Olympia Times g1-1 From: olympia@pbm.com (Olympia PBEM) Date: Thu, 30 Jun 1994 02:31:52 +0000 +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ | The Olympia Times times@pbm.com | | June 29, 1994 issue g1-1 | | | | turn 1 94 players "Banned on Compuserve" | +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ Questions, comments, to play: info@pbm.com Olympia PBEM * * * On your midnight pallet lying, Listen, and undo the door: Lads that waste the light in sighing In the dark should sigh no more; Night should ease a lover's sorrow; Therefore, since I go to-morrow, Pity me before. In the land to which I travel, The far dwelling, let me say -- Once, if here the couch is gravel, In a kinder bed I lay, And the breast the darnel smothers Rested once upon another's When it was not clay. -- A.E. Housman * * * Summerbridge and Uldim Pass --------------------------- Summerbridge and Uldim Pass are locations which can only be crossed half of the year. Seasonal rains make Summerbridge an impassable bog in the winter. Heavy snowfall blocks travel through Uldim Pass. These locations are passable during months 3-6, inclusive. What if you begin traveling near the end of month 6, but don't arrive until the beginning of month 7? You'll make it across. Credit for Times press ---------------------- Please only name units which already exist on the CREDIT <who> subject line for Times submissions. If you want to give the 25 gold to a character you'll be forming that turn, credit the gold to the unit who will be doing the forming, and have that unit GIVE the gold to the new character. Other PBEM's ------------ Anyone looking for an open-ended empire style space PBEM should check out Conquest & Destiny. They have over 200 players, and got a favorable review in Flagship. Thanks to a cross-promotion with Dan Canham, if you mention my name (Rich Skrenta), Dan will set you up for free. Contact: p00791@psilink.com Rules correction ---------------- The BUY order is incorrectly listed in the rules as having priority 3. It is priority 1. Nixpub and Pdial available -------------------------- Getting good Net access can be tricky. The best deals generally come from small providers who are within your local calling area. Generally Email/Usenet (rec.games.pbm) access can be had for $15-20/month, often much less. These online services generally don't have extra charges once you're online -- no per-message charges for email, for instance. Nixpub and Pdial list hundreds of these sites which offer Net access. You can ftp the lists from: ftp.pbm.com in pub/net-access, or send me a note and I'll email them to you. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Player-contributed press =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Recently overheard at the Singing Duck Tavern in the Imperial City: Q: What makes Oleg the Loudmouth's faction unique? A: He starts with 9 peasants. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Sludge sighed. Sometimes it seemed as it he'd spend his entire life waking up in one new strange place after another. First there'd been that place with the hordes of peasants. And now this. At least this was a city. And an actual market! Someone bumped into Sludge from behind. He turned and saw another person looking around. Abruptly, there seemed to be a large number of people that didn't look as if they belonged here. Sludge sighed. Time to see how he could support himself in this world. Training groups of peasants to be jugglers didn't seem to be a possibility. Ah well, he thought, one way or another, the Skulking Vermin will survive. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Well, young Qwerty has made it to the Big City, the Big Time. It sure is different though from my Step-Father's estate in the Uldimian Hills. So many people, so many questions - what's a boy to do? Or where to go? Or where can I find a good Uldimian Ale? If anyone can answer any of these questions, please contact me. -Qwerty McHinery, Highland Scouts (walt@solgrp.chi.il.us) =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= The Sen Clan exstends greetings to all former ( and hopefully) new associates, and hopes for an enjoyable game. Please contact me at oyvind@jade.ab.ca, if you have any suggestions for co-operation. The Sen Clan =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= The dawn was grey and unclear. Marchesi of the Tytalus woke, alone in his chambers amidst the hustle and bustle of the Imperial City. The inhabitants were clearly, oblivious to the grey fog that had come and gone in the night, leaving as it's only lingering sign Marchesi, and seventy six others, brought in through the interdimensional rifts to the newly fashioned world of Olympia. Grey and unclear indeed. Allies were to be sought, pacts made and broken, skills and spells learned and employed, and Marchesi looked ahead to it with great relish. (Potential allies, potential enemies: Contact georgeh@mit.edu or cw9@g1.pbm.com. I look forward to hearing from you.) =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= The Acme Construction Company is interested in contacting other factions who have similar interests. What are those interests? Exploration, expansion, construction, wealth. Sound familiar? Contact Gonzo Graybeard [p0k]. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Ahoy there Maties! Got the *URGE* to explore? Wanderlust getting to you? You want to see those far off continents but don't have a ship? Worry no more! Contact Ol' Barnacles, Olympia's foremost ship builder. We do roundships, we do gallies, we do anything you want, and at cheap cheap cheap prices too. Why spend money and time learning to build a ship when you can hire a _professional_ to do it for you. Prices are one gold for each man-day it takes to build the ship, plus raw materials. If you help supply the labour then you get a discount. Being a little short on workers at the moment I'm willing to trade you a heavy discount for those hungry peasants that you need to feed. For every worker that you trade, I'll take 50 gold coins off the cost of your ship, and throw in her work for free! For every peasant, well, I'll take 50 gold off the price, but because they need to be trained in the fine workmanship required to build a ship thats all you` will get. So lets look at what _you_ could be getting a nice new roundship or galley for: Roundship: 500 gold. You train ten workers and give them to me, and it's yours for you the cost of the wood! Or maybe four of your would like to get together on the deal. Send the wood and two workers each this way and the ship will be virtually free anyway! Galley: 250 gold. Only two of your need to lend your initial wood supply toward this little project, and what more, later on if you want to get a little more aggressive, you can even add a ram! We will also happily repair ships that might be damage by storm, pirates or shoals. It's a dangerous ocean out there, but rest assured, Ol' Barnacles is the one to keep you safe and dry. Contact Ol' Barnacles at the Imperial City Shipyards today! =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Journal Entry - 1/3/01 It is slowly sinking in - even now, as I write today's date - that we have left the old world completely behind. Gone are the familiar sights, familiar faces, familiar dates. It will take a while to adjust. I should probably give Father enough time to do just that before presenting myself to him. Let me explain. When the great Atnerks made his call to our land, my father was selected to go. He selected a small party of men to accompany him - my brother, our twin cousins, and Commander Nuz. And not me. I argued with him, even pleaded with him, but he would not relent. He can not see beyond my youth, even though Calvin has less than two harvests on me - my cousin's stature is that of a man, while mine is still that of a child. And yet I knew that I must come - aside from Father, no other in the party has any skill in the Art at all, while I am the prize pupil of the Academy. Was the prize pupil, rather; they were not happy to discover my departure either, I suspect. In any event, I convinced one of Father's servants to hide me amongst our possessions, and thus joined the party without being noticed. Now I must simply wait until an opportunity presents itself to show myself to Father. He will be angry, I'm sure, but he will understand - I know that he would have done the same in my place. The light is fading, and a servant should not be seen with a candle - what need has one who can not read for light at night? I suspect that this will be one of the first traditions of the old land to be broken - Father selected his company carefully, recruiting the most talented and loyal of his servants to accompany him, and will not allow them to remain ignorant for long. The old taboos will fall, and the slaves will become free men. The men captured by our old army may find themselves Generals of a new one. The Hand of Chaos has come. Let the tyrant beware. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= The Taira Shipping Co. would like its investors to know that good progress is being made, and our venture looks to be on track. Woe betide them who would interfere! =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Dearest Miyuki, I impatiently count the days until you join me in the Imperial City. What a place it is! Hundreds of men and women from near and far fill the street awaiting the proclamation that the lands have become open for travel! Because of the crowding, it is unlikely that we will find any peasants for hire so I am sending a new acquaintance out to find us some willing workers as soon as he can travel. Hopefully he will return safely as there are rumors of terrible beasts and other dangers in the wilderness. I have investigated the training you desire and, yes, there are fine magic teachers here in the city teaching basic magic as well as gatecraft. You should have no trouble finding someone to teach you the mystic arts here. But due to the overcrowding in the city, it is unlikely that you will find a quiet tower for your study. We will have to investigate a better locale for your studies in the future. When we must again part, I shall be leaving a contingent of pikemen behind to protect you. I've heard that even though fighting is prohibited in the city, crowds of peasants can get unruly at times and I will not feel safe leaving you alone without protection. - Kovaq'nu PS - I've signed you up for combat training in Snowmelt. It will provide a good diversion from your studies. You'll enjoy it! Trust me... =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= The crafty old devil! Bogodon could hardly believe his eyes. He had given up hope of ever getting anything out of his rich relatives and had resigned himself to a life as a labourer in the Imperial City. But there it was, His Uncle Bog had left him 3000 Gold and the staff and contents of an old Lumber Yard! This was going to get him out of this dung heap of a city. Where, he didn't know, but it was good bye and good riddance to the old IC and off to make his fortune. Now, if only he could get his hands on some more lumber and a few peasants... =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= LOOKING FOR A FEW GOOD MEN? For a negotiable fee (in peasants, timber or gold) I will take your raw recruits and raw lumber and turn them into a disciplined fighting force equipped with pikes or crossbows as desired. Contact Altimont@AOL.com to negotiate a contract. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= William of Normandy (s7s) offers his services for making pikes and training pikemen, beginning in month 2. The cost for one pike is one wood to make it plus a fee of either one wood or one peasant or 10 gold. The cost to train a soldier into a pikeman is one soldier and one pike plus a fee of either one wood, one peasant or 10 gold. Training a peasant into a soldier cost one peasant plus the same fee of either one wood, one peasant or 10 gold. Contact William Keyes at 72500.3145@Compuserve.COM for arrangments. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= The regions known as Ossicus, Rimmon, and Tollus are hereby claimed by the alliance known as the Bone Entente. Anyone intruding into these regions will be hunted down and killed, this is the only warning you shall receive regarding this. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Robert of Montain offers safe passage to Aethelarn in by20, leaving day 15 of month 2. He will be leading a group to the city, accompanied by a squad of pikemen for protection. Anyone may join the expedition for a fee of 10 gold. Contact William Keyes at 72500.3145@CompuServe.COM to arrange for passage and permission to stack under Lord Robert of Montain (l8i). =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= A grey mist drifted in from the sea to swirl around the feet of Akmall Benhalla. He is dressed in a simple pilgrim's robe and sandals. His purpose is to bring religion to the unwashed peasants =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Ah..., world domination, finally it is within reach! We have got the allies, we have got the men, the money, the wood, and soon we'll have enough ##### to scare everybody who stands in our way. Now where did I put that membership list? I have got to coordinate all our allies or everything we have planned goes down the drain. Garth! <Garth> Yes master? Where is the membership ship list I asked you about last week? <Garth> I can't find it. Must be somewhere in our warehouse. What warehouse? <Garth> The warehouse we rented to store all the lore we received from our allies. We had to put all those tomes somewhere until the new wing to the library is finished. I'll try to find it right away master. You better find it, our friends in Ossicus asked for more fertiliser you know. <Garth> Yes master! <Garth thinking> Sheesh! Those guys of the Inner Council can't even organise a clay pot party, and they think they can achieve world domination? I bet they don't even know I started the Inner Council of the ######## in the first place. <CENSORED by the Real Power behind the Inner Council of the ########> =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Is it true that _everyone_ is leaving the City as fast as possible? Or is the rumor that a large faction has formed to seize control of the area around the City--and that the idea of breaking a few unassociated noble heads to enforce it is soething they almost look forward to? Time will tell, but smart money is on broken heads. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Hear ye, Hear ye, let it be known throughout the realm that the expeditionary alliance known as "The West Camaris Company" has been issued a royal charter giving them sole rights to the continent of West Camaris. Any interference by other organizations will not be tolerated by the West Camaris Company. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= The Geographic Society is now accepting members. Members are expected to add to the store of knowledge of the organization, and to conduct expeditions and explorations throughout the realms. In return for their information, members are allowed access to the contributions of all other members, as well as given subscriptions to our magazine, "Discoveries." Interested nobles should contact: The Crimson Sage [w0l]. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Explorers/traders/seamen: Let's exchange market information for the various cities we find ourselves in. I might not be able to haul a cargo that you could and vice versa, but we won't know unless we trade info. Contact Clann Dhabaid at thedemon@world.std.com and I'll let you know what I know in exchange for what you know. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Since we've been more-or-less kicked off the PBMGAMES forum on CompuServe, I'd like to suggest that some of us could start using a PBM-oriented BBS. The number is (408) 247-3986, and settings are 8,1,N. The Ringworld BBS supports up to 14,400 baud. I've asked the Sysop to form a board devoted to Olympia, and I'm fairly sure he will. For people on the NET, I would prefer receiving future Email via 'DAZCapn@aol.com'. CIS wants to charge me 15 cents for every piece of Internet Email that comes along....my fellow CISers can reach me at 73474,262 as usual. Tony Baldacci aka Harald Hardrada =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= MAILING LIST FOR DISCUSSION OF OLYMPIA If you want to discuss something across the factions or alliances concerning olympia, you now have the chance to do so without using huge CC-lists. Just subscribe yourself to the Olympia-Discussion List. How to do so? : Send a message containing subscribe Network <your name goes here> in the message body to Majordomo@spectra100.phys.chemie.uni-giessen.de This service is borught to you by the Information Network of Olympia. Signed Marco & Polo =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= The Berbers seek to break free from the confines of Provinia, and are eager to cooperate with others in this task. The wide world awaits exploration. Interested parties may contact Naphu-Ka in Imperial City, or bkennedy@usaid.gov. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Rose perfume is in heavy demand in Hades. (To cover the smell, you know.) Expeditions leaving now from your local graveyard. Be the first to return with enormous profit! =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= ******NEWS FLASH******IMPERIAL CITY****** *******77 TREMENDOUS FLASHES SEEN!******* A flurry of activity has started in the once quiet Imperial City. 77 new Nobles have appeared, in mysterious flashes. There is no obvious explaination for this occurance. Is the Imperial City being invaded? Will the Emperor do anything? Can we make a few fast bucks? Do they like hotdogs? Who will be the 10 lucky peasants? What do the NEW flashes mean? More Nobles? =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= The shadowy figure turned from the glowing crytal orb, wherein danced the image of Imperial City as seen from a great height, with a multitude of small figures madly rushing to and fro. "Those fools think they are the first to trod upon the soil of Olympia, but they have no idea of the depth of their ignorance! Great powers and deep forces are at work here, and the cosmic wheel but turns another turn. Still, they do introduce a new element into the equation, and preparations must be made to welcome them properly!" With a swirl of a cloak and a flash of violet smoke, the figure disappeared, leaving only an evil laugh floating in the still dark air. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Oleg the Loudmouth's Lore Archive is now open for business! Do you have information that you feel is worthless? Are you tired of having to hunt and hunt for simple information? Do you think it's silly to have to sell your soul to some alliance in order to find out elementary information? Never fear, Oleg is here. Here's how the lore archive works: You send me whatever information that you feel is worthless -- say, the skill sheet for [9502] Sailing. You can also ask me for my current collection of lore sheets. No hassles, no worry about where to go, it's one-stop shopping. I don't care if you're a good guy or a bad guy, what you smell like, or if you've contributed. I'll give this lore to anyone. I won't pay for information. The best things in life are free! Send for your copy of the lore archive today. -- Oleg the Loudmouth [b2q] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= As one who has just arrived in Imperial City, I am shocked to discover so many nobles who seem to have amnesia! Should you care to find out more about your life prior to coming here, we would be happy to assist with such research, for a modest fee of course. All inquiries kept confidential. Contact Shirley, at 5 Mac Lane. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Log 1: From the depths of times past, though perils and trials have prevailed, I have made it to the New Land. An ostentatious "Imperial City" stands before me, dripping with corruption and decay. Soon, though, the New Order will cleanse this society of Chaos. After stepping off the boat with my orders, I see that many others are in my same situation: little funds, some wood, and few followers. They amble about, without direction, looking for their destiny. Soon their lives will be fulfilled, one way or the other. The New Order has plans. Many will not survive, but we shall be triumphant. Nobles, take heed. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Greetings fellow Olympians! In the darkness of the rebirth, the new moon rules the land. The Alliance of the New Moon is a group of individualistic factions working together to accomplish goals we cannot accomplish alone. Nor do we intend to remain in the territories of the Emperor any longer than necessary -- we are headed for fresher lands where the moon may wax unchecked. If you represent an alliance interested in speaking with us, or if you think this small band fits your taste, contact the Tytalus (cw9@g1.pbm.com). We look forward to hearing from you. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= *THUMP* "Whazzat, Megger?" "I dunno Ollie, let's go see." The two urchins crept down the alley of the Imperial City, looking for trouble. What they found was a shivering, naked old man, with icicles in his beard. "What happened to him?" "I dunno. He don't look so good." At the sound of human voices, the man lurched upright, babbling Words in their direction. An eddy of wind gathered in the closed, cramp alley, and lightning seemed to join the icicles in the stranger's beard. "AAAAAAAAAHHH!!!" "Run Ollie, RRUUUNNN!!!" The stranger slumped to the ground, and croaked out "The Wanderer..." before falling unconscious again. Very few of the Imperial citizens noticed the lightning above, lightning without thunder. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Don't need your peasants for now? Have more wood than you know what to do with? We are buying peasants and wood, just put in a sell order and we'll take them off your hands for a hefty profit. peasants 20 gold wood 8 gold These prices will not last once we start collecting for ourselves, so take advantage of these once in a life time prices NOW. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Haestra awakens from a troubled sleep with a start. Bright sunlight streams through the window, a clear blue sky belies her murky purposes. Today marks the dawn of a new world, and she must make herself ready. She stands, stretches, opens and closes her fists, throws back her head and breathes deeply as she feels the cold power coursing through her body. The hint of a sly grin tugs at the corners of her mouth and a dark gleam flashes in her steely eyes. Seeing through them her nude reflection, she is faced with her first decision -- how to adorn herself. She often wears red. Passionate, aggressive, the color of war. Or black, signifying dark times and death. When feeling proud and full of herself, she favors purple, and when feeling benevolent, she dons blue. On this glorious summer morning, however, she chooses grey -- the color of shadows, fog and mist. Cloaking herself in obscurity, she smiles fully now, for hers is a mischevous spirit, neither good nor evil, who loves the incongruous more than anything. She closes her eyes, summons her inner sight and beholds the pristine world. Full of glory and countless wonders, misery and death. Ah the deeds to be done! For all her powers, she is not a god, can not create worlds. But she can, and does, leave her curious mark on them with great relish. Miracles, debacles, the improbable, the unexpected, the unbelievable -- these are her bidding. Let the gods have their drudgery of building foundations and laying laws, so she can come along and wreak havoc with them! Into the shiny new world creeps a thin veiled fog. It penetrates deeply, lying wait in dark forests and hidden crevices, all pervasive, if obscure, and echoing everywhere... =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= A riddle: As long as I eat, I live But when I drink, I die =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Epic Chronicle of the Forces of Chaos from the playtest game conclusion Tharg, first private-major of the Mighty Armed Forces of Chaos, or MAFOC as the peasants affectionately called them, paused as his squadron marched proudly by. Lord Siegfried had led and trained this superb collection of knights, soldiers, swordsmen, and the finest peasant rabble money could buy. Tharg shook his his in wonder that Siegfried or Siggy as he insisted his troops call him, could be such a fine leader, yet dress in such an unmanly style. Ever since he'd come back from the dead, his manners had taken a turn for the bizarre. The troops had met but token resistance in the liberation of Greater Atnos, the second continent to be freed from tyranny. All the garrisons of the evil oppressors had merely stood aside in awe at the mighty forces marching through. His men had hollered "You're free to go now, go home you bums!", but stunned by the magnanimity of MAFOC they simply continued their mindless routine. Tharg thought back to the time he had been recruited in West Camaris. He had been a simple yet rustic peasant then, laboring in his narco-syndicalist commune alongside his brother Dennis when a group of nobles approached them. "Old woman" cried the noble " can you tell me who lives in yonder castle?" Well one thing led to another and now both he and his brother were members of MAFOC. His brother had distinguished himself at the Battle of Castle Bloodstone to free West Camaris from the then tyrant Siegfried, and had been granted a noble rank. Since then it had been a whirlwind of travel, orgies, recruiting sessions and more orgies. Then suddenly, Lord Eldon made the stunning announcement: he had found a mystic means of transporting large groups of men, animals and equipment from continent to continent. Addressing the assembled nobles of the Chaotic Free West Camaris, he said "Ladies, Gentlemen, and Siegfried, we have been laboring to provide a home for Chaos, but we have been duped. Duped I say, misled, led down the garden path. The Forces of Order, Law and other nasty things have subverted the very principles we hold dear. Things have been quiet here, too quiet. Our very nature demands conflict and disorder, yet what have those no-good do-gooders done? They have left us alone. In peace! Harmony! The filthy swine!! They attempt to destroy our movement by ignoring us. They shall pay for their evil non-actions! Not only that, but they called us loonies! We prepare for war!!!" Now the orgies were behind him, at least for now. Tharg barked out orders to quicken the pace. They had reached the highest point in the pass and the Amber Mountains lay before them. Ahead on a rise, stood the evil home of the tyrants of Greater Atnos, Lord Radric, the Knight of Swords, and the foul self proclaimed dictator for life, the King of Swords. Amber Castle, the citadel from which they dominated the surrounding provinces sat hulking on a low peak ahead, the low grey clouds hanging close to its unkempt turrets. "That ain't no big fortress" said one of Tharg's men " Thats just a dam' ol rats nest". As the men of MAFOC saw what awaited them, they soon let out a roar of ridicule and taunted the enemy a second time. Siegfried sat side-saddle upon his mighty warhorse Cuddles, and surveyed the forces before him/her. "Oh well, not a single one of them with any fashion sense. Not even any paisley uniforms! Bishop-Sergeant! Sound the charge! Kill them a lot!" With a mighty shout the army of MAFOC surged ahead, driving the peasants before them. As the tide of freedom swept up to the castle the first defenders awoke from their afternoon nap, and sounded a belated alarm. The MAFOC pikemen quickly reversed their pikes, pole-vaulted to the battlements and soon cleared the ramparts. With the battle raging, the MAFOC engineer corps moved forward. "Now boys, I just want you to weaken those south walls a bit so that we can storm the keep" encouraged Lord Siegfried. With Siegfried's instructions in mind the sappers began their work. Carefully digging under the walls, they placed magical time-delayed holy hand grenades underneath the walls at precisely determined locations. They scrambled to safety, just as the last defenders surrendered. With a shrug, they watched as the charges detonated. When they regained consciousness, nothing remained of the shoddily built Amber Castle. The men cheered as they realized the extent of their victory, but then a solitary voice piped up " But weren't all the beer cellars under the castle?" A glum silence fell over the men as it dawned on them that there would be no party tonight. "Well lads" exclaimed Lord Siegfried " Let's look on the bright side of life. I'm sure theres more oppressors where these came from! I'll just contact my dear old friend Black Billy, terror of the high seas. I'm sure he can use his arcane skills to find us more lands to loot, er I mean free." The next morning, after having received mystic knowledge of local geography via magic cellular pigeons, the forces of MAFOC moved north to the Albion Mountains, where the dank and nasty castle of Albion oppressed the beautiful floating city of Eidolon. Just before they departed the evil Radric, former ruler of the province, was executed for not properly maintaining his castle. "It's all your fault the silly thing fell down" accused Lord Siegfried "Off with his head!" After ten days of grueling march without beer rations, the shining city appeared ahead. "Uh oh" said Expendable Ed to Yanos, "I think old Siggy's got us in over our heads this time. Up on that hill over there. Look at the bones, man! " Before them lay a large hill rising up to a stark and unappealing castle, well manned and ready for a fight. This was obvious since the drawbridge was up. Before Ed and Yanos could talk the matter over with Siggy, the charge was called. When the sounds of battle faded, the castle remained unharmed, and the forces of MAFOC were sadly diminished. Tharg sat on the field nursing a really nasty hangnail that had prevented him from leading his men in their final suicide attack. "Oh well, I guess we'll have to buy our beer now in the local pubs with that 20,000 gold we uh liberated." But the enemy had overlooked one small detail. When the battle had raged at its fullest, the foul King of Swords had in his passion had mocked Siegfried mercilessly, calling him nasty things. Siegfried's ire was raised, and he became positively hostile to the unvaliant foe. Seeing the forces of MAFOC resting below, the enemy sallied forth, time after time, only to be defeated by the stout hearts and steady sword arms of MAFOC. Six times they attacked, were met and in the end defeated. The King of Swords lay dying where Siefrieds rapier had cut him down. " There, that'll teach you to never criticize my tailor again, you scurrilous varlet" sniffed Siegfried disdainfully. With Lord Arioch safely bound and gagged, the army of MAFOC marched west, tired, but satisfied in a days work well done, but still searching for that elusive beer. "Milord, d'you suppose the next province will have an inn or pub? My men is gettin' right awful thirsty. There's been words among the men that all Lord Siegfried is after is them fancy dress shoppes" inquired the newly promoted corporal-major Tharg of Yanos, one of the noble companions accompanying Lord Siegfried. "Rest assured that Lord Siegfried has only your best interests held in utmost esteem" replied Yanos. " He's doing what's best for all of us. As they rode into the next province, the peasants greeted them as liberators, threw garlands of garlic around their necks, and invited them into their homes. They were offered food, wine and the finest young maidens, but strangely, no beer. They had but barely gathered on the feasting grounds to partake of the peasant hospitality, when from behind the trees, upon the roofs, and yea verily, even from the very grasses of the fields arose the treacherous foe!! "An ambush!" cried Lord Siegfried in despair "We are lost! It's game over man, game over!" The villainous Knight of Swords had finally appeared, after refusing to meet them in honourable combat. The ambush was totally successful, and the army of MAFOC was lost. In the following days the fine Lords of Chaos were tortured, and made to do menial labour, scrubbing pots and the like. Eventually, this inhuman treatment took it's toll. One by one, the chaotic nobles died of mortification. As Lord Siegfried languished on his death bed, he raised his silken handkerchief to his brow, and as his eyelids fluttered for the last time, he swore vengeance. "You shall all pay, you, you beasts!" Siegfried whispered "I shall return. Chaos never rests" As this tragedy befell the noble ones of Chaos, Siegfrieds old friend and comrade Tiskanorig stood astride his warmount. He surveyed the hundreds of soldiers, archers and the squadron of elite guardsmen who had ridden day and night to make this rendezvous. He stood a mere province away from the scene of the disaster that had befallen Lord Siegfried, the magic cellular pigeon in hand, the message ringing like an onerous bell tolling. "We are betrayed, we are captured! Avenge us my friend!" Tiskanorig's lieutenant and old friend, Nim, asked him "My lord I have given the orders to prepare the final march. We but await your command." Tiskanorig turned to him with a grim expression and said "Make it so." The force moved out slowly, gaining speed and then streaking into the mountains to Albion Province. Less than a fortnight later Tiskanorig stood on the hill where the castle had once stood. He surveyed the destruction they had wrought, the ruined keep, a mine entrance blocked with rubble, and an arcane tower lying toppled nearby, and slowly smiled. He then raised his arms, and as the holy flag of Chaos was raised on high, proclaimed "I claim these lands on behalf of MAFOC, and in honour of our temporarily fallen comrade, Lord Siegfried, Cross-Dresser Extraordinaire, I name these lands CHAOS HILL, in recognition of the fine work done here. Men secure the prisoners. We leave at once for Lesser Atnos. That is the true den of iniquity, we must expurge order from those lands. Only then will all men be free to be able to follow the banner of Chaos!" Siegfried, the twice-risen, brushed the fresh graveyard dirt out of his hair as he surveyed his massed troops. Lord Eldon had left his men and proceeded on to lesser Atnos for Beer and Liberation, but that was not to be, not for the extremely put out Siegfried and the beast-horde of the High priest of Chaos, Stewart. He looked upon the fell beasts, the lambs, and stoats, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals... The dasterdly Knight of Swords was going to be prosecuted to the full extent of the law, uh, chaos, as soon as the holy vision revealed his whereabouts. Stewart kept taking about visions of the gods destroying the world soon, but then priests were always talking about such things. Best to ignore those ramblings. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Attention Liberators and Followers Of Chaos! ___ / \ / . . \ _____|((|))|___ //----/ _ \---\ () /_//|| ||\\_||_____ \-/ \\\_/\-|/----/ We want You! Yes, sign up now. You have read the exploits of MAFOC, and felt the thrill of liberation of poor peasants from under the heels of Tyrancy! MAFOC is seeking new members for a limited time only. Are you a liberator or a tyrant? Join anyway! Apply to Black Billy (e0x) or dan@engrg.uwo.ca, for more information a bout career opportunities in the Forces of CHAOS! Be all that you can be! See the world. It's not just an job, it's an adventure! -Eldon, Lord Champion of CHAOS P.S. Members of the Wizards' Guild are definately not eligable for this promotion. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= The person (or persons) who taped the "KICK ME" sign to my door last night is kindly requested to present themselves in the central square, in Imperial City, at noon for a duel of honor, or else be forever condemned to know, in their hearts, that they do not deserve the title "noble." Assuming I survive this noontime, all of us nobles still alive will once more be deserving of that title, and I invite contact from any and all of you, with an eye toward mutual defense as we leave these environs and establish a more suitable kingdom far to the west. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Up