UEFL From: jbillone@jarthur.Claremont.EDU (Jeremy Billones) Date: Sat, 09 Mar 1991 23:45:50 +0000 As Yet Unnamed Division Newsletter Session G CURRENT STANDINGS LP Name W L T GF GA CP TP Cash 32 BOTH Grand Slam 15 4 2 82 20 7 3 585 31 BOTH Ajax Amsterdam 14 4 3 50 20 10 5 480 27 EB Quarrymen 12 6 3 71 28 1.5 3 893 26 BOTH Beirut Blast 11 6 4 47 31 5.5 3 336 22 Entropy Raiders 10 9 2 66 54 1.5 4 539 19 Uaxactun Tiburones 9 11 1 45 45 3 3 842 18 SC Lions 8 11 2 43 50 1.5 5 1081 17 Valkeries 8 12 1 50 76 3.5 3 161 15 Flying Circus 7 13 1 40 54 3.5 3 821 3 EB Davis Red Hawks 1 19 1 5 122 1.5 9 830 ----- Fines ----- The Flying Circus fielded a suspended player in one match. The player was deleted from his lineup. $10K fine. ----- Press ----- The Grand Slam hopes that Ajax has dominated the Quarrymen...or tied them, or for that matter lost to them... either way, the Grand Slam is happy! ;') Manager Ingram of the Beirut Blast entered his weekly press conference with a beaming smile and this opening statement, "What a session! 2-0-1 record with a tough win on the road against the Raiders. After last session's gripping failure, I have to say I'm starting to gain a little more confidence in the team. We're all going out to celebrate after I take your questions." Asked about the recent incident in Beirut during halftime of the match against the Valkeries, Ingram replied, "Oh yeah, we thought that would get their attention." During the halftime show, an unknown assailant came charging out of the stands with a semi- automatic weapon, running straight for the mascot, Blaster Burke. Ingram has prepared his mascot for such an occurence, however, and Burke was saved by retracting himself into his armor-plated shell. After securing himself, Burke proceeded to rumble toward the assailant, attempting to roll over him and squash him to a bloody pulp. The assailant escaped the field of play, and afterwards, Blaster Burke could not be found for comment. Ingram, however, was available, "Yeah, scared the hell out of that jerk. We got a call later from some anonymous PLO representative claiming that the IRA was responsible for the attack, but then an IRA guy called later to say the reverse. It's a bad situation, but you can bet Burke's protection will be beefed up in the future no matter how well he can take care of himself. Do you realize how tough it is to get blood stains out of the interior of that costume?" ----- Trades ----- Safety in Numbers signs free agent Mama Cas (MF). Beirut Blast cuts George Schultz (MF). Amdahl United trades Notinda Gole (SW) and O.I. Gumby (FW) to Moonshine by Urn for Lady Jane Grey (FW) and Jessica Moat (MF/DF). ----- Auction Results ----- Bidders Winner Bid Name 1)GK/II/14 2 GS 400 Mike Tyson 2)GK/I/10 2 V 435 B. Feris 3)FW/0/4 5 ER 150 Bingo Miller ----- Free Agents ----- 1)FW/III/13 2)SW/0/3 3)DF/0/0 Session H: Early Bird Deadline is Friday, March 8th. Final Deadline is Wednesday, March 13th. ============================================================================== Match 19 ============================================================================== Entropy Raiders vs Quarrymen 5 - 4 10- 8 Onan (1) Rigby (bk) Wat (RC) Slatkin (bk) Toe (1;bk) Shears (1) Spike (3) Robert (3) Cont (bk) ============================================================================== Valkeries vs Ajax Amsterdam 2 - 7 2 - 7 Epikur (1) Lerby (1) Kant (1) Wilkes (3) Kieft (2) Bosman (1) ============================================================================== SC Lions vs Beirut Blast 0 - 4 0 - 8 Pilnar (bk) Nuisance (1) Qaddafi (bk) Chang (1) Begin (1) Gemayel (1) ============================================================================== Uaxactun Tiburones vs Grand Slam 0 - 3 0 - 5 Rogers (bk) Gilbert (1) Dietzche (bk) Borg (1) Mecir II (1) ============================================================================== Flying Circus vs Davis Red Hawks 2 - 0 4 - 0 D. Vercotti (1) Hilter (1) ============================================================================== Match 20 ============================================================================== Quarrymen vs Valkeries 3 - 4 8 - 6 Raccoon (1;bk) Canaeda (3) P. Mustard (2) Epiktet (1) ============================================================================== Ajax Amsterdam vs SC Lions 0 - 0 0 - 0 Osgood (bk) ============================================================================== Beirut Blast vs Entropy Raiders 1 - 0 1 - 0 Chang (1) ============================================================================== Davis Red Hawks vs Uaxactun Tiburones 1 -10 1 -15 Bonatello (1) Dietzche (1) Buschmann (1) Waite (3) Crosby (2) Andre (3;bk) ============================================================================== Grand Slam vs Flying Circus 2 - 0 7 - 0 Pernfors (2) L. Vercotti (bk) McGoering (bk) ============================================================================== Match 21 ============================================================================== Quarrymen vs Ajax Amsterdam 1 - 3 2 - 3 Madonna (bk) Van Hanegem (1) Albell (bk) Wouters (1) Mae (1) Blind (1) Raccoon (bk) Martin (bk) ============================================================================== Valkeries vs Beirut Blast 3 - 3 6 - 6 Epikur (1) Harta (2) Epiktet (2) I. Hussein (bk) Peres (1) ============================================================================== SC Lions vs Uaxactun Tiburones 0 - 1 0 - 1 Pilnar (bk) Phelan (1) ============================================================================== Grand Slam vs Davis Red Hawks 8 - 0 12- 0 Gomez (2) Edberg (1) Borg (1) Pernfors (1) Cleves (3) ============================================================================== Flying Circus vs Entropy Raiders 3 - 0 3 - 0 Wall (1) Harvey (bk) Jones (1) Palin (1) ============================================================================== (bk) indicates booked (4 DP) (RC) indicates sent off (10DP) [Inj;???] indicates injury by type (#) indicates # of goals scored Referenced By Up