Atlantis 3.0: Times 55 From: Geoff Dunbar <gdunbar@atlantis.prankster.com> Date: Sun, 13 Jul 1997 00:00:00 +0000 Subject: Atlantis 3.0: Times 55 Atlantis 3.0 Times July, 5 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Email admin30@prankster.com with game issues. Visit http://www.prankster.com (or email atlantis@prankster.com) for information or to join. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ He He, I got here soonest. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ***** 70'S ** * WEEKLY * * * * * * REPORT ** WAR : 70's armies are at the door of Dunhanus and Clatter cities. Many supports came from Eden5 (the 70's homeland). Methven : the town became a city (+1 wages). RODATERE : The 3rd Magical Fortress building is finished. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Can someone post information on the major alliances, or empires, that _aren't_ near the starting cities? We all know about the big alliances. But what about the other, what?, 4000 or so hexes? Also, has anyone given any thought to the creation of a UN-type peacekeeping force? (Not that the UN works all that often, but still . . . ) More specifically, since growth and development are still such attractive options, why don't the big boys set up DMZs and let a neutral faction police the border with OBSE leaders? Is war at this point really _that much_ fun? ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Hey we have, a long boat, we have a viking crew, and we have stormy seas, you know what we are missing Gilles? What Sven? Singing! One, two, three... spam spam spam spam / spam spam spam spam/ spamity spammm / spamtiy spamm... (appologies to Monty Python fans who got this reference) -Da Fish ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Rats ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Durness region could still best be described as chaotic. The armies of the Supreme Empire of Persecution and the United Neo-Classical Liberation Evangelists were still rampaging around the countryside. Alhaam needed help if his House was to survive. The omen in the abacus beads gave him the inspiration he needed. It was a complex symbol meaning many things : a gathering of the clan, jyhad (a particularly ruthless form of price war in the arms market), the manipulation of market forces by a monopoly or, in one very specific context, an indication that the oasis you are drinking from has been poisoned. But in this case the meaning was clear. Alhaam had once learned from his father that his great uncle Nazeem had sailed off with his family and servants to build a guild outpost in a faraway land. Only one message had ever made its way back saying that things were going well although the camels looked funny and were called llamas. Alhaam reasoned that if things were going well then they could assist their Durness relatives in this time of need. He decided to write a letter to his distant cousins at once. While doing so, however, Alhaam was interrupted by his secretary. "Yes, what is it?" "Two matters, sire. The first is rather simple. This quote requires your signature for validity." Alhaam quickly perused the document. It was a quote for 10 portable privies designed to support the weight of a fully armoured knight, addressed to the local UNCLE quartermaster. Remembering that the UNCLE army in Durness was travelling with two dragons he reduced the price to less than the current extortionary rate. Dragons always made him nervous. "And the second matter?" "Well, a letter has arrived from someone claiming to be Sven the Restless' son. He says that you will be able to verify its authenticity by reading it and asks to be employed by the House." Alhaam leaped up, grabbed the letter and read the awkwardly scrawled words. It was true! At the bottom of the letter, instead of a name, was a small squiggle which looked like a cross between a sea serpent and a smorgasbord. This was the secret symbol of Sven the Restless' family and could not possibly be known by others. Alhaam had seen it one morning after Sven came home drunk and tearfully insisted on swearing blood fealty to the House. The inept swordcut to his chest had almost killed Sven and ruined the tattoo but not before Alhaam had a chance to see the curious emblem. "Tell him to come at once!" The dark cloud hanging over Alhaam's heart since the death of his most beloved servant lifted a little. "Did he not perhaps write his name on the envelope?" Looking slightly embarrassed, the secretary, a viking himself, spoke the name that would prove to play a mighty role in the future of the House: "Sven Svenson." from "The History of House al-Kazzam" by Sven Kazzamsen, one of the original vikings recruited by the House. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Why it is so difficult to summon dragons ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Chosen of Cthulhu (40): Cthulhu is a monstrous entity who lies "dead but dreaming" in the city of R'lyeh, a place of non-Euclidean madness presently (and mercifully) sunken below the depths of the Atlantis Ocean. Cthulhu appears in various monstrous and demonic forms in early myths of the human race. Racial memory preserves Him as humanity's most basic nightmare. Cthulhu is the high priest of the Great Old Ones, unnatural alien beings who ruled Atlantis before humanity formed, worshipped as gods by some misguided people. It is said that They will return, causing worldwide insanity and mindless violence before finally displacing humanity forever. In "Call of Cthulhu" our beloved leader is described in the following way: It seemed to be a sort of monster, or symbol representing a monster, of a form which only a diseased fancy could conceive. If I say that my somewhat extravagant imagination yielded simultaneous pictures of an octopus, a dragon, and a human caricature, I shall not be unfaithful to the spirit of the thing. A pulpy, tentacled head surmounted a grotesque and scaly body with rudimentary wings; but it was the general outline of the whole which made it most shockingly frightful. Cthulhu stirs in his sleep. Soon the stars shall be in position and It will awaken. ________ / \ | \ | \ | \ \ __\/_\ \ \_/\_/\___ \/ / | \ | \ \ _/ _/ _| | \ \ |_ / | / / / / | \ \_ | / / | | \ \ \ \ Rastlin: Don't you think your going a bit over the top there Oswald? Besides Cthulhu is so passe. Oswald: Chillout man its just a game. What do you want me to do tell a riddle every turn or a poem? Tell how many dragons we killed the turn before? or what the marm and dbow production is upto? Rastlin: Yeah, but this Cthulhu stuff is just as pointless. Oswald: Have a little patience. I said Stroma would fall to UNCLE and it did. It took six or seven turns, not everyone plans just one turn in advance. Cthulhu awakening will be something big, give it some time I want to tell it with bit more style than say the 70's weekly report. [note: At least the 70's try and English ain't even their native language. Yes, the "ain't" is a joke.] Rastlin: Your going to make people parnoid. Oswald: *evil grin* Isn't that what Cthulhu is all about? Rastlin: Oh, now I get. So Cthulhu will awaken soon? Oswald: Right, now do the evil laugh thing. Rastlin: Bwahaahahaha. Oswald: No, no like this. MUHAHHAHAHA!!!! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ In the name of fun and frolic, the MDU has engaged the AIF in a local war. As a kind of surprise party thing, the Idiot Proof Clan rolled across an agreed border to capture a small number of population centers. The AIF really had other plans for the evening, but when the party is held at your house it is really best to get into the spirit of things. So, while we would be more than happy to back to doing our own thing, we simply hate the idea of being inhospitable by not showing MDU the best possible time by killing as many of them as we can. MDU has assured us that this is a private party, just for the fun of it, so we are not sending out any last minute invitations for more revelers. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Alert Warriors (25096) attacks Ettins (2983) in tunnels (26,24,underwo rld) in Sorisdale! Attackers: Alert Warriors (25096), 20 leaders [LEAD], 29 horses [HORS], 17 mithril swords [MSWO], 20 mithril armor [MARM], 3 swords [SWOR], combat 4, riding 2. RS2 (23480), behind, leader [LEAD], tactics 1, combat 2. Defenders: Ettins (2983), 2 ettins [ETTI] (Combat 2, Hits 32). Ettins (2983) gets a free round of attacks. Alert Warriors (25096) loses 0. Round 1: Alert Warriors (25096) loses 0. Ettins (2983) loses 0. Round 2: Alert Warriors (25096) loses 0. Ettins (2983) loses 0. Round 3: Alert Warriors (25096) loses 0. Ettins (2983) loses 0. Round 4: Alert Warriors (25096) loses 0. Ettins (2983) loses 0. Round 5: Alert Warriors (25096) loses 0. Ettins (2983) loses 0. Round 6: Alert Warriors (25096) loses 0. Ettins (2983) loses 0. Round 7: Alert Warriors (25096) loses 0. Ettins (2983) loses 1. Round 8: Alert Warriors (25096) loses 0. Ettins (2983) loses 1. Ettins (2983) is routed! Total Casualties: Ettins (2983) loses 2. Damaged units: 2983. Alert Warriors (25096) loses 0. Spoils: 1351 silver [SILV], 44 furs [FUR], 58 fish [FISH]. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Glass Chompers (65): Time for another trip out of town. Sure cuts down on the time to do the turn let alone update pages and such. Thanks to those who we have been working with this last turn! http://www.kraby.pair.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------ take those cities ------------------------------------------------------------------------ No no no. Fremen sleep with Llamas. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Rankings of POWER 1. Nameless 2. GALE 3. 70's 4. UNCLE 5. RIP 6. SEP A survey conducted by the Dragon Knights ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Dunster News Report: ************************************************************ Hello everone! We are bringing you a new installment of the Dunster News Report. What's happening around this region you ask? Well The exploration and exploitation unit is doing well. We added 10 more regions this last turn to our empire. Empire you say? Yes, EMPIRE! We are like the energizer bunny, we keep growing and growing and growing. I would like to Welcome a New Member to our Alliance. Greetings to you, I will not use names because that can make you a target of other Alliances. I am already a target so I don't care. The Monster Wars are still raging. What is going on. Have they had a population explosion or what? I mean they are everywhere. We kill 5 and 10 come back the next turn. These pesky things are causing my mounted units not to be able to move!!!!.. Balrogs anyone? Has anyone killed one? If you have please reply anonmously to the times.(I can't spell but you know what I mean) We have received a good response to our ad for Gate numbers of the starting city. Please keep them coming. I am willing to pay top $$ or information for them. Well that is all for now. Grayson, MFWIC, The Dark Legions (7) kgrindst@inlink.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------ In the tradition of the races who live in the shadow of the great northern mountains the peaks are the homes of gods who will destroy any who dare disturb their sacred places. Sir Elfmund Hillary mused on this as he watched a line of dwarvish porters snake their way towards the base camp. They carried the last load of the specially prepared floater hides filled with heavy valley air which would be used on the last stage of the climb to the summit. Soon, after years of careful preparation, the highest peak on Atlantis would yeild up its secrets. And this would be more than the mere conquest of a mountain - it would be a victory of the spirit of man against the savage superstition of the past... Then the 70's arrived and killed the whole expedition :( - ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ***** FAKE ** * WEEKLY * * * 70'S * * * REPORT ** WAR : We slaughter more Nursie Traders. We took the towns Nursie and Clueless left for us from the city guards and say we won a great victory! MONSTERS : On a visit to the city zoo Lady Mara was mistaken for a monster. The little children are still crying. MAGI : The mages sent to war should stop complaining about falling behind in their studies. We told you before- it is too much trouble to build you a tower! - ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Join the 70's Navy and see the next world! Crew is needed for our newly launched ship "The Medusa" - named after Lady Mara herself. Enlistment is easy. Simply wait in your local ale-house and go about your lawful business until our press gangs beat you senseless and drag you down to the harbour in chains! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Shakespearean Insult Kit To construct a Shakespearean insult, combine one word from each of the three columns below, and preface it with "Thou": Column 1 Column 2 Column 3 artless base-court apple-john bawdy bat-fowling baggage beslubbering beef-witted barnacle bootless beetle-headed bladder churlish boil-brained boar-pig cockered clapper-clawed bugbear clouted clay-brained bum-bailey craven common-kissing canker-blossom currish crook-pated clack-dish dankish dismal-dreaming clotpole dissembling dizzy-eyed coxcomb droning doghearted codpiece errant dread-bolted death-token fawning earth-vexing dewberry fobbing elf-skinned flap-dragon forward fat-kidneyed flax-wench frothy fen-sucked flirt-gill gleeking flap-mouthed foot-licker goatish fly-bitten fustilarian gorbellied folly-fallen giglet impertinent fool-born gudgeon infectious full-gorged haggard jarring guts-griping harpy loggerheaded half-faced hedge-pig lumpish hasty-witted horn-beast mammering hedge-born hugger-mugger mangled hell-hated joithead mewling idle-headed lewdster paunchy ill-breeding lout pribbling ill-nurtured maggot-pie puking knotty-pated malt-worm puny milk-livered mammet qualling motley-minded measle rank onion-eyed minnow reeky plume-plucked miscreant roguish pottle-deep moldwarp ruttish pox-marked mumble-news saucy reeling-ripe nut-hook spleeny rough-hewn pigeon-egg spongy rude-growing pignut surly rump-fed puttock tottering shard-borne pumpion unmuzzled sheep-biting ratsbane vain spur-galled scut venomed swag-bellied skainsmate villainous tardy-gaited strumpet warped tickle-brained varlet wayward toad-spotted vassal weedy unchin-snouted whey-face yeasty weather-bitten wagtail Note to Azthar: Although the word 'spleeny' is on the list, try to not use it more than once every 3 insults... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Fairwell Atlantis. I am retiring. Best wishes to all my friends in Syndic8 + elsewhere in the world of Atlantis. Mark Keen The Fellowship of Song (127) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Government Downsizing leads to breakup of Postal giant! In a move reminiscant of the break-up of AT&T, the rural delivery network of the Dilbian Interplanetary Postal Service has been sold off to local independant business concerns. DIPS founder John Tardy has been unavailable for comment [has been dead for 30 turns, so yeah, that makes him unavailable]. Many other formerly high-ranking Dilbians have also been seen in the private sector. Many wonder why it took so long for an off-world concern to notice that it was losing so much money on the RFD routes. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Now that creatures don't have so many magic items as treasure, can new players ever catch up to those who started in turn 1 ? ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Report from Seekers of the Way (218) ==================================== * Forces continue to move towards Nairn. The forces are gathered. Mithril armor, mithril swords, longbows, and the mages gather. * new email: randito@eden.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Glorious Organization of Divineship (GOD) --------------------------------------------------- GOD is a peaceful alliance with headquarters in Jotel. The members are Roses On White Lace (91) & Elves of Essedail (93). MUROM SAFE! After last month's succesful attack on the Murom city guards, the GOD force whacked a little force of rebels this month. Lord Smygelfh had instructed them to make sure the citizens could catch the divine feeling they brought, no matter if they had to beat it into them or not. YEW AT LAST! Many months of search gave result last month when a lone GOD lumberjack stumbled into a clearing in a never before visited part of the Balta forest. The clearing was lined with strange trees, and it didn't take long before the lumberjack was enough rewarded never to have to cut again. Lord Smygelfh, quickly inspecting the Jotel bow factory commented: "Lucky there was noone else there. I'd break an alliance for that yew!" ** Check out the Monster-Guide: www.student.tdb.uu.se/~m96thd/GOD ----------------------------------------------------------------- GOD can be reached at m96thd@student.tdb.uu.se ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Up