TTTTTT Round #3 From: mirrosen@silver.ucs.indiana.edu (Michael Rosen) Date: Thu, 26 Mar 1992 22:52:15 +0000 *********************TWIW TV TITLE TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT************************* Round 3 Magilla: This is Magilla Mongoose Wince: And this is Wince McLady DeMandable: And for you pencil-necks that don't know, I'm Mark DeMandable. Magilla: We're here for the semifinals of the TWIW TV TITLE TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT. Wince: In this round, we have Carnage vs. the Annihilation Alliance DeMandable: 'Bout time you learned how to spell Annihilation McLady! Wince: and the Addams Foundation vs. Flint and Steel. Magilla: I'm really looking forward to the latter match, featuring the IWF and WeWF tag team champions respectively. DeMandable: Where'd you learn to talk like that Mongoose? You never went to any Ivy league! Magilla: Nevertheless, many insiders feel that the winner of that bout will be the winner of the tournament. DeMandable: Not this insider! I go with the Annihilation Alliance. They beat 2 big teams to get here, and they're gonna face their toughest match tonight! Wince: We have an interview from someone who doesn't hold this tournament in high regards. <Roll Tape> Metal: The TWiW tag championship isn't being fought by the best in the competition, you forgot the Rock Foundation. We are the current Road Warrior champions, after only our third fight. We are clearly the superior team, We killed The Law, We defeated the Hoosiers, we smashed the Klingons plus numerous others, The only interfederation trophey that counts is the Road Warrior Cup, and I will be defending it at the next summit. LETS ROCK!! <<Leaves to "We Will Rock You", by Queen.>> <End Tape> DeMandable: Who's this punk think he is? I'm here! This is legit! Magilla: He was given plenty of time to enter a team. DeMandable: That jobber didn't enter because he thought the Four Corners would enter! Wince: Whatever the reason, he loses a lot of credibility in his abscence. Magilla: Let's hear from a team that does have a lot of credibility, the WeWF tag team champions! <Roll Tape> Flint: The Addams family, they say you're pretty unstoppable. Lurch has got to be one of the most impressively large and imposing wrestlers I've seen come down the pike. Alot of people ask how are you ever going to get anyone as awsome as Lurch down for a pin? Let me tell you something folks, when I was working back in the coal mines, there'd be some guys who tried to take on the whole mountain at once and force it to give in. And there would be some guys who would think a bit, bide their time, plan their attack and in the end those were the ones, the ones who worked smart, who would be the top producers, year in and year out. Well Addams, Lurch may be bigger and stronger than I am and Gomez you may be quicker, but I doubt it, but I got my brains and my skills to wear you down, slow you down , and eventually put you down. And if my skill come up short I got Frank Steel right behind me and if my brain is not up to the task that's why we got Molly. Steel: Ever since we beat Judgement Day, Molly's been having us watch you mates on tape. Pretty impressive, I have noticed that Uncle Fester gets into the action with his shovel quite a bit. Fester, I've seen what your shovel can do on dirt and skum, but you may end up breaking it if you try using it in this Steel. Molly: Despite what the brackets say, this is it, this is the finals, neither Carnage nor Annihilation Alliance can stand up to either Mickey and Frank or the Addams. Gomez, they say that you are some kind of genius at wrestling tactics, I guess this is our chance to find out who is the #1 wrestling tactition. Good luck and lets get down to business. <End Tape> DeMandable: Who does that broad think she is? Magilla: Their opponents had some strong words too. <Roll Tape> Gomez: We couldnt wait any longer to say how truly excruciatingly enjoyable this tournament has been. Now Flint and Steel, champions in your own right, get a once in a lifetime chance to visit with the Addams. Fester: Thats right Gomez, we're looking forward to giving Flint and Steel a taste of down home hospitality, Addams style (brings shovel into view and laughs). Moritcia: Dont worry Flint nor you Steel, the Addams Foundation has worn all three belts, single and tag team, of the IWF, so we can assure you of not only breaking into a sweat but the blissful breaking of some other parts of your anatomies as well. Gomez: (smiles and takes a puff from his cigar) Not too worry old boys, your suffering will neither be short nor sweet... Morticia : but delightfully agonizingly long....right Lurch? Lurch: Urrggghhh (smiling and nodding his head) Fester: Here we come Flint and Steel, are you ready for the time of your life! Greg <End Tape> Wince: I understand we've got Misty Radisson doing a locker room interview, let's go to it. What's so funny DeMandable? DeMandable (trying to hold back the laughter): Oh, nothing. he he he. (Cut to Misty in the locker room area) Misty : Hello everyone, This is Misty Radisson doing a special interview with those two hunks, Flint and Steel concerning their match up with the Addams Foundation. I hope my hair is ok. Mark was awful nice to get me this interview. Here's the room. [Misty opens the door, but it is not Flint and Steel in the room, it is Aries Prime and the Dark Horse standing in the room in their full body armor.] Oh, you're not Flint and Steel! DeMandable I'll get you. Prime : Misty...Please don't leave...We have something important to say... Flint and Steel....You proved that you are worthy of our respect...You put up an excellent battle...Nobody likes a good fight better than us... perhaps we will meet on the battlefield again sometime..... DH : The reason why we came here in the first place is to get our hands on Carnage and Lord Plunder....Well Plunder....you lucked out...you didn't have to face us...But we didn't forget what happened at Grapplemania...Not by a long shot....So now we're going to make sure you don't get the TWIW Tag Titles the way you stole those titles from us....This is one day you're never going to for...This is.... Together: Judgement Day.... Wince: Wow, that's a surprise! DeMandable: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Magilla: That's wasn't nice! DeMandable: What makes you say that I had any part? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Magilla: While he calms himself, we go to an interview with the opponents of Carnage, DeMandable's favorite Annihilaton Alliance. <Roll Tape> (Camera opens to a locker room. Bwana "The Great White Hunter" is here flanked on either side by the members of the Annihilation Alliance.) Bwana: Listen up, Garbage! We know all about you, from being in the UeWF, may it rest in peace, together. I even freely admit that we may have under- estimated you during our first meeting, but like all good things your luck is about to come to an end. GR: : My collection of corpses is now overflowing thanks to the additition of the once great, and now late Klingons. But fear not, carnage for I will always be willing to make room for two more. My shovel is sharpened and I am eagar to once again stick it within the putrifying flesh of the deceased. Rest in pieces Carnage. Assailant: We're gonna beat you till you're begging for mercy, and then you know what? We're gonna beat you some more. I hope that no off duty cops are going to be around for this match, because what we do to you chumps is gonna be a crime. Bwana: And as for you Plunder, if you dare lay your unworthy hands upon me, then I assure you you'll be in for a real nasty surprise. Hell even if you don't lay hands on me you'll be in for it. I know you and you know us so chances are that you'll be digging deep into that book of dirty tricks but I say why don't we just keep this one clean and fight it out fair and square. Trust us. Lets go.... (they leave, end tape) Magilla: Crash, Burn and Lord Plunder have made it to ringside. Wince: What's Burn doing? DeMandable: He's coming over here! <Burn slams Wince's head into the table> Wince: AAAAAAAArgh!!!!! Burn: That's for botching our names on the bracket sheets and for poor journalistic integrity! <Burn slams the ringbell into Wince's unconcious head> Magilla: What's goin' on here? Burn: That's just because I felt like it! Magilla: I can't believe it! He hit an announcer for poor commentary! DeMandable: You didn't see them coming after me, did you? Magilla: All 3 men are standing in the ring waiting. Plunder grabs the microphone. Plunder: Where are you, you cowards? Afraid of crashing and burning against a true tag team that knows no fear? Magilla: All 3 men are going back to the locker room! DeMandable: Wait! Who are those guys at ringside in trenchcoats? Magilla: They're climbing over the railing! DeMandable: It's the Graverobber and the Unknown Assaialant! Magilla: They've got chairs, and they pearl harbor Crash and Burn! DeMandable: I love it! Magilla: Bwana comes out, and starts kicking the downed Lord Plunder! DeMandable: I can't believe it! This is great! Magilla: A host of jobbers come out from the locker room! DeMandable: What're the jobbers doing here? They don't wrestle tonight! Magilla: Whatever the case may be, they separate the men, and get them to ringside. DeMandable: It looks like the Annihilation Alliance will start off with a definite advantage tonight! Magilla: I just feel sorry for the ref! DeMandable: Why? He's just there to count pins! Magilla: It looks like Crash is the less hurt of the two, and will start against the GraveRobber! DeMandable: The GraveRobber charges and pounds Crash with a doublefisted strike! He's wasting no time! Magilla: Big bodyslam by the GraveRobber, and he goes for a cover! DeMandable: 1-2-kickout! Magilla: The GraveRobber throw Crash into the robpes... DeMandable: He telegraphs a backbody drop... Magilla: Neckbreaker by Crash! He's not out of this fight! DeMandable: I don't think I've ever seen a backbody drop work! Magilla: Irish Whip by Crash into a hostile turbuckle. DeMandable: Burn starts choking the GraveRobber with the tag strap! Magilla: Crash charges with a big elbow! DeMandable: Ya know, that's another move I don't see working too often. Magilla: Crash tags burn, who climbs to the top turnbuckle, grabs the head of the the GraveRobber and leaps outside the ring! DeMandable: Devastating move! The GraveRobber can only clutch his throat! Magilla: Lord Plunder is on the apron distracting the ref... What are they up to? DeMandable: Burn is asking a fan for his chair! Magilla: But the fan clubs him with it! That's not an ordinary fan! DeMandable: You're right it's not, that's Eddie Awesome wearing sunglasses and a trenchcoat! I can't believe Burn didn't know that! Magilla: Be that as it may, Crash has grabbed the Graverobber's shovel from under the ring and is proceeding to pound away at Eddie Awesome! DeMandable: Now THIS is a wrestling match! Magilla: Burn has made it back to the ring by the 8 count and proceeds to the top rope! DeMandable: Doesn't he realize that GraveRobber has had time to recoup? Magilla: The Graverobber makes it to his feet in deceptively fast time, and he throws Burn all the way across the ring. DeMandable: Crash meanwhile has the shovel over one shoulder and Eddie Awesome over the other! Magilla: Bwana makes a move for him, but Lord Plunder meets him with a running shoulder tackle! DeMandable: Back in the ring, the GraveRobber tags in the UnKkown Assailant. Magilla: The masked monster picks ups Burn and powerbombs him! DeMandable: Instead of going for the cover, he starts playing with his mask. Magilla: He picks up Burn, and throws him against the ropes. Then he bounces against the ropes himself. DeMandable: Flying headbutt by the Unknown Assailant! Magilla: But Burn fell to his stomach, and the Unknown Assailant flies between the ropes and onto the concrete floor. DeMandable: We'll have you know that TWIW does not have pads outside the ring. Magilla: Burn goes to his corner, but nobody's there! DeMandable: Here he comes! Magilla: No! It's Aries Prime and the Dark Horse! DeMandable: Bwana shoots a blowgun dart, and the ref crumples unconcious! Magilla: Lord Plunder enters the ring with a chair! DeMandable: All hell has broken loose here, as Aries Prime and the Dark Horse enter the ring with shovels of their own! Magilla: It's 5 on 2 as Prime, the Dark Horse, Bwana, the Unknown Assailant and the GraveRobber pummel Lord Plunder and Burn! DeMandable: Plunder's chair is of no help here! Magilla: The Dark Horse and Aries Prime lift up Burn! DeMandable: Top rope DDT on Burn! Magilla: Meanwhile, The Unknown Assailant and the Graverobber trade legdrops on Lord Plunder. DeMandable: Here comes Crash with the shovel! Magilla: He's in the ring in no-time flat! DeMandable: Wham! The Dark horse is out like a ton of bricks! Magilla: Aries Prime charges and meets the same fate! DeMandable: Plunder and the Annihilation Alliance head for higher ground! Magilla: Crash is the only one standing in the ring as the ref awakens! DeMandable: This is excitement at it's finest! The ham 'n eggers don't know who to cheer for! Magilla: The ref takes away the shovel, and sends the Dark Horse and Aries prime back on their wobbley way... DeMandable: The damage is already done! Plunder and Burn barely know what's going on, and it's Crash against the GraveRobber. Magilla: The GraveRobber goes for a big right, but Crash blocks it and throws a firemans carry takedown. DeMandable: I didn't think he knew any technical moves! Magilla: Crash picks up the Graverobber only to level him with a massive suplex! What technicque from this legendary brawler! DeMandable: Crash picks him up again, DDT! Magilla: This should be it! DeMandable: 1! Magilla: 2! DeMandable: Kickout by the Graverobber! Magilla: Crash can't believe it! DeMandable Bwana and Plunder have started fighting again at ringside! Magilla: Crash flips the Graverobber, and bounces off the ropes! DeMandable: Big legdrop to the back of the head! Magilla: Crash flips his opponent, and now he's going to the top rope! DeMandable: This isn't characteristic of him! Magilla: If Burn were in better shape, maybe he'd tag him in. DeMandable: Wait a sec, Burn just leaped off the apron to flying headbutt Bwana! Magilla: Incredible flying splash by Crash! DeMandable: Bwana's out cold at ringside! Magilla: Who's that at ringside? DeMandable: Wow, who is she? Magilla: Some incredibbly leggy blonde wearing only a leopardskin bikini has climbed over the barrier! DeMandable: She must be coming for me! Magilla: Whoever she is, she's distracted Crash! DeMandable: He should finish the match first, but WOW, she is beautiful. Magilla: The GraveRobber has made it over to tag while that woman has captured Crash's attention. DeMandable: Hold everything! The Unknown Assailant has just grabbed Crash from behind, and levels him with a headbutt to the back of the head! Magilla: He covers! DeMandable: 1! Burns climbs the top turnbuckle! Magilla: 2! Wait, that woman climbs up and pushes him off! DeMandable: 3! The Annihilation Alliance wins, as I called it! Magilla: But who is this woman? DeMandable: I dunno, hopefully my wife! Magilla: Plunder has had enough, and he powerbombs the downed Bwana outside the ring! DeMandable: Not a smooth move, as the GraveRobber and the Unknown Assailant rush to save their manager! Magilla: Plunder goes for a chair, but not in time to avoid a double clothesline! DeMandable: Now they're taking their manager and that bodacious babe away! Magilla: Carnage and their manager are left to wonder what happened. DeMandable: They got stomped is what happened. Magilla: That's what you say. I saw it as a 7 on 3 match with Plunder, Crash and Burn taking on Bwana, the Graverobber, the Unknown Assailant, Aries Prime, the Dark Horse, and that mysterious lady. DeMandable: I'm outta here! I've got to find her! Magilla: And it looks like Wince is waking up just in time for our next match. Wince: Ouch my head hurts! Did I miss much? Magilla: Not much at all. Wince: It looks like the Addams Foundation is coming to ringside first! Magilla: The fans are snapping along to their theme song. Wince: They are proudly displaying their IWF tag team belts. Magilla: It will be interesting to see how Flint & Steel try to cope with this combination of speed and power. Wince: Indeed, neither can match the power of Lurch, nor the speed of Gomez. Magilla: You can't count Flint & Steel out though, they are a veteran team that has beaten many a tough contender. Wince: Here they come, and they look very confident! Magilla: You can be their manager has something in plan for them! Wince: Lurch, Gomez, Fester and Morticia are at one side of the ring as Flint, Steel and Molly McGuire enter the other. Magilla: Look at the intensity in all their eyes! Wince: Flint and Steel hand their hats and belts to Molly, and it looks like Flint will stat. Magilla: Lurch will start opposite him for the Addams foundation. Wince: Lurch offers a test of strength, but the WeWF champion will have no part and ducks under. He goes for a roll up, but Lurch won't move. Magilla: Mike Flint seems taken aback, but regains his composure and goes back to face Lurch. Wince: Lurch grabs Flint and throws him into the ropes. Magilla: He looks for a clothesline, but Flint ducks under again, and goes for a belly to back suplex! Wince: Once again Lurch doesn't budge! Magilla: Lurch turns into him, and Flint goes for a bodyslam! Wince: Lurch still doesn't budge! Magilla: Lurch hurls Flint into a neutral corner! Wince: Flint comes out and offers a test of strength! Magilla: What's he doing? Wince: Lurch accepts, but Flint dives between Lurch's legs! Magilla: He tags in Frank Steel, and they double Russian Leg Sweep Lurch before he can turn around! Wince: The crowd is on their feet! They're bringing the roof down! Magilla: Gomez charges the ring, but Flint and Steel double shoulder tackle him over the top rope! Wince: The roar is deafaning as the crowd gets behind their team! Magilla: Flint exits the ring, and Steel puts Lurch in the Boston Crab! Wince: Good strategy! Attack a big man's legs, and he cant walk. Magilla: Lurch straightens his legs out, and Steel hits the canvas! Wince: Lurch crawls to his corner and tags in Gomez. Magilla: Gomez is a ball of fire! He dropkicks Steel as the man rises. Wince: The he slaps Flint for good measure! Magilla: That brings Flint in, and draws the ref's attention away. Wince: Fester hops into the ring and clubs Steel with the shovel. Magilla: He's out of the ring before the ref can see! Wince: It's really 3 on 2 in there! Magilla: Gomez climbs to the top rope for a high risk move! Wince: Flint shakes the ringropes, and Gomez crotches himself! Magilla: Flints is screaming at Steel to make the tag! Wince: Gomez tags Lurch, who starts lumbering over! Magilla: Steel tags "Irish" Mike Flint who charges Lurch! Wince: The WeWF world champion looks like a man possessed! Magilla: He lifts Lurch and drops him on his knee! Wince: I didn't think he could do it! Magilla: His knee apparently didn't either, as he favors it a bit. Wince: He drops a quick eblow on Lurch, adding more punishment! Magilla: Flint bounces into the ropes, Wince: But Fester trips him! Magilla: The ref didn't see it! Wince: This gives Lurch time to reach his feet! Magilla: Flint turns and gives Fester a right that sends him sprawling! Wince: This gives Lurch the opportunity to club Flint from behind! Magilla: Lurch tosses Flint into the ropes and decks him with a clothesline. Wince: He tags in Gomez, who aparently has regained his masculinity. Magilla: Look at Lurch, he's favoring his back! That slam must have hurt bad! Wince: Inside the ring, Gomez is going to work on Flint! Magilla: He Irish Whips Mike Flint into the corner, and pulls him out with a Monkey Flip! Wince: Flint makes it back to his feet, but Gomez knocks him down with a dropkick! Magilla: Flint is up again, and Gomez hurls him with an arm drag! Wince: Flint gets up a bit slower this time, and Gomez puts him in a front headlock. Magilla: Flint goes to block the DDT, so Gomez hits him with a Gordbuster that would do Arn Anderson proud! Wince: Gomez climbs to the second rope. Magilla: I guess he's less likely to fall this way! Wince: Flying elbow onto Irish Mike Flint. Magilla: Flint is out cold! He's had to fight most of this match, and he's taken a load of abuse! Wince: Gomez is starting to look winded too. He picks up Flint and Irish Whips him into a neutral corner! Magilla: Gomez looks like he's setting up a stinger splash, but he's waiting. Wince: Fester is making moves towards Flint with the Shovel as Morticia distracts the ref! Magilla: Fester swings, but Molly McGuire slips Flints hard hat on! Wince: The gong echo's throught the arena as the hard hat cracks in half! Magilla: What's that rumble? Wince: I think it's Lurch talking! Lurch: You rang? Wince: Either way, the vibrations are shaking Fester's hands like crazy, and the hit seems to have woken up Flint! Magilla: Gomez goes for the splash, but Flint has time to climb to the second turnbuckle and he connects with a sunset flip! Wince: The ref counts! Magilla: 1! Wince: Lurch climbs over the top rope! Magilla: 2! Wince: Steel goes in to meet him! Magilla: 3! Wince: Lurch launches Steel into the 6th row! Magilla: He's too late to break up the pin, though. Wince: Incredible match! Magilla: Indeed, as it's Flint and Steel who advance to the finals to meet the Annihilation Alliance. Wince: Flint goes outside the ring to help Steel, and they both embrace their manager! Magilla: The finals should prove to be an exciting match indeed! Wince: We are being rejoined by Mark DeMandable. Magilla: Did you find out who she was? DeMandable: Of course I did! Magilla: And who is she? DeMandable: I'm not telling! Wince: You didn't meet her did you? DeMandable: Shuttup you spudhead, if I said I met her, it means that she's already been drooling all over me! Magilla: Back to business, who do you two pick in the finals? DeMandable: I've stood behind the Annihilation Alliance all the way, and I still think they have what it takes. Wince: I'll put my money on the Hoosiers. DeMandable: The Hoosiers aren't in it you yokel! Wince: Oh, that's right, I'll have to pick Flint and Steel then. Magilla: I have to go with Flint and Steel too. They beat 3 very impressive teams to date, and I don't see them slowing down one bit. DeMandable: You would pick them, wouldn't you? Magilla: We've also just received word of a mystery guest announcer for the finals to be shown Thursday or Friday. DeMandable: Who? Magilla: I'm not telling! It wouldn't be a mystery if I told, would it? Wince: Until then, this is Wince McLady, Magilla: And I'm Magilla Mongoose, DeMandable: and I'm majorly pissed, so beat it! Magilla: And we'll see you Thursday or Friday, whenever the editor gets off his tail! Up