WeWF Report #38

From: arxt@quads.uchicago.edu (Aidan Palmer)

Date: Sun, 10 Nov 1991 23:32:00 +0000

WeWF Report #38           11/10/91

Baboon: "Welcome, everyone, to another WeWF Report!"

Wince: "Last week we didn't have a report, so this week we've got twice
    the action!"

Baboon: "Indeed, plus a whole host of new wrestlers have arrived."

Wince: "Plus some wrestlers have gotten back into the swing of things...
    The Groundbreakers, for example."

Crazy Eirik: "Okay, we've been busy for a couple of weeks.  But now we're
    back, and we're ready to take care of some bad business.  Right guys?"

Johnny Granite: "You turn your back for a while, and look what happens.
    The Red Baron oozes back under the door.  I don't know what possessed
    Slim Heard to let you back in the WeWF, Baron, but I'm gonna send you
    right back out again!"

Johann Svenson: "Tom Brown, you've been shooting your mouth off, whining
    about not getting a title shot handed to you on a silver platter.  You
    don't seem to realize that in the WeWF, a man's gotta EARN his title
    shots based on his own ability, not rely on his manager's portable
    electric chair!  You got a lesson to be learned, Brown, and I'm the
    one that's gonna teach you!"

Crazy Eirik: "And don't even DREAM of getting involved, Down-Under, or I
    might just go a little crazy!"

Wince: "Once they regroup, they'll be a force to be reckoned with."

Baboon: "Johann Svenson issuing a very bold challenge to "the hardest man
    in wrestling" Tom "The Animal" Brown.  We'll hear from Brown later
    on."

Wince: "Now let's hear from a new entrant to the ranks of the WeWF.  He
    call's himself... Lucifer."

(background music: 'Blood Red' by Slayer, carries a pitchfork, wears inverted
crosses, 666's and so on)

"Greetings to you all. I am Lucifer, the Prince of Evil. I have come to show
    you the Powers of Darkness, and YOU, Rustin Nose, have the great honor of
    being my first demonstration piece...  May you rest in peace."

Baboon: "This guy will be dangerous, no question about it.  I almost
    feel sorry for Rustin Nose and anyone else who has to face Lucifer."

Wince: "In addition to new and returning wrestlers, we've got wrestlers
    coming in from the EMWA!  Here's one now."

The scene opens with a close up of the American Flag, panning
back we see it is the flag on the back of Gentleman Jim Nice's
jacket...

"Hi, some of you may remember me as Gentleman Jim Nice, up and
    coming high flyer from the EMWA.  Well, I've been on the shelf for
    a while, but I am planning on coming out of my semi-retirement
    and I hear the place to be is the WeWF, so that's where I want
    to be!

"I'm a hard working, high flyer and my favorite move is the Indian
    Death Lock leg hold, taught to me by my Grandad who was part
    Sioux.

"So come on all you rough and tough WeWF dudes, I'm waiting...."

-- With peals of God Bless America by Kate Smith thundering in
   the background, we fade to black.....

Baboon: "Gentleman Jim Nice had a few words with The Crusher at the
    first Summit of E-Wrestling.  I wonder if they'll settle that score
    soon?"

Wince: "I'd like to see Gentleman Jim match his Indian Death Lock up against
    Bjorn's Swedish Pretzel."

Baboon: "Let's go to that fountain of misinformation, Dr. Down-Under."

Dr Down-Under: "So the WeWF lets its champions declare that they are pussies!
    Only one Title defended at the Supercard!  Well Tom "The Animal" Brown
    challenges the U.S Champion, whoever he may be to a Shock Treatment match
    FOR the Title at the NEXT Supercard!  Think about it chumps!  When I arrived
    in the WeWF, I promised to implement a Scorched Earth policy.  I think that
    I achieved my goal!!  But now the next, EVEN MORE, terrifying phase
    begins... I present the new force in E-Wrestling... DEVASTATION INC."

[Tom "The Animal" Brown and "Crusher" Cootus appear].

This is the team that will drive all other whimpering milksops into panicked
    hiding, just like Mr B!!"

"Crusher" Cootus: "So the Crusher is STILL trading on my name and reputation?
    Well the ONE TRUE Crusher is back to put an end to that!!!  See you at the
    next Supercard in a NAME match sucker, ha ha ha ha...."

Wince: "Oh no!  I remember how much damage O.S.E did, and I bet Dr. Down-Under
    is making this team even more devious!"

Baboon: "Count on it, Wince.  Now "Crusher" Cootus wants to face The Crusher.
    That would be an interesting match-up."

Wince: "Well, it would settle once and for all who the true Crusher is, now
    that Doug "Crusher" Corey is out."

Baboon: "Did you realize that Devastation, Inc. still have the WeWF 6-man
    belts, Wince, even though those titles have been retired?"

Wince: "Indeed, but they only hold two-thirds.  No way would Mr. B give
    them his third of the title.  Maybe Devastation, Inc. will find a
    partner and enroll in the Freebirds/Von Erich memorial tournament?"

Baboon: "They still have a ways to go as a tag team, but here's a team
    that's already a household name."

Maniac #1: "Well, you Kingkongs, you're so scared of us I see you've declined
    another match with us!  Fear is a mental disease we've been cured of,
    and are ready to teach you about!"

Maniac #2: "And when we do, we'll also teach you what it's like to get beat
    up!"

Simon Bolendorf: "Well Kingkongs, I've tamed yet another personality of the
    Maniacs.  But I can't guarantee they'll be tame for long... just hope
    that you're not in the ring with them when they let go..."

Baboon: "They want another shot at The Klingons!"

Wince: "We know they want it bad, because they dressed up as Team Supreme
    for the Supercard and attacked The Klingons!"

Baboon: "Here's another team with a score to settle, Apocalypse Now."

Death: "Law we told you you're gonna get it..."

War: "... and you did.  We congradulate the General and his partners at your
    defeat."

Both: "Feel the POWER of the APOCALYPSE."

Baboon: "Apocalypse Now are still on the trail of The Law."

Wince: "I'm sure The Law would like to face Apocalypse Now, but they've
    got their hands full with The Hoosiers!"

Baboon: "Steelgrave has battled The Sandman in the last two weeks, but
    we haven't had a decisive victory yet.  Let's hear from the World
    Champion."

(Scene: Steelgrave is seen standing in a pitch black room, with one harsh
spotlight which falls directly on his face.  He looks into the camera)

"Sandman.  You claim to be the brother of Death.  You claim to bring sleep
    to your opponents.  Sleep and death, like pain and fear, have nothing to do
    with me.  You are impressive, Sandman, but you are still human.  And I am
    the Machine"

(The Spotlight brightens until it whites out the camera.  Cut to black.)

Wince: "Now it's time for a feature returning to the WeWF Report, Crazy
    Jay and the WeWF Spotlight!"

========================  WeWF Wrestling Spotlight ==========================

Jay: "Hey fans!  Crazy Jay Morgan here again.  And what a development here
    in the WeWF.  The rumours have been going around for months.  And
    ladies and gentlemen, let me be the first to say that
    THE RUMOURS ARE TRUE!!!  THE RETURN OF VITO-MANIA TO THE WeWF!!
    Here he is...VITO GIANELLI!!!"

(Vito enters to thunderous applause overpowering Springsteen's "Born
 in the USA)

Vito: "Less than a year ago, I left the WeWF.  But I was always watching.
    But I didn't like what I was seeing.  That's why I'm back....
    to TAKE CARE OF BUSINESS.  And with all you fans, were going to take
    Vito-mania all the way to the top, brother."

JAY: "All right!  Vito Gianelli... back in the WeWF.  Let's get back to more of
    WeWF wrestling action.

Baboon: "Vito Gianelli is back!"

Wince: "I bet he can't wait to get his hands on The Four Corners again!"

Baboon: "That would be a wild confrontation, Wince, and speaking of
    wild..."

Mustang: "STAND BACK, DiMadMan, the Mustang has stampeeded into town and is
    about to kick your teeth in"

Wolf: "I can't wait to sink my teeth into you, Brown!  I'm the king of the
    predators!"

Mustang: "And the Wild 1's are gonna make our debut and show that we're the
    only 'wild' things in the WeWF!"

Baboon: "Wolf and Mustang are making waves in the WeWF!"

Wince: "They just got here, but here's someone who's been here since day
    one."

The Crusher: "Well well well... It seems like the Big Balloona has stalled
    in his career."

Simon Bolendorf: "And my man The Crusher is looking for his first title reign!"

The Crusher: "So what better place to start than by eliminating The Big
    Balloona..."

Wince: "I think they meant The Big Kahuna."

Baboon: "He made a suprise appearance at the Supercard, in a taped interview.
    He now has his valet, Val Lee, back from the clutches of Smooth and
    The Four Corners!"

Wince: "In the UFWS, The Four Corners have a partner The SandMan.  Let's
    hear from The Sandman (no relation)."

Sandman: "Steelgrave... at the supercard we should have met... and things could
    have been settled... but I get no challenge this week!  If you win,
    however... prepare to face me... because I WANT THAT BELT!  And I WILL
    get it..."

Wince: "He'll have to get in line for his title shot.  A lot of people want
    the WeWF World Title."

Baboon: "Here's the man who gets the title shot this week, but he's got
    something else on his mind."

Millionaire: "Plaid Powerhouse.  You think you can get to the
    top of the WeWF by taking me on.  Well, the time has come to
    show you who the real powerhouse of the WeWF is."

Wince: "What a match that would be!"

Baboon: "Indeed.  We got this tape in the mail last week, let's see what's
    on it."

[ROLL TAPE]

The scene is a crowded, darkened, club. The camera moves around, then heads
for the entrance. Standing there are two familiar figures, each holding a beer.

Bill: "Bill S Preston, esquire here."

Ted: "And Ted "Theodore" Logan!  Well, Bill my friend, here we are at The
    Carpark, in Wellington, New Zealand to see the most truly awesome Heavy
    Metal band,"

Both: "...Shihad!!!!" [air guitar]

Bill: "But, due to the delay in the WeWF, We'll be back in time for this weeks
    matches."

Ted: "Hey, dude, they're starting, dude!"

Bill and Ted rush in, followed by the camera.  They head for the stage.

Bill (shouting): "We'll be back in a minute, dudes!"

They join the mass of fans partying at the edge of the stage, and are seen to
stagedive at least twice each. When the song ends, the return to the foyer.
Bill is minus his t-shirt, and ted appears to have had a bucket of water
dumped over him.

Bill: "I said they were awesome dude! But thats not why we're here!  I just
    wanna say that the supercard was totally bogus, dudes!  The Law not even
    showing up when they had accepted our challenge!  We don't settle for
    second best, dudes!  And our "partners" going to get the Law without
    inviting us!"

Ted: "And how about those whingers on TWiW!  The inquisition!  Executioner, you
    left this federation of your own free will, dude, so don't you go
    demanding to return just because you made the wrong decision! You're
    out in the cold, dude, and I think you deserve to stay there!"

Bill: "And that goes for your partner Torquemada too, dude!"

They Both return to the crowd, and the camera fades out.

[End Tape]

Baboon: "How about that?  The Wyld Stallyons are raring to go, and they
    want to face The Inquisition!"

Wince: "Unfortunately, there's no space for The Inquisition in the WeWF
    at this time.  Maybe those two teams will wrestle at The Summit."

Baboon: "Green Jean Oktoberfest has a special interview for us this week.
    Take it away, Green Jean!"

GJO: "My guest at this time, in a special interview, is the Red Baron!"

[crowd boo and jeer]

GJO: "Ok Baron, what's the purpose of all this?"

Baron: "Jean, at the supercard, the B vas too strong for me.  He tauvt me an
    lesson all vright. He taught me that cheatink to vin ist no victory
    at ahl, und ven he made hiz announcement, ant ze crovd vere cheerink,
    I realized vat is missink vrom mein own career!  Zerefore, I vill be
    ze Red Baron no longer..."

[The Red Baron removes his goggles, helmet, and jacket to reveal a red and
 yellow bandana and a yellow t-shirt with the words Volk Rules! on it in red}

Baron: "Vrom now on, I vill be known as Volk Svagen, und vill do all I can to
    rid ze WeWF of evil!"

[crowd goes completely wild.  It takes about two minutes for them to quiet.]

GJO: "Well, good luck to you, Volk, and I'm sure all these new Volksters here
    wish you luck as well."

Baboon: "Talk about changing his colors!  The Red Baron is now Volk Svagen!"

Wince: "What a surprise!  But here's someone who changes his colors every
    day, The Chameleon!  I understand he'll be taking on Rustin Nose this
    week."

Chameleon: "I am going to CHANGE his mind about staying in the WeWF!"

Baboon: "I certainly hope so!  Good luck, Chameleon!"

Wince: "Let's go back to Crazy Eirik."

(Crazy Eirik Thorrson and Johnny Granite are in Granite's training room,
 reviewing a tape of Granite's Supercard match with Metal.)

Crazy Eirik: "See here where you irish whip him to the ropes, and he comes
    back with that flying clothesline?"

Granite: "Caught me by surprise, that's for sure.  That guy's a whole lot
    faster than we figured."

Crazy Eirik: "Hey, look at this!  He had you in a headlock, but it slipped
    into a choke, and he broke the hold himself!"

Granite: "What?  Nobody does that, other than me and Gentleman Jim Nice!"

Crazy Eirik: "Hmm.  This Metal is a better wrestler than I thought."

Granite: "And a better man than I thought.  If we ever meet in the ring
    again, I hope he's on my side!"

Wince: "How about that?  Johnny Granite has gained a lot of respect
    for Metal."

Baboon: "So have a lot of people.  Metal gets a shot at the TWIW TV
    Title this week!"

Mr. Roddy: "Everybody wants to be at the top of the WeWF rankings.  That's
    where the action and title shots are.  I'm no different, and Crusher, you
    are standing in my way.  Prepare to say goodbye to the WeWF."

Baboon: "Two ring veterans squaring off.  That's something I definitely
    want to see."

Wince: "You've got that right.  Mr. Roddy is a very dangerous customer, but
    so is The Crusher.  They might both be saying goodbye to the WeWF after
    that match!"

Baboon: "And these guys are just saying hello to the WeWF."

Fade-in: Three men are standing in a parking lot in front of one of the
new Caprice-style police cars. Two are large plug-uglies in gray and black
striped wrestling tights, while the third is a short stout man in a pin-stripe
suit, white snap-brim hat, and white-and-black pointed-toe spats.

Da Boss: "Me and Da Boyz here, see, we decided dat it was about time we
    got out of our old buisnesses and into da lucrative field of pro-
    wrestlin'.  But whadda we fin' when we gets here?  Some a da same problems
    whad we had in our last jobs, namely DA LAW.  So here is what we is gonna
    do ta yas, Lawmen."

(Guido and Nunzio produce sledge-hammers from off-screen and proceed to
demolish the Caprice.)

Da Boss: "And da same ting Da Boyz did ta this here Lawmobile is whad we
    iz gonna do to da Law, if they wants ta show up."

Guido: "You said it, Boss."

Nunzio: "Yeah!!"

(The three exit, stage right, to the playing of the Theme from the Godfather)

Baboon: "How about that?  Da Boyz are in town!"

Wince: "I think Da Boss will be someone to be reckoned with.  He's going
    to be another one of the great managers in the WeWF."

Baboon: "Well, here's one of the greats right now!"

Smooth: "Tom Brown, my men here have a few words for you.  Tell 'im Bjorn."

Bjorn: "Tom Brown, never before in my life have I ever been so insulted.  The
    fact that you even THINK you should be in the ring with me is one of
    the best jokes I've ever heard!  Not since Vito Gianelli has anyone
    been so DUMB!  But I'm a kind man, Brown, so I'll grant you your wish.
    Come the Thanksgiving Card I'm gonna kick your turkey-butt all over the
    ring mat.  Provided you make it there in one piece."

Plaid: "And as for your Tazer friend.  Well let's just say he's about to "blow
    a fuse".  We're cutting his electricty."

DiMadman: "And as for you high and mighty Trekkies.  You may be on top now, but
    the Four Corners are back and you're at the top of our hit list.  Better
    get your parachutes out boys, gonna your going for a BIG fall.  Woooo!"

Smooth: "That's right baby.  The Four Corners are gonna rock you to the ground!"

Baboon: "They've finally gotten fed up with Tom Brown's comments!  The
    Four Corners are undoubtedly the most dangerous men in wrestling today."

Wince: "Smooth will have to match wits with Dr. Down-Under.  With those
    two leading the fight, this contest could get very bloody, very fast."

Baboon: "Here's yet another talented new group entering the WeWF."

Professor: "Greetings and Salutations to Everyone.  I present to you all 'The
    Academy'.  Four men who are going to take everyone by surprise!"

Freak: "YAAARRGGHH!!!!!!!!!  I'm here and I'm here to stay!!!!!!!!  Watch
    your backs because I'll be coming when you least expect me!!
    YAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHH!!!!!!!!!"

The Masked Philosopher: "The great Frenchman Descartes once said 'I think
    therefore I am.'  I think I'm going to grab the belt therefore I am!
    Esteverta cigora!!!!!"

Quasar: "So this is the big league, this is where it all goes on.  Well, watch
    out because the Galactic Dudes are here and there phasers are set on
    kill!  Klingons!!!!!!!  We want you!!!!!"

Pulsar: "That's right you no-good son of a Romulan tag team!!!!!!  The universe
    has only enough room for ONE interstellar tag-team and that's the
    Galactic Dudes!"

Baboon: "The Galactic Dudes are out of this world!"

Wince: "It seems like a lot of people are gunning for The Klingons, and
    that's because they're the champions."

Baboon: "Let's go to further comments from The Sandman."

Sandman: "So, the next supercard is November 28th, a WeWF tradition.  For some
    reason, I feel that the WeWF tradition should include an elimination match.
    At this point, therefore, I wish to call for three partners, and four
    opponents to take part in this match.  I have no preferences as to the
    identities of these people - I will wrestle with anyone, against anyone.
    So take up my challenge... and see if you have what it takes to survive..."

Wince: "How about that?  A Supercard challenge!"

Baboon: "If you want to be in this elimination match, decide which team
    you want to be on, and e-mail to Doobie@st1.vuw.ac.nz ASAP!"

Wince: "Here are the results of the matches which took place this week:"

Johnny Granite over Freak.
Tom "The Animal" Brown over Johann "Great Dane" Svenson.
The Chameleon over The Natural, Rustin Nose.
Metal over "Crusher" Cootus.
The Big Kahuna over Plaid Powerhouse.
Mr. Roddy over The Crusher in a lights out match.
Metal and The Big Kahuna fought to a time limit draw.
The Grim Reaper over The Enigma.
DiMadMan over Mustang.
Wolf over Tom "The Animal" Brown.
The Big Kahuna over The Crusher.
The Sandman over The Millionaire.
BudMan over Tom "The Animal" Brown.
Lucifer over The Natural, Rustin Nose.
BudMan over Freak.
Tom "The Animal" Brown over Johnny Granite.
The Grim Reaper over The Masked Philosopher.
The Plaid Powerhouse over The Millionaire in a dog collar match.
Lucifer over Vito Gianelli.
DiMadman over Tom "The Animal" Brown.
Tom "The Animal" Brown over "Gentleman" Jim Gilette.
Bjorn "The Swedish Pretzel" over The Big Kahuna.

The Highlanders over The Klingons.
The Wild 1's over The Wyld Stallyons.
The Intoxicators over Apocalypse Now.
RnR over The Maniacs.
Team Supreme over The Groundbreakers.
The Intoxicators over RnR.
Devastation Inc. over The Wyld Stallions.
The Intoxicators over The Galactic Dudes.
The Law over The Wyld Stallyons.
The Intoxicators over The Klingons.
The Law over Da Boyz.

Baboon: "Now let's go to Lord Winfred Vague and Rusty Nose for highlights."

Vague: "After the match between The Millionaire and The Plaid Powerhouse,
    Mr. Roddy and his partner The Millionaire attacked The Powerhouse with
    chairs!"

Rusty: "During the match between The Klingons and The Highlanders,
    The Galactic Dudes and their manager The Professor showed up at
    ringside and observed."

Vague: "After Wolf beat Tom "The Animal" Brown, he was assaulted by
    a spectator.  The spectator pummeled Wolf, then revealed himself
    to be EMWA superstar Freddie "The Crusher" Fitness!  His manager
    Sir Walter Raleigh had this to say:"

"Now you see it! Freddie "The Crusher" Fitness has brought his
 svelt 390 pound frame to the WeWF, and he'll do to all comers
 what he just did to this poor slob...  The EMWA wasn't big
 enough for him, let's hope the WeWF IS!"

Rusty: "After the match between Mr. Roddy and The Crusher, Mr. Roddy
    threw a fireball into The Crusher's face!"

Wince: "Thanks for the highlights, guys.  Now it's time for the title
    matches of the week.  First off, the US Title match.  The General
    defends the belt against The Big Kahuna."

Baboon: "As usual, let's join the match in progress."

Vague: "The General hammers The Kahuna's arm again!  Irish whip to the
    ropes... and The General hiptosses The Kahuna!"

Rusty: "The champion isn't letting up... he drops a knee on T.B.'s arm."

Vague: "The General bounces off the ropes, but The Big Kahuna rolls away
    from the elbow drop attempt!  He gets back to his feet and headbutts
    The General!"

Rusty: "The Big Kahuna atomic drops The General and body slams him!  T.B.
    is going to the top rope!"

Vague: "He jumps off... double axehandle to The General's forehead!"

Rusty: "The Big Kahuna goes for a pin..."

Vague: "One, two, kickout!"

Rusty: "The Big Kahuna whips The General into the buckles and charges...
    but The General moves away!"

Vague: "The General body slams T.B!  Now he's going to the top rope...
    but The Big Kahuna throws him down!"

Rusty: "The Big Kahuna is going to the top rope!  He leaps off... flying
    body press!"

Vague: "But The General uses his momentum against him, and reverses the move!
    He's got The Big Kahuna pinned!  One, two, three!"

Baboon: "The General retains the US Title!  And now his proteges, The
    Hoosiers, have a shot at the Tag Team Titles, currently held by
    The Klingons."

Vague: "Erik and Klingon Disrupter are trading rights and lefts...  Erik
    gets in a good shot, and Disrupter goes down."

Rusty: "But he gets right back up!  Disrupter suplexes Erik, and tags out
    to Phaser!"

Vague: "Erik ducks a clothesline by Phaser and tags out to the Daemon!"

Rusty: "Daemon monkey flips Phaser!  And Daemon tries to follow up with an
    elbow drop, but Phaser rolls away and tags Disrupter back in."

Vague: "Disrupter whips Daemon off the ropes...  Daemon goes for a dropkick,
    but Klingon Disrupter ducks, and Daemon lands on his back!"

Rusty: "There's a pin by Disrupter... no, Erik makes the save!"

Vague: "And Disrupter makes the tag out to Phaser.  Phaser puts a headlock
    on Daemon, trying to wear him down, but Daemon pushes him off and tags
    to Erik!"

Rusty: "Erik bowls Phaser over with a clothesline!  Phaser gets back up,
    and Erik gives him a belly-to-belly suplex!"

Vague: "There's the tag by The Hoosiers, and now Erik is lifting Phaser up
    on his shoulders...  Daemon is going to the top rope..."

Rusty: "Admiral Chekov shakes the ropes!  Daemon falls into the ring, and
    I just heard the bell!"

Vague: "The Klingons have been disqualified!  Admiral Chekov's team keeps
    the belts, but they lose the match."

Baboon: "We've just received word that The Klingons challenger next week
    will be...  The Hoosiers!"

Wince: "Now it's time for our World Title match!  Steelgrave defends the
    belt against challenger The Millionaire."

Rusty: "Steelgrave is being accompanied to the ring by his manager, Caine.
    He's keeping a close eye on The Millionaire's manager, Keith Skar."

Vague: "The Millionaire is offering Steelgrave money to throw the match!
    Can you believe that, Rusty?"

Rusty: "Steelgrave presses The Millionaire over his head and drops him like
    a bad habit!  How's that for an answer?"

Vague: "The champion whips The Millionaire off the ropes and shoulderblocks
    him."

Rusty: "The Millionaire gets back up, and rams Steelgrave into the top
    turnbuckle!  No effect!"

Vague: "Now The Millionaire puts an arm bar on Steelgrave to try to wear
    him down... but it doesn't seem to be working!"

Rusty: "Steelgrave lifts The Millionaire up and gives him a backbreaker.
    He goes for the pin, but Keith Skar puts The Millionaire's foot on
    the ropes!"

Vague: "Steelgrave goes over and glares at Skar, but Skar seems to have
    tossed something into the ring."

Rusty: "It looks like a dreaded international object!  But Caine pulls it
    out of the ring before the Millionaire can get to it!  Steelgrave
    lifts The Millionaire up and gives him a power bomb!"

Vague: "One, two, three!  A successful title defense for Steelgrave!"

Baboon: "So Steelgrave retains the World Title!  Next week he faces
    The Sandman again!  Hopefully then we'll see a decisive outcome in
    a match between these two."

Wince: "And The General will be defending against Bjorn "The Swedish Pretzel",
    the man he took the belt from!"

Baboon: "As we mentioned before, The Klingons will be defending the WeWF
    Tag Team Titles against The Hoosiers in a rematch!"

Wince: "Don't forget the November Supercard!  It's just 18 days away!
    Start making your challenges now!  And don't forget about the
    elimination match that will be taking place there."

Baboon: "Also, it's never too early to start making plans for the Summit
    of E-Wrestling."

Wince: "We'll see you next week, everybody!"

WeWF Wrestler Rankings

World Champion: Steelgrave (7-1)                          63
US Champion: The General (7-2)                            69

Tag Team Champions: The Klingons (7-5)                    36

Individuals

1. The Sandman (6-1)                                     53
 2. Bjorn "The Swedish Pretzel" (5-2)                     43
 3. The Big Kahuna (6-5-1)                                37
 4. Mr. Roddy (5-3)                                       31
 5. Metal (3-1-2)                                         29
 6. The Grim Reaper (5-2)                                 26
 7. The Plaid Powerhouse (5-3)                            23
 8. The Millionaire (5-6)                                 23
 9. BudMan (3-0)                                          24
10. DiMadMan (3-0)                                        24
11. Johnny Granite (3-2-1)                                14
12. Lucifer (2-0)                                         19
13. The Crusher (4-5)                                     12
14. The Chameleon (1-0)                                    9
15. Wolf (1-0)                                             8
16. Freddie "The Crusher" Fitness (0-0)                    3
17. "Gentleman" Jim Nice (0-0)                             3
18. Volk Svagen (2-3)                                      3
19. Black Tiger (0-0)                                      0
20. Juggernaut (0-0)                                       0
21. Tom "The Animal" Brown (4-5)                          -2
22. "Crusher" Cootus (0-1)                                -3
23. Vito Gianelli (0-1)                                   -4
24. "Gentleman" Jim Gilette (0-1)                         -5
25. The Masked Philosopher (0-1)                          -5
26. The Enigma (0-1)                                      -6
27. Mustang (0-1)                                         -7
28. Johann "Great Dane" Svenson (1-2)                    -13
29. Freak (0-2)                                          -13
30. The Natural, Rustin Nose (1-7)                       -35
31. The Terminator (0-7)                                 -40

Tag Teams

1. The Hoosiers (7-4)                                    62
 2. The Maniacs (7-3)                                     58
 3. Intoxicators (5-0)                                    40
 4. The Highlanders (5-1)                                 34
 5. The Law (5-1)                                         29
 6. Team Supreme (6-3)                                    14
 7. Devastation, Inc. (1-0)                               11
 8. The Wild 1's (1-0)                                    10
 9. RnR (4-4)                                              7
10. The Dynamic Machine (0-0)                              0
11. Da Boyz (0-1)                                         -5
12. The Galactic Dudes (0-1)                              -5
13. Apocalypse Now (2-6)                                 -15
14. The Wyld Stallyons (3-9)                             -20
15. Groundbreakers (0-3)                                 -24