Summit of E-Wrestling Day 3

From: supermeo@cs.mcgill.ca (Francois LARAMEE)

Date: Sun, 29 Dec 1991 18:05:16 +0000

The Summit of E-Wrestling Day 3
--- ------ -- ----------- --- -

Lord Winfred: "Good evening once again, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome
  to the Rosemont Horizon for the very first Von Erich/Freebird Memorial
  six-man tag-team tournament! Fourteen trios of the best e-wrestlers on
  the net today will go at it for this prestigious award in a few minutes,
  but first, two interfederation matches, including a manager vs manager
  contest, and an appearance by the Royal Rumbler himself, Klingon Phaser!
  Let's go to ringside, where Baboon Tempest is standing by with Jimmy
  Vendetta and Wince McLady!"

*********************************************************************

Baboon: "Hello everyone, this is Baboon Tempest welcoming you to another
  brilliant night of e-wrestling! In just a few minutes, former WeWF tag-team
  champions, The Klingons, will face one of the most promising tag-teams in the
  UeWF, THe Dangerous Emotions, but before that... Admiral Chekov will return
  to active duty and enter the squared circle against Simon Bolendorf!"

Wince: "What a surprise, two managers are going to wrestle!"

Jimmy: "Chekov is making a big mistake getting in that ring!  Bolendorf
    will rip him to shreds."

Baboon: "Well, Simon Bolendorf has wrestled before, not that he did very
    well."

Wince: "Speaking of Simon, here is what he had to say:"

*************************************************************************

Simon Bolendorf:  "Well well well, Mr. Chekov... your Klingon filth was
	a big woman when she powed me in the head at the Rough Rumble...
	Now you'll see what it's like to get beaten by the craziest
	manager in wrestling..."

Baboon: "Here comes Simon now!"

Jimmy: "And he's got 700 pounds of insurance, and I'm not talking about
    British money!  That's The Crusher and both Maniacs with him."

Baboon: "I hope they don't get involved.  And here comes Admiral Chekov,
    with Also Sprach Zarathrustra blaring!  And he's got The Black Widow and
    The Klingons!"

Wince: "And listen to the fans, they're cheering wildly!"

Jimmy: "Thank you!  Thank you!"

Baboon: "Sit down, Vendetta.  The two managers are circling warily, and
    Bolendorf slaps Chekov in the face!"

Wince: "Chekov slaps Simon back, then monkey flips him!  And The Black Widow
    applauds the move!"

Jimmy: "Yeah, but Bolendorf clotheslines Chekov, getting applause from
    his people."

Baboon: "Admiral Chekov gets up and wrestles Simon down, then puts a headlock
    on him."

Wince: "No good, Simon Bolendorf powers loose and slams the Admiral!"

Jimmy: "Yeah!  Do it again!"

Baboon: "I guess he can't hear you, Jimmy, he tries for a pin!"

Wince: "But Admiral Chekov kicks out."

Baboon: "Chekov bounces off the ropes, but a Maniac trips him!  Chekov stops
    to shout at the masked man, and Simon Bolendorf sneaks up behind him."

Wince: "Reverse thrust kick by Chekov!  And he's going to the top rope!"

Jimmy: "What a mistake!  He doesn't have the agility.  See, he just fell off."

Baboon: "That's because The Crusher shook the ropes, Jimmy."

Wince: "Simon Bolendorf whips Admiral Chekov off the ropes and clotheslines him
    out of the ring!  But Chekov lands on the apron and pulls Simon out with
    him!"

Jimmy: "Of course Chekov takes it to the floor!  He's a no-good gutter rat,
    so that's how he's going to wrestle!"

Baboon: "Now the wrestlers are getting involved!"

Wince: "Oh my!  This is out of hand!  And I believe the referee has counted out
    both men!"

Baboon: "A double count-out!  It took a lot of referees to stop that melee."

The Klingons vs. The Dangerous Emotions

Baboon: "Two accomplished E-Wrestling tag teams set to square off, The
    Klingons and The Dangerous Emotions."

Jimmy: "These teams are from the WeWF and UEWF respectively, so if it weren't
    for The Klingons being Chekov's slave dogs, I wouldn't pay any attention!"

Wince: "I certainly would, and so would all these fans!  Already in the ring
    are The Dangerous Emotions: Rage and Hate."

Baboon: "And now, let's go to Green Jean Oktoberfest, standing by with the
  Admiral and his men."

*********************************************************************

Green Jean: "Thank you Baboon. Admiral, nothing was resolved in your match
  against Simon Bolendorf."

Chekov: "Indeed not! This grudge began when my Klingons right here took the
  WeWF tag-team titles away from the Maniacs, and it hasn't settled since!
  Well, mister Bolendorf, you couldn't beat me tonight, and you never will!"

Green Jean: "And how aboutthe Klingons' opponents, the Dangerous Emotions?"

Chekov: "We know very little about these guys, but Lanny told me that they
  were the team to beat in the UeWF, so they must be something special. We
  expect a good fight from them. But then again, Phaser beat 39 other men
  just yesterday, so THEY can expect even MORE of a fight!"

Green Jean: "Thanks, Admiral; back to you Baboon."

Baboon: "And here come Admiral Chekov and his Klingons: Phaser and Disrupter.
    They're getting a lot more cheers than their opposition did!"

Wince: "Rage starts the match by raging on Phaser with a series of shots to
    the head!  He whips Phaser off the ropes, but Phaser dropkicks him!"

Jimmy: "I'll give The Klingons credit, they know how to wrestle."

Wince: "Rage tags to Hate, but Phaser doesn't see it and bounces Rage off the
    ropes...  Hate trips Phaser, and Rage drops a knee!"

Baboon: "Now Hate goes for a pin, but he only gets a one count."

Wince: "Phaser gives Hate a knee breaker and tags to Disrupter!  The big man
    tackles Hate, and gives Rage a forearm for trying to intervene!"

Jimmy: "Don't give me that, McLady, Rage was minding his own business and
    Disrupter popped him one.  What poor sports."

Baboon: "Maybe you need binoculars, Jimmy.  Disrupter presses Hate and throws
    him across the ring!  That'll give you a negative attitude!"

Wince: "Disrupter tags to Phaser, and they set Hate up for a double suplex...
    no, he bangs their heads together!"

Baboon: "And Hate tags to Rage!  Rage clotheslines Disrupter over the top
    rope, and slams Phaser!"

Wince: "He goes for an elbow drop, but Phaser rolls away!"

Jimmy: "That was just luck, not any skill on Phaser's part."

Wince: "Rage gouges Phaser's eyes, then slams him into The Dangerous Emotions'
    corner turnbuckle."

Baboon: "Hate tags in, and both emotions are pounding on Phaser."

Wince: "They whip him off the ropes and deliver a double clothesline!  Now
    Hate tags Rage back in, and slingshots him into the ring onto Phaser!
    What a move!"

Baboon: "And Rage is covering Phaser!  One, two, kickout!"

Jimmy: "Slow count.  Look at Chekov, he's going crazy shouting to Phaser to get
    up and tag out!"

Wince: "Phaser does make the tag, but Rage charges at Disrupter before he can
    even get in the ring!"

Baboon: "But Klingon Disrupter pulls the top rope down, and Rage falls out to
    the floor!"

Wince: "Disrupter pulls Rage back in and slams him... and Disrupter tags to
    Phaser, and they're both going to the top rope!"

Baboon: "Double flying headbutt!  The Klinshai Bombing!  Phaser covers Rage!
    One, two, three!"

Wince: "The Klingons win the match!  The former WeWF Tag Team Champions looked
    to be in good form, but The Dangerous Emotions are an up and coming tag
    team."
***************************************************************************

The Freebirds - Von Erich Memorial Six-Man Tournament

Round 1

Wince: "And now it's time for the Freebirds - Von Erich Memorial Six Man
    Tag Team Tournament!"

Baboon: "Let's quickly run down what's going to happen in the first round.
    The top two teams, The PainMasters and Big Red, get byes.  The other
    12 teams will go at it fast and furious, however."

Wince: "The first round is Lost Destiny vs. The Armed Forces; Johann Svenson
    and The Shield Brothers vs. The Big Three; and TnT Enterprises vs. Ordered
    Chaos."

Baboon: "And in the other bracket of the first round: The Romulan Mauler, The
    Black Widow, and The Ultimate Lanny vs. Pillage; The Antipodean Avengers
    vs. Da Boyz and Public Enemy; and The Stormbringers vs. The Emotions."

Wince: "Let's go to the action!"

Lost Destiny vs. The Armed Forces

Baboon: "Let's hear from The Armed Forces."

Commander-in-chief: "ATTEND-HUTT!!!  Since we are such nice guys and good
    samaritans we are going to help a Lost Destiny find a cause.  The cause
    is DOOM.  Tellem Crush."

Coporal Crush: "Yeah, Lost Destiny, we have heard a lot about you and waited
    to face someone that can be considered decent competition.  But as all other
    you shall fall to the hands of the Armed Forces."

Admiral Ax: "PainMasters, you're next, I don't know who you paid off for
    your first round bye but trust me, you'll need the rest cause we take no
    PRISONERS!!!!"

Sergeant Smash: "CLASS DIS-MISSED!!!"

Wince: "All right, The Armed Forces from the UEWF vs. The SandMan and The
    Unknown of the UFWS."

Jimmy: "I don't know who The Unknown are, but I know they can beat Ax, Smash,
    and Crush."

Baboon: "The Armed Forces don't get much of a response from the crowd, but
    Lost Destiny are cleary disliked."

Wince: "Admiral Ax and Unknown 1 will start the match off.  They circle, and
    Unknown 1 takes down Ax, but Ax then kicks him in the face!"

Baboon: "Admiral Ax is back on his feet, and he axehandles Unknown 1, then
    powers him back to The Armed Forces' corner where Smash and Crush take
    cheap shots."

Jimmy: "Hey, I like this team's style!"

Wince: "Ax tags to Sergeant Smash, who goes for a clothesline but misses!
    Unknown 1 punches him in the gut, then tags to The SandMan!"

Baboon: "The SandMan bounces Smash off the ropes and back body drops him from
    way up in the air!  The SandMan reaches for Smash's legs and puts him
    in a figure four!  But Corporal Crush stomps The SandMan."

Jimmy: "That's a way to break the figure four!"

Wince: "The SandMan gets up and rakes Crush's face, then bangs him headfirst
    into the top turnbuckle and tags out to Unknown 2."

Baboon: "Unknown 2 winds up Crush's arm, and pounds on it, then tries to tag
    back to Unknown 1, but Crush pulls him away from their corner!  Body slam
    by Corporal Crush!"

Wince: "Sergeant Smash is tagged in, and he chokes Unknown 2 and throws him out
    of the ring!"

Jimmy: "But look how quickly the masked man gets back in!  And he seems fresh!
    Unknown 2 is pounding on all of The Armed Forces!"

Wince: "That must be #1, Jimmy, not #2!  Admiral Ax blocks a punch, then
    headbutts him!"

Baboon: "Sergeant Smash holds the masked man for Corporal Crush, who delivers
    a thunderous right hand!"

Wince: "But The SandMan rushes in and breaks up the triple team!  The Unknown
    switch places again, unknown, if you will, to the referee."

Babooon: "Just as Unknown 1 is getting back in, Crush and Ax clothesline him
    over the top rope!  Smash is fighting The SandMan, and Unknown 1 is getting
    counted out!"

Jimmy: "... six, seven, no get back in!  Eight, nine, ten!  Lost Destiny loses
    by countout, and The Armed Forces advance to round 2, where they will
    face The PainMasters."

Johann Svenson and The Shield Brothers vs. The Big Three

Johann: "You ever here of karma?  Fate?  Kismet?  It all boils down to one
    simple rule: what goes around, comes around!  Cochons, Touchdown, you
    slimeballs jumped a couple of buddies of mine.  For a month now I've been
    trying to figure out how to get you in a ring, to maybe start towards
    earning a little vengeance for what you did towards Death and Destruction.
    And now, the tournament organizers have set us up against each other in the
    very first round!  It must be fate - and it's long past time for a whole
    lot of stuff to come around on top of your head, Touchdown!  Your fate is
    to leave this match with more broken bones than you've ever had before!"

Jake: "Cochon brothers, you've got to be the worst scum ever to ooze into
    the ring.  You've disgraced the memories of all the great Canadian e-
    wrestlers.  And you were dumb enough to to pearl harbour a couple of
    friends of mine.  We don't really care that you're the UFWS tag champs -
    this isn't about titles.  It's about paybacks, boys, and this is where
    we pay you back for a whole lot of grief and suffering you've caused!"

Ric: "So maybe you two oughta high-tail it back under what ever rock you
    call home, because once you climb into that ring, there's no escaping the
    Shield brothers, and especially no escaping this Tower!"

Johann: "And what are YOU gonna do when the Shield Brothers and the Great
    Dane turn the Big Three into the Broken Six?!"

Wince: "All right, you heard from Svenson and The Shields, they'll be facing
    the three men already in the ring: Mr. Touchdown and The Cochons of the
    UFWS."

Baboon: "Touchdown and The Cochons are very good, but Johann Svenson is one
    of the best brawlers in E-Wrestling, and Jake Shield has wrestled just
    about everywhere!"

Jimmy: "But what about Ric "Tower" Shield?  He's the weak link!"

Baboon: "Let's go to our ring announcer, Coward Pickle."

Coward: <Ride of the Valkyries comes on> "Hailing from Copenhagen, Denmark,
    and weighing in at 363 pounds, Johann "Great Dane" Svenson!  And his
    partners, hailing from Russell, Ontario, Canada, weighing in at 244 pounds,
    Jake "Canadian" Shield!  And also from Russell, weighing in at 278 pounds,
    Ric "Tower" Shield!"

Wince: "All right, The Shield Brothers and Johann Svenson making their way
    to the ring, and the crowd is yelling so loud I can't hear myself think!"

Jimmy: "And Jake Shield gives his RCMP stetson to a kid at ringside.  How
    wonderful.  I think I'm going to puke."

Baboon: "Ric Shield is starting it off against Mr. Touchdown, and Touchdown
    wants a test of strength!"

Wince: "The two lock up, and Touchdown has the advantage... he's using his
    possibly chemically-enhanced body to his advantage and powering Shield down
    to his knees!"

Jimmy: "But Shield is too stupid to know he's beaten!  He powers back up and
    breaks free!"

Baboon: "Touchdown puts him back down with a cheapshot, then pulls him by
    his hair into The Big Three's corner.  Maurice Cochon tags in and
    clotheslines Ric!"

Wince: "But Ric is back on his feet in a second!  Maurice doesn't realize it,
    and he has his back turned on Ric!  Ric picks him up and gives him a big
    atomic drop!"

Baboon: "Paul Cochon slips in quickly and hammers Ric in the back!  Maurice
    recovers and shoves Ric into a neutral corner!  Maurice charges, but
    Ric steps out of the way and tags to Johann!"

Wince: "Johann Svenson chops Maurice Cochon and whips him off the ropes into
    a bear hug!"

Baboon: "Look at Maurice flailing around!  He makes a lucky tag to Touchdown,
    who steps into the ring."

Wince: "Johann was waiting, and he hip tosses Touchdown across the ring!
    Mr. Touchdown ducks a charging Great Dane and nails him with a jab."

Jimmy: "Svenson tags out to Jake Shield, who jumps off the top rope with a
    flying clothesline!  He rolls Mr. Touchdown up, but Touchdown kicks
    free."

Baboon: "Objective commentary, Jimmy?  I'm shocked!  Anyway, Jake is using
    his technical skills to wear down Mr. Touchdown."

Wince: "Uh-oh, spinebuster by Mr. Touchdown!  And he tags to to Paul Cochon
    to get some rest."

Baboon: "Paul suplexes Jake Shield... no, Jake blocks it and reverses it!
    Jake carries Paul Cochon to the corner and is going for a superplex!"

Jimmy: "It's too early for that move!  Look, Jake stumbled out of the corner,
    and Paul Cochon flying bodypresses him from the top rope!"

Wince: "He didn't stumble, Mr. Touchdown tripped him up!"

Baboon: "Paul Cochon goes for the pin!  One, two, kickout!  Jake tags back
    to Johann, who slaps The Hammerlock of Thor on Paul!"

Wince: "But Paul kicks off the top turnbuckle and falls back onto Johann!"

Jimmy: "That wasn't too smart, Paul just about wrenched his own arm off!"

Baboon: "Paul Cochon again tries for a pin!  One, two, three!  Maurice Cochon
    was helping him hold The Great Dane down!"

Jimmy: "The ref didn't see it, so it didn't happen.  Quit your whining,
    Tempest."

Wince: "The Shield Brothers are complaining to the referee, and The Cochons
    are shouting back at them!  The Shields can't take it anymore!  They
    jump The Cochons!"

Baboon: "And The Cochons and Mr. Touchdown are running away!  That chair
    Johann grabbed might have something to do with it."

Wince: "On to our next match."

Ordered Chaos vs. TnT Enterprises

Sunn Mooner: "I'm standing here with the members of TNT Enterprises. Gentle-
    men, tonight, you will face the Order of Chaos, T'ien "The Master" Lung and
    the Beast Brothers.  How do you think you will fare against them tonight,
    Cannonball Calhoun?"

Cannonball Calhoun: "Well, Sunn, we know them from the UeWF, so we aren't
    totally unfamiliar with them.  Therefore, we may have a bit of an advantage
    over the other teams, as we are fighting people we know.  Now, whether or
    not this match will be a good one for TNT remains to be seen, but we are
    at our peak physical condition at this point, and we will not go down easy!
    Tell 'em Powerhouse!"

Powerhouse Pruitt: "You wanna talk about the heat of the competition?  We got
    it right here!  Cannonball Calhoun, a future UFWS World Champ.  Brimstone
    Baxter, a future UeWF champ if all goes well this week.  Me, one of the
    strongest men in all of E-Wrestling.  It won't be our shoulders that get
    pinned tonight!"

Brimstone Baxter: "T'ien Lung, we've both been trained in Japan for our
    scientific background.  So, that means we will be evenly matched.  As for
    the Beast Brothers: Well, I've never fought them, but I'm sure my
    technique can take care of them!"

Ace Diamond: "TNT came into this Summit with nothing more than reknown.  We
    will leave with more than that. I guarantee that we will leave with the
    UeWF World Title, the Slick Ric Trophy, the Von Erich Cup, and the purse
    money from the Royal Rumble.  Bank on it folks!"

Wince: "OK, you just heard from TnT Enterprises, and they'll be facing Ordered
    Chaos: The Beast Brothers and T'ien "The Master" Lung."

Baboon: "The winner of this match will move on to face TnT Enterprises in the
    second round."

Wince: "TnT are already in the ring, and here come T'ien "The Master" Lung
    and The Beast Brothers, Wolverine and Cougar!"

Baboon: "They're getting a lot of applause for such a young team.  And it looks
    like they're sending Cougar into the ring to start, and Brimstone Baxter
    will oppose him."

Jimmy: "Cougar smells like a wild animal, too bad he can't wrestle like one."

Wince: "Baxter twists Cougar's arm, and Cougar tries to reverse it, but Baxter
    is too quick for that."

Baboon: "Brimstone Baxter does a quick take down, and switches to a reverse
    chinlock.  But Cougar powers back to his feet and tags out!"

Wince: "T'ien Lung and Baxter are squaring off, and Lung tries to sweep
    Baxter's legs, but Baxter jumps over him!"

Jimmy: "Too bad he didn't see Lung's other foot coming around to take the pins
    out from under him on the follow through!  Brimstone goes down!"

Wince: "Lung tries to pounce, but Baxter rolls back to his feet!  The Master
    attempts an arm drag, but Baxter rolls with it and arm drags Lung!"

Baboon: "Baxter pulls T'ien Lung to his corner and tags to Cannonball Calhoun!"

Wince: "And Calhoun clotheslines Lung!  Cannonball splashes Lung... no, Lung
    got his knees up!"

Baboon: "Master Lung whips Calhoun to the buckles.  And Calhoun rebounds and
    shoulderblocks Lung into next week!  A slam by Calhoun!  And a bulldog!"

Jimmy: "Lung doesn't look like much of a master right now!"

Baboon: "Ace Diamond wants to keep the fresh man in the ring, so Calhoun tags
    back out to Baxter."

Wince: "Brimstone Baxter belly-to-belly suplexes Lung!  But Lung lunges and
    tags to Wolverine!"

Baboon: "Wolverine forearms Baxter, then bounces off the ropes and clotheslines
    him!  And now Wolverine has slapped on a step-over toe hold!"

Jimmy: "I can't believe Baxter still hasn't given up, this is more guts than
    he's ever shown in the UFWS!"

Wince: "If you think that's something, Jimmy, look at this!  Brimstone Baxter
    wriggles loose and tags to Powerhouse Pruitt!"

Baboon: "Here comes the big man!  Running elbow smash!  And he presses Wolverine
    over his head and drops him!"

Wince: "Wolverine gets up and kicks Pruitt, then tries to bash him into the
    buckles, but Pruitt puts on the breaks and throws Wolverine down!  Pruitt
    goes to the second rope and drops an elbow!"

Baboon: "One, two, three!  TnT Enterprises get the duke!"

The Romulan Mauler, The Black Widow, and The Ultimate Lanny vs. Pillage

Wince: "We're finished with the first round of the first bracket.  In the
    second round it will be The PainMasters vs. The Armed Forces and
    TnT Enterprises vs. The Big Three."

Baboon: "But right now, The Ultimate Trekkies, who've wrestled just about
    everywhere, are going to face off against the UEWF's Pillage!  Let's
    hear from Lord Plunder and his teammates."

Lord Plunder: "Again, they force a natural aristocrat such as myself to go
    through the motions of a tournament before awarding me the gold I so
    rightfully deserve... how dreary!  And the opposition is provided by
    three alledged wrestlers who are positively out of touch with reality!"

Crash: "Yeah, I hear these trekkies have won themselves a mess of tag team
    titles over in the UFWS.  But hey, we've crunched Lanny the Loser and his
    gimpy brother before, and it'll be a pleasure doing it again!"

Burn: "And this Widow geek is older than the green stuff in Crash's fridge.
    We'll give you a senior citizen's discount, geezer - we'll pin you in the
    first two minutes, so you don't have to wheeze through a whole match!"

Lord Plunder: "In-DEED!  Romulan Mauler, any wrestler who prefers to leave
    his opponents broken and bleeding outside the ring must earn grudging
    respect from Lord Plunder - and as a token of that respect, I promise to
    leave you broken and bleeding outside the ring after our match!  I believe
    it is time, as you boys say, for a little Carnage..."

Crash: "And always remember, Lord Plunder..."

Burn: "There's no such thing as a LITTLE Carnage!"

Baboon: "Beaming down to the ring, The Ultimate Lanny, The Romulan Mauler,
    and The Black Widow, accompanied by their manager Admiral Chekov and
    Lanny's brother The Approximate Manny!"

Jimmy: "Wasn't one Horowitz bad enough?"

Wince: "Let's go to Coward Pickle."

Coward: "... and their opponents <Crowd boos as Rule Brittania comes on>...
    weighing in at 248 pounds and hailing from Castle Plunder, Lord Plunder!
    And his partners, hailing from Highway 61, at a total combined weight of
    514 pounds, Crash and Burn: Carnage!"

Baboon: "Carnage jump The Black Widow before the bell, and Lord Plunder is
    making obscene gestures to the fans!"

Wince: "The Black Widow is fighting back well, though, and he flips Burn, and
    The Romulan Mauler and Lanny chase Crush out of the ring!"

Baboon: "The Pillage team stops to regroup, as do the Trekkies.  They certainly
    have the weight advantage with those two musclemen Mauler and Lanny."

Wince: "And they're going to take advantage of that by putting The Mauler in
    there.  Pillage counter by sending in Burn."

Baboon: "Burn rakes The Mauler's face and dropkicks him, but The Mauler is still
    on his feet!  Burn goes to the top rope and tries for a flying body press,
    but The Romulan Mauler catches him and drops him across his knee!
    Backbreaker!"

Wince: "The Romulan Mauler tags to The Ultimate Lanny, who rages around the
    ring and tries to clothesline Burn, but gets an uppercut instead!  Burn
    bounces off the ropes and collides with Lanny!  I think he meant to do
    that!"

Jimmy: "What a crazy guy!  But at least he put Lanny down, and Crash, who just
    tagged in, will make sure he stays that way."

Baboon: "Crash stomps on Lanny's face, then picks him up and slams him!"

Wince: "And Crash whips Lanny into the turnbuckles and avalanches him!  But
    one good push by Lanny knocks Crash head over heels!"

Baboon: "The Ultimate Lanny tags to The Black Widow, who snap kicks Crash, then
    elbows him in the head!"

Wince: "But Crash counters with a face rake, and slams The Widow to the mat by
    his hair!  And Crash legdrops The Black Widow!"

Baboon: "Crash tags to Burn, then presses The Black Widow over his head and
    DROPS HIM OUT OF THE RING!  Express elevator drop fifteen feet down!"

Jimmy: "And now Burn is going to dive onto The Black Widow!  I heard this team
    did crazy stuff, but this is ridiculous!"

Wince: "Wham!  Burn dives headfirst onto The Widow!  If he had missed, it would
    be all over!  The Black Widow may have a collapsed sternum after that,
    and Burn doesn't look too hot himself!"

Baboon: "Burn rolls The Black Widow back into the ring, and tags to Lord
    Plunder!"

Jimmy: "The Black Widow's career may be over!  Too bad I wasn't the one who
    did it.  Look at him gasping for breath!"

Wince: "Lord Plunder applies a series of wear down holds, then hoists The Widow
    onto his back for a fireman's carry."

Baboon: "But The Black Widow rolls back and crucifixes Lord Plunder!  He could
    get the pin!  One, two, three!"

Wince: "Never try to match holds with The Black Widow, and Lord Plunder learned
    that the hard way."

Baboon: "The Ultimate Trekkies advance to the next round."

The Antipodean Avengers vs. Da Boyz and Public Enemy

Wince: "The Antipodean Avengers are one of the only two teams in this
    tournament to have any one them who has one a six-man title.  Of course
    I mean Mr. B."

Jimmy: "Ha, but The ANZAC and Action Man haven't one a six-man title, so they
    won't get much of an advantage."

Baboon: "They will be facing Da Boyz, Guido and Nunzio of the WeWF, and Public
    Enemy of the UEWF."

Wince: "Here come Da Boyz and Public Enemy now, and also with then Da Boss."

Baboon: "Three very devious individuals.  But here come their opponents,
    The Antipodean Avengers, and listen to the crowd cheer!"

Wince: "Action Man sets up to square off against Nunzio, and he quickly
    snapmares Nunzio over his shoulder then stomps on his face once!"

Baboon: "Action Man twists Nunzio's right arm, but Nunzio kicks Action Man
    and tags to Guido!  Da Boyz both clothesline Action Man!"

Jimmy: "They're showing how well they work as a team, Tempest."

Wince: "Guido chokes Action Man on the ropes, then tags back to Nunzio!  Nunzio
    holds Action Man for a punch from Guido, but Action Man ducks!  Guido
    slugs Nunzio!"

Baboon: "And in the confusion Action Man tags to Mr. B!"

Wince: "Mr. B dropkicks Nunzio out of the ring!  He slingshot suplexes
    Guido!  Irish whip by Mr. B, and hey!  Public Enemy reached into the ring
    and hit Mr. B!"

Baboon: "Guido clotheslines Mr. B!  And just as he tags to Public Enemy,
    Mr. B rolls him up!"

Jimmy: "What a plan by Guido!  While Mr. B is distracted by him, Public Enemy
    goes to the top rope and drops a fist on Mr. B!"

Baboon: "Public Enemy whips Mr. B off the ropes, and Mr. B puts him down with
    a cross body block!  One count and a kickout!"

Wince: "Mr. B punches Public Enemy and tags to The ANZAC!"

Baboon: "The ANZAC axehandles Public Enemy, but Public Enemy reaches down
    and pulls The ANZAC's legs out from under him, then puts him in a Boston
    crab!  And The ANZAC submits!"

Wince: "So Public Enemy and Da Boyz advance to the next round to face
    The Romulan Mauler, The Ultimate Lanny, and The Black Widow!"

The Stormbringers vs. The Emotions

Baboon: "Let's hear from Angus "The Claymore" Campbell!"

Angus: "Ye dinnae win a belt like this wi'oot learnin' certain things.
    One o' those things is that there'll always be some wrestlers so bereft
    o' skill they feel compelled tae cheat an' brutalize opponents.  Emotions,
    ye are three such wrestlers.  I've dealt wi' yuir kind before, on th'
    road tae winnin' this belt, an' it appears that I'll have tae deal wi'
    ye on th' road tae the Freebirds/Von Erich trophy.  Maybe ye think that
    cheatin' an' thuggery'll get ye past th' Stormbringers - but I ken ye're
    dead wrong!  When this match is over, ye'll be blown away by th' Storm-
    bringers - aye, an' cut down by th' Claymore!"

Jimmy: "All this time in America and he still has that accent?  Just watch
    The Emotions pound it out of him."

Wince: "I don't think that's very likely.  The Emotions are already in the
    ring, and Rage, Hate, and Despair seem a little nervous.  And here
    come The Stormbringers, Randy Hurricane and Billy Thunder!"

Coward: "...and their partner <Scotland the Brave starts up, huge cheers from
 the crowd> weighing in at 228 pounds and hailing from Strathclyde, Scotland,
 here is the current UFWS world heavyweight champion, Angus "The Claymore"
 Campbell!"

Baboon: "The crowd is on it's feet cheering for The Claymore as he runs to the
    ring!"

Wince: "Hate and Billy Thunder will square off.  Thunder grabs Hate's arm and
    twists it, but Hate clotheslines him with his free arm, then gives Thunder
    a side suplex!"

Baboon: "Hate tags to Rage, who walks on Thunder, then chokes him!  Rage lifts
    Thunder on his shoulder for a body slam, but Billy Thunder slips over
    Rage's back and atomic drops him!"

Wince: "Billy Thunder tags to Randy Hurricane, who punches Rage, then drops a
    leg on him!  Hurricane picks Rage up and gives him a neckbreaker!"

Baboon: "Rage gives Hurricane a knee to the race, then drags him face first
    along the top rope!"

Jimmy: "What a dastardly move!  I love it!  Encore, encore!  Now Despair tags
    in to pound on that no good turncoat."

Wince: "Despair puts a armlock on Hurricane, but Hurricane uses the ropes
    to flip himself over and break the hold!"

Baboon: "Randy Hurricane bounces Despair off the ropes and back body drops him!
    And Hurricane tags to The Claymore!"

Wince: "Angus Campbell gives Despair a knee breaker!  Despair retaliates by
    pulling Campbell's hair!"

Baboon: "Despair tries to tag out to Rage, but The Claymore pulls him back,
    and puts him in an airplane spin!  Angus tags back to Billy Thunder,
    who gives Despair a belly to back suplex!"

Jimmy: "I didn't see a tag!  The Stormbringers are cheating as usual!"

Wince: "Despair makes a desperate tag to Hate, who charges Thunder... and
    Thunder powerslams him!  One, two, kickout!"

Baboon: "Hate punches Thunder, and shoves him face first to the mat!  And
    Hate delivers a gourdbuster!"

Wince: "Hate tags out to Rage, but Thunder tags to Hurricane!  Hurricane
    scoops Rage, and slams him, then tags to The Claymore!"

Jimmy: "Rage is after Hurricane, and he walks right into a FrankenClaymore!
    That move will put away anybody but me!"

Wince: "Campbell covers!  One, two, three!"

Baboon: "The Stormbringers win, and advance to the second round to face Big
    Red!"

Round Two

Wince: "OK, it's time for the second round!  We have narrowed it down to just
    eight teams.  The PainMasters and Big Red had byes in the first round, but
    nobody gets a bye this time."

Baboon: "The PainMasters, ranked number one going into this tournament, will
    face The Armed Forces, TnT Enterprises will square off against The Big
    Three, The Ultimate Trekkies tangle with Da Boyz and Public Enemy, and
    Big Red face The Stormbringers!"

Wince: "Let's go down to ringside!"

The PainMasters vs. The Armed Forces

Baboon: "The PainMasters are former EMWA six-man tag team champions, but they
    will have to contend with The Armed Forces, who surprised a lot of
    people with their victory over Lost Destiny earlier."

Wince: "And here come The Armed Forces right now!  They aren't getting much
    crowd response, but I think they are getting a lot more cheers now than
    before!"

Jimmy: "Everybody loves a winner, McLady."

Baboon: "And here come The PainMasters, John Girder, Fury, and Metallicus!"

Wince: "They dominated the EMWA, and they fared well at the last Summit, but
    they haven't been very active recently."

Baboon: "The Armed Forces attack before the bell!  Corporal Crush knocks
    Fury out of the ring, but Metallicus throws Admiral Ax over the top rope!"

Wince: "Sergeant Smash and John Girder are slugging it out!  Nice takedown
    by Girder!  And he suplexes Smash, but Crush stomps him before he can get
    up!"

Baboon: "Metallicus grabs Crush from behind in a full nelson!  Meanwhile, Fury
    just grabbed a chair outside the ring and he hits Ax with it!  Smash
    body slams Girder, then kicks at Fury to get his attention."

Wince: "And Ax takes advantage of that distraction and hits Fury with a chair!"

Baboon: "Wait a minute, Girder is up, and he knocks Smash out of the ring!"

Jimmy: "And Crush is still locked in Metallicus' full nelson!  Crush submits!
    But the fight is going on outside the ring!  Ax and Smash are pummeling
    Fury, but here come Girder and Metallicus!"

Baboon: "The Armed Forces are heading back to the dressing room!  That will be
    it for them in this tournament!"

TnT Enterprises vs. The Big Three

Wince: "We're about to see two UFWS rival teams square off, TnT Enterprises
    and The Big Three!"

Baboon: "Here come The Big Three right now!  Mr. Touchdown and The Cochons!"

Wince: "And here are their opponents, Powerhouse Pruitt, Cannonball Calhoun,
    and Brimstone Baxter!"

Baboon: "The fans seem to be favoring TnT, Wince."

Wince: "Indeed.  And Maurice Cochon will start the match against Powerhouse
    Pruitt.  Pruitt immediately uses his strength to his advantage and
    powers Maurice into a corner."

Baboon: "And Pruitt isn't wasting any time, he climbs the turnbuckles and
    pounds Maurice in the face!  But Maurice brings him back down with an
    inverted atomic drop!"

Wince: "Maurice twists Pruitt's arm and tags to Paul, who drops a punch into
    the exposed arm."

Jimmy: "The Cochon Brothers have already cut the ring in half.  Now they will
    cut Pruitt in half!"

Baboon: "Paul twists the arm some more, and tags back to Maurice.  But
    Powerhouse Pruitt rams both their heads together!"

Wince: "Pruitt slams Maurice, then tags to Brimstone Baxter!"

Baboon: "Maurice Cochon tags out to Mr. Touchdown, who clotheslines Baxter!"

Wince: "Baxter applies a leg trip takedown, and hammerlocks Mr. Touchdown.  But
    Touchdown grabs the ropes, and Baxter has to break the hold."

Jimmy: "And like the idiot he is, he let's the ref tell him what to do!"

Baboon: "Brimstone Baxter hiptosses Touchdown across the ring, and goes for
    a camel clutch, but Touchdown powers up and falls backwards onto Baxter!"

Wince: "Touchdown stomps Baxter and chokes him, then tags to Paul Cochon,
    who leaps off the top rope for a flying splash!  But Baxter rolls away!"

Baboon: "Brimstone Baxter tags out to Cannonball Calhoun, who sets the helpless
    Paul up for a piledriver!"

Jimmy: "Wham, he nailed it!  But the referee doesn't see, he's talking to
    Touchdown!  And Maurice nails Calhoun with a fist from the top rope!"

Wince: "Maurice puts Paul on top of Cannonball!  Finally the ref turns around!
    No, ref, no!"

Jimmy: "One, two, three!  The Big Three win!"

Baboon: "Powerhouse Pruitt grabs Maurice and slams him over the top rope down
    onto the concrete!  The Big Three are retreating, but they will be advancing
    to face The PainMasters in the next round!"

Mauler, Black Widow, and Lanny vs. Da Boyz and Public Enemy

Wince: "All right, this match is going to be underway very shortly, as
    Da Boyz, Da Boss, and Public Enemy are on their way to the ring."

Baboon: "And immediately afterwards, here come The Romulan Mauler, The Ultimate
    Lanny, and The Black Widow who is certainly still hurting from Burn's dive
    onto him earlier."

Wince: "The Ultimate Lanny starts the match for The Trekkies, and he will
    be facing off against Nunzio of Da Boyz."

Jimmy: "And Nunzio immediately lashes out with a kick to Lanny's knee!  That's
    Nunzio's specialty, I understand!"

Baboon: "It seems to have been effective, as Lanny is now limping around the
    ring.  Nunzio kicks him in the other knee, and Lanny goes down!  Nunzio
    tags to Guido, and Da Boyz twist Lanny's ankles!"

Jimmy: "If they can take out the pins on that big man, they're well on their
    way to victory."

Baboon: "Guido chokes Lanny, breaking just before the ref can disqualify him,
    then Guido goes for the pin, but Lanny kicks out!"

Wince: "Lanny hits Guido with a series of knife edge chops, and he tries for
    a press slam, but his knees give out, and they go down!"

Baboon: "It could be over right here!  No, The Ultimate Lanny kicks out!"

Jimmy: "With a little help from The Mauler, Tempest.  Now Lanny grabs
    Guido by the hair and throws him out of the ring, and The Approximate
    Manny throws him back in!"

Wince: "Lanny tags out to The Black Widow, and Guido tags to Public Enemy!"

Baboon: "Public Enemy gives The Black Widow a heart punch!"

Jimmy: "Brilliant!  The old man has heart trouble, so that could finish him for
    good!"

Baboon: "Give us a break.  Public Enemy tries again, but The Black Widow
    sidesteps and traps Public Enemy's arm, then gives him a reverse chicken
    wing!"

Wince: "The Black Widow works on Public Enemy's arm some more, then tags out
    to The Romulan Mauler!"

Baboon: "The Romulan Mauler slams Public Enemy, then goes for a pin, but Da
    Boyz make the save!"

Wince: "And The Mauler clotheslines them both, knocking them out of the ring!"

Baboon: "But Public Enemy has had time to recover and he punches The Mauler in
    the kidneys and rolls him up!"

Wince: "Kickout by The Romulan Mauler, and he's mad now!  He whips Public
    Enemy off the ropes and power slams him!  One, two, three!"

Baboon: "The Ultimate Trekkies win and advance to the semi-finals!"

Big Red vs. The Stormbringers

Baboon: "This is the final match of the second round, but the first for
    Big Red.  Big Red is The General and The Hoosiers.  They will be
    facing Billy Thunder, Randy "Rock 'n Roll" Hurricane, and Angus "The
    Claymore" Campbell for the right to face The Ultimate Trekkies in the
    next round."

Wince: "The crowd cheers for both teams as they make their way down the aisle.
    And everybody shakes hands in the ring."

Baboon: "Daemon of The Hoosiers starts out against Randy Hurricane of
    The Stormbringers.  And the two wrestlers tie up... monkey flip by
    Daemon!"

Wince: "But Hurricane gets up first and small packages Daemon!  One, two,
    kickout!"

Baboon: "Daemon puts an armbar on Hurricane, and tags to Erik!"

Wince: "The Stormbringers don't have anybody to match power with Erik, and
    he throws Hurricane around the ring.  Drop kick by Randy Hurricane!  And
    he tags out to Angus Campbell!"

Baboon: "Campbell trips Erik, and tries to twist his arm, but Erik nails
    The Claymore with an elbow!"

Wince: "Angus gives Erik an inverted atomic drop, but Erik slingshot suplexes
    Campbell and tags out to The General!"

Baboon: "The General chops Angus, then whips him off the ropes and hiptosses
    him!  The Claymore pulls one of The General's legs out from under him
    and takes him down, then goes for a figure four!"

Jimmy: "But The General is too wily for that, he small packages Angus!  One,
    two, kickout!"

Wince: "But Campbell makes a quick tag to Billy Thunder!  Thunder shoulderblocks
    The General, and The General tags to Daemon!"

Baboon: "Daemon ducks a punch and trips Thunder into the ropes, then tags back
    to Erik."

Wince: "Daemon gives Thunder an inverted atomic drop, then Erik gives him an
    atomic drop!"

Jimmy: "Thunder's spine must be jelly by now!"

Wince: "Erik tries for a body slam, but Thunder blocks it and slams Erik!"

Baboon: "Erik tags to The General, who clothesline Thunder and then tags back
    to Daemon!  Daemon tags to Erik quickly, and all three members of Big Red
    are in the ring!"

Wince: "Daemon and Erik are setting Thunder up for a double DDT!  And they
    deliver it, just as The General bounces off the ropes and jumps on Thunder's
    back!"

Baboon: "The Three-D-T!"

Wince: "Erik slaps Angus in the face to try to draw him into the ring, and
    he succeeds, and the ref steps in to stop Angus, while Big Red set up
    another triple team move!"

Baboon: "But while the referee is occupied with Angus, Randy Hurricane enters
    the fray!  He's fighting the whole other team, trying to prevent them
    from putting another move on Thunder!"

Wince: "Now Angus Campbell is in there!  It's mayhem!"

Jimmy: "And the referee disqualifies both teams!  I love it!  Neither of these
    teams are going any further in the tournament!"

Baboon: "But that means The Romulan Mauler, The Ultimate Lanny, and The Black
    Widow will have a bye in the next round."

Round Three

Wince: "Because our last match ended in a draw, there are only three teams
    left.  The team of The Romulan Mauler, The Black Widow, and The Ultimate
    Lanny will have a bye this round, while The PainMasters will face The Big
    Three."

Baboon: "It's time for the match."

The PainMasters vs. The Big Three

Wince: "The Big Three are on their way to the ring!  The fans are really giving
    them a negative reaction, since they had to cheat their way to a victory
    last time."

Baboon: "And here come The PainMasters!  They're getting a bunch of cheers, but
    a few boos too."

Wince: "This match doesn't look like it will be over as quickly as The
    PainMasters last match.  They're sending Fury in first, and Mr. Touchdown
    will oppose him."

Baboon: "Touchdown locks up with Fury, and knees him in the ribs.  Fury
    headbutts Mr. Touchdown, and slams him!"

Wince: "But Mr. Touchdown gets up quickly and chokes Fury back into a neutral
    corner!  Touchdown tries to whip Fury to the opposite corner, but Fury
    reverses it, and Touchdown flies into the buckles!"

Jimmy: "Fury charges in, but Touchdown thinking quickly puts his foot up and
    Fury runs into it!"

Baboon: "Touchdown tags to Maurice Cochon, who snapkicks Fury, then chokes
    him on the top rope."

Wince: "Maurice snaps the rope back, sending Fury flying across the ring.  But
    Fury tags out to John Girder."

Baboon: "Girder gives Maurice a gutwrench suplex, and goes for a pin, but he
    only gets a one count."

Wince: "Maurice tags to Paul, who axehandles John Girder in the back, then
    throws him out of the ring."

Baboon: "Girder is trying to get back in, but Paul Cochon won't let him!
    He keeps kicking at Girder everytime Girder tries to get onto the ring
    apron!"

Jimmy: "Metallicus runs in and almost flips Paul over with a clothesline!  That
    was unfair, but at least it was impressive!  I can't wait to see him
    do it to The Black Widow!"

Baboon: "Girder gets back into the ring, punches Paul Cochon, and tags to
    Metallicus!"

Wince: "Paul has tagged out to Mr. Touchdown, who Metallicus lifts by the throat
    and then drops unceremoniously on the mat!"

Baboon: "Touchdown rakes Metallicus' face and scurries out of the ring to get a
    breather, but Metallicus won't let him get away!  They're brawling on the
    floor!"

Jimmy: "Metallicus throws Touchdown back into the ring and brings a chair in!
    He bashes Touchdown with it, then he bashes both of the Cochons!"

Wince: "And the referee disqualifies The PainMasters!"

Baboon: "So The Big Three advance to the final round to face The Ultimate
    Trekkies!"

Final Round

Wince: "We are now down to just two teams, one of which will walk away with
    the Freebird - Von Erich Memorial Trophy!"

Baboon: "The Big Three started the tournament with a win over Johann Svenson
    and The Shield Brothers, then beat TnT Enterprises in the second round,
    and The PainMasters in the semifinals."

Wince: "Meanwhile, The Ultimate Trekkies beat Pillage, then Da Boyz and Public
    Enemy, and then had a bye."

Baboon: "Let's go to Green Jean!"

***************************************************************************

Green Jean: "Thank you! Admiral Chekov, your men are on a roll: the Royal
  Rumble yesterday, a victory over the Dangerous Emotions, and now the
  final match of the Von Erich cup!"

Chekov: "That's right, and we won't let these no-good bums Touchdump and the
  Pig Brothers waste that trophy!"

Lanny: "TOUCHDOWN!... AHHHHH!!! I have beat you so many times that you
  probably can't count to that number! Today will be no different!"

Mauler: "Cochons! You took the UFWS tag-team titles away form the Trekkies,
  but we will be back sooner than you think! COUNT ON IT!"
  ~r

Mauler, Black Widow, and Lanny vs. The Big Three

Wince: "All right, here comes one of the two finalist teams, The Big Three!
    They are going to be a little tired, since they haven't had as much time
    to rest as The Trekkies."

Baboon: "There aren't a lot of people in this arena who like Touchdown or
    The Cochons, Wince, but here comes a team they certainly approve of!"

Jimmy: "Moron, Window, and Annie are on their way to the ring!  What do the
    marks see in these guys?"

Wince: "It's Mauler, Widow, and Lanny, Jimmy.  By the way, a lot of people
    say The Romulan Mauler is a better color commentator than you."

Jimmy: "No way!"

Baboon: "The Romulan Mauler is waiting in the middle of the ring while The Big
    Three are trying to decide who will oppose him.  The Mauler makes their
    decision for them by grabbing Mr. Touchdown and hauling him into the ring!"

Wince: "Mauler whips Touchdown off the ropes and gives him a one hand choke
    slam!  And The Mauler quickly tags out to The Black Widow, who leaps
    off the top rope with a flying fistdrop!"

Baboon: "The Black Widow whips Mr. Touchdown into a corner and tries for a
    monkey flip, but Mr. Touchdown holds onto the ropes and The Black Widow
    lands headfirst on the mat!"

Jimmy: "Ha ha ha!  Do that again, Widow!  That was funny!"

Wince: "Are you sane, Jimmy?  Mr. Touchdown stomps on the downed e-wrestling
    legend, and tags to Paul Cochon.  Touchdown puts an abdominal stretch
    on The Black Widow, and Cochon kicks him in the midsection!"

Baboon: "Touchdown is finally out of the ring, and Paul Cochon is choking
    The Black Widow in the ropes."

Jimmy: "And Maurice Cochon is kicking The Black Widow in the face!  This is
    like a dream come true!"

Wince: "But not for all the fans!  The Black Widow stands up and forearms
    Paul, then turns around and hits Maurice!  And he hits Touchdown too!"

Baboon: "The Black Widow has gotten his second wind, and he tags to The Ultimate
    Lanny, who charges and clotheslines Paul!  Paul tags to Maurice, who
    The Ultimate Lanny slingshots into the ring!"

Wince: "Admiral Chekov is calling for something... he wants Lanny to take
    Maurice to The Trekkies' corner so they can work him over."

Baboon: "But Maurice fouls that plan by elbowing Lanny in the guts, then setting
    him up for a DDT!"

Wince: "Lanny counters it by sliding away.  Oh, and Mr. Touchdown hits him from
    behind!  When Lanny turns around to hit Touchdown, Maurice rolls him up!"

Jimmy: "One, two, kickout!  Darn."

Baboon: "Maurice tags out to Paul, who kicks Lanny, then gives him a
    shoulderbreaker."

Wince: "Paul applies a neck twist on Lanny, and goes for a pin, but The Black
    Widow makes the save."

Jimmy: "Cheater.  I would never do something that low."

Baboon: "Yeah right.  Mr. Touchdown is tagged in, and he tries for a leglock,
    but Lanny punches him and tags out to The Black Widow!"

Wince: "The Black Widow nails Touchdown with a spinning kick, then whips him
    off the ropes into an elbow!  The Black Widow punches Touchdown in the
    midsection and sunset flips him, but Touchdown keeps his balance and
    punches The Black Widow in the face!"

Baboon: "Touchdown goes for the pin!  One, two, kickout!"

Wince: "Mr. Touchdown tags in Maurice, who misses with an elbow drop!  The Black
    Widow tags in The Romulan Mauler!  The Mauler presses Maurice and drops
    him!"

Baboon: "Maurice is begging for mercy, but The Mauler won't give it to him!  He
    kicks Maurice in the face and drags him to the center of the ring!"

Wince: "Outside the ring, The Cheerleaders look concerned."

Baboon: "They haven't had much effect on this tournament... until now.  Muffy
    throws her pom-pon into the ring, and Maurice hits The Mauler with it!"

Wince: "The referee was watching the other cheerleader and saw none of this!
    We couldn't he keep his eyes on the match?"

Jimmy: "The only people who weren't watching The Cheerleaders were eunuchs like
    you and Tempest, McLady!"

Baboon: "Maurice covers The Mauler!  One, two, three!  The Big Three win!"

Wince: "Mr. Touchdown, The Cochons, and The Cheerleaders leave with the
    Freebirds - Von Erich trophy!  Meanwhile, The Trekkies are tending to
    The Romulan Mauler and Admiral Chekov pours cold water on the referee!"

Jimmy: "What poor losers!"

Wince: "So the Big Three win the six-man tournament!  That's it from here.  So
    long, everyone!"

**************************************************************************

Lord Winfred: "Thank you gentlemen! That's it for today; don't forget to tune
 in tomorrow, for a big inter-federation SuperCard featuring a name match
 between the SandMen of the UFWS and the WeWF, The Black Widow defending the
 UFWS North American title against WeWF legend The General, Rusty and Rustin
 Nose against The Hoosiers, and "The Sheriff" Brewster Cogburn against
 Steelgrave for the Ultimate Heavyweight title, sponsored by Ace Diamond and
 TNT enterprises; also tomorrow, Day 3 of the UeWF title tournaments! Until
 then, this is Lord Winfred Vague, good night!"