match, the Daimyo, David Lightfinger's protege, was overheard insulting the fans with the statement, "Your no better than Val Armorr!" What this means, who knows? In all of the Team Series matchups, the PhoenixForce has entered the arena in stylistic fashion. Shogun David Lightfinger is carried in on a palanquin carried by four men dressed in Japanese peasant armor. Behind him is carried the Daimyo. Strike Eagle leads the way carrying both the US and Japanese flags, while the Samurai and the Kamakaze flank the palanquins. The Dark One is no where to be seen... The Violent Vampire bit Incision in the neck, and then the Feral Frog and the Killer Kangaroo came in and made mincemeat out of Incision. The Feral Frog hacked up Incision's hands, and the Kangaroo broke both of his arms. Then the Vampire and the Kangaroo held Incision while the Frog repeatedly rammed the referee into Incision! David Lightfinger has been appearing as a bald man in a wheelchair during Juggernaut's matches. When asked about his appearance, Lightfinger was not commenting... Destruction, you've been ducking me long enough! You very finally forced to fight me, and you were beaten! Either sign a contract to a title match with me, or suffer the consequences! -The Plaid Powerhouse. After beating the Feral Frog this week, The "Viking King" Bjorn kept the the "Sweedish Pretzel" (Bjorn's version of the Figure Four Leglock) on him for ten minutes! Bjorn immediately declared that the Frog would NEVER WRESTLE AGAIN! The Frog was carried away from the ring on a stretcher. Johann: Now that I've taken care of Wimp William, it's time to attend to some serious business. There's been a lot of talk lately about who's the strongest wrestler in the WeWF. Now, everybody who's seen me wrestle KNOWS that nobody's stronger than the Great Dane, and now I'm gonna start proving it! Romulan Mauler, Juggernaut, Destruction, and anybody else out there that thinks they're tough enough, get ready to face the Great Dane! Cut to the Mexican Bandit, wearing an outlandish Mil Mascaras style mask as well as a huge sombrero and other South-of-the-Border attire. He speaks (sounding suspiciously like an Australian trying to do a Mexican accent): "Mr Roddy! I guess I showed you that there is no point to you trying to mess with the Doctor Down-Under's Decking Crew! You thought you had proved some kind of point at the Supercard, but no-one can keep me..uh..uh Meester B out of wrestling for long. Soon he will be back from his vacation, which he personally told me on the phone has been very enjoyable, and he will destroy you utterly. He will do this even though you won't have a belt to go after. The Animal and I took care of that!!! Ha Ha Ha Ha Roddy! What is it like to be a LOSER again!?!?!?! In a match vs. the Killer Klowns, the Death Squad turned the tables on the foppish duo in the locker room by standing on their oversize shoes so that they could not escape! They were pummeled without mercy and cut to ribbons with Death's scythe! Their rubber noses were fed to Grimtooth and Fang! The Death Squad's reign of Terror has just begun! Mr Roddy was this week subjected to another vicious sneak attack. As he left his uptown apartment, Roddy was nailed by a lurking Mexican Bandit who proceeded to brutalize the former Africa/Australia Champion with a bullwhip, spurs and a lit cheroot, which he reportedly ground into Roddy's face!! Before making his escape the Bandit used a penknife to carve the letter "B" (presumably for "Bandit"?!?!) into Roddy's forehead. The career of Mugambo Squid has once again been placed in jeopardy following a brutal assault at the hands of Tom "The Animal" Brown. The Squid had just completed an autograph-signing stint for charity at a local hospital for handicapped children, when "The Animal" struck. After slamming Mugambo upside the head with a (full) bedpan, he strapped his helpless victim to a trolley-bed which he sent hurtling out of a second-floor window. Mugambo Squid reportedly suffered deep lacerations from the broken glass, and suspected spinal injuries from the impact. ========= WeWF Wrestling Spotlight ============== JAY: Greetings Fans! Once again, this is 'Crazy Jay' Morgan coming to you with ...Vito Gianelli. Vito, what's on your mind? VITO: I want to let all of those punks to know what's going on. And I'm sure everyone knows who I'm talking about. JAY: You are referring to the Crusher. VITO: OF COURSE I'M TALKING ABOUT THE CRUSHER!!! All of the VITO-maniacs saw you come out from under the ring. And after that distraction, the General put my shoulders to the mat. I don't care about the belt. I just want you in the ring where I can demolish you with more than a simple clothesline. And I know the General wants a piece of the action also, so I'm teaming up with him. So go find anybody you want for partners, because at SUPERCARD2.....YOU GOT TO FINISH WHAT YOU STARTED!!!! (Vito walks off stage) JAY: A very intense Vito Gianelli. Will the Crusher accept this challenge? Stay tuned for details. ========================================= Steroid Centurion: Alright, you punks. Listen up, ever since Action Man put that bomb in my locker, the Chain Gang hasn't been wrestling very effectively. Well, today, that comes to an end. I've been taking these pills for the last week and, baby <FLEX, FLEX, FLEX>, this body's is better than it was before. Yeah...and Action Man, after Mugambo Squid's little crotch-kicking party last week...maybe you'd like to change your name to that of my partner. HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR!!!!!!!!!!! "Amazon" Amy Forrester, seeing that the Chain Gang was losing, threw a high heeled shoe to the Steroid Centurion, who hit Steel with it. However, Flint got behind the Centurion and rolled him up for the pin. "Clever, very clever. Let me see. Where have we seen the initals MB before. Milton Bradley. Yep. But lets put it in terms of wrestling. Oh yeah. The new guy, Mexican Bandit. Yep that fits. But where else. Mr. B. Yep, that probably fits best of all. Well MB. You cost me my title. And now its time for me to cost you something. Your wrestling career."--Mr. Roddy During the match between the Mexican Bandit and Destruction, Tom "The Animal" Brown tried to hit Destruction with a chair, but Destruction ducked, and "the Animal" KO'd his own partner! "Nanook of the North is here, WeWF! I have seen climbed over many wrestlers to be ranked 18th in only two weeks. As I fight more matches, I become more and more familiar with the lay of the land, the tatics of my prey. Soon I will be ready to challenge for the WeWF titles. However, I have also noticed how the WeWF has become overrun with animals. Killer Kangaroo, you were my first prey, not once, but twice last week. Beaver Bernie, you are next. One by one, the animals of the WeWF will fall to my superior tracking and hunting skills!" "They say that money can not buy happiness. They say that money can not buy love. But because I have money, I have all the love and happiness I could every want. Everybody wants money. It's human nature. Flint and Steel, you guys are no different. You guys work hard for your money. And I have a little surprise for you."--Millionaire Flint: Well, Flint and Steel now have two belts, well most people would be happy about that, but I'm not most people, I'm still mad, why am I mad, because Destruction still has my belt, well Destruction I beat you last round, you managed to weasel you way out of a having to defend the belt for that match, you can run but you can't hide and I will continue to hound you until I get that belt back. Steel: Ok, General you were champ for a while, now it's my turn, I know you're going to be coming back after this baby but I'm ready for you, and I'm ready for Destruction, and Juggernaut and Volcano and any one else that is thrown at me, I'm king of the hill now and I'm just waiting for you all to come try and knock me off. Molly: Ok Boys, we got the tag belts now and I know that there are going to be a lot of people trying to knock us off so bring it on, Lightfinger, Stilletto, we're ready for you. Oh and Millionaire we haven't forgotten about you either. The Millionaire has been coming down to ringside during Flint and Steel's matches carrying a duffelbag full of money. He put a $100 bill by each of the 4 corners of the ring and then left ringside. Shocking news has hit the Schofield and Brack wrestling families! Both Crusher Crawford and Rastan have been eliminated from the pro circuit! According to Paul Schofield, aka "Pretty Boy", "Our man was out on the town havin' some fun, wrecking a few bars here than there, the usual stuff. Anyway, some dame slipped him a loaded drink, and got him into a bar fight. Now, normally Crusher coulda handled them, but since he'd been blindsided by that dame, he was getting beat up pretty bad. But that wasn't all they did. They decided to have some fun, and shoved him into the street. The car that hit him is in the shop--they're talking extensive repair costs now. Crusher was lucky--he'll only be in the hospital for 6 months. If I ever find out who did this to him--they'll wish they'd never crossed us! But I bet I know who did it--Brack has to be behind it! In a related venue, Steven Brack, although unavailable for a full interview, said that "Miracle" Rastan, his protege from Tibet, had been attacked by a school of sharks while swimming at Myrtle Beach. He said with pride, however, that only 3 of the 10 sharks survived the attack. Rastan has unfortunately lost partial use of his right arm, and will be unable to return to wrestling for a long time. In response to Schofield's claims, he said, "Why would I need to set Crawford up? My boys can take care of him in the ring without any need to resort to THAT kind of stuff. Besides, we only consider that for IMPORTANT opponents. Oink Zeggpold: Okay, I took care of the Feral Frog. He manage to edge me out for a victory on points, but he's learned his lesson. Next on the list: Johann "Great Dane" Svenson! Green Jean: Hello wrestling fans I'm back and a little upset! I can't believe what my next two guests did to Vito Gianelli on Thursday. It was disgusting and outright inexcusable, but because my job says that I have to interview whoever the President tells me too, I have to introduce these two men, here they are The Intoxicators-BudMan and DiMadMan. (They walk out to the boos of the crowd, and that puts big smiles on their faces.) DiMadMan: Green Jean I want you to keep your big trap shut for a moment while I tell all these morons what The BudMan is going to do to his opponents in the America's Championship Tournament. (At this point BudMan taps DiMadMan on his shoulder than whispers into DiMadMan's ear.) I'm sorry the BudMan would like to tell you himself. BudMan: (The only thigns that come out of his mouth are grunts and moans.) Grunt ugh grunt grunt ugh ugh grunt grunt ugh. (Green Jean and the people looked confused) DiMadMan: What's a matter Green Jean? Green Jean: What do you call that? DiMadMan: Just like a woman, doesn't understand anything. You people are idiots. I'll tell you what he said. He said that everyone in the tournament, especially that punk Gianelli, that's if he can make it better just step back because NOTHING BEATS A BUD! Green Jean: Are you sure that's what he said, I... DiMadMan: Shut up woman! That's exactly what he said and that's all he's got to say. I have something to say though, it concerns Tom "The Mouse Brown. If you don't accept my challange for the Africa/Australia Belt, it's going to prove what a punk you really are, and it will probably result in an incident matching the one with Vito Gianelli. Get my drift...good. You better have, DIG IT!. (DiMadMan and BudMan give Green Jean a look that'll kill than they leave the interview platform yelling at the legion of people that hate them) Green Jean: There goes two of the most disgusting people I Know. I vow never, and I mean NEVER, to interview Smooth or any of his cronies in the Four Corners. Get well Vito because the Four Corners are taking over the WeWF. Let's get back to the WeWF headquarters... "I HAVE ONLY ONE WORD -- K I L L" BART SIMPSON -- YOU'RE IN DEEP DEEP TROUBLE GREEN JEAN OKTOBERFEST: Ladies and gentlemen, by now everyone has seen what went down on This Week In Wrestling involving the Four Corners. With me is Destruction, who has something to say about the events which took place. Destruction, the world wants to know: will you be teaming with Vito Gianelli at the Supercard? (Camera cuts to Destruction, who begins to speak. His voice is very hoarse) DESTRUCTION: Four Corners! You made three big mistakes on TWiW: one: you attacked Vito Gianelli. Two: you attacked me. Three: you didn't get the job done on either of us! Four Corners, you've entered the Disaster Area, and the hour of Destruction is at hand for you and your pathetic pencilneck manager! GREEN JEAN OKTOBERFEST: Destruction, you didn't exactly fare well the last time you ran into the Four Corners...in fact, you can barely speak! We've heard rumors about severe throat injuries, and doctors telling you not to wrestle... DESTRUCTION: I don't wrestle with my throat, Green Jean! But you do have a point. One on one with the Four Corners, no problem. Four on one: possible problem. Vito Gianelli, if you need partners at the Supercard, count me in! If not...well, it may take a little longer, but I _will_ take you out, Four Corners! Plaid Powerhouse, you're first: you want a title shot? Come and get it! You just want to get ugly out in the parking lot? I can do that, too! Four Corners, you're going DOWN! (Destruction leaves, obviously enraged) GREEN JEAN OKTOBERFEST: Wow! Back to you, Babboon! During the match between the Lethal Lemming and AquaDemon, the Feral Frog put acid in AquaDemons water bottle! The Lemming backed AquaDemon into a corner where he Feral Frog strangled him. However, AquaDemon managed to win the match. The Killer Kangaroo attacked BudMan after their match, and attempted to break his arms! The other Four Corners showed up and made the save, however. "THIRD strongest!? THIRD STRONGEST!?!? Well, Robby, you did say you haven't seen enough of me yet to judge, so I suppose that the error is excusable. But I can see that I'm gonna have to show all of you just who the strongest man in the WeWF is: me, Samson Goliath! Steroid Centurion, Juggernaut, and anybody else who thinks he can even compare to me in strength: I challenge you to a powerlifting competition at the Supercard, where I'll prove to everyone that I _am_ Samson Goliath: the World's Strongest Man!" The Violent Vampire bit both The Millionaire and the referee in the neck. >From Incision "Last week we announced our presence to this league and showed what we can do. This week we have a goal, that goal is to shut the Intoxicators up for good. Yes, I'm talking about DiMadMan and BudMan. You guys should've never reared your ugly heads in this league. Look out the Lords will dominate!!!!" "The presence of Feral Frog is requested for a duel of the fists at center ring by I, the ever-so courteous Cap'n Good. Be prepared to fall victim to my almighty hands of justice, as I ring every last drop of underhandedness from each and every fibre of your soul. To ignore this challenge would be your dishonour." "Yo, .... me, that is... Sgt. Happy, want to see you.... the larky leeping lemming rodent type person in the same ring! Don't be late, or I'll find you and drag you in by your short and curlies!!!" "So as not to dilute the potential fortitude of your combined strengths, both I, Cap'n Good, and my faithful compatriot, Sgt. Happy, shall join forces as the Righteous, and insist on meeting both of you as the Leaping Lords in fierce but fair bodily combat.... Please do not make us chase you.... That would be embarassing for us all." Strike Eagle again interfered with a vengeance, this time in a Romulan Mauler match! The Mauler was getting the best of his man, when Strike Eagle came up the aisle with a flamethrower!! Strike Eagle torched the Mauler so bad, that he was rushed to the NYC St. Elizabeth's Burn Center. He is reported in good condition, with his eyebrows singed off... The Chaotic Corner As the lights come on, sitting in a semi-circle are, from left to right, AquaDemon, WindWarrior, Dr.Chaos, FireLord, and TerraDoom. Dr. Chaos: Welcome to the first installment of the Chaotic Corner, the only show to devote itself strickly to Myself and my wrestlers. Now, I am giving a formal challenge to any of you sniveling pieces of trash out there, for the WeWF's first 10-man tag. I will come out of retirement and help my elementals defeat any foe, whomever they may be. Some supercard in the future would be the best time to have it. I bet they're too scared to accept the challenge, right? AquaDemon: Yeah! WindWarrior: Hell Yeah! FireLord: Of Course they are! They'd have to face me!!! TerraDoom: Word To Your Mutha! Dr.Chaos: On another note, this upcoming 8-man tag with the Swines of Discipline is an insult. Such worthless, unexperienced drivel thinks they can tangle with the most experienced group of wrestlers in the WeWF. It looks like you pigs are going to be taught not to mess with ADULTS. I have formally entered a complaint with the WeWF president, about his one wrestler per manager rule for the upcoming Americas tournament. If he had not instated such a ridiculous rule, THREE out of my four wrestlers would be in the tournament. Such bias will not stand with me. Palmer watch what you do. It could be DEADly. FireLord: It looks like Serf Roderick is still using my name. You were the one who started the Lord crap. Then everyone jumped on the bandwagon. We melted the Leaping Lords and I beat your sorry little ass, to keep the name. You have gone beack on your word and you will surely pay. I give you 1 week to change your name. Else, I will see that you will never have another peaceful day ever. Virus, you must think your really hot SH*T now that your at the top. Just remember boy, one of your 3 losses was to me. If I need to I will bash your head once again. Three Times Chaos: We would like to have another six-man tag with Jug and the boys. But first, Dr. Bong will have to be punished. Dr. Bong, watch for us at your matches!!! Dr.Chaos:That's all for this week's edition of the Chaotic Corner. No one can Stop the Elementals!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sneak Attack --- During the Max Altitude and "beastmaster" Gunter Wilson match Pain and a mysterious masked wrestler attacked Dr. Pain at ringside. Distracted by the assault, Wilson went out to aid his manager. Max knocks out the ref, pulls an international object from his boot and rakes Wilson forehead with it filling his eyes with blood. The mysterious wrestler, then revives the ref for Max to obtain the pin..... When asked for the identity of the mystery wrestler, Max replies "His name is Venom. Now get out of my way or you'll find out why..." Lar Gand has seen the appearance of someone dressed as Glorith at his wrestling matches!! When he approached, the person turned and fled faster than he could catch up. Who is THIS mysterious woman? Baboon: Baboon Tempest here! I'm at the swank penthouse suite of manager J.R. Brandt, where Ultra Boy and Lar Gand, the Legion of Super Wrestlers, have been training in double sessions since their poor showing last week as a team and individually. Here's J.R. himself. Brandt: Humph! Pretty embarassing for the boys it was, losing like that falling so low in the standings. Unprecedented! Of course, they've both been under a lot of pressure ever since that Lightfinger incident. Poor Lar! He's getting better though. It helps that he has such a strong role model in Ultra Boy. He's in the training room right now, with his coach Marlboro Latham. You're welcome to go in and speak to them. Baboon: And Lar Gand? Brandt: No, Lar is still not ready to face the media. After that incident last week, when he went after Lightfinger again... Baboon: Yes, good save that, on Ultra Boy's part. Thank you R.J. Brandt: Sure, sure. Baboon: Here we are in the training room of the Legion of Super Wrestlers. Wow! Most impressive. The room is filled with gleaming weight machines. The smallest weight tolerance seen on any of the machines is one thousand pounds. Ultra Boy is lying on the floor in his fighting togs, one arm pulled behind his back by a white haired gentleman dressed very much like Ultra Boy, who also has his knee in his back. Ultra Boy looks pained. Baboon: Marlboro Latham I presume? Latham [the white haired gentleman]: That's right, you Spidermonkey Tempest? Baboon: That's Baboon... Latham: Sure, Lemur, sure. I was just demonstrating to Ultra Boy here what weak, spineless jellyfish he's let himself become. Aren't you Ultra Boy? You are worthless, weak, uninspired and can't even take care of your own tag team partner. You oughtta go beggin' back to little Ricky Schroeder to take you back... Baboon: I don't think it wise to refer to Rick Schroeder as Ricky anymore. This afternoon... Latham: Yeah right, Chimpo. Let me finish our training session here [tightens grip on Ultra Boy's arm] Now, where were we? Oh yes, how weak and worthless you are. You think you can face the Virus this week? Hah! You... Ultra Boy's face has been turning purple with anger. This is quite garish with his green and orange uniform. With a roar of outrage he throws Marlboro off of his back and into some of the weight equipment with a mighty Bang! He turns with the grace of a feral tiger and pounces on Marlboro with a terrible elbow smash to the chest. Then Ultra Boy picks him up and hurls him into the wall to wall mirror that the Legion of Super Wrestlers use to practice flexing, smashing it to pieces. Marlboro lies in a bloody heap. Tears of joy run down his face. Latham: That's the boy I taught to be a wrestler! You were losing your edge, lad. That's why I was harping on you like that. You should squash the Virus flat! Ultra Boy grins and helps Marlboro Latham up. They limp over to the massage table, where Marlboro lies down. Baboon: Mr. Latham! Are you all right? I... I... Latham: I've never been better, Orangotang. With Ultra Boy back in fighting trim, and Lar Gand beginning to concentrate on his career again, the Legion of Super Wrestlers should come back in spades after their temporary setback. Ultra Boy: That's right! I'm going to crush the Virus this time, like a bug! We're not even going to acknowledge Lightfinger's tactics anymore. If he wants to fight us, it will have to be in the ring. Voices are heard from an adjoing room. Dr. Gym'll: No! No! Not the crystal! If you're going to do that, at least use those Burger King wrestling glasses that we bought you! Lar: But I love those glasses, especially Juggernaut! My hero... The sound of crushing crystal is heard, then chewing noises. Baboon: I thought that Lar was getting better. Ultra Boy? Ultra Boy's eyes flash. He stands up and looks threateningly at Baboon, but Marlboro places a hand on his shoulder to restrain him. Ultra Boy sighes and calms down. Ultra: He is Baboon. It's just that he is mad at Robbie the Lame not placing him in the top five for strength. He can bend steel bars fingers! It's lucky we haven't been letting him out of the penthouse unescorted. He was going to go finish what the Romulan Mauler started. [winks at the camera for Mauler's benefit] Baboon: I see. Well thank you Ultra Boy and Marlboro Latham for your time. The Romulan Mauler and Klingon Phaser, dressed as orderlies, penetrated David Lightfinger's hospital room and bombed him with hand grenades. Dr Down-Under speaks: "At last it has been established beyond all reasaonable doubt! All Americans are pussies!!! I came to the WeWF with my Down-Under Decking Crew and we cleeeeaaned HOUSE!! Tom "The Animal" Brown, the feared streetfighter, has captured the Africa/Australia Title after only 2 weeks, and Mr Roddy has been shown up as the mealy-mouthed piece of dogsh*t that he really is. In five weeks, the glorious Mr B will return and take not only Roddy's life in the ring, but the Americas title as well! Action Man will throw off his shackles, and rid the WeWF of Mugambo Squid once and for all, and then all of the Continental titles will be in Australian hands. We will rule the world of wrestling with an iron fist and end the careers of any and all who oppose us." In a match vs. BudMan, Death clotheslined him with his new scythe! He then bounced him out of the ring into the waiting jaws of Grimtooth and Fang, the evil Rottweilers of the Hellhound Rick Schroeder. They feasted upon him heartily before he could climb back into the ring. The rest of the Four Corners tried to rescue BudMan, but The Hellhound Rick Schroeder was there to fend them off, single handedly! His use of his spiked collar was fierce, puncturing DiMadMan! "Masked Marvel, you want to challenge me to a best of 7 series of matches. Well, I accept. But then you want to become tag-team partners. That's where I have some trouble. You see, I cant team with somebody I cant trust. And I haven't forgotten about a certain shooting incedent. Your time in the WeWF is limited."--Lord Roderick After his match with the Beserker, the Feral Frog picked up ref and breaks ref's neck. The Violent vampire then came in and drank the blood. After the match between Mr. Roddy and the Mexican Bandit, Mr. Roddy went crazy and started attacking MB with everything he could get his hands on. Chairs, the ringside bell, ringside table. It took the combined efforts of Lord Roderick and Keith Skar to get Mr. Roddy back to the locker room. Up