PWGeA Report # 5 From: laramee@IRO.UMontreal.CA (Dominic Laramee) Date: Thu, 23 May 1991 01:43:09 +0000 PWGeA REPORT #5 ----- ------ -- Magilla: "Hello, everyone, and welcome to another PWGeA Report. This week's edition will be short and sweet, because there have been relatively few matches and even fewer interviews since the SuperCard! In fact, we only have 1 interview, in the Spider's Web. Take it away, Black Widow!" --------------------------------------------------------------------------- THE SPIDER'S WEB *** ******** *** Tholian: "Well, well, well! I didn't do bad at all, at the SuperCard, for an old man, huh???? (cheers). Here's a man who can't say that much about himself: The Black Knight!" (BK walks in, wearing his usual Black armor and mask and gloves, to jeers from the crowd.) Tholian: "So, loser, what do you have to say?" BK: 'Cowboy, you were the man to eliminate me at SuperCard, but it took all three of you to wear me down far enough. Do you think you're man enough to face me alone? And you other two losers, Hammer and Windsor, for all your talk, you're just commen men, like you said. Well, no one gets to reach the heights by being common. The Baron isn't common. The Sheriff isn't common. And neither am I. That's why our kind always ascends to power, just the way we did at SuperCard. And we'll continue to be in power in the weeks to come. So get ready to face the might of The Black Knight!' Tholian: "Yeah, right! The Cowboy will pin you in record time, and then he will finally be in the Top 5! Back to you Magilla!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Magilla: "Jimmy Vendetta is at my side, proudly wearing a paper bag over his head. Tough luck, heh, Jimmy!" Jimmy: "You shut up, Mongoose! The Black Widow applied a blatant chokehold on me, and that's the only reason why I didn't beat him!" Magilla: "Hum, that Sleeper looked pretty good to me..." Jimmy: "Only because you are as blind as Dave Hebner!" Magilla: "However, the referees in the PWGeA are not blind, as we had a chance to learn during the match between Rick Dangerous and Mr. Mercury, for the North American heavyweight title. Let's join that match in progress" ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- (The crowd is on their feet, cheering for the challenger...) Magilla: ".... Mr. Mercury, manhandling the champion!... Back Drop by Mercury!.... He picks Dangerous up, whips him tot he ropes... BANG! MERCURY POISONING!" Gord-Yan: "This is the most devastating dropkick I have ever seen, Maggie!" Magilla: "Indeed! Mr. Mercury going to the top rope.... HEY! WHAT IS JOHNNY VICIOUS DOING HERE?" Jimmy: "Good ol' teamwork, Mongoose!" Magilla: "Johnny Vicious nails Mr. Mercury from behind with brass knuckles! Mercury is unconscious, in the middle of the ring! Ricky Dangerous covers him.... But the referee disqualifies the champion!" Coward: "The winner of this bout.... MR. MERCURY!!!" Magilla: "Unfortunately, Dangerous will keep the belt!" ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Magilla: "On the heels of that incident, the President of the PWGeA sent us this telegram... (clears his voice).... 'After careful analysis of the events that occured during the North American title match between Mr Mercury and Rick Dangerous, it is our opinion that Mr Mercury deserves a return match, and that it would be fair to do everything in our power to make sure that the match will be free of undue interruptions. Ricky Dangerous will therefore defend the belt against Mr Mercury again, next week, in a Steel Cage match!'" Jimmy: "HAHAHAHAHA! And you think that Mercury can beat Ricky in a steel cage? HAHAHAHAH!" Magilla: "We'll see next week! Let's go to Sunn Mooner for the results of several other matches..." -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sunn: "Thank you! In the best match of the week, Death and Destruction barely pinned Club Anarchy in 11:19! Destruction cliched the victory when he pinned Dr Lethe with the cradle superplex! Brewster Cogburn had an easy time against PowerChief, whom he pinned with the Bulldog Supreme in 5:37. In a non-title match, The Masked Missiles destroyed the Russians in 3:17. In a "Somebody Has To Win" match, Johnny Vicious pinned The Bobcat, Paul Handler, in 6:06, after delivering three piledrivers on the concrete floor! The Wolfman upset the Cavalier, Bobby Windsor, in 3:31! And in a match for the All-Jobber belt, Baron Von Klaw defeated the Cavalier in 3:13, with the Klaw Hold!" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Magilla: "This result just in: Sargent Sledge Hammer pinned Destruction to keep the World belt, in 3:43!" Jimmy: "And the last match of the week pitted the Masked Missiles against the former champions, The Criminals, for the tag-team belts!" Magilla: "It's CRIME AND PUNISHMENT, Jimmy! Let's join that action in progress!" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- (Both teams are exhausted from a fast-paced match...) Magilla: "... Inferno Craig Sommers is on his back; Tomahawk climbs the top rope, he is ready for the Mighty Tomahawk Elbow Drop... He lifts off... OOH! Inferno rolls away, and Tomahawk hurts himself!... Inferno crawling into his corner... TAG!" Jimmy: "Slammer is much fresher than Tomahawk, let's see if he can take advantage of it!" Magilla: "Slammer all over Tomahawk with kicks and clotheslines!... He picks him up... Gorilla Presses him onto the Patriot, who falls down on the floor!... Slammer picks up Tomahawk again AND SIGNALS FOR THE SUPERSLAM!!!...." Jimmy: "This could be the end of the Masked Missiles as champions!" Magilla: "Slammer climbing to the top rope... BAM! SUPERSLAM! HE COVERS! ONE... TWO... THREE!!!!" Coward: "The winners, in 8:18, and NEW PWGeA Tag-Team Champions, CRIME AND PUNISHMENT!!!!" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Magilla: "Crima and Punishment are now two-time tag-team champions of the world! How about that, Jimmy?" Jimmy: "Good! Now, they can promptly lose the belts to the Shadow Assassins!" Magilla: "Oh, puh-lease! Well, since we didn't have too many matches this week, we are not going to publish new rankings; that will have to wait until next time." Jimmy: "We do have title matches this week, though: let's hear Mooner!" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sunn: "Thanks, gentlemen! We already know that Mr Mercury will face Rick Dangerous for the North American Title, in a cage! Crime and Punishment, the Tag-team champions of the world, will defend their belts against the former champions, the Missiles! Sargent Sledge Hammer will defend the World Title against the man who pinned him at the SuperCard, Baron Von Klaw! If Baron Von Klaw wins the World Title, the All-Jobber belt will be decided in a match between Lanny Horowitz and The Wolfman; if not, Baron will defend against the Wolfman!" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Magilla: "Any predictions, Jimmy?" Jimmy: "Yeah! I'm ecstatic that the Baron will get a shot at Sludge Hammer! He will cause the upset of the century and win the belt! Rick Dangerous will obviously destroy Mr Mercury in that cage! Wolfman will take the vacant All-Jobber title from Lanny Horowitz, and Crime and Punishment will successfully defend the tag-team titles!" Magilla: "That's what's coming this week; see you next Monday, folks!" ************************************************************************** EDITOR'S NOTES: 1) For this week, I will accept matches until Thursday night at 5 PM 2) After next Monday, the PWGeA will suspend its activities for one week (I'll be out of town). 3) At the end of June, the WeWF and the PWGeA will present a Summit of e-wrestling, a multi-card event where wrestlers from both federations will fight for the glory of their home leagues! If you want to know more about the WeWF, eavesdrop on rec.games.pbm! Negociations have started with the fledgling NeWA and the EMWA to have them join the fest! More in the weeks to come! Up