WeWF Report #21

From: arxt@quads.uchicago.edu (Aidan Palmer)

Date: Sat, 25 May 1991 02:17:51 +0000

WeWF Report #21			5/19/21

The General Regains World Belt!

The General beat DiMadMan to regain the World Title!  This is the third
time he has held the belt!  The only other three time World Champion is
Volcano, the first WeWF Champ.  DiMadMan lost his first match by DQ, then
beat "Irish" Mike Flint before he lost to the General.  Next week, the
General will defend against DiMadMan, the Big Kahuna, new champ BudMan,
Bjorn "the Sweedish Pretzel" and "Irish" Mike Flint!

BudMan Ends Flint's Title Reign!

BudMan, with the help of a foreign object, beat "Irish" Mike Flint for the
Eurasia Title!  Flint had held the belt for over a month!  How long can
BudMan hold the belt?

Highlanders Retain Titles!

The Highlanders beat both of their challengers this week to hold onto the
Tag Team Titles.  They also hold the Six Man Titles along with the masked
man who is still unknown!  This week they beat former champs Flint and
Steel and the Terror Technicians.

Supercard News

So far, as far as I know, no Supercard matches have been signed!  However,
several challenges are being discussed.

TCS Delayed, Team Still Missing

I haven't sent out the TCS Report yet in hopes that someone will fill the
Elementals spot.  The Hoosiers have replaced the Battle Cruisers, but there
are still four roster spaces open.  If you want to join, please let me know.

Send me your matches/comments by 5/26/91!

Matches This Week

World Title:

The Big Kahuna beat DiMadMan by DQ.
DiMadMan pinned "Irish" Mike Flint.
The General barely pinned DiMadMan.
The General barely pinned the Re-Animator.
The General pinned Mr. Roddy.

Tag Team Titles:

The Highlanders pinned the Terror Technicians.
The Highlanders pinned Flint and Steel.

Continental Titles:

The Plaid Powerhouse beat the Big Kahuna by DQ.
The Big Kahuna survived the Re-Animator.
The Big Kahuna beat Lord Roderick.

BudMan beat "Irish" Mike Flint.
BudMan beat the Millionaire.

Bjorn "the Sweedish Pretzel" barely pinned Mr. Roddy.
Bjorn "the Sweedish Pretzel" dominated Nanook of the North.

Individual Matches:

The General beat "Irish" Mike Flint.
Darth Vader beat R.U. Reddy.
Khan Noonian Singh beat Val Amorr.
The Crusher beat Thanos.
Darkseid the Destroyer beat Wizard.
The Grim Reaper beat Lord Roderick.
The Grim Reaper pinned Mr. Roddy.
Virus destroyed Grunk the Barbarian.
Venom beat Yin.
Venom dominated Yang.
Max Altitude barely pinned "The Wild Thing" Brett Miller.
The Grim Reaper dominated the Secret Agent Man.
The Secret Agent Man survived Action Man.
The Savage survived the Secret Agent Man.
The Secret Agent Man survived Pain.
The Grim Reaper annihilated Wizard.
Action Man beat Wizard.
Volcano annihilated Wizard.
Master barely pinned Thanos.
Master pinned Lar Gand.
Master barely pinned Nanook of the North.
Nanook of the North pinned Yin.
Nanook of the North beat Yang.
"The Wild Thing" Brett Miller barely pinned Nanook of the North.
The Dutch Hooligan dominated Sour Krout.
Volcano survived the Dutch Hooligan.
The Dutch Hooligan dominated the Savage.
Tom "the Animal" Brown survived the Dutch Hooligan.
The Dutch Hooligan dominated Darth Vader.
The Flying Dutchman pinned the Neutralizer.
The Flying Dutchman beat the Hit 'N' Run Rabbi.
The Flying Dutchman dominated the Savage.
The Flying Dutchman annihilated Wizard.
The Flying Dutchman barely pinned the Re-Animator.
The Flying Dutchman dominated Sour Krout.
Slimm pinned Sour Krout.
Mr. B survived Sour Krout.
The General beat Slimm.
The General destroyed Juggernaut.
The Plaid Powerhouse barely pinned Mr. Roddy in a Stretcher Match.
BudMan pinned Lord Roderick in a Blindfold Match.
Yin pinned R.U. Reddy.
Yang barely pinned R.U. Reddy.
Virus pinned the Neutralizer.
The Neutralizer pinned Galactus.
The Neutralizer pinned Lord Roderick.
The General pinned the Neutralizer.
The Neutralizer beat Lar Gand.
The Plaid Powerhouse barely pinned the Crusher.
The Plaid Powerhouse beat Mr. B.
The Crusher pinned the Hit 'N' Run Rabbi.
The Hit 'N' Run Rabbi barely pinned Mr. B.
The Re-Animator barely pinned the Neutralizer.
BudMan beat Mr. B.
BudMan beat the Secret Agent Man.
The Flying Dutchman pinned BudMan.
The Flying Dutchman dominated the Savage.
The Savage survived Mr. B.
"Irish" Mike Flint beat Yin.
Frank Steel dominated Yang.
Nanook of the North pinned Sasquatch.
Johann "Great Dane" Svenson dominated Sasquatch.
Lar Gand barely pinned Sasquatch.
Galactus pinned Sasquatch.
Lord Roderick beat Sasquatch.

Tag Team Matches:

The Terror Technicians barely pinned the New Gods.
The New Gods barely pinned the Maniacs.
The Law survived the New Gods.
The 007 Special beat Alpha and Omega.
RnR pinned Alpha and Omega.
The Hoosiers dominated Alpha and Omega.
The New Gods pinned Alpha and Omega.
The Steel Monkeys pinned Alpha and Omega.
The Steel Monkeys barely pinned the Maniacs.
RnR barely pinned the Maniacs.
Fire and Ice pinned the Maniacs.
The Hoosiers destroyed the Siamese Twins.
The Hoosiers beat Fire and Ice.
Flint and Steel beat the Siamese Twins (1st match).
Flint and Steel beat the Siamese Twins (2nd match).
The Intoxicators beat the Steel Monkeys.
The 007 Special barely pinned the Steel Monkeys.
The Intoxicators beat the 007 Special.
The Exterminators pinned the 007 Special.
The Maniacs beat the Law by DQ.

Six Man Matches:

The Three Man Wrecking Crew barely pinned the Bermuda Triangle.
The Superstars barely pinned the Three Man Wrecking Crew.

WeWF Wrestler Rankings

World Champion:			The General (75-33-1)

Tag Team Champions:		The Highlanders (26-11)

Americas Champion:		The Big Kahuna (17-5)
Eurasia Champion:		BudMan (48-12-2)
Africa/Australia Champion:	Bjorn "the Sweedish Pretzel" (36-16-1)

Six-Man Champions:		Apocalypse Now (9-1)

1. Frank Steel (78-25-4)
2. DiMadMan (45-14-1)
3. Virus (46-16)
4. "Irish" Mike Flint (58-29-3)
5. The Re-Animator (34-11-2)
6. The Flying Dutchman (55-34-2)
7. The Plaid Powerhouse (30-11)
8. The Crusher (44-26)
9. The Neutralizer (48-33-4)
10. Mr. Roddy (48-36-2)
11. The Savage (24-10-1)
12. Dutch Hooligan (33-23)
13. The Grim Reaper (17-8)
14. Venom (13-4-1)
15. Max Altitude (12-4)
16. Sour Krout (19-12)
17. Tom "the Animal" Brown (17-10)
18. The Hit 'N' Run Rabbi (10-3)
19. Volcano (43-39-2)
20. Khan Noonian Singh (6-3)
21. Master (4-5)
22. Juggernaut (33-35-1)
23. Action Man (4-6)
24. Thanos (4-6)
25. Grunk the Barbarian (2-5)
26. Darkseid the Destroyer (3-7)
27. The Millionaire (16-21-2)
28. Pain (12-17-1)
29. Wizard (3-8)
30. Slimm (6-12-1)
31. Yin (1-7)
32. Yang (1-7)
33. The Secret Agent Man (8-16)
34. Darth Vader (3-11-1)
35. Val Amorr (1-9)
36. Mr. B (10-19-1)
37. Johann "Great Dane" Svenson (10-21)
38. Lar Gand (10-22)
39. Galactus (5-17)
40. Lord Roderick (23-37-3)
41. Nanook of the North (25-40-1)
42. Sasquatch (6-41-1)

Tag Teams:

1. Flint and Steel (54-22-1)		Frank Steel and "Irish" Mike Flint
2. The Law (23-5)			Judge Dredd and Judge Anderson
3. The Intoxicators (22-8-1)		BudMan and DiMadMan
4. The Terror Technicians (17-7)	Pain and Virus
5. The Exterminators (17-8)		The Enforcer and the Law Maker
6. New Gods (8-5)			Thanos and Darkseid
7. The Hoosiers (3-0)			Erik and Daemon
8. Alpha and Omega (14-12)		Alpha and Omega
9. The Maniacs (28-29-1)		Maniac #1 and Maniac #2
10. Steel Monkeys (5-9)			Monkey #1 and Monkey #2
11. Siamese Twins (1-7)			Yin and Yang
12. Fire and Ice (8-18-1)		Volcano and the Iceman
13. RnR (9-21-2)			Lord Roderick and Mr. Roddy

Six-Man Teams:

1. The Abattoir (7-4)
2. Capital Punishment (3-2)
3. The Superstars (6-6)
4. The Union Shop (3-3)
5. The Down-Under Decking Crew (2-2)
6. The Three Man Wrecking Crew (1-2)
7. Bermuda Triangle (0-2)

Did Not Compete:

Ahpook the Destroyer (13-9)
Albert Turing (8-11-1)
Black Tiger (18-12-1)
"Crusher" Cootus (3-4)
The Eradicator (4-2-1)
Ferro Lad (3-7)
The Frozen Caveman (6-7-1)
The Iceman (18-24)
Mathie Man Riemann Savage (4-4)
Mort Rue, the Merciless (0-5)
Mr. Fujikuchi (3-10)
The Salivating Sadducee (6-8)
Skrog the Marauder's Dragon (13-15)
Ultra Boy (17-20)

The Bruise Brothers (2-4)
Chilled Fury (3-5)
The Class of 2964 (5-7)
The Dynamic Machine (18-17-1)
The Legion of Super Wrestlers (9-17-1)

Comments

"The Wild Boy is back! You know, a lot of people were saying I'd never walk
again, much less wrestle--people like doctors, other wreslters, that slimy Robby
the Lame--well I'm here to prove that they were wrong! And, you know, the first
thing I see when I come back is a couple of Kung-Fu movie rejects trying to
buy the Federation! Mitsubishi Zero, lemme tell you--it isn't gonna happen! Not
if I have to take apart your stinking "Corporation" by myself!  The General
challenged Sushi Sashimi for the Supercard, and now I'm challenging the Siamese
Twins to a tag match against me!  Frank Steel, I'm asking you to be my partner
in this match--I have a lot of respect for you, and if anyone can take down a
corporation, it's you, the ultimate Union man! Siamese Twins, Sushi Sashimi,
are you ready for R.U. Reddy!?" -"The Wild Boy" R.U. Reddy

"Smooth and the 4 corners.  You know, we never had a major problem with
you guys.  But after the battle royal.  Now we got a major problem.  I don't
care about the $100,000.  Now all I care about is getting you out of the
WeWF.  You crossed the line, and you will pay for it"--Keith Skar

During the match with Bjorn, Nanook hit Bjorn with his spear while
his manager (Shaman) distracted the referee.  When Shaman threw some 'magic
dust' in Bjorn's eyes while Nanook and Bjorn were grappling in Nanook's corner,
Smooth pushed him from behind, the and dust went into the referee's face!  While
the referee was blinded, Smooth handed Bjorn brass knuckles, and he knocked
Nanook out and pinned.

"I am prepared to fight fire with FIRE.  There are some people in the
WeWF that should be watching their backs."--Lord Roderick

During their tag match with Flint and Steel the Siamese Twins hit Flint and
Steel with Mistubishi Zero's weighted briefcase!  "The Wild Thing" Brett Miller
ran to the ring and clobbered Zero, while Flint and Steel knocked the briefcase
away from the Twins!

"One thing on my mind.  Revenge.  It will be sweet."--Mr. Roddy

During his title match against "Irish" Mike Flint, BudMan slipped something
into his mask, headbutted Flint, and pinned him!

Baboon:  This is Baboon Tempest here, with the General.  General, I have
to say that I was impressed with the debut of your new team, the
Hoosiers.

General:  Thanks Baboon.  I was impressed that they were able to
directly knock out 2 of the 4 corners, and indirectly knock out
the other 2.  Even still, they weren't able to bring it all home.
We're going to be working on ways to improve them.

Baboon:  What do you see in the future of these guys?

General:  In the immediate future, I'm going to get these guys some
experience, and have them help me know Mitsubishi and his clan out
of the federation.

Baboon:  I see.  I notice you have become rather hot under the
collar with respect to those guys.

General:  They can get talk and talk and talk, but it's time to
put up or shut up.  I'll take care of Sushi Sashimi on the next
supercard.  That is, if he's man enough to meet me.

Baboon:  What are your long term plans for these guys?

General:  Well, I'd eventually like to see them take on the Highlanders
for the tag belts.  That might be a little while off, though.  I also
see the possibility of Continental titles in the future of these
guys.  Who knows, maybe even a world belt is in the future of these guys.

Baboon:  I do say they have show a lot of potential between the two of
them,  for such young men.

General:  Once again, Baboon, you're right.  They aren't 40 between them.
They have a bright future.  One thing that I'd like to close with, is you
Robby the Lame.  I haven't forgotten about you.

Baboon:  Well, this is Baboon Tempest closing out with one of the greatest
wrestlers in the history of the federation, the General.

Flint: Well, the Siamese Twins seem to think that they can come into the
WeWF and take over, well you may have taken over the steel industry and the
car industry, well that was management's fault and the working man didn't
have a chance to prevent it, well now us management types have got a chance
to prevent it and that's what me and Frank plan on doing, keeping you guys
from taking over the WeWF.

Steel: Four Corners, just because we're going after Japan Inc. dosen't
mean that we've forgotten about you, just taking a little break, but don't
worry we'll be back.

Molly (with a little bit of hair): Well General I guess that with this little
bit of hair I look a little bit like your friend the Shark.

"Flint and Steel.  You gentlemen both pretty much destroyed me in our
matches last week.  But it just proves my theory.  You 2 are the best
in the WeWF."--Millionaire

Nanook of the North stands in front of an arctic scene, holding his spear and
bear trap high and staring glassy-eyed into the camera.  Around him dancing
and chanting is Shaman.  Shaman finishes his performance and addresses the
camera.

Shaman:  Tom "The Animal" Brown, you very lucky at SuperCard.  You had help of
  5 other wrestlers, before you beat Nanook.  Beware Mr. Brown, next
  time you not be lucky.  Shaman cook up something new for you, and
  Nanook catch you in Leg-Hold Trap!!

Nanook vowed to rid WeWF of animals, but as some leave, more come in.
         The latest is 'Monkey #1' and 'Monkey #2'.  Nanook try to track you,
         but President Palmer say "Nanook can't have contract, they only fight
         as tag-team".  I tell President "Nanook don't need tag-team, he hunt
         alone."  But President not let Nanook hunt Monkeys alone, "against
         the rules" he say.  Well 'Steel Monkeys', Shaman has cooked surprise
         for you.  Nanook has partner, you find out in Tag-Team Battle Royal.
         After that, 'Northern Lights' hunt you down and shake you out of
         trees.

Shaman looks back up at Nanook, who has stood motionless the entire time, not
blinking.

Shaman:  Right Nanook?

Nanook:   Unnnnnnnh.

Camera fades out...

Flint and Steel found a briefcase filled with $5000 in their lockerroom
after a match.

During the Law/Maniacs match Machiavelli hit Simon Bolendorf several times
with his cane.  Machiavelli stopped when the Maniacs came of of the ring to save
The Law followed them out of the ring and beat the Maniacs up on the concrete!
The Law was disqualified when Machiavelli bashed one of the Maniacs with his
cane!