EEFL Tasman Division Final Table From: wickart@ichips.intel.com (Bill 'Prune' Wickart) Date: Thu, 13 Feb 1992 18:35:54 +0000 EXPERIMENTAL ELECTRONIC FOOTBALL LEAGUE TASMAN DIVISION FINAL TABLE Team Pts W D L GF:GA CP TP Cash ----------------------------------------------------------------- d-ERANGE-d d-EFAULT 30 9 12 1 17: 5 0.0 0 $1169 Linlithgow Strollers 26 10 6 6 26:18 0.0 0 $1283 Novocastrain Gunners 25 9 7 6 24:17 0.0 0 $1196 Holland Club Irregulars 25 10 5 7 26:19 0.0 0 $1278 Canberra Capitals 24 6 12 4 15:14 0.0 0 $ 944 Theor. Flying Phys'sts 23 7 9 6 18:19 0.0 0 $1078 Casteddu 22 5 12 5 22:16 0.0 0 $1165 5.FC Gweedore Emeralds 22 7 8 7 17:21 0.0 1 $1076 Sned City A.F.C. 20 4 12 6 11:13 0.0 0 $1025 Tasmania Tigers 19 8 3 11 14:25 0.0 0 $ 980 Christch. Candy Crunch. 18 6 6 10 17:25 0.0 0 $ 921 Vikings of Denmark 10 1 8 13 14:29 0.0 0 $ 840 ----------------------------------------------------------------- MVP bonus: DED No Moves Received: none The Novocastrian Gunners take third on head-to-head record with HCI (one win, one draw). ----------------------------------------------------------------- Roster changes: none ----------------------------------------------------------------- Commissioner's Comments: DED takes both matches and the championship while everyone else fades. The Gunners make a session B win stand up for 3rd. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Errors and fines: CCC: $10K: misspelled an opponent's name DED: $10K: misspelled a player's name GE5: $10K: misspelled a player's name (wrong initial) $10K: misspelled a player's name $10K: used "v" instead of "vs " $5K: left out third column free: tried to train or coach an ineligible player SCA: free: overspent on TP or CP TT: $25K: tried to play wrong number of wings in an area free: overspent on TP or CP ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Match 21 NG at TFP 1 - 2 (3 - 7) GK D. Seaman (-2:0 0 1) GK S. Weinberg (-1:0 0 0) SW S. Bould (0:0 0 1) SW L. Boltzman (0:0 0 0) DF L. Dixon (0:0 0 0) DF A. Lemaitre (0:0 0 0) @ 45 DF K. Samson (0:0 0 0) DF G. Gamow (0:0 0 0) DF T. Dorigo (0:0 0 0) DF V. Weisspkoff (0:0 0 0) (sub) DF D. O'Leary (0:1 0 2) MF K. Campbell (0:0 0 0) MF A. Eddington (1:2 0 0) (sub) MF D. Roadcastle (0:0 0 0) (sub) MF L. Spitzer (0:2 0 0) MF A. Limpar (0:1 1 0) MF H. Bethe (1:2 0 0) (bk) MF M. Thomas (1:1 0 0) @ 60 MF H. Shapley (0:0 0 0) @ 45 FW I. Rush (0:0 0 0) @ 30 FW R. Penrose (0:1 0 0) FW A. Smith (0:0 0 0) FW J. Wheeler (0:0 0 0) FW J. Aldridge (0:0 0 0) (sub) FW S. Hawkings (0:0 0 0) UT K. Thorne (0:0 0 0) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Match 21 GE5 at SCA 0 - 1 (1 - 8) GK E. Maamakeogh (-1:0 0 1) GK R. Blackburn (0:0 0 1) SW H. Dingle (0:0 0 1) SW M. Willcock (0:0 0 0) DF K. Ardara (0:0 0 1) DF E. Yates (0:0 0 0) DF G. Mayo (0:0 0 1) DF A. Smith (0:0 0 0) DF O. Hazeem (0:0 0 0) DF P. Champion (0:0 0 0) MF D. Falcarragh (0:0 0 0) MF A. White (0:1 0 0) MF N. Omagh (0:0 0 0) (bk) MF G. DSouza (0:0 1 0) MF M. Omagh (0:0 0 0) (bk) MF E. MacKenzie (0:0 0 0) FW D. Boyle (0:1 0 0) FW B. Loper (0:2 0 0) FW P. Ballymoney (0:0 0 0) FW C. Bland (0:2 0 0) FW G. Travers (1:2 0 0) UT M. Brown (0:1 0 0) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Match 21 TT at CDU 1 - 4 (6 - 12) GK B. Waters (-4:0 0 1) GK R. Barocco (-1:0 0 1) SW T. Adams (0:0 0 2) SW P. Pala (0:0 0 1) DF S. Stark (0:1 0 0) (bk) DF E. Bosco (0:0 0 0) (sub) DF R. McDonald (0:0 0 0) DF C. Caponetto (0:0 0 0) DF R. Neate (0:0 0 0) DF A. Dimich (0:1 0 0) @ 60 DF A. Risalvato (0:0 1 0) MF L. Brady (0:0 0 0) MF L. Sorrentino (0:0 0 0) @ 30 MF M. Thomas (1:2 0 0) MF M. Mincamix (1:2 0 0) MF I. Nicholson (0:0 0 0) (bk) MF L. Cocco (1:1 1 0) (sub) MF L. Aste (0:1 1 0) FW A. Smith (0:2 0 0) FW G. Uovo (0:0 0 0) FW G. Rix (0:1 0 0) FW G. Matta (0:3 1 0) FW A. Head (0:0 1 0) FW R. Boassa (2:4 0 0) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Match 21 HCI at CCC 1 - 2 (8 - 11) GK D. Sands (-2:0 0 1) GK S. Yashin (-1:0 0 1) SW G. Stopper (0:0 0 0) DF N. Leonard (0:0 0 0) DF G. Learner (0:0 0 0) DF D. Harper (0:0 0 2) DF B. Back (0:0 0 1) @ 45 DF G. Hattersley (0:0 0 0) DF F. Toobad (0:0 0 0) (sub) MF C. Angus (0:0 0 0) MF G. Passer (0:0 0 0) MF M. Harper (0:1 0 0) MF B. Player (1:2 0 0) @ 45 MF C. Hargreaves (0:3 0 0) MF F. Skill (1:2 0 0) MF P. Peel (0:1 0 0) MF J. Rabbit (0:0 0 0) (sub) FW L. Davies (0:0 0 0) FW S. Johnston (0:1 0 0) FW N. Collier (0:2 0 0) FW H. Scorer (0:1 0 0) FW S. Barry (1:1 0 0) FW W. Shot (0:5 0 0) UT W. Wally (0:0 0 1) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Match 21 VDK at DED 1 - 2 (1 - 16) GK O. Bukstad (-2:0 0 2) GK E. NOENT (-1:0 0 0) @ 30 GK B. Bartok (0:0 0 0) (sub) SW I. Nielsen (0:0 0 0) SW E. NOTBLK (0:0 0 0) DF A. Prebensen (0:0 0 2) DF E. IO (0:1 0 0) DF K. Nielsen (0:0 0 0) DF E. NXIO (0:0 0 0) DF S. Berg (0:0 0 0) DF E. BIG (0:0 0 0) MF T. Piechnic (0:0 0 0) @ 15 MF E. NOMEM (0:2 0 0) MF P. Larsen (0:0 0 0) (sub) MF E. NOSPC (0:1 1 0) MF M. Manniche (0:0 0 0) MF E. BUSY (0:4 0 0) MF E. ACCES (1:4 0 0) @60 FW U. Pedersen (0:0 0 0) FW E. FBIG (1:3 0 0) FW E. Sommer (1:1 0 0) FW E. FAULT (0:1 0 0) FW I. Koppen (0:0 0 0) FW M. DeSanctis (0:0 0 0) (sub) FW A. Schaepers (0:0 1 0) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Match 21 LLS at CBC 2 - 2 (6 - 10) GK C. Woods (-2:0 0 2) GK J. Gordon (-2:0 0 2) SW O. Kuznetsov (0:0 0 1) DF S. Nisbet (0:0 0 0) DF J. Kambah (0:0 0 0) DF A. Barber (0:0 0 0) DF A. Issacs (0:0 0 0) DF R. Gough (0:0 0 0) DF D. Fadden (0:0 0 0) MF I. Ferguson (0:0 0 0) MF D. Holder (0:0 0 0) (sub) MF A. Mchenko (1:2 0 0) MF A. Deakin (0:1 0 0) MF T. Steven (0:1 0 0) MF P. Chifley (0:0 0 0) @ 30 FW J. Spencer (0:1 0 0) FW I. Kayleen (1:2 0 0) FW M. Hateley (0:1 0 0) FW B. Evatt (0:2 1 0) FW M. Johnston (1:1 0 0) FW B. Hall (1:2 0 0) FW C. Veart (0:1 0 0) FW T. Tynan (0:2 0 0) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Match 22 CCC at NG 1 - 3 (4 - 10) GK S. Yashin (-3:0 0 2) GK D. Seaman (-1:0 0 0) SW A. Stopper (0:0 0 1) SW T. Adams (0:0 0 0) (sub) SW S. Bould (0:0 0 1) (bk) @60 DF L. Chopper (0:0 0 0) (sub) DF L. Dixon (0:0 0 0) DF B. Back (0:0 0 0) (bk) DF T. Dorigo (0:0 0 0) DF F. Toobad (0:0 0 0) @ 45 MF G. Passer (0:0 1 1) MF K. Campbell (0:1 0 0) MF B. Player (1:1 0 0) MF A. Limpar (0:1 0 0) MF F. Skill (0:0 0 0) MF M. Thomas (0:3 0 0) FW S. Johnston (0:0 0 0) FW I. Rush (1:2 0 0) FW W. Shot (0:1 0 0) FW A. Smith (1:1 0 0) FW F. Wing (0:2 0 0) FW P. Merson (0:1 0 0) @ 60 FW J. Aldridge (1:1 0 0) (sub) UT W. Wally (0:0 0 0) UT D. Platt (0:0 0 0) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Match 22 DED at TT 1 - 0 (7 - 3) GK B. Bartok (0:0 0 1) GK B. Waters (-1:0 0 2) SW E. NOTBLK (0:0 0 0) SW E. WOULDBLOCK (0:0 0 1) DF E. CHILD (0:0 0 0) (bk) DF S. Stark (0:1 0 1) DF E. AGAIN (0:1 0 0) DF C. Gale (0:0 0 0) DF S. Norris (0:0 0 0) (bk) MF E. NOMEM (0:0 0 0) (sub) MF S. Grant (0:0 0 0) MF E. NOSPC (0:1 0 0) @ 60 MF L. Brady (0:0 0 0) @ 45 MF E. BUSY (0:0 1 0) MF M. Thomas (0:0 0 0) MF E. ACCES (0:2 0 0) MF J. Tisch (0:0 0 0) (sub) FW E. FBIG (1:2 0 0) FW T. Woodcock (0:0 0 0) FW E. FAULT (0:0 0 0) FW A. Smith (0:1 0 0) FW G. Rix (0:0 0 0) @75 FW S. Hughson (0:1 0 0) UT E. XDEV (0:1 0 0) (bk) UT M. Johnson (0:0 0 0) (sub) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Match 22 CBC at SCA 0 - 0 (3 - 1) GK J. Gordon (0:0 0 0) GK W. Gribble (0:0 0 1) SW I. Gilmore (0:0 0 0) SW M. Willcock (0:0 0 0) SW M. Lowe (0:0 0 0) DF J. Kambah (0:0 0 0) DF G. Lowe (0:0 0 0) DF S. Farrer (0:1 0 0) DF D. Fadden (0:1 0 0) MF P. Chifley (0:0 0 0) MF M. Compton (0:0 0 0) MF S. Curtin (0:0 0 0) MF D. Tully (0:0 0 0) (bk) MF A. White (0:0 0 0) FW S. Downer (0:0 0 0) FW J. Kerr (0:0 0 0) FW I. Kayleen (0:0 0 0) @ 45 FW G. Travers (0:1 0 0) (bk) FW B. Evatt (0:0 0 0) (sub) FW G. Cameron (0:0 0 0) FW B. Hall (0:0 0 0) @ 75 FW C. Veart (0:1 0 0) FW T. Tynan (0:0 0 0) (sub) UT M. Brown (0:0 0 0) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Match 22 LLS at TFP 0 - 2 (3 - 8) GK C. Woods (-2:0 0 0) GK A. Einstein (0:0 0 0) SW O. Kuznetsov (0:0 0 0) SW S. Glashow (0:0 0 1) DF A. Barber (0:0 0 1) DF A. Lemaitre (0:0 0 0) DF G. Stevens (0:0 0 1) DF G. Gamow (0:0 0 0) DF H. Bondi (0:0 0 0) MF A. Mchenko (0:1 0 0) MF L. Spitzer (1:2 0 0) MF N. Spackman (0:0 0 0) MF H. Bethe (0:4 0 0) MF S. McCall (0:1 0 0) MF H. Alfven (0:0 0 0) (sub) MF H. Shapley (0:1 0 0) @45 FW J. Spencer (0:0 0 0) @ 30 FW M. Planck (0:0 0 0) FW G. Mcswegan (0:0 0 0) (bk) (sub) FW R. Penrose (0:0 0 0) (bk) FW M. Hateley (0:0 0 0) FW J. Wheeler (1:1 0 0) FW A. McCoist (0:0 0 0) (sub) FW M. Johnston (0:1 0 0) @ 45 UT J. Shaw (0:0 0 0) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Match 22 VDK at GE5 1 - 1 (5 - 10) GK J. Antonsen (-1:0 0 4) GK C. Kinsale (-1:0 0 1) SW M. Olsen (0:0 0 0) SW P. Newport (0:0 0 1) DF U. Halvorsen (0:0 0 0) DF P. Roscommon (0:0 0 0) DF K. Nielsen (0:0 0 0) DF G. Mayo (0:0 0 0) DF D. Carrauntoohil (0:0 0 0) MF T. Piechnic (0:1 1 0) MF D. Falcarragh (0:0 0 0) MF P. Larsen (0:1 0 0) MF O. Tuam (0:3 0 0) MF M. Bruun (0:0 0 0) FW I. Koppen (0:0 0 0) (RC) @ 71 FW N. Ennis (1:2 0 0) FW A. Schaepers (0:1 0 0) FW D. Boyle (0:3 0 0) FW K. Gaba (1:2 0 0) FW P. Ballymoney (0:1 0 0) FW C. Munster (0:1 0 0) UT N. Nielsson (0:0 0 1) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Match 22 CDU at HCI 0 - 0 (5 - 4) GK S. Loddo (0:0 0 0) GK P. Bradley (0:0 0 1) SW S. Asili (0:0 0 1) SW C. Boggio (0:0 0 0) DF E. Bosco (0:0 0 0) DF H. Patel (0:1 0 0) (bk) DF E. Napoleone (0:0 0 0) DF G. Hattersley (0:0 0 1) DF A. Dimich (0:0 0 0) MF L. Sorrentino (0:0 0 0) MF M. Harper (0:1 0 0) MF L. Cocco (0:0 0 0) MF K. Graves (0:0 0 0) MF M. Ditta (0:2 0 0) MF C. Gilmour (0:1 0 0) FW G. Matta (0:0 0 0) (sub) FW L. Davies (0:1 0 0) FW P. Boassa (0:1 0 0) FW C. Knight-Evans (0:0 0 0) FW G. Mckitz (0:1 0 0) FW A. Draine (0:0 0 0) FW R. Boassa (0:1 0 0) @ 60 UT B. Woods (0:0 0 0) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------------------ CBC: Alike a number of other managers, when the going gets tough, the tough go fishing, or at least away from all the action; and I'm loving it. So far I've caught two boots (both left-footed), one car steering wheel and just enough fish to cover dinner occasionally. With regard to the team, we had a good home win in front of the packed Big Mal S'dome against ex-leaders LLS and followed this up with a close score-draw accross the Tasman against SCA. Did we qualify? CCC: 'Big' Al Murray has returned from his fishing trip on the West Coast but seems strangely uninterested in football. When asked what team lineups he wanted for the final two games of the season he told Uncle Tom Cobblers "you deal with it - I'm off to see my lawyers to find out how much I can get from the DED management and then I think I'll tie some flies." CDU: DED: A letter from Manager Sargent, arrived at police headquaters today. The post mark on the envelope said 'Hong Kong'. The letter read ' I am still hiding in a Hong Kong restaurant. or maybe I am in a shop, or maybe up the peak. I understand that there have been certain allegations made by Mr Murray of Christchurch about my dissapearance in the middle of an EEFL season being related to some sort of illegal rodent trade. As you would be aware by now, I have no knowledge of any illegal rodent breeding ground, and our only Lemming 'Kamikaze' has a department of immigration approval, refer to documetn 123asd23 enclosed. Seeing we have only one Lemming, which is legal I have not done anything wrong. The reason the allegations have been made by Mr Murray, is quite obvious, (see photo of Mr Murray with his pet sheep involved in some sort of business conference with Don Perignon, another known mafia boss. (who works for CDU) I have broken the code, the Candy Crunchers are really money launderers and their abreviation CCC is a secret acornym for the Clu Clux Clan, a notorious organisation in newzealand which plants drugs, waters them, and then waits for the profits to grow. I have information which can close down the whole drug trade in NewZealand, and Australia in return for guaranteed freedom' Directors at the Lemming breeding ground got rid of all stock. They were packaged up and sent to Inuvik, a small town in Canada founded by Erik the Red. Why they were sent there, is a secret, although rumours are that Inuvik is a town hated by Lemmings, and that a Lemming invasion is what the town needs. Bear in mind, that a lemming Victory would be shattering for the Ancient Vikings in that town who are not used to losing. Back at the d-OME , the d-EFAULTS played the Vikings of Denmarks. These Vikings were not as tough as those from Inuvik, but because of the loss of their queen during the last DED match, tensions were high. Luckily, the non-existant micronmatic milinium flippo gruffle wang did its job, and kept 0.000000001 percent of spectators off the field, or else it would of been carnage. Rumour has it that only 3 spectators, and two opposition coaches died. Latest figures indicate that the 1 at then end of the percentage figure was a rounding error, and that no spectators were kept off the field. Dead elephants stuck inside cockroach baits were seen by the side of the field, they seem to get in, eat the food, and then get stuck. This seems to be controlling the numbers, but not reducing them. The trip to tasmania was uneventful. Tim promised that his team would not go out on a losing note, and it was a very tough match. DED is now looking forward to the finals series and the imminent return of its manager to give it that strategical edge in the finals. Heck we've done this well without him being able to change anything, how well will we do now. GE5: HCI: LLS: 18000 PEOPLE DIE IN FOOTBALL *TRAGEDY* AT NANBREAD STADIUM The full extent of Saturdays horror was revealed today as it was confirmed that 18000 people had been *BORED* to death watching Saturdays football match between Linlithgow Strollers and DED (quite an apt acronym) Quite frankly only one person is to balme, DED manager 'Boring' Sargent. No wonder he has elephants falling of the roof of his stadium, they too are probably bored to death, and this is the most entertainment the home fans get at a game in the Dome. It was obvious to the 18000 victims right from the start that Saturdays game would not be a classic with so much at stake to both clubs, however no one was prepared for the full force of Sargents tactics. Lineing up in a 4-4-2 formation it was easy to see that DED had came for yet *another* draw. This was only the start as both their forwards never crossed the halfway line and two of the midfield were playing virtually in the centre of defence!!! Manager of the Strollers had this to say "If Mr. Sargent wants to play in this manner then nobody can stop him but I simply cannot understand why anybody would want to watch it, personally I would rather watch paint dry. I can only hope that one of these infamous elephants that hang about the roof of the Dome falls on him before the start of next season." A late report just in has brought more catastrophe at Nanbread Stadium. 18000 fans, 11 players and a manager have all attempted suicide after Linlithgow Strollers 1-0 defeat by GE5, who apparently didn't turn up!!! Manager James Shaw is said to be shaken up but not hurt after he shot himself through the head. Thats all the news for today but we will be following the Strollers progress towards the playoffs next Session when they go firstly to Canberra to play CBC and then to the Laboratory to play TFP. NG: Good luck to all teams in our TASMAN DIVISION in the play-offs and in future games. SCA: TFP: "Well ... this was not as bad a season as our fans feared" commented to this reporter trainer Chololo Paredes now that TFP is out of the big race. Most fans have been pleaced with the new playing style of TFP during the 2nd Half of the Season. On his first year as a coach, trainer Chololo Paredes has focus the abilities of his players from pencil & paper to the real world ... some fans jokingly now call the team the "experimentalists" flying physicists! TFP players will go and give their best to the fans who have supported them thru out this season. All players seem optimistic about the last two games of the season. Rookie S. Hawkings hopes that TFP will find itself in the upper half of the division before the playoffs. "We seem to have gone beyond the horizon of the black hole of the first part of the season ..." TFP will close this season at home, and the TFP fun club leader W. Heisenberg assured to this reporter that even though the results of the last two games are "uncertain", TFP fans will be back next year for sure. J. Maxwell Electricity, Magnetism & Sports Herald VDK: Intel phone: 6-4668 wickart@ichips.intel.com Up