UAWF Story From: Jay Anderson <ja3k+@andrew.cmu.edu> Date: Tue, 29 Aug 1995 00:00:00 +0000 Ok, so you're surfing channels on Oct. 17 and you come upon a new network called PNC (Perot Network Cable (yes, I know its a bank, but it my paralell universe dammit!)). You begin to watch it, and suddenly a commercial catches your eye: {Picture of guy dressed in black trunks and black boots, with black briaded hair (shoulder length) delivering OTTR shoulderblock to jobber} Voice: Raven, this high flying superstar was forced to grow up in the streets of Chicago, fighting for his life with his only frineds, Mace and Dreggs {Sceen changes to big fat guy in Andre the Giant-type outfit that looks alost childlike delivering fallaway slam to another jobber} Voice: Blobber, this huge human being was sent to an orphanage by a family that couldn't aford to raise him, and now he's looking for revenge. {Sceen to well built lightly tanned caucasian with short dark hair wearing blue boxing shorts with a gold trim, europeanuppercutting a jobber} Voice: Jimmy Springheel, this popular brit Boxer is looking to make it big in America, and is going to try to go through the UAWF to get there. {Sceen to very well built and large (especialy in upper body) black man wearing red wrestling trunks brainbusting a jobber} Voice: Dr. Sydney Pain, ex-abusive medical attendant in a mental institution, he now wants to take out his anger on other UAWF superstars. {Sceem to guy in a full body suit, no foot or hand coverings (from which you can tell he's oriental), and a mask with a Cobra head design on it giving a jobber a claw} Voice: CObra, possily the most honorable man in the UAWF, and certainly one of the best competitors. {Sceen to guy with short brown hair, white full leg coverings (ala Marcus Bagwell) with "The Wiz Kid" written on the side facing the camera applying a three-quarter nelson to a jobber} Voice: Adam Fredricson, theDoogie Houser of the league already has two PhDs at age 19, and is trying to now prove that not only is he the smartest man in the world, but also the best wrestler. {Sceen to guy with white trunks and "Mr. Magnificent" written on the back in gold, giving a jobber a scorpion deathlock while hooking his hands behind the jobber's jaw for extra pressure} Voice: Mike Mathis is out to proove to the world that he is the perfect male and the perfect wrestl Will he surpass everyone in the UAWF? {Sceen to muscular tan guy with long blond hair and black trunks giving a jobber a OTTR forearm} Voic: Hollywood Johnny Dreamer, the ex Raider who quit football because it was too easy and came to the UAWF looking for a better challenge {Sceen to a title belt with "UAWF USA Heavyweight Champion" engraved on the top} Voice: All eight men competing for one purpose, TO BECOME THE UNITED AMERICAN WRESTLING FEDERATION USA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!!!! ROUND ONE, SATURDAY NIGHT ON THE PREMIER OF "UAWF SATURDAY NIGHT"! Hope you enjoyed that, ---Jay Up