WeWF Summer Report #3

From: arxt@quads.uchicago.edu (Aidan Palmer)

Date: Wed, 03 Jul 1991 20:08:23 +0000

WeWF Summer Report #3     7/2/91

Baboon: "We've got action galore on this edition of the WeWF Report!  Three
    big title matches, a bunch of interviews, and a whole lot more."

Robby: "Big deal.  What I'm looking forward to is an update on the Hoosiers and
    the General from the hospital!"

Baboon: "Things are really heating up as we count down to the Summit, and here's
    one of the reasons why: The WeWF Champion, Mike Flint or the Big Kahuna,
    will be taking on PWGeA Champion Billy Thunder July 10th at the Summit!"

Robby: "Those two clowns make me sorry that I'm a WeWF announcer!  Billy Thunder
    will wipe the mat with them!"

Baboon: "We'll see about that, Lame.  Let's go to a tape, filmed the day after
   that brutal attack on the General and the Hoosiers."

A doctor is talking with the Hoosiers, both looking a little worse for the wear
themselves...

Erik: "Doctor, what's the word?  How is he?"

Doctor: "The General has suffered heavy concusionary damage, and
    multiple laceratory wounds, and is in a comatory shock."

Daemon: "What's that mean doc?"

Doctor: "He's got a concussion and several major cuts on his face, and
is presently in a coma."

Erik: "When will he be back in action?"

Doctor: "We don't know when he'll be out of the coma.  His face needs at
    least 30-40 stiches, and we are still unsure of the total extent of the
    concussions."

General: "BJORN!!!  DIMADMAN!!!  BUDMAN!!!!  POWERHOUSE!!!"

General: "Four Corners!!  You think that you've won?  No way!  I am
the General!  I am THE 3 time World Champion, and I've got some of
the greatest in the sport to stand by me.  Big Kahuna, Flint, Steel,
I'll be your fourth in the war games!  Four Corners, your days are
numbered!  FOUR CORNERS, YOUR DAYS ARE NUMBERED!"

General: "And Robby the lame...  There is no amount of money that would
    make it worth being in your shoes!"

Robby: "Ooooh!  Scary!  The General will never trouble me again.  A Four
    Corners Sneak Attack (tm) is the greatest thing since sliced bread!"

Baboon: "You better watch your back, Lame!  I was there a few days later when
    the General came out of his coma.  He told me he's going to hunt you down
    Lame."

Robby: "Well General, just remember this: The Four Corners are only a phone call
    away!  Ha ha ha!"

Baboon: "Let's hear from someone else with the Four Corners on his mind."

Steel: "Well Budman, it looks like we're going to meet again, I love beating up
    on the Four Corners.  Ya know it's almost as much fun throwing hot slag
    around, watch out Budman cause when I'm done you ain't gonna be nothin'
    but a pile of cold slag.

Baboon: "Lord Winfred Vague has some match results for us.  Lord Winfred?"

Vague: "Team Supreme continue to surprise their critics.  This week they
    defeated the Law.  Black Tiger beat the Killer Whale with the help of a
    flash bomb, Razor defeated Lord Roderick, and in a very close contest,
    Frank Steel and BudMan fought to a time limit draw.  The Killer Whale pulled
    off an upset, defeating the Tholian Black Widow, and Mr. Roddy defeated Old
    Guzzer.  Back to you, Baboon."

Baboon: "Very interesting indeed.  Let's hear from a team that's making waves
    in the WeWF, the Dynamic Machine!"

Juggs: "Oh yeah! The summer action is hot and furious!  But watch out,
    The Juggernaut is on the move and I'm hungering fer your blood!
    So ya better watch yer back, because it may be me who's a poundin'
    on it."

B.T.: "Perseverence and patience are two key factors for the warrior.
    Craftiness and guile are two more.  I have all, for I am a complete
    warrior both in mind and body.  Beware, I live to destroy you!

Baboon: "The BattleCruisers are irate that the Killer Whale defeated the Tholian
    Black Widow!  Let's hear what they had to say after the match."

Chekov: "We had a Feral Frog.  He's gone.  We had a Lethal Lemming.  Out.  We
    had Steel Monkeys.  Got rid of 'hem.  Did we really need a Killer Whale?"

Mauler: "Whale, if you think harpoons are bad, just wait until you feel the
    power of the Plasma Torpedo!.."

Black Widow: "...or the Spider's Sting.  Once you are trapped, Whale, there
    is no escape from the Black Widow's Web!"

Baboon: "They signed a match between the Mauler and the Killer Whale, let's
    go to His Lordship to find out how that match turned out."

Vague: "The Romulan Mauler defeated the Killer Whale, Mr. Roddy defeated the
    Crusher, and Tom "the Animal" Brown won out over BudMan.  In tag team action
    the Dynamic Machine beat the Intoxicators, and Flint and Steel beat the
    Maniacs."

Baboon: "The Trekkies got even with the Killer Whale!  Let's go to Green Jean
    Oktoberfest with an interview with what must be the most mysterious tag-team
    to ever be a part of the WeWF: Team Supreme!  Green Jean?"

[Green Jean stands between two towering, masked figures.  Team Supreme are
    dressed alike and are the same height.  There seems to be no way to tell
    them apart.]

Green Jean: "Thank you, Baboon.  I'm here with Supreme #1 and Supreme #2 (or is
    it Supreme #2 and Supreme #1?), better known in WeWF as Team Supreme.  Tell
    me, gentlemen, when you started, you didn't have a name and Frank Steel has
    made some disparaging remarks when you didn't show for your first match.
    Any comments, Supreme #1?"

Supreme #1:  [stares at camera]

Green Jean:  [turning to the other] "Supreme #2, perhaps you would care to say
    a few words about your 'rematch' with Flint & Steel?  They defeated you
    last week but had a difficult time pulling it off.

Supreme #2:  [stares at camera]

Green Jean: "You both seemed to handle yourselves well against those seasoned
    WeWF veterans, and half of the Four Corners, The Highlanders.  What are
    your plans for the future?"

Supreme #1:  [stares at camera]

Supreme #2:  [stares at camera]

Green Jean: "This is Green Jean Oktoberfest with Team Supreme.  They're the
   strong and silent type, apparently, and still a mystery to this reporter.
   Back to you, Baboon."

Baboon: "Thanks, Green Jean.  Boy, those guys could use a manager if they're
   going to continue to give interviews like that."

Robby: "What's wrong with their interview?  I thought it was great."

Baboon: "But they didn't say anything."

Robby: "Exactly.  Quite a refreshing change from some of the other teams here
   in the WeWF that can't seem to shut up.  I predict those boys will go far."

Baboon: "Let's hear from another top tag team, RnR."

"That's right, no more Mr. Nice Guy.  And if you want me to prove it, The Law
 will be the first to see just how mean and nasty we can get.  It's fun
 fighting fire with FIRE."--Lord Roderick

"Dredd and Anderson.  You seem to want to serve Justice your way and
you want to take on me and my partner.  Well, when we step into the
ring.  There will be justice served.  But we will be serving the Justice
and you guys are going to be on the receiving end."--Mr. Roddy

Baboon: "We'll be back with more from RnR before their title match.  Right now
    let's hear from Molly Maguire, who has some things to say to RnR."

Molly: "RnR, I thought we took care of you a long time ago, well I'm sure the
    boys won't have any problems, they've been in training for the summit so
    you shouldn't be any problems."

Baboon: "Here are the former champs themselves, the Law!"

Dredd: "Are we going to lodge a protest?  Hell no!  We might have, but the only
    person who didn't see a tag was Robby the Lame.  The only time he's
    not lyin' is when his mouth is shut."

Anderson: "What we are going to do is work our ways right back where we belong.
    On top.  And we're takin' out the trash with us as we go too."

Dredd: "Startin' where we left off.  With The Maniacs.  They might have been
    champions once.  But it takes a lot more than a fluke to beat the Law."

Anderson: "As for the Hoosiers, we'll be back, and then we'll see what happens."

Dredd: "But right now it's time for The Maniacs to face ...."

Both: "THE LAW!!!!"

Robby: "Hey!  I resent what they said about me!  I ought to call the Four
    Corners and tell them to trash the Law!"

Baboon: "I've heard from my sources that the Four Corners don't like being
    referred to as your servants, Lame."

Robby: "There you go again Tempest, trying to start trouble!"

Baboon: "Let's go to Lord Winfred for an update."

Vague: "The Heavy Metal Kid defeated Mr. Roddy, and the Intoxicators defeated
    Oroboros.  The Law beat the Maniacs, and Flint and Steel pinned the 007
    Special.  More matches are taking place now, and I will bring you the
    results later."

------------- Video segment from The Masked Terror -------------

Masked Terror: [with Southern drawl] "Well, y'all, Ah'm here in the WeWF.
    Frank Steel's been on my case from day one just 'cause Ah wear a mask.
    Well, Mr. Steel, Ah got just three words for ya: 'Deal With It!'

"Ever'where Ah go, it's always the same--gang up on the masked man.  Now,
    Ah ain't no Lone Ranger, but Ah can handle muhself just fine.   Ah came ta
    the WeWF for some real competition and what do they give me?  Just some old
    coot that couldn't even pin a old hound dog that was tied down and asleep!

"Ah'm fixin' to be the top dog here soon in this here World e-mail Wrasslin'
    Federation, so, y'all can just line up and Ah'll be pleased as punch ta
    knock ya back down again.  Thet's right, Ah'm speaking to you General, and
    you DiMadMan, and especially ta you Frank Steel and yer pal Flint!

"Y'all better get used to it right now.  The Masked Terror is here to stay
    for a long, long time."

Robby: "We've got a lot of masked wrestlers in the WeWF, and that guy is one
    of the best.  Here are a couple of guys so ugly they should be wearing masks
    too, the BattleCruisers!"

Chekov: "Oroboros, you and your flea-infested, stinking harlot of a manager
    are getting on my nerves!"

Photon: "Silvah Hypocrisy, your Club Anarchy never amounted to anything, and the
    Oroboros are worse that that.  Bring your snakes!  Bring your
    wacko gods!  The more of you there are, the more of you we will Photonize!"

Disrupter: "Oroboros, beware of Klinshai Bombing.  A true Klingon Warrior
    has no pity for snake.  Or man.  Or chick."

Wince: "Baboon Tempest was invited to cover the Hoosiers' and the General's
    matches, so I am be taking his place."

Robby: "I guess I'm on my own then.  Lord Winnie?"

Vague: "Hmmph.  The BattleCruisers defeated the Oroboros, proving that they
    mean what they say.  The Secret Agent Man beat the Masked Terror, and the
    Trekkies' arch-enemy Emperor Lightfinger returned to the WeWF with Darkseid
    the Destroyer, who edged out the Juggernaut.  Back to you, Wince."

Wince: "There are just a few more matches scheduled, Robby."

Robby: "I guess it wasn't your brilliant insights that got you this job,
    McLady.  We have three big matches left, and three smaller ones.  In the
    big matches I have to go with RnR over the Hoosiers, Bjorn "the Sweedish
    Pretzel" over Mr. B, and I think "Irish" Mike Flint and the Big Kahuna
    will both be counted out because they won't find the ring."

Wince: "I don't know about that, Robby."

Robby: "Hopefully Val Lee and Molly Maguire will get in a cat fight."

Wince: "That just might happen.  Let's go back to Lord Winfred Vague for another
     update."

Robby: "Who?"

Vague: "In the last few matches of the night, the Secret Agent Man beat the
    Tholian Black Widow, and Darkseid defeated Razor.  Baboon Tempest has
    comments from the General about his upcoming match with Tom "the Animal"
    Brown."

Baboon: "This is Baboon Tempest here with the General.  General, you were just
    recently released from the hospital.  Why are you coming back so soon?"

General: "Baboon, I've got business to take care of, and scores to settle.
    If Flint, Steel, and The Big Kahuna are willing, we'll take care of the
    Four Corners in the War Games."

Baboon: "You are set to wrestle Tom "the Animal" Brown here, in a rematch
    of your US Title tournament clash.  Look out!"

Tom "the Animal" Brown appears behind the General and smashes him over
the head with a chair.  He then picks up the General, carries him to
ringside and slams him into the timekeepers table.  The General is groggy,
but has enough presence of mind to grab the ring bell, and he cracks
Tom "The Animal" Brown in the forehead.  The Animal starts juicing, and
the General rolls him into the ring.  The General goes to set up the
piledriver, but he's still hurt, and Tom Brown back body drops him.  The
Animal then rakes the General's eyes.  The General is stunned as the Animal
starts hammering home numerous brutal punches.  Finally the General manages
to slide under the bottom rope.  The Animal follows him out, only to catch
the ringbell again, right between the eyes.  The General picks up the
bleeding Animal and powerslams him on the concrete floor.  He grabs a
chair and starts pounding on The Animal.  He rolls Tom Brown into the ring,
and then climbs to the top rope.  He goes for a flying splash, but somehow
Tom Brown gets his knees up.  The General rolls into the corner in pain.

Suddenly, The Plague Dog of PWGeA appears at ringside.  Tom "The Animal"
Brown staggers up, and slingshots the General into the corner.  He follows
him in with a shoulder block to the midsection.  He then slingshots the
General into the opposite corner, but the General bumps into the ref, and
the ref gets knocked down.  The Animal grabs the General from behind, as
the Plague Dog gets up on the ringside.  The Plague Dog grabs his bone
and slams the General in the forhead, causing the General to juice bad.
Tom "The Animal" Brown grabs the bone and climbs to the top rope.  He
leaps and smashes the General in the forhead.  He tosses the bone out of
the ring as the ref comes to, and counts the 3.

The Plague Dog then charges the ring.  He grabs the tired General and
throws him headfirst outside the ring.  He follows the General out and
starts biting him on the head, then the arm, then ear.  The General
is a mess of blood as the Plague Dog rolls him back into the ring.  Tom
"The Animal" Brown is rested, and picks up the General, and piledrives
him hard into the mat.  The two proceed to pummel the helpless body until
a 6' 0" tall crew-cut man wearing fatigues runs into the ring!  He unleashes
a flury of punches on the Animal and the Dog so vicious that they don't
know what hit them.  He grabs their heads and smashes them together.  The
Animal falls to his back, and Sledge Hammer clotheslines Plague Dog over
the top rope.  He then picks up Tom "The Animal" Brown and knocks him down
with a superkick that would make Chris Adams jealous.  He picks him up
again, throws him into the ropes and nails him with a Cresent kick that
would make Stan Lane jealous.  This sends "The Animal" over the top rope.
Sledge leaps over the top rope and clotheslines both "The Animal" and
Plague Dog in one fell swoop.  They head for higher ground, and Sledge
goes back to the ring to awaken the fallen General.  The General rises,
sees Sledge in front of him.  They look eye to eye, shake hands, and
walk back to the dressing room.

Wince: "Here's a late breaking news flash: A match has been signed between the
    tag team of Plague Dog and Tom "The Animal" Brown vs. the Dream Team of
    former PWGeA champion Sledge Hammer and 3 time WeWF champion the General!"

Robby: "That's going to be something to see!  I've heard about a few other
    possible inter-federation team-ups, but the Sergeant and the General, that
    will be the team to beat!"

Wince: "Let's go back to the arena, where our commentators are watching the
    US Title defense by Bjorn "the Sweedish Pretzel" against Mr. B."

Vague: "Mr. B setting him up... there's the B's sting!"

Rusty: "That thayuh was a maynificent drop kick, if you weel, by the
    challenjuh."

Vague: "Mr. B atomic drops the bad man from Sweden!"

Baboon: "No!  Bjorn blocked the move, and elbowed Mr. B in the face.  No
    question about it, these two are both skilled technical wrestlers."

Vague: "Irish whip by Bjorn, and a clothesline.  He drops an elbow on Mr. B."

Baboon: "He's measuring him, Lord Winfred.  Bjorn will just continue to dish out
    punishment until he can safely slap on the figure four and end it."

Rusty: "Bjorn goes to work on Mr. B's leg now.  He's trying to weaken the legs
    for the Sweedish Pretzel."

Baboon: "He's strutting around the ring, and he gives the signal for it.  The
    fans booing loudly, especially Mr. B's followers, the Swarm."

Vague: "Dr. Down-Under didn't come with him to the ring this time, but the
    Swarm follow him wherever he goes."

Rusty: "Bjorn winding him up for the leglock, but no!  Mr. B shoves him off
    with his foot!"

Baboon: "Bjorn winds up for a haymaker, but Mr. B blocks it and twists Bjorn's
    arm!"

Vague: "But a rake of the face breaks the hold.  Bjorn grabs Mr. B by the hair
    and throws him out of the ring!"

Rusty: "Mr. B is coming back up the ring stairs, but Smooth shoves him from
    behind, and Mr. B hits his head on the ring pole!"

Vague: "The referee missed that, he was distracted by Bjorn."

Baboon: "Mr. B is too dazed to get back into the ring, and the referee is
    counting...  8... 9... 10.  It's over."

Rusty: "Bjorn wins by countout, but look at this!"

Baboon: "The General just ran down to ringside and nailed Smooth with the
    ring bell!  He rolls into the ring and he's chasing Bjorn around!  Bjorn
    slides out of the ring, but the Hoosiers are there and they throw him
    right back in!"

Vague: "Pow!  The General and the Hoosiers have Bjorn trapped, and Bjorn
    is being severely pummeled with those brass knuckles!  Smooth is hiding
    under the ring, and Mr. B is ducking out into the crowd."

Baboon: "A flood of officials have arrived, and they have extricated Bjorn.
    He really took a beating in there, despite keeping the belt Lord Winfred!"

Wince: "A very interesting situation.  I'm sure the General would have been
    glad to hit Tom Brown's friend Mr. B with those brass knuckles too.  The
    General certainly wasn't there to save him!"

Robby: "Let me get this straight, when the Four Corners attack somebody it's
    a crime, and when the General attacks somebody it's OK?"

Wince: "The General was still hurting from the sneak attack he received at his
    match against Bjorn.  He may have re-injured himself in the match against
    Tom Brown.  Did you see the bandages he had on, Robby?"

Robby: "Did I see the bandages?  I had a picture taken of him in the hospital.
    It's going on my Christmas cards this year!"

Wince: "It's time for the tag team title match, so let's go back to the arena."

"Its been a long time since we held the tag team titles.  Hoosiers, I hope
you are well enough to make it to our match.  We want you at 100% when
we take the titles."--RnR

Baboon: "This is Baboon Tempest here with the world tag team champs,
    the Hoosiers, who won the belts in only their 7th match together.  I've
    got to say that you guys even surprised me."

Daemon: "Well Baboon, we just took it one step at a time.  We've got a
    match coming up against RnR, the toughest and most experienced team
    in the federation."

Erik: "They know all the tricks in the book.  I won't be surprised if
    the Four Corners try to come after us too."

Baboon: "What are you reactions to their recent actions?"

Daemon: "There's not a lot we can do.  Until we lose our belts, or those
    pencil necked geeks get their ranking up, we can't wrestle them as a
    team.  We are open for any challengers.  This is something very personal
    with the General, and goes back to his feuding with DiMadMan for the
    world title last spring."

Baboon: "There's a lot of talk of the upcoming summit of wrestling.  Who
    do you guys look to face in the PWGeA?"

Erik: "We'll take on anybody in the World.  There's nobody that
    can intimidate us."

Baboon: "It's interesting that you say the world, as I know that there
    is a Soviet team in the PWGeA that has been running all over the American
    competitors over there."

Daemon:  Well, they're lucky they haven't faced us yet.

Baboon: "I believe that they have put several Americans out of the sport.
    In fact, they were targeting the General as their next victim."

Erik: "Well, he's got his hands full as is!  But we can take those
    commies!  Glastnost or no, they are acting out of control.  Get them
    on the phone!"

Baboon: "I've got their manager on the line."

Erik: "What?  You lousy excuse of humanity!  Huh?  No, we're not afraid
    of you!  Don't call me red, you commie piece of filth!  Oh no you won't,
    you bring those hotheaded boys into our hometown, and we'll tear them
    new <bleep> and <bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeep>"

Daemon: "You shouldn't use that type of language.  <Grabs the phone>
    What?  Try getting a thicker accent pal.  No, we'll be there all right.
    The summit, the meeting of the powers!  The best of the US vs. the
    best of the Soviets.  What?  You goddamn <bleeeeeeeeeeeeep> and hey,
    tell your mom <bleeeeeeeeep>  No?  well <bleeeep>"

Daemon: "Let's go, we've got a match to wrestle!"

Rusty: "Heah come the challenjus, RnR.  The fans don't like them much, Lord."

Vague: "Both members of this team are powerful, powerful individuals.  Erik
    may be able to match strength with them, but Daemon will have to use his
    speed to stay away from them."

Rusty: "The Hoosiers are coming to the ring, and the crowd is really coming
    to life, Lord Winfred.  I don't see the General anywhere, though."

Vague: "The General will not be allowed at ringside for this match because
    of his actions in the last match.  Will this young team be able to succeed
    without their manager?"

Rusty: "The Hoosiers handed the belts to the referee, and Erik has left the
    ring.  Lord Roderick is also stepping to the outside."

Vague: "Mr. Roddy tries to lock up with Daemon, but Daemon ducks away.  He
    is going for a suplex, but he can't lift Mr. Roddy off the ground."

Rusty: "Now Mr. Roddy tries the suplex, and he succeeds!  He tags out to Lord
    Roderick, and they're double teaming the Daemon."

Vague: "RnR are cutting the ring off: tagging in and out to pummel Daemon, and
    not letting him get out of the corner."

Rusty: "Keith Skar is telling RnR to go for a double body slam, and there it
    is.  I don't think Daemon will get up from that one."

Vague: "But somehow he does, and he's crawling across the ring..."

Rusty: "Lord Roderick grabs him by the boot and won't let him get away."

Vague: "But wait, Daemon loosens the laces and the boot comes loose!  Lord
    Roderick stumbles backwards, and Daemon tags out!"

Rusty: "Erik comes in like a wild man, hammering Lord Roderick and Mr. Roddy
    too.  He slams Lord Roderick, and applies a step-over toe hold."

Vague: "That is a painful hold, but Lord Roderick gets to the ropes."

Rusty: "Erik gives him a belly-to-belly suplex, and covers, but Mr. Roddy hits
    him in the head with Daemon's boot, breaking the pin."

Vague: "Lord Roderick rams Erik's head into the top turnbuckle, then gives
    a backbreaker.  What strength: he holds onto Erik and gives him another
    backbreaker!  Now Lord Roderick tags out and RnR are pounding away on
    Erik's back."

Rusty: "They really have been double teaming a lot tonight.  Lord Roderick
    taunts Daemon into coming into the ring, and while the referee prevents
    Daemon from entering, Mr. Roddy is winding up to hit Erik with Daemon's
    boot..."

Vague: "But Erik punches Mr. Roddy, who stumbles back and is locked in the
    ropes!  Lord Roderick comes up from behind Erik, but Erik turns around
    and gives him a crescent kick!  Erik tags out to the Daemon, who comes
    off the top rope with a high bodypress..."

Rusty: "... onto Lord Roderick!  He covers, and there is the three count!"

Vague: "The Hoosiers win the match, and successfully defend the Tag Team
    Titles."

Robby: "I'm impressed.  Two unseasoned wrestlers like the Hoosiers defeating
    one of the most experienced teams, RnR... that just doesn't happen very
    often.  Maybe the Four Corners smartened them up with those belts."

Wince: "Hey, the Four Corners can't take credit here, the Hoosiers won the
    match on their own.  Do you think they can win the Tag Team Tournament
    at the Summit, Robby?"

Robby: "Maybe, but do you think they can beat the New Mystics?  Or Flint and
    Steel?  I don't think so."

Wince: "Speaking of Flint and Steel, they are now the number one contenders!"

Robby: "So next time they get to wrestle the Hoosiers?  I'll buy earplugs for
    that one, because you know the mutoids will be making a lot of noise."

Wince: "Let's hear from the champion and the challenger."

Flint: "Big K, they say there is evil in the world, and you call it the Four
    Corners.  You and Val want to get them out of the WeWF sure well, help.  But
    as far as why we ain't doin' more, well when you see the bodies of 15 year
    old kids being pulled out after caveins, or thirty year olds who look like
    they're seventy from workin in the mines or the black lung, it's kind of
    hard to get too upset about a couple of jokers who think they're tough
    because they can run in and hit people from behind.  Well, I guess that you
    take care of the evil that you can take care of in the world, and if you and
    Val, want some help taking care of the Four corners you can count Frank and
    me in, by the way good luck in the match, you ain't getting the belt, but
    good luck anyway."

TB: "Dude, no way can this in any way damage the prospect of a most excellent
    teaming with Flint and Steel.  I have to like, believe that Mickey knows
    that the reason we are here instead of out surfing, is to win the World
    Championship Belt.  I can't believe that he'd like be so low as too take
    this challenge aslike an insult.  He's a way too cool dude for that man."

Val: "Like yeah TB, and like this is an excellent event for like the fans too
    ya know?  I mean like how often do the fans get too see action like this
    at like anything but a Supercard?  Totally Awesome!  I say may like the
    best man win, ya know?"

Baboon: "The match is about to start, and the Big Kahuna wants to shake hands
    with "Irish" Mike."

Vague: "Flint shakes his hand, then immediately clotheslines the Kahuna!"

Baboon: "Mike Flint wasting no time here, he's already going to work on the
    Big Kahuna.  Irish whip off the ropes into a shoulderblock."

Vague: "Flint is now battering the Big Kahuna with closed fists!  He doesn't
    let up against anyone!"

Baboon: "The Kahuna was caught off guard by the initial attack, but he comes
    back with a punch of his own.  He picks Flint up and slams him.  Kahuna
    whips Flint into the buckles and charges in... Stinger Splash!"

Vague: "That took the wind out of Flint in a hurry, and the Kahuna hip tosses
    him out of the corner.  Flint gets back to his feet, but wham, a clothesline
    by the Big Kahuna puts him back down."

Baboon: "But look how quickly he gets back up!  Kahuna is posing for the fans,
    and Flint comes up behind him and axehandles him!"

Vague: "Flint hits T.B. with a powerful, powerful forearm, and Kahuna flies
    over the top rope!"

Baboon: "He landed at the feet of Val Lee, who's helping him back to his feet."

Vague: "Kahuna gets back into the ring, and Flint puts him in a bearhug."

Baboon: "But T.B. escapes with a shot to Flint's ears, and then throws the
    champion out of the ring."

Vague: "Molly Maguire helps Flint back into the ring, and the Big Kahuna goes
    back to work.  He's now climbing the ropes..."

Baboon: "That's a high risk move!"

Vague: "And he comes off for a flying axehandle, but Flint punches him in the
    stomach!  Flint whips the Big Kahuna into the buckles, and charges in with
    a big shoulder to the surfer's midsection!"

Baboon: "I think T.B. has the wind knocked out of him.  "Irish" Mike picks
    him up and gives him a stomach breaker.  One... two..."

Vague: "Three.  Another successful title defense by Mickey Flint."

Robby: "Flint stays unbeaten.  Can anybody stop this guy?"

Wince: "The Big Kahuna cames close.  But he didn't quite get the job done.
    Next time the challenger is...  Oh my!  The Big Kahuna will get a rematch!"

Robby: "I don't think so, McLady.  My money is on Billy Thunder to beat Flint
    at the Summit!"

Wince: "The Summit will definitely shake things up.  If the Hoosiers hold onto
    their title there, they will defend against Flint and Steel, and if Bjorn
    hangs on to his, he will face Frank Steel."

Robby: "Flint and Steel are poised to claim every belt in the WeWF!"

Wince: "They might just be able to do it, Robby."

Robby: "We'll be back on Sunday with a Summit Update, and on the 10th we'll
    start bringing you live reports from the Summit of E-Wrestling."

Wince: "Baboon isn't here, so who's going to say goodbye?"

Robby: "I will!  Goodbye, mutoids!"

WeWF World Champion: "Irish" Mike Flint (4-0)   38 REP

US Champion: Bjorn "the Sweedish Pretzel" (8-0) 53 REP

Tag Team Champions: The Hoosiers (4-0)          37 REP

1. The Big Kahuna (4-2)                        23 REP
 2. Frank Steel (3-2-1)                         20 REP
 3. The General (3-3)                           18 REP
 4. Mr. B (4-2)                                 17 REP
 5. Tom "the Animal" Brown (4-1)                16 REP
 6. BudMan (3-2-1)                              12 REP
 7. Darkseid the Destroyer (2-0)                11 REP
 8. The Heavy Metal Kid (1-1-1)                 10 REP
 9. Mr. Roddy (3-4)                             10 REP
10. The Plaid Powerhouse (2-2)                   3 REP
11. Old Guzzer (1-1)                            -1 REP
12. Lord Roderick (3-4)                         -1 REP
13. Black Tiger (1-3)                           -1 REP
14. Razor (2-3)                                 -3 REP
15. DiMadMan (1-2)                              -3 REP
16. The Secret Agent Man (2-3)                  -5 REP
17. The Crusher (1-3-1)                         -5 REP
18. Juggernaut (1-3)                            -8 REP
19. The Romulan Mauler (1-3)                   -11 REP
20. The Masked Terror (2-4)                    -15 REP
21. The Killer Whale (1-3)                     -15 REP
22. The Tholian Black Widow (0-4)              -17 REP

Tag Teams:

1. Flint and Steel (5-0)                       34 REP
 2. RnR (3-1)                                   27 REP
 3. Team Supreme (3-2)                           9 REP
 4. The BattleCruisers (2-1)                     7 REP
 5. The Law (2-1)                                5 REP
 6. The Dynamic Machine (2-2)                    3 REP
 7. The Maniacs (1-2)                           -2 REP
 8. The Intoxicators (1-3)                      -4 REP
 9. The Highlanders (0-1)                       -6 REP
10. The 007 Special (0-2)                      -12 REP