TTTTTT Round 2! From: Michael Rosen <mirrosen@silver.ucs.indiana.edu> Date: Tue, 24 Mar 1992 09:33:17 +0000 *********************TWIW TV TAG TEAM TITLE TOURNAMENT********************** Round 1 Magilla: This is Magilla Mongoose, Wince: I'm Wince McLady, DeMandable: And I'm Mark DeMandable! Magilla: We're here with Round TWO of the TWIW TV TAG TEAM TITLE TOURNAMENT! DeMandable: That's TTTTTT for you ham and eggers out there who don't have the memory capacity to understand such a big title! Magilla: Let's look at the matchups... Carnage vs. Steele/Pruitt Annhillation Alliance vs. Klingons Judgement Day vs. Flint & Steel Adams Foundation vs. Dogs of War Magilla: The field is down to 8. Who do you guys seeing advancing? Wince: I see Steele and Pruitt beating Carnage, TNT enterprises really does dominate the sport. Magilla: I'll agree with you there Wince, how about you DeMandable? DeMandable: Well, I was unlucky enough to interview the two bums and here's what they had to say... [Role Tape] DeMandable: I'm here with three very lucky gentlemen, Ace Diamond and his team of Pencil-neck Pruitt and Blue-balls Steele. So, boys, would you care to tell me how you're going to react to Carnage? After all, good luck doesn't last forever. Pruitt: Demandable, shut up and listen good for a change. We beat The Law fair and square, 1-2-3 in the center of the ring, but now everyone's like, "Oh, gee. TNT scored a fluke victory. They'll never beat Carnage now!" Well, all the nay-sayers, especially you, Marky Mark, are gonna learn that TNT never says die. Diamond: DeMandable, I don't think you wanna continue this interview. At least, I'm pretty sure you wanna see the light of day tomorrow morning. DeMandable: No, no, no. I haven't heard Blue-balls yet. So, Steeley, how are you going to handle some REAL wrestling? [At this point, Steele grabs DeMandable by the throat, lifts him up, and throws him to the ground.] [fade out] Wince: This should prove to be an excellent matchup! Magilla: Let's here what their opponents have to say! [Roll Tape] Lord Plunder: "Greetings, lesser ones. My team of Carnage is in bit of a bad mood; they wanted to compete in both brackets of the tourney and have the opportunity to put twice as many teams out of e-wrestling forever, but that has been denied them..." Crash: "So we're just gonna trash the teams we do fight twice as fast! Who's first in line?" Plunder: "Some more of Ace Diamond's fighting slaves, I believe." Burn: "Yeah! We enjoyed trashing the FoD over and over again in the UeWF, and now we're gonna do the same to these geeks!" Crash: "This Steele guy might be pretty good, since he's got an Intercontinental belt - but me and Burn got two of them! We're gonna give you a pasting you'll never forget, putz, and unleash a little Carnage on the both of you..." Burn: "But remember - there's no such thing as a LITTLE Carnage!" Plunder: "Indeed! And Addams Foundation, we'll be coming for your belts, too..." [End Tape] Wince: These guys mean business! Magilla: What do you two think about the Annhillation and the Klingons? Wince: I'd like to go with the veteran Klin... DeMandable: You heard it here first, the Alliance are gonna win it all. Magilla: I have to concur wiith Wince, although I do admit that the Alliance have been very impressive. How about the matchup between Flint & Steel vs. Judgement Day? DeMandable: Judgement Day all the way... Wince: Why? I like Flint & Steel. DeMandable: That's enough reason for me! Magilla: Let's hear some words from Flint & Steel, present WeWF tag team champions. [Roll Tape] Flint: Well, sports fans, the first round of the the TWIW tag team tournament is over, and some of the wheat has been separated from the chaff. This round as they say, we seperate the men from the boys. Well, boys, and I do mean you Judgement Day, we've never wrestled each other but we got you well scouted and boys you're going to be whats from the men who advance to the third round. Steel: They told us coming into this tournament, that this was going to be the biggest, the baddest, the roughest, and the toughest tag teams competing for the TWIW title, well I haven't even broken a sweat, Judgement Day I hope you're ready 'cause you got 275 pounds of Steel coming down on you. Molly: Well Gentlemen, this is a big match, don't look past it. Frank, don't worry, I've seen Judgament Day work and you will get a chance to get in the ring this round. We can't let Mickey have all of the fun. Like I said, Judgement Day, you're good but not good enough and today is your Judgement Day. [End Tape] Magilla: And what aabout the last match featuring the Adams Foundation and the Dogs of War? Wince: I'll go with the impressive Addams foundation, Lurch is a machine! DeMandable: I'll go with the Dogs of War, they have a winning attitude. Magilla: I'll have to agree with Wince, the Addams Foundation do make up the IWF tag team champions. Wince: Lets get to the action... Magilla: We have Blue Steele and Powerhouse Pruitt waiting in the ring with their manager Ace Diamond. Announcer: ...and their opponents <Born to be Wild starts up, to boos from the crowd of e-marks>, hailing from Highway 61 and weighing in at a combined weigh of 511 pounds... here are the UeWF InterContinental Tag Team Champions, CARNAGE!" DeMandable: They storm the ring, and it's 3 on 3! Magilla: Crash and Burn are smashing Steele and Pruitt with their belts and Lord Blunder just broke his jewelled walking stick over Diamond's head! DeMandable: I love it! Their showing Steele what a real belt looks like! Wince: Here comes Cannonball Calhoun from the dressing room with a chair! DeMandable: He doesn't belong here! Magilla: He clears out the ring in a second! Wince: He's helping an injured Ace Diamond back to the dressing room. Magilla: It's gonna be Crash and Powerhouse Pruitt starting it off in the center of the ring! Wince: They start trading big forearms in the center of the ring. I can tell already that we won't see too much wrestling here! DeMandable: Like these guys know how to wrestle? Wince: Pruitt puts Crash in a headlock and tags to Steele. Magilla: Steele climbs to the top rope and lands and axe handle on Crash's midsection. Quick cover! Wince: Only a 1 count, and Steele picks Crash up. Magilla: Running powerslam into another cover! Wince: This time Burn breaks it up with an elbow to Steele! Magilla: Crash regains his composure, and picks up Steele, Stun Gun by Crash! Wince: A quick tag to Burn, who bounces off the ropes. Big splash!!! Magilla: But Steele got his knees up! He tags to Pruitt! Wince: Pruitt suplexes his much lighter oponent! Burn's high risk move really cost him! DeMandable: You guys aren't letting me get a word in edgewise! Burn knows no pain! Magilla: Pruitt bounces off the ropes, and lands a big leg drop on Burn. DeMandable: Who's this guy think he is? Steroid Hogan? Magilla: Cover! 1, 2,.. DeMandable: Kickout, this ain't the WWF! Magilla: Pruitt is surprised, he tags in Steele who picks Burn up again. He hoists him onto the top turnbuckle. SUPERPLEX by the FWF Inter-Continental champion! Wince: Cover, but too close to the ropes, and Lord Plunder places Burns foot on the rope! DeMandable: Brilliant move! Magilla: Blatant interference. DeMandable: Steele grabs Plunder giving Burn the time to tag! Magilla: Crash lands a double fisted blow to the back of Steele! Wince: Here comes Cannonball Calhoun! DeMandable: Plunder sees him coming and gives him a knee to the midsection. Wince: Lord Plunder is a capable wrestler but not of the level of Calhoun, who slaps him with a DDT! DeMandable: Even without their manager, Crash is stomping away at Steele. Wince: Plunder is being carried away by Calhoun! DeMandable: Meanwhile, Crash leaves Steele dangling on the ropes, while he berates the ref! Magilla: Fireball by Burn while the ref's back is turned! DeMandable: Steele is in agony as Crash hoists him high in the air. Magilla: He's coming over here! DeMandable: I'm getting out of here! Wince: Crash has just thrown Steele onto the table right in front of us! DeMandable: Burn is on the top turnbuckle! Magilla: Flying Headbutt by Burn onto Steele, and the table crashes to the ground. Wince: That was an insane move! Both men are out cold! Magilla: The ref counts. 1! 2! Wince: Pruitt runs into the ring and clotheslines Crash from behind. DeMandable: That was brave. Wince: The count is at 5 as Pruitt goes outside the ring to help Steele. DeMandable: He helps him up at 9! Wince: 10! Burn and Steele are counted out! DeMandable: No! It's only Steele! Crash was the legal man! Magilla: You are right, the ref raises Crash's hand, and Carnage moves on to face the winner of the upcoming bout between the Klingons and the Annihiltion Alliance! DeMandable: Phaser and Disrupter come to the ring, looking as dorky as ever... And doesn't Chekov look nice too! Wince: They are a legendary team, I don't see how you can poke fun at them! Together they've accomplished almost every major feat in wrestling! DeMandable: And here comes a real team, the Annihilation Alliance! Wince: They enter the ring a little more calmly this time, possibly in respect to their oposition. DeMandable: Wince, I think I hear a phone calling for you! Wince: Really? Magilla: It looks like the Unknown Assailant will start against Phaser! DeMandable: They are squaring off. I see fear in Phaser's eyes! Magilla: Collar-and-elbow tie up, as both men test each other's strength. DeMandable: Head and Arm throw by Phaser, and he goes for a quick cover. Magilla: But the Assailant grabs the tights and rolls him into a cover of his own! DeMandable: Phaser's into the ropes, and the ref starts them both on their feet. Magilla: Another collar-and-elbow tieup. Headbutt by Phaser! DeMandable: Neither man is phased, forgive the pun! Magilla: Phaser looks in disbelief, and the Unknown Assailant runs him over with a short clothesline. DeMandable: Now he goes to town. He lifts the massive Klingon and bodyslams him hard to the mat. Now he tags the Grave Robber! Magilla: The GraveRobber, not known for his technique, starts off with kick the fallen Phasers groin! DeMandable: That was midsection, you biased clown! Magilla: He follows with a series of illegal 4 count chokes! DeMandable: They're only illegal if he doesn't break them on five! Magilla: The Grave Robber signals for the torture rack! DeMandable: Hit it! Hit it! Magilla: Phaser blocks it, and powerslams the enormous GraveRobber. DeMandable: He's hurt, can he make the tag? Magilla: The Graverobber goes to block him off, but Phaser lunges and makes the tag. DeMandable: The Graverobber rushes Disrupter, who backbody drops him over the top rope! Magilla: The Unknown Assailant comes in, but is clotheslined over the top rope too! The crowd is on their feet. DeMandable: I hope they'd shut up! There's a match going on! Magilla: Bwana talks to his men, and the GraveRobber enters the ring. He puts a hand out to disrupter. What a crock! DeMandable: It's in friendship. Some people have sportsmanship Mongoose! Magilla: Disrupter accepts it, and gets a kick in the groin for his trust! DeMandable: Fell for the oldest trick in the book! Magilla: A rake of the eyes, and he tags the Unknown Assailant. DeMandable: The Graverobber puts Disrupter in a bearhug, while the Assailant hits him with a flying Clothesline! Magilla: What's Bwana doing? DeMandable: He's distracting the ref! Magilla: Here comes Eddie Awesome to ringside, who flies into Chekov with a big knee! DeMandable: There's mayhem here, I love it! Magilla: Phaser goes to save Chekov by leaping off of the apron and slamming into Awesome with a big knee. DeMandable: Stupid move, as the Annihilation Assliance get a chance for another double team! Magilla: The Unknown Assailant atmoic kneedrops Disrupter, and The Graverobber runs him down with a flying shoulder tackle! DeMandable: Phaser meanwhile is powerslamming Bwana outside of the ring! He's a manager for godsake, that's uncalled for! Magilla: The ref gets time to turn and count! DeMandable: 1-2-3!!!! I knew it! These guys have what it takes to win the whole thing! Magilla: I don't know about that, they had to cheat both times! DeMandable: If they had cheated, the ref would've DQ'd 'em. Magilla: Come one, when have you ever seen a TWIW match end in a DQ? DeMandable: Well, maybe in favor of the saps once or twice. Magilla: I'm really looking forward to our next match. DeMandable: Flint and Steel vs. Judgement Day? What's exciting about this, other than the opportunity to see those too union patronising bums get their heads knocked in! Magilla: They are WeWF champs you know. DeMandable: Anybody that's willing to have a manager with green hair is not playing with a full deck! Magilla: That was a stipulation from a match, not from personal choice! DeMandable: So? Magilla: Anyways, Flint and Steel are making their way to the ring to an enormous ovation of the fans. DeMandable: You think the fans are actually digging McGuires hair? Magilla: I think it's in deference to their enormous success in the ring. DeMandable: And here comes Judgement day, to mixed reviews form the fans! At least I'll have someone to kinda root for. Magilla: I wonder if their music is significant to anything... DeMandable: It's called "You Could Be Mine" by Guns 'n Roses, you're listening to too much Lawrence Welk, Mongoose. Magilla: Look at the size of Aries Prime as he comes to ringside! DeMandable: Dark Horse is no small potatoes either. I'd like to meet his barber! Magilla: It looks like Dark Horse will start against the WeWF champion "Irish" Mike Flint! DeMandable: The only thing Irish about him is the alcohol on his breath! Magilla: Headlock by Flint. DeMandable: Quick Atomic Knee Drop by Dark Horse, followed by a crescent kick to the back of Flint's head! Magilla: Dark Horse tags to Aries Prime, and slingshots him against the opposite ropes. DeMandable: Big Splash by Aries Prime! This could be over as quick as Flint & Steel's last match! Magilla: The ref counts 1! DeMandable: 2! Magilla: Kick out! After that 350 pound splash, I can't believe it! I guess that's why he's the WeWF world champion. DeMandable: Aries Prime picks Flint up into an overhead press and starts walking around the ring! Magilla: He goes to throw him to where our table used to be, and Flint goes crashing to the mat! DeMandable: And that green haired bimbo helps Flint back into the ring. Magilla: Prime grabs Flint and suplex's him in the hard way! DeMandable: He tags in Aries Prime, and they throw Flint against the ropes. They're going for a double clothesline, but Flint ducks! Magilla: He tags Steel, and they double shoulder tackle Prime and the Dark Horse! The crowd is on their feet as Judgement Day goes outside the ring to regroup! DeMandable: It's now The Dark Horse against Frank Steel! Magilla: Duck-under by the Dark Horse, and he grabs Steel by the trapesies muscle. DeMandable: A jobber move made legendary by Mr. Fuji and the Somoans! Magilla: Steel reaches back between his legs and grabs the Dark Horse's leg, pulling him down. He turns it into a spinning toe hold! DeMandable: He tags to Flint who comes in and reapplies the same hold! Magilla: They are really working over the leg! DeMandable: Flint tags Steel and holds on to the leg. Magilla: Top rope knee drop onto the outstreched leg! The Dark Horse is in anquish! DeMandable: Steel puts on the Spinning Toe Hold again! Magilla: A karate shot by the Dark Horse, and he's free! He crawls over to tag Aries Prime! DeMandable: Aries Prime Irish Whips Steel into a neutral corner! Magilla: The Dark Horse then Irish Whips Aries Prime into the same corner! What a massive avalanche. DeMandable: And what a rush job on the Dark Horse's leg healing up! Magilla: Aries Prime throws Steel into the ropes for a BIG powerslam! DeMandable: This match has been all in the favor of Judgement Day! Some tag team champions these punks are turning out to be! Magilla: Aries Prime tags his partner, and then holds Steel's arms behind his back. DeMandable: The Dark Horse climbs to the top rope! Flying Axe Handle! Magilla: But Steel moves out of the way, and Aries Prime gets tagged hard! DeMandable: The Dark Horse can only stare as Aries Prime flies backward and tumbles over the top rope. Magilla: Steel tags Flint, and Irish Whips him towards the Dark Horse! DeMandable: Flying Tackle by Flint! He covers! Magilla: 1! DeMandable: 2! Magilla: 3! They win their second match in a row! DeMandable: I have to give credit where credit is due, they did come back from a lot of adversity, but I can't see them coming back and beating either the Addams Foundation of the Dogs of War. Magilla: Imagine if the Addams Foundation won! It would be two World Championship teams in head on competition! DeMandable: Like the IWF is a real federation anyways! Magilla: Who knows, they may be the only one to last through the summer. DeMandable: Hear comes the Addams foundation now! Magilla: Is that the HBO theme song I hear? DeMandable: No you idiot, it's the Addams Family theme song! Magilla: As is usual, their mixed group of fans are snapping along. DeMandable: What a motley group! Magilla: Indeed, not only to the Dogs of War have to contend with Gomez and Lurch, but Morticia and Fester as well. DeMandable: Yes, but Death and Destrction will have Cain and Steelgrave at ringside with them. Magilla: What's this song? DeMandable: It's "Dogs of War" by Pink Floyd you old foggie! And here come the Dogs of War, Death and Destruction! Magilla: Look at Destruction's Mohawk! DeMandable: I bet you're envious Mongoose! At least he has some hair on the top of his head too! Magilla: It looks like Lurch will start against Death, in a match up of two great big men! DeMandable: Lurch offers a test of strength... This should prove interesting. Magilla: Death accepts, but is immediatly backed into a neutral corner. DeMandable: Lurch hoists Death onto the turnbuckle, I can't believe it! Magilla: Lurch taps his head, and turns to tag Gomez! What intimidation! DeMandable: Death does not get intimidated! He flying clotheslines Lurch from behind! These guys are showing intensity that I didn't know they had! Magilla: Lurch made a fatal error, as Death rams his head to the mat. DeMandable: Death tags in Destruction, who nails Gomez with a power forearm, knocking him off the apron! Magilla: Lurch still isn't up, and Destruction drops a quick elbow on his head! DeMandable: Destruction climbs to the second rope, and waits. Magilla: He knows that he can't take Lurch strength to strength, and is biding his time. DeMandable: Lurch gets to his feet, and Destruction leaps with a flying karate chop sending Lurch across the ring. Magilla: Destruction goes for a suplex. DeMandable: Big mistake, and Lurch pounds him with a big forearm! Magilla: He reaches over to tag Gomez who runs in and delivers a quick kick to the midsection! He throws Destruction into the ropes, and Fester nails Destruction with a shovel! DeMandable: Steelgrave is incensed on the outside of the ring! Magilla: That may be the case, but Gomez is going to work on Destruction with a reverse chinlock that looks dangerously close to a choke! DeMandable: Steelgrave approaches Fester outside the ring, and Fester nails him with the shovel! Magilla: It has no effect on the Living Machine, who puts the 300 pound Fester in a choke and lifts him off the ground! DeMandable: Look at Morticia! She doesn't know what to do! Magilla: Steelgrave is carrying Fester back to the locker room, and Morticia follows, with no idea what to do! DeMandable: Back in the ring, Gomez is taking advantage of the lucky break, and bounces Destruction off the ropes. Magilla: He goes for a back body drop. DeMandable: He telegraphs the move, and Destruction grabs the head, and a leg. He hits a Cradle Superplex that would do Mr. Perfect proud! Magilla: That's his big finisher, but Lurch climbs over the top rope and plants a size 19 in Destruction's midsection! DeMandable: That gives Gomez the time to make the tag, another lucky break for him. Magilla: Lurch enters the ring, and Death sensing the danger enters for a double team! DeMandable: Double Noggin Knocker by lurch, and Death flies out of the ring! Maagilla: Can climbs the ring apron, and Lurch clubs him with a big Clothesline! DeMandable: Lurch tags Gomez, who climbs on top of his shoulders. Magilla: Flying Legdrop! We've never seen this out of them before! DeMandable: The ref counts! Magilla: 1 - 2 - 3!!!!! The IWF champions win and advance to the next round! DeMandable: A quick count if I ever saw one. Magilla: This makes the semifinals: Carnage vs. Annihilation Alliance Flint and Steel vs. Addams Foundation DeMandable: Whoever wins the upper bracket will win the whole thing, and I have Annihilation Alliance winning their bracket. Magilla: I see it the other way around. Whichever champion wins the lower bracket will win the whole thing. I prefer Flint and Steel. Wince: Well, I'm back, and I disagree. Lurch and Gomez have proven unstoppable. Magilla: We will see, hopefully by Wednesday evening who gets into the finals. Wince: Until then, this is Wince McLady Magilla: Magilla Mongoose DeMandable: and Mark DeMandable Wince: Saying so long DeMandable: and Get lost! Up