WeWF August Supercard!

From: arxt@quads.uchicago.edu (Aidan Palmer)

Date: Sun, 01 Sep 1991 03:35:03 +0000

WeWF August Supercard: "Gold Belts and Iron Men"

The UIC Pavillion in Chicago, Illinois
Saturday, August 31

Baboon: "I'm Baboon Tempest and it's time for the 7th WeWF Supercard!
    Joining me at ringside is my co-host, Wince McLady!"

Wince: "We'll be bringing you all the action, so stay right there!"

Baboon: "There are some great matches signed for this, the last official
    WeWF Summer event.  One of them is the Iron Man Tournament, where defending
    Iron Man The Big Kahuna, The Executioner, The Plaid Powerhouse, and Photon
    Torpedo will go at it.  Each wrestler will face everyone else once."

Wince: "The winner for this event will be determined by their win-loss
    record in the tournament, unless three wrestlers come out 2-1."

Baboon: "Also we've got a big six-man match, The General and his proteges
    The Hoosiers will take on Bjorn "The Swedish Pretzel" and The Law inside
    a steel cage!"

Wince: "That should be a great match.  The Law and The Hoosiers both held the
    tag team belts during the summer, and the team that wins this match will
    get the first crack at the belts on Sunday!"

Baboon: "But who will they face?  That's something we'll find out later on,
    when World Champion Mr. Roddy and his partner The Millionaire take on
    World Tag Team Champions "Irish" Mike Flint and Frank Steel!"

Wince: "If anyone can take the belts from Flint and Steel it's going to be
    RnR (or was that RnM?).  They are the only team to pin Flint and Steel
    this summer, and they did it twice!"

Baboon: "And this time the belts will be up for grabs.  And speaking of belts,
    Mr. B has agreed to put his US Title on the line against The Red Baron.
    You can't deny that Mr. B is a fighting champion!"

Wince: "The Red Baron should be a good test for him, though.  He's really
    made waves in his first few weeks in the WeWF."

Baboon: "Speaking of making waves, The Secret Agent Man certainly did that
    when he exposed The Law's unlawful activities!  Their friend The Grim
    Reaper will try to close S.A.M's mouth for good."

Wince: "The Grim Reaper put The Killer Whale out of action for good this past
    week.  I wonder how the Agent will fare considering his career-threatening
    knee injury incurred at the hands of The Law?"

Baboon: "We'll have to wait and see.  How about the chilli injury suffered
    by The Wyld Stallyons at the hands of The Mexican Delights?  They'll
    have their chance for revenge in a no holds barred match!"

Wince: "Let's go to ringside!"

The Wyld Stallyons vs. The Mexican Delights
         in a No Holds Barred Match

Baboon: "We're starting it off with two hot new teams in the WeWF.  This
    match was prompted by The Mexican Delights unwarranted attack two
    weeks ago on The Stallyons!"

Wince: "No one has seen The Stallyons in the building, Baboon.  Green Jean
    Oktoberfest is standing by with their manager Rufus."

Green Jean: "Rufus, nobody has seen The Wyld Stallyons here tonight?  Where
    are they?"

Rufus: "My boys will be here.  Relax, they'll make it... I hope."

Baboon: "I wonder where they are?  Their opponents are standing by."

Nabilio Tortilla: "We got the chilli powder... come and get us..."

The Nacho Kid: "Wyld Stale loins, if you feel too intimidated, if you want to
    back out, we give you a deal!  You pull the no-show, we call it a draw!
    But if you come to the ring, we have the chilli powder, we the other
    tricks, and it will be Adios, Senors!!"

Wince: "Do you think The Stallyons would go along with that?  This is one
    confusing situation!"

Baboon: "The Wyld Stallyons may have chickened out, Wince.  Meanwhile, The
    Delights are on their way to the ring!"

Wince: "The announcer just called for The Stallyons, and they're getting
    a lot of cheering, but I don't see them anywhere.  He's announcing them
    again, but where are they?"

Baboon: "Uh-oh.  They only have 30 seconds left, or else they forfeit the
    match."

Wince: "I hope they haven't chickened out...  Just ten seconds left.  Nine,
    eight, seven, six, five, four... hey, what happened to the lights?"

Voice: "And now... appearing at their first supercard... here are Bill S
    Preston esquire and Ted "Theodore" Logan... The WYYYYYLLLLDDDDDDD
    STALLYONS!!!"

Baboon: "Spotlights are shining down on the runway, and here come Bill and
    Ted, they're sprinting to the ring!"

Wince: "That's 'Fight like a Brave' by the Red Hot Chilli Peppers playing in
    the background, and Bill and Ted are Red Hot all right."

Baboon: "All four wrestlers are going at it already!  We've got a pier six!"

Wince: "Bill clotheslines Nabilio, and Ted slams The Nacho Kid!  The Mexican
    Delights are taking cover outside the ring!"

Baboon: "Bill and Ted follow them out, Ted taking on Nabilio, and Bill locking
    horns with The Nacho Kid!  Tacoglio Madridos, The Delights' manager, just
    clocked Bill with a chair!  Now he hits Ted!"

Wince: "It's a good thing there's no DQ in this match, otherwise that would
    have cost them the match."

Baboon: "Rufus just grabbed a broom from under the ring, and he breaks it over
    Tacoglio's head!  That should keep him out of the action!"

Wince: "But The Nacho Kid just leveled Rufus with a haymaker!  Both managers are
    out of it!"

Baboon: "Ted lunges at Nabilio, and they tumble over the barricade into the
    stands!  They're still brawling!  People are running for cover!"

Wince: "The Nacho Kid is going for a bulldog on Bill, but Bill pushes him,
    sending The Kid into the ring pole!"

Baboon: "Bill rams Kid into the pole!  But The Kid grabs the ring bell and
    rings Bill's bell!"

Wince: "Nabilio Tortilla just grabbed a chair, and he and Ted are fighting
    for control over it!  Tortilla rams it down on Ted, but Ted doesn't let
    go of it!  He slams it on Nabilio's head!  Both wrestlers drop the chair,
    and Nabilio Tortilla rakes Ted's face!"

Baboon: "The Nacho Kid swings the bell again, but Bill rolls under the ring!"

Wince: "The Kid follows him!  We've got action under the ring, we've got
    action in the stands, and the referee is dumbfounded!  He never expected
    this!"

Baboon: "In the stands, Nabilio Tortilla is chasing Ted up the stairs with
    a monkey wrench!  He hits Ted in the back!  Ted goes down, and Tortilla
    goes to work on him!"

Wince: "Meanwhile, Bill crawls out from under the ring dragging a bloody Nacho
    Kid!  Bill rams The Kid face first to the ring barrier!  Then he rolls
    him back into the ring!"

Baboon: "A bloody Ted lashes out with a kick... and knocks Nabilio Tortilla
    off balance!  Tortilla rolls down the arena stairs, and ends up battered,
    bruised, bloody, and back at ringside!"

Wince: "Bill DDT's The Nacho Kid!  The referee finally has a something to do!
    One, two, three!"

Baboon: "The Wyld Stallyons win a wild match!  Ted is being helped back to
    the ring, he took some vicious shots with that monkey wrench.  It looks
    like he, Nabilio Tortilla, The Nacho Kid, and both managers will be
    stretchered out!"

Wince: "A big win for The Wyld Stallyons!"

Iron Man Tournament, Round 1
         The Big Kahuna vs. The Executioner
         Photon Torpedo vs. The Plaid Powerhouse

Baboon: "There you have it, the match-ups for the first round.  Our first
    match will be T.B. Kahuna, who won the last Iron Man Tournament, against
    The Executioner."

Wince: "T.B. was a rookie when he won that tournament, and I think it did a
    lot for him.  He's held the World Title twice now.  The Executioner may
    get the same opportunity right here."

Baboon: "We've got comments from both wrestlers.  They're looking forward
    to quite a fight!"

The Executioner: "My fellow ironman entrants... fight your battles, little
    men... struggle for glory... for when you face me the blade will fall and I
    alone shall stand... victorious..."

Green Jean: "T.B. you certainly do look fired up for the upcoming tournament,
    and I'm glad to see you remembered that it was wrestling, and not a
    tri-athalon this time."

T.B.: "What?!?  Like I knew I forgot something.  Most radical, now I can get out
    of these bogus bikini shorts.  They're giving me a most uncool wedgie."

Green Jean: "You mean... never mind, back to you Wince."

Baboon: "The Executioner is walking down the aisle.  A lot of people are afraid
    of this guy, Wince."

Wince: "They should be, he's off to a very good start in the WeWF.  And here
    comes his opponent, The Big Kahuna, accompanied by Val Lee."

Baboon: "Val is grossed out by The Executioner!  That's certainly an advantage
    for him."

Wince: "The Big Kahuna doesn't seem to be bothered, he's hammering away on
    The Executioner!"

Baboon: "The Executioner puts a claw on The Kahuna, but I think it's a little
    early.  It's having some effect... and T.B. grabs the ropes.  But that
    leaves him wide open to a shot from The Executioner!"

Wince: "Now The Executioner is going to work through agressive moves, but T.B.
    comes back with a headbutt to the midsection.  And he backdrops the big
    man!"

Baboon: "The Kahuna presses his advantage and drops an elbow on The Executioner.
    The Executioner gets up, and The Kahuna whips him to the ropes..."

Wince: "Clothesline by The Executioner!  It looked like he tried to take The
    Kahuna's head off with that move."

Baboon: "Now The Executioner throws T.B. out of the ring!  That's probably
    a good tactic."

Wince: "The Big Kahuna gets back into the ring, and he forearms The Executioner!
    Irish whip by T.B... and the wipeout powerslam!"

Baboon: "One, two, three!  It's over!  Chalk one up for The Big Kahuna!"

Wince: "Now it's time for our second match of round one, the high-flying
    Photon Torpedo against The Plaid Powerhouse."

Baboon: "I think Photon was always better at singles wrestling than tag team,
    but double P has always been good at both."

Wince: "Here comes The Plaid Powerhouse, and that slime of a manager, Victor
    Rivera Jr.  Listen to the response for his opponent!  Photon Torpedo
    and Admiral Chekov are beaming to the ring!"

Baboon: "Whoah, Chekov had to duck for cover because the match got underway
    quickly!  The Powerhouse grabs Photon Torpedo by the throat!"

Wince: "Come on ref, get in there!  Double P whips Torpedo off the ropes,
    and Torpedo cartwheels away!  What an acrobat!  He jumps up and hits
    The Powerhouse with a dropkick, knocking him out of the ring!"

Baboon: "P.T. slingshots himself out of the ring onto The Powerhouse!  This
    could be an upset in the making!"

Wince: "Hey, Victor Rivera Jr. just blew smoke in Torpedo's face!  Photon
    Torpedo can't see!"

Baboon: "Starfleet medical personnel beam down and fix his eyes, but not before
    Double P lands a chair into the Torpedo's back!"

Wince: "Torpedo tries to roll back into the ring, but The Plaid Powerhouse
    won't let him.  The Powerhouse winds up for another swing of the chair,
    but Torpedo rolls away!  He monkey flips The Plaid one onto the steel
    barricade!"

Baboon: "But Victor Rivera is in the way again, raking Photon's back!  That
    was a mistake!  Photon presses the manager and slams him down on the
    concrete!  But meanwhile The Plaid Powerhouse rolls back into the ring!"

Wince: "Photon didn't hear the ref counting, and he gets counted out!  That
    means Double P gets the win, tying him with T.B. Kahuna at one apiece."

The Secret Agent Man vs. The Grim Reaper

Baboon: "This feud has captured the headlines of the wrestling world all
    throughout August!  Ever since The Secret Agent Man revealed the after-
    hours activities of The Law, they and The Grim Reaper have been out to
    get him!"

Wince: "S.A.M is a model of integrity, unlike those two slimeballs!  They
    sent The Grim Reaper, who's been rising meteorically in past weeks.  Last
    week he destroyed The Killer Whale!  I hope S.A.M does better!"

Baboon: "Let's hear from The Reaper."

Reaper: "Secret Agent Man, the good book says it well, 'it is appointed unto
    men once to die'.  Your appointment is but heartbeats away.  But have
    no fear for the future SAM, because I WILL bury you."

Baboon: "This should be an interesting match-up, the skill of The Secret Agent
    Man against the size and raw power of The Grim Reaper."

Wince: "Here comes The Grim Reaper, with 'Taps' playing in the background.
    This gives me the creeps!"

Baboon: "And now here comes The Secret Agent Man!  Listen to the ovation,
    Wince!"

Wince: "S.A.M wastes no time whipping off his trenchcoat and attacking The
    Reaper!  But his blows aren't having any effect!"

Baboon: "And The Reaper grabs S.A.M. by the throat!  The Secret Agent Man
    is struggling, but he can't get free...  Ear clap!  That will slow
    anybody down!"

Wince: "The Secret Agent Man is loose, and he hiptosses The Grim Reaper!  But
    The Reaper gets right back up!  The Agent bounces off the ropes and
    clotheslines The Reaper!"

Baboon: "That put The Reaper on his back, but he's getting up again!  What
    does it take to stop this guy?  He presses S.A.M. and drops him on the
    mat!"

Wince: "The Agent gets back up too!  Look at the intensity in his eyes!  He
    elbows The Reaper on the top of his head, but The Reaper scoops him up
    and slams him!"

Baboon: "The Grim Reaper axehandles The Agent repeatedly!  That must be taking
    it's toll on S.A.M's back!"

Wince: "Hey!  Two more Grim Reapers just showed up at ringside!  What's going
    on?"

Baboon: "The two wrestlers in the ring see them, but they aren't paying
    attention.  The Secret Agent Man rolls out of the ring and climbs to the
    top rope... clothesline off the top!  That put The Reaper down!"

Wince: "The Reaper is about to get up, but S.A.M. has a plan this time, he's
    keeping The Reaper down by working on his legs!"

Baboon: "The Secret Agent with an elbow drop into The Reaper's hamstring
    muscles!  But The Grim Reaper reaches out and grabs S.A.M. by the hair!"

Wince: "He slams S.A.M. into the mat!  The Grim Reaper gets back up, and
    he throws The Agent out of the ring!  S.A.M. lands hard on the concrete,
    and I think he landed on his injured knee!"

Baboon: "Yes, he did!  He's in pain!  The two Reapers on the outside roll him
    back in, and The Grim Reaper bounces off the ropes... big splash!"

Wince: "He goes for the cover.  One, two, three!  The Grim Reaper wins!"

Baboon: "The two imitation Reapers on the outside just took off their robes...
    It's Judge Dredd and Judge Anderson... The Law!  They grab chairs and roll
    into the ring!"

Wince: "The Reaper and The Law are stomping, kicking, and hitting The Secret
    Agent Man's knee with chairs!  This could be the end of an illustrious
    career!"

Baboon: "They're doing a lot of damage here!  Will anyone stop them!  Judge
    Dredd just grabbed the mike, let's hear what he's got to say."

Dredd: "Secret Agent Man, you've been judged and found guilty.  It's time
    for the death sentence."

Wince: "Oh no!  What could that be?  Wait, here come The Groundbreakers!
    Here comes Mr. B!  Here comes The Big Kahuna!  And The BattleCruisers
    are on their way too!"

Baboon: "The Law and The Grim Reaper are taking cover!  It's a good thing
    those guys showed up when they did, or S.A.M. could have been killed!"

Wince: "He isn't moving!  They're calling for a stretcher and here it comes!
    Look at his knee!  It's way out of joint!"

Baboon: "What despicable actions on the part of The Grim Reaper and The Law!
    They should be fined and suspended!"

Iron Man Tournament, Round 2
         Photon Torpedo vs. The Executioner
         The Big Kahuna vs. The Plaid Powerhouse

Baboon: "It's time for round two.  This will be a very important round, because
    someone will come out in the lead.  Either The Plaid Powerhouse or
    The Big Kahuna will walk away with two wins, the other will only have one."

Wince: "Meanwhile either Photon Torpedo or The Executioner will have a chance
    to catch up.  Let's go to the ring."

Baboon: "The Executioner is entering first.  Nobody seems to know what to think
    about him."

Wince: "He's been seen at some of The Grim Reaper's matches lately.  Mabye the
    two of them will get together."

Baboon: "I wouldn't want to meet either of those guys on Halloween!  Who knows
    what they would do?  But if The Executioner is dark, here's someone bright,
    Photon Torpedo!"

Wince: "He starts the match by flipping into the ring from the turnbuckles!"

Baboon: "The Executioner doesn't look impressed.  So Photon hits him with a
    flying clothesline!  Photon does a kip-up and drops an fist on The
    Executioner!"

Wince: "The Executioner gets up, and Photon hits him with a flying body tackle!
    He's flying all over the ring!"

Baboon: "The Executioner hits Photon with a reverse knife edge to the throat.
    That should slow him down.  Now The Executioner slams him!"

Wince: "He's got the edge in power, no question about it.  He bounces off the
    ropes and shoulderblocks Photon Torpedo, but The Torpedo gets right back
    up!"

Baboon: "Photon climbs to the top rope... walks along the rope... and drops
    a fist right between The Executioner's eyes!"

Wince: "But The Executioner is unfazed!  He grabs Photon Torpedo by the hair
    and slams him into the mat!  That should take the starch out of him."

Baboon: "There's a cover by The Executioner!  One, two, three!"

Wince: "The Executioner picks up a win, tying him with The Big Kahuna and
    The Plaid Powerhouse!"

Baboon: "The Powerhouse is entering first, but he doesn't have Victor Rivera
    Jr. with him!  That's going to put him at a disadvantage!"

Wince: "The Big Kahuna is next, and he's got Val Lee!"

Baboon: "The Powerhouse wants to shake hands!  No, he sucker punches T.B!"

Wince: "Double P whips T.B. into the corner!  He charges in, but The Big
    Kahuna steps out of the way!  The Plaid Powerhouse is dazed, and The
    Big Kahuna atomic drops him!"

Baboon: "But The Plaid Powerhouse rakes The Big Kahuna's eyes!  And now
    he throws a punch!  Val Lee complains to the ref and rightly so!  The
    Powerhouse is throwing the rules out the window!"

Wince: "He puts a hammerlock on The Kahuna, who grabs the ropes, but Double
    P doesn't break the hold!"

Baboon: "I think he wants to get this match over with quickly.  The Kahuna
    whips him off the ropes and bends over for a back body drop, but The
    Plaid one puts on the brakes and delivers a swinging neckbreaker!"

Wince: "The Big Kahuna gets up, and The Plaid Powerhouse tries another punch...
    blocked!  The Big Kahuna kicks Double P and slams him face first into
    the turnbuckle!  Once, twice, three times, four times, five times!"

Baboon: "But The Plaid Powerhouse retaliates by clotheslining T.B.  Now
    Double P is going to the top rope... no, The Kahuna shakes the ropes
    and The Powerhouse crotches himself!"

Wince: "The Kahuna climbs to the top rope and superplexes The Powerhouse
    into the ring!"

Baboon: "One, two, three!  The Big Kahuna wins the match!  That's two for
    him, one each for The Executioner and The Plaid Powerhouse, and none
    for Photon Torpedo."

Mr. B vs. The Red Baron
         for the US Title

Baboon: "It's time for a US Title match!  For weeks The Red Baron has been
    demanding a shot at the US Champion.  Well now he gets one!  Mr. B is
    tired of him mouthing off and decided to give him a title shot, even
    though The Baron isn't a top contender yet."

Wince: "Let's hear from Mr. B."

Mr B: "The great thing about the WeWF is that everyone gets a shot at glory,
    even no-account hacks like The Red Baron!  Baron, you think you're gonna
    just zoom into my airspace and shoot me down, huh!!  A confirmed kill and
    the U.S belt!!  The B grounded!!  Well don't forget what happened to the
    REAL Red Baron - he CRASHED AND BURNED my man!!  WeWF, get ready for an
    instant replay 'cause the B is taking to the air with all guns blazing!!
    I'm gonna unload a mega-payload of wrestling ordinance on this bum and teach
    him that once you venture into that wild blue yonder, the Sting's the Thing
    and what will B will B!!!!"

Baboon: "The Red Baron is on his way to the ring.  Nobody seems to like him
    very much, Wince."

Wince: "Certainly not!  And here comes Mr. B!  One of the best wrestlers in
    all E-Wrestling, and unquestionably one of the most popular, too!"

The Dink: "("Fight the Power" by Public Enemy plays on the speakers) Hailing
    from Newcastle Australia, weighing in at 226 lbs "Thunder from Down Under"
    Mr B!"

Baboon: "The Red Baron takes off his flying goggles... and hits Mr. B in the
    face with them!  The referee takes the goggles away, but The Red Baron
    immediately takes control of the match!"

Wince: "He grabs Mr. B by the hair and drags his face along the top rope!
    Rope burn!  Now he whips Mr. B off the ropes and goes for a clothesline,
    but Mr. B slides through his legs!"

Baboon: "Mr. B pushes The Red Baron to the ropes and rolls him up!  One, two,
    kickout!"

Wince: "A high suplex by Mr. B!  Now he lifts The Red Baron up and gives
    him an airplane spin!  The Red Baron is used to being in airplanes,
    but not when they're spinning like that!"

Baboon: "Mr. B whips The Red Baron off the ropes... reverse crescent kick!
    The Baron goes down!  And Mr. B tries a spinning toe hold, but The
    Baron small packages him!  One, two, we have a new champion... no!
    Kickout by Mr. B!"

Wince: "The Red Baron whips Mr. B into a corner and shoulderblocks him in
    the midsection.  The Baron sets him up for an abdominal stretch, but Mr.
    B squirms around and takes The Baron down with a headscissors!"

Baboon: "Mr. B puts a chinlock on The Red Baron, trying to wear him down.
    The Red Baron escapes with a thumb to the eye."

Wince: "Now he's got a bearhug cinched on Mr. B.  The B struggles... he
    rakes The Red Baron's face, and immediately delivers a belly-to-belly
    suplex!"

Baboon: "Mr. B whips The Red Baron to the ropes and tries for a dropkick...
    but The Baron grabs the ropes!  Mr. B misses!"

Wince: "The Red Baron whips Mr. B to the ropes and kicks him in the face!  Mr. B
    falls back and he's tied in the ropes!"

Baboon: "This could be the break The Baron needs to become the new champion!"

Wince: "He bounces off the far ropes and leaps onto Mr. B!  What a punishing
    maneuver!  He bounces off the ropes to try it again... but Mr. B gets
    loose!  The Red Baron flies over the top rope out to the floor!"

Baboon: "He won't be getting up from that one!  The referee is counting him
    out."

Wince: "That's it, The Red Baron is counted out!  Mr. B successfully defends
    the US Title!"

Baboon: "Wait a minute, The Red Baron just grabbed his flying goggles from
    ringside!  He's sneaking back into the ring behind Mr. B's back!  The
    Red Baron hooks the goggles around Mr. B's neck!  He's choking the life
    out of the champion!"

Wince: "Get some help in there!  The referee is trying to save Mr. B, but
    The Baron has a good grip locked in!"

Baboon: "Finally some help has arrived!  Flint and Steel chase The Red Baron
    away, but Mr. B is gasping for air!"

Wince: "I hope The Baron is fined and suspended!  There was no call for that,
    he was beaten fair and square!"

Iron Man Tournament, Round 3
         The Big Kahuna vs. Photon Torpedo
         The Executioner vs. The Plaid Powerhouse

Baboon: "It's time for the final round!  Here's where we determine the
    new Iron Man!"

Wince: "The Big Kahuna is in the lead, but The Executioner or The Plaid
    Powerhouse could catch up very quickly!"

Baboon: "Here's Photon Torpedo!  He looks a little down after losing his
    first two matches, but he's very quick, so even if he loses a fraction
    of a step he's still faster than T.B!"

Wince: "And here's The Big Kahuna!  The Kahuna whips Photon off the ropes,
    and Photon dropkicks him!"

Baboon: "Photon Torpedo leaps up in the air and puts a flying headscissors
    on The Big Kahuna!  He tries to turn it into a pin, but T.B. kicks out."

Wince: "The Big Kahuna recovers quickly and suplexes Photon Torpedo!  He's
    still in good shape after wrestling two matches, and that's a key factor."

Baboon: "The Big Kahuna lifts Photon up and slams him against the top
    turnbuckle!  Now he gives Photon a backbreaker!"

Wince: "He's working on Photon Torpedo's back, Baboon.  The Big Kahuna bounces
    off the ropes and drops an elbow."

Baboon: "Photon Torpedo is back on his feet, and he does a double leg trip
    takedown!  The Big Kahuna falls flat on his face, but quickly recovers."

Wince: "He's going for a Boston crab... no, Photon Torpedo crawls away!"

Baboon: "The Big Kahuna follows him and axehandles him to the back.  Now
    he's lifting Photon up... and he delivers a shoulderbreaker!"

Wince: "Photon is in pain, but he rolls away and gets back to his feet.
    T.B. charges and Photon armdrags him down!  The Big Kahuna gets up and
    twists Photon's arm, but Photon Torpedo runs up the ropes and flips over,
    untwisting his arm!"

Baboon: "He's coming back!  Right, left, right by Photon Torpedo!  He
    whips The Big Kahuna to the ropes, and The Kahuna shoulderblocks him!"

Wince: "T.B. goes for the cover... one, two, three!"

Baboon: "And The Big Kahuna wins the match!"

Wince: "That last match pretty much wrapped up the tournament, but there's
    still a lot of pride at stake."

Baboon: "Absolutely.  The Plaid Powerhouse and The Executioner would both
    really like to thrash the other.  And here comes The Powerhouse now."

Wince: "And now his opponent, The Executioner!"

Baboon: "The Executioner is charging Double P, but The Powerhouse is trying
    to keep his distance.  He got caught!  Elbow by The Executioner!  And a
    kick!  And he slams The Powerhouse!"

Wince: "The Plaid Powerhouse is trying to take a break, but The Executioner
    won't let him.  The Powerhouse rakes his opponent's face!"

Baboon: "Double P puts an armbar on The Executioner, but The Executioner grabs
    The Powerhouse by the hair.  Headbutt by The Executioner!"

Wince: "The Powerhouse retaliates with a leg sweep, putting The Executioner
    down.  He's climbing to the top rope... and The Powerhouse jumps off the
    top rope with a devastating flying axehandle!"

Baboon: "Now he's going for a reverse chinlock... no, The Executioner powers
    his way out!"

Wince: "The Executioner suplexes The Plaid Powerhouse!  And he goes for a pin!
    One, two, kickout!"

Baboon: "The Powerhouse bounces off the ropes for a cross body block... but
    The Executioner ducks!"

Wince: "The Plaid Powerhouse lands hard on the mat, knocking himself silly!
    He tries to get up, but The Executioner is there."

Baboon: "The Executioner puts a hammerlock on Double P and lifts him up... and
    slams him down!  Flying hammerlock!"

Wince: "I think I heard a popping sound!   The Plaid Powerhouse submits!"

Baboon: "The Executioner wins his second match of the tournament!  He's two
    and one!  The Plaid Powerhouse finishes one and two, and Photon Torpedo
    finishes winless."

Wince: "The Big Kahuna finishes unbeaten!  He wins the Iron Man Tournament
    and retains his title as Iron Man of the WeWF!"

Baboon: "Congratulations, T.B!  Every one of the wrestlers fought hard, and
    we could very easily have seen a different ending."

The General and The Hoosiers vs. Bjorn "The Swedish Pretzel" and The Law
         in a Cage Match

Dredd: "One down, three to go."

Anderson: "Hoosiers, judgement day is at hand.  When we pass judgement on you
    it's gonna make what happened to Secret Agent Man look like a walk in
    the fraggin' park"

Dredd: "And you General, I don't know where you get the nerve to challenge a
    manager, but then I should expect that from some used up, slob like
    yourself.  You couldn't fight your way out of a wet paper bag, let
    alone a steel cage.  And we're about to prove it."

Anderson: "Oh yeah, we're ready for you juves.  Are you ready for..."

Both: "THE LAW!!!!!"

Baboon: "I can't believe they aren't in jail after what they did to The
    Secret Agent Man earlier on!"

Wince: "We have to wait for WeWF President Jack Tummy to pass judgement on
    them.  I don't know what he's going to do.  But they are just one
    pinfall away from a title shot!"

Baboon: "But remember Wince, there are no pins allowed in this cage match.
    It continues until one wrestler is knocked unconscious!"

Wince: "And the cage is sealed on top, so nobody can get out.  Here come
    The Law, Bjorn "The Swedish Pretzel" and The Law's manager Machiavelli!
    The security guards are having a tough time keeping the crowd from getting
    to them!"

Baboon: "The three wrestlers are getting in the cage, while Machiavelli waits
    on the outside."

The Dink: "In this corner, weighing in at a combined weight of 732 pounds,
    From the Basketball capital of the World, Bloomington, Indiana,
    Here are the former Tag Team Champions of the world, the Hoooooosiers,
    and their partner, 3 time former Heavyweight champion of the world,
    the General!!!!!!!"

Wince: "Here they come!  The General and The Hoosiers are making their way
    to the ring!"

Baboon: "The General is chasing Machiavelli around the cage!  He caught him!
    The General handcuffs Machiavelli to the guard rail!  Now we know there
    won't be any outside interference!"

Wince: "Look out!  The Crusher and The Masked Terror are running to the
    ring!  They're attacking The General!  The Law and Bjorn pull The Hoosiers
    into the cage, and the referee shuts the door!"

Baboon: "We've got two handicap matches going on!  We've been wondering what
    The Crusher and The Masked Terror were planning and now we know!  The
    Crusher hits The General with a chair, and The Masked Terror chokes him
    with his boot!"

Wince: "Meanwhile on the inside of the cage, The Hoosiers and The Law are
    trading blows... until Bjorn rams The Hoosiers heads together!"

Baboon: "Tom "The Animal" Brown and Dr. Down-Under are running to the ring!
    Their attacking The Masked Terror!"

Wince: "But I don't think they're here to help The General... Brown kicks
    The General, and Dr. Down-Under whips out his TASER, but The Crusher
    tackles him!  It's mayhem outside the cage!"

Baboon: "It's mayhem inside!  The Hoosiers are putting up a valiant effort,
    but they're up against three of the best e-wrestlers in the world!"

Wince: "It's a three way brawl on the outside!  The General vs. The Crusher
    and The Masked Terror vs. Tom "The Animal" Brown and Dr. Down-Under!"

Baboon: "Erik clotheslines Bjorn, and Daemon follows it with an elbow drop!
    But The Law double body slam Erik!"

Wince: "Daemon dropkicks Judge Anderson!  Bjorn and Erik are brawling, while
    Judge Dredd clobbers the Daemon from behind!"

Baboon: "Erik whips Bjorn into Judge Dredd!  Judge Anderson shoulderblocks
    Erik!  But Daemon climbs up the cage and hangs from the roof!  He
    kicks Anderson in the face!"

Wince: "Batman couldn't have done it any better!  But Bjorn pulls him down!"

Baboon: "Erik is slugging it out with Judge Dredd, but Judge Anderson nails
    Erik in the back!"

Wince: "Outside the ring, Dr. Down-Under has been knocked out by The Crusher!
    The General has knocked out The Masked Terror, and Tom "The Animal" Brown
    has knocked out The General!  I don't think that will end the match though,
    the referee is only watching inside the cage.  Officials are trying to
    break up the melee, but The Crusher and The Animal continue to go at it!"

Baboon: "The Law whip Erik into the cage, and he's busted open!  Daemon
    small packages Bjorn, but that won't win the match!  The Hoosiers are
    getting desperate!"

Wince: "Judge Anderson is climbing the turnbuckles!  Judge Dredd axehandles
    Daemon in the back, rescuing Bjorn!"

Baboon: "Erik is back on his feet, and he slams Judge Anderson off the
    top rope!"

Wince: "But Bjorn sweeps Erik's legs!  He's signalling for the Swedish Pretzel
    figure four, his signature move, and there it is!"

Baboon: "Erik is in pain, but I don't think that's going to make him pass out.
    Daemon is being battered by Judge Anderson, and now Dredd climbs the ropes.
    He jumps off and lands a knee onto Erik's leg, and Erik is still in the
    figure four!"

Wince: "That must have hurt!  It looks like Erik is on the verge of passing
    out!  Judge Dredd is climbing back up!"

Baboon: "If he hits this it's over!  Wait, Daemon whips Judge Anderson into
    Dredd, knocking him off his perch!"

Wince: "A masked guy is running to the ring!  He tosses a can of something
    to Daemon!"

Baboon: "Daemon is spraying everybody in the face!  That stuff must be
    mace!  He throws the can at Judge Anderson, hitting him in the head!"

Wince: "The referee gets the can of mace out of the ring, and the masked
    guy is gone!"

Baboon: "That gave The Hoosiers a chance to rally!"

Wince: "Daemon drops a leg on Bjorn, breaking the figure four!  But Erik is
    too badly hurt to be able to help his partner, even know that he's free."

Baboon: "It's three on one!  Meanwhile, order has been restored outside the
    ring, and all four wrestlers and Dr. Down-Under have been carried away."

Wince: "Daemon is doing a good job, but he's getting hit from three sides!
    Judge Anderson and Bjorn charge him from opposite directions, and he
    steps out of the way!  They collide, and knock each other silly!"

Baboon: "But Judge Dredd is still attacking Daemon!  Judge Anderson gets back
    up and joins in!  Now Bjorn is getting up... but he's going over to Erik
    and re-applying the figure four!"

Wince: "Erik can't take any more pain!  He passes out!  The Law and Bjorn
    win the match!"

Baboon: "But that was hardly fair!  The General never got into the ring, thanks
    to The Crusher and The Masked Terror!"

Wince: "Nevertheless, a win for The Law and Bjorn "The Swedish Pretzel"!  This
    means that The Law will get a title shot, but against who?  Flint and
    Steel, or RnR?"

Flint and Steel vs. RnR
         for the Tag Team Titles

Baboon: "Here's where we find out!  RnR beat Flint and Steel twice, but
    both times were close matches.  What will happen this time?"

Wince: "I don't know, but here are two people who think they do, RnR."

Mr. Roddy: "Tonight, Flint and Steel.  We get our title shot.  And since we
    already beat you in 2 non-title matches.  It shouldn't be too hard
    to see who will be victorious tonight."

Millionaire: "Thats right MR.  Tonight, the titles belong to RnR.  So shine up
    those belts and get ready to face the million dollar team, of RnR."

Wince: "That very well could happen.  But does Mr. Roddy work as well with
    The Millionaire as he did with Lord Roderick?"

Baboon: "I bet he does, Wince.  Keith Skar is always there to make sure they
    both know what they're doing."

Wince: "Meanwhile Flint and Steel are out to avenge their previous losses.  This
    time they have an added incentive, because their titles are on the line."

Baboon: "Absolutely that will make them fight a little harder!  Plus Mike
    Flint is out to avenge his title loss to Mr. Roddy, and neither Flint
    or Steel has ever gotten along well with The Millionaire!"

Wince: "Here come RnR!"

Baboon: "Mr. B is standing in their way!  He and Mr. Roddy are arguing and
    threatening one another, but WeWF officials are keeping it under control.
    RnR climb into the ring and begin preparing for the match."

Baboon: "And here come Flint and Steel!  The bell rings, and we're under way!"

Wince: "The referee is being extra careful for this match, considering the
    fast starts we've had earlier.  Frank Steel and The Millionaire will
    start it off."

Baboon: "Steel is tearing into The Millionaire, and The Millionaire returns
    the favor!  There's no love lost between these two!"

Wince: "None at all.  The Millionaire rakes Steel's face!  He whips Steel
    to the ropes, and Steel clotheslines him!  Listen to the fans!"

Baboon: "The Millionaire tags to Mr. Roddy, who comes in cautiously.  The
    two powerhouses lock up for a test of strength... and neither man gains
    an advantage!  Mr. Roddy kicks Frank Steel in the stomach!"

Wince: "That was a dirty trick but it got the job done.  Mr. Roddy hits
    Steel with an uppercut!  Roddy off the ropes... and he shoulderblocks
    Frank Steel.  Steel tags out, and "Irish" Mike Flint comes in."

Baboon: "Flint twists Roddy's arm, then bounces off the ropes, but The
    Millionaire hits him from behind!"

Wince: "Mr. Roddy charges the stunned Flint, but "Irish" Mike gets out of
    the way, and Mr. Roddy nails The Millionaire!"

Baboon: "Flint slams Mr. Roddy!  He tags out to Steel, who throws Mr. Roddy
    out of the ring."

Wince: "Mr. Roddy rolls back in and tags to The Millionaire.  The Millionaire
    ties up with Steel, who pushes him back to a neutral corner."

Baboon: "The Millionaire gets out with a rake of the face.  And he chops Steel
    several times!  That should take the wind out of him!  Whip by The
    Millionaire!  Steel reverses it!  The Millionaire staggers out of the
    corner, but dodges a charging Frank Steel!"

Wince: "The Millionaire tags out to Mr. Roddy and they double clothesline
    Frank Steel!  He goes down, and Mr. Roddy covers!  One count and a kickout."

Baboon: "Mr. Roddy pulls Steel up by the hair, and suplexes him.  He tags
    to The Millionaire, who jumps off the top rope and lands an elbow on
    Steel!  One, two, kickout again by Steel!"

Wince: "RnR are making quick tags, keeping the fresh man in the ring."

Baboon: "The Millionaire pulls Steel up and slams him, but Steel gets up
    quickly and slams The Millionaire!  Steel lunges to tag his partner,
    but The Millionaire is holding him back!"

Wince: "Steel makes the tag!  Mike Flint comes in and DDT's The Millionaire!
    But Mr. Roddy runs in and attacks Flint before he can try for the pin!"

Baboon: "Flint and Roddy are brawling, and The Millionaire is going to the
    top rope.  Roddy grabs Flint from behind, and he's holding him wide open
    for The Millionaire!"

Wince: "Steel hammers Mr. Roddy in the back, letting Flint lose!  The
    Millionaire jumps off the top rope and Flint punches him in the gut!
    But The Millionaire's momentum sends him crashing into Steel!  Mr. Roddy
    tackles Mike Flint, and the two roll out of the ring, fighting all the
    way!"

Baboon: "But Frank Steel is unconscious!  So is The Millionaire, but The
    Millionaire is on top of Steel!"

Wince: "No, ref, no!"

Baboon: "One!"

Wince: "Two..."

Baboon: "Three!  New champions!"

Wince: "Mr. Roddy and Mike Flint are still fighting on the outside, but
    The Millionaire pinned Frank Steel!  RnR are the new WeWF Tag Team
    Champions!"

Baboon: "Unbelievable!"

Wince: "We'll be back tomorrow with all the ramifications and repercussions!"

Baboon: "For Wince McLady, I'm Baboon Tempest saying so long."