BSE Digest v195 #115 From: kerry@io.com (Kerry Harrison) Date: Fri, 24 Mar 1995 02:41:59 +0000 BSE Digest Thursday, 23 March 1995 Volume 195 : Number 115 In this issue: + BSE: Morale items? + BSE: Colonists for sale? + BSE: Weapons listing + BSE: New Arrival + Re: BSE: Colonists for sale? + BSE: USS Product Liability, Part II (BOUNCED MESSAGE) + BSE: Those Fabulous Myrships! (fwd) See the end of the digest for information on subscribing to the bse-list or bse-digest mailing lists. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Kevin Curnutt <76114.3576@compuserve.com> Date: 23 Mar 95 17:39:00 EST Subject: BSE: Morale items? Does anyone here know what all is covered by the line, "Morale increase for items given to colonists & special bonuses:" in the morale section of my colony printout? I know (at least I'm pretty sure <g>) it covers luxury goods and consumer goods, but I'm not sure what else. Does it cover the morale bonus for Restaurant/Gambling/Recreation complexes? Anything else? Kevin ------------------------------ From: Kevin Curnutt <76114.3576@compuserve.com> Date: 23 Mar 95 17:39:06 EST Subject: BSE: Colonists for sale? Does anyone know of any colonies selling colonists? Kevin ------------------------------ From: Kevin Curnutt <76114.3576@compuserve.com> Date: 23 Mar 95 17:39:03 EST Subject: BSE: Weapons listing Does anyone have a weapons list, listing the various weapons, their damage and accuracy ratings, and their MUs, that they could post here? Also, an ASCII items list would be great if anyone has it. Kevin ------------------------------ From: eker@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (Erik Ker) Date: Thu, 23 Mar 1995 17:49:40 -0500 Subject: BSE: New Arrival Greetings All! I am here to announce the new arrival of our third daughter. Heather Renae Ker arrived Wednesday March 22, 1995 at 7:22 pm . After 14 hours of labor, she arrived by C-section. Heather weighs 8 pounds, 12 1/2 oz. She is 21 inches long. She is doing well. Tanya can be reached at 614/293-5536 if you wish to speak with her. She also is doing well. The doctor thought she would come home Saturday, I think he will chose to release her Friday. We'll see. Fare Well! Erik Ker eker@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu ------------------------------ From: rboggs@isisph.com (Russ Boggs) Date: Thu, 23 Mar 1995 15:48:15 -0800 Subject: Re: BSE: Colonists for sale? > Does anyone know of any colonies selling colonists? > >Kevin > > SMS Hydrothora on Petroom in Newbian is selling 20k at one each. - --Russ ------------------------------ From: Kerry Harrison <kerry@io.com> Date: Thu, 23 Mar 1995 20:27:35 -0600 (CST) Subject: BSE: USS Product Liability, Part II (BOUNCED MESSAGE) - ---------- Forwarded message ---------- Date: Wed, 22 Mar 1995 16:47:54 EST From: btb4@Lehigh.EDU (B T Braun) Subject: USS Product Liability, Part II TO: The virtuous, self-sacrificing lot of you who help to make Our Inner Empire Lives (TM) so cushy. From: Abercrombie Milquetoaste, Senior Executive Vice President of Legume Enumeration, Marketing, Cellulose Joining Device Auditing, Product Development, Government Surplus Acquisition, Inter-corporation Legal Affairs, and General Swell Guy (Patent Pending). Universal Stellar And Services Main H.Q., The Inner Empire Before turning to the issue of USS Robotic Personal Companions (TM), and whatever liability some individuals may delude themselves into believing the USS Main H.Q. might have due to non-warranted use of certain of our models, I must once again address the use of Hagbard Celine in the pending legal actions against He Who Must Not Be Named (cf). Certain over-zealous individuals misinterpreted my last message, so let me be clear: UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD HAGBARD BE ALLOWED TO ASSIST WITH THE PROSECUTION. Our legal forecasting system indicates that, should Hagbard aid in representing the "state" in this matter, not only is there a greater than 97% of exoneration for He Who Must Not Be Named (cf), but near certainty that HWMNBN would topple Jasil and become the new emperor. THIS MUST NOT HAPPEN. THERE IS A VERY GOOD REASON THAT THE SON OF THE FOUNDER OF THE USS IS A BACKWATER COLONY GOVERNOR. The USS has for the last several decades produced a consumer line of Robotic Personal Companions (TM) in addition to our fine industrial, exploration, scientific, and defensive robotic products. Of the Robotic Personal Companions, I must say that my two favorites are probably the Robotic Talking Parrot (TM), and the Fine & Friendly Robotic Puppy (TM). The parrot model provides all of the affection and enjoyment of owning the real thing, while the puppy has two advantages: A while-you wait breed change, and it never grows up. Both have user-modifiable "realism" settings so that the individual may elect whether to deal with feeding, droppings, destructive behaviors, susceptibility to rabies, etc. Of course, the line of Robotic Personal Companions (TM) is as diverse as The Empire. They provide years of service free enjoyment to billions of sentients in need of companionship, but without either the ability or desire to deal with the responsibility of pet ownership. Plus, with the interplanetary customs being what they are, you needn't worry about leaving "Rover" behind in the case of a job transfer. The popularity of specific models varies, of course. In the colonial Wheejer Nebula, where the least dense planet has a gravity of over 10G, they have a fondness for French Poodles. Our robotic version is a viable alternative to "the real thing" because the hapless living variety immediately collapses into a bloody pulp when exposed to the planets' gravity. Indeed, we of the USS are proud to point out that imports of live (at least, temporarily so) French Poodles to the Wheejer Nebula are for the first time ever less than twice that of our robots (evidently, much like cock fighting on ancient Earth, French Poodle Collapsing is a major spectator event in the Wheejer Nebula). The turn of events in the Capellan Periphery have been viewed with growing alarm by the USS headquarters. It has come to our attention that, for over five years, our Capellan Periphery associates have ceased to order all Robotic Personal Companions (TM) other than what are typically some of our worst selling items: Buffy & Fluffy, Your Friendly and Cuddly Sheep (TM). Indeed, the only colonial sector to order more sheep per capita than the Capellan Periphery is the Von Ludendorf Cluster. However, while some whispers of liability claims have been emanating from the Capellan Periphery, we've had no complaints from the Von Ludendorf Cluster (many crayon-scrawled smiley faces, but no complaints). The USS Inner Empire Position (TM) is VERY CLEAR (Pat. Pending): Use of Buffy and Fluffy in any manner other than those specified in the owner's manual violates and nullifies all warranties, expressed or implied, on said products. Furthermore, any injuries resulting from non-factory approved modifications, even if made at one of our Capellan Periphery Subsidiaries, frees USS Inner Empire from all liability for said injuries. The application of petroleum or silicone based lubricants to the internal mechanisms of Buffy and Fluffy is to be considered extremely dangerous (as well as disgusting in the extreme, by implication). Don't do it. If you have to use anything, use Strion. Not that I'd know personally, of course. The "use" of sheep on ladders, hung from chandeliers, in hot tubs, or for the purposes of commercial gain is strictly against USS policy. That goes double if you fail to give us a cut. Mud wrestling is right out. Remember our motto: "Treat your Robotic Personal Companion the way you would the real thing" (TM). Be seeing you, Brad Braun btb4@lehigh.edu ///////////////////*********************************************\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ Brad's Sig. File Here >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< ------------------------------ From: Kerry Harrison <kerry@io.com> Date: Thu, 23 Mar 1995 20:29:19 -0600 (CST) Subject: BSE: Those Fabulous Myrships! (fwd) <sent to the wrong address> - ---------- Forwarded message ---------- Date: 23 Mar 95 02:03:32 EST From: Shannon Rundquist <75477.1627@compuserve.com> To: bse digest <owner-bse-digest@io.com> Subject: Those Fabulous Myrships! For all those of you considering getting the korondite coating on a ship, please - let me show you our Top of the Line High Quality Myrships! This special unique design has many outstanding qualities to meet Your needs in a variety of ways. Need to Jam those nasty prying eyes? Or perhaps you need to really get every last mu of info off of that ship or small colony to see what they are hiding. If you are one of those desiring info on the other, this little baby (now pointing to a Myrship in near background) can max out at 247 sensors! (pause for gasps and brief verbal buzzing) Yep, you heard right - 247 sensors! Not many ships can hide through that. Course, then there are the jammers to consider. Well, a fully jammed out Myrship using the korondite coating would have a total of >>>529<<< jammers on board! There is only 1 ship that we know of that can get past that! The Myrship - multipurpose - multisuited. Get yours now at your nearby Myr-dealer-ship. We now return back to our regularly scheduled program - Horticulture Techniques in Corless. ------------------------------ End of BSE Digest V195 #115 *************************** To subscribe to bse-digest, send the command: subscribe bse-digest in the body of a message to "Majordomo@io.com". If you want to subscribe something other than the account the mail is coming from, such as a local redistribution list, then append that address to the "subscribe" command; for example, to subscribe "local-bse-list": subscribe bse-digest local-bse-list@your.domain.net A non-digest (direct mail) version of this list is also available; to subscribe to that instead, replace all instances of "bse-digest" in the commands above with "bse-list". Up