PWGeA Report #8

From: laramee@IRO.UMontreal.CA (Dominic Laramee)

Date: Sun, 16 Jun 1991 17:12:55 +0000

PWGeA REPORT # 8
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Magilla: "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to this week's
	edition of the PWGeA Report. The Summit of e-wrestling is closing
	in at full speed, and taking up much of the spare time of all the
	crew here, so we do not have any Feature Matches this week."

Jimmy: "And that's sad because we had a week of unending turmoil in this
	federation, with many title changes!"

Magilla: "You are right, Jimmy; Sunn Mooner has a full match report coming
	up, but before that, let's go the Patriot, standing by in the
	Launching Pad."

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**** THE LAUNCHING PAD *****

Patriot: "Welcome to my new talk-show. My guest this week is the PWGeA
	All-Jobber champion, the Wolfman!"

(Some cheers by the most wacko fans.)

Patriot: "Wolfie, is it true that you have agreed to defend the PWGeA
	All-Jobber title against a WeWF challenger at the Summit of e-wrestling,
	provided of course that you still hold that title on the 10th of
	July?"

Wolfman: "Growl! ARRRRRGH! (Nods)"

Patriot: "Hum, very interesting. You would not happen to be BudMan's secret
	intelligent brother, would you?"

Wolfman (with an evil look): "ARRRRRGGHHHH! BUDMAN!!!!! ARGHHHHH!"

Patriot: "I guess not, after all... Speaking of the Summit, will you also
	participate in other events?"

Wolfman: "GRRRRR!!! YYYEEEAAAARRRRRRGGG!"

Patriot: "The big battle royal, of course. And who is going to be your main
	target at the Battle Royal?"

Wolfman (shows a picture of Jimmy Vendetta, and then starts ripping it to
pieces, eating most of the parts in the process): "YYYYAAAAAEEEEEEERRRRRRRRGGH!"

Patriot: "Well, thank you for your enlightening comments, Wolfman; anybody
	who wants to be on this show can send mail to the PWGeA Headquarters.
	See you next week!"

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Magilla: "How about that, Jimmy? In addition to the Tholian Black Widow, you
	will also have the Wolfman hot on your trail at the Summit Battle
	Royal!"

Jimmy: "No sweat, Mongoose, my pals the Shadow Assassins will be watching my
	back. And in fact, I would love to smash teh Wolfman to pieces
	myself, so that Baron Von Klaw can regain the All-Jobber belt
	easily."

Magilla: "I still think that you will take the beating of your life, Jimmy;
	for now, let's go to the PWGeA Event Center."

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Sunn: "Sunn Mooner at the Event Center with the complete match report for
	Week 8 of the PWGeA.

Bobby "The Cavalier" Windsor defeated Tomahawk in 7:33.

Professor Spewmaster made his return to the PWGeA, and faced
	Soviet Panther in a cage match. Spewmaster scored the upset win
	in 6:51. After the match, Soviet Bear entered the cage with the
	Zampolit, and they triple-teamed Spewmaster until the Wolfman
	rushed the scene and cleaned house, busting Bear's forehead
	open with the All-Jobber belt!

Plague Dog defeated Lightning Bolt in 9:45.

Sword and Shield defeated The Androgynes in 16:41, in what must have
	been the most beautiful e-wresling match of the decade. Angus
	Campbell and Jake Shield scored a mind-boggling 118 hype points in
	that match!

Billy Thunder, of London, England, made a succesful debut when he
	beat Brewster Cogburn  in 6:50.

Club Anarchy won the PWGeA Tag-team titles from Crime nad Punishment,
	in 12:50. This was the Club's third straight win!

Bobby Windsor defeated the Wolfman to become the third PWGeA
	All-Jobber champion. The Cavalier needed only 58 seconds to capture
	the title.

Sledge Hammer defended teh World title with success by beating
	Mr Mercury in 9:41. Mercury came within inches of winning the
	belt at least four times.

Bad week for Mr Mercury, who also lost the North American title
	to Cowboy Kevin Puckett. Mercury submitted to the spinning toehold
	in 16:41.

And finally, Sledge Hammer lost the World title after seven weeks
	on the top of the world! Ford Firepower, who is really taking the
	PWGeA by storm, captured the gold in 9:19!

RANKINGS:

WORLD CHAMPION: Ford Firepower		2-0	41
NORTH AMERICAN CHAMP: Cowboy Kevin	6-2	51.74
ALL-JOBBER CHAMP: Bobby Windsor		5-6 	35.50

1. Billy Thunder			1-0	51
2. Mr Mercury				7-3	44.88
3. Plague Dog				3-5	43.54
4. Sargent Sledge Hammer		14-2	34.26
5. Prof. Spewmaster			2-3	34.13
6. Tomahawk				1-1	24
7. Brewster Cogburn			2-4	13.6
8. Wolfman				6-4	12.15
9. Lightning Bolt			0-2	11

Did not compete:

Aztec Mummy				0-1	0
Black Knight				3-6	32.41
Johnny Vicious				3-2	27
Baron Von Klaw				7-4	18.16
Sargent Glasnost			4-4	13.46
Ricky Dangerous				3-3	27.12

WORLD TAG-TEAM CHAMPIONS: Club Anarchy	3-5	75.96

1. Sword and Shield			2-1-1	85.38
2. Crime and Punishment			9-4-1	32.98
3. The Androgynes			0-2	22

Did not compete:

Shadow Assassins			2-3	41.2
The Soviets				2-3	40.6
La Corrida				0-1	15
Hammer and Sickle			0-0	0

So, next week's title shots will be:

Ford Firepower vs Billy Thunder for the World Title
Cowboy Kevin Puckett vs Mr Mercury for the North American belt
Bobby Windsor vs Prof. Spewmaster for the All-Jobber title
Club Anarchy vs Sword ans Shield for the tag-team belts"

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Magilla: "Wow! ALL the belts changed hands!"

Jimmy: "With this caliber of competition, you never know what is gonna happen
	in a given week, Mongoose."

Magilla: "Indeed not! Now, a fews words on the Summit of E-Wrestling. So far,
	we have 14 teams in the tournament, 27 people in the Battle Royal,
	and 6 other matches confirmed. There is still some room, but not
	much, so hurry up!"

Jimmy: "And don't forget that you can challenge opponents from the WeWF and
	the EMWA, not only from the PWGeA!"

Magilla: "So that's it for today, see you next week, and keep the matches
	pouring in!"