WeWF: May Supercard

From: arxt@quads.uchicago.edu (Aidan Palmer)

Date: Wed, 29 May 1991 22:37:38 +0000

For the first time I have decided to post the WeWF Supercard, mostly for
EMWA and PWGeA wrestlers interested in scouting out the competion.  If
anyone objects, I won't post Supercards anymore, just weekly reports.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

WeWF Supercard #4: "Summer Breakout"

May 29, 1991
The Meadowlands

Baboon: "Hello everyone and welcome to the 4th WeWF Supercard!  I'm Baboon
         Tempest and here's my co-host, Robby the Lame!"

Robby: "Baboon, this place is going to erupt because we have some great matches
        scheduled!  The Hoosiers vs. The Siamese Twins in a losers learn the
        language match, Slimm vs. Sour Krout, The Three Man Wrecking Crew vs.
        Capital Punishment, The Exterminators vs. Flint and Steel in a steel
        cage Match, The 007 Special vs. The Intoxicators, and in the Main
        Event, with the Americas' Title on the line, The Big Kahuna vs. The
        Re-Animator in a no DQ, no time limit match!  Not to mention Bjorn
        "the Sweedish Pretzel" will be defending against the highest ranking
        contender for his belt!"

Baboon: "How about the upcoming Summit of E-Wrestling, Robby?"

Robby: "THAT I know about, Tempest.  PWGeA greats are going to be taking on WeWF
        greats, and I'm going to be there!"

Baboon: "Do you know what any of the matches are going to be, Lame?"

Robby: "No, Baboon, I don't know yet.  But you can bet the Four Corners will
        clean house!"

Baboon: "It's going to be a happening!  Let's go to the ring."

The Hoosiers vs. The Siamese Twins
	in a Losers Learn the Language Match

Baboon: "It's time for our first match, Lame.  And it is a most interesting
         encounter, the Hoosiers against the Siamese Twins, and the losers
         must learn their opponents' language!"

Robby: "Yeah, the Hoosiers are losers, but why should they try to learn
        Japanese?  They still haven't mastered English!"

Baboon: "Give me a break."

Robby: "It's true!  What do you expect from people from Dan Quayle's home
        state?"

Baboon: "Don't let the General hear that, Lame.  Let's get to the action."

The Siamese Twins came down the aisle first, accompanied by Mitsubishi Zero.
The fans went crazy when "Back Home Again in Indiana" was played over the
speakers and the ring announcer shouted out:
 "Being lead to the ring by their manager,
  three time former Heavyweight Champion of the World, the General,
  at a total combined weight of 497 lbs.,
  the dynasty of the 90's,
  here are Erik and the Daemon,
  the Hoosiers!"

The Siamese Twins attacked before the bell with chops and karate kicks, but
Erik slammed Yin and Daemon brought Yang down with a headscissors.  Yin and
Yang both rolled out of the ring to regroup, but the General met them on the
outside and rammed their heads together!  He rolled them back into the ring,
and when they got back to their feet, Daemon monkey flipped Yin across the
ring and Erik clotheslined Yang over the top rope!  Yin stayed in the ring
and raked Daemon's face, then hit him with a stinging reverse knife edge.

He bounced off the ropes and hit Daemon with a jump kick, then swept his
legs.  Yin covered, but Daemon got out at the one count.  Yin wore his
opponent down with a reverse chinlock, then tagged out to Yang.  Yang bounced
off the ropes and clotheslined Daemon down, then went for an elbow drop, but
Daemon rolled away!  Daemon dropkicked Yang, who fell back against the ropes,
then tagged out to Erik.  Erik put a hammerlock on Yang, then changed it
to a flying hammerlock.  Yang howled in pain and Erik followed it up with
a shoulder breaker!  Erik brought Yang into his corner and tagged out to
Daemon.  Erik slammed Yang, and Daemon dropped a knee on Yang, then tagged
back out to Erik.  Erik came in via a top rope legdrop onto Yang.

Erik went for the pin, but Mitsubishi Zero put Yang's foot on the ropes, and
the referee stopped the count.  The General complained that Zero had
interfered in the match, but Zero denied it and the match continued.  The
General vented his frustration by throwing a chair at Zero, then chasing
him back to the dressing room!  Erik tagged Daemon back in, and after they
double clotheslined Yang, he whipped Yang into a corner.  Daemon went for a
suplex, but Yin pulled his leg out from under him, and Yang fell on him.
Daemon escaped at the two count.  Yang rolled out of the ring, then back in.
Daemon whipped him off the ropes, but Yang seemed to have miraculously
recovered, and he hit Daemon with a body tackle.  Erik came into the ring
to protest, but the referee stopped him.

Just then, the General came back to the ring and DDT'd the real Yang outside
the ring.  Yin, on the inside, stopped to shout at the General, and Erik put
him in a full nelson.  Daemon lifted Yin's legs up for extra pressure, and
Yin submitted.  After the match, the General gave both Siamese Twins copies
of "Learning English, in Only 10 Minutes a Day".

Robby: "How about that comeback by Yang, huh?"

Baboon: "Be serious, Lame.  The tried to cheat, but it didn't pay off.  Now
         they must learn English or be banned from the WeWF!"

Robby: "Don't worry, they already know English.  I'm sure Mitsubishi Zero
        taught them words like Panasonic, Suzuki, and Kawasaki!

Slimm vs. Sour Kraut

Robby: "Here's a matchup I can predict with 99.9 % accuracy, Baboon, Slimm the
        blob vs. top contender Sour Krout.  Now, Slimm standing up or lying
        down is almost as tall as Sour Krout, but he can't compete in strength."

Baboon: "You really think Sour Krout can push Slimm around the ring?  It's hard
         to get that much mass moving, Robby.  Sour Krout won the last time, but
         Slimm has been eating - I mean training hard for this one!"

Slimm walks to the ring first, his trademark wheelbarrow
full of food in front of him as "Don't go messin' with a Country
Boy" by Hillbilly Jim plays over the loud speakers.

Baboon: "Listen to these fans go wild!  They love this guy!"

Robby: "Yeah and there sure is enough of him to love too."

Baboon: "Hey, you're no Ghandi yourself ya know."

Robby: "What?  Oh look, here come Sour Krout and his manager
        The Red Baron."

The Red Baron leads Sour Kraut to the ring while "Rock You Likw a
Hurricane" by the Scorpions blasts through the arena, just above
the chorus of boos from the crowd.  The ref checks both men for
international objects and the match is underway.  Sour Krout and
Slimm lock up in the middle of the ring and Slimm hurls his opponent
into the far turnbuckle.  Sour Kraut rolls out of the ring to confer
with The Baron.

Baboon: "What a show of strength by Slimm!"

Robby: "Strength? The only thing strong about Slimm is his odor."

Baboon: "Then what would you call it?"

Robby: "He put his weight behind it.  All 649lbs of it."

Sour Kraut slips back into the ring and locks up with Slimm again.
Sour Kraut delivers a knee to the stomach, then he rakes Slimm's eyes
but Slimm seems unphased.

Robby: "What great technical wrestling by Sour Kraut!"
Baboon: "Yeah, technically illegal."

Slimm gets Sour Kraut in a headlock and whips him to the ropes,
delivering a beautiful clothesline.  He scoops Sour Kraut and a
punishing body slam.  Sour Kraut rolls out of the ring again and
the crowd goes wild!

Baboon: "We could be looking at an upset in the making here Robby"

Robby: "Yeah I know.  Slimm is making me sick to my stomach too."

Baboon: "Hey what's The Red Baron doing on the apron?"

Robby: "He's complaining about the crummy officiating.  What's it
        look like he's doing?"

Baboon: "Looks like he's distracting the referee to me.  What's that
         Sour Kraut has in his hands?"

Sour Kraut sneaks back into the ring and as the Red Baron and the
referee argue, he pearl harbors Slimm with a steel chair.  Slimm
falls against the ropes and Sour Kraut tosses the chair out of the
ring just as the referee turns around.  Slimm is still dazed and
Sour Kraut delivers a series of rights and lefts, then kicks to the
stomach, but Slimm won't fall. He hits Slimm with a clothesline,
and then another as Slimm begins to look a little wobbly.  Sour
Kraut to the second rope. Flying clothesline! Slimm staggers and slips
to one knee, but won't go down.

Robby: "I guess it's true."

Baboon: "What?"

Robby: "Weebles Wobble but they won't fall down."

Baboon: "Oh please!  That's enough!"

Sour Kraut up to the top rope this time, but Slimm catches him and
delivers a earthshaking powerslam.  One! Two! Sour Kraut manages to
get a foot up on the ropes.  Slimm is staggering to his feet, but Sour
Kraut has one of his legs! He can't get his balance and falls to the
mat crushing the referee underneath him. Slimm rolls off the ref
but he's out cold.

Baboon: "Now what?"

Robby: "Well I think that fat slob should be..."

Baboon: (interrupts) "Wait!  What's this?"

The Hit 'n Run Rabbi runs to ringside in full referee attire.
He gets Slimm and Sour Kraut into neutral corners just in time for The Red
Baron to hammer Slimm in the back of the head with the steel chair
but the Rabbi seemed too busy looking for something in his pocket
to notice.  He finds what he was looking for and pulls out... a
pair of brass knuckles!  The fans watch in shock as the Rabbi
delivers a right to Slimm's forehead.  Then another.  And another.
Slimm is bleeding severely from the head.  Sour Kraut is on the top rope
and his flying clothesline sends Slimm to the floor hard.  The real
referee seems to be reviving and recovers just in time to give
Sour Kraut the easy three count as the Rabbi makes a hasty retreat
back to the locker room area, followed close behind by Sour Kraut
and the Baron.  Slimm remains unmoving in the center of the ring.

Robby: "Well I guess we know why he's called the "Hit 'n Run"
        Rabbi now, eh Tempest?"

Baboon: "I wanna know how he could turn his backs on his fans like
         that?  That's unbelievable!"

Robby: "All I wanna know is how they're gonna get that beached
        whale out of the ring before the next match..."

Capital Punishment vs. The Three Man Wrecking Crew

Baboon: "A six man match, Lame, and you have to give this one to the team with
         the two time tag team champions, the Law."

Robby: "They are two time champs, Baboon, but I didn't know you could count
        that high!  Still, I think it's a toss up.  The Maniacs have perfected
        the cheapshot, just remember how they won the titles at the first
        Supercard!"

Baboon: "I remember, they threw powder in the face of the Leaping Lords!
         I hope the referee can keep control of them this time.  Let's go to
         Green Jean."

Green Jean: "Any comments before this match guys?"

Dredd: "Yeah, just one.  Maniacs, judgement day is at hand.  You can run but
        you can't hide."

The Crusher and the Maniacs get to the ring first.  A little old lady
at ringside climbs into the ring and starts screaming at them.  Simon
Bolendorf is about to slap her when Capital Punishment comes running
to ringside.  The Maniacs and the Crusher all hop out of the ring, but
the Grim Reaper manages to catch Simon Bolendorf in the sleeper!  The
Three man wrecking crew wait, stunned, and finally grab chairs and
clean house in the ring.  The match finally starts with the Crusher
and the Grim Reaper.  The Grim Reaper goes to pick the Crusher up,
but the Crusher blocks it.  The Crusher then picks up the Reaper, and
with great effort, body slams him.  He turns his back, and starts
posing for the crowd.  (Greeted with boos, of course)  The Grim Reaper
stands up and clotheslines the Crusher from behind.  He goes to work
punching, kicking, and then choking the downed Crusher.  He then tags
out to Judge Anderson.  Judge Anderson throws him into the ropes and
then dropkicks him out of the ring.  Judge Dredd meets the Crusher
outside the ring with a running clothesline.  Then he throws the
Crusher back into the ring.  The Crusher swings at Judge Anderson, but
the Judge ducks, and then atomic knee drops the Crusher back into
his own corner.  Maniac #1 tags in, and immediately puts Anderson
in a headlock.  He grinds it a bit, but Judge Anderson thows him into
the ropes.  Anderson then bounces over the opposite ropes, but Maniac
#2 pulls the rope down, and Anderson goes sailing over the top.  Maniac
#2 then picks up the downed Anderson and drops him on his knee.  The
referee's count gets up to 9 before Anderson can muster the strength
to get back into the ring.  Maniac #1 charges him, but Anderson crawls
between his legs, and makes it to the corner to tag in Judge Dredd.  Dredd
picks up Maniac #1 and powerslams him.  Simon Bolendorf gets on the
ring apron, and starts distracting the ref.  The Crusher comes in, but
Judge Dredd powerslams him too.  Maniac #2 comes in, and he takes
some pouder out of his trunks!  He goes to throw it at Judge Dredd, but
Machiavelli screams at Dredd.  Dredd turns to look, and the powder
flies past him, and into Simon Bolendorf's eyes.  Dredd running
clotheslines Maniac #2 over the top rope.  The Judge then clotheslines the
Crusher over the top rope too, and then starts trading punches with
Maniac #1.  Outside of the ring, Machiavelli goes after Simon Bolendorf,
but Simon hits him with the ring bell!  He fails to see the Grim Reaper
sneak up behind him, and put him in the sleeper.  Maniac #2 and the
Crusher are too tired to help, and Maniac #1 is losing the slugfest
in the middle of the ring.  It's only a short matter of time before
Bolendorf is unconscious, and on the inside of a coffin.  The Grim
Reaper carts him off out of the Arena for a propper burial.  It's 3 on 2
inside the ring, however, and after a viscious double dropkick, it's
all of the Three Man Wrecking Crew on Judge Dredd.  The three wrestlers
all take their turns giving Judge Dredd the DDT, when the Crusher puts
him up on his shoulders.  Both Maniacs climb to the top turnbuckle, and
give Judge Dredd a double Clothesline!  Dredd is unconscious in the
center of the ring.  Crusher goes for the cover.  1-2- the Crusher pulls
Judge Dredd's shoulders up!  He's looking to dish out more punishment.
He tags Maniac #1, and puts Dredd in a bearhug, as Maniac #2 climbs
to the top rope.  Maniac #1 bounces off the ropes and clotheslines Dredd.
Maniac #2 then does a leap onto Judge Dredd that would make Jimmy "Superfly"
Snuka jealous.  Machiavelli is very nervous, so he hands Judge Anderson
some brass knuckles and then goes to distract the ref.  Judge Anderson
charges the ring and decks the Crusher, ducks a clothesline from Maniac #2,
and decks him too.  He then hides the knuckles, as the ref escorts him
outside of the ring.  Maniac #1 goes to cover Judge Dredd.  1-2-2 and a half-
2 and three quarters-Dredd kicks out!  Maniac #1 looks at his hands!
The crowd starts chanting "You're no Ultimate Warrior" as Judge Dredd
rolls over to his corner and tags the Grim Reaper, who just returned
to ringside from the locker room.  The Reaper proceeds to grab
Maniac #1 by the throat and lifts him several feet off the ground.  Maniac
#2, just awakening, runs into the ring and slams the Reaper from behind.The
Reaper drops Maniac #1 and lifts Maniac #2 by the throat.  The Crusher goes
to the top rope to try something, but the Reaper drop Maniac #2, and gives
the Crusher a shot to the gunsack.  The Crusher lets out a high pitched yelp,
and the Reaper throws him across the ring like a sack of potatoes. The
Reaper then tags Judge Anderson who quickly climbs up the top rope and
plants a devastating flying dropkick on the Crusher.  Maniac #2 climbs
to the top rope and gets poised for a sneak attack.  Meanwhile Judge Anderson
puts the Crusher in a headlock.  Crusher throws him into the ropes, but
the swinging of the ropes causes Maniac #2 to fall and catch the family
jewelbox on the top rope.  Crusher meanwhile goes to backbody drop
Judge Anderson, but Judge Anderson takes the opportunity and executes
a devestating neckbreaker on the Crusher.  He takes advange of the momentum
lands a picture-perfect dropkick on Maniac #1, who falls off the ring apron.
He then tags in Judge Dredd, and the tag champs of the world then do a
spike piledriver on the Crusher.  They tag in the Grim Reaper, who puts the
lifeless Crusher in a sleeper.  It's just a formality for the referee
to lift and drop the Crusher's arm 3 times.  The Maniacs charge the
ring, and the Judges are on them in a second.  The melee continues
as both teams fight on the ring floor, and then back to the dressing room.
Machiavelli looks at the camera, asks "Anybody got a spare coffin?"  Seeing
none, the Reaper grabs the Crusher, hoists him over his shoulder and
exits the ring area.

Baboon: "Capital Punishment beats the Three Man Wrecking Crew!"

Robby: "Yeah, but what's happening to the Crusher?  This is inhuman!  The
        referee should be stopping this!"

Baboon: "The match is over, he can do whatever he likes!  Didn't you condone
         burying Sasquatch at the last Supercard?"

Robby: "Sure, but that was Sasquatch, not a top wrestler like the Crusher!
        Well hopefully this will just make the Crusher meaner!  Reaper, watch
        out!"

Flint and Steel vs. The Exterminators
	in a Steel Cage Match

Baboon: "In a 15 foot high steel cage, two of the greatest wrestlers of
         all time taking on two of the most sadistic!"

Robby: "Where do Flint and Steel fit in?  The Exterminators are two of the
        greatest of all time, and they're two of the most sadistic wrestlers
        I've ever met.  Just ask the Hit 'N' Run Rabbi!"

Baboon: "The Exterminators are a good team, but they aren't better than Flint
         and Steel."

Robby: "Right.  Flint and Steel both want Flint's World Title, and I think
        that is going to split up their team sooner or later!"

The Exterminators got in the cage first, and shook the walls to test if they
were solid.  The Butcher wanted to be safe for the Re-Animator's match, so
he returned to the dressing room.  The boos and catcalls from the fans were
defeaning, until Flint and Steel came to the ring with Molly Maguire and the
crowd cheered like crazy.  They threw their Union jackets and tools at the
timekeeper, and climbed into the cage.

The referee put a lock on the door, and the Exterminators tried to get out of
the cage quickly by climbing over the walls, but World Champion "Irish" Mike
Flint grabbed the Law-Maker's foot and pulled him off the cage, while Frank
Steel slammed the Enforcer face first into the cage wall on the other side of
the ring!

Both teams began tearing at each other tooth and nail, and the Exterminators
seemed to be getting the better of it.  The Enforcer threw Flint into the
cage, and Law-Maker atomic dropped Steel.  Steel turned around, and slammed
Law-Maker into the mat face first, and then picked him up for a piledriver,
but the Enforcer knocked him down before he could complete the move.  Flint
bounced off the ropes and shoulderblocked the Enforcer, then put a step-over
toe hold on him, the first technical move of the match!  Law-Maker broke the
hold by slugging Flint, but he was axehandled from behind by Steel.  This
general mayhem continued for a few minutes, and both teams were bleeding.

The Butcher came back to ringside with the Savage and the Re-Animator, and
the two wrestlers began menacing Molly Maguire.  Savage went around one side
of the cage, Re-Animator went around the other, and Molly was caught in the
middle.  The Butcher, though, kept his distance.  Flint and Steel were
distracted by this unsportsmanlike conduct, and they were easily blindsided by
the Exterminators.  The Enforcer bloodied "Irish" Mike Flint with a roll of
dimes, then went to help the Law-Maker with Steel.  They gave Steel a double
stomach breaker, then a double elbow drop, and Enforcer tried to climb out of
the cage.  Steel got back to his knees and rammed a shoulder into the
Law-Maker's midsection.  Flint grabbed Enforcer by the trunks just before
he got over the cage wall, and yanked him off the cage.  Flint crawled to
the door and signaled for the referee to open it, but the Savage held it shut.
While the Savage was holding the door, Molly Maguire ran past him back to
the dressing room area.

The Re-Animator handed brass knuckles to the Law-Maker, and he hit Flint in
the lower back with them.  Flint dropped to his knees and the Law-Maker put
a chinlock on him, then punched him in the face with the brass knuckles.
Steel recovered the roll of dimes, and slugged the Law-Maker.  The Enforcer
tried to climb out of the cage, but Steel climbed up the cage, met him at
the top, and choked him on the top edge of the cage!  It looked like Steel
might get out of the cage, but the Re-Animator shook the wall and Steel and
the Enforcer fell back into the ring.  Flint and the Law-Maker exchanged
rights and lefts, and then Flint put Law-Maker in a headlock.  Law-Maker
pushed Flint to the ropes, but the World Champion held onto Law-Maker, and
they both collided with the cage!

For a few minutes none of the wrestlers moved.  Frank Steel was the first to
get up, but he was hurt too badly to climb out of the cage.  He motioned for
the door to be opened, but the Savage was still holding it shut.  Just then
Molly Maguire returned to ringside with the Neutralizer!  The Neutralizer
grabbed a chair and chased the Savage away from the cage door.  The referee
opened the door, and Steel crawled out for the win.

Robby: "Hah, Flint and Steel will never wrestle again after that beating!"

Baboon: "The Exterminators really proved that they can handle wrestling with
         the big boys, but they don't look any better off than their
         opponents!  Call an ambulance, those guys won't be leaving the ring
         under their own power!"

Robby: "Flint and Steel are just lucky the Neutralizer was there!"

The 007 Special vs. The Intoxciators

Baboon: "And here's a feud that began at the last Supercard when Mr. B ran in
         and attacked BudMan after the big Triple Dome of Terror match!"

Robby: "Remember what happened to Dr. Down-Under during that match?  Well
        let's just say it was an ELECTRIFYING experience, and I will be
        SHOCKED if his team beat the Intoxicators!"

Baboon: "WATT?  Have you been keeping up on CURRENT events?  The 007 Special has
         come a long way, and I wouldn't be surprised if they did beat the
         Intoxicators!"

Robby: "The 007 Special are tolerable cheapshot artists, but the Intoxicators
        are the Michaelangelo's of sneak attacks!"

Baboon: "You mean they like pizza?"

Robby: "Mutoid...  Before we go to the match, let's hear some enlightening
        comments from BudMan."

BudMan: "Arrrrgh Arr!"

Green Jean: "Huh?"

Smooth: "What he said was: Nothin' beats a Bud!  Man!  Come on BudMan, let's
         go."

Zoo by the Scorpions came blaring over the loudspeakers as the Intoxicators
and Smooth made their way to the ring.  They laughed at the tremendous boos
they received from the crowd.  Then the 007 Special came down the aisle with
Dr. Down-Under, who was waving his TASER around, and Action Man and "Crusher"
Cootus to "007 Shanty Town" by Desmond Dekker.  The two teams started off the
match quickly, with DiMadMan and Mr. B in the ring first.

Mr. B reversed a wristlock by DiMadMan, and forced him down to his knees.
DiMadMan got out of it with a face rake, then fireman's carried Mr. B down and
re-applied the wristlock.  Tom "the Animal" Brown rallied the crowd behind
his team, and Mr. B responded to their cheers by powering up and throwing
DiMadMan to the mat by his hair.  DiMadMan tagged out to BudMan, who came
in cautiouly.

Mr. B bounced off the ropes, but Smooth grabbed him by the ankle and tripped
him.  BudMan dropped an elbow across Mr. B's back and tagged out to DiMadMan.
BudMan put Mr. B in a front facelock, and DiMadMan jumped off the top rope
with a double axehandle into Mr. B's back.  DiMadMan chicken winged his
opponent, and dropped a knee on Mr. B's arm.  He whipped Mr. B into a corner
and charged in, but Mr. B put his foot up!  DiMadMan showed his ring savvy
by stopping himself before he hit Mr. B's foot, and yanked Mr. B out of the
corner.  He scooped Mr. B up for a slam, but the wily Mr. B went over
DiMadMan's back and tagged out to Tom Brown.

The Animal charged in and leveled DiMadMan with a clothesline, then hit
BudMan with a hard right hand, knocking him off of the apron.  DiMadMan got
back up and the Animal suplexed him, and rolled over for a quick cover, but
DiMadMan got out.  The Animal body slammed his opponent and then tagged Mr. B.
The two whipped DiMadMan off the ropes, Tom Brown punched DiMadMan in the
gut, and Mr. B followed it with a knee lift that made DiMadMan almost do a
360!  DiMadMan crawled to his corner and tagged out to BudMan.

BudMan pulled Mr. B into his corner by the hair and rammed his head into
the turnbuckle.  He picked Mr. B up, and draped him in the corner.  The
Intoxicators then punched Mr. B in the midsection until he fell to the mat.
DiMadMan tagged in, and piledrivered Mr. B.  He went for the pin but didn't
hook Mr. B's leg, and Mr. B got out.  The fans got behind Mr. B and he got
to his feet, only to go back down when DiMadMan clotheslined him.

DiMadMan tagged BudMan, who had slipped something into his mask.  DiMadMan
held Mr. B, and BudMan hit him with a thunderous headbutt that KO'd Mr. B.
He went for the cover, but stopped when he saw Action Man and "Crusher"
Cootus trying to get into the ring.  While the referee went to stop them from
interfering in the match, BudMan choked Mr. B.  Dr. Down-Under zapped Mr. B
with his TASER, but that temporarily paralyzed BudMan and he was still choking
Mr. B!  Tom "the Animal" Brown charged in, but DiMadMan blocked him off.
BudMan's muscles finally relaxed and he slumped off of Mr. B, who was gasping
for air.  Smooth tried to get into the ring, but Dr. Down-Under got him
with the TASER!  The referee tried to restore order, and he succeeded in
getting DiMadMan and Tom "the Animal" Brown out of the ring, but the Plaid
Powerhouse ran to the ring and rolled BudMan onto Mr. B!  The referee turned
around, but the Plaid Powerhouse was already out of the ring.  The referee
counted the pin, and the Intoxicators won the match.

Robby: "Hey, a clean win for the Intoxicators for a change!"

Baboon: "That was hardly a clean win, Lame.  You saw the Plaid Powerhouse
         run in!"

Robby: "Yeah, but for one of their matches, it was clean!"

Baboon: "What's going on now?"

Robby: "I love it!  DiMadMan is making Mr. B admit that American beer is
        better!"

Baboon: "But "Crusher" Cootus grabs a chair and cleans house!  That was
         despicable by DiMadMan!"

Bjorn "the Sweedish Pretzel" vs. ???

Baboon: "So who is Bjorn's opponent, Lame?"

Robby: "No one, he won't show up!"

Bjorn entered the ring first, accompanied by Smooth.  The ring announcer
called out: "And now, his opponent..." followed by a long pause, "the four
time Africa/Australia Champion, one half of the winning team in the Tag Team
Battle Royal, Mr. Roddy!"

Mr. Roddy came to the ring without Keith Skar and got a favorable reaction
from the fans, mostly because they hated Bjorn more.  He tried to climb into
the ring, but Bjorn pushed him off the apron every time he tried to get in.
Mr. Roddy grabbed his opponent's legs and dragged him out of the ring, then
slammed him face first into the ring apron!  Roddy then kicked Bjorn in the gut,
clotheslined him, and then rolled him back into the ring.  When Mr. Roddy
tried to get into the ring Smooth nailed him from behind with a chair!

Bjorn took the opportunity to suplex Mr. Roddy into the ring, then fistdrop
him.  He signaled for the Sweedish Pretzel figure four, but Mr. Roddy crawled
to the ropes before he could slap it on.  Mr. Roddy used the ropes to help
himself back to his feet, but Smooth hit him with the chair again!  Bjorn
dropped an elbow on his foe and suplexed him again.  He covered Mr. Roddy, but
pulled his shoulder up at the two count!  He whipped Mr. Roddy to the ropes
and powerslammed him, then argued with the referee for no apparent reason.

The reason became apparent when Smooth choked Mr. Roddy over the bottom rope,
while the ref's back was turned.  Smooth turned to go back to Bjorn's corner,
but Lord Roderick grabbed him and hit him with a punch that left Smooth's
head spinning!  Bjorn stopped the match to hurl insults at Lord Roderick,
but meanwhile Mr. Roddy was recovering, and he atomic dropped Bjorn!  Mr.
Roddy then caught Bjorn with an elbow to the head and whipped him off the
ropes into a sleeper!  Bjorn countered by grabbing Mr. Roddy by the hair
and dropping down, almost breaking Mr. Roddy's jaw!  Bjorn got back to his
feet, but Mr. Roddy surprised him with a small package.  Before the referee
could even count to one Bjorn had reversed the move pinned Mr. Roddy.

After the match, Lord Roderick got into the ring and hit Bjorn with a chair.
Bjorn rolled out of the ring before any further damage could be done and
DiMadMan, BudMan and the Plaid Powerhouse ran down to the ring before any
more damage could be done.  The Millionaire ran down the aisle and smacked
BudMan in the head with the Eurasia belt, while Keith Skar jumped out of the
second row and threw a fireball into the Plaid Powerhouse's face!  RnR jumped
out of the ring and brawled with the Four Corners some more.  The Corners
helped Smooth back to his feet and beat a hasty retreat back to the dressing
room area!

Baboon: "Well it looks like RnR have avenged themselves for what took place
         after the tag team battle royal!  The Four Corners finally got what
         they deserved!"

Robby: "Bjorn still has his belt, and it's just a matter of time until BudMan
        destroys that usurper the Millionaire, and gets the Eurasia belt
        back around his waist!"

The Big Kahuna vs. The Re-Animator
	in a No DQ, No Time Limit Match

Baboon: "This feud has been going on for a long time, Lame.  It all began when
         the Abattoir viciously attacked the Surfer Alliance in the Meat
         Locker and put Malibu out of wrestling!"

Robby: "They put him out of wrestling, and now it's time for the Re-Animator to
        put The Big Kahuna out of wrestling."

Baboon: "I don't think he can, Lame.  Four weeks ago the Re-Animator beat the
         Big Kahuna to retain the Americas' Title, but he lost it the next
         week.  And two weeks ago T. B. Kahuna beat the Re-Animator to defend
         the belt."

Robby: "But just last week the Re-Animator beat Kahuna by DQ!  This time there's
        no DQ, and that belt WILL change hands!"

Baboon: "Ha.  The Big Kahuna won the Iron Man tournament at the last Supercard,
         and last week he won the World Title from the General!"

Robby: "But who did he lose it to, Tempest?  Bjorn "the Sweedish Pretzel".
        Smooth and the Butcher have the Kahuna's number, and they will beat
        him again right here!"

Baboon: "I don't know about that Lame, let's go to the Dink!"

Dink: "Ladies and Gentlemen, this is the main event and it is scheduled for
       one fall!  First the challeger, accompanied to the ring by his manager,
       the Butcher, from Parts Unknown, standing 6' 9" and weighing 320
       pounds, the Re-Animator!"

Robby: "Boy does the Re-Animator look confident tonight!"

Baboon: "But the fans don't like him one bit!  Little kids are deathly afraid
         of this goon!"

Robby: "I don't think he cares, Tempest, and it's awfully hard to beat someone
        who doesn't care!"

Baboon: "We're about to hear this place erupt!"

Dink: "And his opponent, the reigning America's Champion, accompanied to the
       ring by Val Lee, here is The Big Kahuna!"

Robby: "The Big Kahuna is running to the ring!  Why's he in such a hurry?
        And what is that surfboard for?"

Baboon: "Wham!  The Big Kahuna just busted that surfboard over the
         Re-Animator's head!  The big man is stunned!"

Robby: "The Big Kahuna being uncharacteristically vicious in the early going!
        He just unleashed a series of closed fists that sent the Re-Animator
        to the ground!"

Baboon: "I don't blame him!  These men don't like each other, and they're
         showing it right here.  Remember, Lame, this is a no disqualification
         match.  He can do that sort of thing!"

Robby: "And the Butcher can do THAT sort of thing!  He grabbed one of the
        Kahuna's legs and is holding him in place!"

Baboon: "The Re-Animator is up, he's got a piece of that surfboard..."

Robby: "... and he cracks it over the Kahuna's head!  He's choking the Kahuna
        right in front of the ref!"

Baboon: "Come on ref, get in there..."

Robby: "There's nothing the referee can do!  The Re-Animator is choking the
        Kahuna into oblivion!"

Baboon: "The Big Kahuna comes back with a kick to the midsection!  He broke
         the choke hold, and now he's going to break the Re-Animator in half!
         Backbreaker by the Big Kahuna!"

Robby: "Re-Animator recovers very quickly and headbutts the Kahuna!  A chop
        and another chop!  The Re-Animator backs the Kahuna into a corner and
        is chopping away!"

Baboon: "And the Kahuna retaliates by shoving the Re-Animator halfway across
         the ring!  What a show of strength!"

Robby: "Kahuna charging the Re-Animator... no!  The Re-Animator with a
        clothesline!  And now he's picking the Big Kahuna up... suplex!"

Baboon: "From eight or nine feet in the air!  Imagine the impact coming down
         on that one!"

Robby: "The Re-Animator scoops him up and slams him to the mat!  And another
        body slam!  He's trying to send the Kahuna through the mat!"

Baboon: "But the Big Kahuna rolls away from a splash!  What intestinal
         fortitude!  Kahuna going outside the ring."

Robby: "That coward!  But the Re-Animator follows him out!  He grabs the
        Kahuna by the hair to ram him face first into the steel barricade!"

Baboon: "The Kahuna blocks it!  He grabs a cola from a kid in the front row
         and throws it in the Re-Animator's face!"

Robby: "I know this is a no disqualification match, but when will that surfer
        do a legal move?"

Baboon: "Look what the Re-Animator's doing.  He's hiding behind Val Lee so
         T.B. can't get a clean shot at him!"

Robby: "And now Re-Animator is stooping to the Kahuna's level of tactics!"

Baboon: "Please!  Val Lee just maced the Re-Animator!  And now T.B. Kahuna
         has a clear shot at him!  Clothesline!"

Robby: "Don't the surfer and his groupie ever play fair?"

Baboon: "Val Lee isn't a groupie, she's a manager!"

Robby: "She isn't smart enough to manage!  She's only in his corner because
        of her looks!"

Baboon: "The Re-Animator grabs a chair and slams the Kahuna with it!  DDT on
         the chair!"

Robby: "It's over for the Kahuna!  But the Re-Animator isn't letting up!  He's
        going to piledrive Kahuna on the chair!"

Baboon: "Malibu is coming to the ring!"

Robby: "Wham!  That could have just snapped the Kahuna's neck!"

Baboon: "Malibu pushing the Re-Animator away from the downed Kahuna!"

Robby: "What stupidity on the part of Malibu!  His leg isn't 100% yet.
        Even Val Lee could beat him up!"

Baboon: "Malibu waves his crutch at the Re-Animator, and the Re-Animator is
         retreating to the Butcher to discuss this turn of events!"

Robby: "Malibu is helping the Big Kahuna back to his feet.  Meanwhile the
        Re-Animator is back in the ring.  Why haven't they been counted out?"

Baboon: "The referee never had control in this match, Robby.  The Re-Animator
         suplexes the Big Kahuna into the ring!"

Robby: "But the Big Kahuna gets out of the ring before the Re-Animator can
        do any damage!  What a coward!"

Baboon: "And Malibu is helping the Kahuna back to his feet and back into the
         ring."

Robby: "Re-Animator is biting his opponent!  Yeah!  A whip off the ropes..."

Baboon: "Kahuna grabs the ropes and climbs out of the ring!  The Re-Animator
         is upset, and he's coming out of the ring too!"

Robby: "But the Big Kahuna just rolled back into the ring!  Why can't he make
        up his mind?"

Baboon: "And the Re-Animator comes back into the ring too...  Clothesline
         by the Big Kahuna!  Elbow drop!  The Big Kahuna is on a roll!"

Robby: "He just threw the Re-Animator into the turnbuckles, and he's charging
        in..."

Baboon: "Big shoulder block by the Big Kahuna!  The Re-Animator goes down!"

Robby: "The Big Kahuna is going for a body slam... no!  He couldn't get him
        up!"

Baboon: "He must have hurt his back doing that, and his back is going to hurt
         even more!  Boston Crab by the Re-Animator!"

Robby: "It's over!  The Big Kahuna is going to submit!"

Baboon: "If he can just reach the ropes..."

Robby: "The Big Kahuna has submitted!"

Dink: "Here is your winner, and NEW Americas' Champion, the Re-Animator!"

Baboon: "No!  We can't have him representing North, South and Central
         America!"

Robby: "But we do!  The Re-Animator is the new champion!  He put the belt
        around the ropes...  A big splash on the Kahuna's back!  That could
        have snapped the Big Kahuna's back!  And he's putting the Boston Crab
        back on!  There won't be a rematch if this keeps up!"

Baboon: "Malibu rolls into the ring!  He clobbers the Re-Animator with his
         crutch, and the Re-Animator is getting out of town!"

Robby: "Why did Malibu waste that crutch?  The Big Kahuna is going to need
        it!"

Baboon: "You're demented.  Let's go to Wince McLady for an update!"

Wince: "Thank you, Baboon.  First, the WeWF Summer League is almost full.
        Only a few more wrestlers are needed, and we can always have
        alternates.  The World Champion for the Summer League will be "Irish"
        Mike Flint, who will continue to defend his title.  The Law will
        also carry over their tag team titles.  The U.S. Title will be up
        for grabs, and will be given to the winner of a tournament.

The Summit of E-Wrestling is scheduled for July 10-12, so start
        thinking about your matches.  The first day will be a regular card,
        with inter-federation matches!  The second day will have a battle
        royal and more inter-federation matches!  On the third day, there
        will be a tag team tournament!  We'll let you know more details
        as they come up."

Baboon: "How about that, Lame?  Three days of inter-federation competion!"

Robby: "I've heard rumors that there will be inter-federation title defenses,
        Tempest, and here's my early prediction for the main event on the
        first day: Bjorn "the Sweedish Pretzel", who will by then have
        beaten "Irish" Mike Flint for the WeWF World Title, against
        Sergeant Sledge Hammer."

Baboon: "Live from Supercard 4, this is Baboon Tempest..."

Robby: "... and Robby the Lame, the great wrestling analyst, color commentator
        extraordinaire, a great humanitarian -"

Baboon (interrupting): "Don't overdo it, Lame.  So long, everyone!"