WeWF Summer Report 2

From: arxt@quads.uchicago.edu (Aidan Palmer)

Date: Thu, 13 Jun 1991 14:45:29 +0000

WeWF Summer Report #2        6/12/91

Baboon: "It's time for another report from the front lines of the WeWF!  We'll
    be bringing you all the action, so stay right there!"

Wince: "Indeed!  And this week we've got some big title matches: "Irish" Mike
    Flint defending the World Title against BudMan, Bjorn "the Sweedish Pretzel"
    defending the US Title against the General, and the Law defending the Tag
    Team Title against the Hoosiers!"

Baboon: "Plus other great matches!  We'll be talking to all the superstars, and
    we'll hear match results from Lord Winfred Vague."

Robby: "And of course there's me, providing insights on all the current events!"

Baboon: "To get things started, I've invited the General to come out here."

Robby: "Hello, 911?"

Wince: "Put that phone down!"

Robby: "Stall him, McLady!  I'm going to go get... a restraining order!"

Wince: "I guess he's still sore about what happened to him last week."

Baboon: "General, you're up against Bjorn "The Sweedish Pretzel", the man who
beat you in the US tournament!  What are your feelings towards this match?"

General: "Well, Baboon, there's not much I can do differently, except
go out there and give it my all.  I can wear him down, and eventually
beat him.  Maybe this time, maybe next time, eventually I'll get him!"

Baboon: "Do you have aspirations to a record 4th world title reign?"

General: "It's hard to say Baboon.  I'll take things one step at a time.
I'm getting my rhythm back after the shakeup I had a couple weeks back.
I whooped the Romulan Mauler in my first match since of the summer,
and also won two matches of the US title tournament.  Everything isn't
quite there yet, but I'm working on it."

Baboon: "I've got to ask you about your choice of challenging the Romulan
Mauler...  He's a fan favorite, and so are you.  Is this a change of
attitude for the General?"

General: "You know that I don't play to the crowds, Baboon.  I've beaten
the Four Corners, and I've also beaten Flint and Steel.  Titles and self
respect are what I'm after.  Some fans like me, and the ones that don't,
they can <bleeeeeep>.  And besides that, I think that trekkie Mauler
should get a life!"

Baboon: "Harsh words, General!  I noticed that your match with Tom
"the Animal" Brown almost got out of hand.  Rumor has it that he's
looking for a partner to come after you.  What do you think of that?"

General: "Tom "the Anismell" Brown is a lousy excuse for a wrestler.
He has the technique of a watermellon.  When was the last time you
saw him do a wretling move?  He can't compete on my level by any
stretch of the imagination.  I pinned him in the middle of the ring
after nailing him with the Hoosier Homecoming.  His lights were out,
end of story."

Baboon: "More harsh words.  You had better watch your back, General."

General: "I have a couple tricks up my sleeve too...  Now Baboon, I
have a question for you...  Did you ever get to the bottom of the
mess with Robby the Lame last week?"

Baboon: "I'm sorry General, but I haven't been able to uncover whoever
did this.  I have my hunches about the Four Corners, but I really
don't know...  I'll keep on it, and until next time, this is Babbon
Tempest with WeWF great, the General."

Green Jean: "This is Green Jean Oktoberfest outside the Big Kahuna's dressing
    room.  I'm hoping to get a response from T.B. and Val Lee to Molly Maguire's
    statement last week.

Val Lee: "Like take a chill there Molly, I mean like gosh, ya know?  Last time I
    like checked we were on the same side ok?  Wow, talk about short fuse, ok?
    Anyway, like, I think our men should be pulling together to ditch those
    neo-maxie zoom dweebies, The Four Corners, not tearing each other apart.
    Like Ya know?  So like, let's get it together babe?  We could like do
    raw fish."

T.B.: "Steel, Flint, what's up dudes?  I thought you were the class of this
    concrete beach man?  So like what's the scoop dudes?  I'm totally spaced out
    here.  We're at each others throats like locs and Vals when we should
    be teamin' up and hangin' ten on the cool side of the surf man.  I'm
    tellin' ya dudes, it could be a most excellent high if we teamed up and
    wiped out the Four Corners for good dudes.  Kowabunga Man!"

Val: "So like we're issuing a challenge right now, T.B., Flint, and Steel and
    and anyone other man with enough like, guts, to ya know stand in the
    ring against the Four Corners in a wargames match."

T.B.: "Dudes this is the chance of a lifetime.  We'll crash down on those
    losers soooo massively that they'll be lickin' their wounds for life."

Wince: "An interesting turn of events!"

Robby: "Fer shure!  They want to team up with somebody who challenged them
    to a match?  They ARE as dumb as they look!"

Baboon: "They are not!"

Robby: "That's true, it would be hard to be that dumb."

Wince: "I wonder what Flint and Steel will have to say about this?"

Baboon: "I don't know, but the combined team would have a good chance of beating
    the Four Corners.  Speaking of the Four Corners, we haven't heard much from
    them.  Do you have any inside news, Robby?"

Robby: "Ha ha ha.  Do I have any inside news?  Of course I do!  And I'll tell
    you this, Tempest, the Four Corners have a very special surprise this week!"

Baboon: "I wonder what it could be.  Let's hear from Flint and Steel.

Steel: "Masked Terror, I told To-be-named-later that I don't like unknowns,
    well they didn't show up for their match.  How about you, are you going
    to show up so that I can trounce you and show the world the ugly face
    beneath that mask of yours?"

Flint: "Well Team Supreme you're new to the WeWF, let's see what you've got.
    You're in the big league, and Frank and me, we're the biggest in the
    league so bring it on!"

Baboon: "Now let's go to Lord Winfred Vague for an update!"

Vague: "The Killer Whale made his first appearance in the WeWF this week, and
    was defeated by "Irish" Mike Flint in a non-title match.  Two new wrestlers
    faced off, and Old Guzzer defeated the Masked Terror.  The Heavy Metal Kid
    and the Crusher fought to a time limit draw, and Tom "the Animal" Brown
    beat the Plaid Powerhouse.  In other action, the Big Kahuna won out over
    Juggernaut.  I'll be back with more updates later on."

Wince: "How about these new wrestlers coming in?  In just his second week,
    the Heavy Metal Kid fought to a draw against the Crusher, a seasoned
    veteran!"

Baboon: "The Heavy Metal Kid learned a lot from his manager, Sasquatch!"

Robby: "Yeah, and it only took him 30 seconds!  That's how much Sasquatch knows
    about wrestling!"

Baboon: "Let's hear from a new team that's stirring things up in the WeWF,
    Oroboros!"

Ken 'Wyrm' Russel [thin, tall, pale.  He is carrying a huge python on his
shoulders]: "Our first match in the WeWF is against one of the most powerful
of all tag teams in the WeWF, the Battlecruisers!  However, with the help
of the great snake deity Set, we will defeat them!"

Silvah Hypocrisy [also tall, female, manager, beautiful, scantily clad,
wearing a mohawk]: "And I want to date them!  What do you say Romulan
Mauler?  Do you want to encounter a woman -STRONG- enough for you?  Go
ahead, and strap me on!"

Hector 'Gorgon' Null [big, mean, stupid]: "We KILL Battlecruisers!  We Kill
RnR!  Set strong!  Set help us win!  Snake power!"

Wyrm: "That's right, with the most holy of all, bringer of all life, Set,
we cannot be defeated by the strong, like the Battlecruisers or the weak
RnR!"

[They all join their hands in the air.]

All: "SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSET!"

Baboon: "Are they strange or what?"

Vague: "I have some more results: Flint and Steel barely beat the Team Supreme,
    and RnR beat the 007 Special."

Wince: "Now let's hear from a team that seems to have turned their backs on the
    fans, the Dynamic Machine!"

Juggs: "Okay Hoosiers, ya got away from us this time, next time we won't be
    late, next time, we will show up, next time we meet, we're gonna slam dunk
    ya inta termorro, and next time we won't go to Honest Joe's Rent-A-Wreck and
    drive to the match!  And as for all of ya out there, I've been workin out,
    and playin' rough, I gotta new style, and as the Chain Gang knows, it
    hoits!"

B.T.: "Hello most honorable opponents of the Summer League, it appears that the
    summer is getting hotter, and when I get in the ring to do combat, it will
    become an inferno!  So beware, less you fall prey to the Black Tiger!"

Robby: "The Dynamic Machine has become more aggressive, and let's go to Lord
    Winfred Vague to see if it has paid off."

Vague: "Snake power didn't help Oroboros, they lost to the BattleCruisers after
    the Klinshai Bombing by the Klingon Disrupter!  The Hoosiers defeated the
    Dynamic Machine, and the Crusher beat the Secret Agent Man.  The Team
    Supreme made their first appearance, and shocked the world by defeating the
    Highlanders!  Flint and Steel defeated the Intoxicators."

Baboon: "How about that?  The Team Supreme, formerly nameless, beat one of the
    top teams in the WeWF, the Highlanders!"

Wince: "Is that their big surprise?  The Four Corners have vowed never to win
    another match?"

Robby: "No, of course not!  Their big surprise is... no, they told me not to
    tell."

Wince: "Well let's hear from someone making his return to the WeWF and active
    e-wrestling, Admiral Chekov!"

>From StarFleet Headquarters, here is Admiral Chekov:

"Greetings, fans of the WeWF.  A few weeks ago, my men and I announced our
departure from the federation; well, we are back.

The reason we left in the first place was to help one of our fellows, the
Tholian Black Widow, who was coming out of retirement in another federation..."

BW: "And I proved to everybody that I was fit to regain the World Title
that has been mine several times in the past.  Four Corners, and especially
you, Bjorn, beware of the Spider's Sting..."

AC: "The Romulan Mauler and the Tholian Black Widow in singles competition,
Photon Torpedo and Klingon Disrupter in tag-teams: it doesn't get much
better than this.  And we WILL prevail.  Chekov out!"

Baboon: "Wow!  And they are already off to a good start with their win over
    Oroboros!"

Robby: "Yeah, but that's just a fluke, like the Team Supreme winning a match."

Baboon: "The BattleCruisers have another match coming up, this time against
    the Maniacs!"

(Only shot of camera with the 2 Maniacs looking rather insane and making
really weird faces at the camera)

Simon: "BattleCruisers!  How are ya gonna handle my Maniacs?!  They're crazier
    and harder for their opponents to handle every match!"

Maniac #2: "And now... we're gonna drag the BattleBruised to the Funny Farm!"

Vague: "More results for you, the Team Supreme beat the Dynamic Machine, the
    Maniacs beat the BattleCruisers, Mr. B defeated DiMadMan, the Heavy
    Metal Kid beat Lord Roderick, and Mr. Roddy beat the Masked Terror.
    Back to you, Baboon."

Baboon: "Satisfied, Lame?  The Team Supreme proved that their win over the
    Highlanders wasn't a fluke!  They're really making a name for themselves
    this week."

Robby: "You've got that right, Tempest, they have made a name for themselves
    and it's about time!  I bet they wouldn't want to be called
    to-be-named-later all the time!"

Wince: "What about Mr. B?  He's really been on a tear as of late."

Baboon: "That's true, and he'll be taking on Frank Steel later on.  Let's hear
    from the WeWF Tag Team Champions, the Law."

Dredd: "RnR, when we first came into this league the first bunch of lowlife
    juves we passed judgement on was you."

Anderson: "But apparently you were just too plain stupid to get the message."

Dredd: "Now you claim there's gonna be "no more Mister Nice Guy".  Well if
    you're gonna try and pull the kind of garbage you did before we've got just
    one thing to say..."

Anderson: "Go Ahead.  Make Our Day."

Wince: "The Law is looking right through the Hoosiers to RnR!"

Robby: "That's probably a good idea.  The Hoosiers are taking on the Law this
    week, and the Hoosiers can't get the job done."

Baboon: "The Crusher signed a match against DiMadMan, and let's hear what he
    has to say."

Crusher: "'DiMadMan'.  'DiMadMan'.  Heh!"

Simon: "You'll have to change your name to 'DiCrushedMan'!"

Baboon: "Lord Winfred, back to you."

Vague: "Mr. B continued his winning ways, defeating Frank Steel.  The Crusher
    came close, but lost out to DiMadMan.  The Masked Terror defeated the
    Romulan Mauler in a close match, and in another close match Lord Roderick
    beat Black Tiger.  The Big Kahuna defeated Mr. Roddy.  The Tholian Black
    Widow made his long awaited debut, and lost out to Razor.

Joining me are Erik and the Daemon, the Hoosiers, who are about to enter the
    ring with the Law, WeWF tag team champions."

Erik: "You know Vague, this match is truly an honor.  The two of us have only
    had 6 matches together since we formed.  What a way to gain experience,
    wrestling the Law!

Daemon: "These two are the dominating tag team in the sport.  There's a lot that
    I can learn from Judge Anderson, one of the quickest men in the sport,"

Erik: "And a lot that I can learn from Judge Dredd, one of the premier
     powerhouses in the sport."

Vague: "What was your impression of their Supercard performance?"

Erik: "Their Supercard performance showed two things.  One was their
    resiliency.  Judge Dredd took an incredible beating in that
    match, but showed the intestinal fortitude to avoid getting pinned."

Daemon: "It also showed that they are not invincible.  If the Crusher
    wasn't such a thick-headed moron, he could have ended the match early."

Vague: "You guys looked very impressive in the Supercard, but it seems that your
    main competition is off studying English.  What's in the future for you
    two?"

Erik:  "We plan to learn as much as we can, until we are at the top of the
    sport.  There are still plenty of teams out there."

Daemon: "Even if Flint and Steel have given up against the Four Corners, we will
    still take on anyone out there.  If there's a team that thinks they're bad,
    come on, go for the gusto, take us out!"

Vague: "Good luck in your title match, this is Winfred Vague closing out with
    Daemon and Erik, the Hoosiers!"

Robby: "Those two idiots!  They beat me up and you let them do it, Tempest!"

Baboon: "Speaking of beating you up, let's go to Lord Roderick."

Robby: "Remember that match between FireLord and Lord Roderick to determine the
    true Lord?  Well maybe Lord Roderick should wrestle Lord Winfred Vague!  He
    might win for a change!"

"Isn't that quote interesting.  I have sat by and listened to Robby the Lame
make his comments about myself and my partner, and have never really bothered
to care.  But now, I am starting to care.  Robby, pal, you had better start
watching what you are saying."--Lord Roderick

Wince: "What do you want on your tombstone, Lame?"

Robby: "I'll have sausage, mushrooms..."

Baboon: "Give me a break.  You've been watching too many commercials, Robby.
    Maybe you should watch for a dentures commercial, because you're going
    to need them."

Wince: "Robby, maybe you should go on vacation for a while."

Robby: "I'm not going to stay here where they can find me, I'm going out to
    the ring.  There are plenty of witnessess there in case anyone jumps me!
    Besides, the Four Corners invited me to watch BudMan win the World Title!"

Baboon: "Good riddance!  Let's hear from Mr. Roddy."

Mr. Roddy: "Well, I guess I didn't do as well as I expected our first week in
the summer league.  But it doesnt bother me.  Just because I started slow,
doesn't mean I'll finish at the bottom.  I will be at the top of the
rankings very soon.  And if it means ending careers, so be it."

Wince: "A very intense competitor!  Let's go back to His Lordship to join
    the Tholian Black Widow's match against the Masked Terror, already
    in progress."

Vague: "Thank you Wince, and I have results of two more matches: Frank Steel
    destroyed the Masked Terror and RnR defeated Oroboros."

Rusty: "The Black Widow taking it to the Masked Terror."

Vague: "Airplane spin by the Living Legend!  He puts the Masked Terror
    back down and the masked man is dizzy!"

Rusty: "Small package by the Widow."

Vague: "The Masked Terror got out of that one, but he's still in a daze."

Rusty: "The Tholian suplexes the Terror!  There's a pin, no!"

Vague: "The Black Widow underestimated the masked man and didn't hook the
    leg.  The Terror clotheslines the Black Widow."

Rusty: "I'm behind the Tholian Black Widow all the way for coming out of
    retirement.  I could come out of retirement and move back to the top
    of the heap."

Vague: "The Masked Terror applies a bear hug, but the Black Widow gets to
    the ropes.  Good intestinal fortitude on the part of the Widow!"

Rusty: "The Masked Terror headbutts the Black Widow, and he's setting him
    up for a piledriver!"

Vague: "Well executed piledriver by the Masked Terror, and he wins the match."

Baboon: "The Tholian Black Widow put up a good fight, but not good enough."

Wince: "The competion gets more intense every year.  It may take the Black
    Widow a while to catch up."

Baboon: "It's time for the US Title match, Bjorn "the Sweedish Pretzel"
    defending the belt against the #1 contender, the General."

Rusty: "The Pretzel asking for a test of strength and the General obliges."

Vague: "Neither wrestler gets the upper hand!  They're too evenly matched!"

Rusty: "Bjorn kicks the General in the midsection.  He wins the test of
    strength, if you will.

Vague: "But the General monkey flips Bjorn.  They get back to their feet,
    and Bjorn rakes the General's face!"

Rusty: "Bjorn is stooping to some low tactics to try to win this match."

Vague: "That's to be expected.  He puts a reverse chinlock on the General,
    he's trying to wear him down."

Rusty: "But the General grabs Bjorn by the hair and drops down, bringing his
    own forehead against Bjorn's jaw!  The patented Rusty Nose jawbreaker!"

Vague: "The General lands an uppercut to Bjorn's hurt jaw.  He follows with
    a gutwrench suplex."

Rusty: "They're exchanging scientific moves that I can't even name!"

Vague: "Go-behind by the General and a belly-to-back suplex!  He bridges for
    the pin, but Bjorn bridges too and gets out of it.  Bjorn hits with an
    inside knee breaker.  He's setting him up for the Sweedish Pretzel leglock!"

Rusty: "But the General recovers and rolls Bjorn up... kickout."

Rusty: "Smooth is up on ring the apron.  The General sees him and runs over!
    The General is throttling Smooth and the fans love it!"

Vague: "But Bjorn took out some brass knuckles, and he's nails the General from
    the backside!  Bjorn is climbing the ropes."

Rusty: "A high risk move..."

Vague: "Fistdrop off the top rope with the brass knuckles on!  Bjorn covers
    and gets the pin!"

Baboon: "Bjorn defends the US Title successfully, but through unscrupulous
    means.  I understand the Hoosiers have come to ringside and are helping
    the General back to his feet.  Their match is coming up and they would
    like to have him in their corner."

Wince: "What dastardly tactics used by Smooth and the Sweedish Pretzel to
    retain the title."

Baboon: "The Four Corners will have a chance to win some gold later, when
    BudMan takes on "Irish" Mike Flint for the World Title!"

Vague: "The General will stay and manage the Hoosiers, but I doubt if he
    will be of much use to them."

Rusty: "Machiavelli is leading the Law to the ring, live and in color!"

Vague: "The Law start out the match quickly, rolling into the ring and battering
    the Hoosiers at the sound of the bell!"

Rusty: "The Law showing why they're the champions... they've got the belts!"

Vague: "They're holding the belts up for everyone to see, but that gave the
    Hoosiers time to recover!  Daemon and Erik double clothesline Judge Dredd
    over the top rope!  They clothesline Judge Anderson, and he goes out over
    the top rope!"

Rusty: "Machiavelli has some words of wisdom for the Law, and they're getting
    back into the ring, they're going to slow the pace down a bit."

Robby: "Testing, testing.  Is this thing on?"

Vague: "Judge Anderson dropkicks Erik, and stops to pose for the fans."

Rusty: "The fans love the Law!  What are you doing here, Robby?"

Robby: "I'm here to do the announcing!"

Rusty: "We can handle that, just like Judge Anderson is handling Erik!"

Vague: "But Erik pushes Judge Anderson back into a neutral corner.  A chop
    by Erik, and Judge Anderson collapses in the corner."

Robby: "Erik tags out to Daemon, who immediately goes to work on the Judge."

Rusty: "They're cutting the ring in half, good tag team wrestling.  But Judge
    Anderson staggers Daemon with a closed fist... rams him into the turnbuckle
    while the fans count along!"

Vague: "Anderson tags out to Dredd, who runs along the apron and clotheslines
    Daemon in the corner.  Dredd comes into the ring and body slams Daemon."

Robby: "If this keeps up, Daemon is going to become part of the ring!"

Vague: "Dredd slams him again!  Dredd makes the tag, and the Law give Daemon
    a double elbow drop."

Rusty: "The General is distraught!  He's sending Erik into the ring to help!"

Vague: "Erik clotheslines both Law, and helps Daemon back to his feet."

Robby: "Great, two fan favorite teams wrestling and they can't do anything but
    cheat."

Vague: "The two teams are trading blows, and the Law seem to be getting the
    better of it."

Rusty: "Dredd grabs Erik, and Anderson clotheslines Daemon down."

Vague: "Anderson is going to the top rope, while Dredd holds Erik wide open
    for a flying clothesline..."

Robby: "But Daemon just pushed Anderson off the top rope!"

Rusty: "Erik breaks Dredd's hold with a face rake...  The referee has lost
    control of this one, but he hasn't stopped the match."

Vague: "Double DDT by the Hoosiers!  Erik covers, Daemon goes back to his
    corner..."

Robby: "Three count!  But he wasn't the legal man!"

Vague: "The Hoosiers win the match!  We have new champions!"

Rusty: "Machiavelli and Judge Anderson are helping Dredd from the ring,
    the General is coming in to raise the arms of the new tag team champions,
    the Hoosiers."

Vague: "The Four Corners just came out of nowhere!  They're attacking the
    Hoosiers!  DiMadMan and BudMan are all over the General, and the Highlanders
    are attacking the Hoosiers!"

Rusty: "DiMadMan throws the General over the top rope!  BudMan goes out and
    hits the General with a chair!  The Highlanders are beating the Hoosiers
    with brass knuckles, and Smooth just threw the tag belts into the ring!"

Robby: "Yeah!  Now Powerhouse give those Hoosiers a taste of the gold!  Wham!
    I love it!"

Wince: "Uh, hello everyone, I've received word that we'll go back when the
    carnage has stopped."

Baboon: "Give me a break."

Robby: "That idiot Anderson is trying to get into the ring, and he just got
    clobbered by BudMan with a chair!  Hit him again!"

Vague: "Here comes the Big Kahuna with a chair!  He saved Anderson, but who
    will save the Hoosiers?  A flood of referees is going out there, but
    they aren't having any effect!"

Rusty: "Here come Flint and Steel!  Flint clearing house with that big pickaxe
    of his, and Steel and BudMan facing off on the outside.  BudMan tries to
    hit Steel with his chair, but Steel smashes it with his sledge hammer!  The
    Four Corners are running for cover!"

Vague: "Listen, DiMadMan has something to say!"

DiMadMan: "Ya know General, Hoosiers, we gave you a LOT of slack.  More than
    we've given anybody in this federation.  But you went too far.  You don't
    touch what belongs to the Four Corners.  And nobody messes with our man
    Robby, baby.  Nobody.  Next time it'll be worse.  Count on it!"

Budman: "Arrrgghh Arrr."

All: "And Nothin' beats a Bud.  MAn!"

Robby: "How about that?  The Hoosiers got the gold... right between the eyes!"

Rusty: "You were in on this, weren't you?"

Robby: "Hey, you put two and two together!  Good job!"

Vague: "The General and the Hoosiers are being carried away from the ring."

Rusty: "The tag team belts are covered with blood!  The Four Corners really
    did a number on the General and the Hoosiers!"

Robby: "Do I have good friends or what?"

Baboon: "That was despicable!  The new champions, the Hoosiers, didn't even
    see the Four Corners coming!"

Wince: "If the Big Kahuna and Flint and Steel hadn't been there, I don't know
    what would have happened!  Let's go back to ringside for our final match!"

Vague: "It's time for the big title match, "Irish" Mike Flint vs. BudMan!"

Rusty: "There was already a lot of animosity between these two.  BudMan stole
    the Eurasia title from Flint with a foreign object!"

Vague: "But there's a lot more hatred between these two men after what just
    took place.  BudMan is coming to the ring, but referees have detained
    Smooth.  What a response from the fans, the security guards are having
    a hard time holding them back!  BudMan just got hit with a thrown beer
    bottle!"

Robby: "Those mutoids are losers, and they're sore losers too."

Vague: "Flint is running to the ring!  I've never seen this before!  He runs
    in and levels BudMan with a clothesline!  Flint presses BudMan and throws
    him out of the ring!"

Rusty: "He must have fallen fifteen feet!"

Robby: "Flint isn't stopping, he's going outside the ring to beat on BudMan some
    more!"

Rusty: "He threw BudMan back into the ring, but BudMan stopped him on the way
    in with a rabbit punch."

Vague: "The referee is trying to take control, but it isn't working!  BudMan
    just slipped something into his mask, and he headbutts Flint!  He is going
    to do it again, but Flint moves back and out of the way."

Rusty: "Flint puts on his hard hat and headbutts BudMan!  BudMan headbutts
    Flint!"

Robby: "One of them is going to have brain damage if this keeps up!"

Vague: "BudMan just knocked Flint's hard hat off, but Flint dropkicks BudMan,
    then bulldogs him onto the hard hat!"

Robby: "Get up!  Get up!"

Rusty: "One... two... three, it's over!  Flint successfully defends the belt!"

Vague: "But he still hasn't let up!  He's getting ready to pay back BudMan
    for what happened to the Hoosiers with the belt, but there are too many
    officials in there!"

Wince: "Things are boiling over after that vicious attack on the Hoosiers by
    the Four Corners!  We'll get you an update on their condition as soon as
    we can, folks."

Baboon: "The Four Corners have made some enemies for life out of the General
    and the Hoosiers."

Wince: "And to think that Robby the Lame may have been behind it all."

Baboon: "For Saturday's card we hope to have an update on the Hoosiers,
    and if they are well enough to wrestle, they will take on RnR.  "Irish"
    Mike Flint will tangle with the Big Kahuna for the World Title.

Wince: "I wonder what that will do to the proposed team of Kahuna and Flint
    and Steel?  Plus a US Title defense by Bjorn "the Sweedish Pretzel",
    this time against Mr. B.

Baboon: "On a final note, we'll be bringing you more info on the Summit of
    E-Wrestling on Friday.  We'll have comments from some of the participants,
    and we'll list all of the matches so far."

Wince: "The WeWF is underrepresented, though.  We need to get a few more
    wrestlers from this federation into the battle royal, the tag team
    tournament, and most importantly, inter-league matches."

Baboon: "So long everyone, see you at Saturday's card!"

WeWF World Champion: "Irish" Mike Flint (3-0)   27 REP

US Champion: Bjorn "the Sweedish Pretzel" (7-0) 45 REP

Tag Team Champions:The Hoosiers (3-0)           26 REP

1. The Big Kahuna (4-1)                        22 REP
 2. Mr. B (4-1)                                 21 REP
 3. The General (3-2)                           18 REP
 4. Frank Steel (3-2)                           16 REP
 5. BudMan (3-2)                                15 REP
 6. Tom "the Animal" Brown (2-1)                 6 REP
 7. Old Guzzer (1-0)                             5 REP
 8. The Plaid Powerhouse (2-2)                   5 REP
 9. The Heavy Metal Kid (0-1-1)                  4 REP
10. Mr. Roddy (1-3)                              1 REP
11. The Masked Terror (2-3)                     -9 REP
12. The Crusher (1-2-1)                          0 REP
13. DiMadMan (1-2)                              -1 REP
14. Razor (1-2)                                 -3 REP
15. Lord Roderick (2-3)                         -4 REP
16. Juggernaut (1-2)                            -5 REP
17. Black Tiger (0-2)                           -6 REP
18. The Neutralizer (0-1)                       -8 REP
19. The Tholian Black Widow (0-2)               -8 REP
20. The Killer Whale (0-2)                     -15 REP
21. The Secret Agent Man (0-3)                 -18 REP
22. The Romulan Mauler (0-3)                   -19 REP

Tag Teams:

1. RnR (3-0)                                   27 REP
 2. Flint and Steel (3-0)                       20 REP
 3. The Maniacs (1-0)                           12 REP
 4. Team Supreme (2-2)                           0 REP
 5. The BattleCruisers (1-1)                    -1 REP
 6. The Law (0-1)                               -1 REP
 7. The Highlanders (0-1)                       -4 REP
 8. The 007 Special (0-1)                       -6 REP
 9. The Dynamic Machine (0-2)                   -7 REP
10. The Intoxicators (0-2)                      -9 REP
11. Oroboros (0-2)                             -11 REP

Commisioner's notes:

Please check your wrestlers' records, I may not have them exactly right.
The next card is scheduled for Saturday, so send me your matches and comments
by then if you can.  As Baboon and Wince said, the Summit needs more WeWF
wrestlers in it!  Hopefully some managers who don't already have Summit matches
signed will want to be in the battle royal.  If you want to be in the battle
royal or the tag team tournament, let me know directly, if you want an
inter-league match, contact the opposing manager directly!

- Aidan Palmer