Atlantis 3.0: Times 26 From: Geoff Dunbar <gdunbar@prankster.com> Date: Sun, 08 Dec 1996 00:00:00 +0000 Subject: Atlantis 3.0: Times 26 Atlantis 3.0 Times February, 3 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Email admin30@prankster.com with game issues. Visit http://www.prankster.com (or email atlantis@prankster.com) for information or to join. I'm planning to run the turn on December 22nd, and skip the turn on December 29th. However, I'll be doing this remotely, so in the unlikely event that some sort of problem occurs, it is possible that I might have to push this back. I'll do my best to keep everyone informed. If you wish to keep playing, please be sure to explicitly let me know, even if you paid with a Visa card before. If you are sending a check (no need to email in this case), the address is: Merry Prankster Games 15600 NE 8th St Suite B1 #351 Bellevue WA 98008-3900 USA ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Death stalks those who sleep beware beware ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Khan's gloves bulged ominously as an underling brought him news he did not care to hear. "No plains found yet? What sort of report is that?" grunted the Great Khan. Wood and bone cracked noisily as he dealt the hapless messenger a savage blow sending him spinning into nearby tree. "Return with better news" snarled Farelf, "and summon the carpentry master." "As you command, Oh Great Khan" bleated the crippled elf, crawling painfully away to obey his orders. In that moment Farelf realised he had *enjoyed* inflicting pain on the wretched elf, and felt no guilt. Turning southward, he looked towards the horizon and noticed a thin plume of smoke rising from the jungle. Obedient to his will the troops were pillaging the most impoverished and isolated regions. A delightful feeling of power surged through his whole being as a wave of psychic terror reached him from the distant region. His mind flew to the scene: crying womenfolk wailing before their burning homes, daungters violated and sons lead away in chains. Their few treasured possessions smashed or stolen by his raiders. And any who resisted cut down mercilessly. And later, he mused, there would be hunger and despair - the carefully hoarded food meant for hard times would be carried away and even the seed for the next crop stolen. But something was still needed to complete the horror.. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Kender suicide squad is now back on line! Sorry to all the kenders who have missed the wounderful deaths of Tas. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The elks have come, and soon they will take all. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Does anyone have GATE 5? ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Anchormen (171): - Goblin Horde (2948), 33 goblins [GOBL]. Damn Goblins! Hope they don't have mithril swords [MSWO], weight 1. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Death does not come from finding an enemy. I am convinced that death comes by messing up your orders. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Black Hawk Society ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Dette er selvfoelgeligt lidt kedeligt, men naar man nu ikke kan finde paa det vilde at skrive, saa kan man da i det mindste proeve at skrive ingenting paa sit eget sprog... Kan man ioevrigt skrive �, � eller � i The Times? ------------------------------------------------------------------------ I have killed a Dragon, and spoiled a very interressant item, wich weight is 0. I know those who have already done it understand me. Im very impatient to test it... ... IN COMBAT. Magi from the Septentrion 210. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Earth. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Dogs of War. Cute, but essentially vicious. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ With the monsoon season now past, life would get back to normal. Time to plant the wheat before the next monsoon hits. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Hi Mom and Dad, All is going well at the mage college and the professors are really good. I'm learning so many new things and meeting a lot of new mages here. However, the mage supplies cost me more then you anticipated so I will be needing some more Silver. Please teleport some to me at you earliest convinience. Thanks, No1Son ------------------------------------------------------------------------ egg and orcs egg bacon and orcs egg bacon sausage and orcs orcs bacon sausage and orcs orcs egg orcs orcs bacon and orcs orcs sausage orcs orcs bacon orcs tomato and orcs orcs orcs orcs egg and orcs orcs orcs orcs orcs orcs orcs baked beans orcs orcs and orcs or how about some ocelot spleens? ------------------------------------------------------------------------ I offer 2000 silver for a bottle of Vodka. Please bring me one to Arezzo and I'll repay you... Ho, just some sweet Vodka... Argorn. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Silent sighed. Land was the problem, we have plenty but none with the resources we require. Not to mention the threat of imminant anihilation. Well his report would just have to be to relocate to a more auspicous region. He just hoped that he didn't get his head cut off for it. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The commander eyed the small group of men clustered in his tiny rented apartment with an odd sense of pride,hopefullness, and outright cunning. For months now he had slaved away over the tomes to learn the arts of magik. Now that he had attained a somewhat powerful status as a mage he had decided to call a meeting of his few buy loyal followers. There were five of them in all, an odd bunch. One self styled general, one clueless "mage", two intrepid "thiefs and asassins" and one scout who likely couldnt make his way out the door of the tiny room. This was the pathetic rabble that he must depend upon to machure, to evolve into an elite inner circle, the inner circle of his future empire. Yet, despite all this. a wide and evil grin split the commander's stone-cut face. With his knowledge, and with the ineptitude of the local power in the region, he surely would rise to command a great army. A few enemy leaders asassinated here, a few allies gained there, and he would step onto the scene as a major player in the region. But where to start? Well, thats why he had called this meeting in the first place. Fircing his face to return to it's usual expressionless form, he turned towards his few followers and began to speak. "Before we do anything, you men need some work. Soon, you will learn what I have learned, you will study and become expert at your chosen fields. I will hire men and you will train them. You will be my inner circle. I demand total loyalty and servitude from you. In exchange I can offer you positions of immense power in the empire I will forge. Here is what we must first seek to complete....." After several hours the five men left the tiny apartment to return to their own humble dwellings. Each of them would be busy in the coming months, and they would live a hard life. To remain benath notice they would blend into the local city, busily gaining in experience as the petty powers above them squabbled they would become confident and professional. Turning from the door, the Commander returned to his desk and reached for one of his numerous tomes of magik. He to must continue to study in order to lead his newly formed group of men. He fell into a steady trance like state, completly absorbed into the book of magic, entitled 'Paths to greater mastery of the forces behind Magik, 2nd edition' ------------------------------------------------------------------------ "Damn long winters..." "SAH!" "*SIGH* yes?" "I have succesfully fought my way through the snow in order for you to give the men orders, SAH!" "ok..., are our farmers still buried in snow?" "yes, SAH!" "tell them to stay where they are then, and our mages too?" "yes, SAH!" "well, tell them to stay too. Scouts?" "buried in snow, SAH!" "tell 'em to stay. Oh and Kaine?.." "Sah?" "when you get close to the mountains do yell out as loud as you can." "but Sah, then an avalanche will bury ME in the snow." "hope springs eternal." ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Look to the west SEP your doom is comming. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Glorious Organization of Divineship, Monthly News ------------------------------------------------- GOD is a peaceful alliance located around Jotel. The members are Roses On White Lace (91) & Elves of Essedail (93) ONWARD TO SINES! A small but very powerful assault force left the Abrenton plains south of Yuci, riding towards Sines. Lord Smygelfh, who's in charge, confirmed that Sines will be attacked next turn. DEMONIC MISTAKE! 5 bloodthirsty imps broke free from The Essedail High King's control last month. Lord Smygelfh and a couple of mages promised to make sure they 'won't bother anyone' before the leave for Sines. POPULATION INCREASE! The plains of Abrenton and mountains of Portimao was invaded by ambitious settlers last month. Rumour has it that magic is involved in some way. 'Like we'd hypnotize'em or what? No way!', Firebrand denied. WWW: Afraid of the unknown? Don't be, Check out GOD HQ at http://www.student.tdb.uu.se/~m96thd/GOD *Contains THE BEST MONSTERGUIDE in Atlantis* ------------------------------------------------ GOD can be reached at m96thd@student.tdb.uu.se ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Another city bites the dust! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ O God of Earth and Altar Bow down and hear our Cry Our earthly Rulers falter Our People drift and die The Walls of Gold entomb us The Sword of Scorn divides Take not thy Thunder from us But take away our Pride ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Woof! Woof! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Alas, our boat has run aground! We must make quick repairs and push back out to see before the natives are aware of our presence. I fear all may be lost! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ I had figured using Gate Lore would land me far from any other inhabitants. Instead, I find two other factions present in my new domain. Hopefully they'll be more hospitable than my previous neighbors.... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The winds of war are growing stronger ... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ HA! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Right then lads. Lets start building this army up. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The jungle continues to beat... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ BioPhreaks (172): The ten man troop of barbarians shambled out of the swampy gloom and into the clearing of the shipyards. As the density of the swamp trees lessened, the barbarians released the confines on their unique cargo, allowing the weightless hides to rise freely without fear of snagging oaken tree limbs. Restrained only by thin tethers, the floater corpses bounced and bobbed in the afternoon breeze as the unwashed hunters trudged toward the main shipbuilding operation. From the shipmaster�s perch, Johnny Clone watched their progress, and mused that fur-covered unit looked more like a scurvy team of clowns carrying fuzzy brown balloons emerging from a sullen bigtop than the finest hunters the land could offer returning from the field. It was still a mystery how a bunch of hamfisted barbarians could scale the brittle treetops of the stunted swamp trees and bring down this rare prey, but they managed to consistently produce the floater hides, month after month. Soon, those hides would be carrying the most elite clone warriors to wherever the winds were blowing. "Sir! We have a problem!" Johnny looked down from his perch to see his own face looking back up at him. It was Earl Clone, the shipmaster, waving his arms around and fretting in a completely undignified manner, appearing like a complete fool. Some days Johnny hated being a clone, and wondered why he had to share a face with that idiot. Earl continued to wave and bounce up and down on one foot. "Sir! We won�t be able to bring enough provisions on board! The weight will sink us! Bad! Bad!" Mentally wincing, Johnny shouted down a solution, "Just give them enough silver to survive a long journey. 100 a man should do it." That dumbfounded Earl. He stopped hopping and stared blankly up at the sky, thinking. After a few minutes a single word resulted from his intense brainlabor. "Huh?" He said. Johnny bit his tongue to hold back the flurry of curses that he was about to rain down on his lieutenant. Wordlessly, he climbed down from the crow�s nest to deal with this problem in a close, quiet manner. In a matter of seconds he was face to face with the shipmaster. "Listen. Our troopers do not have to consume livestock or grain or fish in order to survive. They can consume silver. Unlike those other commodities, silver is weightless. It is the perfect food." Earl considered that for a second, then answered, "So you�re saying we eat silver? And that this precious metal weighs nothing?" "Absolutely. Here, look at this." Johnny pulled a silver coin out of thin air. Earl�s eyes widened in amazement, "How did you do that?" "Unclaimed silver. Don�t change the subject. I�m showing you something very fundamental here." Johnny held the coin up about four inches from Earl�s nose and released it. To Earl�s surprise, it just hung there, neither falling like a stone nor rising like a floater hide. Johnny smiled, "You see? Silver is a perfect balance of floater hide and nutritional supplements. Observe." Snatching the coin out of mid-air, he broke the coin in half, exposing a rich chocolate center. Chomping it down, Johnny said between bites, "This is good stuff. This one coin could last a normal man three days. Me, I�m a leader, so it only will satisfy me for about a day and a half." Earl was amazed, yet kept enough of his wits about him to ask one last mouthful of questions. "Sir? Who makes these coins? Where do they come from?" Johnny gulped down the last of his meal. "From taxing peasants, you moron! Well, except for the unclaimed silver..." "...that comes from submitting times articles." So gimme my 50 silver. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ And he thought for a long time - all the better to comtemplate the deeper meaning of the world. Then he lifted his head and looked with old and weary eyes: Thus it must be. Man is the product of Entropy. In the transition from Chaos to Order, defined as the lowest possible state of Energy, Evolution has resulted in creating an Intermediate called Man. In this set of mind, Order will be when Entropy has reached it's peak - and all Substance and Energy has been evenly spread. Since Man is child of Transition, He himself must excersise transition - his very nature. And although the more wise beings of his Race urges for Peace and Prosperity by mutual accept, Man hungers for Chaos, since only thus can He evolve. Only thus can he create Transition. This spells the very Doom of all kind of Socialism. Any attempt to divide all resources evenly amongst a group will be against His nature. Not that the Idea of Helping and Caring is wrong, but the more base beings of Man will find this against their belief - and thus work to bring it down. Look! The writings are full of urges to deny others a Life in Freedom. Only by subduing and inflicting pain does your fellow Man find justification in Life. Only by using your Mind to percieve the Structures of the World can you hope to become wise. Only by thinking the Great Thoughts do you jusitfy the air you breathe, the Energy you consume and the Space you occupy. ....and he fell silent again, for he had no more of value to say, and thus wished not to waste Energy. Obi-Wan Kenobi ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Mr. Texas, How is the home state? Full of Quik Kar Kleaners, I'm sure. The Red State remains fluxing...perhaps by the new year you'll see snow. Remember the Knowledge Bowl? My destination this turn is there. Hopefully Mrs. Reicher will not be there to greet me. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Golden Empire (189): On behalf of the AIF, I would like to deeply and sincerely apologise to the SEP, and in particular the BOT, for any Times postings which might have in any way presented them in a bad light, as warmongering thugs or as untrustworthy bandits. We can't think how anyone would come to such a conclusion. In addition, we acknowledge that it is in fact fair play for 10 or more players who work together to form an alliance committed to the destruction of all new factions which select Durness as their starting point. More fun than this we cannot imagine - it's what makes Atlantis great. As I'm sure you (of SEP) all know, there is nothing like the sweet taste of victory as you slaughter the only 10 troops owned by a startup faction, and justly reap the massive 300 or so silver pieces that group had accumulated during its first turn taxing. Ahhhhh yes ! How anyone would think that the formation of pre-arranged alliance of 10 fiends ... err ... friends vs all the single new factions of Durness is unfair is beyond us. Lord K. Supreme Ruler Golden Empire ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Hmm lemme see here. Which of my allies was I suppossed to be writing orders for? Maybe I should say which ones wan't I supposed to writing orders for? Oh hell, I'll just write them all, no one will notice anyway... study study study produce produce produce pillage pillage pillage ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Has anyone taken on a dragon..... If not watch this space. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ There should be a science of discontent. People need hard times and oppression to develop psychic muscles. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Those Lions are sneaky creatures. I hope they choke on the bones. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ "And now, over to Bob the Viking in Durness with an exclusive report. Bob, there's quite an argument brewing there, is that right?" "Yes Jim, the anonymous Times article has really stirred up a hornet's nest here." "Remind us what the article said, Bob." "It said 'Get new, powerful, Toilet Duck. Removes all Priests Of Muldoon.' As you can imagine, Jim, the Priests are a bit upset. In fact, I'm joined now by a representative of the Priests of Muldoon. What do you think of this article?" "This is libel, that's what it is. No member of our order has ever been removed by a toilet duck, or done anything else with any other kind of water fowl. It's strictly against the Edicts of Muldoon, and if there's one thing us Priests don't like it's people accusing us of being sloppy in our dedication to our God." "Do you have anything you'd like to say to the author of this article?" "I certainly do, Bob. I'd like to say this. Whatever kind of feathered animals you keep in your toilet, you'll regret the day you insulted Muldoon!" "There you have it. Strong words being spoken here in Durness, Jim. I think there might be trouble brewing!" "Well, keep us up to date, Bob." ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Solution to Eggman's Fourth Riddle: Key Ok, no more riddles for now. Money's hard to come by, and things aren't helped by flubbing your turn and being unable to tax... ^%$@*&@!&%$^ ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Five hundred years later and people are still devaluing the longbow. Those suckers struck with real impact, the projectile possesses a good bit of mass. They punched through armor even as the crossbows did, depending on the angle of incidence. Accuracy was considerably better with medieval versions of the longbow than with medieval versions of the crossbow, too, although the whole thing is pretty well moot in massed fire. This game has the wrong idea about the weapons. Are they imagining hunting tips on the arrows? They used a different arrowhead in battle, you know. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ You call THEM entertainers???!!! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Grammer errors in last month's times: > The rain was coming down in sheets now, hopefully the storm would start to > lesson <<lessen>> soon. > In an unprecedented move <<,>> the Brotherhood Of Twee spokesman has > responded to the AIF article in last months <<month's>> times. > Slow week this week. Last week I had reports of a lot of information <<;>> this > week has been fairly slow. > The waiting is unbearable, can we survive to the deadline, > what aid is coming, will the scouts survive there next month. <<?>> > All of these questions flicked through the mind of the Old > One. However the Company was <<Use is, or>> almost ready and new > opportunities are <<were, not both>> appearing. His forces here may well > maintain there <<their>> foothold but he would no longer be staying. > And if that wasn't enough, I just got Win 95, and I have NO IDEA how > to use it... <<No grammer problem. Did your earlier microsoft experiences lead you to expect anything different?>> Lengthy articles skipped. Be brief if you want to be read. And corrected. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ THE TRAVELING LIFE FOR ME! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Argh, me hearties. Tis a fine day to be sailin. Anchors away! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Well, here goes nothing. Hoist anchor, raise sail, and run like hell away from any pirates. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Beware, the Orcish Horde is forming. Da Boss is going to lead his Boyz in a great Waaagh against the surface dwellers. Join or get out of da way! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Efficient Empire (119): Combat statistics for Anacondas = This past turn a small garrison of mine was wiped out = in the free round byAnacondas in the jungle. My men were = tactics 0, observation 0, and never observed the Anacondas. Attackers: Anacondas (2266), 4 anacondas [ANAC] (Combat 3, Hits 1). [Stealth 1+, Tactics 1+] Bill , Efficient Empire (WLarson730@aol.com) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ It's time to roll the dice, bet the longshot ... go with the BRONCOS to be the first AFC team in over ten years to win the Lombardi.... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Battles during turn: Dragon (5344) attacks Oak (6592) in tunnels (29,65,underworld) in Haikou! Attackers: Dragon (5344), dragon [DRAG] (Combat 6, Hits 50). Defenders: Oak (6592), horse [HORS], sword [SWOR], sea elf [SELF]. Dragon (5344) gets a free round of attacks. Dragon (5344) shoots a Fireball, killing 1. Oak (6592) loses 1. Oak (6592) is routed! Total Casualties: Oak (6592) loses 1. Dragon (5344) loses 0. Spoils: 5 silver [SILV], sword [SWOR]. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Heureusement que je sois la. Defenders: Grizzly Bears (6015), 2 grizzly bears [GRIZ] (Combat 2, Hits 6). Oglesa (5120) gets a free round of attacks. Grizzly Bears (6015) loses 0. Round 1: Oglesa (5120) loses 2. Grizzly Bears (6015) loses 2. Grizzly Bears (6015) is routed! Total Casualties: Grizzly Bears (6015) loses 2. Oglesa (5120) loses 2. Spoils: 215 silver [SILV]. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->>>> Decisions, decisions... Should I kill the strange units in my hex -->>>> or should I send them a letter first asking their business? -->> -->> The nice thing to do would be to send them a letter first if you can -->> identify them. You never know when you stumble into someone else's camp -->> yourself... How would you like to be treated? -- --Nah, kill them. Do unto others before they do it to you... That's a sure way to get enemies... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Summertime again, allready ? ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Wot Ho ! Almost crimble. What shall we do to celebrate ? Burn down another town ? Slaughter more innocents ( or AIF members ) ? Snuggle up quietly in the magic fortress ? Ah choices choices. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ aouch !!! its burning !!!! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ As far as I know, if the pilgrim don't answer to the many mails my friend Lady Mara had sent to him, it would be clear that we are going to Clear this area ! Last warning to all SCOUTS ,even if we have Observaters, when you walk, ride, navigate, throughout, unknown or not, territories : ********************************************************************** ********************************************************************** ------------------------ REVEAL YOURSELF -------------------------- ------------------------ OR DIE -------------------------- ********************************************************************** ********************************************************************** The BLACK MOON ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Please remove this 50 silver award. The number of absolutely useless messages increases from Times to Times.... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Paw, Things is still movin' along. Maw ------------------------------------------------------------------------ To allies in distant lands: NE) The snake is alert. Shadows lurk in the swamplands. Approach with great care. NW) Riders in the sands. Beware the sun-dried wastelands. Enemies within. 0) The Ant's mate awaits. Outside the door to the void. Many thousand strong. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ACME Jack-of-Trades (63): The email address for faction 63 has changed from vjg@edisun.cb.att.com to: vjg@cbddo2.cb.lucent.com Please begin to use the new address immediately for any correspondence with faction 63. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Can spam be made of spleens, I think I'v been spammed with spleen. If spam were made of spleen, would spam still be the most popular food we've ever seen? ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Oh, the Master of Antares is awakening! Hurry up with the orders for the Atlantis troops and then move to the new realm. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ We want the fight, and we are going to Kill all mages, with the Great Army. Thousand warriors hightly skilled and armored on horses ! Blood is good for us ! That gives us forces. All the inocents will pay ------------------------------------------------------------------------ To flee or to fight, Whether it is nobler to flee to a safer place, or to stop and die facing the enemy. ...... Where did I put my running shoes? ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The word quickly spread amongst the men about the coming assault. It seemed like the whole faction would be mobilized. It was time to lay their lives on the line to provide a much needed resting place for their families. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Coutet turned triumphantly, the guards' remains still sizzling & smouldering, "that should ensure some respect around the University" he thought to him self. Catching the War Lord's eye he gave a brief wink & left the cleaning up to those with a stronger stomach. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Daununda Enterprises sadly reports the demise of its expeditionary forces at the claws of a BOG THING. They are sorely missed. A day of mourning will be held in their memory. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ I petition Gale to allow some real men into the alliance rather than all those little girlie men they have now. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ create aura of fear [FEAR] 1: Create Aura of Fear is a combat spell; a mage who casts it will project an aura of fear on his enemies, reducing their combat effectiveness by 2. A mage with this skill can strike fear into the hearts of 2 to 20 times his skill level men; note that this spell does not affect any type of creature. To use this spell, the mage should set it as his combat spell; the attacks are Spirit attacks, and may be blocked by a Spirit shield. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The PINK PANTHER strikes again!! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Irie riddles: Q. What do you call a stealthy unit that attacks? A. Stupid.(or is it Mugwump? I never remember that one!!!) Q. What do you call stupid Mages? A. Nonsense. Q. What do you call nonsense in Graevbygd? A. Mages of the 37th Dimension(10). Falafel, da Rastapantha of Irie Kaya(73). Contact: teo@alpes-net.fr ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Shadow Circle (6): >From the Office of the GALE Grand Marshall: The foundation was laid for the GALE CDD Headquarters building last month in Helsicke. Workers from the Shadow Circle will proceed with the construction as long as stone and silver are available. All GALE members are encouraged to donate either silver or stone to the project. Even 10 silver will go a long way, so please give what you can to the Shadow Builders (14096). The CDD was relatively quiet last month, and there were no major debates or resolutions. Negotiations with foreign alliances have proceeded peacefully, leaving little for the Grand Marshall to report. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Give Azthar the spleen! After discourse with said interdimensional traveller, and after reading "A Brief History of Azthar"at http://www.wolfe.net/~azthar/history.htm I have been forced to reform my opinion of this individual HE'S STARK RAVING BONKERS!!! GIVE HIM THE SPLEEN OR WE'LL ALL DIE!!!!!! THEY'RE COMING TO GET US, RUN, RUN, RUN!! Sorry lost it for a second (I'm sane, but as for the rest of the world.....). where was I? Oh yes Azthar, now, while he is not the foreseen Pendragon(ette) who will (yawn), unite the tribes, repel the usurpers, bring peace to this land and restore the worship of Elle McPherson (actually this legend (apart from the Elle bit) is far older than the Pendragon(Q) stuff, its just that these old myths - including The Sword, The Stone , The Grail (or Cauldron) and The Spear - were added to the stories surounding the more recent Pendragon(Q) cycle. The treasures of Tir Nan Og(P), Avalon(Q), Lyonesse(Q), Atlantis(!) or whatever, become, in Arthurian(Q) legend, Excalibur IN the stone, the Holy Grail (and I forget the name of his spear, it didn't figure much anyway - unlike the story of Lugh Lamfada(P), where the Sword takes second place to the Spear (which was originally a symbol of lightning), with which he kills his grandfather Balor of the Evil Eye (and all 4 treasures feature heavily in the tale, as in that of Slaine - The Horned God, which (for a graphic novel) is very true to P Celt mythology). More modernly of course, Luke Skywalker has the Sword and the Spear combined in the Lightsaber....., anyway these treasures, and the stories surounding an emerging hero uniting his people against opressors etc. are very old - so much so that they are common to both P and Q Celt mythologies, and thus date back to the original Celtic homeland, somewhere in Central Europe, at least 3000 years ago. ( A bit older than Arthur, who only goes back to about 500AD). ANYWAY I digress (just a bit :) but it is intersting. In the story of Lugh Lamfada (and the rest of the DeDanaan), the Stone proclaims the rightful king (who bears the Sword), in Arthurian legend Arthur is proclaimed king by pulling the Sword FROM the Stone.... AZTHAR:- yes, he is a fulfillment of his own prophecy (I like the story, these things happen to me all the time, its a case of seeing or indeed imposing meaning on events - those who know somat about Quantam Mechanics (or indeed Psychology) will know that there is not a clear distinction between the two), and while he is not the fulfillment of The Great Emrys's prophecy, his is a worthwile influence on the world of Atlantis 3.0 - I just wish he'd shut up about the bloody Spleen!! Myrddin, The Great Emrys of The Old Ones(252) david_coultous@msn.com [Guess my real name;)] P.S. please note my careful minding of my Ps and Qs in the above article (wince) - it had to come, it always does......... :) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Dwight stared over the troops massing in the little village, preparing for the assault on the neighbouring town. It wasn't fair, he mused, that the army would get all of these men. Again, the navy was being neglected - isn't that how it worked throughout history? Just because you could buy hundreds of troops for every ship doesn't mean you don't need the ship, Dwight thought. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ By the time you read this, the town will be ours! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Mmmm... The monsoon has finally come to an end. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Maybe hard times are over, things are looking up. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The ANTI-alliance is now shanghaiing members near you. Soon we will rule the world and you will join us, whether you like it or not. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ What are the stats of underground city and town guards please? Rumour has it that they are tough!(er) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Corofin, once a peaceful desert oasis, has been reduced to a smoldering ruin because of the immoral imperialists the "Dark Legion." Will this savagery will ever end? ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Seekers (40): "Death. Inevitable. If death is inevitable,what is left? Style. Only style." -"Lucifer's Hammer" "So Long and thanks for all the fish" --an anonymous dolphin ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The weather is good. It's time to find a land with good rich soil to wiggle my toes in. But the treachery of man follows me everywhere, and my worst fear is that I'll find the seed of it in my own heart. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Argh-a-flump -- The term used to describe the kind of death where the victim is killed by an archer using plungers in the place of arrows. The name comes from the distinctive sound made by the victim: the scream before and the sound of the projectile striking the face. -From page 15 of _The Book of Silly Deaths_ ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Glass Chompers (65): Note to the owners of: - Tisayaota Band (8150), orc [ORC]; wearing breech clout. - Unit (11225), darkman [DMAN]. You have been caught pillaging in Brethren territory. Please don't do that! It isn't friendly. We like friends. We don't like non-friends if you know what I mean... In other news: Not much. Another slow week in the information area. I had to work all the days this week (including the weekend and even Monday which I normally have off) so haven't even been able to update my pages with much of the little new information I do have (most of it is map info which takes a while to prepare for posting). (haven't even had time to read the latest Times!). Still there is some good info at my page so come visit at: http://www.kraby.pair.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------ How can one possibly be expected to come up with a times article every week? Yet if one does not, no 50 silver. That scout out in the desert is dead. Oh the humanity. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Diastrophism (83): The recession in Helsicke has come to an end: Max population: 10002 (up 502) Ideal workers: 5278 (unchanged) Estimated workers: ?? Price of labor: $18 (up $2.6) Entertainment: $20 (unchanged) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Dunster News Report: ****************************** Nothing new to report a State of Martial Law is still in effect and units continue to defy this and they are paying the price. Dunster is closed. The Dark Legion (7) kgrindst@inlink.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Ahh, the little storms are over with. Now we can get back down to the bussiness of clear cutting the pesky ones. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Clan McCloud (166): NOW ENROLLING! If you are a new faction joining Atlantis, and want to be magic 5, then Syndic8 wants you! Come study at the Rantlu Magic University. Syndic8, the dominate alliance in the Rantlu area, will provide a monthly stipend to cover your costs while you study at our University. Contact pep@frii.com for details. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Big Jeff looked over the students carefully. There were a varied lot. Some know almost as much as he did, but some knew almost nothing. How was he supposed to teach this whole class effectively??? Hell, he wasn't even sure they all wanted to learn the same skills... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ How long to these stupid Winters last! Is not four months long enough to pay homage to the Ice Queen! Perhaps I should cast my Clear Skys spell. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ To pursue a more behavioristic viewpoint, we ask the famous psychologist and author B.F. Skinner, "Why did the chicken cross the road?". Because the external influences which had pervaded its sensorium from birth had caused it to develop in such a fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be of its own free will. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The cave was dark. The cave was dry. And it smelled like shitted pants. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ A new beginning! Can whoever owns the "Raider" units in the swamps called Porthcawl please contact me? I want to trade map info. Maybe we can help each other. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ I wonder where we'd be in skills and trade and all if we had agreed to split the land between us 'unseen' as someone suggested so long ago when we first came here... This war between the Dark Legions and the Southern Cross has sure enough taken everybody's time and money to train armies and warlocks instead of developing the region into a flourishing and peaceful place. Now the Southern Cross is on the run and still the DL hunts them. I thought the war was over land? It seems like the DL has decided to try and kill off the Southern Cross factions even if they have to follow them across the whole world. So much for the peacelovers they claimed to be each time they had killed one of the SC scouts or were they only accidents? ------------------------------------------------------------------------ In last turns times >2) The Brotherhood Of Twee blockade is bogus? All I can say is - call >forth your dogs of war and we shall see whose carcasses litter the >field of battle. It won't be those who follow Twee. How much for a spectators seat? ------------------------------------------------------------------------ There are spies amung us. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ weaponsmith [WEAP] 1: A unit with this skill may use the PRODUCE order to produce weapons from certain items. Swords may be produced from iron, and crossbows and longbows may be produced from wood. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ In GOD we trust! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Accord Ltd. (191): Monsoon season is an auspicious time for peace-makers. Many fine words, however, evaporate with the coming of the sun. The roads are now firm enough for iron-shod heels and hooves. Let us go out and see who is abroad. One must be ever wary of foul- weather friends. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Studying is thirsty work.... Gimme 50 silver for a free round at the bar. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ "Commander! News from the crystal!" "The crystal you say? I'm on my way" The commander stormed down the tunnel. Seemed like all he was doing these days was storming around. It kept the underlings in line, their bows of deference to him were heartfelt as he walked by. None of them wished to be the one who carried the heavy burden of this growing alliance. Guardsmen snapped to attention. "Is the seeress within?" the commander inquired brusquely. "Yes milord. She awaits your arrival" The commander stepped in, and saw the beauty that was the seeress. He met her on the slopes of Helsicke, recruited her to his cause. He could sense the magic that surrounded her, and he desired it. Their might be a love between them, but the commander was far too busy for such dalliances. It was also on the slopes of Helsicke that they had found the crystal. She had sensed its powers, and upon touching it, went into a trance. She spoke many strange words, of a strange land similar to their own. One also known as Atlantis. She spoke of the second age, as if it continued to this day. The commander knew that he had arrived in the Nexus at the beginning of the third age. He knew that a giant cataclysm swept over Atlantis at the end of the second age, reshaping it, and plunging the world in darkness, until the beginning of the third. "Seeress! What news of the crystal?" the commander spoke. She gave him a sensual smile. "I have seen the beginning of the end of the second age. Large warlords and alliances have eliminated the smaller ones. The increased use of magics in the conflicts took a heavy toll out of the magic schema of the second age. Unlike our own magics of the third age, there was no way to return to Atlantis that which was taken. A force storm begins to brew in the nether reaches. It will sweep down and wipe out all remnants of the second age." "How much time does the crystal say?" "In just a little over a year, milord." "What of the other project?" "The linking of gates and portals through the use of the crystal milord? I fear it will not work. The coming battles in the second age will destroy most of the forces in existence. And even if we were to gain forces from the second age, we could not ensure their loyalty." "Ah well, continue to watch over the crystal. Perhaps there will be more lessons to learn before our time of observing the second age is done." ------------------------------------------------------------------------ While the human staff at the camp were not unduly bothered by the visit, the orcish grunts who formed the bulk of the army became highly excited by the news that Colonel Grishnak was expected to be joining them. The Colonel emboddied everything that orcs admired. He was big, easily 20 centimeters taller than the other orcs, he was strong, being able to crush a human skull in his bare hands, and he was absolutely merciless. In short he was a thoroughly nasty piece of work. He was also one of the greatest military tacticians ever to emerge from the orcish tribes. His appearance at the camp could only mean that action, real action, was about to start. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Gimme 100 silver. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Summon wolves, hmmmm.... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Twolegs cover the world like a plague, perhapse it is time for the Imperigum to return? ------------------------------------------------------------------------ To the horses, men! It is time to ride to glory! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Damn!, 90% of my faction has been killed by living trees. And i never saw them comming... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Damn I'm good! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > When a faction is reduced to a handful of grunts, and has no > unclaimed silver left, that faction should issue the restart > command. That's what the restart command is for! THIS IS NOT > CHEATING! > > If you have such a problem with factions that are restarting, > don't attack them! I don't have a problem with these losers. AS LONG AS THEY STAY AWAY FROM MY LAND!!! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Chronicles of The Tribe _What happened in 70,90? Asked Guajajara behind a puff of smoke.. The spirits, recognizing the old man revealed that unfortunately all his allies left the region at the same time. _Your friends read the map upside down and moved away from their claimed land by mistake. Keep a peaceful attitude and everything will be resolved soon under GALE's tent. Guajajara lightened his pipe once again and went away. Paulo, Parrot-man of The Tribe (123) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ACME Spleenmongers 117, 72 skeletons [SKEL], 14 undead [UNDE], lich [LICH]. (117): Announcements from the Grand Assembly of Learned Elders and the office of the Grand Elder: GALE has welcomed yet another member into its ranks. We are now 55. The website is: http://www.wolfe.net/~azthar/GALE/ New factions interested coming to Helsicke and joining GALE are encouraged to contact any GALE member or the GALE Grand Elder at azthar@wolfenet.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The GE has said his bit, it's time to saddle your wit! It can mean only one thing, it's time for Azthar's Smoking Wing! Yeehah! This is getting habit forming. Grab a hammock, we're hanging out in the garden today. Since it's probably not appropriate that I vote for my posts as most entertaining, (of course I find them entertaining, otherwise I wouldn't bother) For all it's worth, I will second the nomination of the BioPhreaks' posts as the most entertaining. Here's a scary thought: I've been talking with some friends about taking Azthar's Smoking Wing to Public Accesss Cable TV. :) Of course it would be a different ballgame, but it would basically still just be me spontaneously ranting above whatever has my spleen in knot at the time. In case anyone is curious (or just bored) I rewrote my "History of Azthar" and posted to my website. It's short essay about where my name comes from and a little bit of why I have chosen to use it as my name. It is a work in progress, as the issues of who is Azthar, and what does it mean, are part of a larger unfolding question. http://www.wolfe.net/~azthar/history.htm While I may have consumed Lizard Man spleens for sorcerous rites, I am not tailless. Granted, my minions are tailless and I used to be, but ever since my alchemy accident a couple monsoons back I've had an 8' long serpentine tail. I have to keep it coiled around my waist and under my cloak to keep from raising too much suspicion. It's tough hiding the horns though, I just don't look good with a huge afro. I really should talk to my tobbacanist and see just what is in this special blend... As for the pilgrims not coming all that way to eat spleens, you are right, but maybe not as right as you thought. It was agreeably not a desire to eat spleens that caused them to leave England, it was very likely because of the need to vent their spleen without being persecuted. Considering that I trace my ancestry to the first crossing of the Mayflower, my interpretation may not be far off. I actually met a guy on a camping trip when I was a child who had had a splenectomy (removal of the spleen). He seemed quite calm, even the morming after bears attacked our poorly safegurded food and ate my marshmallows. :( Needless to say I was very upset, as it was an unopened bag! But I was not mad at the bear, I was mad at my mother for not letting me eat any the previous night. As a result, my mother and I have always tended to argue when anyone mentions marshmallows. But as is my wanton style, I digress. But hey, the smoking wing is a place to just let it all hang out. Literally and figuratively. Which brings me to Eggman the Saxon riddler whom I have been shamefully avoiding. So I finally stand to the challenge, and what do I find? Jeepers the Zombie Mojo Sceptre! err. That would be: an erection. So am I a "dang good riddler?" Or just a lecherous lunatic? D'ya think ol' Petey Brown brought some Saxon genes along on the Mayflower? Hmm, could be. If I am right, that was actually quite easy. The others left me confused. But then again with all this peace going on around Helsicke, I don't have much chance to use a mailshirt or a shield that often. :) So SEP declared war on GALE. Way cool, if only it was signed by the Twee... It's almost like the tabloids quoting an anonymous, reliable source saying South Africa has declared war on Canada to get the Helium reserves. But like, we're waitin', eh! I said I would do a tarot reading, well, I haven't done one yet. I've been too busy on other things to be focused. Maybe next time. David, you shouldn't be hurt. My stab at you a couple issues back was just my twisted way of saying "I love you!" When I said twisted, I really meant it. Now who's ever heard of a tyrant who had empathy? Really now? Do you think I'm that much of a masochist? hmm. Don't knock it 'til you've tried it I suppose. Trust my allies? Of course! I trust all my allies implicitly. That's why they are my allies. Do you trust yours? btw I don't think I have 54 allies, but then again my arithmetic sucks. Ok, I take that back. I don't trust the Movers, I've known him too long to trust him, but I suppose that is a form of implicit trust. BOHICA? That would be "bend over here it comes again!" Hey, unless the Great Taqhoma decides to blow her cool, we'll do it again real soon. Thanks for joining. Love ya! You know where to find me! But if you don't hurry, I'll become a moving target. VISA/MC/AMEX cheerfully accepted, cash preferred. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Another city has fallen. Soon we will be able to crush GALE... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Here I sit, broken hearted; Tried to submit, but the Syntax's departed. So from this wargame I'm forced to fall; Cuz my service provider ain't on the ball. kizmet ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ...Notes and Quotes... University of Colorado linebacker Matt Russell, on ignoring being an 18-point underdog to the University of Nebraska last weekend: "I don't keep track of the odds. If I did, I'd have gone to Boston College, I guess." ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Yes, makin' mock o' uniforms that guard you while you sleep Is cheaper than them uniforms, an' they're starvation cheap... For it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Chuck him out, the brute!" But it's "Saviour of 'is country," when the guns begin to shoot... >From Rudyard Kipling's Tommy ------------------------------------------------------------------------ We got Spirit-5 yes we do, we got Sprit-5 how 'bout you? ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Did you know that Dragons can't see you if you are wearing this mystical pendant? Just watch me as I waltz over to this big fellow here and poke him in the eye. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Hmm.... No more A2? I wonder if this will mean a mass exodus to A3? Well see. Meanwhile, i think we see quite a few wars begin... Anybody see it different? ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ****************** NEWS FROM THE SAILORS BROTHERHOOD ******************* The Sailors Brotherhood has now SEVERAL MEMBERS in the following areas: GRAEVBYGD, HELSICKE, RANTLU, DURNESS, RIGGENTHORPE, ALFARO, DORNOCH Half of the members are in fact spokesmen of Alliances, so our international community really counts a lot of people now. * NEW DISCOVERY THIS TURN !!! The crew of L'Explorateur, belonging to The '70s have encountered a City to the northeast of Graevbygd. It is named JAHROM and is located in a plain. The '70s will be glad to add JAHROM to their nexus of towns and cities. Congratulations to them!! * The Sailors Brotherhood and THE HUB You should now be aware of this new organisation called THE HUB. Crossroad of Cartographic and GATE knowledge, this community of 3 international guilds will soon become the best service provider on Atlantis!! LEGITIMATE YOUR DISCOVERIES by sharing them with the now official Sailors Brotherhood. DON'T SAIL IN THE DARK, join the brotherhood and you'll get cartographic information to help you decide where to go. Don't be the last sailor to join ! Contact cyrilb@microsoft.com. Participate to the World Community by joining the first International Organisation ! Pinpanikaye, King of the Minstrels. ************************************************************************ ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Beware the Mugwump! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Up