WeWF Report #17 From: arxt@quads.uchicago.edu (Aidan Palmer) Date: Mon, 29 Apr 1991 02:17:30 +0000 WeWF Report #17 4/21/91 No Belts Change Hands! Once again Frank Steel took on and beat all of his challengers, except his partner "Irish" Mike Flint. All three Continental Champions hung onto their belts, so Steel will face much the same opposition next week. Flint and Steel held onto their tag team titles again this week, despite the Highlanders coming close to taking the belts away from them. Apocalypse Now won their title matches to remain champions, beating even the Ultimate Union! Bjorn "the Sweedish Pretzel" Wins Battle Royal! Bjorn "the Sweedish Pretzel" won the Team Challenge Series Battle Royal! In the end he overcame Flint and Steel, although he had some help, and eliminated them both! This week he beat Mike Flint. Could he be the next World Champ? More Supercard Matches Signed! The Thunder Brothers and the Steel Monkeys have signed for a three falls match; Sour Krout and Slimm will wrestle each other; the Steroid Centurion and Samson Goliath will go at it in a special cage match; the Dynamic Machine will take on the other two members of the Chain Gang; and Amazon Amy and Molly Maguire will wrestle on the 30th! I'm looking for help in writing this Supercard, if you want to write up a match for it, let me know! New TWIW Editor! Mike DiMattei has taken over as TWIW editor, so send all TWIW submissions to him at V220PW77@UBVMS.BITNET (there's a non-bitnet address too, check the last TWIW). Title Match Protocol I'd like to thank everyone who put title challenges on one line! It makes it much easier to send out the title challenges! Please put the current title holder's name, not the belt name so that I can get all the challenges in one swipe. Thank you! Send me your matches and comments by 4/28/91! Matches This Week: World Title: Frank Steel barely pinned the Re-Animator. Frank Steel and "Irish" Mike Flint fought to a time-limit draw. Frank Steel pinned DiMadMan. Frank Steel barely pinned Virus. Frank Steel beat the General. Tag Team Titles: Flint and Steel beat Chaos Personified. Flint and Steel barely pinned the Highlanders. Flint and Steel beat the Maniacs. Continental Titles: The Re-Animator pinned TerraDoom. The Re-Animator pinned Mathie Man Riemann Savage. The Re-Animator dominated the Millionaire. "Irish" Mike Flint dominated AquaDemon. "Irish" Mike Flint beat Master. "Irish" Mike Flint annihilated Sasquatch. DiMadMan beat Klingon Disrupter. DiMadMan beat Mr. Roddy. The Big Kahuna beat DiMadMan by DQ. Individual Matches: The General and the Neutralizer fought to a time-limit draw. The Plaid Powerhouse pinned the General. The General dominated Samson Goliath. The General annihilated Galactus. Judge Anderson survived the General. Ahpook the Destroyer survived Thanos. Ahpook the Destroyer survived Darkseid the Destroyer. Venom beat Ahpook the Destroyer. The Savage dominated Ahpook the Destroyer. Sour Krout pinned the General. Virus survived Sour Krout. Sour Krout beat Mr. Roddy. Sour Krout pinned the Crusher. The Plaid Powerhouse dominated Johann "Great Dane" Svenson, a Loser Licks Boots. The Plaid Powerhouse destroyed Sgt. Happy. The Secret Agent Man survived Skrog the Marauder's Dragon (1st match). Wizard dominated Sasquatch. Master survived Sasquatch. Judge Anderson destroyed Sasquatch. Sgt. Happy pinned Sasquatch. The Grim Reaper pinned Johann "Great Dane" Svenson. "Irish" Mike Flint pinned BudMan. BudMan beat the Secret Agent Man. The Savage pinned WindWarrior. Virus pinned the Savage. The Crusher barely pinned Mathie Man Riemann Savage. Skrog the Marauder's Dragon beat Galactus. Skrog the Marauder's Dragon destroyed the Berserker. The Grim Reaper pinned Skrog the Marauder's Dragon. Khan Noonian Singh survived Skrog the Marauder's Dragon. The Secret Agent Man survived Skrog the Marauder's Dragon (2nd match). The Re-Animator pinned FireLord. DiMadMan pinned WindWarrior. Botswanan Basher survived Sasquatch. Botswanan Basher destroyed Cap'n Good. The Big Kahuna dominated Vito Gianelli. The Big Kahuna annihilated Galactus. Malibu annihilated Cap'n Good. Malibu dominated Sgt. Happy. The Secret Agent Man destroyed Doug "Crusher" Corey. The Frozen Caveman dominated Doug "Crusher" Corey. Samson Goliath dominated Doug "Crusher" Corey. Galactus pinned Doug "Crusher" Corey. Sgt. Happy destroyed Doug "Crusher" Corey. Judge Dredd barely pinned Khan Noonian Singh. Judge Dredd pinned Thanos. Judge Dredd pinned Darkseid the Destroyer. Ferro Lad pinned Mort Rue, the Merciless. BudMan destroyed Lar Gand. The Re-Animator annihilated Mort Rue, the Merciless. The Romulan Mauler survived the Flying Dutchman. The Flying Dutchman beat Juggernaut. The Flying Dutchman barely pinned FireLord. The Flying Dutchman barely pinned WindWarrior. The Flying Dutchman barely pinned TerraDoom. WindWarrior pinned the Dutch Hooligan. FireLord pinned the Dutch Hooligan. The Savage beat the Dutch Hooligan. The Dutch Hooligan survived Skrog the Marauder's Dragon. Sour Krout dominated the Dutch Hooligan. Thorin barely pinned Guardian. Jimmy Carbon barely pinned Lokis. Jimmy Carbon barely pinned TerraDoom. FireLord dominated Thorin. Bjorn "the Sweedish Pretzel" survived "Irish" Mike Flint in a Steel Cage match. Bjorn "the Sweedish Pretzel" barely pinned Virus. The Neutralizer dominated Vito Gianelli. The Neutralizer annihilated the Berserker. The Neutralizer barely pinned the Grim Reaper. The Neutralizer dominated Darth Vader in a Steel Cage match. The Neutralizer destroyed Sasquatch. Venom beat Vito Gianelli. AquaDemon beat Vito Gianelli. Virus barely pinned the Re-Animator. Virus destroyed Darkseid the Destroyer. Venom dominated Ferro Lad. Max Altitude dominated Sasquatch. Mr. Roddy barely pinned Mr. B. Venom dominated Master. Wizard annihilated the Berserker. Wizard dominated Lar Gand. The Romulan Mauler beat Darth Vader. The Romulan Mauler beat Khan Noonian Singh. Slimm and Death fought to a time limit draw. Slimm beat Mr. Fujikuchi. Death barely pinned Master. Destruction barely pinned Klingon Disrupter. The Grim Reaper survived Destruction. DiMadMan dominated Death. "Irish" Mike Flint dominated Destruction. The Re-Animator dominated the Iron Madman. The Re-Animator dominated Samson Goliath. Tag Team Matches: The Highlanders barely pinned the Steel Monkeys in a Steel Cage match. Flint and Steel barely pinned the Highlanders. Flint and Steel pinned the Intoxicators (1st match). Flint and Steel annihilated The Chain Gang. Flint and Steel survived the Intoxicators in a Taped Fist match (2nd match). The Law barely pinned the Exterminators. The Exterminators pinned Sword and Shield. RnR pinned Heaven's Best. The Legion of Super Wrestlers barely pinned Heaven's Best. Fire and Ice pinned Heaven's Best. The Maniacs barely pinned the BattleCruisers. The Maniacs barely pinned the Righteous. The Maniacs beat Fire and Ice. The Maniacs beat the Legion of Super Wrestlers. The BattleCruisers beat RnR. The Law beat the New Gods. The Dynamic Machine barely pinned the Class of 2964. The Legion of Super Wrestlers and the Chain Gang fought to a time-limit draw. The Highlanders pinned the Thunder Brothers. The New Gods dominated the Chain Gang. The BattleCruisers beat the Chain Gang. Flint and Steel pinned the Terror Technicians. The Highlanders destroyed RnR. Flint and Steel dominated Death and Destruction. The Law destroyed Lord Roderick and the Masked Marvel. Six Man Matches: Capital Punishment beat the Bermuda Triangle. Apocalypse Now barely pinned the Union Shop. The Union Shop beat the Abattoir. Capital Punishment pinned Sword, Shield, and Axe. Apocalypse Now dominated Sword, Shield, and Axe. The Abattoir dominated Sword, Shield, and Axe in a Steel Cage match. Capital Punishment beat the Chain Gang 3. WeWF Wrestler Rankings World Champion: Frank Steel (68-17-2) Tag Team Champions: Flint and Steel (45-13-1) Americas Champion: The Re-Animator (23-4-2) Eurasia Champion: "Irish" Mike Flint (44-21-2) Africa/Australia Champion: DiMadMan (28-10-1) Six-Man Champions: Apocalypse Now (7-0) 1. Virus (38-11) 2. Mr. Roddy (43-27-2) 3. The General (50-30-1) 4. The Romulan Mauler (26-7-1) 5. BudMan (26-9-1) 6. The Crusher (36-21) 7. The Neutralizer (39-26-4) 8. The Flying Dutchman (37-26-2) 9. FireLord (32-21-1) 10. AquaDemon (18-8) 11. WindWarrior (20-13-1) 12. The Plaid Powerhouse (17-10) 13. The Savage (11-4) 14. Sour Krout (9-2) 15. Venom (9-2-1) 16. TerraDoom (18-12) 17. Ahpook the Destroyer (9-3) 18. Bjorn "the Sweedish Pretzel" (19-14-1) 19. Judge Dredd (9-4-1) 20. Juggernaut (32-28-1) 21. Destruction (27-23) 22. Max Altitude (7-4) 23. The Big Kahuna (3-0) 24. Wizard (3-0) 25. The Millionaire (14-12-1) 26. Malibu (2-0) 27. The Botswanan Basher (2-0) 28. Dutch Hooligan (18-17) 29. Skrog the Marauder's Dragon (11-10) 30. The Secret Agent Man (3-2) 31. Slimm (1-0-1) 32. Mathie Man Riemann Savage (4-4) 33. Judge Anderson (3-4) 34. Khan Noonian Singh (2-3) 35. Klingon Disrupter (1-2) 36. Thanos (1-2) 37. The Frozen Caveman (4-6-1) 38. Master (1-3) 39. The Iron Madman (0-2) 40. Mr. B (6-9-1) 41. Ferro Lad (2-5) 42. Darkseid the Destroyer (1-4) 43. Death (1-4-1) 44. Mr. Fujikuchi (3-7) 45. Darth Vader (0-4) 46. Vito Gianelli (18-26-1) 47. The Grim Reaper (3-8) 48. Mort Rue, the Merciless (0-5) 49. Sgt. Happy (3-9) 50. Lar Gand (8-15) 51. Samson Goliath (5-12) 52. Galactus (4-11) 53. The Berserker (4-13) 54. Doug "Crusher" Corey (10-22) 55. Johann "Great Dane" Svenson (6-18) 56. Cap'n Good (1-14) 57. Sasquatch (4-24-1) Tag Teams: 1. The Maniacs (26-16) Maniac #1 and Maniac #2 2. The Terror Technicians (15-5) Pain and Virus 3. The Intoxicators (13-5-1) BudMan and DiMadMan 4. The Law (9-3) Judge Dredd and Judge Anderson 5. The Dynamic Machine (16-13-1) Juggernaut and Black Tiger 6. The Exterminators (9-6) The Enforcer and the Law Maker 7. New Gods (5-2) Thanos and Darkseid the Destroyer 8. The Highlanders (13-11) Bjorn and the Plaid Powerhouse 9. The Thunder Brothers (3-3) Thorin and Lokis 10. Sword and Shield (9-10) Jake Shield and Angus Campbell 11. BattleCruisers (3-4) Romulan Mauler and Klingon Disrupter 12. Class of 2964 (3-4) Val Amorr and Ferro Lad 13. Death and Destruction (0-2) Death and Destruction 14. Steel Monkeys (0-2) Monkey #1 and Monkey #2 15. Chaos Personified (0-3) AquaDemon and FireLord 16. Heaven's Best (0-3) Michael and Raphael 17. Fire and Ice (7-14-1) Volcano and the Iceman 18. The Righteous (1-8) Cap'n Good and Sgt. Happy 19. The Legion of Super Wrestlers (7-15-1)Ultra Boy and Lar Gand 20. The Chain Gang (12-21-1) The Steroid Centurion and the Eunuch 21. RnR (4-16-1) Lord Roderick and Mr. Roddy Six-Man Teams: 1. The Abattoir (5-3) 2. Capital Punishment (3-1) 3. The Union Shop (2-2) 4. The Superstars (4-5) 5. Sword, Shield, and Axe (2-5) 6. Bermuda Triangle (0-1) 7. The Down-Under Decking Crew (0-1) 8. The Chain Gang 3 (0-3) Did Not Compete: Action Man (3-2) Albert Turing (7-10) Bart Simpson (10-27-2) Black Tiger (14-10-1) "Crusher" Cootus (3-4) The Eradicator (4-2-1) George Bush (16-18) Grunk the Barbarian (1-2) The Hit 'N' Run Rabbi (6-1) The Iceman (15-20) Lord Roderick (21-30-3) Nanook of the North (20-24) Pain (10-15-1) The Salivating Sadducee (5-6) Tom "the Animal" Brown (15-9) Ultra Boy (16-18) Val Amorr (1-4) "Viking" William (11-18-2) Volcano (36-35-1) Alpha and Omega (10-6) The Bruise Brothers (1-3) Chilled Fury (0-2) O.S.E. (6-1) The Surfer Alliance Comments The Romulan Mauler challenges all the singles wrestlers in the WeWF to an Iron Man tournament, to be held at the April supercard. This kind of tournament only involves 4 men, so hurry up in your answers! If you are interested, write to u1684@jsp.umontreal.ca or laramee@iro.umontreal.ca to notify Admiral Chekov. Ahpook the Destroyer stands alone in front of the camera. "I have fought many battles here in the WeWF. I have won many battles. Isn't there any one in the WeWF that can call himself a man? If there is, I challenge him to a battle in the ring, in a cage, in a pit, or in Hell itself. If there isn't, prepare to be conquered." Flint: Well Frank we got the tag-team belts back around our waists, sorry that you couldn't keep them very long, Intoxicators, but they just didn't look very good on you, and we really couldn't have a bunch of overweight punk slobs representing the WeWF as the Tag Team champions, ya know everyone seems to think that the Four corners are pretty tough but you guys haven't been giving us much trouble at all. I guess after you've worked in the mines or the mills for a couple of years, you get a different idea of just what tough really is. Steel: General, you asked for a no DQ match and I gave it to you, and you lost, that's right, you lost, two weeks ago you won by DQ when Mickey hit you, sure I was out in the middle of the ring but not because of your feeble attempt at a superplex but because of you choking me with that STUPID red sweater that you always have, and the only reason that you got away with that was your buddy "The Shark" was distracting the ref with his towel. General, you're a good wrestler but things won't always go your way, I'll keep fighting you as long as you are the #2 contender, but I've never hid behind the rules and I don't plan on it now, you had you shot at a no DQ match and you lost it, so keep coming at me, and General get that friend of yours some sun, he looks like a damn corpse. Molly: Amazon Amy, you think that you are so tough, it's hard to believe that your boys could beat up anybody, but I guess Ned Harley is probably the one person that the chain gang could beat up. Well, Amy you've challenged Flint and Steel to a supercard match, why not, we always enjoy beating up on those pukes, but Amy lets go one better, before the Flint and Steel, Chain Gang match how about you and me in a cage, just the two of us and a pair of hair clippers, you don't get out until you opponent is bald, are you up for it Amy. By the way the guys from Heaven Devil's said to say hi and that the next time you have someone dropped off there to stop in you self, they haven't broken any limbs in a long time and they figure that if any of your boys had the guts to go into the bar that they could have lots of fun. The Secret Agent Man continues to investigate other strange items in and out of the WeWF, so YOU BETTER START LIVIN' THE STRAIGHT AND NARROW, 'CAUSE IF THE SECRET AGENT MAN FINDS OUT, YOU DON'T WANNA KNOW ABOUT IT! Camera shot of Sasquatch in front of woodland scene, wearing fur jacket and animal-leather trousers: 'I am Sasquatch...many of you may know me as the WORST wrestler in the WEWF: I therefore put forward this challenge: For the upcoming Supercard I will wrestle any AND all comers...are you game, Iceman? Volcano? I dumped my manager...he was cramping my style, and I challenge YOU to take me on... Camera pulls back, fades. During the Re-Animator's match with Frank Steel, the Butcher handed the Re-Animator a meat tenderizer to hit Steel over the head. Baboon: Ladies and gentlemen, I have with me today Johann "Great Dane" Svenson! (Johann walks out on stage, to cheers from the crowd) Baboon: Great Dane, you're one of the four wrestlers who have agreed to team up with the Elementals against the Four Corners and the Abattoir at the next SuperCard! One of the guys on the other team is an old sparring partner of yours... Johann: Oh, yes, Bjorn "the Sweedish Pretzel". When we first locked up, Bjorn, we fought one on one, and I respected your abilities as a wrestler. Then, at SuperCard 1, you realized that you couldn't beat me without help from your friends, and your slimy manager; but you were still a good wrestler, so I wasn't too unhappy about losing, even when I should have won. Then, Bjorn, along comes SuperCard 2, and the War Games match. I pounded you from one ring to the other. You felt the power of the Great Dane, the agony of Loki's Legbuster, the fury of the dreaded Flying Battleaxe! And all the time, Bjorn, I'm thinking "What happened to the Viking King? What happened to the man who gave me the toughest match of my career?" It wasn't until I watched the tapes, Bjorn, that I saw it: every time you were in trouble, one of your friends rushed over to help you! Joining the Four Corners has made you weak, Bjorn! You're relying on them, instead of digging deep down and finding the intestinal fortitude, the toughness, the sheer guts that let you battle back in SuperCard 1! Now, SuperCard 3 rolls along, and you've found even more guys to watch your back and save your butt. You've become a weakling, Bjorn! Baboon: A serious accusation to make against a man who's held the Americas title - Johann: Yeah, well, I guess Bjorn cares more about winning titles than about his own pride. So remember, Bjorn, I don't respect you any more. I know, that as soon as the going gets tough inside that Triple Dome of Terror, you'll be screaming for your pals to help you. Well, let me promise you something, Bjorn. I'm not leaving that Dome until I've fought you, and beat you, one-on-one. Even if I have to go through all your buddies, if I have to tear down the Four Corners and bury the Abattoir, we're gonna settle this once and for all! And what are you gonna do, Bjorn, when I bring the Abattoir, the Four Corners, and the Triple Dome of Terror crashing down around your ears?! (Johann brandishes his battle-axe as the crowd cheers) Baboon: Looks like another old feud will be resolved at the next SuperCard! Now, let's go back to ringside... During the title match between Disrupter and DiMadMan, the Romulan Mauler came to ringside and splashed DiMadMan with Romulan Ale to distract him and allow Disrupter to roll him up for the pin. DiMadMan recovered and kicked out. Heaven's Best: "We're gonna send you Devil-loving scum back were you came from!" Botswanan Basher coats himself in blood before a match to gain the power of the otherworld. During the taped fist match Smooth will handed BudMan a roll of quarters to use on his opponents. This is Thorin and Lokis. We accept your puny challenge, Steel Monkeys. We shall prove to the WeWF that, once and for all, no one can withstand the hammer and the anvil of the Thunder Brothers! You shall tremble like a reed before our wrath! You will quake in fear at the elemental forces unleashed against you! You shall feel the power of my wind! Enough, brother! They get the point! But soon, they will have first hand knowledge of our capabilities. They shall be watching their backs, to beware of my trickery! They shall keep their lights on at night, to ward off any "visitors"! They will know the TRUE meaning of fear! ======== WeWF Wrestling Spotlight ========== JAY: Ok, Fans! Crazy Jay Morgan here once again. This time with the Chain Gang. First...let's talk about the events of last week. NED: Heh-heh-heh. You gotta love that. The boss sure had a good idea with that one. JAY: And what about my esteemed colleague's report at the scene. NED: Heh-heh-heh. Yeah, ol' Big Fred sure can tell them stories. Ask him about how he saved his platoon during the war using a broken shovel and a can of C-rations. Or how he once gave a ride to a hitch-hiking Frank Sinatra. Yeah, I think we all know what ol' Big Fred was after. JAY: Are you saying....? NED: Yep. Old Oktoberfest probably knew about it too. Hell, he wasn't nick-named Big Fred for nothin' Heh-heh-heh (NUDGES JAY AS HE LAUGHS) JAY:(Changing the subject) Moving right along....Steroid Centurion. A direct challenge by Samson Goliath. What's your response? SC: You know, Crazy Jay, with Supercard coming, the CHUMPS have been crawling out of the wood-work to take a shot at THE CHAIN GANG. <FLEX> <FLEX> I've got no problem with the match. However, I'm not the manager. JAY: Well, then let's get the manager's opinion on this.... UNIK: (Grabs the microphone, Shouts in his soprano voice..causing agony to dogs several miles away) No, Let's get The EUNUCH's opinion! And the Eunuch is telling the so- called Secret Agent Man to listen a bit closer to his song, this line right here, cause the Eunuch will make sure that he '...won't live to see tomorrow.' <skip> '...won't live to see tomorrow.' <skip> '...won't live to see tomorrow.' <skip> (Throws record player on the floor and starts destroying it.) Your phony stories won't help you out. You think you can find secrets. Well, we just found a tape of your old KGB instructor. (CROWD GASPS) That's right, the KGB. Roll it. (A scene from a famous Bullwinkle cartoon appears on screen) BORIS: Maybe now we should keel moose. (CROWD ERUPTS INTO LAUGHTER) JAY: (Trying hard to suppress the laughter) Uh...uh....heh...um..Ok, ok, ok (Regains composure) Alright, now let's try to get a few words from the manager, 'Amazon' Amy Forrester. AMY: (Smiling, obviously still thinking about the Bullwinkle reference) Crazy Jay, You know that witch Maguire has been a thorn in my side ever since I brought the Chain Gang to the WeWF. She's afraid, Crazy Jay. She knows I can get the best wrestlers...She knows that I'm the better manager. And I'll promise you this...The Chain Gang has got more in store for those goons she calls wrestlers. JAY: And I'm sure that's a promise that we can take to the bank. Alright. This is Crazy Jay Morgan saying..... "I'm outta here..." =========================================== Simon Bolendorf: "Look at that, Maniacs! The tag team champions are afraid to accept our challenges! Could this mean they're afraid of losing their belts?" Maniac #2: "Blblblblblb!!! I think so, Simon!" Maniac #1: "But they can't run forever! Those belts will become hot potatoes!" Simon Bolendorf: "That's right, Maniacs, and when the music stops --- The Maniacs will be left standing at the top, all alone!" Two well built and deeply tanned men stand to either side of a stunningly gorgeous blonde woman. The woman's voice however does not match here good looks.... Val: 'Well like ya know...I'm here to like introduce the WeWF's two newest hot acts. My two wrestlers are Totally Tubular. Like I should REALLY just like let them speak for themselves. Ya know? The Larger of the two speaks first.... T.B.Kahuna: 'They call me the Big Kahuna and let me tell you, when I hit the WeWF it's gonna make a wave soooo huge, it'll just knock down anyone in its way.' Then the other... Malibu: 'Surf's up in the WeWF, dude! So watch out all you loks, because the Surfer Alliance is here to PARTY!!!! Kowabunga Dude! Val: 'Like, I guess that like pretty much says it all....I think...(ditzy look)...Ya know?' Death: "Well, I'll bet someone out there thinks the routine with the computer was real cute! Doom and Devastation got their files erased, and now they're locked out of the WeWF, unable to earn a living! Well, whoever you were, you didn't get the job done! Death and Destruction are still here, and we're gonna turn this federation upside down 'till we find the culprits!" Samson Goliath is looking for replacement members to fill the Team Challenge Series spaces formerly occupied by the Circus of Pain. Any interested parties should contact him at V124JW4Y@UBVMS.BITNET. The Wizard is due for a match, when suddenly there is a loud bang and smoke billows out. When the smoke clears , there stands a man in a cape and look rather grim. The Wizard has entered the game. The crowd is suddenly all silent as a chariot is drawn towards the ring. It is not the wellmuscled man standing in the chariot that makes the crowd go silent, it is rather the 4 extremely beautiful girls drawing it. >From Star Fleet Headquarters, here is Admiral Chekov. "LIGHTFINGER! You think you are through with us? THINK AGAIN! Or, should I say, try to think for the first time in your life! Khan Noonian Singh and Darth Vader are not exactly piling up victories, are they? Didn't think so. And they won't do it this week either, because they are going to face my Ultimate Trekkies again. Which means, more losses for your silly little empire. Period. Chekov out!" Judge Dredd stands alone in front of the Spinning Globe in the background. Dredd: 'Law Maker, Enforcer, you have started a feud larger than anything you can imagine. You claim to make the laws. How soon you have forgotten the beatings you took after your attempt to disable us in The Meat Locker. I and my partner challenge you to a no holds barred, steal cage match at the April Supercard. The only Law in the ring will be me. Now as for you 'Emperor' Lightfingers. You claim to make the laws too. It seems that you and your floozies, have forgotten who's really in control here. This week I will begin cleansing the WeWF of the filth that is your wrestlers. When I am finished you will see that God makes the Law. And I AM THE LAW!!!!!' (From the halls of Asgard): "This is Baron Paul Schofield, known to you cretins as "Pretty Boy" Pauly. I'm here with the greatest wrestlers of all time, Thorin the Thunder God, and Lokis the Trickster. We have been watching this federation for a long time, and we feel that it is time for all of you low-life scuzbags to wake up and realize who the REAL power in the WeWF is--the Thunder Brothers! Tell 'em, Lokis!" Lokis: "Of course we're the most powerful wrestlers here. We are gods: what other reason should you need to believe it? We are invunerable to pain, we have limitless endurance, and we hit with the force of the very elements! And, of course, if that turns out to be not quite enough, we will throw in a little bit of trickery. Beware, wrestlers! The Thunder Brothers are tired of being the second strings!" Thorin:"yea, my brother doth tell the truth. We are the mightiest warriors in the Multiverse, and we fear NO ONE! Not the Abbatoir, not Four Corners, not anyone! Come and feel the power of my hammer! You shall know the meaning of the word fear! Verily, it doth pain me sometimes to see that the varlets in this league dconsider us as nothing but pretenders. Let me assure you, they are. Schofield:"I think they get the point, Thorin. Rest assured, though, they will soon find out for themselves what it feels like to be on the recieving end of one of your "hammer-and-anvil" routines! (from professor Xavier's mansion in New York): "Baron Schofield? Ha ha ha! Baron of the scrap heap, maybe. Jimmy's already defeated your "Thunder God", and he's going to beat up Lokis this week! In fact, why don't you listen to my boys tell it?" Jimmy:"Thanks, Steve. You're right, of course. lokis, no matter what trickery you think up, you will not be able to beat me. I am simple too fast, too quick, and too agile to be caught by your "anvil". As for Thorin: well, Guardian will take care of him! Tell him, Guardian!" Guardian:"Jimmy is right! I've had a little bit of bad luck here in the WeWF, but it is only a matter of time before I reach my true potential! When that occurs, beware, WeWF! And be warned, Thunder Brothers!" Brack:"That's telling them, boys! they'll soon see that we are a force to be reckoned with here in the WeWF!" During Thorin's match with Guardian, Lokis came down to ringside. While Schofield is distracting the ref, Lokis picked up Thorin's hammer (very heavy, of course), and got into the ring. Thorin held Guardian from behind so that Lokis could pound him with the hammer. When Lokis wentgoes to try this, though, Guardian ducked out of the way, and Lokis hit Thorin instead! Thorin was out cold, and Guardian was trying to beat up Lokis. Unfortunately, Lokis (since he still has the hammer) beat him up with it. The ref will turned around and, seeing this, DQ'd Thorin. Jimmy Carbon ran down to the ring and blindsided Lokis with a dropkick. Lokis and Schofield dragged Thorin out of the ring and carried him back to the dressing room. Jimmy called for a stretcher, since Guardian was badly injured. During Lokis's match with Jimmy Carbon (after Thorin's match), Thorin limped down to ringside, minus his helm, his head wrapped in bandages. He jumped into the ring and started having a shouting match will his brother Lokis. They started trading shoves, and then Lokis threw him out onto the apron. He jumps out to beat up on Thorin, but caught a hammer in the gut. Thorin and Lokis start going toe-to-toe, and Lokis is counted out. Schofield pulls Lokis away, and Jimmy pulls Thorin away. Lokis storms off to the dressing room, muttering some arcane phrases under his breath. Jimmy thanks Thorin for the help. Thorin looks at him for a little bit, then extends his hand. They shake, and head back together. The Four Corners and Smooth will accompanied DiMadMan to his World Title match. The Plaid Powerhouse slapped Molly Maguire in the face. and Smooth occuppied the referee while Bjorn "the Sweedish Pretzel" climbed onto the ring apron to hit Frank Steel over the head with the ringside bell, but Steel clotheslined him, knocking him off of the apron. ======= WeWF Wrestling Spotlight ========= JAY: Welcome Back....Crazy Jay Morgan here once again. With me is Vito Gianelli. Ok, Vito...What's the story? VITO: It's like this, Crazy Jay. David Lightfinger found himself some new wrestlers. Only thing is...they're no better than the old ones. Darth Vader, you might use the Force...But in the WeWF there's a stronger force...an unstoppable force...CALLED VITO-MANIA! JAY: And what a potent force it is. However, what about the Four... VITO:(CUTTING HIM OFF) The Four Cowards. Yeah, everyone's heard by now that they've found another match for Supercard. Luckily there's going to be a cage there to protect them. JAY: Okay...Vito Gianelli. Now let's take you back to ringside for more WeWF Wrestling action. ===================================== TEAM CHALLENGE SERIES OPENINGS: Due to sabotage by an as-yet unknown party, two members of Samson Goliath's team have been banned from wrestlers. Unless two new team members can be found, the team will be forced to withdraw from the Series. Up