Atlantis 3.0: Times 23 From: Geoff Dunbar <gdunbar@prankster.com> Date: Sun, 17 Nov 1996 00:00:00 +0000 Subject: Atlantis 3.0: Times 23 Atlantis 3.0 Times November, 2 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Email admin30@prankster.com with game issues. Visit http://www.prankster.com (or email atlantis@prankster.com) for information or to join. There has been a bit of controversy over the maximum wages limits (which were in effect through the whole game, but which only just showed up on the turn reports). Anyways, the wage limits are here for good, being important for the long term stability of Atlantis, but I raised the limits in the entry cities by a substantial amount, so hopefully everyone will be happy. There was a bug where you could study magic skills beyond level 5 [450]. This has now been fixed; level 5 is now the maximum. As repayment time begins to come around for many of you, I would hope that most of you will continue to play Atlantis 3.0. As a note for those of you who paid by credit card; I would like email confirmation to recharge your card, if that is indeed what you would like to do. I will not charge anyone's card again without confirmation. If you would like to pay by check or with a different card, that is fine as well. Thanks, Geoff ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Beware the Ides of March (Advanced Soothsaying) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ I am a rotting mindless juju, Victim of Azthar's evil voodoo. He removed my spleen, Now I'm real mean. Gonna help spread psychotic foofoo! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Aserne, of UF & GALE (112): WHAT!!!!!!! Not enough manual WORK!!!! And not even mentioned in the times!!!! WHAT!!!! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ artifact lore [ARTI] 2: No skill report. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Time for a new begining ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The grass looked greener on the other side ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Work proceeds apace. Soon we'll be ready to strike out for new lands. Another new ally is on the way, so together we make a weak alliance with several members, instead of individual weak factions. Sigh. And based on the rumblings in the Times, the time doesn't seem like a hospitable one for the weak. So who said, Might _doesn't_ make right? They never visited this world, apparently. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Eviler than Twee... Impossible!! I mean, when I attacked them they, completely unprovoked (if you ignore the actual attack), wiped out my entire faction, merely because i had forgotten to HOLD and AVOID! Perhaps Azthar was right after all..... ...No, lets not get carried away.... Azthar is not right [nor left, nor any which way known to man (and I'm pretty sure to women either....;)] He did get 97 spleens last turn however, so perhaps we'll hear less of that for a while....(recognise the same wishful thinking that led me to attack Twee?) Anyway I'm safe from reprisals cos I renamed my restarted faction "a faction noone has ever heard of"..... .... I guess I shldna said that huh? ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Pope goes to visit the Seven Dwarfs. As he is finishing his speech on comparative religions, Dopey raises his hand to ask a question. Mr. Pope, are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?". "No Dopey," responds the Pope, "there are not". "Mr. Pope, are there any dwarf nuns anywhere in Italy?", Dopey questions. "No Dopey," chuckles the Pope, "there are no dwarf nuns in Italy." "Mr. Pope," Dopey asks pleadingly, "are there any dwarf nuns anywhere in the world?" "No Dopey," the Pope says sadly, "there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world." And softly in the background, the six remaining dwarves start chanting, "Dopey screwed a penguin, Dopey screwed a penguin." ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Paw, Sarah and I have moved into a fine house in a very nice town. It would not be to your taste; but I find it very refreshing to have a roof over my head instead of the clouds. Maw ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Black Hawk Society and Trading Company: COBRA Notice: There has been a shake up at the "Company" and has resulted in a name change. This faction will now be known as "The Black Hawk Society: COBRA" ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The circle shall be complete. Chaos shall reign unto the sub humans. There will be war, and chaos, and it will be good. And I will smile, my duty fulfilled. For I am death, and YOU fear me. Fortunatly, this article is unsigned, so I don't have to back up my claims with any real power. Give me fifty silver! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Lady Mara in the name of house Acoma send greetings to all factions. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The warrior looked upon his new home. There were rolling hills as far as the eye could see. This would make a fine home, and it was only accessible by boat. The first thing to do was to get his taxers working. Then arrange for the ship to return for more troops and silver. This will make a fine home! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ "Sire.." "Yes?" "Bad news, sire. We have lost a scout to the foul undead." "Curses! Did anyone see the battle?" "Fortunately yes, sire. Our armsmaster now knows their strengths as well as their weaknesses." "Then the young elf has not died in vain. Begin recruitment and training in the orc village. This day shall not go unavenged!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------ A cold breeze sifted in the tent, ruffling the mages scrolls and parchments. Damn, he though to himself. Winter is going be setting in soon. How long do the winters last in this Goff-forsaken part of the world! The scouts settled in amonst the peasants of the lands. The taxing soldiers settled in for the long winter. What shall I study, asked the mage? Perhaps, if I can control this upcoming weather, than perhaps I will not effect our expansion! (218) rlp@crystal.cirrus.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------ THE IMAGE: Evisceration Unlimited, 9 vikings, 9 swords, A focused team of walking buzzsaws THE REALITY: Combat2 Did they know which end of the sword to hold? ------------------------------------------------------------------------ In command of mutinous boat, now that is something I never thought I would be doing. Still if the Kith-Kanaan Had not beeched the boat he wouldn;t be in the brig would he. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ "We've run aground!" "What do you mean, we've run aground?" "What do you think I mean STUPID! We've run aground" "Right. You're not sailing the ship anymore, I say we get a new captain" "This is mutiny Mr. Kanan" "You guesed it father. CLAP HIM IN IRONS AND TAKE HIM BELOW. Where's Chidder. He can have a go at sailing the ship for a while." "Here I am Porthios." "Right Chidder. Let's see if you can sail the ship better than our father." "MARK MY WORD PORTHIOS. YOUR WANT ME IN COMMAND AGAIN VERY SOON, AND WHEN I HAVE MY SHIP BACE I'LL MAKE ALL OF YOU WALK THE PLANK. OOF..." As some one strikes Kith-Kanan over the head with a belaying pin. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Now the wind of war blows from the east. Revealing are dropped. Hostile is set. None shall pass without defeating. What's worse than a mighty ennemy but ten ennemies. Beware the over limited factions !!! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Them Dragons are TOUGH! (Whew!) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ spleen, n. 1. a large vascular, ductless organ in the upper left part of the abdominal cavity near the stomach: it has various functions in modifying the structure of the blood, and was formerly regarded as the seat of certain emotions. 2. anger; spite; ill humor; as, "to vent one's _spleen_." 3. a fit of anger. 4. melancholy; low spirits. [Archaic.] 5. a sudden fancy; a caprice; a whim. [Obs.] 6. a fit of laughter. [Obs.] Need I say more... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Fire. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ *****BROTHERHOOD OF TWEE ANNEXES DURNESS CITY***** The Brotherhood of Twee today announced that Durness City had been finally closed to both inward and outward travel. "With our claim of the hex 28,108 we have finally succeeded in enclosing the city within our lands and hereby claim the city as part of the Holy Land. Whilst we accept the rule of the city mayor and his guard we hope this blockade shall persuade all interlopers on Brotherhood lands to leave and prevent the Evil forces of the AIF from receiving reinforcements through the city. Once this state of war, brought about by the warmongering AIF, has ended we shall reopen a road from Durness for the safe travel of all innocent civilians of Atlantis." Ric High Ambassador For The Brotherhood Of Twee Travel by sea is not affected. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ To the owner of the fifth planet from the sun, excluding Mercury: The fish sleeps at midnight. Watch for traffic on the Overland Trail. Beware the one-eyed nun with promises of gold. Friendship comes in the form of warriors with rusted daggers. The hex 56,90 is the key to 37,121. >From there, everything becomes clear to those who look. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Solution to Eggman's First Easy Riddle: a shield Eggman's Second Easy Riddle: Favoured by men, I am found far and wide, taken from woods and the heights of the town, from high and low. During each day bees brought me through the bright sky skilfully home to a shelter. Soon after that I was taken by men and bathed in a tub. Now I blind them and chasten them, and cast a young man at once to the ground, and sometimes an old one too. He who struggles against my strength, he who dares grapple with me, discovers immediately that he will hit the hard floor with his back if he persists with such stupidity. Deprived of his strength and strangely loquacious, he's a fool, who rules neither his mind nor his hands nor his feet. Now ask me, my friends, who knocks young men stupid, and as his slave binds them in broad waking daylight? Yes, ask me my name. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ It's been a pretty boring month. Moving here - moving there. Study this - study that. That's ok. Things should become a bit more interesting soon. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Isn't it inconvenient when you run out of silver? ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Oh well At least this time I didn't find any pillaged hexes. Maybe our opposition has stopped the scorched earth strategy. Good, then we can fight elf to elf. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The winds of war are growing stronger ... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ I am looking for a pure magic faction to ally with me in the lands I have found through gate lore. I can provide a place to study and funding for study. All you will need to do is get here. Send email to koth@zorda.com if interested. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Time to kick some monster but. Any one want a Lizard man head... I think I will have them for sale real soon. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Redswift Scouting and Trading Company COBRA (232): Life is moving slowly right now but soon things will get better. With any hope we shall grow and as we do things will work more smoothly. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The scouts were living off nothing but bread and water now, and needed the meager income they received from their journalistic enterprises to keep from starving altogher. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Zaptu looked around the Nexus. The sensation was particularly odd for = he knew that he was alive in the world of Greyhawk in another = incarnation. It felt good to be young again. He started to study. He = knew his predecessor, Edward, had died from lack of concentration, a = mistake he did not intend to make. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Golden Empire (189): Public service announcement: Members of the newly established Assassins guild is invited to the Durness region to practice and hone their skills on the misguided SEP thugs. This will have the dual benefit of enhancing the Assassins' skills and lowering the average Atlantis-Faction-Evilness-Quotient (in spite of Azthar who is not really evil - he just hasn't seen the BOT in action and so has no proper frame of reference) Azthar emotioned > I've got to say, in a twisted way I love you all! Surely you don't mean that !!!! Aarrrrggg. Now, for my own contribution to the Azthar Hamster lobbing lobby: There was a sad looney, Azthar Whose tales often went way to far One month in the Times He commited so many crimes That his colleagues proclaimed him fubar This is my signed vote to give Azthar the Spleen. He deserves it, and hey, there is a chance he won't use it to vent. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Does anyone know how to charm a dragon of a centaur. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ What silvers are suddenly running low when working in a starting town. And what is this: Wages: $18 (Max: $19000). Suddenly there are maximum wages. Darklords (113) - Member of UF and GALE Henning Joergensen (c928740@student.dtu.dk) -------------------------------------------- http://www.kbar.dtu.dk/~c928740/welcome.html ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Pigs, are pigs all over, but none have spleens. What could it mean??? ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Nursie read the reports with delight. "Orcies!" she exclaimed. She read on... Winter would delay the encirclement of the city, but that was not necessarily a bad thing. It was time to teach some miners and weaponsmiths, and time for the Guardians to start advanced training, something which had been impossible while they had been concentrating on gathering new recruits. Soon after spring the city guards would get a nasty surprise... - ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The elves are dreaming again of endless plains and rich cities where they might raise a mighty army of fierce mercenaries. Dream on, elves :( But they will straggle on through the impoverished jungles and swamps in their ragged bands of two and three, until they find their Elf Dorado - they know one day they will find it - they must find it! Only once the militia is replaced by a properly trained army will they be allowed to retire to the ranches and farms they have been promised. - ------------------------------------------------------------------------ 50 silver just ain't enough GIMME MORE!!!! (please) - ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Les dwarves regardez les elves de mere dans le bateaux. Ils chant, plus le temp, et avec la coeur - "Ou sont les elves de mere? Les elves de mere sont dans la soupe!" C'est impossible, les elves et dwarves habite ensemble? Non! Ils avez entente - elves sont elves, dwarves sont dwarves. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Don't forget your raincoat. It's monsoon season again. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ It was the best of times, it was the worst of times... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The trumpet sounds. The elite potato troops snap to attention Crisply [or chiply for our chums across the atlantic ] they march in line. More conquest, more glory - is there no limit to the ambition of this deranged potato ? Well yes actually. I'm all in favour of this global domination lark if :- a) Its not too dangerous b) I don't have to leave my nice safe tower and c) I still remain a nice and lovable guy. Bugger thats that out then. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ For Sale 1 slightly soiled alliance. Only 4 members but with a low mileage and in excellent condition. Owner has to move to another continent. Willing to consider part exchange. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ You can surrender without a prayer But never really pray without surrender ------------------------------------------------------------------------ You can fight without ever winning But never ever win without fight ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Selfishness breeds it.... this cesspool of sorrow.... And every few moments.... I see a friend die.... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ API SPORTS CLOSE RACE AT WHITEWATER As the contestants reached the midway point for the race, they are neck and neck. Oddsmakers have the odds of either ship winning at 3:2 with the same odds for the monsoons dragging both ships out of commission. On the first week, it seemed that the Aramoana was going to pull ahead as it gained the inside track and the coastal winds. The Awapuhi was nearly 30 kilometers behind when a sudden early monsoon surge pushed the boat through the marshlands. At this time, neither crew can gain an advantage of more than a kilometer or two at a time. Wade Poole API International Sports Helsicke ------------------------------------------------------------------------ "Ug!" said Thok. "Boat done yet?" "Soon", answered the stylishly dressed gnome contractor as he rubbed his hands together. "You must have patience. Good help is so hard to find. But we'll have your boat done in two weeks - as agreed. While I have you here, I would like to mention all of the overtime we've had to put in, the high cost of lumber, and, well, you did sign a cost-plus contract ..." ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Da Boss smiled as the Witch Doctor slowly bleed to death. He had been fooled twice before, by the wily old orc, had made one too many mistakes. Now the old Witch Doctor would pay. His teeth made a nice addition to Da Boss's collection. "Youse got last word?", he asked. "yes....", was the wisphered reply. "What?" "horses....", was the wisphered reply. "You not fool me again with story" "but...", was the Witch Doctor's last reply. Da Boss was disappointed that the Witch Doctor hadn't lasted longer. Oh well, he thought. Little did he know, the witch doctor had been right. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Anzique Cannibals (176): At times I almost dream. . . . I too have spent the life of the sages way. And tread once more familiar paths. Perchance I perished in an arrogant self reliance an age ago. And in that act a prayer for one more chance went up so earnest. Instinct, with better light let in by death, that life was blotted out not so completely. But, scattered wrecks, enough of it, to remain dim memories. As now, one seems once more. The goal, in sight again. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ At last i have ORCS now the gate will be safe. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ For The one who was in the Plain 50,70 : horse shuttle 4888 more friendly pilgrams 9044 reserves 9897 Next Time put your units in reveal mode ! Jotel and his neighbourhood are mine ! If you want to stay please contact me at ponpon@dr11.cnrs.fr ! R.I.P. see you Gorgor Bey the black Moon (71) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Lookout! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ crossbow [XBOW] 3: No skill report. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Glorious Organization of Divineship, Monthly News ------------------------------------------------- GOD is a peaceful alliance located around Jotel. The members are Roses On White Lace (91) & Elves of Essedail (93) MAGIC: GOD officialy denies any knowledge of any dark rituals in Jotel. However, rumours of orders of improved security was spread amongst the villagers. WAR: The poor guards of Darm, who last month killed over 80 brave COBRA warriors, was ashed as GOD aided COBRA in a new attack. The outcome wasn't absolutely clear at the point of writing, but preliminary reports talk about piles of burning city guard corpses. WAR: The stupid transporter (who has a death sentence to look forward to) made a mistake, ending up far away from the Sines assault force who really needed the horses. A new attempt will be made this month, but the risk of moonsoon is very present. Lord Smygelfh promised to take out his revenge on the Yuci city guards if the force was held up by the rain. WWW: Afraid of the unknown? Don't be, Check out GOD HQ at http://www.student.tdb.uu.se/~m96thd/GOD *Contains THE BEST MONSTER-GUIDE in Atlantis* ------------------------------------------------ GOD can be reached at m96thd@student.tdb.uu.se ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Consolidation is next. Those who dont play by the rules will soon die a gruesome death. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Running ------------------------------------------------------------------------ One day the dead will reach Abrantes, One day the real Peace reaches Deveron, One day the SEP will pay for all crimes, One day the People from Nowhere will arrive, One day the sun rises in Durness again. These are the dreams that will come true SOON! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Daurefin Peredhil (4917), Men of the West (193), leader [LEAD] you are a fool. A dangerous fool who has forgotten the face of his father. You should be sent west. Or better yet, back to the Nexus. See ya. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Seekers (40): New factions in the Nexus if you want to put most of your faction points into trade and/or magic come to Riggenthorpe. The UNCLE alliance will give you lots of help and advice getting started. Contact The Seekers faction 40. Quotes of the month ------------------- The avalanche has already started it is to late for the pebbles to vote. --Kosh, Babylon 5 Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea -- massive, difficult to redirect, awe-inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind-boggling amounts of excrement when you least expect it. --gene spafford, 1992 "Let them hate, so long as they fear." --Attila the Hun ------------------------------------------------------------------------ THE BEST PLANS OF MICE, MEN AND ME OFTENTIMES GET ALL FOULED UP! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ BioPhreaks (172): The green countryside was dotted with workers, all going about their tasks with the lazy rhythm brought about by the summer heat wave. Crimson-bearded vikings bellowed war cries as they practiced overhand ax slashes for the fifth time this day. Desert dwarves silently nocked up crossbow bolts and punctured man-sized silhouettes from a hundred paces. Surrounding the warriors, grim-faced plainsmen tilled the fields, their war against hunger never ending. From the wizard�s tower, Johnny Clone took in the whole of his northern army, and was vexed by their sheer multitude. "Where do they come from, these beings?" He asked aloud, "Every month hundreds more become available for conscription, yet there is no noticeable decline in the peasant population. If anything, buying troopers seems to increase their availability." Johnny again thought through the possibility of a mad clonemaster, wildly spawning hundreds of every race across Altantis. That seemed to be the only answer, yet from what he had seen of magic, anything could be possible. Could it be that new beings sprung right out of the air, just like a wolf or imp summoning? "Bah, it matters not where they come from, but where they are going. It takes a quarter of a year for a regiment to cross the great swamp. That�s a quarter year lost, without training or production. Can they be made to travel faster?" Johnny thought a moment, remembering that roads were an impossibility, then wondering out loud, "Is there not a RUN skill of some nature? Ah, even if there were, only my leaders could benefit." There was the sound of a voice clearing behind the Clone. "Sir, I think we have found an answer." Johnny turned from the tower window to see The Technician, version 2.01. The Technician was looking much better than when Johnny had last seen him, splatted across the laboratory floor, a result of an experiment gone awry. It seemed that he was always being done in by his creations. Fortunately, one of the perks of cloning was that death was only a temporary annoyance. The Technician continued, "we have taken the strands from our most fit genotypes and constructed a strain with twice the ambulatory capability�" Blah blah blah, thought Johnny as the Technician droned on, just get to the point. "�so what results is a trooper that has four times the carrying capacity, and twice the footspeed of our normal line." That caught Johnny�s attention. "Twice the speed? Tell me, what skills does this new clone possess?" The Technician made a sour face, "Well, with the increased physical aptitude, we had to sacrifice much of the intelligence that marks most races, and, uh, it doesn�t know any skills, sir. In fact, we had trouble just keeping it from chewing up the laboratory equipment." "Fantastic. So what use is it? I�ve now got troopers who can get to a battle that they don�t know how to fight." "We believe it might do well to aid our existing troopers, to serve as feet for their brains. At least, what our troopers are calling brains." The Technician smirked. "You mean they can ride this new clone, at up to twice their normal speed." "Yes, sir." "Excellent. Produce a fresh batch immediately and distribute them to our expeditionary forces. One last item, what have you named this new clone?" The Technician brightened at the acceptance of his newest creation, happy that for once he had created something that hadn�t killed him. "Sir, the new clone is Hybrid 0, Revision 5E." "That�s too much of a mouthful. Even for a viking." "Well, back in the shop, we shortened the name for ease of use. It�s called a H0R5E." ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Love your neighbor as yourself. Love your enemies and pray for those who curse you. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ********************************************************************* The new arrival glowered at the teeming masses in the nexus. he halted just in from of the shimmering portal. 'I shall return and I shall make you all pay !!!!' He stepped thru into nothingness. The light dimmed. Out of the shadows stepped his colleagues. The circle was complete. **************************************************************** ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Raul had nearly calmed himself down. But he still longed for a way to vent the frustration and anger that still seethed inside him. He gazed wistfully at some of the men in the camp - there were always a few low performers, and the temptation to make examples of a couple of them was great. But he knew that wouldn't be good for morale. However, another option suddenly came to mind. Scouts had reported a small band of strangers eking out a living in a nearby swamp. They might make a fine target, as long as nobody would miss them. He didn't think they had any influencial allies in the area, though. So... "Mount up, men!" Raul Diamante shouted. "We ride at sunrise! 'Tis long past time we took some action to put our mark upon the landscape. By this time next month, we'll be in position to attack, or by all the powers that be I'll castrate every mother-loving one of you!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Talk is cheap Put your leaders where your mouth My grannie could beat up your army etc etc Yes, cliche wars have started ! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Bluffer sends his regrets, but influenza has sapped his creative juices this turn. Next turn, however... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ " .... fire burn and cauldron bubble .... " W. Shakespeare Macbeth ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Let you who have understanding reckon the Number Of The Spleen, For it is a human number. Its number is one hundred and seventeen. -From the Spleen of Revelations ------------------------------------------------------------------------ sail sail sail... Ho hum! Not even a sea monster to break up the monotony. sail sail sail ------------------------------------------------------------------------ observation [OBSE] 1: A unit with this skill can see stealthy units whose stealth rating is less than or equal to the observing unit's Observation level. The unit can also determine the faction owning a unit, provided its Observation level is higher than the other unit's Stealth level. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The SEP seem to have won, the AIF is scattering far and wide but they will survive (unless the SEP has a large Navy) and who knows what the future may bring them. Meanwhile what will the SEP do now that the AIF are not a solid target???? Is the Dunster war a Hoax to keep everyone else away??? Film at eleven!!! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ pom pompompom pompompom pom pom !!!! The Fireworkers present : night and fire ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Silver Reavers (163): Can the commanders of the following units please contact me, silver@dustari.demon.co.uk, before the next turn is run to avoid unnecessary bloodshed. Merlin's Guards (11935), plainsman [PLAI]. Runner (9716), barbarian [BARB]. You have unwittingly intruded upon territory belonging to The Party and will not be allowed to penetrate any further into out domain without proper identification. An armed security patrol has been despatched to escort you from the area. While it is current Party Policy not to attack without warning, our glorious leader, Big Brother, has decreed that unanounced guests are not welcome at this time. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Constitution of Liberty (230): >This game really needs a better user interface. My empire is > still quite small compared to what it could become and it >takes me 5 hours to do my 10 page orders. I mean the game >concept is fantastic but I think it is just way to hard to >manage. Does anyone else agree? Yes, I am only a few turns in the game, but if do not meet strong neighbors giving me a kick, I'll get the same problem. Maybe a player arises who wants to make a little money with a shareware program? Another solution: Hire 7 mages and apply to my faction for a tower and a steady income. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Chronicles of The Tribe In the southern plains Karaja is working his cheap tricks. Far sight enabled him to see beyond the plains where forests and tundra break the monotonic green pastures. That's where we are heading, to set foot and start exploring what is there to explore: wood, stone, whatever... In the northern mountains no surprises except for a furry band: - Grizzly Bears (1902), 2 grizzly bears [GRIZ] Kaiwa sez:_No, I won't mess up with these guys. They're big, hairy and have a really bad breath. Paulo, Parrot-man of The Tribe (123) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Would please all GARRISON units stop guarding hexes that are in 70's Territory. We should have some bad reactions if it's during too much... You know. And would you please contact me at bonnefon@polycnrs-gre.fr With many thanks. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The spleens rise at midnight. Sharpen your scalpels. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ General said he'd be going to headquarters for a while and that I should watch things. He he he. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ I petition Gale to allow some real men into the alliance rather than all those little girlie men they have now. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ To the dismay of builders and artisans of every type, winter descends once more upon the lands of the Chibchas... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Since I have nothing to say but twaddle, except for a pathetic few secrets that would only harm myself and my handful of allies, and lacking the dubious but voluminous wit of others, I will content myself with presenting organized twaddle. Thus begins a series of philosophical inquires by the great thinkers and doers of history into the ancient inquiry, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" We begin with the political master, Machiavelli. "So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained." ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Shadow Circle (6): >From the Office of the GALE Grand Marshall: It was a quiet month in GALE territory, and the new GALE Ambassadors were busy getting to know their contacts in the foreign territories. The CDD continued the debate regarding the land claims policy, but some of the fervor seems to have died down. The rush to expand and acquire new territory has slowed as much of the continent has been explored and allocated. However, some possible passes to large new tracts of land have not yet been fully explored, and there is still plenty of work for intrepid adventurers who dare map the periphery. The CDD is further happy to report that the mechanics of GALE seem to be working well, and numerous disputes are raised and settled peacefully each month. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Gate wars will be risky, you could loose a powerful mage, and what will you gain? An enemy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The end is near for the small but fierce band of warriors. Alas, some times this cannot be helped... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Glass Chompers (65): I have changed around a couple of things on my web page. Since no one seemed to like the hex information (I can't really blame them since it wasn't very useful since I could never get updated information!) I have removed it and put in some graphical type maps instead. However, these still aren't a lot of use since I don't have a lot of information for them. If you are willing to share and would like to make these maps better I would appreciate any information you can provide. I have also added an on-line discussion area. I have had somone suggest I put up some tips and such for beginners but to tell you the truth I don't really have any. In any case, come on over to my home page at http://www.kraby.pair.com and see what is there! And don't forget to sign the guestbook! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Still studying, still using up money for studies & maintenance. Am I ever going to be able to do more than break even? ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Ahh a new world. Untouched. Ripe for Conquest!!! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Accord Ltd. (191): "Those whom heaven helps we call the sons of heaven. They do not learn this by learning. They do not work it by working. They do not reason it by using reason. To let understanding stop at what cannot be understood is a high attainment. Those who cannot do it will be destroyed upon the lathe of heaven." --Chuang Tse ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ACME Spleenmongers (117): Official GALE announcements: Supernatural forces have claimed one of our members and we now number 54. Our rather spartan website is at http://www.wolfe.net/~azthar/GALE New factions interested coming to Helsicke and joining GALE are encouraged to contact any GALE member or The Grand Elder at azthar@wolfenet.com Any established factions or alliances wishing to open formal diplomatic relations with GALE should contact the following persons based on your general location. Helsicke: Azthar <azthar@wolfenet.com> Graevsbygd: Vince <vjg@edisun.cb.att.com> Riggenthorpe: Brian <bpest1+@pitt.edu> Elsewhere: Ken <ken@satori.gso.uri.edu> ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ================================================================================ ACME Public Bulletin #18 Announcements for Septmeber Year 2 Monthly tips: ------------ Kill Guardsmen, it's good for your karma. Land Claims, Battles, etc. -------------------------- The orcs were a little lazy and only killed 67 guards in the suprise round against the Akbou town guards. The extension to the venting system was not as effective as was hoped, but it was still useful. In the World of Diplomacy: -------------------------- Nothing new this week. If you don't know where the ACME/Nameless border is by now, you probably don't need need to know. ACME InfoPol slogan of the month: --------------------------------- "No one will truly be free as long as anyone tries to pass judgement on another's dogmas." Any official correspondence to ACME should be addressed to azthar@wolfenet.com ================================================================================ -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Greetings, friends, neighbors, strangers and enemies! Welcome! It's time again for -- Azthar's Smoking Wing. I'm not going to include posts anymore, I'm long winded enough as is. I don't need any help. That is one thing I will apologise for. I've decided to narrow my word intake. I've determined that the psychotropic (mind moving) effects of "pillaging" and "@pillage" are detrimental to positive social interaction. I going to stick with "spleen," it seems to have an amusing, but relatively non-disruptive effect. It reminds me of hot cocoa on a cold night. I do want to thank who ever it was that brought up the idea of "The Best Use of the Word Spleen Award," it has brought a whole new dimension to the Times. Speaking of the adverse psychotropic effects of words, it is my experience that it is very unwise to haphazardly use, maliciously exploit, or frivolously discuss Tarot symbolism. I know many people who have come to serious harm by not treating the power of those symbols with the proper respect. You don't have to believe me, but not believing in Tarot or even dogamtic Atheism gives no immunity. In the same sense that not believing in traffic laws or Newtownian physics will not save you from a car accident. This is just a friendly admonition, that's all. Yes, the Devil's posts are shorter, but so are his horns, *and* his orgies! Caligula? Hmm. I'm flattered. The parties are definitely wild, but since the GE is not the Great Emperor, it is not really a good comparison. GALE does not follow Azthar, Azthar participates in GALE. GALE is an anarchic cooperative, not an imperialist oligarchy. We raise fuzzy animals and grow bananas, we race yachts and collect spleens. Ok, so some of us p***age for amusement and others worship Atilla the Hun, but we are really just 54 nice people living in harmonic discord. But maybe I'm lying and I am Atilla the Hun reincarnate and we are all ruthless warmongers who want to see you all squirm as we crush you like bugs! Where my parody ends and the polemic begins is left for you decide. As I see it there is no difference. I mock my enemy as I mock myself. Indeed the two are the same. We are all our own worst enemy. Afterlife? Reincarnation? Who flipping cares! Dharma is about NOW! Forget fear, forget desire, JUST DO! Do what needs to be done for the sake of doing it, not for what you might get afterwards. You might be dead tomorrow, so don't get attached to outcomes. I would call that being "Twee" to each other, but I'm not too hip on the etymology of the name Twee, nor their theology. Palm trees? Oh, so that's what those were. I thought they were windmills... Speaking of reincarnation, rumor has it that it is a common occurance in the Dunster area. I do ramble, but I can assure you that it is not entirely aimless, nor entirely harmless. Like performing acupuncture with a nailgun, or carpetbombing. Hmm... No one contacted me about joining the assassins guild or my contract. It makes one wonder how serious these organizations are? I bet they don't have any good references. Someday I might retract the following statements, but then again I might not: Gimme the Spleen! Barring major acts of vulcanism, we'll do it again real soon. Thanks for joining. As usual, send all donations, inquiries, supplications, propositions, praise, flames, fan-mail, hate-mail, accusations & self-incriminations to azthar@wolfenet.com - or just post it to the Times! VISA/MC/AMEX cheerfully accepted, cash preferred. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Damn! My sword is getting a littler rusty. I guess I need to start drawing it more. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Big Jim looked over the reports. Last turn wasn't quite a total disaster, but the shortfall in work income hurt bad enough. He grabbed his head. What was he going to do? With the new rules change, all his plans were worthless... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Yet another Times and another rambling from the loon from GALE. Will someone please put the Grand Poopah out of our misery. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Upon a nightly steed he galloped toward the arms of the maiden of death. Shadows they did not cast as they where but shadows caught in a moment of time. Silence. Blood spills freely ------------------------------------------------------------------------ BRD Industries (155): Mongo had the distinction of being both the tallest and the strongest Barbarian who had ever served in any town guards unit in all the history of Atlantis. But no one had ever accused him of being particularly bright. Or even of being smart enough to come in out of the rain. But Mongo was a good soldier, as long as the officers kept a close eye on him. It was a sunny late November afternoon in the village of Stoer. Life was quiet and serene except for a rumor that strangers, who had supposedly come from the West, had been seen in the surrounding countryside. Local hucksters and charlatans had made a small fortune selling potions and talismans to the local farmers. Mongo, resplendent in the crimson and blue uniform of the town guardsmen, stood on the battlements of the settlement watching the townspeople going about their mundane tasks. He saw a small man wearing shabby workman's clothes and a large hat and carrying a small box emerge from one of the streets that led outward from the village square. As Mongo watched, the small man walked briskly across the square and directly to the heavy, wooden, front door of the barracks. Reaching the portal, the man rapped three times. Mongo leaned over the edge of the wall and shouted at the man "What is it you want, little man?" The small man inclined his head towards the sound and murmured something that Mongo couldn't quite hear. With increasing annoyance Mongo called again and again for the man to state his business. Each time the man murmured a response, each time a little louder, but never quite intelligible enough for Mongo to understand. Finally, the big barbarian had had enough. In his most commanding voice Mongo roared "You'd better speak up little man, or I'm going to come down there and pound you into sand!" This time Mongo heard the reply, "candygram" the small man said. With this, Mongo's heart leapt. "Ohboyohboyohboy" thought Mongo, "it must be another present from my secret admirer." For weeks somebody had been sending Mongo little gifts of food and sweets. The offerings were always anonymous and always delicious. With scarcely concealed glee Mongo ran down the stairs to the ground floor of the barracks, taking the last flight in one great leap. As Mongo shot past the open door of the duty officer's office he raised up such a wind that the lieutenant's papers were thrown into a flurry, causing the young officer to be startled out of his nap. With a shout he ran out into the hallway and pursued the giant guardsman toward the front door. "What in the h*ll has got into you, Mongo!", cried the lieutenant. "My secret admirer sent me another present!", came the distant reply. Mongo reached the great door and threw up the two massive wooden bars, each one normally requiring a half-dozen men to lever out of their sockets. With a great heave of his massive shoulders, Mongo threw open the heavy wooden door. Because he was giggling like a schoolgirl in anticipation it entirely escaped Mongo's feeble mind that the small man in shabby clothes and large hat had been replaced by a tall and powerfully built man, richly dressed in robes of green and gold and armor of black, lacquered leather. Coming up at last, the young lieutenant was plenty confused and plenty angry with Mongo. He shoved Mongo to one side and looked with surprise on the man in green. Mongo, oblivious to all but the thought of munching some goodies was excitedly babbling "Candygram for Mongo. Candygram for Mongo. What did my secret admirer send me this time?" The lieutenant's heart froze as, with a malevolent smile on his face, the tall green man said, "Oh, I think it's just a box of fireballs." Mongooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Day 17. Things aren't going as well as we'd hoped. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Bank of Helsicke (81): In view of the new wage problems in Helsicke, the bank is now permanently closing. Thank you to all my customers; it's been fun. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Ah! so much to be done, and so litle time available. Garry looked around in the city. It was quite large -well to be honest it was the largest city he had ever seen. 'I need a place to build my strong- hold, somewhere more quite and peacefull. If I only knew who owned this place, I could buy some property and start organizing things.' Thoughts of organization, education and production filled his mind quite often theese days. What he realy needed -he decided, was someone to talk buisness with, someone who could teach him about this new world. Garry looked around once more, the flow of people walking towards the city market, was almost as overpowerring as if he was standing in the middle of a river. Garry let himself flow with the stream, and was carried through the main street, towards the center of the city. It was a hot and sunny day, and Garry was fealing quite thirsty. He saw a man standing nearby, he was a tall man wearing a black robe. "Hey! you over there..Where do I find a tavern?". The stranger turned slowly, looking Garry dead in the eyes. He smiled and answered: "Well since you ask me in such a polite, and respectful maner, I feel inclined to help you. Now tell me young boy, what kind of tavern are you looking for, do you want a peacefull inn, a gambling pit or a brothel? Believe me boy we have it all here in Helsicke." After a bit of conversation, Garry and what appeared to be Sarabian, walked over to a small inn of Sarabians choice. There they talked, and ate (at Garry's expense). Sarabian knew alot about the city, and the areas surrounding it. He even had a small map of the area showing that Heliscke lay at the eastern border of a huge mountain range. Towards the northeast lay vast plains regions. It was decided that the two indeed was to become partners, and plans for the future were formed. Garry would use his magic spell, to take him somewhere less populated. There he would prepare for Sarabians arrival. Sarabian would stay a while in Helsicke and gather his friends, in unision they would ride or sail towards their new stronghold. In a world full of dangers and adventures, one can only guess as to what will become of our friends Garry and Sarabian. Will Garry die horribly as he teleports into a dragons lair?, will Sarabian succeed in convincing his friends to follow him? Atlantis is a fascinating place, where success and failure depend on factors not controlled by mortals alone, and thus we must wait and see, -just like the goods, as destiny takes its toll. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ >From this day on, the land of Lom is ours! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Let me pass on some advise: when you see BALROGS kiss your units in the hex goodbye! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Diastrophism (83): News Flash! Famine in Helsicke. Economic collapse. The maximum population in Helsicke is 1900. The ideal number of workers is 1055. Price of labor was $16.1, entertainment $18. Estimated number of workers 1180. In other news, winter is starting in parts of the underworld. Being underground is no protection from the weather. Keep your coats handy. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ I fear that the monsoon will come early this year... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Giggles' mom is very upset that those bad boys ran away from her. Now she will have to go looking for them in that dusty ol' desert. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Dunster News Report ****************************** The One and only News report: The War of the Plains that has seen so much War seems to be coming to a close. The State of Martial Law still exists any units found outside, without a pass, the City will be considered hostile and will be executed on the spot. If you want to move outside the city please contact this reporter for possible passes. That is all for now. I do sign these and I do use my email address. The Dark Legion (7) kgrindst@inlink.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The High Mage has issued the Ultimatum, join or die. We shall see what thier answer is this turn. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Helsicke gate is 372 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The 70's alliance are really stupid. They don't even have observers out to catch spies. Shortly they will be killed from within. UNCLE: no spleens, just swords. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Wyrm has arrived! The Apocalypse is near! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Butch gazed eastward at the sunrise as it shimmered on the Atlantis Ocean. He thought about a life of margaritas, shrimp cocktail, and tanned beauties. "A pirate I will become!" he exclaimed. "You men begin harvesting the wood in the swamp," he said to the excited tribesmen. "I want you men to study shipbuilding," he said. "I will study the art of sailing," he thought to himself. "Captain of the S. S. Chopper, I will be!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Decisions, decisions... Should I kill the strange units in my hex or should I send them a letter first asking their business? ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Dwight hated paper work - it was like he was in university. Doah. Dwight hoped he had the time to write a proper times article next week. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Jotel is liberated! The forces of GOD have freed the people of Jotel, who had been tortured by the evil forces of the Cityguards. The leaders of GOD has promised the townspeople that they will place their forces in the town to guard it from all kinds of foes. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ......................Route found between Rantlu and Durness................... Plans to twin the cities of Rantlu and Durness were underway last night as the first (published) meeting between Rantlu and Durness residents took place. ............................................................................... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ In those times, Falafel of Irie Kaya(73) spoke: 'Cha! I'm sick and tar'd of all dem creatures roaming Irie Lands. Especially dem undead ones... T'is high time we show dem rasclass evildoers what kind of wood we fuel our fire wid! MightyJajah shall guide our hands to do His Work and Jahlove and Justice will be restored to the Land. Get your bones shaking, skeletons! We-a-comin' for ya!' Creatures(2), you've been warned! (Especially dem undead ones...) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Shadow's Clan (221): I was away for a week and when I returned to my computer I discovered that a unit did'nt move; I cant figure the reason. Do you have any idea about it? The order was right ad the report did'nt show any explanation. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Q: What is white, fuzzy, lives in the forest, and hops in little circles? A: A one-legged rabbit. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ And now the future starts to assume its shape ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ahh yes.. plains swamps and forest plus a nice shaft full of stone and iron. All Mine!! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The man of knowledge must not only love his enemies; he must also be able to hate his friends. --Friedrich the Hammer ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ****************** NEWS FROM THE SAILORS BROTHERHOOD ******************* The Sailors Brotherhood has now SEVERAL MEMBERS in the following areas: GRAEVBYGD, HELSICKE, RANTLU, DURNESS, RIGGENTHORPE, ALFARO, DORNOCH Half of the members are in fact spokesmen of Alliances, so our international community really counts a lot of people now. * No discovery this turn * Message for our members: Some of our members haven't sent any news dor a long time. Please send me a note, we might have some intreresting stuff to exchange. LEGITIMATE YOUR DISCOVERIES by sharing them with the now official Sailors Brotherhood. DON'T SAIL IN THE DARK, join the brotherhood and you'll get cartographic information to help you decide where to go. Don't be the last sailor to join ! Contact cyrilb@microsoft.com. Participate to the World Community by joining the first International Organisation ! Pinpanikaye, King of the Minstrels. ************************************************************************ ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Up