WeWF Summer Report #9

From: arxt@quads.uchicago.edu (Aidan Palmer)

Date: Mon, 26 Aug 1991 01:36:47 +0000

WeWF Summer Report #9         8/25/91

Baboon: "Welcome to the last edition of the WeWF Summer Report!"

Wince: "That's right, it's the last edition, because it goes back to being
    called the WeWF Report next week!  The last official summer event will
    be Saturday's Supercard!"

Baboon: "Next week when you get the Report, it will say "WeWF Report #32".  No,
    that isn't a typo, we're just counting in the non-Summer issues, all 22."

Wince: "We got about six votes, and here are the overwhelming decisions: old
    records will NOT be added in, the high value moves will be different,
    and REP rankings will be reset.  But other than that things will stay
    the same."

Baboon: "Because everyone will be at 0 REP, the title matches will be determined
    by who the top contenders are at the end of this week."

Wince: "Signed so far for the Supercard: The Secret Agent Man against The Grim
    Reaper, and an Iron Man tournament featuring The Big Kahuna and three other,
    as yet unnamed wrestlers."

Baboon: "Let's go to The Secret Agent Man."

"Living the straight-and-narrow is easy.  But nobody ever said the same
 about enforcing it.  Dredd & Anderson, YOU scum chose to make things
 hard on yourself, and now you want to make it hard on me.  Biiiiiiiiiig
 mistake.  My investigations don't have to end HERE."

"Yeah, I'm still smarting from your attacks.  But my knee will heel, the
 information *I* released on you will always be around.  There's nothing
 you, or any other scum, can do about that.  I know some of you others
 are looking for the Secret Agent Man.  Hey, I'm here, I'm not hiding,
 but I'll deal with YOU later.  Y'see, I've got Supercard on my mind.
 All I think about is this Grim Reaper.  Just when I thought I drove the
 guy from the WeWF, he's back, and he wants me.  I know he's big and he's
 scum, but he has nothing to hide.  So why the obsession?  To prove to
 the rest of you WeWF scum that the even the biggest and baddest dudes
 can't stop the Secret Agent Man.  You can't get rid of me, and if you
 try, <chuckles> well I guess I'll just have something else to expose.
 Grim Reaper, I'll be ready for you!  And the rest of you BETTER START
 LIVIN' THE STRAIGHT-AND-NARROW, 'CAUSE IF THE SECRET AGENT MAN FINDS
 OUT OTHERWISE, IT'LL BE "CASE CLOSED" FOR YOU."

Wince: "Wow!  I think he's ready for that match!"

Robby: "But his knee doesn't look too good.  I don't think he'll wrestle
    this week."

Wince: "This week Mr. Roddy will defend his World Title against "Irish" Mike
    Flint, Mr. B defends his US Title against The Big Kahuna and Flint and
    Steel defend their Tag Team Titles against The Law."

Baboon: "With us again, our guest analyst, Simon Bolendorf."

Simon: "All your morons got a break last week while I was on vacation in
    Florida... but I'm back again.  All you idiots can breathe a sigh
    of relief... I'll give you the relief from these pea-brained
    announcers!"

Baboon: "Why don't you just leave right now, Simon, and give us all a break!  I
    know I enjoyed last week!"

Simon: "Believe me, I don't want to be seen with you losers, but I have
    an important announcement to make later on tonight!"

Wince: "Hmmm, I wonder what it could be?  But right now let's hear from The
    General and The Hoosiers!"

General: "This is the General, here with the Hoosiers.  Now there's been
    some heavy accusations towards my character in recent weeks.  I want people
    to know that I've had enough of it!  Law, you two bums have accused my
    character enough!  But, you decide to challenge the Hoosiers instead.
    Erik, Daemon, are you two up for the challenge?"

Erik: "We whooped those two hogs silly the last time we wrestled them.
    They still haven't forgiven us for the Double DDT we hit on them the
    last time we got in the squared circle with them.  That Judge Dredd
    thinks he's all big and bad, well he's a tub of goo that doesn't belong
    in the ring.  They couldn't beat Club Anarchy in a cage, and they can't
    beat us either!"

Daemon: "Judge Anderson, you claim you're quick?  The only thing you're
    fast enough to catch is a cold!  Have you recovered from the last beating
    we gave you?  You're a bunch of low-life gutless cowards!  No more, no
    less!"

General: "Well, I see that my boys are ready!  Well Law, I want you guys
    too!  We'll accept your challenge on 2 conditions.  1)  It's not one of
    them wimp WWF cage matches!  The cage gets sealed on top too!  The match
    ends when one man is knocked unconscious.  2)  It won't be 2 on 2.  Make
    it 3 on 3!  I'll join the Hoosiers and you throw in that clown Machiavelli!
    That'll guarantee no outside interference, and we'll handle you guys
    Indiana style!"

Wince: "How about that stipulation?  The General wants to get Machiavelli in
    the ring."

Robby: "The General is a real bully!  He's wrestled me, and he's wrestled
    Simon!  I guess he's too cowardly to wrestle anybody but a manager."

Baboon: "How many times has Darkseid held the World Title, Lame?"

Robby: "Well, uh, uhm..."

Baboon: "In fact, I understand The General and Darkseid are going to fight
    this week.  Do you still think The General is a coward?"

Robby: "Maybe, maybe not."

Wince: "Say, what happened to The Emperor?  We haven't seen him or any of
    his cronies lately... except you and Darkseid."

Robby: "They're waiting for something."

Simon: "Pizza delivery from Domino's?"

Robby: "They told me not to tell anyone, and if I did, you three would be
    the last three I'd tell."

Baboon: "Let's go to The Crusher."

The Crusher: "Yo Granite Head, your brain must be made of rock if you're
    stupid enough to come after The Crusher!"

Green Jean: "But Mr. Crusher, who is this Masked Terror, and where does he fit
    in?"

The Crusher: "I don't know who The Masked Terror is, but Simon is working on
    that... we shall see!"

Baboon: "That's one of the ongoing mysteries in the WeWF.  Who is The Masked
    Terror, and why does he want to help The Crusher?"

Wince: "We have comments this week from The Terror, and this time they're in
    English."

The Masked Terror: [in very mellow, laid back tones] "Yo, dudes!  This is,
    like, just to let the totally bogus Dr. Down Under and Tom "the Chicken"
    Brown know where I'm comin' from, ya know.  Like, can the negative vibes,
    dudes.  I'm, like, not from Australia, okay?  I mean, like, fer shure!  No
    one who's anyone would even admit to being from that, like, totally un-cool
    zone, man. (Although they do have some bitchin' surf.)  So just, like,
    chill out, ya know.  You boys just do yer own thing, I got no gripe with
    ya.  'Nuff said.

"And, like, one more thing.  You all are officially being put on notice.
    Me and that way cool dude, The Crusher, are, like, going to reach the top
    of the WeWF heap real soon now.  So, just remember: 'Play hard, play by
    our rules, and, hey, no one gets hurt.'  You'll even be able to say you
    were there to see it all, ya know.  Party on, like, forever, dudes!"

Robby: "Could The Masked Terror be The Big Kahuna?"

Baboon: "Highly unlikely, Lame."

Wince: "Simon, do you have any inside information about The Masked Terror?"

Simon: "Not yet, McLady.  But I will tell you that The Maniacs have just
    finished the next phase of their rehabilitation; they are even more
    ready to shove their way through the ranks of the WeWF... watch out
    world champions!"

Baboon: "The Maniacs have a lot of potential.  Last week we missed two of
    their victories in the match reports, one over The BattleCruisers, another
    over The Wyld Stallyons."

Wince: "Let's hear from those two teams right now."

Rufus: "Bill and Ted can't be with me this week - They're at Waterlube,
    relaxing before this week's matches. They've made a slow start _but_
    I expect great things of my boys in the future. So look out, Mexican
    Delights, at the supercard you will pay!"

(Admiral Chekov and his men are looking at a videotape of a Wyld Stallyons
 interview; why they would want to do that is beyond me.)

Chekov (presses STOP as the tape ends): "Wyld Stallyons!  Indeed!  And some
    people said that WE were lame!"

Photon: "Well, maybe we are lame, but at least we WIN some matches, every other
     fourth of July or so!"

Disrupter: "Stallyons, you pathetic!  You shame to WeWF!  True Klingon Warrior
    cannot bear Dishonor you bring!  You going down!"

Chekov: "The Trekkies always prevail; and against you, Wyld Stallyons, it's not
    even going to be funny!  Chekov out!"

Wince: "The Wyld Stallyons have issued a challenge to the Mexican Delights for
    the Supercard, but this week they will have to face The BattleCruisers."

Baboon: "Speaking of the Supercard, let's hear from The Executioner."

Executioner: "I've been watching you, Big Kahuna... you think you're hot... but
    are you brave enough to let The Executioner into your ironman tournament?
    My blade is high-tensile steel... and heads will roll..."

Wince: "That makes two wrestlers in the tournament.  It's halfway full!"

Baboon: "Last week Keith Skar surprised us with the announcement that Lord
    Roderick was leaving the WeWF!  This week, he has another announcement
    for us.  Let's go to Mr. Roddy and his manager."

Mr. Roddy is accompanied by 2 men in black robes.  One man is carrying
the WeWF belt.

Mr. Roddy: "This week Mike Flint gets his chance to take away something I own.
    Should be a tough match.  I welcome the challenge.  But only the best
    wrestler will come out the victor.  And I plan to be the victor."

Keith Skar: "I have another announcement to make.  This week marks the
    introduction of the man who will be taking Lord Roderick's place in the team
    of RnR.  He is no stranger to the WeWF.  He has taken some time off but now
    he is back.  I introduce... the Millionaire!!!"

Millionaire: "That's right.  The man of wealth, fame and class has come back to
    the WeWF.  This federation finally has somebody that they can look up to.
    I already have the fame, glory, and of course, money, so people might
    wonder why I have returned.  The reason is simple.  Championships.
    And I have always gotten what I want."

Robby: "The Millionaire is back?  This should be interesting."

Baboon: "Frank Steel, a long time nemesis of The Millionaire still hasn't
    found out, but when he does, sparks may fly.  We got comments from Steel
    this week, who's talking about his upcoming match against The Grim Reaper."

Steel: "The Grim Reaper, what a cheery name.  You know we used to have a guy
    around here who went by the name of Death, maybe you know him, what a
    psycho.  Well Grim Reaper, you better hope that that is who you are so that
    you are used to the heat from the fires of Hell, because I'm used to
    the heat from the Steel Blast Furnaces and I plan on making it real hot for
    you when we get into to ring."

Baboon: "Let's go to Lord Winfred Vague.  Lord Winfred, who won the singles
    matches?"

Vague: "The Grim Reaper thoroughly demolished The Killer Whale.  I have it
    on good authority that The Whale will never wrestle again!  The Reaper
    also pinned Frank Steel.

"The General beat Darkseid, The Executioner, and The Masked Terror, to
    move up several notches in the rankings.  He tried to unmask the Terror,
    but The Terror was wearing another mask underneath!

"The Crusher was another big winner this week, he beat Frank Steel and
    The Red Baron, though both were very close matches.

"The Millionaire got a rude welcome back, he was pinned by Johnny Granite
    in a very close match.  The Plaid Powerhouse beat Tom "The Animal" Brown,
    and The Executioner beat The Masked Terror.  I'll be back later with
    results from the tag team matches."

Baboon: "And we have some interesting tag team matches this week."

Robby: "Yeah, Oroboros against The Wyld Stallyons!"

Simon: "Well, this will be the match to end all matches... The two LAST PLACE
    teams are fighting for the right to hold that distinguished position
    of the scum of the earth!"

Wince: "Please.  They are both very skilled teams."

Robby: "Yeah, it takes skill to lose so many matches!"

Baboon: "That's something you know a lot about, Robby."

Wince: "Anyway, let's find out who won this week."

Vague: "The Wyld Stallyons lost twice, once to the Oroboros, and once to
    The Hoosiers!  In the match against The Hoosiers, a fan threw a full beer
    can at The General, hitting him in the head!  Security ushered the fan out,
    and The General wasn't badly hurt.

"The Wyld Stallyons bounced back and beat The BattleCruisers.  After
    that match, the Oroboros ran in and tarred and feathered The Klingon
    Disrupter and Admiral Chekov!

"The new RnR won both of their matches, one over Team Supreme, and the
    other over Flint and Steel in a non-title match!  In other action, The
    Maniacs beat The Mexican Delights.  Back to you Wince, Baboon, Robby, and
    Simon!"

Baboon: "This is the second time RnR has beaten Flint and Steel in a non-title
    match!  They deserve a title shot soon."

Wince: "That loss must have taken some of the momentum away from Flint and
    Steel going into their title defense."

Baboon: "Absolutely.  Right now it's time for the US Title match!  I understand
    The Red Baron has something to say."

Red Baron: "Zo, no rezponze from ze US champion eh?  Ziz meanz I muzt repeat my
    challenge! To whoever vinz ze US title match ziz veekend, I challenge you to
    meet me at ze zupercard for ze title!  You pick ze match type, I vill beat
    you!"

Baboon: "The Red Baron has issued a challenge to the US Champion, whoever that
    is after this match."

Simon: "Well, ladies and germs, here's the sleeper match for tonight, Mr.
Bum against The Big Balloona for the US Titles.  Mr. B is continuing his
search for a mission in life, and The Big Balloona is out to prove he's only
full of hot air."  [Laughter]

Baboon: "I don't know about that...  Let's go to Mr. B."

Mr B: "You know Green Jean, holding the U.S title is a learning experience in
    wrestling. Every week you have to face down the most skilled and dangerous
    opponents in the world, and they just keep on coming!  Now the Big Kahuna is
    coming at me again, just like the outstanding example to young grapplers
    that he is.  However, he's going to be disappointed 'cause this time
    will be just like the last!  The belt's staying right where it is!"

Green Jean: "What about the ever present Mr. Roddy?"

Mr. B: "Yeah I've seen that skunk lurking around my matches, but let me tell you
    I've got his number!!  Roddy, you've got a hell of a surprise coming to you,
    sunshine but what will B will B!!"

Rusty: "Rusty Nose live and in cullah at ringside with his Lordship, Winfred
    Vague."

Vague: "Watch the match, Rusty!  Devastating clothesline by The Big Kahuna!
    But Mr. B gets right back up again!  Mr. B taps T.B. on the shoulder, T.B.
    turns around... and gets dropkicked in the face!"

Rusty: "The Kahuna gets back to his feet, and Mr. B takes him down with a
    fireman's carry slam!"

Vague: "Mr. B twists The Big Kahuna's arm and drops an knee onto The Kahuna's
    bicep."

Rusty: "The Kahuna powers his way back to his feet and whips Mr. B off the
    ropes... and powerslams him!  It could be over already!  One, two, kickout!"

Vague: "The title almost changed hands right there.  The Big Kahuna lifts
    Mr. B up and slams him down.  Elbow drop by T.B.  He lifts Mr. B up for
    a suplex, then slams him down from that position!"

Rusty: "That's the kind of move that wins titles!  The Big Kahuna is going to
    the top rope...  Mr. B is still down.  T.B. jumps off the top rope for a
    splash, but Mr. B rolls away."

Vague: "Mr. B is getting back to his feet.  He is climbing the ropes.  He jumps
    off the top rope for a flying elbow... but The Big Kahuna rolls away!"

Rusty: "Both wrestlers are down!  They are slowly getting back to their feet.
    The Big Kahuna punches Mr. B.  Mr. B punches The Big Kahuna!  The Big Kahuna
    swings at Mr. B and misses!"

Vague: "Look who's watching from ringside.  It's Mr. Roddy again!"

Rusty: "But this time he's got a camera and he's taking pictures!"

Vague: "Mr. B kicks The Big Kahuna, causing him to bend over.  Small package
    by Mr. B!  One, two, kickout by T.B."

Rusty: "The Big Kahuna whips Mr. B off the ropes... cross-body block by Mr. B!
    But The Big Kahuna uses his opponent's momentum to keep rolling and reverse
    the move!"

Vague: "Mr. B kicks out.  But one lucky move like that could end it.  The Big
    Kahuna rams Mr. B face first into the top turnbuckle."

Rusty: "Mr. Roddy is going away.  I guess he saw what he wanted to see."

Vague: "The Big Kahuna climbs the turnbuckles.  He's pounding on Mr. B!"

Rusty: "In desperation Mr. B punches The Big Kahuna in the stomach!  T.B.
    gets down.  Mr. B whips him into the far turnbuckles and charges in for
    the B's Sting!"

Vague: "He nailed it!  Small package now by Mr. B, one, two, three!"

Rusty: "Mr. B wins again.  The Big Kahuna came close, but not close enough."

Baboon: "Another successful title defense by Mr. B!"

Wince: "He's really been doing well ever since he dumped Dr. Down-Under."

Baboon: "Moving right along, we come to our next title match, Flint and
    Steel defending against The Law."

Simon: "And tonight, The Law's gonna give its verdict regarding Flint
    and Steel.  Just remember, Law... when you pass your verdict, make sure
    you send them to the Maniacs for some good old-fashioned mental
    rehabilitation!"

Robby: "Physicians, heal thyselves!"

Wince: "Stop quarreling, you two.  Let's hear from the champs."

Flint, Steel and Molly are in a Texas saloon.

Molly: "You may wonder why we are down here in this beat-up Texas saloon."

Steel: "Well, this is the very saloon that Judge Roy Bean administered his
    brand of justice from."

Flint: "You see Law, us union men have had a long history with your type of
    justice."

Steel: "From the Calumet, Michigan massacre where 87 people, mainly women and
    children were killed when management thugs stormed a union gathering..."

Molly: "... To the Haymarket Square riots where federal troops fired on
    demonstratiing union men and women..."

Flint: "... To the Pinkerton infiltration of the United Mine Workers and the
    coal wars that followed..."

Steel: "... To when Frankin Roosevelt sent in the National Guard to break a
    strike against US Steel.  You see Law, the Secret Agent Man and the
    Hoosiers were surprised by you tactics."

Flint: "We're used to them.  And were ready for 'em."

Molly: "Roy Bean was known as a hangin' judge.  Judge Anderson, Judge Dredd,
    we're gonna hang you out to dry."

Steel: "'Cause this time it's personal."

Vague: "Frank Steel and Judge Dredd start off.  They lock up, and Steel pushes
    Dredd back to the ropes.  Dredd rakes Steel's face!"

Rusty: "Judge Dredd bounces off the ropes and shoulderblocks Steel, knocking
    him down.  Steel gets up, and Dredd slams him!"

Vague: "Steel gets up again, Dredd goes for another slam, but Steel blocks it!
    He slams Dredd!"

Rusty: "Dredd gets up and they trade rights and lefts.  They're both dazed.
    Dredd tags in Anderson, who bounces off the ropes and drops Steel with
    a flying clothesline!"

Vague: "But Steel rolls to his corner and tags in Flint!  Anderson rakes Flint's
    eyes!  Flint takes a wild swing... and connects!  Anderson is out cold!"

Rusty: "Flint is staggering around, though.  He's blinking, and he can see again
    now.  But Anderson has recovered, and he tags out to Dredd."

Vague: ""Irish" Mike Flint suplexes Judge Dredd.  Dredd rolls out of the
    ring."

Rusty: "Flint tags out to Steel.  Frank Steel grabs Dredd by the hair and
    pulls him back into the ring!"

Vague: "Double leg takedown by Dredd!  That's a good amateur move."

Rusty: "Dredd tags out to Anderson, who jumps in from the top turnbuckle
    and lands an axehandle on Steel's shoulder."

Vague: "Steel goes down, and Anderson puts him in a Boston crab!"

Rusty: "Frank Steel is fighting it, but I don't think he can get out.  Flint
    saves his partner by clotheslining Judge Anderson!"

Vague: "Flint is taking his time getting back to his corner, and Dredd runs
    in and hits him from behind!  Judge Dredd throws Flint out of the ring!"

Rusty: "I didn't see a tag!  Why is Dredd staying in the ring?  He and Anderson
    are pounding on Steel!"

Vague: "Mike Flint rolls back into the ring!  He punches Dredd!  He punches
    Anderson!  "Irish" Mike is cleaning house!"

Rusty: "Steel gets up and they whip Anderson to the ropes... double
    shoulderblock!  Dredd is catching his breath, leaning against the ropes...
    and they double clothesline him over the top rope!"

Vague: "Now Flint and Steel whip Anderson to the rope, and they give him a
    double back body drop!  They say when you have Flint and Steel you have
    fire, well Flint and Steel are on fire right now!"

Rusty: "They lift Anderson up into a press slam position!  A double press
    slam!  Now Steel is putting Anderson on his shoulders, and Flint is
    climbing to the top rope."

Vague: "They are going for the top rope DDT!  The bell rings!  There's the
    DDT!"

Rusty: "The referee has disqualified Flint and Steel for excessive double
    teaming!"

Vague: "That wasn't very fair!  Look out, Judge Dredd just grabbed a chair!"

Rusty: "Molly Maguire tries to grab it away from him... but Dredd hits her
    with it!  He's winding up to hit her again... Flint and Steel to the
    rescue!"

Vague: "The Law are running away.  I can't believe they would attack a woman!
    What cowards!"

Baboon: "What a match!  The Law win by DQ, but Flint and Steel keep the belts!"

Robby: "Cheaters."

Wince: "The Law are certainly in good position to start off the fall as
    World Tag Team Champions."

Baboon: "I hope Flint is rested, because he's got to face Mr. Roddy for the
    World Title."

Simon: "This match I'm going to enjoy... Mr. Roddy's going to totally
    destroy "Irish" Mike Flunk until he's green with envy over Mr. Roddy's
    skills."

Baboon: "I wouldn't count on it, and neither would this guy."

Flint: "Mr. Roddy, so you got the World Title, congratulations, I'm happy
    for you, I hope you enjoy it, because I had that title for quite a while
    and I got pretty used to having it around my waist, so throw up whatever
    bulwarks and defenses you want because I'm coming for my belt."

Vague: "Mr. Roddy is tearing into Flint before the bell!  Flint headbutts
    Mr. Roddy!  Mr. Roddy hiptosses Mike Flint."

Rusty: "Mr. Roddy is choking Flint!  Isn't that against the rules?"

Vague: "Of course it is!  That's why the referee is threatening to disqualify
    him.  Flint gets back on his feet.  He whips Mr. Roddy to the ropes,
    but Mr. Roddy reverses it!"

Rusty: "And Keith Skar pulls the rope down!  But Flint was ready for it,
    and he twisted at the last second and landed on Skar!"

Vague: "What a move!  Mr. Roddy goes outside the ring to attack Flint.  He
    rakes his face, and bulldogs him on the concrete!"

Rusty: "That put "Irish" Mike Flint down.  Mr. Roddy isn't even stopping his
    attack to check on his manager, he's just pounding away on Flint!"

Vague: "He rolls Flint back into the ring.  Flint bounces off the ropes, and
    Mr. Roddy catches him in a choke maneuver!  A hair pull by Mr. Roddy puts
    Flint on the mat."

Rusty: "Flint tries to get up, and Mr. Roddy throws him back down by the hair.
    Flint grabs Mr. Roddy by the hair and headbutts him!"

Vague: "Flint whips Mr. Roddy to the turnbuckles!  Mr. Roddy staggers back
    out.  Atomic drop by Flint!"

Rusty: "Now Flint bounces off the ropes and clotheslines Mr. Roddy!  Mr. Roddy
    goes down, and Flint goes for a cover!  One count and a kickout by the
    champion."

Vague: "Mr. Roddy gets up, but Flint puts a hammerlock on him and lifts him
    up... and then slams him back down!  A flying hammerlock by Mike Flint!"

Rusty: "Mr. Roddy is in a lot of pain, but he isn't giving up.  Flint scoops
    him up for a bodyslam... no, a shoulderbreaker!"

Vague: "A face rake by Mr. Roddy!  He rolls away to buy some time.  Flint chases
    him, but Mr. Roddy elbows Flint in the gut!  Now Mr. Roddy is choking Flint
    on the bottom rope, and he's bracing himself against the top rope for
    extra leverage!"

Rusty: "Get in there, ref!  Mr. Roddy breaks the choke to avoid getting
    disqualified."

Vague: "And now Mr. Roddy has the upper hand.  He's putting a bear hug on
    Mike Flint!  That's a legal way to take someone's air away!"

Rusty: "Flint powers out of it!  Mr. Roddy punches him!  Mr. Roddy goes for
    a suplex... but he can't get Flint up!  Flint goes for a suplex... but
    Mr. Roddy blocks it!'

Vague: "Now Mr. Roddy goes for a suplex... this time he got Flint up!
    A forward suplex by Mr. Roddy!"

Rusty: "He goes for the pin!"

Vague: "One, two, three!"

Rusty: "Mr. Roddy wins the match!  And here come three black robed men... and
    The Millionaire!  They're attacking the already downed Flint!"

Vague: "Here comes Frank Steel with a chair!  He cleans house and saves his
    partner!"

Wince: "That was a despicable attack!"

Baboon: "You've got that right, Wince."

Simon: "Alright, now the announcement all you goons have been waiting for...
    I've made a deal that will help sponsor the first Rough Rumble...
    A huge battle royal that will involve two dozen wrestlers, one
    entering the ring every 60 seconds... the last one in the ring
    will win an all expenses paid vacation to Hawaii for 6!  If you
    want to join in on the action, send your name to WeWF HQ at
    arxt@midway.uchicago.edu and you can be involved in the action.
    And for all you losers out there in TV land, you can see it on Pay Per
    View for only $699.95 on September 15th!"

Baboon: "Wow, that is big news!"

Wince: "Next week, we'll see Mr. Roddy defend the World Title against The
    General, and Mr. B defends against Bjorn "The Sweedish Pretzel".  For the
    World Title, the winner of the Hoosiers vs. Law match at The Supercard (if
    the match takes place) will face Flint and Steel!"

Baboon: "Maybe not, Wince.  I just got a message from WeWF President Jack
    Tummy.  He has booked Flint and Steel against RnR in the main event of
    the Supercard!  RnR have beaten Flint and Steel twice in non-title
    matches, now they have a chance to do it in with the gold on the line!"

Wince: "We have some other Supercard matches, The Grim Reaper against The
    Secret Agent Man, an Ironman tournament involving The Big Kahuna,
    The Executioner, and two other wrestlers who enter between now and
    Saturday."

Baboon: "Plus there is the challenge from The Wyld Stallyons to The Mexican
    Delights for a No DQ match, the challenge from The Red Baron to
    Mr. B, and the challenge from The Law to The Hoosiers."

Wince: "We'll see you all at the Supercard, so long everyone!"

WeWF World Champion: Mr. Roddy (10-6-1)           65 REP

US Champion: Mr. B (11-5-1)                       81 REP

Tag Team Champions: Flint and Steel (9-3)         55 REP

1. Bjorn "The Sweedish Pretzel" (11-2)         85 REP
 2. The General (11-6)                          79 REP
 3. "Irish" Mike Flint (7-5)                    58 REP
 4. The Big Kahuna (8-7)                        48 REP
 5. The Plaid Powerhouse (8-3)                  41 REP
 6. The Grim Reaper (5-0)                       40 REP
 7. The Crusher (9-4-1)                         36 REP
 8. Tom "The Animal" Brown (10-5)               28 REP
 9. The Executioner (3-1)                       22 REP
10. Frank Steel (5-9-1)                         18 REP
11. Darkseid the Destroyer (4-2)                11 REP
12. Nostradamus (1-1)                            8 REP
13. Black Tiger (3-4)                            4 REP
14. Johnny Granite (2-3)                         0 REP
15. The Millionaire (0-1)                       -2 REP
16. The Red Baron (2-4)                         -2 REP
17. Johann "Great Dane" Svenson (1-2)           -3 REP
18. The Nacho Kid (0-1)                         -7 REP
19. Old Guzzer (1-1)                           -13 REP
20. Juggernaut (2-4)                           -14 REP
21. Razor (2-5)                                -19 REP
22. The Heavy Metal Kid (1-5-1)                -28 REP
23. The Secret Agent Man (4-9)                 -30 REP
24. The Masked Terror (4-10)                   -31 REP
25. The Killer Whale (1-6)                     -42 REP

Tag Teams:

1. The Law (8-2)                               76 REP
 2. The Hoosiers (8-3)                          74 REP
 3. RnR (10-4)                                  67 REP
 4. The Highlanders (4-1)                       19 REP
 5. The BattleCruisers (6-4-1)                  14 REP
 6. Team Supreme (7-7-1)                        10 REP
 7. The Dynamic Machine (3-2)                    5 REP
 8. Mexican Delights (0-2)                     -13 REP
 9. The Maniacs (4-6)                           -2 REP
10. The Groundbreakers (1-3)                   -18 REP
11. Wyld Stallyons (1-6)                       -30 REP
12. Oroboros (3-10)                            -60 REP